No Ego: How Leaders Can Cut the Cost of Workplace Drama, End Entitlement, and Drive Big Results

by Cy Wakeman

The New York Times bestselling author of Reality-Based Leadership rejects the current fad of "engaging" employees and the emotional drama of "meeting their needs"--returning leadership to leaders and productivity to businesses.

For years now, leaders in almost every industry have accepted two completely false assumptions--that change is hard, and that engagement drives results. Those beliefs have inspired expensive attempts to shield employees from change, involve them in high-level decision-making, and keep them happy with endless “satisfaction surveys” and workplace perks. But what these engagement programs actually do, Cy Wakeman says, is inflate expectations and sow unhappiness, leaving employees unprepared to adapt to even minor changes necessary to the organization’s survival. Rather than driving performance and creating efficiencies, these programs fuel entitlement and drama, costing millions in time and profit.

It is high time to reinvent leadership thinking. Stop worrying about your employees’ happiness, and start worrying about their accountability. Cy Wakeman teaches you how to hire “emotionally inexpensive” people, solicit only the opinions you need, and promote self-awareness in your whole team. No Ego disposes with unproven HR maxims, and instead offers a complete plan to turn your office from a den of discontent to a happy, productive place.

Genres: Leadership, Business, Nonfiction, Management, Audiobook, Self Help, Psychology

224 pages, Hardcover

Published September 19, 2017

Reviews

[cat · Rating 1 out of 5]

If I could give this less than one star, I would. While Wakeman makes points about emotional intelligence and self awareness that resonate (very occasionally), for the most part, No Ego is FULL of ego. There is nothing that turns me off from a book about leadership more quickly than an attitude that workers are inevitably the problem to be solved, and that ignores any reality of oppression/privilege dynamics by insisting that we choose our own happiness and the only reason we aren't happy is because we are choosing not to be and uses her own pullout quote, "Our suffering does not come from our reality; it comes from the stories we make up about our reality" with no caveat whatsoever. NOPE. Hard no for this, but glad I checked it out, because so many folks have been talking about her model.

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

The occasional interesting tidbit. Otherwise feels condescending and, ironically, full of ego.

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author has exactly one good point to make but it takes her 162 pages of repetition to make it. And then contradict herself. And then reiterate in a different way. The one good point is - take drama and emotion out of the workplace when you can. If you have employees who like to complain rather than work on solutions, hear them out for an amount of time appropriate to the situation and to the employee's value to the organization, lead them to think about how much of the complaint is verifiably true (not just "feels" true) and then turn it around and give them responsibility to come up with a solution. Taking emotion out of the workplace isn't a great solution for people who are passionate about their jobs but it can be helpful for a manager to pause, take a breath, and look at the situation without emotion clouding thoughts. Her other piece of advice seems to be - employees who don't say 'how high?' when you say 'jump' (without any explanation for why the employee is being told to jump) should be fired.

I'll give her one star for the reminder about how easy it is to let employee drama drag down an organization but this isn't groundbreaking and an article on workplace drama would have served as a better management aid than Wakeman's drawn-out, contradictory, self-congratulatory book.

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am not going to say I didn't take anything away from this book by Cy Wakeman but overall the book could be limited down to an article. It may be more useful for those in corporate world but so many of the elements are, thankfully, entirely out of the realm of reality for a non-profit.

[Sammy Loves Books · Rating 2 out of 5]

A little required reading for work...Yay!!

[Nefertari · Rating 1 out of 5]

Can I give this a lower rating than one star? It certainly has earned only that much.

If you interview with someone and see this book on their shelf - RUN.

The author contradicts herself multiple times, and seems to be running an office full of androids with no human emotion, and that seems to be the gold standard she's aiming for. Just...ugh.

[Larisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although I agree with the statement that there is be too much unnessesary emotional drama in the workplace, the main message of the book is cruel.

"The role of leaders is to help people get clear on the fact that if they want to play on the team, buy-in is a prerequisite."

"If the employee mentions reservations, expresses resistance, or indicates a low level of buy-in, follow up with questions like "What is your plan to get bought in?"or "How could you use your expertise to mitigate thr concerns you have to ensure buy-in and deliver results?"

"It sounds like buy-in isn't something you're willing to offer right now. What plans do you have to transition off this assignment or team?"

"An important Reality-Based Leadership mantra that bypasses ego is "Stay in joy or go in piece. "

Employees are being treated like sh*t. Move here - stay there. No one is interested in your opinion.

I wouldn't want to work for a company led according to these principles.

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately, my personnel work experience lends itself to be critical of the approaches laid out in this book.

Make no mistake, the time lost on managing emotional waste is a real thing, but sometimes the problems that are identified in an emotional venting are real and need approaches that go beyond 'knuckling down' or 'what would excellent look like'.

The hypothetical that kept coming up in my mind is what about the 'venting' that is not directed at a manager. What if the topic of venting IS the manager. This book presumes that a manger always holds the department/organization/company's best interest. There are, sadly, times in which that is not true and applying these methodologies could have disastrous results of prolonging and amplifying everything from incompetence to turnover of good employees who only get encouraged to strive in an environment of blame and finger pointing.

At the end of the day, actions are indeed better then words, but also there is absolutely healthy levels of 'venting'. It's human. Not enough attention is giving in the book to what can be learned from that part of the conversation. A good manager with good employees can use this book, but it can also very easily be misinterpreted as 'Just fix it' or 'Buck up sissy pants' if all you care about is getting over an issue and moving forward from a given problem. Learning what stresses your staff and how they try and cope with change are critical in a good management model, not just how to solve a problem.

The part that really made me shake my head was the final story speaking about giving one of her many sons the motivation to find a way to secure transportation to an event. The tough parenting approach allowed the kid to do what they wanted without disrupting a planned relaxing evening for the parent. Extrapolating the story to a business setting would be like an employee approaching their boss/manager/supervisor with a problem, and being told to fix it on their own and only being told what solutions are not allowed. My final thought from reading this story was in the voice of the Bob's asking 'So what would you say, you do here?' Referring to the parent/manger.

And that, in short, is my take away. In an environment that follows this model, staff is so competent and empowered, that management is not even needed. But good luck trying to sell your business consulting work on that premise.

[K_private · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t disagree with some of the fundamental messages of the book - that ego drives behaviour and that addressing it can be wasteful. But it was incredibly black and white and unrealistic. She describes it as tough love, but it borders on delusional. I will be more conscious of ego and how it impacts my management of people, but that’s about it. A bit scary that this is being promoted at EDC...we are all complex individuals and that’s just a fact of a workplace. Promotes this idea of corporate drones and yes men who can’t challenge authority.

[Angela Calchera · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was incredibly difficult to read. I got to a bit beyond half way and had to put it down. He loves the phrase “driving their bmws (bitching moaning whining). It’s incredibly dismissive. While I do think that there are some good strategies there for increasing accountability that could be applied in ways that don’t clash with my personal values, the majority of this book was the author tooting their own horn with very little substance. I think there are other sources for the same advice that aren’t as horribly tone deaf.

[Audrey · Rating 1 out of 5]

I liked the start, as the survey on drama was intriguing. From there on, the author demonizes ego and twists ego into themes to serve the agenda of the book. This twisting occurs with other concepts such as empathy and resiliency. Furthermore, many claims were made and supported with stories. That's great, but a story is one data point. The claims were outlandish and simply not supported by data. If you want to read about how companies work or how people work, try some Jim Collins or Susan Kain; don't bother wasting time with this one.

[Deirdre · Rating 1 out of 5]

I would not want to work for someone who took leadership advice from this book. Aside from one or two semi-noteworthy takeaways, the loudest message that rang in my ear was that problems usually lie with the employees and it’s up to you, the leader, to let them know you expect them to get on board or you show them the door.

[Katie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Once I read her cracked up definition of empathy I knew I was in for a trip. It really peaked in the change management chapter. This may be good advice for some workplaces but not everywhere. She’s merciless.

[Jonathan Montgomery · Rating 2 out of 5]

Need to find a physical copy, as I listened to the audiobook, so can't add some thoughts until I have all the information.

Initial impression is negative. Book contains some good self help advice to apply to your work, but the leadership style advocated is robotic at best and cruel at worst.

[Kevin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Would not recommend this book to anyone.

[Bobbie B. · Rating 1 out of 5]

A better title would be Management for Psychopaths.

[Abby Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Our leadership team at the library is reading this book for a team book discussion early in the new year. Cy Wakeman has a lot of insightful and relevant things to say about leaders helping their employees deal with realities (instead of the stories our egos tell us) and engage with self-reflection. I'm excited to talk about this book with our team because I think it really applies to our current situation at the library.

[Kris Patrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Stay in joy or go in peace.” Good mantra!

[Emily Perry · Rating 3 out of 5]

One word sums up this style of leadership:

ACCOUNTABILITY

[Sarah Cupitt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Notes:
- What does great leadership mean? Is it about catering to everyone's preferences and patiently listening to every complaint? Or is it about helping your employees focus on what's really important and making them more resilient and accountable? You'd probably pick the latter, right?
- Maybe, instead of focusing on making everyone happy, we should be putting our efforts into creating an empowered, strong and adaptable workforce that can change with the times.
- Employees weren't coming to her to seek coaching or solutions, they just wanted to vent. Not only that, but what they were complaining about weren't facts – things that were actually happening – but rather things they imagined were happening.
- Questions like, What do you know for sure? or What's your part in this? shifted the focus from blaming others or external circumstances to taking personal responsibility.
- Wakeman's approach – reality-based leadership flips the script. It's about confronting reality directly and helping employees bypass their egos. The method is simple yet effective. It uses intentional mental processes to reduce drama and emotional waste, leading to significant improvements in both individual and organisational performance. Leaders who adopt these strategies can better manage workplace dynamics, calling their teams to greatness by encouraging them to recognise and act on their own potential.
- Once, Wakeman listened to an employee who was sure that the company policy of scheduling an ice cream social at 2pm was evidence of a toxic workplace environment and a management plot against her team. This employee's ego was hard at work turning a simple event into a tale of conspiracy and mistreatment. (the truth was far less dramatic)
- To bypass the ego, leaders move away from the traditional ideas of being the person who provides answers and directives. Instead, great leaders facilitate self-reflection by asking questions like, what do you know for sure? Or, what could you do to add value?
-
No Ego
Cy Wakeman No Ego – How Leaders Can Cut the Cost of Workplace Drama, End Entitlement and Drive Big Results What does great leadership mean? Is it about catering to everyone's preferences and patiently listening to every complaint? Or is it about helping your employees focus on what's really important and making them more resilient and accountable? You'd probably pick the latter, right?
And yet many leaders are bending over backward to listen to every opinion and provide whatever their employees ask for. Egos are being coddled left and right, but does all this coddling really produce the results we're looking for? Maybe, instead of focusing on making everyone happy, we should be putting our efforts into creating an empowered, strong and adaptable workforce that can change with the times. This is the argument behind reality-based leadership. In the sections ahead we'll look at the logic and tools behind this approach, as well as learn how to build a team that spends less time venting and more time achieving.
Getting Rid of Emotional Waste Years ago, as a new manager, the author Cy Wakeman was told she should have an open-door policy. But what she quickly discovered was that this policy practically ensured that she would spend a huge chunk of her day listening to people recount every detail of their personal workplace drama. Employees weren't coming to her to seek coaching or solutions, they just wanted to vent. Not only that, but what they were complaining about weren't facts – things that were actually happening – but rather things they imagined were happening.
You may have picked up some managerial advice that says it's good to let employees vent, but it's not. Instead of fostering a healthy, productive environment, this approach ends up fuelling a workplace culture of victim mentality and low morale. To describe employees who waste time arguing with reality instead of confronting it, Wakeman coined the term emotionally expensive. These individuals are prone to contributing opinions rather than taking actionable steps, seeing themselves as victims instead of problem solvers. But her open-door experience did lead to a revelation. Instead of letting employees unload their complaints, she started asking pointed questions that forced them to reflect on their role in the issues they faced.
Questions like, What do you know for sure? or What's your part in this? shifted the focus from blaming others or external circumstances to taking personal responsibility. Wakeman was teaching employees to edit their stories – the emotional narratives that distract from the facts – so they could focus on what truly mattered – finding solutions and making decisions that drive results. Her method had a powerful impact. The members of her team became more independent, productive and efficient problem solvers even as other departments continued to struggle with unresolved workplace drama.
This first-hand experience led to a large-scale data collecting project. The results showed that, on average, employees spend more than two hours a day entangled in drama, costing companies enormous amounts of money in lost productivity. This doesn't just affect junior staff – even senior leaders spend hours each week managing the fallout from workplace drama. The data also identified five major sources of workplace drama – ego behaviours, lack of accountability, resistance to change, poor buy-in and disengagement. In these areas, traditional leadership tools often make the situation worse because they inadvertently feed the ego, tolerate dissent to non-negotiable decisions and foster entitlement without accountability. In other words, many current strategies coddle the employee.
This creates a workforce that expects leaders to keep them motivated and happy which is neither sustainable nor realistic. Wakeman's approach – reality-based leadership flips the script. It's about confronting reality directly and helping employees bypass their egos. The method is simple yet effective. It uses intentional mental processes to reduce drama and emotional waste, leading to significant improvements in both individual and organisational performance. Leaders who adopt these strategies can better manage workplace dynamics, calling their teams to greatness by encouraging them to recognise and act on their own potential.
The unfriendly ego Before we get to the various tools and approaches you can use to reduce emotional waste in the workplace, let's answer the question of what differentiates reality from ego because effective leadership requires understanding and managing the ego both in yourself and in others. Now, we all have an ego but it doesn't always act like a friend. The ego is the part of the psyche that tries to match experience with our sense of self-identity and in doing so it can come up with some fanciful, unrealistic ideas. When things are going well, your ego can tell you how great you are and if things aren't going well, your ego can come up with all kinds of external excuses.
To put it mildly, the ego is an unreliable narrator. It's for good reason that the Buddha once referred to the ego as the root of all suffering. So, while the ego is the source of most workplace drama and emotional waste, reality is your friend. It provides clear, reliable information that helps you make sound decisions and grow. Once, Wakeman listened to an employee who was sure that the company policy of scheduling an ice cream social at 2pm was evidence of a toxic workplace environment and a management plot against her team. This employee's ego was hard at work turning a simple event into a tale of conspiracy and mistreatment.
Wakeman knew the truth was far less dramatic and helped the employee see through her ego-driven narrative. This leads us to a core belief of reality-based leadership. Suffering isn't caused by our circumstances but by the stories we create about those circumstances. To bypass the ego, leaders move away from the traditional ideas of being the person who provides answers and directives. Instead, great leaders facilitate self-reflection by asking questions like, what do you know for sure? Or, what could you do to add value?
These questions help employees focus on reality and their role in creating positive outcomes rather than getting caught up in ego-fuelled drama. The ego's worst enemy is accountability. When leaders ask questions that hold people accountable through self-reflection and conscious decision-making, it deflates the ego and shifts the focus to reality-based action. For instance, Wakeman recounts a situation with a project manager who initially responded to a challenge with a list of reasons why success was impossible. Rather than indulging him or shutting him down, Wakeman guided him through a series of questions that led him to shift the conversation from why we can't to how we can. This small shift in perspective unlocked a solution that kept a major project on track.
The lesson that every employee should learn is that your circumstances are not a barrier to success. They are the context in which you must succeed. In the next section, we'll get into more detail about how leaders can convey this empowering message.
Self-reflection and self-empowerment Shifting your focus to a new kind of leadership, especially one that is less about giving orders and more about fostering better mental processes, might sound radical. But this approach has far-reaching benefits for the leaders, the employees, and the organisation as a whole. In a way, reality-based leadership is true leadership in that it is less about being authoritative and more about empowering people to manage themselves effectively. To facilitate this new mindset, the author has developed the concept of no-ego moments.
These are opportunities for leaders to help managers and employees recognise when they're operating in ego mode. By developing an awareness of when the ego is taking over and creating false narratives, you can learn to quiet your mind and let reality take charge. One practical technique is to stop believing everything you think. Sit quietly and listen to the internal dialogue, questioning whether these thoughts are true, and recognising that the ego often fills our minds with unnecessary drama.
- Self-reflection is key to recognising projection, where employees confuse the person with the problem. This often happens when the ego feels threatened and seeks someone to blame. By helping employees break down issues into clear, factual statements, leaders can guide their teams to clarity and effective problem-solving.
- All opinions aren't of equal value. Managers and leaders are no doubt familiar with the topic of engagement. There are many internal surveys focused on measuring employee engagement, but these are often inadequate. For starters, these assessments tend to treat the opinions of every employee equally.
- The first step is to stop coddling and start listening. Focus on feedback from highly accountable employees and use their insights to drive improvements. Then do action planning differently. Ask employees what they want to be different and what they are willing to do to achieve it. Work with the willing.
- Invest time and energy in your best and brightest employees who are committed to growth.
- Resilient employees actively engage with their networks, seeking advice and collaboration, which in turn strengthens their ability to overcome difficulties. Ownership is about accepting responsibility for the outcomes of one's actions, whether they are positive or negative.

[Sean · Rating 3 out of 5]

A social psychologist breaks down how employers can habilitate employees to actively lessen workplace "emotional waste" -- i.e., work hours wasted on drama, stubbornness, self-absorption, or hurt feelings -- and focus on reality to drive results. Her argument imports Buddhist ideas such as how happiness (or, in this case, a high-functioning organization) can only be realized if we help colleagues dissolve/circumvent our wants, desires, and self-minded narratives to instead focus on impartially accepting a dynamic reality and whatever we might accomplish within it. This argument's validity depends on the assumption that employers can help employees realize the rewards of Buddhist meditative practices (dissolving or circumventing ego -- something thought to take >10k hours of meditating) without needing employees to actually meditate; doing so merely by framing conversations and culture a certain way.

I agree with and liked many points made in this book, such as how employees can benefit from developing a skepticism toward personal narratives and normative assessments of a company, from seeing an organization as a dynamic factual entity, and focusing merely on what they can do at any moment. I didn't always agree with the simplifications this book relied on. One example is how the book sorts employees as accountable or unaccountable: Accountable employees are independent, problem-solving stars who are all-in and need very little support; unaccountable employees are stuck in the throughs of ego, are more concerned with their self-preservation and comfort than the business' success, and demand a lot of coddling and wasted resources from leadership. The book argues that organizations will benefit from identifying and engaging accountable employees preferentially and pushing unaccountable employees to either become more accountable or leave (period). This line of thinking seems to assume that accountable employees are also wise decision-makers -- unbiased, moral, anti-racist, apolitical, and falling on the correct side of a host of other complicating factors -- or will get there soon simply by being accountable and productive. I don't think this is true. Or, said another way: I think that the picture of what organizations need to keep employees positive and leaning-in is more than just coaching on how to bypass their egos, though bypassing egos is likely helpful.

The rationale and instructions in this book on bypassing ego in the workplace are very thought-provoking. It might be valuable to partially incorporate in efforts to improve workplace relations and culture, but I wouldn't expect these ideas in themselves to be an organizational silver bullet.

[Jung · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cy Wakeman’s "No Ego: How Leaders Can Cut the Cost of Workplace Drama, End Entitlement, and Drive Big Results" delves into the concept of reality-based leadership, which focuses on removing workplace drama and fostering an empowered, accountable workforce. The book presents a radical shift from the traditional leadership models that often cater to employees' egos and emotional whims, encouraging instead a results-driven approach that prioritizes facts over feelings. Wakeman's philosophy emphasizes that great leadership isn't about coddling employees or ensuring their happiness but about helping them face reality, take responsibility, and achieve great results.

At the core of Wakeman's message is the idea that emotional waste—complaints, venting, and blame-shifting—clogs up workplace efficiency. Wakeman recalls her experience as a new manager when she was encouraged to have an open-door policy. Initially, she found herself spending hours listening to employees vent about workplace issues. However, she realized that this approach was not solving problems but instead fueling a culture of victim mentality. Employees were focusing on imagined problems, not actual issues, and simply wanted to complain rather than take action. This inspired Wakeman to create her reality-based leadership model, which encourages leaders to focus on facts, not emotions, and to guide employees toward accountability.

Wakeman’s approach begins by addressing what she calls "emotional waste." This term refers to the time employees spend entangled in workplace drama, complaining about situations instead of solving them. She believes that allowing employees to vent is counterproductive. Instead, leaders should ask direct questions like "What do you know for sure?" or "What's your part in this?" to shift the focus from emotional reactions to personal responsibility. This line of questioning forces employees to confront the facts, not the emotional stories they've built around the facts. This small but powerful change in leadership technique can transform a team from one that dwells on drama to one that focuses on solutions and results.

Wakeman's research shows that, on average, employees spend over two hours a day engaged in drama. This results in enormous losses in productivity, costing companies money and hindering organizational growth. Even senior leaders are not immune to this, as they often spend hours each week managing workplace drama. Wakeman identified five key sources of this drama: ego behaviors, lack of accountability, resistance to change, poor buy-in, and disengagement. Traditional leadership approaches, according to Wakeman, often exacerbate these problems by catering to employees' egos and fostering a sense of entitlement without requiring accountability.

The reality-based leadership model turns these problems on their head. Instead of catering to egos, Wakeman encourages leaders to confront reality head-on and help their employees bypass their ego-driven narratives. By using mental processes that reduce drama and emotional waste, leaders can significantly improve both individual and organizational performance. The key is to create a culture where employees take responsibility for their actions and are empowered to find solutions rather than placing blame or making excuses.

Understanding and managing the ego is essential for effective leadership. The ego, as Wakeman describes, is the unreliable part of the psyche that often distorts reality to fit one's sense of self-identity. The ego can tell someone they're great when things are going well, or it can blame external factors when things aren't. The problem is that the ego is a poor judge of reality. Wakeman emphasizes that suffering in the workplace isn’t caused by circumstances but by the stories people create about those circumstances. Leaders who understand this can help their employees focus on reality rather than the ego-driven narratives that create unnecessary drama.

The enemy of the ego is accountability. By asking questions that encourage employees to reflect on their own roles and responsibilities, leaders can deflate the ego and shift the focus to reality-based actions. For example, instead of asking an employee why something can't be done, Wakeman suggests asking how it can be done. This shift in perspective encourages problem-solving and removes the ego from the equation. Employees who learn to focus on solutions instead of obstacles are better able to meet challenges head-on and deliver results.

Wakeman’s reality-based leadership model also emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and self-empowerment. Rather than relying on leaders to provide all the answers, employees should be encouraged to reflect on their own thinking and actions. Leaders can facilitate these "no-ego moments" by helping employees recognize when they're operating in ego mode. By teaching employees to question their own thoughts and assumptions, leaders can help them focus on the facts and find more effective solutions.

One technique Wakeman suggests is to stop believing everything you think. Employees should learn to question their internal narratives and ask themselves whether their thoughts are based on reality or ego-driven drama. This process of self-reflection helps employees move past their egos and focus on what truly matters—taking actions that lead to success. Additionally, leaders can encourage employees to seek advice from their network of colleagues and peers rather than relying solely on their managers. This not only builds a stronger support system within the organization but also encourages collaboration and resilience.

A crucial component of Wakeman’s model is accountability. She argues that not all opinions are of equal value, especially in the context of employee engagement surveys. These surveys often treat every response equally, but Wakeman suggests that organizations should filter feedback through the lens of accountability. Employees who take ownership of their actions and demonstrate accountability should be given more weight than those who avoid responsibility and seek ideal conditions without effort. Leaders should focus on feedback from highly accountable employees and use their insights to drive improvements within the organization.

Wakeman outlines a three-step process for fostering accountability. First, leaders should stop coddling employees and start listening to those who are willing to take responsibility for their actions. Second, they should approach action planning differently by asking employees what they want to change and what they are willing to do to achieve it. Finally, leaders should remove disengagement as an option. If employees refuse to take accountability, they should be asked to either get on board with the program or transition out of the team.

Wakeman also breaks down accountability into five stages: commitment, resilience, ownership, continuous learning, and collegial mentoring. These stages are essential for building a culture where employees are truly accountable for their actions and outcomes. Leaders should challenge their teams, allow them to experience the consequences of their actions, provide effective feedback, encourage self-reflection, and foster a supportive environment where feedback comes from multiple sources.

Ultimately, Wakeman’s "No Ego" offers a refreshing take on leadership by shifting the focus from ego-driven drama to reality-based solutions. By reducing emotional waste and fostering accountability, leaders can create a more efficient, resilient, and joyful workplace. The book provides practical tools and techniques for eliminating drama, empowering employees, and driving big results, making it a must-read for anyone looking to improve their leadership skills and create a more productive workplace environment.

[Lola Kat · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am only on page 69 and this book, which was highly recommended by someone whose opinion I value immensely, but am feeling infuriated from what I've read. I'll probably keep updating my progress.

There are some good points in the book, but the point of view is in Cy's own words from a behavioral therapist point of view. Most non-medical employers cannot operate in that type of point of view.

Things I like: emotional waste and exhaustion. Yes, our doors can't physically be open for 45 minute back to back complaining and venting from employees. Totally agree!

Things I do not care for: Not every employee's opinion matters. Cy gives an example of Deb the Driver and Vickie the Victim (pgs 67-69). Deb loves and cares for the company and wants to see it succeed. Vickie complains about things with the company and because she has complaints, wouldn't we rather value Deb's opinion? NO. Employees voice their opinions for change and because they generally want to see change happen. Deb could be stuck in her ways and want to see the company succeed as it has been succeeding. I've known the Debs and Vickies of the world and BOTH opinions matter.

Another thing I liked: Engagement without accountability creates entitlement. Yes, it definitely can. Great point!

Another thing I did not like: If your employees are not willing to follow your engagement and accountability like the majority of your workforce, they aren't worth keeping (I'm paraphrasing). Everyone can add something to the organization. I'm interested in that percentage that may not follow the engagement philosophy to a T because they aren't robots and can add so much more to the Workplace.

I was not expecting to feel such frustration at Cy's points. There are some good tools, but to think that one person is better than another also creates entitlement and adds another level to emotionally exhausted conversations.

[Carly Really Very Normal · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am all about emotional growth, self-awareness, and healthy boundary setting. Unfortunately, I do not see this book outlining that and running with it; she makes a couple of good points, but ultimately appears to want her employees to be robots. Apparently all employees just want to complain and not work and be unhappy and it is all their fault and as a leader you should tell them to stop. Also, I am very much understanding of needing a job for money, to pay bills; it is awesome when you can get a job that aligns with your goals and morals and wants you to succeed, but even then, money is a huge motivation because we literally need it to exist. My institution is setting up a book-club for managers to group-read and discuss this book, and I wanted to read it before hand to have an idea of it, before re-reading it with the group. Unfortunately, while I love my workplace very much and have always felt supported and encouraged to take risks, I'm not sure how I feel about my boss recommending this book so highly she's requiring us to read it; I have a feeling I might be butting heads with a few people. I'm still very new to management, but I don't know how much I can use from this book. I know the kind of manager I would like to be (having worked for both amazing and horrible managers/bosses), and her version of leadership seems really cold and sterile.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Opinions aren’t valuable. Action is.” - Cy Wakeman [No Ego: How Leaders Can Cut the Cost of Workplace Drama, End Entitlement, and Drive Big Results]

Brilliant work...accountability, accountability, accountability! Leaders, stop facilitating enormous amounts of emotional waste through “change management.” Instead, strengthen business readiness in employees that choose to be aware & willing. Don’t waste time...let go of those who are not willing to quiet their ego, and who refuse to work productively & continue to generate workplace drama.

In other words, don’t coddle employees from inevitable change...change will happen...equip them with the right thought processes, to help them tackle any changes that come their way.

All business owners / leaders should be reading this book. 1) Become aware of your own ego [first step to anything, is to lead by example], 2) train your employees to bypass their own egos, and 3) remember, not all employees are equal; the ones who “buy-in” to your company are the ones that should have more weight. Those that resist...ask them what they can do to “buy-in,” and if all else fails, let them go.

Definitely going to reread this book. So much great knowledge for the workplace as a leader 🙌🏼

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well crafted, easy read and loaded with meaningful content. Although much of it I already "knew" this book rephrases the concepts in a very approachable way. Reading this book was like having a conversation with a trusted friend. I highlighted many paragraphs and will come back to this book again in the months to come. Thank you Cy!

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple. Clear. To the point.

I never really thought about emotional waste before reading this book, but, like most of us in the work force, are totally guilty of it. In fact, many of us spend up to 2 hours of our work day on unproductive emotional waste. If you want to learn how to cut it out and increase job satisfaction, talent retention and productivity, "No Ego" is the key. Also, it's got a workbook in the back!

This book provides a no-nonsense, straight forward approach to leadership that has inspired me to reconsider how i communicate at the office as well as at home.

Highly recommended.

[Joe Klein · Rating 1 out of 5]

Shocking the amount of ego in a book supposedly about no ego. At times it’s flatly contradictory.

Assumes most things employees complain about are driven by underlying entitlement. Undoubtedly, these things are present - but not to the extent Cy would lead you to believe.

No…. companies/managers often times pursue financial incentives/policies at the unnecessary expense of employees and no amount of “what would great look like” (spare me) will change the reality of that.

I’ll give her this, I agree venting just to vent should be minimized and ultimately channeled into solutions-focused thinking/action. But this shouldn’t be ground breaking…….. Right?

[Lizz · Rating 1 out of 5]

Odd that a book with a name such as "No Ego" can have an author that is nothing but... Yes, I do agree that we could all do with less workplace drama. However, issues do exist in the workplace that are not necessarily the employee's fault. This author dismisses the idea that anybody else but the employee is responsible because they are feeling entitled. The author lacks empathy and compassion, something that usually makes me very suspicious. I would not recommend this book to anyone working in the corporate world.

[Kelly winstanley · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish that I could give negative stars to a book.

No Ego shows that the author has a huge ego and contradicts herself over and over again. This book on “leadership” stresses that the employees are the problem, not the leadership. What could leaders have to learn from that? Who is the intended audience?