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In the 25th Century the British Space Empire faces the gathering menace of the evil ant-soldiers of the Ghast Empire hive, hell-bent on galactic domination and the extermination of all humanoid life. Isambard Smith is the square-jawed, courageous, and somewhat asinine new commander of the battle damaged light freighter John Pym, destined to take on the alien threat because nobody else is available. Together with his bold crew—a skull-collecting alien lunatic, an android pilot who is actually a fugitive sex toy, and a hamster called Gerald—he must collect new-age herbalist Rhianna Mitchell from the laid back New Francisco orbiter and bring her back to safety in the Empire. Straightforward enough—except the Ghasts want her too. If he is to get back to Blighty alive, Smith must defeat void sharks, a universe-weary android assassin, and John Gilead, psychopathic naval officer from the fanatically religious Republic of New Eden before facing his greatest a ruthless alien warlord with a very large behind.

306 pages, Paperback

First published May 6, 2008

34 people are currently reading
1128 people want to read

About the author

Toby Frost

26 books108 followers
Toby Frost studied law and currently works as a legal journalist. Unable to become Great Britain's foremost space explorer, he wrote the Space Captain Smith series, a set of six comedies about intrepid galactic explorer Isambard Smith and his barely-competent crew.

Toby has also written short stories and the novel Straken for Black Library, set in the Warhammer 40,000 universe.

He has recently started a series of fantasy novels, the first two of which - Up To The Throne and Blood Under Water - are now available. He is currently working on the third in the series.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 142 reviews
Profile Image for Dan Schwent.
3,183 reviews10.8k followers
June 18, 2011
Isambard Smith, former captain and current file clerk, gets tapped to take captaincy of the John Pym and transport Rhianna Mitchell from New Fransisco to the British Empire. Helping him are Carveth, a renegade sex droid, Suruk the Morlock, and a hamster named Gerald. Unfortunately, both the Ghast Empire and the Republic of New Eden also have their eyes on Rhianna as well...

Sometimes, I run into a book that feels like it was written specifically for me. Space Captain Smith is a comedic space opera, like Christopher Moore sat down with the surviving members of Monty Python and attempted to write an episode of Battlestar Galactica. The humor is dry and sarcastic with nods to Bladerunner, Predator, Star Wars, Star Trek, and The Matrix, among other things. Smith and crew are hilarious but the story never falls into a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy level of absurdity. Although, there is a redneck planet and a hippie planet...

I'd recommend this to all fans of Christopher Moore, Red Dwarf, and fans of British Humor in general.
Profile Image for John McDermott.
480 reviews88 followers
December 22, 2021
A very silly British Sci-Fi romp by way of Monty Python, Red Dwarf and Douglas Adams with even a bit of Carry On innuendo thrown in. Spotting the various movies being lampooned was great fun .
The writing style was no great shakes really and the plot was almost non-existent. Both were really only serving as a means of getting the jokes in.
Happily, the humour mostly worked with some genuine laugh out loud moments. Also, the characterisations were very good and Suruk especially - the psychopathic Predator style alien - was very entertaining .
I'll happily continue with the series.
Profile Image for ᴥ Irena ᴥ.
1,654 reviews242 followers
April 8, 2017
4.5

There are so many reasons to love this book. From its strange crew - a brave, almost fanatically patriotic and really dense captain Isambard Smith, his grey-skinned, violent and skull-gathering companion Suruk and a fugitive android Pollyanna Carveth who took issue with the whole created-to-pleasure-a-depraved-rich-man thing - to the enemies they pick up along the way (the insectoid Ghast are preparing for war against the humans and human religious zealots aren't fans of our captain either) and friends (from out of the way rednecks whose necks can't be red to nerdy cyber revolutionaries), this book is hilarious and entertaining as hell.

To illustrate how funny the captain is I would have to quote everything he's said in the book. I won't, don't worry.

The other two are equally entertaining, if not more in Suruk's case. He is so far-removed from subtlety, I was laughing during most of his scenes.
‘And I got you this!’ Suruk added proudly, holding up a plastic bag. ‘Erm, what’s that?’ Carveth asked. ‘It’s kind of dripping.’ ‘You said you wanted our enemies disarmed.’
...
'It’s just that the people here are not very open-minded and may get offended by you being here.’ ‘All the more reason to open their minds up, with an axe.’
The story starts with Isambard Smith wishing he would get a chance to fly a ship. Be careful what you wish for ('‘It’s a list of all the things wrong with this ship.’ ‘Bad news?’ ‘They could bring it out in paperback.').
He is sent on a mission to pick up a woman from New Francisco. In and out. Easy. What could possibly go wrong in such an ordinary and simple mission? It turns out, a lot. Two factions are after that woman and, stubborn as he is chivalrous, captain Isambard Smith won't allow anything to happen to her.

The author pokes fun at everything under the sun like history, politics, war, news and so much more.
'You’ll slip up, just like everyone else who tries to mess with the British Empire. They all get it wrong somehow – forget some detail, make some tiny error, invade Russia – and then it’s all downhill from there.’
I loved every moment of it.
Profile Image for Dirk Grobbelaar.
802 reviews1,220 followers
January 8, 2019
What would you get if an author like George MacDonald Fraser wrote a steampunk novel with space opera undertones that was one part The Pyrates, one part King Solomon's Mines and two parts Firefly (the TV-series). I don't know either, but it could conceivably be something like Space Captain Smith. At least this book doesn't take itself too seriously, which counts in its favour when the one-liners and innuendos start coming. And come they do!

The long and short of it is: Space Captain Smith gets his first space ship commission and sets out on a secret mission of sorts. His motley crew consists of a fugitive android sex toy and an alien who takes pleasure in decapitating and dismembering folk. Of course, there is a lot that Smith hasn't been told regarding the circumstances he'll be facing and things go very south from around page 3 of the novel. It's great fun, of course, as our hapless heroes face alien hordes, cultists, void sharks, and probably the worst of all, a corrupt planet governor.

I really enjoyed this. If I had to draw a comparison of sorts, I'd say this series is doing for Science Fiction what the Jig The Goblin series (Goblin Quest) did for Fantasy. Space Captain Smith is followed by God Emperor of Didcot.
Profile Image for Mpauli.
165 reviews466 followers
March 31, 2014
Space Captain Smith is a lot of things. It's very silly, it's very hilarious and it's very entertaining.
But beware, if you're looking for something sophisticated, the British Space Empire might not be the place for you.^^

Isambard Smith is longing for command of a ship, cause in his opinion he's an amazing captain. So he finally thinks to get recognized properly, when he gets command of the John Pym, a really rusty civilian space ship.
The only crew member is a female pilot simulant who forged her papers and driver's license. Actually, she's an escaped sex-toy and on the run from her employer. With her comes her hamster, Gerald. He's just a hamster, really. (And if I would be Toby Frost, I would've found a come-joke in here)
Isambard's alien friend Suruk tags along as well, cause it's his vacation. Of course, vacation for him means to get as many new pieces for his collection of skulls as possible.
Their mission is to pick up a hippie girl from the planet of New Fran and bring her back to the empire. What can possibly go wrong?

So, if Terry Pratchett and Monty Phyton would have a love child that likes to crossdress between Steampunk and SF, it would surely be Space Captain Smith.
So, if you're looking to have a good time and don't want to take anything too serious, Space Captain Smith is a quick read full of space whales, medidation circles, religious fanatics, backwater planets, cyberpunk nerds and tea...cause there's always tea!
Profile Image for Ben Aaronovitch.
Author 168 books13.3k followers
January 5, 2014
The thing about comedy is that there is only one rule - it must be funny. Neither the cunning use of metaphor or depth of characterisation nor the beauty of your language will avail you if the work doesn't get a laugh.

Space Captain Smith made me laugh out loud - often unexpectedly - so I judge it a great success. You may not find it funny but since it is also a short, inexpensive book you won't have lost much giving it a whirl.
Profile Image for Stephen.
1,516 reviews12.3k followers
November 19, 2010
4.0 stars. This is an example of what I really like about Goodreads. I would probably have never come across this book but I saw one of my Goodread friends add it (thanks Amanda) and thought it looked interesting so I picked up a copy. Well I ended up really enjoying the book and the author's writing style and now have a new author to keep my eye on. Okay, thus ends my current plug for Goodreads.

As far as the book itself goes, the book description is very good so I won't repeat the basic plot. I will just add that the story is light and funny and the characters are very likeable. I actually laughed OUT LOUD on half a dozen occassions (not something that happens often to me while reading) and spent much of the rest of the time with at least a slight smile on my face.

That said, there were some flaws, though I thought they were relatively minor. A number of the jokes fell flat and the plot sometimes got away from itslef. However, overall reading the book was very enjoyable and what I would call a "mood enhancing" experience.

I intend to read the next book in the series and have high hopes that it will be even better than this one (i.e., fewer flaws and more laughs). HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!
Profile Image for Liviu.
2,496 reviews700 followers
July 23, 2014

This one is a hoot end to end due to its funny and snappy dialog. The action gets into slapstick farce once in a while but I did not care since I was too busy laughing out at line after line.

Captain Isambard Smith brave, dense and the only non-A student in his class, his sidekick alien head and body parts collector Suruk and a fugitive android sex toy that is much smarter than good looking get a crappy ship to pick up hippie new age herbalist Rhianna Mitchell from the neutral colony New Francisco before the evil, bent on Galaxy domination ant like aliens Ghast and their allies the religious fanatics of the Democratic Republic of Eden snatch her.

Commander 462 of the Ghast and Captain Gilead of Eden are fearsome enemies, a little more than a bit stupid of course though we cannot say Isambard is much smarter, but he outmatches them in bravery and when karma is with you there is very little you cannot accomplish.

Very funny in a smart way, I am looking forward to its sequel God Emperor of Didcot that is already out.



Profile Image for Mark.
243 reviews16 followers
May 15, 2013
Space Captain Smith has to be one of the best books I've found this year. It's a great, light-hearted read with genuinely funny dialog and amusing characters. Although a little light on the more serious elements, it has a solid storyline and setting that throws up so many memorable moments.

I don't think I can recommend this highly enough!
Profile Image for Paul.
723 reviews73 followers
November 16, 2010
In the 25th Century the British Space Empire faces the gathering menace of the evil ant-soldiers of the Ghast hive, hell-bent of galactic domination and the extermination of all humanoid life.

Back in the dim and distant past when I was at university, I was introduced to the scoundrel that is Harry Flashman. Created by George McDonald Fraser, in a series of books collectively known as The Flashman Papers, dear old Flashy rode rough shod over the 19th century leaving his imaginary mark over a plethora of genuine historic events. Flashman was written as a scoundrel, a cur, a cheat, a bounder, a thief and a coward. As I’m sure you can imagine I was immediately entranced by this self confessed anti-hero. So convincing and well researched were these novels some critics believed Flashman to be a real life historical figure.

To me, the language used in each novel was a constant delight. Phrases like “damn your eyes sir! I am a British officer” were a joy and I devoured every story I could get my hands on. The covers of each novel always displayed Flash as the very epitome of English Victorian gentleman. Flashman always appeared very dapper with a smirk or sneer dancing across his face.

Why then all this discussion of Flashman? When I first saw the cover of Space Captain Smith (Chronicles of Isambard Smith) by Toby Frost my eyes lit up. I started to wistfully daydream about what looked like Flashman in outer space. There was a definite similarity between the covers of the Flashman novels and Space Captain Smith. I felt this could only be considered a good omen. The idea of the British Empire in space sounded like a top notch idea. When I read the blurb on the back of the book I was again pleased to discover the main protagonist’s name, Isambard Smith. In my opinion any steampunk/sci-fi novel based on the concept of the British Empire in the 25th century requires that it meet the following criteria, firstly the lead should have a splendid moustache and secondly they should be named after one of Britain’s greatest civil engineers.

At first glance the character of Smith is similar to Flashman. Both embody the pomposity of Imperial Britain but are steadfast in their ideals. Smith, however, is much less the anti-hero than Flashman. Some of his ideas regarding women are a trifle archaic but this is played for laughs and he is nowhere near the cad that Flashman is. Smith stumbles around the galaxy and can’t understand why anyone would not want to be part of the Empire he loves. He comes across as a good natured ass that is always keen to do the ‘proper’ thing irrespective of the consequences.

Smith’s crew on the space freighter John Pym are also engaging characters. Polly Carveth, the ship’s pilot, is an android on the run. Her back story has a direct nod towards Blade Runner and the author obviously had a lot of fun writing that. The other member of the crew is Suruk a Predator like alien warrior who is overly keen on disembowelment and beheading.

‘This will be unpleasant,’ he said

‘Lots of enemies?’

‘Hideous decor’

The novel features a lot of this kind of banter. I felt that this back and forth between the characters helped to flesh out the meat of the narrative. The story has some genuinely funny moments and I found myself laughing out loud on a number of occasions. I should stress how rare an event this is when it comes to reading a novel, I often smile but don’t tend to laugh aloud. There are a lot of nice pop culture references and any novel that mentions Skegness gets an A+ as far as I am concerned.

Smith and his crew are tasked with escorting a young woman from one side of the galaxy to the other. Needless to say, there are various species that are not keen for them to accomplish their task. With enemies on all sides and nowhere left to turn, it’s up to Space Captain Smith to save the day.

There are currently two sequels available to this novel – God Emperor of Didcot (Chronicles of Isambard Smith) and Wrath of the Lemming-men (Chronicles of Isambard Smith 3). Based on my experience with Space Captain Smith I hope to check them out soon, and that there will be many more to come.
Profile Image for Riju Ganguly.
Author 36 books1,826 followers
June 19, 2024
After a really long time, I got to read a novel that's high on adventure WHILE inducing chuckles regularly. It’s so quintessentially British that others may either miss the stuff, or get offended.
Yes, it does get a bit murky at times with so many things happening to our protagonists. But the novel is emphatically and unapologetically clear in its stand vis-a-vis all sorts of prejudices, and here the author really shines through.
I loved the book. More importantly, I loved Smith and his team.
To the next adventure then. In the meanwhile, this one is highly recommended.
Profile Image for Stevie Finegan (SableCaught).
46 reviews291 followers
August 24, 2011
Click here to watch me talk about Toby Frost: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMHcz-...

Look! Do you know who that is? ...well obviously that one's me, I mean the one I'm standing next to! That, my friends is Toby Frost, author of Space Captain Smith, The God Emporer or Didcot and The Wrath of the Lemming Men.

If you haven't read his books yet, why? Absolutely the only excuse I will accept for you having not yet devoured these beauties is that there inexplicably appears to be a rather large alligator situated between you and the books and whenever you reach for said books it snaps at your outstretched appendage and you are forced to either withdraw your limb or give up your career as a pianist. That is the only excuse.

So let's look at Space Captain Smith, the first in the trilogy. One day, after what feels like an age of sitting on settees, Isambard Smith is asked to put down his cup of tea and finally captain a space ship once again. His exceptions are dashed somewhat, however, when he sees the space ship he has been put in charge of isn't a mighty dreadnought but instead resembles more closely a holey bucket. Together with his crew; Polly Carveth, a somewhat diminutive android who's claims of pilot-hood don't seem to be holding up; Suruk the Slayer, Smith's alien friend who likes to spend his spare time polishing his collection of skulls; and Gerald the Hamster; they set off on their mission - to pick up a health food saleswoman called Rhianna.

What would appear a routine journey, however, becomes something more pretty quickly. The Ghast empire, a meticulous army of giant insectivores, are keen to restart their war on the human race, only before they do they need Rhianna and the mysterious powers she possesses. On their journey through space the crew find themselves in numerous hairy situations. Smith must keep the ship from being devoured by void sharks, Carveth is being chased by a bounty hunter from her past and Suruk keeps trying to add to his collection - not to mention all the trouble Gerard the hamster gets up to.

This is an amazing story, brimming with self-conscious steampunk humour. The author, although firmly footed in a clockwork world of space travel is obviously very aware of the steampunk stereotypes and is not afraid to laugh at himself while using them. Characters are found carrying 'fob phones' and guns so large they can hardly stand beneath their weight and Isambard himself (an obvious tribute to Isambard Kingdom Brunel) is an amazing mix of space captain and 19th century 'man of the empire'.

The plot in this book is very strong, there is never a dull moment as you are swept from one problem to the next, but this book's real strength is in the relationships that quickly form between the characters. Suruk complaining that he didn't get to kill enough people over scones, Carveth constantly littering the air around her with accidental innuendoes and poor Captain Smith completely unable to detect advances from the women in his life.

I thought this book was brilliant, the humour very accessible, quite similar to the works of Jasper Fforde in the manner in which it utilised a mix of references to quaint and peculiar British-isms and then the completely odd and unusual. I really haven't encountered anything else quite like this book and upon putting it down the first thing I did was reach for the sequel. A must read for any steampunk fans, or for anyone who just appreciates a good laugh.

So, unless you are plagued by large reptiles, go get yourself a copy of Space Captain Smith, now.
Profile Image for Shannon .
1,219 reviews2,529 followers
June 1, 2009
It's the 25th century and the British Empire has gone galactic. It's one of a few powerful space empires, alongside the fanatical Republic of New Eden, the Devrin Corporation and its number one enemy, the Ghast empire - an empire of bug-like aliens who shout a lot.

Captain Isambard Smith, a somewhat pompous but daring Pom with an old-fashioned (i.e. Victorian) attitude towards women, is given a small, barely-there ship called John Pym and a crew of one simulant pilot who's really a sex toy on the run called Polly, his friend Suruk, an alien warrior who collects severed heads, and a hamster called Gerald.

His mission seems simple enough, if a bit odd: go to the hippy space colony of New Francisco to retrieve a new-age herbalist and pacifist, Rhianna Mitchell, and bring her back to the British-controlled planet of Midlight.

What he's not told, is that the Ghast Empire is also after Rhianna, and so are the New Eden zealots. Armed with a very fine moustache and a wariness for Frenchies, Captain Smith and his crew are all set to battle their way across the universe to make it home in time for tea.

I struggled with rating this one. On the one hand, it made me laugh quite frequently; on the other, it was a wee bit lacking. I'll come to that.

It reminded me a lot of Red Dwarf, a classic British sci-fi comedy show from the 90s. It has that same kind of inherent dagginess that makes it endearing and 80s-feeling, full of witty references to contemporary culture including the one joke about the Welsh language that they just can't resist. It also contains recognisable spoofs of other books and movies, such as the android bounty hunter and assassin, Rick Dreckitt who's sent after Polly and is a wonderful piss-take of Rick Deckard from Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?.

I felt quite at home reading this because of the humour and the contemporary references. It does launch straight into the story and characters and you never really get to know them beyond the scope of the plot. Who is Isambard Smith? What is his background? We don't really learn much about him aside from his personal characteristics and what happens to him here. Polly Carveth has only been "alive" for six months and we know exactly what her brief history is. Gerald the hamster is never explained, he simply lives in a cage on the floor of the control room and is mentioned about four times. How Suruk and Smith became friends isn't explained either - and I'm sure that must be an interesting story.

So it does leave you wondering. There are a few minor plot holes, mostly because a joke won over a detail that would have filled the hole but spoiled the joke. Or they were just plot holes. For a quick, funny read that could be an episode of Red Dwarf, this is a goodie. For something more in-depth and detailed, look elsewhere.
Profile Image for Alan.
1,243 reviews154 followers
October 23, 2010
What ho, mates! While it's uneven in tone and sometimes seems to be trying rather too hard, I ended up liking this rollicking space adventure starring the bold, if inept, Isambard Smith; his bloodthirsty boon companion Suruk; the ethereal Rhianna Mitchell; and double entendre-spewing ace pilot Polly Carveth (see what I did there?)—not to mention Gerald the hamster—as they represent a strangely resurgent British Empire—in spaaaace! It's a distorted snapshot of 19th-Century British sea power, translated wholesale into a rather crowded galaxy. There's no explanation within the text, of course, for just how ol' Blighty ended up as Earth's imperialistic, gun-toting ambassadors to the unfriendly stars; you just have to roll with it.

And it does roll on. The cover blurb slyly references Douglas Adams, of course, but that's not at all the vibe I got from this one... I'd compare it instead to the works of Tom Holt or A. Bertram Chandler—or, better still, to Keith Laumer, whose Retief stories shot similar barbs at bureaucracy and gunboat diplomacy and whose aliens (here, the antlike Ghasts) were similarly risible.

From the steampunk trappings of the engine room in the John Pym, Smith's ramshackle command, to the psychotic neo-Calvinist ramblings of the New Eden officer John Gilead, to the tofu-gnawing utopians of New Francisco, Toby Frost spares no target in his quest for the absurd. I also had fun picking out the thinly-veiled references to films like The Matrix and Star Wars, and other trappings of pop culture never mentioned by name but usually mocked in identifiable form.

As the plot lurches from implausible to preposterous, things actually get funnier. I'd have to second Amanda's recommendation on this one... don't expect too much from it, but this is a fun, light read.
Profile Image for Paul.
233 reviews11 followers
May 12, 2009
Comical steampunk space opera, this tale of Isambard Smith, scion of the British Empire, and his crew - an escaped sex toy and a head-collecting alien warrior - is far and away the funniest book I've read this year.

Parodies can often fall flat but, in this case, Toby Frost clearly knows and enjoys the genres he's poking fun at. So, even though the jokes come thick and fast - and are often laugh out loud funny - there is also a pretty solid plot underneath it all.

The heroes are also a well-rounded and likeable bunch and the villains - well, they're villains and all hysterically over the top.

The book is funny, smart, gripping and funny and packed with memorable moments. I'm looking forward to reading the sequel already.
Profile Image for Mohammed  Abdikhader  Firdhiye .
423 reviews7 followers
November 19, 2011
This book worked twofold for me, it worked really well as fun space adventure alà Firefly type story and it was comic cold as SF humor,parody. The very british humor was so funny to me, i laughed so much reading this. It was a pleasant surprise this book, it was better than i expected.

Second Empire Captain Isambard Smith cracked me up good and he was pretty formidable in battle when he had to be. Same with Suruk his weird alien friend, their android pilot Carveth.
Profile Image for F.R..
Author 37 books221 followers
March 4, 2015
Fifth rate ‘Red Dwarf’, which basically translates as eighteenth rate ‘Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’. I can see what look like jokes on the page, but none of them are funny.

I picked it up as, from the cover, I hoped it might be like Flashman in space – but it lacks both the wit and intelligence to get anywhere near that ideal. If only there was some kind of phrase about misjudging books because of their covers, an adage like that would come in really handy.
Profile Image for T.I.M. James.
Author 1 book9 followers
February 2, 2013
Where do you begin to review a book like this? It's so much more than it appears!

On the most basic level it is a rip-roaring Science Fiction adventure that set a small crew on a rather small space ship against invading alien armies and evil human factions. But as I say that is the most basic level.

Not that I am overly familiar with the genre, but I would add the term steampunk to the mix. The descriptions of the workings of the spaceship give me that old world feel, and the whole thing, despite being set in the 26th Century seems to have an early Victorian feel.

But perhaps the most important thing, the most obvious thing about Space Captain Smith is that it is funny. In fact, not just funny but FUNNY. This is a book that knows what it wants to do and does not hold back. It hits you around the jowls with a laughing stick and does not let up until you finish. It's not something you read for a few pages and wait for the next laugh to come, the next laugh is backing into the one before, causing a pile-up of humour that is an unexpected delight.

And it is not just one type of humour, I cannot even quantify the different types used, but it ranges from subtle sly comments that make you nod knowingly, a subtle wink, followed by a comment that can only lead to a belly laugh. There are smutty references, innuendos, in your face, subtle, satire, pastiche - there is a running plot lifted from Blade Runner that could be called a highlight of the book, only the whole novel is a highlight.

This future where Earth has spread into space, diversified into different sub-types of humanity is reminiscent of Gordon R Dickson's Dorsai novels; but taken in different directions. Whatever wars and events have happened that have caused this seem to have either reset the British back to the time of Empire, or an alternative reality where it never fell. Whatever it might be it is a minefield for nonstop laughs.

And don't even get me started on the Aliens the Ghast - just another brilliant creation that works...

In with all this there is some nice observations too. There is a moment when aliens we see as barbaric discuss humanity and we see things from the opposite angle. It is only a line or two but an eye opener.

I could go on and on about how entertaining Frost's debut is, but the fact that I read it in under a week should be all you need to know - especially when you study my recent reading pace.

Go on, read it. If you need a distraction, if you want a laugh, this one should do it for you.
Profile Image for Bryan457.
1,562 reviews26 followers
September 15, 2011
A rollicking adventure set in a future British (space) Empire. It has a flavor very similar to A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Here we see Captain Isambard Smith, Suave, cultured ladies man, as he tries to romance a woman with dinner and music:
"'I really appreciate this' Rhianna said, before Smith brought the food to the table. 'It's very kind of you. What are these pink floating things?'
'Ah,' said Smith, 'Special recipe. All completely without meat. You see, what you've got floating there is synthetic synthetic ham. We usually get given synthetic ham to eat, which contains ham extract and we spacefarers shortened to Sham. But this is synthetic Sham, which doesn't even contain any synthetic ham and which the company used to call Sham Light but don't any more because we shortened it to Shite. It's not really shite, actually,' he added, feeling that this explanation had ended on a weak note. 'Well, it's not got any meat in it, anyway.'
Smith frowned. 'I tell you what, let's have some music, shall we.?'
He crossed to the cassette player at the rear of the room, and selected one. 'You might not have heard this before,' he said, activating the machine. 'It's by Mozart, a historical British chap.'
'Mozart, British? Wasn't he from Vienna?'
Smith frowned, 'I don't think so. He was English, Mozart.'
Rhianna grinned. 'You mean Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?'
'That's the one. English to the core. Take "Piano Concerto 21", for instance. Or "The Requiem". He wouldn't have given them English names if he wasn't from England.'
Rhianna put her hand across her mouth and gave a small snorting laugh. 'How about "Eine Kleine Nacht Musik"?'
'Well, he had to give it a German title. It was written for a German, you see. For Elise.'"
Profile Image for Melissa.
375 reviews7 followers
September 12, 2017
See my other reviews at Never Enough Books

In the 25th Century, the British Space Empire is facing the Ghast Empire - evil ant soldiers bent on domination and extermination of all humanoid life.

Captain Isambard Smith is the dashing, courageous, and somewhat idiotic commander of the light freighter John Pym; destined to take on the Ghast because no one else is available. Together with his bold crew—a skull-collecting alien lunatic, an android pilot who is actually a fugitive sex toy, and a hamster called Gerald—he must collect new-age herbalist Rhianna Mitchell from the laid back New Francisco orbiter and bring her back to safety in the Empire. It seems simple enough, except the Ghasts want her too.

If he is to get back to Blighty alive, Smith must defeat void sharks, a universe-weary android assassin, and John Gilead, psychopathic naval officer from the fanatically religious Republic of New Eden before facing his greatest enemy: a ruthless alien warlord with a very large behind.

I will admit right now that I loved Space Captain Smith. I have been a fan of the sci-fi genre for a very long time. Having read and watched numerous movies and series, Space Captain Smith joins a hallowed crew in my heart.

At times glorious at others campy, it is like Frost took all the best of the most beloved sci-fi series and threw them in a blender. As I read I noticed nods to Star Trek, Blade Runner, the Matrix, Predator, and even I think a bit of Firefly.

This was a fun read, enjoyable to see the worlds we know so well turned on their ear. Fans of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett will likely enjoy this book. Fans of science fiction and comedy in general will adore this book. I know I certainly did.
Profile Image for Seizure Romero.
508 reviews172 followers
June 26, 2010
The characters here are Suruk, a M'Lak, described as "about six foot eight with a face like a cross between a boar and an upturned crab" (basically, the badass from the 'Predator' movies); and Rhianna, a human hippie-chick:

For no obvious reason, Suruk had pushed almost all of a beer bottle into his mouth. "Humans are stupid," he declared, pulling it out. "Petty prejudice does not interest my people. A wise warrior once told me: 'Respect your brother M'Lak, no matter what shade of greenish-grey he may be'"

"Those are beautiful words, Suruk," Rhianna said.

"-- 'Then, while various races of stupid human are fighting one another, you can steal their goods. And cut off their ridiculous little heads. And laugh. In their blood.'"

"Those words are also" -- she groped for the right word -- "honest."

Suruk shrugged. "Many colors of skin are there, many different shades of face. But if you look within, deep inside a person, human beings are all alike. Red and squelchy." (P.131)
569 reviews14 followers
May 10, 2016
A tongue in cheek, wisecracking space opera. At times it tries teaching about the cruelty of prejudism, but then throws it right back into comedic relief. Quite the adventure riding along with Isambard Smith and his side-kicks, an interesting set of characters. Although the story felt at times a bit disjointed, I still enjoyed it enough to continue further with this series.
Profile Image for Scott S..
1,397 reviews29 followers
October 9, 2014
Cheesy comedy, very British

Didn't think I was going to like it at first, but the characters and shtick quickly grew on me. The story is entertaining and the humor would occasionally catch me off guard, causing me to laugh out loud.
6 reviews1 follower
October 18, 2008
Toby Foster is well worth reading, this is chap fictionat its best.
Profile Image for Marielle Evans.
Author 2 books2 followers
January 7, 2025
I had the 'sensible chuckle' meme in my head throughout reading this book. Fun space romp that is incredibly silly and full of puns and larger than life characters. Reads like it should be adapted for screen. Keen to give the sequels a read.
Profile Image for Daniel Shellenbarger.
515 reviews19 followers
July 26, 2017
Space Captain Smith is (in a word) irreverent. It giddily steals inspiration from a plethora of pop culture sources (Blade Runner, Predator, War of the Worlds, Deliverance, Firefly, and the Matrix among many others) and mixes it all together in a rip-roaring space adventure. The eponymous Captain Isambard Smith is an unapologetic imperialist and hater of all things foreign out to see humanity (in general) and the 2nd British Empire (in particular) protected against the hordes of unwashed alien scum (and even more so the damned French); unfortunately for Smith he's also rather unremarkable as a person and has been stuck in a corporate desk job for several years when he's given the opportunity to finally get a ship of his own, the John Pym, and a mission to transport a young woman (a health food store owner) off of the independent/pacifist hippie world of New Francisco (soon to be invaded by the alien Ghast) to the Imperial colony of Midlight. Of course, as it turns out the Pym is only barely spaceworthy, unarmed, and piloted by a simulant (artificially created human) sex toy (with forged piloting credentials) on the run from her rather disturbed maker and the mission involves a great deal more danger than Smith was led to believe, including everything from Ghast stormtroopers to crazed apocalyptic dystopian cultists. Fortunately, Captain Smith isn't the sort to let a little thing like hopeless odds stop him, not when he's survived Public School and has his head-hunting alien friend Suruk (*cough* Predator *cough*) at his side. I had a lot of fun reading this book, Frost has an excellent touch at parody (the Matrix section was a particular favorite) with some hilarious writing that wouldn't be out of place in Monty Python (and as usual with British parody, a bit on the crass side at times), but at the same time he creates an entertaining cast of characters and manages to have an interesting story.
Profile Image for Richard Denning.
Author 23 books50 followers
November 15, 2010
When I started reading this Sci Fi novel I took a while to get into it. I was expecting a heroic tale of daring do set in a future British Space Empire – a sort of Space 1899 type adventure. And in a way that is what I got. We have a future world where the nations have spread out into space and the UK has carved out its chunk of territory very much like the 19th century expansion of the empire under Victoria.

However whilst that is the type of background world Toby Frost has created the style of this book is a comedy. We Brits have carried with us stiff upper lips, cold showers, traditions and tea. The hero, Captain smith has a crew consisting of a sex mad android pilot and a blood thirsty warrior alien who collects his victims skulls.

The story is actually pretty straight forward – alien race who want to wipe out humanity are after the passenger on Captain Smith’s ship for reasons it is best to read the book to find out.The crew get into a series of adventures before winning the day.

As a story it is nothing that special but the humour is entertaining and the banter between the crew amusing and at times laugh out loud funny. It is a light read and whilst maybe rating say not more than 3.5 to 4 stars out of 5 (in my opinion) I would be up for a sequel.
Profile Image for Cindy Matthews.
Author 21 books44 followers
February 21, 2013
If you're looking for a good time sf/fantasy read without a lot of heavy thinking involved, look no further than to Toby Frost's Space Captain Smith. The first of a series, Isambard Smith's saga is full of farce and fun, puns and double entendre galore. Smith longs for a space command but when he's given a spaceship (from the bottom of the heap of course) and a female simulant pilot named Pollyanna (with a very shady past), he chooses to take along his head-hunting warrior alien friend Suruk for back up. Wise plan it is, too, as those nasty space ants, The Ghast, want his passenger, space hippy Rhianna, for their own evil purposes to dominate the galaxy. Fortunately for Captain Smith even though Rhianna is a pacifist she's got her own special means of self-preservation. For those who think the sun never set on the British Empire--instead it headed for the stars and did its best to "civilize" the rest of the universe with tea and handlebar moustaches--the Space Captain Smith series will provide just the right amount of comedy, adventure, and "moral fibre" to entertain. So...how about a cuppa?
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