Sparrow

by Sarah Moon

Sparrow has always had a difficult time making friends. She would always rather have stayed home on the weekends with her mother, an affluent IT Executive at a Brooklyn bank, reading, or watching the birds, than playing with other kids. And that's made school a lonely experience for her. It's made LIFE a lonely experience.

But when the one teacher who really understood her -- Mrs. Wexler, the school librarian, a woman who let her eat her lunch in the library office rather than hide in a bathroom stall, a woman who shared her passion for novels and knew just the ones she'd love -- is killed in a freak car accident, Sparrow's world unravels and she's found on the roof of her school in an apparent suicide attempt.

With the help of an insightful therapist, Sparrow finally reveals the truth of her inner life. And it's here that she discovers an outlet in Rock & Roll music...

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Mental Health, Realistic Fiction, Fiction, Middle Grade, Music

272 pages, Hardcover

First published October 10, 2017

About the author

Sarah Moon is a teacher, writer, and translator. She lives and works in Brooklyn, New York.

Reviews

[jv poore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I never imagined that anyone could capture, then convey the desperate isolation of an outsider-always-looking-in. Ms. Moon makes it so real that one evening while reading, my eyes were all leaky and my nose wouldn’t stop sniffling. My husband asked if it was the pollen or a really sad book. It was not the pollen.

Which is not to say that Sparrow is dreary or depressing. We just meet Sparrow at a tough time.

Accepting that she will never fit in with other students, staying under the radar of teachers and staff; Sparrow has developed her very own coping mechanism. It is a soul-soothing, secret escape. Private, because there’s no way anyone would ever understand. Or even believe.

So, when Sparrow was discovered on the roof of the school and all assumptions were grossly inaccurate, the wrong question being asked, it was no surprise. But it didn’t matter, she couldn’t answer anyway.

Sparrow’s mom is fiercely strong, capable and confident. And surprisingly willing to set aside her initial reservations about therapy. Even after meeting the not-as-pictured Dr. Katz and her interesting attire. In spite of the funky shoes, Sparrow could be cold and aloof towards Dr. Katz. It was much harder pretending to ignore the music that punctured the silence. Songs articulated her thoughts. Rough voices relayed her pain.

Sparrow felt her problems were solved, finding and embracing artists that understood. But listening to music was just the tip of the iceberg. With the enthusiastic support of her therapist, the determined, albeit a bit dubious, backing of her mother; Sparrow sets off for the Gertrude Nix Rock Camp for Girls.

Tackling a topic so commonly experienced, yet rarely addressed; Ms. Moon elicits empathy in an eloquent, engaging way.


This review was written for Buried Under Books by jv poore.

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

"That's when I saw them, a handful of kids scattered around the library on rugs, lying in pairs or off in a corner by themselves on a mat, piles of books beside them. It was the first time I ever wanted to join anything."

"I keep waiting to feel ready to get up, and then it hits me—I'm not going to be ready. I'm going to have to do this without being ready."

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing. Gorgeous. Painful. Wonderful debut. Only reason it wasn’t 5 stars was because the music camp was a little deus ex machina for me- a little too convenient. But otherwise absolutely stellar. The narration and the characters were incredibly good. Including one of the best fictional therapists ever. I fell in love with Sparrow immediately and felt a strong connection to her 15 year old angst. Hope Moon writes more-I’ll be first in line. Turns out she’s the author Amy Bloom’s daughter. Thanks to the ALA annual YALSA list for this rec.

[Irene · Rating 4 out of 5]

De 14-jarige Merel wordt van het dak van haar school geplukt. Waarom? Ze weigert hierover te praten. Merel was tevreden met haar overzichtelijke leven. Thuis was het fijn bij haar moeder, ze las veel, keek veel naar vogels en droomde van vliegen. School was te doen zolang ze uit de buurt bleef van haar klasgenoten. Haar wereld wordt op haar kop gezet door een onverwachte gebeurtenis.
Langzaam komt Merel er achter, met hulp van haar psycholoog dokter Katz, dat er ook een muzikale manier is om haar vleugels uit te slaan.

Het verhaal begint als Merel in het ziekenhuis ligt. Ze wilde geen zelfmoord plegen, maar wat ze daar wel deed is dan nog de vraag. Merel wil het in ieder geval nog niet vertellen. In de loop van het verhaal krijg ik antwoord op mijn vragen, maar blijkt het niet zomaar iets te zijn. Er is meer aan de hand, al langer. Een verlegen meisje met angsten op sociaal gebied. Deze angsten voelde ik als lezer en ik hoopte van harte dat het beter met haar zou gaan en ze hulp zou accepteren. En dat doet ze. Wanneer Merel sprongen maakte kon ik een glimlach niet onderdrukken.

In eerste instantie wil Merel geen hulp, want ze denkt dat iedereen haar gek of krankzinnig vindt. Maar dokter Katz denkt daar anders over, een verklaring die niet alleen voor Merel van toepassing is. “We zoeken een manier om overweg te kunnen met de waanzin om ons heen. Soms ontdek je en manier waardoor je je nog gekker voelt, ook al voel je je er veiliger door. Behoefte hebben aan veiligheid is menselijk; het betekent niet dat je gek bent.”

Via dokter Katz leert ze ook nieuwe muziek kennen. Muziek helpt haar op een positieve manier, net zoals dokter Katz dat doet. “Ergens heel, heel diep vanbinnen begint er iets te ontdooien. Iets waarvan ik niet eens wist dat het bevroren was.”
Merel durft zelfs te denken aan een muziekkamp van vier weken lang. Merel is dapper, want ze gaat naar het kamp ondanks dat ze het eng vindt, probeert nieuwe dingen en slaat haar vleugels uit.

Mede door de zeer prettige schrijfstijl greep dit verhaal mij en liet het mij niet meer los. Daarnaast wordt Merel krachtig neergezet als een kritische observator met humor. Elk vrij moment las ik, want ik gunde Merel een hartverwarmende toekomst waarin het beter met haar zou gaan.
Ergens las ik dat het verhaal teveel in zou gaan op haar angsten en dat dit resulteerde in langdradige passages en gezochte clichés, maar deze ben ik niet tegengekomen. Ik denk dat bepaalde delen van dit verhaal herkenbaar kunnen zijn voor leeftijdsgenoten van Merel.
Ik vond het een erg goed geschreven boek en ben benieuwd naar het toekomstige werk van deze auteur.

Dit boek laat goed zien hoe mensen kunnen zijn achter hun opgetrokken muren. Achter een stil iemand kan een prachtig persoon schuilgaan. We kunnen wel oordelen over een ander, maar een vooroordeel is lang niet altijd waar.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review posted on https://lauriesbookshelf.com
A few months ago I stumbled upon the book Sparrow by Sarah Moon. I was not that sure whether I wanted to read it, but decided to give it a go. On the other hand, Circe by Madeline Miller has been on my tBR for more than a year. Two totally different books, but I will bring them together in this mini-reviews post.







Sparrow by Sarah Moon



Representation: social anxiety Trigger warnings: an attempt to commit suicide







To be honest, I had difficulties getting used to the timeline, it took me a while before I could get the hang of it. However, when continuing reading, I really noticed Sparrow's growth and how she managed to live with her social anxiety. This book is more middle-grade than young adult, but it fits both age ranges well.



Circe by Madeline Miller







This book has been on my TBR for more than a year. I finallly picked it up and I'm glad I did. It's an easy book to read, despite the many many names of Greek gods. I still can't remember them, but that was already the case back in school, so no surprises there. I managed to finish this book in a few days and I actually have nothing to say about it.
This review was originally posted on Laurie's Bookshelf

[Maddie · Rating 2 out of 5]

| 2.5 Stars| Ages 12+| Juvenile/New YA|

I wish I could say that I wasn't forcing myself to read this but that would be a lie. From the very beginning, I knew I wasn't going to like the MC, Sparrow. I tried to push through in hopes that she would get better and the book would pick up, but it never happened. If anything, I hate the MC more and despise the storyline with my whole soul.

[t o m (T.J. Reads the Stars) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a really hard time with this one. If the initial premise itself weren’t cliché enough, the execution fell into the trap of romanticising mental illness to the point where it didn’t properly address Sparrow’s depression and anxiety at all. The writing too felt really one-dimensional and fake-deep and in the end, everything fell flat for me. So yeah... not my favourite read by any stretch of the imagination. Such a shame.

“This is where I want to be. Not up, not down, but right here where my feet are.”
- Sparrow Cooke

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful cover for a beautiful story.

Warning - it starts out slow and you're not sure you're going to get out of Sparrow's funk. But ultimately, this is a beautiful story of a young girl's navigation from fear and walling up to life.

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read in an afternoon and I absolutely loved it. Sparrow deals with tough topics regarding mental health, but it is perfectly balanced with the main character's wit and candor. A must-have for upper middle school and high school book shelves.

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a ride.
I cried a whole fucking lot but holy shit this book was good.

[Read InAGarden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sparrow is the quiet, shy kid we all know. Instead of being present for the cutting remarks of classmates, she imagines that she flies away with birds. After being labeled as a suicide risk, Sparrow must learn how to navigate her social anxiety without escaping reality. An introspective and well written book.

[Suzi!!! · Rating 4 out of 5]

MY Summary of the book:
SPARROW was found on the ledge of the roof of her school. She says she wasn't going to kill herself, but then what was she going to do? She won't say. After being released from the hospital and as she is forced to go to school again, she tries to repeat what she tried to do on the roof; she's been doing it for years. But it isn't suicide. No, it's a way to escape middle school and the terribleness that comes with being excruciatingly shy and a total bookworm.

Sparrow is such a wonderful book. Every page screams of Sparrow's loneliness and anxiety in a way that is intimate and real. It later shifts into a tale of heartwarming transformation and growth. Many different friendships and themes about friendships take place. Music is also a significant presence. Sparrow's mom and her therapist are very big characters in the book. As I mentioned, Sparrow is a bookworm. So, there were many places where she'd drop the title of a book I'd read and I'd freak out. Some of these books were Out of My Mind, The Book Thief, and The Fault in Our Stars, a.k.a. three books that I'm in love with. She also mentioned some on my TBR that have become gone higher on the list of priorites, like The Perks of Being a Wallflower and An Abundance of Katherines. The main character, Sparrow, is hilarious at times, and some things in this book will speak to everyone.

Sparrow on cafeterias: Tables filling up with girls who are chatting, smiling, finding a place because they know where to go. It's like everyone got a map, but me.
Sparrow on singing together: I'm singing along. I'm singing at the top of my lungs. So is everyone else. I'm just one more happy, shouting voice, we're like waves in the ocean, one on top of another, impossible, to tell apart.
And this part gives me pure happiness:
Ty comes up to me.
"You know I don't dance," I say.
"Mmmhmm," taking my hand and turning me under his arm. "Oh, look. . .that's called dancing!"

There were also some things I didn't like, though. This was advertised to me as a YA book, but it felt entirely like Middle Grade. That isn't really a problem; this book being Middle Grade didn't take away my enjoyment of it. I just kind of feel like I was lied to. Also, minor spoiler, there's this part where Sparrow has to help with a school talent show, and the entire process takes up a total of about 4 pages. I feel like the author could've put so much more detail into that. I love backstage. I think if she'd included more about Sparrow's experience, I would've liked this book that much more. However, I'm aware that maybe the talent show wasn't much of a significant part in the book to the author, so she didn't elaborate on it.

Overall, I highly enjoyed this book and will be recommending it to many people the minute I click Save.

[D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I don't want to say too much about it, because I think this is the sort of book that is best experienced without many expectations or information about it.

So, in vague terms, this is the story of a girl sent to see a therapist after a perceived suicide attempt. It follows her journey of self-discovery and fills in the backstory of what led up to her attempt (which she denies as actually being an attempt.)

But it's also about much more than that. It's about the power of literature and music. It's about family and friendship. It's about trying, failing, and trying again. It's a wonderfully diverse and inclusive book, too, in all the best ways.

Really, really worth reading, especially for middle school and high school readers. (But hey, I'm a middle-aged guy and I loved it, so it's clearly got a broad appeal!)

[Samantha Lizzio · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a beautiful debut. I felt Sparrows pain throughout the pages and I could definitely tell the author cares so much for her main character and may have had similar experiences as Sparrow. I enjoyed reading through Sparrow's therapy sessions; I felt Sarah captured what it's like to begin going to weekly talk therapy sessions especially when you've just started to feel like your mind needs a little help.

As someone with a mental illness, I am pleased more authors are having the courage to write about anxiety, depression, mania and more. It's a nice token of warm comfort to read about a character that is far from perfect and feels the same insecurities you have felt.

I had the pleasure of meeting Sarah Moon at a YA event and I'm excited to read her future work.

[EJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really well done. Hit hard on some hard hitting issues and really struck home in a lot of places. Very realistic recovery and I loved loved loved Sparrow's descriptions of people, especially Doctor Katz.

[Kathy Mathey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an important book ~ introspective, courageous, and timely.

[Evelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

it was a really inspiring story about finding your voice and being yourself. i really liked this book and i would recommend it if you don't mind crying when your reading.... ;)

[Maria (a) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can not put into words how much this book spoke to me, how much I felt *seen*, and how heartbreaking and uplifting it was.

[PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 STARS

Sparrow ends up in therapy with Dr Katz after standing on the ledge of the roof of her school following the death of her librarian and friend Mrs. Wexler. Friendless, anxious and painfully shy, Sparrow is endanger of failing eighth-grade if she doesn’t begin to engage in life. Dr Katz slowly reaches Sparrow through music.

SPARROW is one of those mental health books with positive attributes like beautiful writing and positive representation of therapy that’s unfortunately outweighed by romancing mental illness without accountability.

Narrator Sparrow suffers from a case of terminal uniqueness that no one mentions to her until well into the book. Like most eighth graders, even the popular ones, she feels awkward and different. Though shyer then most, neither Mrs Wexler nor Sparrow’s mother nor Dr Katz nor her favorite teacher Ms Smith lets Sparrow know everyone struggles. Nobody asks her how they think others perceive her behavior or questions whether the classmates she shuns might think Sparrow doesn’t like her. And it’s a darn shame for Sparrow the character and SPARROW the book.

SPARROW will appeal to shy, anxious and depressed kids and my concern is that they see how hard everyone tries to save her. The idea of a therapist or caring teacher trying so hard to read the mind of a silent child, knowing what she needs and pulling it out isn’t the reality of how kids in Sparrow’s situation receive help and heal. It’s the stuff of fiction and drama. If Sparrows are reading SPARROW hoping to be saved, they’ll be disappointed.

I enjoyed reading SPARROW, although at times Sarah Moon’s words slowed to a barely moving pace. #SPARROW will appeal to a smaller audience than most upper middle grade, lower ages young adult audiences, but those who enjoy the book will probably love it, though I would only recommend to a select number of clients in the right head space.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid 3.5! Who names their kid Sparrow? In a way it’s fitting because when she was born, she was tiny and brown. But if destiny is in a name, then this child was born to fly, no, make that soar.

And so, Sparrow’s story is both sad and uplifting all at once.

She’s singular in that she likes to be alone, kind of like birds. Those moments when she imagines flying are pure and beautiful.

But life is on the ground, and getting Sparrow to see that is a feat in itself.

This book had so many contrasts for me as the reader, and so I was both frustrated and encouraged.

I thought the title should be Finding Sparrow because, along with therapy, it took a journey to rock camp for her to discover who she is and can be.

———
#2018 popsugar challenge — a book with an animal in the title (does a bird count?!)

[Elle (ellexamines on TT & Substack)]

I might actually put this on hold soon because I am so not in the mood for dark contemporary, but if you're in the mood for dark contemporary that's vaguely middle grade / YA, please pick this up. I'm 60 pages in and it's quite well-done.

[Megan Breon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book took a little while for me to really get into it but once your in, your in.This book is a great one that really helps to show what teenagers really go through. Its a great book about a girl named Sparrow trying to find herself, and things that make her happy

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great story that I could relate to more than I thought! A young girl who has always hid within herself, never making friends. A great story for anyone, but especially a shy person who is trying to find their place in this mess of a world.

[Lydia · Rating 4 out of 5]

It me.

Ok, not totally, but every time Sparrow explains why she can't talk, or tell her mom or therapist something, it resonated with me. What a great book. What a brave book.

[lj ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to miss this. I don’t want to spend the last day hiding from the people who make my heart hurt with how much they give me.”

~ First Impression ~

Whoa. That was so intimate, I felt like I was with Sparrow, I felt like I was Sparrow. Whoa. It's jarring to get pulled out of another world that is still our own, back into the real one. I'm probably making no sense right now. Whoa.

~ Stats ~

Title: Sparrow
Author: Sarah Moon
Genre: Straddling MG and YA, contemporary
Age Recommendation: 11+ (Due to discussion of suicide and occasional swearing)

~ Characters ~

Sparrow Cooke is the protagonist of this story. She's going through a lot when we meet her, and she's withdrawing even more into herself than she usually does. She's painfully, painfully shy, to the point where she probably has some form of anxiety, and loves her mom more than she can explain. She also loves to read. Sparrow has no friends (at least not anymore), hates talking to people, hates school, hates the noise of the cafeteria, and just wants out. She wants to get out, get up, get away...

And so she has a form of escape: she flies with the birds, or her mind does, at least, and that makes her life bearable.

Until she can't anymore.

I felt for Sparrow, so deeply. I connected with her love of reading, and although I am not as anxious in social situations as she is, I understood her desire to be alone, or with as few people as possible, as I am an introvert.

Then there's Sparrow's mom. I loved her as a character. She's tough and strong and smart, but more like her daughter than she realizes. Her unwillingness to let go of Sparrow, her determination that she could help her daughter as much as anyone else, like a therapist, it was all sweet and authentic and sad. Sparrow and her mom's relationship was heartbreakingly real.

Leticia was annoying.

Through Sparrow's eyes, I came to love Mrs. Wexler, despite never meeting her in the present. Dr. Katz was cool. I liked how Sparrow eventually opened up -- both to Dr. Katz, and to people her own age. I'd come to love Sparrow so much that it made me happy when she was happy, it made me smile when she had a good interaction with someone.

I liked all the girls at the rock camp. Spike had a tough exterior but was really sweet and kind and encouraging. I loved Lara's defiance in the face of fatphobia. I loved Tanasia's and Sparrow's growing friendship, the rocky start and how it evened out, smoothing over wrinkles. I loved the counselors, too.

~ Plot ~

Sparrow is found on the roof of her school and put in the hospital. Nobody believes her when she tells them she wasn't going to jump. But the truth is, she really wasn't. She was waiting. Waiting for the birds.

With the help of an unconventional therapist, a camp flyer left behind by her school's librarian, Mrs. Wexler, who was killed in a freak car accident and was one of the few people who really understood her, and raw, true music, Sparrow sets out on a journey -- a journey to find herself. A journey to connect.

The plot, I'll admit, was a bit contrived at times. Spike's sore throat, the whole idea of Mrs. Wexler giving Sparrow the flyer despite Sparrow not even listening to rock music yet. But the authenticity of the characters carried it, carried it enough for me to suspend my disbelief and get lost in the joy and sorrow of the story.

~ Setting ~

The rock camp sounded fantastic! It was a realistic, contemporary setting, though, so I don't have much else to say on the topic of setting.

~ Style/Format ~

There was something about the first-person style that brought me so close to Sparrow. Her voice, her thoughts, it all came through intimately, and it connected me to her enough to keep turning pages late into the night. I couldn't stop reading. I just had to know what happened to Sparrow.

The writing style was concise and true to middle-school-speak, I believe. It's accessible to most readers -- not overly descriptive, with no unusually long words.

~ Theme ~

The themes were part of what helped shove so much emotion into a rather short book. This story was nothing if not emotional. Friendship. Connection. Music. Happiness. Grief. Bravery. It all wove together. It was beautiful.

~ General Thoughts ~

I would hand this book to anyone dealing with grief, or anxiety, or even just middle/high schoolit's powerful.

If you liked this book
A much lighter graphic novel about a painfully shy girl, albeit without grief or a fraught family relationship involved, is Invisible Emmie.
The Thing About Jellyfish is sad and sweet and actually quite close in thematic ideas and characters to this one: grief, friendship struggles, family problems, and a shy, quiet, nerdy girl protagonist.

"I'm feeling restless, reckless, like flying up at night and never coming down."

[Hanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dit boek heeft mij echt (een beetje weliswaar) geholpen om uit een donkere periode in mijn leven te komen en te beseffen dat het leven wel mooi kan zijn en dat je er gewoon het beste van moet maken.
“Het leven is een feestje, maar je moet zelf de slingers ophangen”


Zelfs als je het boek voor de tweede of voor de vierde (ja de vierde keer.... oepss:) ) leest blijft het goed!!

[kate. · Rating 3 out of 5]

not a light read, but it takes flight into a beautiful one.
this cover is just a GEM.
design + illustration 👏
dealing with mental health, extreme shyness/social anxiety, and feeling alive again. it was so different than any other book i've read! love the reps esp the therapist!! so good.
3.75 ⭐

[Safiya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Happy-sad

[Ella Tan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's is a good book. I recommend to read it. It's more for teens. I think that the sotry was very good.

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️