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To the Bridge
The case was closed, but for journalist Nancy Rommelmann, the mystery remained: What made a mother want to murder her own children?
On May 23, 2009, Amanda Stott-Smith drove to the middle of the Sellwood Bridge in Portland, Oregon, and dropped her two children into the Willamette River. Forty minutes later, rescuers found the body of four-year-old Eldon. Miraculously, his seven-year-old sister, Trinity, was saved. As the public cried out for blood, Amanda was arrested, convicted, and sentenced to thirty-five years in prison.
Embarking on a seven-year quest for the truth, Rommelmann traced the roots of Amanda’s fury and desperation through thousands of pages of records, withheld documents, meetings with lawyers and convicts, and interviews with friends and family who felt shocked, confused, and emotionally swindled by a woman whose entire life was now defined by an unspeakable crime. At the heart of that crime: a tempestuous marriage, a family on the fast track to self-destruction, and a myriad of secrets and lies as dark and turbulent as the Willamette River.
“In To the Bridge, Nancy Rommelmann takes what many consider the most unforgivable of crimes—a mother set on murdering her own children—and delivers something thoughtful and provocative: a deeply reported, sensitively told, all-too-relevant tragedy of addiction and codependency, toxic masculinity, and capricious justice. You won’t be able to look away—nor should any of us.” —Robert Kolker, New York Times bestselling author of Lost Girls: An Unsolved American Mystery
“How do you understand the not understandable and forgive the unforgivable? So asks one of the characters in this clear-eyed investigation into something we all turn away from. To the Bridge is a tour de force of both journalism and compassion, in the lineage of such masterpieces as In Cold Blood and The Executioner’s Song. Word by word, sentence by sentence, Rommelmann’s writing is that good. And so is her heart.” —Nick Flynn, PEN/Martha Albrand Award–winning author of Another Bullshit Night in Suck City
On May 23, 2009, Amanda Stott-Smith drove to the middle of the Sellwood Bridge in Portland, Oregon, and dropped her two children into the Willamette River. Forty minutes later, rescuers found the body of four-year-old Eldon. Miraculously, his seven-year-old sister, Trinity, was saved. As the public cried out for blood, Amanda was arrested, convicted, and sentenced to thirty-five years in prison.
Embarking on a seven-year quest for the truth, Rommelmann traced the roots of Amanda’s fury and desperation through thousands of pages of records, withheld documents, meetings with lawyers and convicts, and interviews with friends and family who felt shocked, confused, and emotionally swindled by a woman whose entire life was now defined by an unspeakable crime. At the heart of that crime: a tempestuous marriage, a family on the fast track to self-destruction, and a myriad of secrets and lies as dark and turbulent as the Willamette River.
“In To the Bridge, Nancy Rommelmann takes what many consider the most unforgivable of crimes—a mother set on murdering her own children—and delivers something thoughtful and provocative: a deeply reported, sensitively told, all-too-relevant tragedy of addiction and codependency, toxic masculinity, and capricious justice. You won’t be able to look away—nor should any of us.” —Robert Kolker, New York Times bestselling author of Lost Girls: An Unsolved American Mystery
“How do you understand the not understandable and forgive the unforgivable? So asks one of the characters in this clear-eyed investigation into something we all turn away from. To the Bridge is a tour de force of both journalism and compassion, in the lineage of such masterpieces as In Cold Blood and The Executioner’s Song. Word by word, sentence by sentence, Rommelmann’s writing is that good. And so is her heart.” —Nick Flynn, PEN/Martha Albrand Award–winning author of Another Bullshit Night in Suck City
303 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 1, 2018
4607 people are currently reading
6654 people want to read
About the author
Nancy Rommelmann
17 books108 followersNancy Rommelmann's latest books are FORTY BUCKS AND A DREAM: STORIES FROM LOS ANGELES and TO THE BRIDGE, a work of nonfiction about Amanda Stott-Smith, who dropped her two young children from a Portland bridge.
She writes the Substack MAKE MORE PIE and, with Sarah Hepola, cohosts the podcast SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM.
Rommelmann writes for The Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and Real Clear Investigations, among other publications.
Rommelmann lives in New York City
She writes the Substack MAKE MORE PIE and, with Sarah Hepola, cohosts the podcast SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM.
Rommelmann writes for The Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and Real Clear Investigations, among other publications.
Rommelmann lives in New York City
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 573 reviews
June 2, 2018
**Mild spoilers since it’s a true story and the outcome is public knowledge.**
Seven-year-old Trinity and her three-year-old brother Eldon’s mother Amanda threw them off a ninety-foot bridge. Trinity’s cries alerted near by residents who rescued her. Eldon did not survive. Amanda later plead guilty to aggravated murder and aggravated attempted murder to avoid the death penalty.
Journalist Nancy Rommelmann attempts to deconstruct what caused Amanda to kill gathering information from Amanda and her ex Jason’s family and friends, court filings and other interviews. Neither Jason nor Amanda spoke Rommelmann, though not for lack of trying. What she discovers is a marriage filled with alcohol, drugs, mental illness, sociopathy, abuse, neglect and personality disorders from both parties. My heart went out to Trinity and her half-brother Gavin. They lived surrounded by dysfunctional, selfish, narcissistic family with a few exceptions. Gavin’s bio father and stepmother were gems.
Because Rommelmann never spoke to Amanda, never got to ask her motive and surmises emotional abuse, mental illness, substance abuse and revenge. I found Amanda 90% unsympathetic due to her manipulation and narcissism. Even before she met Jason she left Gavin alone for days with friends.
Rommelmann seemed to blame Jason as much as Amanda. Jason was a despicable person, a horrible husband and father. He lied, stole, gaslighted and used people for his own advantage. I couldn’t find one redeeming quality about him. Even a close friend called Jason a sociopath, which is why I worried so much for Trinity after Amanda’s incarceration (not that she was much better of a parent).
I would have loved to read a psych report on Amanda, though to the best of my knowledge, she never had one. The biggest problem I had with TO THE BRIDGE was that Rommelmann didn’t have enough of a story to tell and this filled the book with minutiae that became repetitive. The important players in the story wouldn’t or couldn’t be interviewed so the story left me feeling meh.
One of the take home messages was that many family and friends could have or should have seen this marriage ending tragically. Don’t be afraid to call child protective services on family or friends if you’re concerned; you never want to ask yourself in hindsight what if I had made that call.
Seven-year-old Trinity and her three-year-old brother Eldon’s mother Amanda threw them off a ninety-foot bridge. Trinity’s cries alerted near by residents who rescued her. Eldon did not survive. Amanda later plead guilty to aggravated murder and aggravated attempted murder to avoid the death penalty.
Journalist Nancy Rommelmann attempts to deconstruct what caused Amanda to kill gathering information from Amanda and her ex Jason’s family and friends, court filings and other interviews. Neither Jason nor Amanda spoke Rommelmann, though not for lack of trying. What she discovers is a marriage filled with alcohol, drugs, mental illness, sociopathy, abuse, neglect and personality disorders from both parties. My heart went out to Trinity and her half-brother Gavin. They lived surrounded by dysfunctional, selfish, narcissistic family with a few exceptions. Gavin’s bio father and stepmother were gems.
Because Rommelmann never spoke to Amanda, never got to ask her motive and surmises emotional abuse, mental illness, substance abuse and revenge. I found Amanda 90% unsympathetic due to her manipulation and narcissism. Even before she met Jason she left Gavin alone for days with friends.
Rommelmann seemed to blame Jason as much as Amanda. Jason was a despicable person, a horrible husband and father. He lied, stole, gaslighted and used people for his own advantage. I couldn’t find one redeeming quality about him. Even a close friend called Jason a sociopath, which is why I worried so much for Trinity after Amanda’s incarceration (not that she was much better of a parent).
I would have loved to read a psych report on Amanda, though to the best of my knowledge, she never had one. The biggest problem I had with TO THE BRIDGE was that Rommelmann didn’t have enough of a story to tell and this filled the book with minutiae that became repetitive. The important players in the story wouldn’t or couldn’t be interviewed so the story left me feeling meh.
One of the take home messages was that many family and friends could have or should have seen this marriage ending tragically. Don’t be afraid to call child protective services on family or friends if you’re concerned; you never want to ask yourself in hindsight what if I had made that call.
June 3, 2018
Waste of Ink & Paper
There's not much in this book you can't find doing some Googling on the Internet. Heavy on reruns of already published information and devoid of anything new except for the author's opinions and a few quotes from the son of the murderer at the very end of the book. She pretty much glides right on past the two central issues of the story: domestic violence and related meth/drug abuse.
I've read true crime books for over 30 years, and this was the most mediocre book in the genre I've ever read. I recommend you get this one from your local library.
There's not much in this book you can't find doing some Googling on the Internet. Heavy on reruns of already published information and devoid of anything new except for the author's opinions and a few quotes from the son of the murderer at the very end of the book. She pretty much glides right on past the two central issues of the story: domestic violence and related meth/drug abuse.
I've read true crime books for over 30 years, and this was the most mediocre book in the genre I've ever read. I recommend you get this one from your local library.
February 3, 2024
The book starts with Amanda Stott-Smith, 31, throwing her two youngest kids off the Sellwood Bridge in Portland, Oregon on 23-May-2009. Trinity, 7, survived but 4-year-old Eldon did not. Heart-breaking. What had brought a mother to this place to do such a thing?
The author who is a reporter (you find out a bit later in the book) goes over events both before and after this heinous event. The break-up with her husband, Jason Smith, in June 2008 and her arrest and trial. It’s all very messy. The relationship and the book. The book flits all over the place so good luck trying to keep up on where you are. Intersperse that with other stories of women killers and I really didn’t know where in the story I ever was. One minute Amanda is in court, then she’s back in college, then her husband is on cocaine (is this before they broke up?) then it goes over other women killers. You can see that the author has done a lot of research looking into mothers that kill their children in America.
‘Ms. Smith said the reason she put the children in the water was to “end their suffering”’. The author states, ‘I needed to know: What suffering?’ This is when the book gets a little better. We are halfway through now. The author looks into the husband. He is a mess on drugs. Stealing from family and friends to get money. Then it is back to the different times once again. Oh boy.
I found this a little tough going if I am being honest. Trawling through the lives of two desperately unhinged characters was bad enough (Jason in and out of rehab, Amanda in and out of mental health clinics) but the confusing timelines certainly did not help. The conclusion, as it was, is also not clear.
The author who is a reporter (you find out a bit later in the book) goes over events both before and after this heinous event. The break-up with her husband, Jason Smith, in June 2008 and her arrest and trial. It’s all very messy. The relationship and the book. The book flits all over the place so good luck trying to keep up on where you are. Intersperse that with other stories of women killers and I really didn’t know where in the story I ever was. One minute Amanda is in court, then she’s back in college, then her husband is on cocaine (is this before they broke up?) then it goes over other women killers. You can see that the author has done a lot of research looking into mothers that kill their children in America.
‘Ms. Smith said the reason she put the children in the water was to “end their suffering”’. The author states, ‘I needed to know: What suffering?’ This is when the book gets a little better. We are halfway through now. The author looks into the husband. He is a mess on drugs. Stealing from family and friends to get money. Then it is back to the different times once again. Oh boy.
I found this a little tough going if I am being honest. Trawling through the lives of two desperately unhinged characters was bad enough (Jason in and out of rehab, Amanda in and out of mental health clinics) but the confusing timelines certainly did not help. The conclusion, as it was, is also not clear.
May 5, 2018
TO THE BRIDGE is stunning in its compassion and unrelenting reporting of what led Amanda Stott-Smith to drop her two young children from the Sellwood Bridge, killing her four-year-old son and seriously injuring her daughter, who miraculously survived.
I noticed that author Nick Flynn blurbs TO THE BRIDGE, placing the work alongside two highly impactful books, “In Cold Blood” and “Executioner’s Song.” The Mailer is remarkable in its toxic masculinity but also in the access he had to show a life, and how we got from there to here.
What Rommelmann's voice brings to this discussion is the flip side of the above stories and their collateral damage on women, on mothers, on families. (Interesting coincidence that Gary Gilmore was also from Portland.) With brilliant writing and incredible depth of reporting, TO THE BRIDGE is a book that hasn't been written before, one that is important to consider and one from which we should not look away.
I noticed that author Nick Flynn blurbs TO THE BRIDGE, placing the work alongside two highly impactful books, “In Cold Blood” and “Executioner’s Song.” The Mailer is remarkable in its toxic masculinity but also in the access he had to show a life, and how we got from there to here.
What Rommelmann's voice brings to this discussion is the flip side of the above stories and their collateral damage on women, on mothers, on families. (Interesting coincidence that Gary Gilmore was also from Portland.) With brilliant writing and incredible depth of reporting, TO THE BRIDGE is a book that hasn't been written before, one that is important to consider and one from which we should not look away.
June 13, 2018
This was a book I got for free as part of Amazon Prime's "free book" of the month. (I think this program is called Kindle First.) These books can be hit and miss. Sometimes you get a real gem, but often the books aren't so good. Unfortunately, that was the case with this book.
The book is about a case in Portland, Oregon where a mother dropped her two children off of a bridge in the middle of the night. One child survived ... the other drowned. The mother was arrested and ultimately put in jail for life for murder and attempted murder. The book attempts to examine and answer the question about why a mother would do this to her children.
I had a few problems with the book. The first problem was I didn't know who the author was or why she was writing this book. She never really "introduced" herself or gave her credentials. Along the way, I gathered she was a journalist (I'm still not sure of her affiliation -- if any) and she seems to have written other crime-related stories. However, I could never shake the feeling that she was just an interested person who took it upon herself to find out more about why a mother could possibly do such a thing to her children.
Going along with this feeling was the fact that she didn't get access to the principals of the story -- the mother, the father, key relatives, etc. Most didn't want to talk to her (understandable) so the book is cobbled together from interviews with lawyers, friends and some relatives but no one more directly involved with the case. She also got access to publicly available police reports and court documents and attended some of the court proceedings but I definitely felt like she was writing about this story from a distance. Because of this, you never really feel like you get much information or "answers" (not that there are answers to crimes like this). Mostly, it felt like a book written by a friend who got really into finding out about a crime and then telling you about it ad nauseum.
The book also felt repetitive. Although it was broken into three parts, I wasn't really sure what distinguishes the three parts. She revisits the night of the crime a few times, but I wasn't really sure why. Why not just write it once and do it really well? The whole structure of the book was a bit of a mystery to me. I kept thinking she was going to uncover some new information but that never really happened.
Honestly, this felt like it could have been a long-form magazine piece rather than a book. Plus I don't think the author was able to get enough information to justify writing a book. Nothing against the writing (which is fine) ... I just think the entire project was hampered by the author not having enough access and information.
The book is about a case in Portland, Oregon where a mother dropped her two children off of a bridge in the middle of the night. One child survived ... the other drowned. The mother was arrested and ultimately put in jail for life for murder and attempted murder. The book attempts to examine and answer the question about why a mother would do this to her children.
I had a few problems with the book. The first problem was I didn't know who the author was or why she was writing this book. She never really "introduced" herself or gave her credentials. Along the way, I gathered she was a journalist (I'm still not sure of her affiliation -- if any) and she seems to have written other crime-related stories. However, I could never shake the feeling that she was just an interested person who took it upon herself to find out more about why a mother could possibly do such a thing to her children.
Going along with this feeling was the fact that she didn't get access to the principals of the story -- the mother, the father, key relatives, etc. Most didn't want to talk to her (understandable) so the book is cobbled together from interviews with lawyers, friends and some relatives but no one more directly involved with the case. She also got access to publicly available police reports and court documents and attended some of the court proceedings but I definitely felt like she was writing about this story from a distance. Because of this, you never really feel like you get much information or "answers" (not that there are answers to crimes like this). Mostly, it felt like a book written by a friend who got really into finding out about a crime and then telling you about it ad nauseum.
The book also felt repetitive. Although it was broken into three parts, I wasn't really sure what distinguishes the three parts. She revisits the night of the crime a few times, but I wasn't really sure why. Why not just write it once and do it really well? The whole structure of the book was a bit of a mystery to me. I kept thinking she was going to uncover some new information but that never really happened.
Honestly, this felt like it could have been a long-form magazine piece rather than a book. Plus I don't think the author was able to get enough information to justify writing a book. Nothing against the writing (which is fine) ... I just think the entire project was hampered by the author not having enough access and information.
November 7, 2018
Review to come
May 15, 2019
I feel so sorry for the kids, and there are many of them, who have come up losers in the big parent lottery, but most kids don't have to pay with their lives even though they are affected all their lives. But there are those especially heinous situations where a child is murdered. And that's what happened here.
The mother in this story threw 2 of her 3 children off a bridge in the middle of the night. The author tries to find out why, tries to discover details beyond the headlines. And she does so, to some extent. There are no clear answers. Yes, she had a horrible husband whose behavior ultimately contributed to the tragedy. He sounds like a horrible human being who should never have had children. And the mother should never have had children. She was a selfish person who spiraled in a downward abyss of her own making.
There is quite a bit of information about possible motives, but there is no real answer. I wanted to understand this woman better, and I do to an extent, but this book did not cause me to forgive her for what she did.
The book, while interesting, did seem to me to have too much padding, with repetition of information. It also jumped around quite a bit, and some of the sentence structures were a bit unclear. It was still worth reading although it leaves me sad for the children and angry with the adults whose most important job was to protect them.
The mother in this story threw 2 of her 3 children off a bridge in the middle of the night. The author tries to find out why, tries to discover details beyond the headlines. And she does so, to some extent. There are no clear answers. Yes, she had a horrible husband whose behavior ultimately contributed to the tragedy. He sounds like a horrible human being who should never have had children. And the mother should never have had children. She was a selfish person who spiraled in a downward abyss of her own making.
There is quite a bit of information about possible motives, but there is no real answer. I wanted to understand this woman better, and I do to an extent, but this book did not cause me to forgive her for what she did.
The book, while interesting, did seem to me to have too much padding, with repetition of information. It also jumped around quite a bit, and some of the sentence structures were a bit unclear. It was still worth reading although it leaves me sad for the children and angry with the adults whose most important job was to protect them.
July 16, 2018
Disappointingly underwhelming.
Sadly the structure of this book didn’t work for me.
We started pretty quickly with the crime revelation, then seemed to be struggling to fill in the following chapters.
I found it was back and forth from friend to family member account to first person and back, quite confusing!
I began skim reading before the middle (never a good sign!) and gave up completely at 60% - easier to google it! I couldn’t see any information here that wasn’t easier to find on the internet.
A huge shame as I love true crime stories - this will not be a recommendation from me.
Sadly the structure of this book didn’t work for me.
We started pretty quickly with the crime revelation, then seemed to be struggling to fill in the following chapters.
I found it was back and forth from friend to family member account to first person and back, quite confusing!
I began skim reading before the middle (never a good sign!) and gave up completely at 60% - easier to google it! I couldn’t see any information here that wasn’t easier to find on the internet.
A huge shame as I love true crime stories - this will not be a recommendation from me.
February 21, 2019
A well-written book on an unspeakably sad crime...the events leading up to the night a mother threw her children off a bridge. This book is a thorough, evenhanded investigation into the destructive marriage and separation of a couple suffering from addiction and sociopathy, and the murder and devastation suffered by their children and families.
June 9, 2018
This was my Kindle First (or whatever they call it these days) choice for June. It's not often a true-crime book makes that list so I was delighted. I made a great choice. It's a fascinating tale and not one I'd heard of before. Many other cases that are similar were alluded to but I knew of them. (As an aside, I was pleased to see Mikal Gilmore referenced as I never see anyone mention his great book).
It's rare I feel a jot of sympathy for the criminal in any case but I did feel pretty sorry for Amanda. I think Jason was a pig and if anyone's to blame for this crime, I'd have him right up there as co-defendant, along with his interfering mother, who came across as a nasty piece of work, too. She enabled her idiot son's behaviour all his life and cheerfully lied on his behalf. What a family..... I noticed near the end that the author mentioned Trinity living someplace else and wondered about that as the author hasn't told us why. It was never clear to me the amount of charges Amanda had, either, and why.
I felt for all the kids involved as their lives were all pretty grim. I'm forever muttering under my breath that potential parents need assessing whether fit for purpose cos' this pair of prizes sure as hell weren't. I Googled the drugs referred to and it basically informed me that neither parent was capable of raising a child. I'm happy that Gavin has Chelsea in his life, who I thought was a star.
I did spot some mistakes, many being hyphens omitted.....rules oriented, custom made, grief stricken and some missed apostrophes as well and discernible is not spelt discernable, though it's a rare thing indeed for this to ever be spelt correctly for some strange reason. She also wrote viscous and not vicious, which I'm pretty sure is what she meant.
It's certainly very well-researched and I'll look out for more by this author.
It's rare I feel a jot of sympathy for the criminal in any case but I did feel pretty sorry for Amanda. I think Jason was a pig and if anyone's to blame for this crime, I'd have him right up there as co-defendant, along with his interfering mother, who came across as a nasty piece of work, too. She enabled her idiot son's behaviour all his life and cheerfully lied on his behalf. What a family..... I noticed near the end that the author mentioned Trinity living someplace else and wondered about that as the author hasn't told us why. It was never clear to me the amount of charges Amanda had, either, and why.
I felt for all the kids involved as their lives were all pretty grim. I'm forever muttering under my breath that potential parents need assessing whether fit for purpose cos' this pair of prizes sure as hell weren't. I Googled the drugs referred to and it basically informed me that neither parent was capable of raising a child. I'm happy that Gavin has Chelsea in his life, who I thought was a star.
I did spot some mistakes, many being hyphens omitted.....rules oriented, custom made, grief stricken and some missed apostrophes as well and discernible is not spelt discernable, though it's a rare thing indeed for this to ever be spelt correctly for some strange reason. She also wrote viscous and not vicious, which I'm pretty sure is what she meant.
It's certainly very well-researched and I'll look out for more by this author.
June 28, 2018
A difficult book - that is necessary
Many true crime books have an element of adventure to them. A mobster rises in the ranks, a serial killer is hunted by a detective.
To the Bridge by Nancy Rommelmann is not one of those books. There is no joy, no thrill, no happy ending.
I am reminded by Koba the Dread by Martin Amis - the biography of Stalin. There is no nobility in the tale, and all the reader does is root for someone to come along and prevent the antagonist from doing what they set out to do.
And yet there is a purpose to this book
Nancy Rommelmann looks straight into the eyes of pure evil, and asks why? Why could this happen? How did this happen?
This is not the Serial podcast - with twists and turns of evidence, but there are twists and turns. Namely, there is an onion of corruption beneath the antagonists motives, and the more you pull it back, the more disquieting it becomes.
In short - great tale. I am glad it is over - but thank Nancy Rommelmann for exploring this wretched path so the rest of us do not have to.
Oh - look out for her aside about the car dealer in the middle of the tale. It is an incredible insight.
In short - read this, but only if you are in the mood for such a subject! It is great!
Many true crime books have an element of adventure to them. A mobster rises in the ranks, a serial killer is hunted by a detective.
To the Bridge by Nancy Rommelmann is not one of those books. There is no joy, no thrill, no happy ending.
I am reminded by Koba the Dread by Martin Amis - the biography of Stalin. There is no nobility in the tale, and all the reader does is root for someone to come along and prevent the antagonist from doing what they set out to do.
And yet there is a purpose to this book
Nancy Rommelmann looks straight into the eyes of pure evil, and asks why? Why could this happen? How did this happen?
This is not the Serial podcast - with twists and turns of evidence, but there are twists and turns. Namely, there is an onion of corruption beneath the antagonists motives, and the more you pull it back, the more disquieting it becomes.
In short - great tale. I am glad it is over - but thank Nancy Rommelmann for exploring this wretched path so the rest of us do not have to.
Oh - look out for her aside about the car dealer in the middle of the tale. It is an incredible insight.
In short - read this, but only if you are in the mood for such a subject! It is great!
June 18, 2018
I would give this book a 3.5. I did find it interesting, but I felt the author went into too much details about things that had nothing to do with the story, but rather with the author’s own life. Despite that, there was a lot to like about this book. I felt that she described the lives of all involved. I really liked when she explained about sociopaths. She also explored a little about how society reacts to this kind of crime differently when a father commits this crime or when a mother does.
It’s hard to understand how any person could kill another human being let alone your own child. I think the grandmother said it perfectly that Amanda did it, deserves to be in jail but you have to look how she got to that point.
I chose this book for the June Amazon prime pick and was free.
It’s hard to understand how any person could kill another human being let alone your own child. I think the grandmother said it perfectly that Amanda did it, deserves to be in jail but you have to look how she got to that point.
I chose this book for the June Amazon prime pick and was free.
August 10, 2018
This book is heavy. It is dealing with the darkness of a mother killing her child(ren). It also tries to explain how she got to that level of despair. The writing is thoughtful and without too much condemnation. Rommelmann is working through it all with the reader.
March 25, 2020
3.5
This book was well written but lacked a cohesive structure - in terms of chapters & timeline. I found some answers but ended up wanting more.
This book was well written but lacked a cohesive structure - in terms of chapters & timeline. I found some answers but ended up wanting more.
August 22, 2018
Another person who got this through Amazon's First Reads.
What's good:
- Occasional compelling narrative of the the toxic relationship between the couple and account of the crime and rescue.
What's not so good:
- Unfortunately too much. The author just places herself throughout the story. The word I is on each page, and she plants herself into every interview and every place. She's not part of the story, has no relationship to the crime, nor the participants, and in a true crime story should be the objective (and silent) observer.
- She doesn't get to interview any important people in the story. With few exceptions, the only background she can get on the participants is from people who knew Amanda (mother who murdered) 10 or even 15 years ago. She spends time in the book talking to someone who spoke with Amanda for 10 minutes filling out an interview for a job.
- Even the few main participants she gets to interview do not add to the story. Amanda's lawyer won't talk about the case to the author, yet there are pages and pages of details of *another* case that he worked on, which, yes, has nothing to do with a parent killing their children.
- The structure of the book is jumbled and poorly edited. The crime is recounted several times, periods in Amanda's life are described not in some sort of order, but almost in the order of the people who were interviewed (e.g. college friends from 10 years before).
- Lastly, she picked the wrong crime. She states that 500 children are murdered each year by one of their parents. Astounding! What can be learned from this? She picks a local couple that have a toxic relationship, fall far beyond their lower middle class roots due to drug and alcohol use, and physically, verbally and emotionally abuse each other. There's not much to learn here, no good people, no questions asked or answered *why*. Another case could have been more enlightening.
June 18, 2018
I picked this up wanting to try to understand how any mother could want to kill her children. After reading this I am still wondering how. It's a detailed account of the life and struggles of the mother and father and provides various perspectives of the situation but the heart of the matter is never quite resolved or understood. Guess that's real life.
June 2, 2018
Riveting Reading
A psychological analysis of an incomprehensible crime. This book seeks to go beyond the superficial knee jerk reaction to find the answer to "why".
A psychological analysis of an incomprehensible crime. This book seeks to go beyond the superficial knee jerk reaction to find the answer to "why".
September 22, 2018
well written, well researched, well worth 4 stars.
June 3, 2018
I think the problem with true crime is often that reality just can't compare with fantasy. Stories don't come together neatly, as they do in fiction. The endings aren't what we want. There is often a sense of lingering unfulfillment, and questions that are never answered. I have read most of Amazon's First Reads true crime novels, and none have ever gripped me so much as this one. The story that was slowly revealed was profoundly disturbing, shocking, and not at all what I expected. So many lies, so much abuse, narcissism, manipulation, and mental illness.
This story was incredible, and halfway into the story I literally couldn't put the book down. And that was also the point at which I stopped trying to guess who I'd end up the most angry at, or where I'd place the most blame... Mostly because with each new piece of the story, everything shifted.
What a wrenching experience. I have never once thought to myself that I'd reread a true crime novel, but I'll reread at least the last half of this book again, and then maybe again. It was utterly gripping, and wove together emotion, truth, and conjecture into a story that will stick with me for a very, VERY long time!
This story was incredible, and halfway into the story I literally couldn't put the book down. And that was also the point at which I stopped trying to guess who I'd end up the most angry at, or where I'd place the most blame... Mostly because with each new piece of the story, everything shifted.
What a wrenching experience. I have never once thought to myself that I'd reread a true crime novel, but I'll reread at least the last half of this book again, and then maybe again. It was utterly gripping, and wove together emotion, truth, and conjecture into a story that will stick with me for a very, VERY long time!
June 9, 2018
This is not my type of story at all but it was a kindle first read and I needed to read a book for my reading on true crime so I gave it a try. This book is short but it was not easy to get through. First of all it just made me sad that people like this exist in the world. Amanda had many problems and had an abusive husband but this in no way excuses what she did. Especially in this day an age when their is so much support and so much recognition of mental health issues. It made me sad for the kids and all of their families that so many people did nothing. The entire book was depressing.
The writing was also a little slow and confusing. It went back and forth in time. I usually don't have an issue with this but in this book it was difficult to follow. One minute I'm reading about Amanda's arrest and the next she is back in college. In fairness to the author I was able to finish this. It was ok and non-fiction is not my favorite especially a story like this one.
The writing was also a little slow and confusing. It went back and forth in time. I usually don't have an issue with this but in this book it was difficult to follow. One minute I'm reading about Amanda's arrest and the next she is back in college. In fairness to the author I was able to finish this. It was ok and non-fiction is not my favorite especially a story like this one.
November 10, 2018
A compassionate reappraisal of the years leading up to Amanda Stott-Smith driving to the middle of the Sellwood Bridge in Portland, Oregon, in 2009 and dropping her two children into the Willamette River. The author doesn’t try to paint a villain but instead understand what has led a mother to this point in her life. This book is certainly handling difficult topics but an extremely interesting character study of both Amanda and her husband Jason even though the author has “only” been able to interview family, friends, and colleagues but not the couple themselves. This book also describes the long-lasting impact that Amanda’s action from night had on everyone around her.
June 5, 2018
Well Written
The author did a good job telling this story. Sometimes true crime stories can get a bit boring with transcripts and trial testimony. This book flowed nicely.
Unfortunately, this is a sad story about so many messed up people.
Amanda is where she deserves to be "prison". I do believe she has some form of mental illness but she knew right from wrong. Not like in the case of Yates, who is severely mentally ill.
The thing that really makes me mad is that Jason was not held responsible for this tragedy. He was and probably still is an abuser. There was enough information to go after him. He did not care for his children at all. If that is the case, why is his daughter now living with her grandmother? Same in the Yates case. Her husband got to walk away when he was just as much to blame. He did nothing for his sick wife and did nothing to safe guard his children. He just kept getting her pregnant. If parents are held responsible for underage drinking in their homes, so should husbands or partners that show these kinds of abuses that may contribute these women to perform these horrific acts.
The only decent people where the Becks and Amanda's grandmother. Sad.
The author did a good job telling this story. Sometimes true crime stories can get a bit boring with transcripts and trial testimony. This book flowed nicely.
Unfortunately, this is a sad story about so many messed up people.
Amanda is where she deserves to be "prison". I do believe she has some form of mental illness but she knew right from wrong. Not like in the case of Yates, who is severely mentally ill.
The thing that really makes me mad is that Jason was not held responsible for this tragedy. He was and probably still is an abuser. There was enough information to go after him. He did not care for his children at all. If that is the case, why is his daughter now living with her grandmother? Same in the Yates case. Her husband got to walk away when he was just as much to blame. He did nothing for his sick wife and did nothing to safe guard his children. He just kept getting her pregnant. If parents are held responsible for underage drinking in their homes, so should husbands or partners that show these kinds of abuses that may contribute these women to perform these horrific acts.
The only decent people where the Becks and Amanda's grandmother. Sad.
August 7, 2018
I was really looking forward to this book, but really unimpressed. I felt the author routinely inserted their opinion as fact. I understand that the author was taking us through a process she went through in order to determine who might be to blame for Amanda's actions, but her back and forth blame of maybe it was Jason's fault, maybe it was Amanda's got old quickly. Especially because of the depths she was going to diagnose their relationship. Amanda was a battered woman. Jason was a sociopath. Jason and Amanda clearly had a volatile relationship--court and police records document that; however, I'm extremely uncomfortable with blaming the homicide of their child on their relationship alone and I'm extremely unsupportive of labeling Jason a sociopath with little to no grounds for it other than what a few people have said.
October 9, 2018
This was a really well-done look at a horrible, tragic, probably preventable, almost unimaginable situation. Felt a lot like a long New Yorker piece (and that is a compliment). Before I read this book, I could not imagine killing anyone other than for reasons of defense of myself or others. After having read this book, I'm more firmly convinced than ever that there is true evil in this world of ours, and I am just thankful that it hasn't decided I'm a good conduit. Really wish I could give this 3.5 stars.
June 17, 2018
Way too focused on the author
Author spends too much time telling her story. Often speculates over doing research. Relies on popular books over scientific articles a little too much.
Author spends too much time telling her story. Often speculates over doing research. Relies on popular books over scientific articles a little too much.
January 1, 2019
This is a very dark look at marriage, motherhood, and murder through the case of a mother who threw her children over a bridge. A difficult read at times but also a compelling one that explores some very important issues that arose during and after the case of Amanda Stott-Smith in 2009. Although I did find some issues with the structure of the novel, they were easily overcome as I really appreciated the content and exploration of the complex issues in this case. I definitely recommend if you're interested in exploring this sort of case. It's a really captivating and thoughtful exploration of the case.
October 14, 2018
If you are looking for an average true crime book that lays out the facts and nothing but the facts, do not read this book.
But if on the other hand you want to know why a young mother would throw her children off a bridge in the middle of the night and leave them to drown, then pick up this book. Rommelmann lived this story for many years, and this is evident in how she tells it. With compassion yes, but also with a sharp eye that refuses to turn away when the facts do not fit our narrative. A picture emerges that puts Amanda on the bridge, but there are people and systems, not the least of which are patriarchy and religion, that stand there right behind her. I don’t know how Rommelmann carried this for so long, but this is such an important book.
But if on the other hand you want to know why a young mother would throw her children off a bridge in the middle of the night and leave them to drown, then pick up this book. Rommelmann lived this story for many years, and this is evident in how she tells it. With compassion yes, but also with a sharp eye that refuses to turn away when the facts do not fit our narrative. A picture emerges that puts Amanda on the bridge, but there are people and systems, not the least of which are patriarchy and religion, that stand there right behind her. I don’t know how Rommelmann carried this for so long, but this is such an important book.
March 20, 2021
Incredibly tragic and disturbing. The author never really gets the answers she seeks and leaves us with the same conjectures we start with. And the author abuses If/then sentence profusely. Vary up the sentences is a skill I emphasis to my students as it makes for more interesting reading!
July 30, 2022
Perhaps this is the purpose of detective investigations, real and fictional—to transform sensation, horror and grief into a puzzle, and then to solve the puzzle, to make it go away.
I didn't have any expectations going into this book but the subject matter appeared to be interesting and the fact that it happened in the Pacific Northwest drew me to it. I enjoy investigative reporting so I wanted to give this one a try.
Usually, when I read a book like this, I end up siding with one of the characters. But both of the parents in this case were total and utter scumbags, it was hard to feel sorry for either of them.
After years of looking, I could no longer differentiate between Jason’s and Amanda’s pathologies.
Rommelmann did a good job trying to be objective and setting out possible reasons that resulted in Amanda Stott-Smith dropping both of her children off Portland's Sellwood Bridge, such as finding out the origin of her son’s name, her drinking, feeling both persecuted by and obligated to her husband, losing custody of her children, and being unable or unwilling to fix any of her problems. But there could never be a compelling reason to justify her actions. Stott-Smith's actions affected so many people's lives and her surviving children and their families are still feeling the effects of all of the trouble she caused.
Although I felt that this book was well written, not having interviewed Stott-Smith makes it difficult to present both sides of the story. Overall, this was a compelling read for true crime fans.
I didn't have any expectations going into this book but the subject matter appeared to be interesting and the fact that it happened in the Pacific Northwest drew me to it. I enjoy investigative reporting so I wanted to give this one a try.
Usually, when I read a book like this, I end up siding with one of the characters. But both of the parents in this case were total and utter scumbags, it was hard to feel sorry for either of them.
After years of looking, I could no longer differentiate between Jason’s and Amanda’s pathologies.
Rommelmann did a good job trying to be objective and setting out possible reasons that resulted in Amanda Stott-Smith dropping both of her children off Portland's Sellwood Bridge, such as finding out the origin of her son’s name, her drinking, feeling both persecuted by and obligated to her husband, losing custody of her children, and being unable or unwilling to fix any of her problems. But there could never be a compelling reason to justify her actions. Stott-Smith's actions affected so many people's lives and her surviving children and their families are still feeling the effects of all of the trouble she caused.
Although I felt that this book was well written, not having interviewed Stott-Smith makes it difficult to present both sides of the story. Overall, this was a compelling read for true crime fans.
July 2, 2021
ok really dark and I was interested in how the author was trying to sympathize with the mother and understand things, but also it was kind of repetitive and there wasn’t much of a narrative. Also I had no idea who the author was and why she was doing this, but she was like, in the story
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