Because Everything Is Right but Everything Is Wrong

by Erin Donohue

Can you be lost and not know it?

Can other people stop you from being lost?

Seventeen-year-old Caleb’s world is disintegrating, his walls are closing in, his sky is threatening to fall. He’s barely holding on. To deadlines. To friends. To family. To mum. To Pat.

But he has Casey.

Maybe she can save him ...

Genres: Mental Health, Young Adult, Contemporary, Teen, Mental Illness, Fiction

168 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2017

About the author

Erin Donohue is a New Zealand-based writer of fiction and poetry. She holds a Bachelor of Applied Arts (Creative Writing) from Whitireia New Zealand and her work has previously been featured in Starling and 4th Floor Literary Journal.

Her writing draws heavily on her own experience with mental illness and Because Everything Is Right but Everything Is Wrong is her debut novel.

Reviews

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well it's been a long time since I've finished a book in tears. I remember my own versions of the Fear and the Darkness, and there is such an authentic honesty in how this is written that makes it a powerful book about mental illness. Teachers, parents and teens would gain so much from reading about Caleb's battle. The relentless pressure young people are under can be overwhelming, not to mention being a Year 13 with no idea of what you want to do or where you're going to go at the end of school - it's freaky. Such a great book, and without a huge spoiler risk, as awful as it gets the tears at the end are a delicious mix of happy sad, but mostly happy. Thank you Erin Donohue, I wish I'd been able to read this when I was 17.

[Carole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This would have to be one of the most powerful teen books I've read for ages. The author absolutely nails the character of Caleb as his world slowly falls apart and he increasingly struggles to cope with anxiety and depression. It was often difficult to read, Caleb's pain was that real. Highly recommended reading for anyone who has any contact whatsoever with teenagers as a way to get an insight into things that make them anxious and fearful, like the pressure to do well at school and/or to have a plan for when they leave school. This short novel will (deservedly) be very popular with teen readers who like to read about mental health themes.

[Jean O'Neill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, sad yet optimistic. The story will stay with you long after you have finished reading it.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly tender, heart-breaking and moving story... Erin's writing is candid and poetic and will make you cry. This book is a gem of Kiwi YA fiction.

[Kaylee Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is really well written and really shows the truth of life with depression as a young adult.
My only qualm is that the content was incredibly triggering for me and was not able to find anything that detailed how realistic the depiction would be. Because of how well it was written, I was easily drawn into the world and placed back in the mindset of my own trauma. So I just want future readers to be aware of their own limits and triggers before reading this book.

[Danushka Devinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really beautiful book that discusses a topic not so often discussed in fiction. The language used is extremely subtle and poetic and suits the overall theme of the book!

[Olivia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay book, easy quick read

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NCEA Reading Response:

This powerful novel by Erin Donohue gives you an insight into the life of someone in the grip of a mental illness. Caleb is 17 and his world is falling apart, Caleb begins to really struggle at school and his favourite hobby becomes sleeping. Caleb's parents are worried about him and take him to the doctors to get a check-up, no major problems are discovered, but then Caleb has a panic attack and ends up fainting at school. Caleb gets taken to the hospital where he is admitted to the mental health ward. Caleb is then discovered to have self-harmed himself and is sent to a specialist unit with a programme tailored specifically to people Caleb’s age. Caleb continues the struggle with his mental health and finds out that he has been imagining a person (Casey) whom he had made his friend. Caleb is devastated and distraught but eventually with the right medication Caleb gets back on track, and gets back home to his family and younger brother.

The final part of this book is one I will remember because it shows that people who are determined can overcome mental illness and get back to their family and friends and begin again to live their life to the fullest.
My favourite part of the book is the final scene where Caleb's mum planned a small gathering at their house after Caleb had been home 3 weeks. I love how everyone is happy and joyful - I especially love the following part, ‘... And then I start to feel it. I am feeling it. Her feet are sort of tapping the ground as she half-skips, half-jumps around me. Then she grabs both my hands and pulls me around in a circle. I am laughing. Out loud. Happiness is warm and right and yellow and I think, these are the moments I live for. I’m so glad I stayed here to feel this.’ This part is one of the most important parts of the book, with the main message being that there is always something that is worth living for.
The ideas in this book are important because mental illness is often not talked about even though it affects many, many people. Mental illness in fact has even affected the author Erin Donohue and this book draws heavily on her own experiences.
I think Erin Donohue did a great job in writing this book, the way she described Caleb’s mental illness and the describing words that she used were perfect. The character of Caleb just seemed so real as he struggled through his mental illness.

[Vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this quick New Zealand YA book that was different and unexpected from other clichéd YA novels. The poetic language Donohue uses in this book is to be commended as it reflects the rawness of emotion and actions the main character goes through.

[Lydean Herman · Rating 4 out of 5]

As an educator, this book definitely made me think more about the relationships we have with our students and how we can support our students in a holistic and healthy manner. This story touches on some tough to talk about stuff and instead of sensationalizing it, makes it authentic and brings to the forefront the pressures our students have in reality with a little twist at the end.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a short but incredibly powerful book. I'm in tears right now. Such an important topic discussed in a way unlike everything I've read in the past. And set in New Zealand. Of course I have to mention that. Incredible book. Read it.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very clever and uniquely written. A real, beautiful novel.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had to read this book for my english class however i like most books you have to read for school it was actually good. having struggled with mental health myself i found i related to a lot of the characters but also how they viewed their mental health when they were sick. the string theme of denial was very relatable to me as well as how caleb didn’t think he was sick because he had never known anything else. unlike a lot of books, i found this one very easy to read and didn’t find myself wanting to put it down at any time throughout reading it. there were a lot of plot twists, roses death was the one that suprised me the most but it was one that was very real and aided the story line a lot. it supported the theme of the importance of honesty which was shown throughout the book as rose was dishonest with her feelings and it led to her death. this allowed caleb to see what would potentially happen to him if he didn’t accept help which was likely a huge factor in his eventual acceptance of help and road to recovery. i really liked zoe probably because i related to her so strongly. she was a great friend and obviously saved caleb’s life which shows the importance of strong relationships when struggling with mh issues. at the end when she ate the cookie i was cheering her on so much! i would also like to add that i guessed that casey wasn’t real about half way through the book which i was very proud of lol. overall great book and pretty accurate depiction of mental health in my eyes. although i did find the fear and the deadness a bit cringy.

[Wendy Bamber · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have tried to read this before, I think I only stopped because I decided my intermediate children would find it a bit much. Im glad I came back for another go. The way the author describes the feelings our depressed main character is going through is so believable and real, I feel that any adults who deal with young people in those last years of high school should read this. Parents, teachers, leaders. It certainly retuned my empathy for this age group. To understand the overwhelming nature of the decisions being made at that age and how anyone suffering anxiety could go further down the path if not treated carefully and considerately. Now I’ve finished it, I do still think this is too much for my 12 and 13 year olds to be thinking about, and I’m not convinced I’d know how to put it in the hands of 16/17 year olds, it might be a hard sell because it really is about dealing with depression and extreme anxiety, but librarians who know their students would know who might benefit, and which teachers too.

[Miss Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This debut novel deals with themes of depression and anxiety through the voice of a teenager in Year 13. Descriptions of The Fear and The Deadness reoccur often - as you'd expect. Imagery like this seems rather apt. The sense of loneliness, dread, boredom, being an outsider and, I guess, not caring come through pretty clearly. Eventually, help is on hand. It's a big change for Caleb and his family to be admitted to the mental health ward: "'How long will he have to stay for?' Dad's holding Mum's hand. No one's holding my hand, so I hold it myself, twisting my fingers in my fist." At the Adolescent Crazy House he, ironically, tells his friend Casey that "...we can see all the illness in everyone else but not in ourselves." I loved the morning routine, from Caleb's perspective, outlined at the start of chapter 4. I dare any reader not to like younger brother, Pat, who is a sweetie. There was enough foreshadowing to work out the ending, but I was okay with this.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

I read so many YA books featuring mental health that run into cliché and making everything dramatic just for the sake of the story, but this book doesn't do that at all. It's honest and real and so, so beautifully written. It really gets into the head of someone experiencing anxiety and depression so you can feel and see and understand what he is going through.

I love Caleb show that not all boys are the butch, 'harden-up-you'll-be-fine,' manly men culture 'norm' and social pressure demands that they are. And that's just plain wrong. They aren't, and don't have to be and that's such an important message.

[Lily Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was recommended this book by a friend who lended me their copy, and as someone who has only just got back into the swing of reading after years of mental illness, I was skeptical.

I’ll be honest, the start was a bit slow, and I did put the book down for months before picking it back up, but that’s the point. How the plot flows is directly reminiscent of my own experience, and I can’t understate how refreshing it is for mental health to be so accurately written. My heart truly goes out to the author. While the events of the book of fiction, how they’re written must come from a place of experience.

This book is therapeutic in a twisted way. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s brutal.

[Lindsay]

A YA novel, New Zealand-based.
This is a powerful story about a 17-year old boy with mental illness. Beautiful and compelling. I loved how the author brought us into the protagonist’s head. I could feel what he was feeling. It made me cry.

[Sof · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75. Really enjoyed it. I don't read too much New Zealand Fiction but I really enjoyed the perspective in this one.

[Rosamund Feeney · Rating 5 out of 5]

fantastic writing that handles a sensitive subject matter in a very real way. This should be on every teenager's reading list.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a gem of a first novel by a very talented young writer. Captured the experience of adolescent depression and anxiety in an honest, authentic way. I'm looking forward to her next novel!

[Jeanna Rodgers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing story - can’t wait to see what else she writes. Great insight into how a teenager feels

[Ella Hood · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful and important.

[royaevereads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Catcher in the Rye vibes in a modern/NZ way.

[Saskia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well crafted story of a young man working through some pretty serious mental-health issues. Sensitively dealt with and cleverly written.

CW: suicidal ideation

[Emma Thomson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the sort of book where you start reading it, and it's so good and addictive that you just can't put it down. Amazing work with an incredible storyline!