Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self

by Lori Gottlieb

I never intended to publish my childhood diaries," says Lori Gottlieb of the journals she stumbled upon. "In fact, I never intended to find them." While rifling through a closet in her parents' house, Gottlieb found something she wasn't looking for and barely remembered existed. The pages of these diaries served as a penetrating and ironic lens through which her younger self viewed the "mixed-up" world that surrounded her. "Of course they aren't overweight," Lori told her psychiatrist when asked if she thought the girls at school who diet are overweight. "Didn't I already say they were popular?"

An unflinchingly candid, bitingly funny debut, Stick Figure's compelling mix of irreverent humor and autobiography offers dead-on observances about everything from mothers to the medical profession, gender roles to the absurdities of society's obsession with beauty, and the confusion of being not quite a child, but not quite an adult yet either.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Psychology, Mental Illness, Biography, Biography Memoir

240 pages, Paperback

First published February 20, 1998

About the author

LORI GOTTLIEB is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE, which has sold nearly two million copies and is currently being adapted as a television series. In addition to her clinical practice, she is co-host of the popular “DEAR THERAPISTS" PODCAST, which features real sessions with real people and offers actionable advice, and writes The Atlantic’s “Dear Therapist” advice column. She is a sought-after expert in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, CNN, and NPR and her TED Talk was one of the Top 10 Most Watched of the Year.

She is the creator of the Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Workbook: A Toolkit for Editing Your Story and Changing Your Life and the Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Journal: 52 Weekly Sessions to Transform Your Life.

Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com or by following her on Instagram @lorigottlieb_author and Twitter @LoriGottlieb1.

Reviews

[Anastacia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I want my money back. This was HORRIBLE. I hate even giving one star to it, but I don't want anyone to think I just forgot to rate this piece of crap. I bought it to read a thoughtful memoir on an eating disorder and it is page after page of pure crap - the worst book on this issue (or, really, any issue) I have ever read. It just reinforces all the stereotypes and myths of eating disorders and god forbid anyone read this who knows someone struggling with the disorder because this is NOT what it is.

[Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't quite understand how this is a memoir because it seems totally inaccurate.

One day Lori decides she is fat and stops eating almost entirely. She begins to drop weight rapidly and suffers from nothing - no headaches, dizziness, hunger pains, nada. She acts as though starving herself is the easiest thing in the world, despite having a very healthy appetite prior to this.

I decided that maybe Lori had an incredibly, incredibly severe case of anorexia, which would have made more sense, except that at the end of the book Lori sees her emaciated self in a mirror, decides she doesn't want to be sick anymore, and then just stops being sick.

So, thanks for making anorexia look like a joke Ms Gottlieb.

[K · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't think this book adds much to the sum total of ED literature. It's well written and Lori's 11yr old voice is compelling, funny and wise beyond her years (perhaps unbelievably so).
However, it's very triggering and lacks insight. Lori's mother is painted as an ogre, the doctors do nothing to really help her and I was left wondering where her apparently spontaneous recovery came from and how she fared after her hospitalisation. It's a book mostly about Lori's becoming and being sick, with recovery a deus ex machina that's never examined or explained. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone looking for help with recovery or even trying to get an accurate and in depth understanding of eating disorders in younger sufferers.
I'd actually be worried about kids reading this as Lori is easy to identify with and the horrors of the disease are minimised. The recovery is simply a matter of deciding not to be sick! Of course, this is simply not the way it works and overall I think the book trivialises the subject, which needn't be the consequence of making accessible to young readers.

[Lisa Vegan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The funniest book about anorexia I ever read, and yet it treats the condition seriously, and, unlike many books does not really glamorize the eating disorder. A really enjoyable read by a young woman who wrote this by going back over her childhood diaries. Great memoir.

[Buffheart]

I heard all this hype about this book, so I bought it and read it. It was an interesting story, but I found the fact that she "cured" herself on her own to be quite ridiculous and fake. People with real Eating Disorders can't simply think themselves better.

[Miya (severe pain struggles, slower at the moment) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Huge TW for eating disorders

I'm not sure what to think. Everyone has different experiences, so no one can really judge how someone will go though horrible things such as anorexia. I don't think I would recommend this for young people or those who are recently in treatment. Too many triggers. Written like a diary. Pretty short. Just not one I would personally recommend to those looking for inspiration during recovery.

[Esme · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book purports to be the actual teenage diary of the author as she struggled through a year with anorexia. Having read hundreds of memoirs, I believe this book was heavily edited by the author. It does not sound like a girl writing extemporaneously, even a gifted child as she appears to be. It reads like a columnist writing for the local newspaper, who has an agenda. She wants us to believe that all girls are as weight obsessed as she and her classmates. However, they are living in Beverly Hills, California, and Lori gets to spend an afternoon with Jacklyn Smith, Charlie's Angels star, set up by her parents in an effort to get her to eat. Living in La-La Land, in such privilege, one might expect everyone is obsessed with weight and beauty, lacking any other real problems.

That said, it was a good read, especially as I got further into the book.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

So.

I liked it.

I don't think the girl had anorexia. I think she had a self perception disorder, absolutely, and I'm not an expert (or anorexic) but I'm pretty sure it isn't something you can just decide to snap out of. She does thank The Group at the end of the book, so I have a feeling that her struggles were just beginning when she wrote the journals that inspired this book, but I doubt it's anorexia. I think she imposed the eating part of the disorder onto herself upon developing an image problem.

That being said, it was short and easy and whatever I kind of don't care about this review anymore.

[Stacey · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was read by one of my students in my Psychology of Women class. She brought it for me to read and I was excited to read it.

To say I was disappointed with this book would be generous. I thought this was an extreme trivialization of anorexia and the body image distortions that accompany it.

The story is told from the diary of the author as an 11 year old girl. However, I really don't believe that these are her actual diaries - it's a bit too neat to be completely authentic. Even if the diaries are real, for this book to be effective the author needed to discuss some of the emotional pain that accompanies anorexia and spend some time discussing her experiences with treatment and re-integration into the community and her family.

I would personally not recommend this book to anyone.

[Liralen · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a quick read, but I ached for the author's 11-year-old self. It's amazing how little analysis is needed to understand exactly where her eating disorder came from and how the well-intentioned people around her exacerbated the problem. Normally I'd wish that the book did have more analysis, but it doesn't need it. The diary entries stand on their own.

The upshot: It's sad, it's funny, it's worth reading.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is about an eleven year old girl with an eating disorder in the 1970s. As a survivor, the content stood out to me. I was also curious about how this disorder was seen in a time when pro ana websites did not exist. Lori is a quirky fourth grader with 'unconventional' tastes. She likes numbers and asks questions....a lot of questions much to the chagrin of her girly shopaholic mother and her stoic Wall Street dad.

At first, one might be tempted to accuse Gottlieb of skimming through her experience. She discusses her trips to the doctors with a tone that suggests she was more annoyed than scared. This does not have the gripping seriousness of Steven Levenkron's 'The best little girl in the world'. Lori's experience is told through the eyes of a fourth grade child. In their minds, we grown ups take every too seriously. When I was going through this at age fourteen, I saw some parallels and some start differences. The compliments became comments that were laced with concern. Kids were rude. I saw anyone who noted my habits with derision. It was a severe invasion of my 'privacy'. When Lori describes this, she sounds more annoyed than violated.

I am not here to begrudge Lori's interpretation or her experiences. Those are hers and hers alone. I am saying that if you want an emotionally charged retelling of this horrible disorder look elsewhere. Lori's account is unique is because she tells it through the lense of a kid who is in elementary school in a time before Karen Carpenter and anorexia entered our lexicon.

[Auj · Rating 4 out of 5]

I asked my librarian for books on eating disorders, specifically anorexia, for research on the story I'm working on. This book was the only relevant book they had.

It's a memoir of 11 year old's Lori's experience with anorexia. She insists she's just on a diet, but when she keeps losing weight, her family grows increasingly concerned and sends her to a doctor and psychologist, and eventually, she is forcibly admitted to a hospital.

I didn't like the beginning of the book. I was like where is her experience with the eating disorder (that's the reason why I was reading this book). She was just talking about things about her life that I didn't care about, and it was so obvious that a young person wrote this. But maybe about 50 pages in, the story got really good. This book gave me more insight into how an eating disorder can develop. I think the turning point that started her on the slippery dieting slope was a family friend eating very little and the other women doing the same thing.

I got emotional a few times during this book, and I remember at one point, on the airplane, a tear or two streamed down my face.

Trigger warnings for anorexia, weight, body image, and suicide

[Sarah S · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. This is the (polished) diary of a 11 year old girl's journey through anorexia. An intimate journey into the psyche. The disconnect between the child's and an adult's perspective is disheartening. The girl was so misunderstood! The adults can't even fathom what this girl is thinking or going through. This book really gripped and resonated with me. Love the humour too.

One take-away is that anorexia is about control. The whole journey in this book was a series of power struggles between the child writer and everyone and everything.

There is something to be said about how anorexia is/was being treated. I don't know anything about anorexia treatment, but it seems absurd to have such an immense focus on counting calories and weighing in. Isn't that the problem with anorexia to begin with? Calorie and weight obsession? Why would sufferers be treated with MORE calorie counting and weight focus? Maybe the treatment methods in this book are outdated. I don't know.

I picked up this book for my 10 year old daughter, and I ended up reading it. My daughter is only 1/3 way through the book. She loves it so far.

[Kimmae · Rating 4 out of 5]

From an 11 year old pure viewpoint (Gottleib's journals): parents, dieting, expectations, anorexia. Parts of the book made me really consider body image and food as related to my daughter: Gottlieb wishing to be skinny for her 11 1/2 birthday wish then wonders what would be left to wish for when she is 12 because what else would a 12 yo girl wish for? She refers to wedding dresses that of course don't fit because of the need to diet for 6 months first, mother frowns on her large portions but encourages father and brother, mother never orders dessert and eats dry toast so why not okay for 11 yo to diet?

Good book for parents especially of girls, adult women to be aware of body image and relationship to food, young girls for discussion re topics.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gottlieb kept a journal of her short bout of anorexia at the tender age of eleven. Obviously highly intelligent and blessed with a dry sense of humor Gottlieb's insight belies her young age. Unlike many books written about eating disorders Gottlieb's voice is the primary player here as opposed to the intricacies of the disease. Because of this, she is easy to identify with even for those who have never struggled with food and weight issues.

[Jodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book quite a bit. Most books about eating disorder experiences are pretty serious, and rightfully so, but this one is written from the viewpoint of a preteen. I found her thinking patterns both interesting and enlightening, and could identify, too, with some of her many fears and anxieties. I feel this would be a good book for libraries to put in their YA section, so I'll probably offer it to my local one. If they don't want it, then I'll release it via BookCrossing.

[Ashly Torres · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think is a great book because it though you a lot of a girl of 11 years old that like to be popular, by been anorexic and not realizing the hurt she is making to herself.

[Rebecca Shields · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm kind of torn about this book. First of all, this is supposedly an 11-year-old's diary. While it was also documented that she was very intelligent for her age, this very much sounds like it was written like an adult. I'm wondering if it was edited, and if it was, it shouldn't have been in order to make this more authentic. The only thing that brings it back to the fact that it was an 11-year-old is her witty sarcasm and feelings towards adults. The way her mother acts absolutely fits with why Gottlieb would be confused about how women are "supposed" to be, and unfortunately she developed anorexia. The thing is, after a 4-week inpatient stint at the hospital, with terrible doctors and no one who really helped her (according to Gottlieb's diary, at least), she was suddenly "cured" with one look in the mirror. Mental illness is never cured like this. According to the epilogue, which should be much, much longer than it was, it sounds like she hasn't relapsed. I say sounds like, because she hardly addresses anything about her life after age 11 in the epilogue other than she found the diaries. While this was a quick read and one I didn't want to put down, I still have to give this 2 stars. I think if she wrote more about her life afterwards in the epilogue, things may have come together a little better.

[Nora · Rating 3 out of 5]

The reviews of this book are all over the map. What I think the author got right about this book was explaining what was going on in her head during the time she had anorexia as an 11 year old. As a person that had a similar experience at 12-13, I could identify with a lot of it. Some of her thinking patterns come across as over the top, but those were my thinking patterns too, so I know that it's a truthful representation - just sounds crazy from the outside! Things that make me go hmm about the book: the Mom comes across as kind of awful, and I wonder if she was really that bad or if that was 11 year old Lori making her sound worse than she was. I feel kind of sorry for how the Mom was portrayed in this book, unless it actually was accurate. It also seemed like Lori just magically got over her anorexia at the end of this book, and that was not my experience nor a lot of other people's I know. I struggled with eating disorder thought patterns well into my twenties; perhaps it was just a phase for Lori, but I'm a bit suspect? Finally, I'm glad I didn't pick this book up when I actively had an eating disorder. I think it would be very triggering and think perhaps there needs to be a warning somewhere on the book jacket. This book is not for people with serious, active eating disorders!!

[Josie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a true story about a young girl who becomes severely anorexic. The author/ main character is a pre-teen girl named Lori who never thought much about her weight until her mother and cousin started to judge her eating habits. The problem with Lori was that she was getting mixed messages about whether it was good or bad to diet. Doctors and her dad and mom would tell her to not try to lose weight, but all the while she'd be watching her mother not eat. This is what drove Lori to being obsessed with losing weight, and eventually made her so anorexic that she was hospitalized. She just didn't understand the dangers of what she was doing to herself. The only way she ended up saving herself was by finally seeing her silhouette and realizing how disgustingly skinny she was. It was then that she decided she had gone too far. This is a truly touching story about the struggle to try to fit into a specific image. It is an extremely interesting, shocking and well written story I know I will never forget. It is a great book that in my opinion all teenage girls should read.

[Keri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the way that this book was told from the child view point. As a parent it allowed me to see how her parents comments and communication was perceived by her as a child. It showed how important communication between adults and children and to be aware of language that can be lost in translation to a child. For Lori's story (and the sake of a quick book review)...her mom drove me nuts. I wanted to blame her so many times (and did). She made me so sad. I caught myself when reading saying, "NO, don't say that to Lori" and then she did, ugh. If you have children (boys or girls) this is a great one to read. Not because of the theme of eating disorders, but the theme of communication and to be more present and aware. If you like memoir/biographies and mental health stories, this is a good one to read. My only negative is I wish Lori would have written more about her journey to recover.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant commentary on the way that many people respond to eating disordered youth, Lori Gottlieb's bravery in sharing her own personal experiences with anorexia shine a light on societal expectations. Rather than encouraging anyone to feel pity or sadness for her, Gottlieb repeatedly encourages readers to examine the world that they live in, and the culture that we are surrounded by that drives us to scrutinize our bodies as though they are entities separate from ourselves. This book is definitely a must-read for anyone that has experienced an eating disorder, is close with someone with an eating disorder, or plans on working with disordered clients in the future. The level of insight and sheer honesty is compelling, driving readers to push through the entire book until every last page has been turned.

[Brooke Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book was really good. I enjoyed hearing Lori go through her story and tell us all the struggles she went through. For a while I was getting nervous for Lori because I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. Toward the end I started to realize that Lori was coming to see how skinny she was getting and realizing how much it was affecting her in a bad way. I will say this book kept me on the edge of my seat for the most part. Every time I turned the page it seemed like there was something else happening that was super interesting. I also think the author did a good job of describing things in detail. The book was very easy to understand and I would definitely recommend it to people that are struggling with dieting issues or anyone who just wants a good book to read.

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was mentioned a few times in an Abnormal Psych class I took last year, so when I saw it on the clearance shelves at Half Price Books for a dollar I figured I'd give it a shot.

...I really, really, really want my dollar back now.

This was absolutely terrible. As many other reviewers have noted, I find it difficult to believe that an eleven year old wrote this "book" (diary). It was this weird mixture of all at once being too grown up for an eleven year old, but shockingly devoid of any insight/deeper thinking to have been written by an adult.

On the bright side, it was an incredibly quick read, only taking about 2hrs, so thankfully I didn't waste too much time on it.

[7706marley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This realistic fiction and biography book called "Stick Figure" by Lori Gottlieb is a book about the authors former life. The author and main character Lori had anorexia. She was in denial. She wouldnt eat and would say she was dieting.Another problem in this story is that Lori starts losing most of her friends. Her problem becomes really big and is admitted to the hospital.

I recommend this book to anyone who feels that they are not skinny enough. I also recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about this condition.

[Cassandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book, and was let down. A young Lori Gottlieb was very, very unlikable. I've never been so annoyed with a main character. I didn't give it one star because it is a diary of a very young girl and while it's a bit annoying, it does offer a genuine perspective of a mind of a (12?) year-old suffering from an eating disorder, for better or worse. I didn't get anything substantial out of the book.

[Becca · Rating 2 out of 5]

interesting book...I like it up until the end. I thought that there was too quick of a shift in the events described and then it just ended. The beginning and middle of the book were better. I wished the author, considering she was telling her own story, would have spent more time discussing/describing certain things

[Bridget · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh. I read it based on a recommendation from a friend. I knew the premise, but as I was reading I couldn't help but think it must have been doctored from her original diaries. No 11 year old writes that much that coherently, even if she does score well on IQ tests. Something about the portrayal of her recovery didn't sit well with me, either.

[Charity · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gripping and sad story about the author's struggle with an eating disorder, but there was not enough detail to the story or follow-through. Just okay. I heard that Wasted by Marya Hornbacher was better, but I don't know if or when I'll get to it.

[Sera · Rating 3 out of 5]

A haunting look at anorexia and a teen's attempt to recover from the disease. I enjoyed the book, but it would have been better if it offered more insight into the psychological ascpects of the disease.