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384 pages, ebook
First published September 4, 2018
“Willa!” Mom frowned. “Stop doing that.”
“Sorry. This chair is, um . . . uncomfortable.”
Behind me, Jackson chuckled. “I’ve got somewhere else you could sit.”
“I think what’s important is finding a person who makes you better. And someone you can trust with your heart. And, Jackson? I trust you with mine.”
She was my courageous champion. My warrior. My lover. My friend. My everything.
#1 Tattered — 3.75 Stars
#2 Timid — 3.5 Stars
#3 Tragic — 4 Stars
#4 Tinsel — 3 Stars
“I was twenty-six years old. I had kissed one man, after which he’d forgotten. I’d never had a boyfriend or sex. I’d never been in love. All because I’d been waiting for Jackson Page.”
“I’d been a blind asshole. All this time she’d been right there. If not for Thea’s drawing, I may have never opened my eyes. They were open now.”
“Do you have any idea how long I’d been waiting for you to notice me? How many times I’d walked into the bar and wished you’d finally just see me? Then you did and I was so happy. And then you forgot.”
“I’m not much of a fighter and I rarely stand up for myself. But I’m standing up for you. I’ll fight for you.” Her hands slid up to my cheeks, pushing me back so she could look me in the eye. “I’m not letting you go. And I’ll never leave you behind.”
“It’s easy to love someone when times are good. Real love is about holding on to one another when times aren’t.”
“I think what’s important is finding a person who makes you better. And someone you can trust with your heart.”
“One day, I am going to marry Jackson Page. I just had to get him to notice me first.”
“Hey, Willa.” Oh. My. Goodness. He’d called me by the right name. Finally! After years of correcting him each time he called me Willow, hearing my name in his deep voice gave me wings.
“After years of watching and waiting and hoping, Jackson had finally noticed me. Me, the shy girl who’d loved him from a distance. Tonight, he’d made one of my dreams come true.”
“Why had she waited so long for me? Why had she made me crave her? Why couldn’t she have gone to college and met her future husband? That way, I never would have known her. She would have always just been Willow. This was just as much her fault as it was mine.”
“I closed my eyes, trying to work up the nerve to leave. But fuck, I wanted to keep her. Forever. Would she stay? Would Willa be that one person to stick? Yes. She was my courageous champion. My warrior. My lover. My friend. My everything. Willa was the one.”
“You shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of shit from a man. I’m a mess. If you want me to stop so you can find someone better, just say the word. I’ll walk away.” Better? I snorted a laugh. There wasn’t better than Jackson Page. In my book—literally in my diaries—he was as good as it got.
“Maybe a braver woman would have pestered and pressed him until he admitted what was bothering him. Maybe she would have stood up to him, demanding he lose the grumpy attitude. But I wasn’t that woman. I let him be a grouch during the day because at night, he’d still sleep with me in his arms.”
“There.” My finger shot in the air. “Did you see it?”
“Yeah.”
“Aren’t they pretty?”
“Beautiful.” But he wasn’t staring at the sky. He was looking at me.
“It’s easy to love someone when times are good. Real love is about holding on to one another when times aren’t.”
“Do you have any idea how long I’d been waiting for you to notice me? How many times I’d walked into the bar and wished you’d finally just see me? Then you did and I was so happy. And then you forgot.”
“Why couldn’t he see what I saw? He was a wonderful man with flaws. I wasn’t blind. He wasn’t perfect.
But he was perfect for me.”
I’m not bold. Or daring. But you . . . you were my risk. I put myself out there for you and it didn’t work. ”
“Can I tell you a secret?” He leaned down and whispered, “I have a crush on you.”
I smiled. “It’s about time.”
Willa’s laugh seeped into my heart, filling the last remaining cracks until it was whole.
I was her dream and she was mine.
“Ryder’s having a last-minute sleepover because tonight, you’re mine.”
A shiver rolled over my shoulders as I followed him into the main room. “My parents asked us over for dinner, but I think I’d better decline.”
“You’ll be too busy fucking me to worry about dinner.”
She was in love with me.
Somehow, I’d fooled her into thinking I was the kind of man she should love.
”We could just get this sketch framed,” I offered.
He took the paper from my hands and carefully refolded it before returning it back to his wallet. “It stays with me.”
I stayed with him. That’s what he was really saying.
We liked the same candy. That had to mean something. Like . . . fate.
I couldn’t like a boy now that I’d seen this man.
Jackson and Willa. Willa and Jackson. Our names went together like peanut butter and jelly.
“Nice to meet you, Willow.” “It’s, um . . . Willa.”
One day, I am going to marry Jackson Page. I just had to get him to notice me first.
Nine years later . . .
“Hey, Willa.” Oh. My. Goodness. He’d called me by the right name. Finally! After years of correcting him each time he called me Willow, hearing my name in his deep voice gave me wings.
That was the story of my life, watching Jackson Page. It sounded like the title for a made-for-TV movie. I’d been watching him for years, ever since the first day I’d seen him.
My diaries had the exact dates and times.
He was still the same playboy he’d been for years.
One moment I was trying to find the words to ask him out to dinner. The next, he was kissing me. Jackson Page was kissing me.
“Sorry,” he whispered, not letting go of my face. “I didn’t mean—” “Don’t,” I breathed. “Don’t be sorry.” Because I’d never be sorry for that kiss. My first kiss.
I’d been waiting for this kiss with Jackson.
Jackson grinned. “Hey, Willow. What can I get for you?”
“It’s Willa. With an a,” I snapped. “Will-a.” He winced. “Sorry. I suck at names. Did you want a drink?”
Tequila and weed. That was the taste I couldn’t pinpoint last night. That was the reason for the haze in his eyes. He’d been drunk and high during my first kiss.
He really had forgotten. He’d forgotten the best night of my life. The best first kiss in the history of first kisses.
Enough, Willa. Enough.
I’d spent too many years dreaming about him. Nine, to be exact. Thinking about Jackson, looking for him in town, had become ingrained into my routine.
How many years had I waited? How many months had I wasted? All I’d ever wanted was for Jackson to take notice, or at least call me by the correct first name.
Maybe that was the reason for his appearance last night. Had he run out of tourists to bang? Was I just next on his conquest list?
Maybe it was ridiculous to have feelings for someone I’d never spoken to on the phone or texted even once. I might be ridiculous for letting a high-school crush last beyond college. And it was ridiculous to think I stood a chance with a man who’d called me by the wrong name for years.
He’d chased me into the parking lot last night and told me that something between us felt special. Then he’d checked out that woman right in front of me. I’d had to sit witness as he’d drooled over her cleavage and raked his eyes over her ass as she’d strutted to the door.