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Gunpowder Soup
Although there are a lot of football stories in this book, it isn't all about visits to away grounds (Millwall, Arsenal, Tottenham, West Ham, Leicester, Liverpool etc.) and other football-related essays. I also talk about home games against Stoke, Chelsea and Man U for instance
My diatribes in my blogs and newspaper columns are simply my way of spinning the balls, because sometimes I like to see what number they land on. That’s all.
But although I’m known mostly as a raconteur - and most of my books can be described as coming from the humourist vein – in ‘Gunpowder Soup’ I also touch on some subjects that are surely going to upset a few people.
I’ve never quite understood the politically correct brigade. Hardly any subject is taboo to the Englishman when he’s laughing. No longer simply a fad, blogging is now an important new literary innovation. This book is not a story, and if you’re looking for a book that is all sweetness and light, please give this one a miss. It’s not for you. I won’t be offended and I honestly wish you a great life. If everyone likes me, then I’m not being controversial enough – and trust me when I say that in this book I get controversial.
Right now the planet is spinning in new and scary directions, and this needs to be addressed. So inside the covers of this book I take a look at some of the challenges we’re currently facing. And some of my opinions are going to rattle a few people.
So why the title ‘Gunpowder Soup’? Well, although my last book was entitled ‘100 Common Sense Policies to make BRITAIN GREAT again’ the book before that, ‘Nobody Asked Me, But …’, showed a rabbit popping out of a tin of soup on the cover. ‘Rabbit & Pork,’ of course, is Cockney rhyming slang for Talk, and on more than one occasion I’ve been accused of rabbiting away excessively – mostly at parties, and generally by my wife.
So why a tin of soup? And why in particular Gunpowder Soup? Well I tend to believe that everyone is born perfect. Nobody is born with an inherent capacity to hate. It has to be taught. All of our experiences – family, school, work, the books we read, the newspapers we peruse, the music we listen to, our friends, our social life, the opinions of those around us, religion, sports we play or watch, those we love and those who love us, those we desire and those who desire us, those we travel with, our hopes and dreams and ambitions and achievements, our triumphs and disasters - go into a metaphorical cooking pot that we carry with us throughout our lives. All these ‘ingredients’ make up our Soup of Life.
Now, when making a soup, once you’ve added an ingredient, it’s forever blended in and you can’t take it out again. You add a sprinkling of finely chopped garnish; cumin or oregano, and you can never take that ingredient out again. Never, ever, ever.
So say at the age of six you add black pepper or rosemary or hatred or love or comedy, from then onwards it’ll always be part and parcel of your ‘soup.’ And as you add more ingredients the ‘recipe’ of your life evolves, and before you know it you can’t taste the coriander or the love any more, but it’s still there at a deep subliminal level. Remember that.
Some people may not add hatred until they’re in their twenties, and most of us never add it at all. And you can never entirely erase the flavour of a particular spice in soup. That’s the metaphorical significance of a tin of soup, but since writing ‘Nobody’ it’s becoming abundantly clear that we’re facing greater challenges, and if we’re not very, very careful the country as we know it - these ‘pleasant pastures green’ - are set to implode!
What else can I say? I write like a finger up your bum. I’m either a pleasant surprise or I make everything awkward and uncomfortable. I’m strong-willed, a bit outspoken and I write exactly what I’m thinking. I’m not to everyone’s taste, but I have a good sense of humour, a dirty mind and an honest heart.
My diatribes in my blogs and newspaper columns are simply my way of spinning the balls, because sometimes I like to see what number they land on. That’s all.
But although I’m known mostly as a raconteur - and most of my books can be described as coming from the humourist vein – in ‘Gunpowder Soup’ I also touch on some subjects that are surely going to upset a few people.
I’ve never quite understood the politically correct brigade. Hardly any subject is taboo to the Englishman when he’s laughing. No longer simply a fad, blogging is now an important new literary innovation. This book is not a story, and if you’re looking for a book that is all sweetness and light, please give this one a miss. It’s not for you. I won’t be offended and I honestly wish you a great life. If everyone likes me, then I’m not being controversial enough – and trust me when I say that in this book I get controversial.
Right now the planet is spinning in new and scary directions, and this needs to be addressed. So inside the covers of this book I take a look at some of the challenges we’re currently facing. And some of my opinions are going to rattle a few people.
So why the title ‘Gunpowder Soup’? Well, although my last book was entitled ‘100 Common Sense Policies to make BRITAIN GREAT again’ the book before that, ‘Nobody Asked Me, But …’, showed a rabbit popping out of a tin of soup on the cover. ‘Rabbit & Pork,’ of course, is Cockney rhyming slang for Talk, and on more than one occasion I’ve been accused of rabbiting away excessively – mostly at parties, and generally by my wife.
So why a tin of soup? And why in particular Gunpowder Soup? Well I tend to believe that everyone is born perfect. Nobody is born with an inherent capacity to hate. It has to be taught. All of our experiences – family, school, work, the books we read, the newspapers we peruse, the music we listen to, our friends, our social life, the opinions of those around us, religion, sports we play or watch, those we love and those who love us, those we desire and those who desire us, those we travel with, our hopes and dreams and ambitions and achievements, our triumphs and disasters - go into a metaphorical cooking pot that we carry with us throughout our lives. All these ‘ingredients’ make up our Soup of Life.
Now, when making a soup, once you’ve added an ingredient, it’s forever blended in and you can’t take it out again. You add a sprinkling of finely chopped garnish; cumin or oregano, and you can never take that ingredient out again. Never, ever, ever.
So say at the age of six you add black pepper or rosemary or hatred or love or comedy, from then onwards it’ll always be part and parcel of your ‘soup.’ And as you add more ingredients the ‘recipe’ of your life evolves, and before you know it you can’t taste the coriander or the love any more, but it’s still there at a deep subliminal level. Remember that.
Some people may not add hatred until they’re in their twenties, and most of us never add it at all. And you can never entirely erase the flavour of a particular spice in soup. That’s the metaphorical significance of a tin of soup, but since writing ‘Nobody’ it’s becoming abundantly clear that we’re facing greater challenges, and if we’re not very, very careful the country as we know it - these ‘pleasant pastures green’ - are set to implode!
What else can I say? I write like a finger up your bum. I’m either a pleasant surprise or I make everything awkward and uncomfortable. I’m strong-willed, a bit outspoken and I write exactly what I’m thinking. I’m not to everyone’s taste, but I have a good sense of humour, a dirty mind and an honest heart.
440 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 7, 2018
129 people want to read
About the author
Karl Wiggins
25 books322 followersKarl Wiggins – Author, humourist, raconteur and (unfortunately) master of dysphemism
I'm an author with seven books on Amazon Kindle, and I'll state right from the start that I have a particular aversion to fellow authors who befriend you and then immediately message you saying, "You might like my book ..... check it out."
I don't do that. If people wish to know more about my books the information is here to read, but I won't invade your personal space (not to mention precious time) with pleas to check out my own books
My goal, my life’s ambition if you like, is to give direction to comedy, purpose to satire. And this is probably why I write the way I do, in order to use self-deprecating, piss-taking humour to bring to the fore situations that just don’t stack up. To demonstrate that serious issues can be approached with humour.
Embarrassingly, a number of the reviews for my books seem to involve people losing control of their bladder; “Anyone who is a bit saucy, very fond of boobies and doesn't mind peeing slightly when they laugh too hard, this is the book for you!” “Best not to read this book on the train if you have a full bladder because by the end of your journey you will have a damp patch in an embarrassing place.” “I have to admit that I wet myself twice while reading it but this may in part have been due to my age and a couple of bottles of a fine St. Emilion,” “Due to the laughter you owe my secretary one clean pair of knickers.”
Two reviewers have even suggested I should tour as a stand-up comedian; “I found myself laughing out-loud and even sharing segments with my spouse ….. I think Karl could tour as a stand-up comedian,” “Mr Wiggins has views on life that are expressed in a manner worthy of any stand-up comedian.”
So my scribblings do seem to raise a smile and a chuckle, and either way you look at it, that has to be a good thing. Hardly any subject is taboo to the Englishman when he’s laughing, and this often seems insensitive to other cultures, but the bedrock of the British sense of humour is a strong sense of sarcasm and self-deprecation. The British can be very passionate – and if you doubt that try going to a football match - but that passion is hidden deep in our humour so that other nationals often fail to recognise the deadpan delivery and are never quite sure if they’ve been involved in a serious conversation or just a little bit of friendly banter.
Having said that my style of writing is now appealing more and more to the American market, and I write a regular column for a newsletter in Copiague, Long Island, New York. I’m really enjoying connecting with the people over there.
Interestingly enough, my writing style has been compared to two people, both now dead, Charles Bukowski and Socrates. Their names keep popping up in reviews; “Mr Bukowski, meet Socrates. This is an exceptionally amusing collection of observations of daily life,” “The prose style reminded me quite a lot of Charles Bukowski’s short essays and observations,” “It reminded me a lot of Bukowski’s novels, but particularly Factotum and Post Office,” “Had me laughing out loud several times, which doesn’t happen often to me. It reminded me a lot of Bukowski’s novels,” (I swear those are two completely separate reviewers), “Karl Wiggins is like a contemporary Socrates.”
I’m sure both Socrates and Charles Bukowski would turn in their graves. But then again, maybe not.
My books;
'You Really are full of Shit, Aren't You?' is my latest and possible my favourite. It's an agony uncle / advice columnist style book, but unlike most agony aunts I cut them no slack.
I'll be the first to admit that 'Dogshit Saved my Life' and 'Calico Jack in your Garden' are not to everyone's taste, but the reviews are good, so I seem to be hitting the right note.
'Shit my History Teacher DID NOT tell me' kind of speaks for itself I guess, as does 'Grit - The Banter & Brutality of the Late-Night Cab Driver.' I drove cab in b
I'm an author with seven books on Amazon Kindle, and I'll state right from the start that I have a particular aversion to fellow authors who befriend you and then immediately message you saying, "You might like my book ..... check it out."
I don't do that. If people wish to know more about my books the information is here to read, but I won't invade your personal space (not to mention precious time) with pleas to check out my own books
My goal, my life’s ambition if you like, is to give direction to comedy, purpose to satire. And this is probably why I write the way I do, in order to use self-deprecating, piss-taking humour to bring to the fore situations that just don’t stack up. To demonstrate that serious issues can be approached with humour.
Embarrassingly, a number of the reviews for my books seem to involve people losing control of their bladder; “Anyone who is a bit saucy, very fond of boobies and doesn't mind peeing slightly when they laugh too hard, this is the book for you!” “Best not to read this book on the train if you have a full bladder because by the end of your journey you will have a damp patch in an embarrassing place.” “I have to admit that I wet myself twice while reading it but this may in part have been due to my age and a couple of bottles of a fine St. Emilion,” “Due to the laughter you owe my secretary one clean pair of knickers.”
Two reviewers have even suggested I should tour as a stand-up comedian; “I found myself laughing out-loud and even sharing segments with my spouse ….. I think Karl could tour as a stand-up comedian,” “Mr Wiggins has views on life that are expressed in a manner worthy of any stand-up comedian.”
So my scribblings do seem to raise a smile and a chuckle, and either way you look at it, that has to be a good thing. Hardly any subject is taboo to the Englishman when he’s laughing, and this often seems insensitive to other cultures, but the bedrock of the British sense of humour is a strong sense of sarcasm and self-deprecation. The British can be very passionate – and if you doubt that try going to a football match - but that passion is hidden deep in our humour so that other nationals often fail to recognise the deadpan delivery and are never quite sure if they’ve been involved in a serious conversation or just a little bit of friendly banter.
Having said that my style of writing is now appealing more and more to the American market, and I write a regular column for a newsletter in Copiague, Long Island, New York. I’m really enjoying connecting with the people over there.
Interestingly enough, my writing style has been compared to two people, both now dead, Charles Bukowski and Socrates. Their names keep popping up in reviews; “Mr Bukowski, meet Socrates. This is an exceptionally amusing collection of observations of daily life,” “The prose style reminded me quite a lot of Charles Bukowski’s short essays and observations,” “It reminded me a lot of Bukowski’s novels, but particularly Factotum and Post Office,” “Had me laughing out loud several times, which doesn’t happen often to me. It reminded me a lot of Bukowski’s novels,” (I swear those are two completely separate reviewers), “Karl Wiggins is like a contemporary Socrates.”
I’m sure both Socrates and Charles Bukowski would turn in their graves. But then again, maybe not.
My books;
'You Really are full of Shit, Aren't You?' is my latest and possible my favourite. It's an agony uncle / advice columnist style book, but unlike most agony aunts I cut them no slack.
I'll be the first to admit that 'Dogshit Saved my Life' and 'Calico Jack in your Garden' are not to everyone's taste, but the reviews are good, so I seem to be hitting the right note.
'Shit my History Teacher DID NOT tell me' kind of speaks for itself I guess, as does 'Grit - The Banter & Brutality of the Late-Night Cab Driver.' I drove cab in b
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
December 1, 2023
An honest window into the author's mind.
No nonsense and utter nonsense wrapped together in an opinionated read. From comical license plates to political views and the sports, of course. It was interesting to learn more about a foreign country and read some views on my own. The author does warn that he might offend some people but I've never been one to be offended by differing opinions. I appreciate a world where they all end up in the soup together.
No nonsense and utter nonsense wrapped together in an opinionated read. From comical license plates to political views and the sports, of course. It was interesting to learn more about a foreign country and read some views on my own. The author does warn that he might offend some people but I've never been one to be offended by differing opinions. I appreciate a world where they all end up in the soup together.
Displaying 1 of 1 review