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Bernie Rhodenbarr #1

Burglars Can't Be Choosers

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Bernie Rhodenbarr is a personable chap, a good neighbor, a passable poker player. His chosen profession, however, might not sit well with some. Bernie is a burglar, a good one, effortlessly lifting valuables from the not-so-well-protected abodes of well-to-do New Yorkers like a modern-day Robin Hood. (The poor, as Bernie would be the first to tell you, alas, have nothing worth stealing.)

He's not perfect, however; he occasionally makes mistakes. Like accepting a paid assignment from a total stranger to retrieve a particular item from a rich man's apartment. Like still being there when the cops arrive. Like having a freshly slain corpse lying in the next room, and no proof that Bernie isn't the killer.

Now he's really got his hands full, having to locate the true perpetrator while somehow eluding the police -- a dirty job indeed, but if Bernie doesn't do it, who will?

293 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1977

503 people are currently reading
3345 people want to read

About the author

Lawrence Block

768 books2,958 followers
Lawrence Block has been writing crime, mystery, and suspense fiction for more than half a century. He has published in excess (oh, wretched excess!) of 100 books, and no end of short stories.

Born in Buffalo, N.Y., LB attended Antioch College, but left before completing his studies; school authorities advised him that they felt he’d be happier elsewhere, and he thought this was remarkably perceptive of them.

His earliest work, published pseudonymously in the late 1950s, was mostly in the field of midcentury erotica, an apprenticeship he shared with Donald E. Westlake and Robert Silverberg. The first time Lawrence Block’s name appeared in print was when his short story “You Can’t Lose” was published in the February 1958 issue of Manhunt. The first book published under his own name was Mona (1961); it was reissued several times over the years, once as Sweet Slow Death. In 2005 it became the first offering from Hard Case Crime, and bore for the first time LB’s original title, Grifter’s Game.

LB is best known for his series characters, including cop-turned-private investigator Matthew Scudder, gentleman burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr, globe-trotting insomniac Evan Tanner, and introspective assassin Keller.

Because one name is never enough, LB has also published under pseudonyms including Jill Emerson, John Warren Wells, Lesley Evans, and Anne Campbell Clarke.

LB’s magazine appearances include American Heritage, Redbook, Playboy, Linn’s Stamp News, Cosmopolitan, GQ, and The New York Times. His monthly instructional column ran in Writer’s Digest for 14 years, and led to a string of books for writers, including the classics Telling Lies for Fun & Profit and The Liar’s Bible. He has also written episodic television (Tilt!) and the Wong Kar-wai film, My Blueberry Nights.

Several of LB’s books have been filmed. The latest, A Walk Among the Tombstones, stars Liam Neeson as Matthew Scudder and is scheduled for release in September, 2014.

LB is a Grand Master of Mystery Writers of America, and a past president of MWA and the Private Eye Writers of America. He has won the Edgar and Shamus awards four times each, and the Japanese Maltese Falcon award twice, as well as the Nero Wolfe and Philip Marlowe awards, a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Private Eye Writers of America, and the Diamond Dagger for Life Achievement from the Crime Writers Association (UK). He’s also been honored with the Gumshoe Lifetime Achievement Award from Mystery Ink magazine and the Edward D. Hoch Memorial Golden Derringer for Lifetime Achievement in the short story. In France, he has been proclaimed a Grand Maitre du Roman Noir and has twice been awarded the Societe 813 trophy. He has been a guest of honor at Bouchercon and at book fairs and mystery festivals in France, Germany, Australia, Italy, New Zealand, Spain and Taiwan. As if that were not enough, he was also presented with the key to the city of Muncie, Indiana. (But as soon as he left, they changed the locks.)

LB and his wife Lynne are enthusiastic New Yorkers and relentless world travelers; the two are members of the Travelers Century Club, and have visited around 160 countries.

He is a modest and humble fellow, although you would never guess as much from this biographical note.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 637 reviews
Profile Image for James Thane.
Author 10 books7,062 followers
September 19, 2019
This is the first book in Lawrence Block's "Burglar" series featuring Bernie Rhodenbarr. Block is perhaps best known for his Matthew Scudder series which is often dark, violent, and humorless. Like the Scudder series, the Bernie books are also set in New York City; otherwise they're the polar opposite of the Scudders. They're light, not at all violent, and often hilariously funny. The fact that the two series could be written by the same author is simply another testament to the skill of Lawrence Block (not that he needs any further testament in this regard.)

Bernie is a gentleman in the truest sense. He only burgles places that he expects to be empty and he would never commit any act of physical violence against his victims. He generally chooses well-heeled targets who can afford the losses. He's an expert at picking locks, and is one of the few in his profession who can defeat the top-of-the-line, state-of-the-art Rabson lock which rich people often choose as their principle line of defense against burglary. He never makes a mess, and leaves the places he burgles exactly as he found them, save for the items he's taken with him.

Bernie only does a few jobs a year, which allows him to live comfortably. But in almost every recorded adventure, Bernie stumbles across a body. The cops discover the body, occasionally with Bernie still on the premises, and immediately assume that he is the killer. Bernie then must use all his skills and intelligence to get himself off the hook and point the police at the Real Killer. He's a very charming and appealing protagonist--just the sort of guy that a crime fiction fan would love to spend an evening with every once in a while.

In this case, Bernie takes a job for hire. Someone offers him $5,000 (still a considerable sum of money when the book first appeared in 1977) to break into an apartment and steal a small blue box. Bernie has no idea what might be in the box, only that it's supposed to be in an antique roll-top desk. The man who lives in the apartment is supposed to be out at the theatre for the evening.

Bernie gets into the apartment without any difficulty and goes directly to the desk. He opens that without a problem either, but the box is nowhere in sight. While Bernie is still standing there, pondering the situation, two cops arrive at the door. Someone has reported hearing a noise in the apartment and they've arrived to investigate.

Of course, Bernie is mystified. He hasn't made a sound since he arrived but, nonetheless he's in deep trouble. Fortunately, one of the cops recognizes Bernie and when Bernie offers them a quick thousand dollars, they agree to let him go and pretend they never saw him. But then one of the cops goes to use the john and discovers a dead body in the bedroom. Suddenly the entire picture has changed and before the cops can react, Bernie rushes out the door and goes into hiding. A city-wide manhunt is soon on, with Bernie's picture splashed across the pages of all the papers, identifying him as a cold-blooded murderer. With that, the race is on and Bernie will have to work fast and furiously to get out of this mess.

I've really enjoyed all the books in the series, along with everything else that Block has ever written. I reread this book this week for one of my book clubs and really enjoyed Bernie's origin story all over again. Now I just have to somehow find the time to go back and reread a lot more of them.
Profile Image for Erin *Proud Book Hoarder*.
2,891 reviews1,182 followers
January 27, 2016

“Imaginative persons could probably find interesting things to do with handcuffs and a nightstick.”

Cozies are fun, but every genre needs variety to stay interesting for the reader. The same old can get ... well, old after awhile. This book delivers that twist by having the main character be an unapologetic cat burglar who opens the book breaking into an apartment, enjoying it, and then getting caught up in a far worse crime.

It may be morally wrong, but the quirk works, especially since Bernie is fun. He has his criminal morals and decent values, despite his knack for theft, so remains likeable. Definitely not the typical doe-eyed cozy lead. The lead detective is as funny as Bernie himself.

Berney is a character not duplicated in many other cozies - I like the charm of them but this one brings a punch of fun, something different, a crossing of the moral lines, a little humor, first person POV.

I have to say this book has the funniest cozy body discovery I've read about - ever.

Mystery wise, it works since the MC gets clues, follows leads, gets misdirected and solves the mystery cleverly enough, stylish speech and all. This follows up with an end twist that I didn't see coming. And no, I didn't guess the culprit. Ms. Sherlock Holmes I am not. Looking back it makes sense but it's not something I noticed, so mystery kudos to the author.

If you enjoy fun but not obnoxiously sweet/sappy humor mysteries, you may like this one. I know Lawrence Block has a highly regarded reputation and these aren't considered his best. Still, enjoyed this intro to him here.

Definitely a series I'll continue reading. Appreciated the afterword from the author with the details of how he came up with the concept, funny how those ideas work.
Profile Image for Rob.
511 reviews165 followers
April 21, 2021
Book 1 in the Bernie Rhodenbarr series. Published 1977
This may be murder mystery but at its heart it’s really a comedy.
Bernie Rhodenbarr is your average gentleman burglar. He only steals from those that can afford it and he only takes what he needs, never more, but when is enough ever enough?
Bernie has a good working relationship with the local police, if he is caught in the act, as it were, he pays the cops the going rate and life goes back to normal, until the next time.
On this occasion Bernie has been hired to break into a flat and retrieve a blue box, about the size and shape of a book. Where things start going pear shaped is when the police arrive to find Bernie in the act of burglarising the flat and also find the owner of the flat dead in his bed. At this point Bernie decides this might be a good idea to make a break for it.
Bernie now finds himself one of the most wanted men in New York. Guilty of breaking and entering but nothing more Bernie must find a way to prove his innocence and get back to a normal life, at least normal by Bernie’s standards.
What follows is an intriguing, humorous case of educated deductions to rival Sherlock Holmes.
The end, talk about convoluted, it was enough to make my head spin. Just about every character in the book is, to some degree, enmeshed in this web of intrigue.

An entertaining, humorous 4 star read.
Profile Image for Kemper.
1,389 reviews7,565 followers
October 25, 2016
Professional burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr gets hired to steal a blue box from an apartment, but the police bust in and catch him just after he breaks in. The good news is that one of the cops is crooked, and it looks like he’ll be able to buy his way out of the arrest. The bad news is that the cops find the apartment owner’s body in the bedroom so the bribing option just went bye-bye. Bernie flees and manages to hide out in the apartment of a friend he knows is out of town, but he’s a wanted man with his picture all over the news. Can Bernie figure out who really killed the man in the bedroom and avoid jail?

Lawrence Block is one of my favorite writers, but for some reason, I’ve never fallen completely in love with his Bernie Rhodenbarr series. I’m not sure why. They’re as well written as anything else he’s done, and as usual, Block creates an interesting main character in New York and then populates the books with a variety of unique supporting players.

The idea of a series about a thief appeals to me, but for some reason I don’t get the same thrill out of Bernie that I get from Block’s more serious Scudder and Keller novels. I think my issue may be that the series is more about Bernie playing amatuer slueth than Bernie being a burglar.

This would also explain why I like Donald Westlake’s humorous books about New York thief John Dortmunder better than Bernie. The Dortmunder books are about the crimes, not solving mysteries. I think I’d like Bernie more if the books were centered around him planning and pulling off burglaries rather than him having to play Sherlock all the time. They’re certainly not bad, and I’ve never regretted reading one, but they’re not at the top of my Block rating scale.
Profile Image for Greg.
1,128 reviews2,123 followers
March 25, 2013
I almost gave this two stars. But it wasn't bad like most of the books I give two stars. It just wasn't a very good Lawrence Block book.

I can easily imagine, and I'm sure I've really enjoyed some books in this genre. But my last two forays into it have been less than satisfying, and both times by writers that I expect a whole lot of satisfaction from.

I guess I should say what the genre is. An 'innocent' man is wrongly suspected of a crime and he has to remedy the situation. Or maybe the sub-genre I don't seem to care for is the more specific, innocent man wrongly suspected blah blah blah and hilarity ensues.

The other book I've read in this sub-genre is The Fugitive Pigeon, by Donald Westlake. I didn't love that book, but it actually worked better than this one. Maybe because the ending didn't seem to be sprung on me like a miracle.

I do love Lawrence Block, and I might give another book or two in this series a try, but reading through the descriptions of the next couple in the series they all seem to be the same basic plot. Bernie is in the middle of robbing something and a dead body turns up, and he's innocent of the murder but not of being in the wrong place at the wrong time committing a felony. He has to clear his relatively good name.

Maybe they get better. I just didn't really feel much for the main character. And it's the characters that generally do it for me in Block's books. Matthew Scudder? Great. Keller? Not quite as great as Scudder, but still phenomenal. Bernie Rohdenbarr? So far, potentially interesting, but nothing interesting.

I'll give the second book a try sometime in the near future.
Profile Image for Bill Kerwin.
Author 2 books84.2k followers
July 24, 2020

After I finished the first chapter of Block’s first “Burglar” adventure, I experienced the same rush of anticipatory pleasure I felt when beginning Michael Connelly’s first “Lincoln Lawyer” mystery. What a joy to discover that a master of the grim detective tale was not only capable of writing a more light-hearted mystery, but also capable of creating a breezy, amusing narrative voice to go with it!

Just as Connelly’s character Mickey Haller is one of the principle charms of his series, so Bernie Rhodenbarr—the accomplished picklock and pilferer—is what will lead me to read more “Burglar” books in the future. I am always interested when he talks about his chosen profession, and I like the fact that the man has a moral code. A flexible code, to be sure, but a code nonetheless.

The book begins with an interesting premise. Bernie is hired by a man he has not met before—but somehow knows what he does for a living—to steal a blue box from a desk drawer in the apartment of a wealthy patron of the arts. But things do not go well. First, he cannot find the box, then police arrive, and then—even worse—the owner of the apartment is discovered dead in his bed. Bernie manages to flee, and finds a place to hide, but he is clearly the prime suspect, and in order to clear himself he must solve the murder.

The plot has more than a few twists and turns, and Bernie encounters a few suspects—and a few attractive women along the way before eventually managing to clear his less-than good name.

And the solution? Both surprising and inevitable. Which is exactly the way I like them to be.
Profile Image for Toby.
860 reviews369 followers
March 2, 2013
Block's dialogue crackles like an overheard conversation in a New York bar in this lighthearted debut outing for gentleman burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr.

Lawrence Block has been a revelation to me this year, his work have been some of the highlights of my reading experience in 2012 but nothing prepared me for Bernie Rhodenbarr. I've become accustomed to the darker side of Block through Matt Scudder and the incredibly bleak Grifter's Game but Bernie lets his lighter side shine, always ready with a witty line and a writing style that highlights the authors joy of words.

Bernie is gentleman burglar, who happens to be discovered at the scene of his latest crime by a pair of dubiously honest cops, his attempts to talk his way out of a bust are halted by the discovery of a dead body in the apartment. This is the story of his flight from justice and his attempts to clear his name, en route he makes the acquaintance of several amorously inclined ladies and talks his way out of several jams.

Initially I was not exactly thrilled with the novel, but after reading Almost Transparent Blue this was exactly the kind of light entertainment I was wanting. Then Bernie started to grow on, I took pleasure in the journey and the pages flew past. I had a great time, despite somehow managing to imagine the Whoopi Goldberg version from the movie half the time. This was especially odd as Bernie is actually a man and the sexual interactions with his lady friends didn't lend themselves towards Whoopi territory.



I'm sure this is only a 3 star book but it gets the extra star for ease of reading and enjoyment purposes.
Profile Image for Dan Schwent.
3,183 reviews10.8k followers
October 4, 2010
Bernie Rhodenbarr breaks into an apartment while the owner is out to steal a blue leather box and make a quick five large. Only the apartment owner is home and quite dead, and the cops burst in while Bernie is there. Bernie goes on the run and sets out to clear his name with the help of an oddly helpful girl named Ruth. Can Bernie clear his name before he is apprehended for murder?

Lawrence Block put together an interesting mystery in this one, one involving actors, actresses, blackmail, and dirty cops. I sure didn't see the ending coming, neither the murderer nor the last plot twist at the end. It's more humorous than the Block books I've already read but more serious than Donald Westlake's Dortmunder books.

While I prefer Block's stories about Keller, Bernie Rhodenbarr's first tale is a good one and I'll be picking up the rest of them.
Profile Image for Maria Clara.
1,209 reviews698 followers
December 23, 2017
Pues me ha gustado; mucho... Será cuestión de leerse el segundo 😊
Profile Image for Arun Divakar.
822 reviews422 followers
January 14, 2013
There are many a variant of detective fiction that any bibliophile will come across in their journeys across the landscapes of mystery and thrills. There is the much adored closed room mystery of the Brits, the police procedural of the Americans, the haunted detective of the...of the...hmm...of the somewhere ! and so on and so forth. Some of the ones that I have read have tended to put me off reading these genre for repeated use makes them stale. I think there are some which tend to dilute the core of the story ( the mystery) for creating a much more interesting set of characters. It was after quite a few books that I came back to mystery again ( the last one being Higashino's The devotion of suspect X ). While this one did not outshine its contemporary works in any way, it sure offered me a fun filled afternoon.

The character of Bernie Rhodenbarr is by virtue of his career as a burglar, an unlikely sleuth. He does however don the deerstalker cap and goes out in search of clues to save his own liberty and reputation. It is the world of a gentleman burlgar that Lawrence Block invites us to. Bernie is not a violent thief, he prefers the five or six odd jobs a year and spend his free time in relaxation. He is the kind who lives in a respected NY high rise, relaxes with a scotch and a good book in his hand ( I have respect for a burglar who in his collection of books has Edward Gibbons's The decline and fall of the Roman Empire and The Guns of August ). He gets into a job, one thing leads to another and then we have a whodunit at our hands. There isn't blood or gore, the mystery isn't too convoluted and the dialog is witty enough that it kept me reading.

Rather than an intellectual exercise, this is the kind of mystery to spend a lazy afternoon immersed in.
Profile Image for Andrew Smith.
1,228 reviews973 followers
July 4, 2012
This is the first book in the series, but it's the last book I've read; I seem to have read the whole series in a totally random order. There are, I think, ten books in all, plus a few short stories. They all have basically the same plot. Boring? No, far from it. I love the characters in this series, it's light and funny and in Bernie Rhodenbarr I think he's created one of the very best. About time for an addition to the series I think, LB.
Profile Image for Alan (The Lone Librarian) Teder.
2,629 reviews222 followers
August 22, 2024
A Lighter Chip off the Block
Review of the LB Productions eBook (September 9, 2020) of the original Random House hardcover (1977).
We exchanged hellos and I extended a hand for a shake. This confused Loren, who looked at my hand and then began fumbling with the pair of handcuffs hanging from his gunbelt. Ray laughed. “For Chrissake,” he said. “Nobody ever puts cuffs on Bernie. This ain’t one of your mad dog punks, Loren. This is a professional burglar you got here.”

Burglars Can't Be Choosers introduces Lawrence Block's second longest running series character, the gentleman burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr. It also marked Block's breakthrough out of the pulp paperback market with his first hardcover published by Random House and then also as a Book Club Edition. Even the early Matt Scudders in 1976 were first published as Dell paperbacks. Before that there were only the dozens of pulp standalones published under pseudonyms in the light erotica and crime market.

Block developed the idea for Bernie out of an earlier short story A Bad Night for Burglars, originally published under the name Gentleman's Agreement in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine in 1977. Block himself pondered whether he should take up burglary as a side job to make ends meet while trying to make a living as an author. He then imagined being a burglar who finds a dead body while breaking into an apartment.

So that is the plot of Burglars Can't Be Choosers. Bernie takes on a commission job to locate a blue leather covered box at an apartment. Not long after he has made his search of the rolltop desk in the library, the police arrive (a neighbour had apparently reported noises) and the owner's dead body is found in the back bedroom. Bernie had been assured by his contact that the owner would be out. After attempting a bribe of the cops (shades of Matt Scudder and the corrupt NYPD days), Bernie manages to make a dash for it and hides out in a sometime friend's apartment. With a city-wide alert out for him, he has to solve the case himself before the police track him down. He suspects that he was setup as a scapegoat.


Front cover of the original 1977 Random House hardcover edition. Image sourced from Goodreads.

This first Bernie Rhodenbarr now reads a bit cringey and doesn't standup as well as the noir hardboiled world of the Matt Scudders. The wise cracking humour feels dated and the sex antics (the female characters fall for Rhodenbarr immediately) seem pulled out of Block's earlier light erotica fiction such as the Chip Harrison series (1970-75, first published under the pseudonym Chip Harrison). The final twist reveal seemed hardly necessary, but was only a way to add a bit of complexity to what otherwise would have been too straightforward.

Still it is Lawrence Block, so at least a 3-star rating for the memories and the good old days.

Trivia and Links
I read a considerable number of Lawrence Block books in my pre-GR and pre-reviewing days. Probably 40 or so out of the 100+ that are available. That included all of the Matt Scudder books, several of the Bernie Rhodenbarrs, several of the Evan Tanners, several of the Kellers, a dozen or so standalones and some of the memoirs. There were even a few of the earlier pulp novels which were originally published under pseudonyms. This re-read is part of a look back at some of those.

Lawrence Block (June 24, 1938 - ) considers himself retired these days, but still maintains an occasional newsletter with the latest issued in August 2024. He self-publishes some of his earlier works that have otherwise gone out of print, using his own LB Productions imprint. This current eBook edition of Burglars Can't Be Choosers is one of those.
Profile Image for Donna Davis.
1,923 reviews302 followers
January 29, 2019
Comic caper series, and now I may very well read all of them. I came late to this series, which was recommended to me by--I swear--my 6th grade teacher. We email each other at holiday time, and he mentioned having purchased the most recent in this successful series. I found it on kindle for three bucks, and it gave me a light alternative at a time when I had a number of heavier books on my plate.

That said, I recommend this series primarily to readers of middle age or older, because it was written a long time ago in the present tense, and younger readers may find themselves bewildered by the technology and social climate that we older readers remember quite well.

Lotsa fun.
Profile Image for Book Concierge.
3,061 reviews389 followers
October 17, 2019
3.5***

This is the first in the series starring Bernie Rhodenbarr, a professional burglar with loads of charm. He’s successful and has an apartment in a nice building on the upper West Side, where he’s known as a good neighbor. He never burgles in his neighborhood, is methodical in his planning, quickly fences his take and lives a quiet life. He also always works alone. Until now. When he’s approached by a stranger offering a significant fee if he’ll retrieve a certain blue leather box, Bernie’s curious and agrees. Seems like a simple job. But the box isn’t where it should be, while a body is … and so are the police.

I love this series, and this is a second reading, though I didn’t remember any of the plot, so the twists were all a surprise to me. I like Bernie as a character. He’s smart and nonviolent. He has a way with the ladies, but he’s a gentleman, through and through. The plots are intricate and the supporting characters a delight. I love his cop “friend” Ray Kirschman – honest, though not above taking a little cash to look the other way. And I love the way Block writes about New York City; I really feel as if I’m walking the streets right along with Bernie.
Profile Image for Marty Fried.
1,204 reviews121 followers
September 10, 2019
At first, I was worried I wouldn't like this, but decided to give it a try. I'm glad I did. It was a quick, light read, interesting, funny, and a good mystery.

Bernie Rhodenbarr is a burglar. He's a likeable guy (unless he robs you, of course), lives a fairly quiet life in Manhattan in an apartment with a view, and considered honest in most ways, even by the cops that know him. He's good at picking locks, and very careful, except he sometimes has lapses like when he rang the doorbell to make sure nobody was home, but the doorbell didn't work. In this one, he didn't check the place well first, and there was an apparent dead guy in the bedroom. He gets caught, and the cops finger him for the murder, so he needs to find out what really happened.

It was a fun read, and almost nobody got hurt.
Profile Image for Laura.
862 reviews335 followers
July 11, 2018
I've read many of the books in this series, but for some reason, I'd never read the first one. This was probably my least favorite of them all, as Bernie (the burglar of the title) hasn't yet bought his antiquarian bookstore and we've not yet met the recurring secondary characters I really enjoy.

But I definitely recommend the series if you're looking for a (mostly) light, sometimes humorous, escape type crime novel without any gore or much violence. Which I seem to be addicted to lately.
Profile Image for Lance Charnes.
Author 7 books94 followers
July 4, 2015
Readers wanting to follow the exploits of a bad-boy lead character usually have to choose between hit men, fixers, or other hard cases who generally seek to solve problems through the application of force. Back in the late 1970s, however, Lawrence Block introduced a less-bad bad boy: gentleman burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr, who debuted in this novel just a year after Block's other best-known series character, alcoholic ex-cop Matthew Scudder.

In this story, Bernie accepts a job burgling an Upper East Side apartment. It turns out the flat is minus the thing to be burgled, but instead features a dead person. Our Hero becomes a suspect in the murder and, natch, has to clear his name by fingering the real culprit.

Bernie is neither a dashing cat burglar nor a criminal mastermind. He's a relatively average bloke with an encyclopedic knowledge of locks and a very workmanlike approach to his vocation. Bernie's easy to get along with, personable, opinionated, with a clear eye for the other characters and the world they live in. He's good company, usually does things that normal human beings in his position might do, and stays in character throughout. The story is told through his eyes and voice; as first-person narrators go, he's quite normal except for his occupation.

Written in 1977, Bernie's (like Scudder's) New York City is the pre-cleanup, pre-Disneyfication version. Bernie tends to take more time describing interiors rather than exteriors. It's unclear whether this is Bernie's kink or the author's, but the upshot is that you'll no have problem visualizing the rooms Bernie moves through and little idea what the city surrounding them looks like. Luckily, Bernie notices clothing more than architecture, so you'll not want for knowing what the other characters are wearing.

If so much is going right, why only three stars?

The first big problem is Ruth, the comely young lady who drops in on Bernie's post-escape hideout and stays on to aid his effort to solve the murder. She seems more a device than a character: chipper, selflessly helpful, easy to get into bed (Bernie has an eye for the ladies) and ever-present. She so obviously has an agenda that it's amazing (and difficult to believe) that a supposedly smart operator such as Bernie doesn't recognize it or wonder why she's doing all this. The explanation she eventually gives him is unlikely enough that you have to wonder why Bernie accepts it as readily as he does. At no point did I ever believe in Ruth as a real person.

The other major letdown is the general ordinariness of the story. There's nothing particularly distinctive about Bernie's voice; the murder-blackmail-false identity plot isn't anything revolutionary; there are few twists or surprises. Less than a month after finishing it, I struggle to remember much about it. It was pleasant enough to read while it was in front of me, and perhaps that's all it's meant to be.

Burglars Can't be Choosers isn't a bad story, nor is it a great one. Perhaps someone more into traditional detective stories will find it agreeable; if so, there are ten more installments in the series to be had. For now, I'll give it three stars and maybe give Bernie another whirl sometime down the road.
Profile Image for Richard.
2,288 reviews176 followers
Read
October 29, 2024
Love Lawrence Block's writing; read a few Matthew Scudder, pure delight.
Devoured all Keller's Hits, a contract killer shouldn't be compulsive reading.
Never let it be said I'd just jump into another series. So, with 10 plus books available (more titles have been released and further short stories collected along the way as is the author's MO, let's read them in sequence. The bonus being that they are collected in 2 volumes so you can ensure you have all of them to hand. The additional bonus is that by reading the first one you get to read a brief note from the author about how he came to write his new protagonist Bernie Rhodenbarr and come up with a workable title.
This is great insight for a fan. Who would have thought that this author would have Writer's Block?
A story that is very much a crime mystery as any of his detective novels. When our burglar is asked to break in to a specific apartment only for the cops to show up he can't help but feel he's been set up. When the cops discover a dead body, he flees the scene and is now wanted for first degree murder.
A great thriller full of suspense and a shared journey to find out who killed the guy. Block says the humour came as part of the writing process and bears all the qualities of his natural writing style. We quickly warm to the bungling thief and his powers to search for truth and to clear his name.
Some of his idiosyncrasies are seemingly tied up in his ability to solve this complex set of circumstances. As a lock has tumblers that need to fall into place to spring the lock, so his brain slowly lets the events and characters tumble over in his mind to gain insight and clarity.
I am completely sold on this new series and as pointed out delighted I have 9 other books I am keen now to read -obviously in a strict order mind. Plus, The Burglar Who Counted the Spoons (Number 11) and other shorts like The Burglar Who Dropped in on Elvis - I'm in reader's heavenly library.
Profile Image for Jim.
Author 7 books2,084 followers
October 23, 2014
Block has a very low-key voice in his books & this audio was well done by Adams Morgan - the voice fits Bernie Rhodenbarr perfectly. Bernie is a nice guy who is just trying to get by in NYC like everyone else. His profession is as a burglar & he's a pretty good one, well liked by his neighbors ("Who cares if you take from the rich east side? You don't steal around here.") & the cops, who know he is reasonable about splitting profits.

He has a good thing going until his job is connected to a murder. Then Bernie has to figure out who the murderer is or else he's going to go away for it & he doesn't want to go back to prison again. He did that once & it just isn't his style. The company is atrocious.

The murder mystery is convoluted & wrapped up nicely at the end. A sharp reader can probably pick up all the clues & solve parts, but Bernie holds back a little to give the end a bit of twist.

Fun, but nothing remarkable. Great to listen to on my commute. On to the next!
Profile Image for Robert.
827 reviews44 followers
July 2, 2017
So Block has three major series: Scudder the alcoholic detective, Keller the professional killer and Rhodenberry the burglar who solves murders. The impression I have is that I've written them out in order of decreasing popularity, which turns out to be the inverse of how much I like them.

It was a bit of a surprise, then, for me to re-read this and discover that Bernard Rhodenberry isn't all that likeable a guy. He's sexist, mildly homophobic and a thief. Block makes him sympathetic (or at least tries to) by having him be funny, honest about his motivations, averse to violence almost to the point of cowardliness (additionally hating guns) and someone who only steals from the rich - even though there's no giving to the poor involved, as well as making him the victim of false murder charge.

Somehow it works; I'm rooting for Bernie to solve the murder and clear his name.

Our society is changing fast by the way; this is the mid-nineties for Bernard and there are no mobile phones, nobody has heard of the internet - in fact computers are never even mentioned - and these facts stand out like an elephant in a high street, giving things a quaint air of past times that are not even a 1/4 century past.
Profile Image for Mike.
1,223 reviews170 followers
April 27, 2016
A 3 Star quickie, throwback to the '70's when you needed a phone book to find out how to call someone. Bernie is a "professional" burglar and takes pride in it. No violence, only hit up the folks who can afford to lose. Much fun, some good twists and some clean, off the stage sex. You know, back when romantic trysts were hinted at, had to use your imagination, no full frontal exposure! Take a few hours off and pick this one up.
Profile Image for Oliver Clarke.
Author 96 books1,928 followers
February 27, 2023
Highly entertaining comic mystery. Bernie is a pretty wonderful character
Profile Image for George K..
2,732 reviews366 followers
March 18, 2015
Είναι το πρώτο βιβλίο της σειράς με ήρωα τον Μπέρνι Ρόντενμπαρ και το πρώτο βιβλίο του Λόρενς Μπλοκ που διαβάζω. Και σίγουρα έμεινα ευχαριστημένος.

Ο Μπέρνι Ρόντενμπαρ είναι ένας τζέντλεμαν διαρρήκτης, άσος στο ν'ανοίγει κλειδαριές, όσο καλές και δύσκολες και αν είναι αυτές. Φυσικά έχει μια κάποια τιμιότητα, πάντα παίρνει τηλέφωνο ή χτυπάει το κουδούνι όταν είναι να ληστέψει ένα διαμέρισμα και ποτέ δεν κάνει άνω κάτω το διαμέρισμα για να βρει αυτό που θέλει.

Όσον αφορά την ιστορία μας: Ένας τύπος τον βρίσκει και του ζητάει να διαρρήξει ένα σπίτι, με σκοπό να βρει ένα μπλε κουτί σε μέγεθος βιβλίου. Του δίνει προκαταβολή χίλια δολάρια και θα του έδινε άλλα τέσσερα όταν θα γινόταν η δουλειά και θα συναντιόνταν σε κάποιο μέρος. Ο ένοικος του σπιτιού θα έλειπε σε μια κοινωνική εκδήλωση και ο Μπέρνι είχε όλο το χρόνο δικό του για να βρει το μπλε κουτί. Εύκολη δουλειά γι'αυτόν.

Μπαίνει λοιπόν στο διαμέρισμα, πάει στο γραφείο όπου του είπαν ότι θα έβρισκε το κουτί, δεν βρίσκει τίποτα, και σκέφτεται τι να κάνει. Ώσπου ξαφνικά μπαίνουν δυο αστυνομικοί μέσα στο διαμέρισμα, που τους κάλεσε ένας γείτονας γιατί είχε ακούσει φασαρία από το διαμέρισμα αυτό. Βέβαια ο Μπέρνι ποτέ δεν έκανε φασαρία...

Το λοιπόν, ο ένας αστυνομικός είναι γνωστός του Μπέρνι και συμφωνούν να μην πει κανείς τίποτα, έτσι ο Μπέρνι δίνει το ένα χιλιάρικο στους αστυνομικούς. Μόνο που λίγο πριν φύγουν, ο δεύτερος αστυνομικός πάει στην τουαλέτα για την ανάγκη του, στο φευγιό στρίβει σε λάθος διάδρομο, και αντί για το σαλόνι βρίσκεται στην κρεβατοκάμαρα του σπιτιού, όπου βρίσκει ένα πτώμα, που είναι βέβαια του ένοικου του σπιτιού. Τρέχει αμέσως στο σαλόνι, το αναφέρει στον άλλο αστυνομικό, και λιποθυμάει... Ο Μπέρνι πανικοβάλλεται, πράγμα σπάνιο, απωθεί τον αστυνομικό που πήγε να τον πιάσει, και την κάνει από κει.

Έτσι αρχίζει η όλη ιστορία και ο Μπέρνι αναρωτιέται αν του την έκανε ο τύπος που τον προσέλαβε και αρχίζει να ψάχνει, με μια κοπέλα που γνωρίζει στο μεταξύ, για το ποιος και γιατί σκότωσε τον ένοικο του σπιτιού όπου ο Μπέρνι ήταν μέσα και έκλεβε. Οι αποκαλύψεις στο τέλος είναι καλές και ανατρεπτικές.

Γενικά είναι ένα ευχάριστο αστυνομικό μυθιστόρημα, που δεν σε αγχώνει ούτε σε κάνει να αγωνιάς αλλά όσο να'ναι ένα μυστήριο υπάρχει, η γραφή είναι εξαιρετική, άμεση, με ωραίο χιούμορ και η ατμόσφαιρα είναι πολύ ωραία. Επίσης διαβάζεται πολύ γρήγορα, εύκολα και με ενδιαφέρον.
Profile Image for Dave.
3,599 reviews436 followers
July 26, 2017
“Burglars Can’t Be Choosers,” first published in 1977, was the first of eleven “burglar” books published over the next two and a half decades. It is a crime fiction story that follows the old pulp classic theme of a man on the run from the law after being suspected of a murder he didn’t commit. Yet, it cannot be described as a hardboiled story. It is not dark and gloomy as most crime fiction is, but somehow light and humorous as bizarre as that sounds. Block, who is most well known for his Matt Scudder series, featuring a cynical, former police officer who nearly drinks himself into oblivion, purposefully fashioned the burglar series as something far different –perhaps more irreverent, more silly, more accessible.

This story is terrific and Bernie Rhodenbarr is a hell of a burglar. Yes, that is what he does for a living, although he is not a vicious, violent kind of burglar. He would prefer to burgle your home when you are not at home so as not to trouble you. He has fairly friendly relations with the local officers who know him on a first name basis, but he is a whiz with his tools and there is no lock that he can’t pick. His luck and his karma are not to be trusted, however. And, even though he is the most excellent burglar you will ever find, he often breaks into an apartment and doesn’t realize that there is a body in the bedroom, one still oozing blood all over the floor. At least in this story he doesn’t realize that the body is there until the police find him in the apartment. Is it just bad luck? Has he been set up? Why is he a convenient fall guy?
Profile Image for Sid Nuncius.
1,127 reviews123 followers
June 20, 2020
I enjoyed Burglars Can’t Be Choosers very much. It’s an involving read with genuine wit and some real content in places, too.

Written and set in 1977, Bernie Rhodenbarr is a “gentleman burglar” in New York. While burgling an apartment he is first surprised by the police and then by the discovery of a body, recently murdered. The story is then of Bernie trying to find enough evidence to convince the police that he isn’t the killer. It’s a well put-together plot which does require considerable suspension of disbelief – but that’s just fine by me because it’s very well written, very entertaining and has some quite thoughtful moments, too; for example, some speculation about the nature of honesty and integrity when considering a policeman who will cheerfully accept a bribe from someone he considers harmless but would never dream of not sharing it with his partner or failing to keep his word.

There is a moral problem, of course, in accepting the idea of a “gentleman burglar.” Anyone who has been burgled will tell you that it’s not the remotest bit funny or romantic. There are also some rather pre-feminist attitudes and a pretty loose approach to the Sixth Commandment, but it’s all pretty mild compared with a good many 1977 views. Personally, I’m fine with it all in this context; it’s a lighthearted book and I’m prepared to be lighthearted in return.

I’m very much looking forward to reading the rest of this series and I can warmly recommend Burglars Can’t Be Choosers.
Profile Image for K.
1,030 reviews31 followers
April 13, 2018
A great author? Check.
An entertaining protagonist? Check.
Twists and turns in the agreeable plot? Check.
What's not to love?

This, the first of the Bernie Rhodenbarr series by Lawrence Block, was terrifically entertaining. The plot is primarily geared to be lighthearted, fitting a gentleman burglar who abhors firearms or violence. No, Bernie Rhodenbarr is clever, humorous, and prefers to steal from those "momsers" on the East Side while living quietly and politely in more modest accommodations.

He manages to get into all kinds of trouble, and this story has him looking like he's freturning to prison or sure (he's previously served an 18 month stint). But with the help of a very attractive young woman and his own incredibly agile mind, Bernie solves the murder mystery, brings justice to bear while absolving himself of the charges, and gets not only one, but two very interesting female companions in the mix.

If you like some humor and fast-paced dialogue worthy of an Abbot & Costello routine, you'll enjoy this book. Bernie doesn't take himself or life too seriously, and neither will the reader while relaxing in the world set up by Block and this rather happy-go-lucky burglar. The series continues with all sorts of mischief and I recommend it highly. Enjoy.
Profile Image for Ensiform.
1,509 reviews147 followers
March 26, 2013
Bernie Rhodenbarr, a dapper and skilled burglar with a taste for fine things and no propensity for violence, is found by the police in a Manhattan apartment which is not his own, with the legal occupant in the next room bludgeoned to death. He flees the scene and hides out in a friend’s building, where he meets a suspiciously helpful girl who urges him to find the real killer. Tracking down the man who apparently framed him, Bernie gets caught up in a scheme involving blackmail, kinky sex, and lots of money.

This is Lawrence’s more light-hearted series, the flip side of Matt Scudder’s gritty rough justice, and it’s an enjoyable “noir lite” leavened with wit and humor, courtesy of Bernie’s wry, self-effacing narration. The mystery is clever, and although one of the twists requires a rather far-fetched coincidence (of all the apartment buildings in all of New York, she had to walk into mine…), but the solution to the main whodunit was a pleasant surprise. Bernie is a sympathetic character because he’s intelligent and benevolently self-serving, so I’m not surprised Block went on to write a number of sequels.
Profile Image for Ramazan Atlen.
116 reviews8 followers
December 20, 2023
İlk defa 2015'te okumuşum. Aradan 8 yıl geçince pek çok ayrıntıyı unutmuşum. Ama cinayetin çözümünü, katille ilgili sürprizi hiç unutmadım. Bana o zamanlar çok çarpıcı gelmişti. Hala da öyle. Üstelik bir kilitli oda öyküsüne ilham da verdi.

Umduğunu Değil Bulduğunu Yiyen Hırsız, Bernie Rhodenbarr serisinin ilki. Kitabın sonundaki yazıda Block bu serinin nasıl doğduğunu anlatıyor. İlk kitaptan sonra devamını yazmak aklının ucundan bile geçmiyormuş meğer. Üstelik dosyayı tamamladığında bile katilin kim olacağından emin değilmiş, kitabı ithaf ettiği iki arkadaşından biri söylemiş katili, yazar da ona göre kurgulamış.

Bernie hapisten yeni çıkmış, iflah olmaz bir hırsız. Geçinmek için çalıyor ama hırsızlık onun için bir tutku aynı zamanda. Küçük bir kutuyu çalmak için girdiği evi polisler basıyor, bir de bakıyorlar ki odalardan birinde ölü bir adam var. Suç Bernie'ye kalınca masumiyetini ispatlamak için cinayeti çözüyor.

Cinayetin gerekçesi ve işlenişi makul ve bir hayli şaşırtıcı. Olay örgüsü, fazlasıyla karmaşık ve evet bazı yerlerde tesadüflere dayanıyor. Ama yine de Lawrence Block'un alameti farikası olan uzun, eğlenceli diyaloglarıyla keyifli bir kaçış vaat ediyor.
Profile Image for Mark.
402 reviews9 followers
March 13, 2017
I liked the set up for this novel, which introduces us to Bernie Rhodenbarr, a mild-mannered burglar minding his own business (generally speaking) in NYC. Bernie is another bad-guy protagonist created by Lawrence Block, who seems to have a knack for generating likable lead character criminals. In this debut, Bernie goes against his instincts and takes on a contract burglary; he's paid $5,000 by a stranger (who happens to know his profession) to steal a blue velvet box (contents unknown) from a rich man's study. Bernie breaks in but there's no velvet box. The cops show up and find the rich man dead in the bedroom. Bernie bolts, and now must find the killer to prove his innocence. So the story becomes a murder mystery, but as things develop it gets a little convoluted for my tastes. I've never been a big fan of whodunits. A nice quick read though, and Bernie is funny guy. It doesn't take long before you're rooting for him. I'll have to track down Book #2 and decide if this series is for me.
Profile Image for Kathy.
3,820 reviews287 followers
January 9, 2018
I got one of those "Goodreads Deals" emails pitching a good price on the second Rhodenbarr book of the "gentleman burglar" series by Lawrence Block, so I bit. But then I wanted to read the first in the series where Bernie is introduced to the reader so I bought that one as well, also a good price. I appreciate being able to find books written in the 70's that may be hard to find otherwise.
This kindle book also has the Author's story of writing the book on a road trip from NYC to California with stops on the way.
I believe I tried one of these at some point and didn't like it compared to Scudder and Keller. I did enjoy this book.
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