The Men in My Life

by Vivian Gornick

In this new collection, the author turns her attention to another large theme in literature: the struggle for the semblance of inner freedom. Great literature, she believes, is not the record of the achievement, but of the effort.

Gornick, who emerged as a major writer during the second-wave feminist movement, came to realize that "ideology alone could not purge one of the pathological self-doubt that seemed every woman's bitter birthright." Or, as Anton Chekhov put it so memorably: "Others made me a slave, but I must squeeze the slave out of myself, drop by drop." Perhaps surprisingly, Gornick found particular inspiration for this challenge in the work of male writers -- talented, but locked in perpetual rage, self-doubt, or social exile. From these men -- who had infinitely more permission to do and be than women had ever known -- she learned what it really meant to wrestle with demons. In the essays collected here, she explores the work of V. S. Naipaul, James Baldwin, George Gissing, Randall Jarrell, H. G. Wells, Loren Eiseley, Allen Ginsberg, Hayden Carruth, Saul Bellow, and Philip Roth. Throughout the book, Gornick is at her best: interpreting the intimate interrelationship of emotional damage, social history, and great literature.

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Literary Criticism, Criticism, Writing, Audiobook, Biography

216 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2008

About the author

Vivian Gornick is the author of, among other books, the acclaimed memoir Fierce Attachments and three essay collections: The End of the Novel of Love, Approaching Eye Level, and, most recently, The Men in My Life. She lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Márcio · Rating 5 out of 5]

One may wonder how an author who is usually remembered as a radical feminist decided to write a book about the men in her life. But don't get it wrong, this is an outstanding book about literature and some of the male authors who helped shape Gornick's style. In her own words,

If, indeed, criticism is autobiography, this book, then, is a collection of essays written in appreciation of the working lives of literary men by a woman whose critical faculties have been shaped by a passion for literature, a hard-won knowledge of inborn anxiety, and a compelled devotion to liberationist politics. It is this last, I think, that is most responsible for the perspective vital to the making of these essays. The re-awakening in my late youth of the centuries-long struggle for women’s rights clarified the intimate relation between literature, emotional damage, and social history; made evident to me the organic nature of all that is meant by the word “culture.” It is my great hope that the reader will experience the development of this perspective as I have: as an enrichment of the writing and reading experience.

Since I read Gornick's The odd woman and the city, I simply fell in love with her capacity of writing about complex themes in such beautiful prose, mixing her analyses with her memories, with such wisdom, but also a candor hard to see these days. She is someone who has eyes to see and thus see, ears to hear and thus hear, mouth to speak and thus speak, a great mind and thus express herself. Believe me: these are not easy to achieve for quite a while for most people. Vivian does it with profoundness and beauty.

[julieta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vivian Gornick is a dream teacher, every time I read her, I see more things happening in all texts, not just the ones she speaks of in these wonderful essays. Her thoughts are always kind of electrifying, she's pretty great. I had read some of them, since they have been published in other books, but this compilation is also great. Raymond Carver, Saul Bellow, Allen Ginsberg, VS Naipaul, Phillip Roth, HG Wells, all discussed by her are taken to a new level.

[Mari Butler · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title of the book, The Men In My Life, by Vivian Gornick mislead me to think that it would be a tell-all of various romantic encounters experienced by the author. Upon receiving it from Amazon, I found that it was instead a collection of essays about the literary men who influenced Gornick in her own writings. I surprised myself by my enjoyment of delving into the private lives of these early 20th Century writers. Most, if not all of these men struggled with low self-esteem, self-doubt and the need to be understood and appreciated for their contributions. Gornick speaks of the women in their lives and how they informed these prolific authors who although liberally minded were for the most part sexists. I admit that most of these authors were unknown to me; the exception being H.G. Wells and Allen Ginsberg. With her detailed portrayals, Gornick has the ability to make the reader feel as if we really know these men intimately. My favorite would be Loren Eiseley – anthropologist and poet. I learned how Eiseley rode the rails as a young drifter during the depression and how he realizes that a successful career and family cannot alter his loneliness which ultimately consumes him. Like Gornick I would like to be able to write such interesting details culled from research.

[Oni · Rating 4 out of 5]

Behind that deceptive title are eight pieces of great literary criticism. For the men in Vivian Gornick's life that get attention in this work are Philip Roth and Saul Bellow, V.S. Naipaul and James Baldwin, Raymond Carver, Richard Ford, and Allen Ginsberg, to name just a few. When asked in an interview why these writers, why her focus on loneliness, Gornick answered that:

We live in a world, in a culture that has misused the word loneliness. Our culture seems to be explaining itself in terms of a flight from loneliness. The question that interests me and many others is an old one: Who is there in the room when you are alone? What is it you're fleeing when you're fleeing loneliness? Are you fleeing the fact that you can't deal with yourself? You're not able to occupy your own skin? The writers in these essays all raise these questions for me.

I am one of those who read literary criticism for pleasure and I truly believe that great literary criticism can transcend its genre and the narrow lens through which many regard it. And Gornick's work does transcend the genre. I've fallen in love with her voice and this love is not conditioned by or based on constant agreement. In fact, I often disagree with her, partly or completely. But I'm amazed by her depth and her sharpness. The manner in which she inhabits literature. Her clarity and integrity when writing, her refusal to allow both love and disapproval of an author's work to cloud her judgement, the edginess of both her compliments and her "accusations". For instance, she acknowledges V.S. Naipaul as a literary genius, one giving himself fully to both fiction and journalism, bringing to the genre "an extraordinary capacity for making art out of lucid thought". She believes though that his bleakness, his social critique that "uniformly withholds empathy", his refusal of tenderness, and of "putting a good face on things" will lead to a diminishing readership in the future.

Vivian Gornick - a highly original voice whose prominence and influence will, I hope, only increase with time.

[Steve Turtell · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there is a better critic writing today please let me know who it is. I'm playing catch-up with Gornick, but that just means I have a lot of great reading ahead of me. She astonishing.

[Derek · Rating 4 out of 5]

On this short essay collection Gornick demonstrates her talent for accessible literary criticism. Her Roth critique is probably the most important essay here. I love the way Gornick’s works of literary criticism, feminist theory, women’s history, and memoir all seem to be informed by one another. Only bell hooks offers something similar.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

So fresh. The kind of writing that makes a reader want to queue up her oeuvre and consume it all. Smart and accessible.

[Trin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gornick discusses some of the male authors who have influenced her, and in particular influenced her own feminist thought. These essays are sharp and incisive as usual, and Gornick makes some really compelling points (and paints compelling portraits of her men) but this isn't her most memorable book.

[Lesley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why have I not read any Vivian Gornick before? (actually, think she may be represented in some of the 70s anthologies of feminist writing on my shelves, but still.)

[N. N. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is great criticism. The essays on H. G. Wells and "Tenderhearted Men" are especially great. The one on Saul Bellows and Phillip Roth seemed like it would be tiresome when it started, but the finish was fantastic. The only essay I didn't like was the one on V. S. Naipul and James Baldwin, which seemed like it was going to be really insightful at first and then failed to deliver.

There are certain domains in which almost everything is at least reasonably good. Food is like this. Some food is great, some food is terrible, most food is pretty good. I, personally, think music is like this. There are other sorts of things where the average quality is quite low, but the best work is excellent. Social science is one example. You shouldn't just decide to believe something because a social scientist (or many social scientists, or the great majority of social scientists) believe it. But the best works of social science are great. Evidently, critics whose writing gets described as "necessary" are like this. Most of these people are terrible. But some—like Gornick—are very, very good.

[Eivor Runde Barlaug · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vennlig påminnelse til alle i feeden om at det er synd på deg om du ikke har fått lest Vivian Gornick

[Wendy Liu]

(some overlap with the end of the novel of love)

[Pamela]

I read this as a two-fer with Gornick's Approaching Eye Level. I always want to read everything Gornick has to say about literature, and was delighted to find that she devotes a substantial piece to George Gissing, a non-household-name who is one of my favorites. "Saul Bellow, Philip Roth, and the End of the Jew as Metaphor" is a significant contribution to understanding the cultural moment in which those writers became influential, and the odd replacement over time, in their work, of resentment of the gentile with resentment of the female. The essays in this collection by and large feel journalistic, not as in-depth as I might have wished--but surely that's because at least some of them were written for periodical publication. I wish Gornick had chosen to expand a few for book form.

[Fang · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do not recall how this book ended up in my hand some 5 days ago. What I do remember is that the entire inner self of mine was shivering in resonance after reading the first few pages of the preface. Through the voice of Vivian Gornick, I saw me. Along with the sense of protagonist gone the unbearable feeling of estrangement from the world. And for the first time in years, I was able to bring together the many seemingly disconnected parts buried deep within myself.

This is a book rooted in efforts measured in lifetimes to reach for inner freedom. If you're in any way still wrestling with some persistent inner demons, this will be the book for you too.

[Bridgett · Rating 4 out of 5]

After just missing Vivian Gornick at AWP last weekend, I hungrily read this book on the plane home from Boston. If there is a smarter critic than Gornick, I'd like to meet, or better yet, read her. Yes, I did write "her." Gornick is one of my favorite authors because she writes a beautiful sentence and her intellect stuns. Her love of reading, writing, and discussing literature shines in these wonderful essays of literary criticism.

[P · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gornick's feminism demands an engagement with how male intellectuals struggled within the confines of patriarchy. It's refreshing to read because her critical enjoyment of each distinct authorial voice is alive on the page.

[Ville Verkkapuro · Rating 4 out of 5]

A truly wonderful collection of literature essays by Vivian Gornick, who is already one of my favourite writers, though I haven't read anything else than her essays so far. But I will read her other stuff very soon, too! I know already that I will love them.
This worked on multiple levels: it gave a glimpse into the world and values of Gornick. Wonderful, different approaches on the craft, I especially loved the depictions of how V. S. Naipaul sees writing, very relatable – language is the enemy! That's how I feel, often: find the clearest, straightest way to describe it, don't hide behind the language. Sometimes I feel that great language is a way to cover something up. Of course that's not the case usually. But sometimes it might be and every time I'm very suspicious if it sounds... too good.
I'm not sure how much I will remember from this later on, but I love that it has filtered through me and I had a great time with this.
This book didn't teach me how to write, but why to write.

[Bonnie G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether or not one agrees with her observations on literature I cannot imagine anyone not acknowledging Gornick's brilliance She has written some of my favorite pieces of cultural criticism (though our politics differ wildly.) Gornich is stunningly well-read and has the ability to see what literature says about America. This collection is brilliant. My personal favorite essays are the one on Saul Bellow and Philip Roth (anyone who struggles with the misogyny of these extraordinary writers will want to read this) and the essay on Andre Dubus, Raymond Carver and Richard Ford. With respect to many of the male authors covered here Gornick does a great job of burrowing into their perceptions of and reflections on women and what it says about them and about their historical moment. This is a brief volume that I tucked in and out of over a series of months and I wholeheartedly recommend it for anyone who loves literature, especially 20th century literature.

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I so enjoyed this book. I share the notion that some of the most important men in my life have been writers and characters, some long dead. I enjoyed Vivian Gornick's reflections on reading these writers. I discovered writers I'd like to read, like George Gissing. I loved her analysis of Raymond Carver, of Philip Roth and Saul Bellow. These essays were sharp, funny. I loved learning the insights of another reader, a spirit kindred to my own. I especially enjoyed the lens of gender with which she analyzed many of these writers. I didn't agree with some of her reflections on James Baldwin, however. I don't hold with the notion (popular with his contemporaries) that his later works are lesser.
I enjoyed listening to this and pausing to write down authors and phrases. I didn't love the narrator's voice as much as I enjoyed hearing Gornick read her work in her own voice, though.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this. The author writes about 10 literary men whose worked moved her in one way or another. She writes plainly, quickly, and thoughtfully to reveal some unique aspects of the lives of the authors: George Gissing, H. G. Well, Loren Eisely, Randell Jarrell, Saul Bellow, Philip Roth, Allen Gisburg, Raymond Carver, Andre Dubus, Richard Ford, James Baldwin, V. S. Naipal. It made me appreciate some different aspects of their writing - but also to look at all writing from a little different perspective.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

My God, this woman can write. Here’s just one gem from this little gem of a book:
“...dug as deep as he could, came up with all that he knew and all that he would not know, and offered it to the reader out of a hard-won understanding that to shape a piece of experience is to hold back the chaos. That extraordinary effort is what we call self-creation.”

[Andrew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gornick is brilliant. If you care about the work of George Gissing (new to me), VS Naipaul, James Baldwin, Randall Jarrell, HG Wells, Loren Eiseley (also new to me), Allen Ginsberg, Hayden Carruth (thank you Gornick for introducing me to his work!), Saul Bellow, or Philip Roth, her light remains bright.

[Rachel Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant collection of essays. Vivian Gornick at her best, with searing and meaningful insights about several of my favorite writers (Raymond Carver, Andre Dubus and James Baldwin) while also delving into the sour, misogynistic writing of Roth (which helped me understand why I always bristled against his work.) A small treasure that one can consume in an afternoon and digest over a lifetime.

[Belle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish I could read, write and analyse like Vivian Gornick.

[Paloma Maza · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leí este libro con la intención de motivarme a salir de mi racha de leer a puras mujeres y sí funcionó :)

[Annabelle]

i need to stop fooling myself into believing i really enjoy reading criticism

[Elevate Difference · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very wise man once said: "Normal love isn’t interesting. I assure you that it’s incredibly boring." Though this person was referring to the type of love that can sometimes exist between two living people, I’ve always thought it could be applied elsewhere as well. Love has no boundaries, after all.

The bulk of my friends and I find our true love and lust in the seat of a movie house. We immerse ourselves in the minds and bodies of passionate cinematic auteurs of the new, old, and very old. Other people I know sit in museums day after day, hour after hour, and stare at various sculptures, relics, and canvasses in the hope of uncovering their secrets and forming a deeper connection between themselves and the art. We're all connected to different things for different reasons, no matter how crazy it might seem to someone who doesn’t understand that kind of ardor.

For Vivian Gornick, the author of The Men in My Life, her loyalties have always lain with the written word, the great literature of the past and present whose characters and craftsmanship speak directly to her soul. Gornick's solitary relationship with words coupled with her political sensibilities has reared its beautiful head on more than one occasion in her own work. In her most famous book, The End of the Novel of Love, Gornick analyzed the very essence and idea of love in the form of literature. She is a devout feminist and liberal who places incalculable thought into what she sees, hears, and most importantly, feels.

As far as literary criticism goes, The Men in My Life feels kind of like a harmonious valentine to many of the world’s most significant male authors—from the likes of H.G. Wells to Allen Ginsberg to Saul Bellow. Through nine different chapters and essays (and an insightful preface), Gornick examines their work and the men themselves in an effort to shine a light on some of the more troublesome traits and tendencies they possess. She looks at Bellow and Phillip Roth through a feminist lens, and exposes the inherent misogyny of their work. My favorite essay, "H.G. Wells: The Beginning of Wisdom," takes a look at the man behind the pen by studying his kooky autobiography, along with the person who wrote it. Like all of the essays, it is both joyful and edifying.

Though I'm only familiar with half of the authors Gornick analyzes, she skillfully related all of her ideas and theories to me in a way that never felt patronizing. It's clear that this book is a true labor of love, and her enthusiasm shows throughout the text. Gornick may disagree with some of the author’s ideologies, but her earnest appreciation for the work outweighs most of their foibles. Like the many friends Gornick has made with the authors and their characters, I'm sure I'll return to The Men in My Life several times because of its insightful view on life, literature, and humanity.

Review by Sara Freeman

[Caroline · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gornick came up again recently in the New Inquiry's essay on aloneness (http://thenewinquiry.com/essays/the-l...) but I bought this because it's tender of Gornick the feminist to write a collection of essays about the men she loves:

"Raymond Carver, Richard Ford and Andre Dubus are neither sexists nor misanthropes. On the contrary, tenderness of the heart is their signature trait. These men share an acute sense of the compatriot nature of human suffering. Their women are fellow victims." (152)

And, always, read Gornick for the big swaths of text she quotes: HG Wells in Love, Carver's Toni and Leo, and James Baldwin.

[Estelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

No, it's not a romantic novel. Gornick writes about male authors who have meaning for her, some she re-reads annually. The essays on H.G.Wells, Philip Roth, Saul Bellow and V.S. Naipal are particularly insightful.