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You Can't Drive Your Car to Your Own Funeral
You have reached a milestone in your life when the fire department is on standby as you blow out your birthday candles. If you have pondered going to heaven but without dying, this book is for you! As Father Ralph Pfau said, "You can't be a good egg all your life. You either have to hatch or go bad." Adventure into one courageous woman's journey through later life as seen through her daughter's eyes. Unique in every way, this woman operated completely without filter, remained in denial about her cancer diagnosis, and challenged the prognosis and thoughts of doctors, nurses, family, and friends. Written from the heart, Ann Marie Hancock shares her experiences in loving and caring for her mother through the heartaches and the joys and the times of laughter and sadness.
97 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 23, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
March 13, 2019
Ann Marie Hancock’s delightful meditation on caretaking and self-discovery titled, “You Can’t Drive Your Car To Your Own Funeral” is a treasure trove of personal stories packed with wisdom, prayers and loving guidance. The former journalist and Virginia-based television personality, wife, and mother of three has written a masterpiece of a book that details her own experiences as a caretaker for the sick and infirmed. It depicts the deeply intimate and personal stories of the author’s spiritual encounters while caring for her mother and father, and includes many of the lessons she has lived and learned. This is a most hopeful and optimistic book about how we must strive to care for the ones we love, even when it hurts. If you have a sick parent or loved one, Ann Marie Hancock’s book is a must-read.
The author begins by comparing our own suffering to Christ’s death on the cross and reminds us that we all have the ability to reflect, pray and administer healing to those who are suffering. But the main focus in this remarkable book is her mother’s battle with cancer and other afflictions and how she learned, little by little and day by day, how to best care for “Mama.” Ann Marie’s mother was a fiercely independent and deeply private product of the World War II generation (much like her father, who died suddenly and unexpectedly), who could be downright difficult to love and take care of. Through her own search for answers, the reader slowly but surely becomes a co-caretaker, of sorts.
This is a book full of bible scripture, stories of God’s love and even suggested prayers for the benefit of anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation caring for an ailing parent or family member. Through her stories and prayers “Mama” becomes a familiar and lovable figure, along with the other members of the Hancock family. Time after time, Ann Marie searches her heart and soul for the best ways to deal with her mother’s health issues, despite her mother’s protestations, idiosyncratic and difficult behavior. Through all of it, Ann Marie is steadfast and strong and always seems to find high ground on which to stand.
You will be emotionally moved by the stories this born storyteller weaves and laugh and cry along with Ann Marie through the good times and bad. With plenty of practical advice on caretaking and “planning for the inevitable,” this book is essential reading for everyone. In the end, faith, hope and love are victorious and you will emerge stronger, smarter and better equipped to care for those who are suffering and so badly need your care. Truly exceptional reading!
The author begins by comparing our own suffering to Christ’s death on the cross and reminds us that we all have the ability to reflect, pray and administer healing to those who are suffering. But the main focus in this remarkable book is her mother’s battle with cancer and other afflictions and how she learned, little by little and day by day, how to best care for “Mama.” Ann Marie’s mother was a fiercely independent and deeply private product of the World War II generation (much like her father, who died suddenly and unexpectedly), who could be downright difficult to love and take care of. Through her own search for answers, the reader slowly but surely becomes a co-caretaker, of sorts.
This is a book full of bible scripture, stories of God’s love and even suggested prayers for the benefit of anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation caring for an ailing parent or family member. Through her stories and prayers “Mama” becomes a familiar and lovable figure, along with the other members of the Hancock family. Time after time, Ann Marie searches her heart and soul for the best ways to deal with her mother’s health issues, despite her mother’s protestations, idiosyncratic and difficult behavior. Through all of it, Ann Marie is steadfast and strong and always seems to find high ground on which to stand.
You will be emotionally moved by the stories this born storyteller weaves and laugh and cry along with Ann Marie through the good times and bad. With plenty of practical advice on caretaking and “planning for the inevitable,” this book is essential reading for everyone. In the end, faith, hope and love are victorious and you will emerge stronger, smarter and better equipped to care for those who are suffering and so badly need your care. Truly exceptional reading!
March 19, 2019
A real insight into caring for a loved one with compassion and the strength of God.
Ann Marie Hancock, the author of this book is a retired television personality, talk show host and model, but she is also a wife, mother, grandmother and daughter. In this, her third book she shares with her readers how she had a life changing experience in 1981, when she visited the Medjugorji in Yugoslavia.
Her experiences at Medjugorji led her to travelling the world, and carrying out healing services with a Benedictine Abbot.
Then in 2012 her strong, independent, and very private mother was diagnosed with cancer. Stoic and determined that it wouldn’t change her the ‘c’ word was not even spoken, let alone discussed. This was how she coped, if she didn’t say it, it didn’t exist. However, tragically not long after she started undergoing treatment, her husband died expectantly.
Everyone copes with grief in their own way, and now alone after many years of marriage, the author’s mother remained strong and controlling. In this honest and sometimes heart rending book the author, through her recollections of this terribly sad period of her life gives her reader a real insight into the strong character her mother was. Forthright, not suffering fools lightly, and certainly not being told what to do, or when to do it. I have a mother much of the same ilk and I am full of admiration for the way the author handled the multitude of events which occurred, and yet stayed loving and caring.
It was Ann Marie’s belief in God which was her strength, and this enabled this wound healer to face her greatest challenge yet. Because in caring for her mother and coming to terms with tragic events in her own life she embarked on a different journey, a journey of the spirit.
Through God and the teaching of the bible Ann Marie learnt to accept who she was, and come to the realisation that finding spiritual happiness is a life’s journey. That knowledge she imparts in this book, teaching the reader that the paths which they travel along in life are their own uniquely special journey. Along the route of life they will be tested, and will gain strength in accepting God’s will, even if they don’t understand it at the time. This epic spiritual journey is one which must be travelled alone. It is not about what others think you should do, or impressions you are given, your unique life events make you who you are, and the repercussions on your life evolve and change as you do. Depending on what life throws at you, these challenges empowers you to develop strengths, understanding, and happiness. It is easy in life to blame others when things don’t go as expected, get angry, put up a guard, however once you learn to listen to God, and take time to pray and talk to him, amazing things will be revealed, and you will realise that it is in your power to find true happiness, and inner peacefulness.
In conclusion, Ann Marie has in this beautiful story shared a hard, yet very special time of her life with her readers. Within its pages is a very clear insight into the strength needed emotionally to care for someone with a terminal illness.
Ann Marie Hancock, the author of this book is a retired television personality, talk show host and model, but she is also a wife, mother, grandmother and daughter. In this, her third book she shares with her readers how she had a life changing experience in 1981, when she visited the Medjugorji in Yugoslavia.
Her experiences at Medjugorji led her to travelling the world, and carrying out healing services with a Benedictine Abbot.
Then in 2012 her strong, independent, and very private mother was diagnosed with cancer. Stoic and determined that it wouldn’t change her the ‘c’ word was not even spoken, let alone discussed. This was how she coped, if she didn’t say it, it didn’t exist. However, tragically not long after she started undergoing treatment, her husband died expectantly.
Everyone copes with grief in their own way, and now alone after many years of marriage, the author’s mother remained strong and controlling. In this honest and sometimes heart rending book the author, through her recollections of this terribly sad period of her life gives her reader a real insight into the strong character her mother was. Forthright, not suffering fools lightly, and certainly not being told what to do, or when to do it. I have a mother much of the same ilk and I am full of admiration for the way the author handled the multitude of events which occurred, and yet stayed loving and caring.
It was Ann Marie’s belief in God which was her strength, and this enabled this wound healer to face her greatest challenge yet. Because in caring for her mother and coming to terms with tragic events in her own life she embarked on a different journey, a journey of the spirit.
Through God and the teaching of the bible Ann Marie learnt to accept who she was, and come to the realisation that finding spiritual happiness is a life’s journey. That knowledge she imparts in this book, teaching the reader that the paths which they travel along in life are their own uniquely special journey. Along the route of life they will be tested, and will gain strength in accepting God’s will, even if they don’t understand it at the time. This epic spiritual journey is one which must be travelled alone. It is not about what others think you should do, or impressions you are given, your unique life events make you who you are, and the repercussions on your life evolve and change as you do. Depending on what life throws at you, these challenges empowers you to develop strengths, understanding, and happiness. It is easy in life to blame others when things don’t go as expected, get angry, put up a guard, however once you learn to listen to God, and take time to pray and talk to him, amazing things will be revealed, and you will realise that it is in your power to find true happiness, and inner peacefulness.
In conclusion, Ann Marie has in this beautiful story shared a hard, yet very special time of her life with her readers. Within its pages is a very clear insight into the strength needed emotionally to care for someone with a terminal illness.
March 28, 2019
A Guidebook for That “Difficult” Dear One
This is an engaging book. The author, Ann Marie Hancock, is a retired television personality who has spent much of her life on a deeply spiritual personal journey. In her third book, “You Can’t Drive Your Car To Your Own Funeral” she takes us on an introspective and scripturally rich tour of the last two years of her mother’s life.
Hancock’s mother, especially after her cancer diagnosis, was that “difficult” relative we have all encountered, prone to judgement and mood swings. She carried a cane with a rapier in it (which she thankfully never used). She would belittle and bully her daughter and anyone else who dared to love and care for her. She took sides in every family squabble, and tended to hold grudges.
In other words, the author’s mom could be a mean, cantankerous old lady.
The wonderful thing about this book is the way the author clearly sees and understands her mother’s challenges, without excusing them, and treats them with unflagging love; “I was convinced a long time ago that Mama’s hang-ups and long verbal accusations came from pain. If she misinterpreted something or heard it the way she defined it in her mind in any given moment, and based on her mood at the time, she learned to attack. The attacks became a pattern of learned behavior.”
The book has a slightly stream-of-consciousness structure, skipping around in time as if the ideas are simply popping into the author’s head. This goes just far enough that I found it charming, yet never confusing. There are notes of humor; “It should be noted here that some days Mom would opt to skip her medication and have a Manhattan. That was her own mother’s drink.”
“You Can’t Drive Your Car To Your Own Funeral” is a quick, entertaining, and enlightening read, one in which every reader is likely to see someone they know - or maybe someone they are.
This is an engaging book. The author, Ann Marie Hancock, is a retired television personality who has spent much of her life on a deeply spiritual personal journey. In her third book, “You Can’t Drive Your Car To Your Own Funeral” she takes us on an introspective and scripturally rich tour of the last two years of her mother’s life.
Hancock’s mother, especially after her cancer diagnosis, was that “difficult” relative we have all encountered, prone to judgement and mood swings. She carried a cane with a rapier in it (which she thankfully never used). She would belittle and bully her daughter and anyone else who dared to love and care for her. She took sides in every family squabble, and tended to hold grudges.
In other words, the author’s mom could be a mean, cantankerous old lady.
The wonderful thing about this book is the way the author clearly sees and understands her mother’s challenges, without excusing them, and treats them with unflagging love; “I was convinced a long time ago that Mama’s hang-ups and long verbal accusations came from pain. If she misinterpreted something or heard it the way she defined it in her mind in any given moment, and based on her mood at the time, she learned to attack. The attacks became a pattern of learned behavior.”
The book has a slightly stream-of-consciousness structure, skipping around in time as if the ideas are simply popping into the author’s head. This goes just far enough that I found it charming, yet never confusing. There are notes of humor; “It should be noted here that some days Mom would opt to skip her medication and have a Manhattan. That was her own mother’s drink.”
“You Can’t Drive Your Car To Your Own Funeral” is a quick, entertaining, and enlightening read, one in which every reader is likely to see someone they know - or maybe someone they are.
April 27, 2019
‘Life is short and full of wrinkles’
Virginia author Ann Marie Hancock, the retired well-known television personality, model and talk show host, now has gifted the world with a memorable book about her mother’s life journey as she faced cancer, and in doing so Ann Marie offers a wise, warm, and at times humorous message about living life to its fullest. She has garnered many awards for her contributions to humanity, is a popular speaker, and has also written BE A LIGHT MIRACLE AT MEDJUGORIE and WAKE UP, AMERICA.
The tone of this valuable book is set with her opening comment: ’ I have written YOU CAN’T DRIVE YOU CAR TO YOUR OWN FUNERAL with complete dedication, commitment, and the hope that you will find loving solutions to the stressful challenges of caring for a ‘difficult’ dear one…We all have a difficult person in our lives. This creates stress and stress changes the chemical structure of the cells, creating illness and disease…One can only conclude that it is imperative to deal with conflict in a positive, loving way…we want to send love as we would like to receive it. We need to send our uplifting, healing words; we surely all need them.’
Ann Marie shares her religious experiences that prepared her for facing her ‘in control’ mother’s diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma, a status her mother termed ‘No big deal.’ We’re not talking about it. We are moving on.’ Having her own history of severe medical problems in many ways prepared her for her stoic mother’s denial of the threat of advanced cancer. The loss of her father after her mother’s surgeries added to the milieu, and though shaken, her mother ‘soldiered on.’ Concurrently Ann Marie suffered a fall resulting in severe hip pain and dysfunction. Through her mother’s subsequent added surgeries, radiation, scans and all the paraphernalia accompanying metastatic carcinoma ‘mama’ remained stoic and independent, electing to consider her diagnosis and treatments as ‘No big deal.’ The role of caretaker was lovingly offered, if not always accepted.
‘Sickness involves humility and accepting help from those who love you. Mom really struggled with this.’ And so did Ann Marie, and her dealing with a strong-willed mother brought constant reinforcement to her spiritual faith in God. Or as she shares, ‘Everything is in our computers, and it begins in the womb. The little or big messages crop up during our lives to test us and see how we are progressing. We either fold or smile and remember who we are – children of God, all of us.’
And so we learn about Ann Marie’s life and trials and the manner in which she cared for her iron-willed mother, suffering her own medical problems and finding an even stronger connection to her faith. This rich journey she shares with photographs of her family – her mother, husband, children, church – and the result is a tribute to love and faith and perseverance. This book is a ‘from the heart’ blooming of love and faith – an end-of-the-tunnel light for all of us. Highly Recommended.
Virginia author Ann Marie Hancock, the retired well-known television personality, model and talk show host, now has gifted the world with a memorable book about her mother’s life journey as she faced cancer, and in doing so Ann Marie offers a wise, warm, and at times humorous message about living life to its fullest. She has garnered many awards for her contributions to humanity, is a popular speaker, and has also written BE A LIGHT MIRACLE AT MEDJUGORIE and WAKE UP, AMERICA.
The tone of this valuable book is set with her opening comment: ’ I have written YOU CAN’T DRIVE YOU CAR TO YOUR OWN FUNERAL with complete dedication, commitment, and the hope that you will find loving solutions to the stressful challenges of caring for a ‘difficult’ dear one…We all have a difficult person in our lives. This creates stress and stress changes the chemical structure of the cells, creating illness and disease…One can only conclude that it is imperative to deal with conflict in a positive, loving way…we want to send love as we would like to receive it. We need to send our uplifting, healing words; we surely all need them.’
Ann Marie shares her religious experiences that prepared her for facing her ‘in control’ mother’s diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma, a status her mother termed ‘No big deal.’ We’re not talking about it. We are moving on.’ Having her own history of severe medical problems in many ways prepared her for her stoic mother’s denial of the threat of advanced cancer. The loss of her father after her mother’s surgeries added to the milieu, and though shaken, her mother ‘soldiered on.’ Concurrently Ann Marie suffered a fall resulting in severe hip pain and dysfunction. Through her mother’s subsequent added surgeries, radiation, scans and all the paraphernalia accompanying metastatic carcinoma ‘mama’ remained stoic and independent, electing to consider her diagnosis and treatments as ‘No big deal.’ The role of caretaker was lovingly offered, if not always accepted.
‘Sickness involves humility and accepting help from those who love you. Mom really struggled with this.’ And so did Ann Marie, and her dealing with a strong-willed mother brought constant reinforcement to her spiritual faith in God. Or as she shares, ‘Everything is in our computers, and it begins in the womb. The little or big messages crop up during our lives to test us and see how we are progressing. We either fold or smile and remember who we are – children of God, all of us.’
And so we learn about Ann Marie’s life and trials and the manner in which she cared for her iron-willed mother, suffering her own medical problems and finding an even stronger connection to her faith. This rich journey she shares with photographs of her family – her mother, husband, children, church – and the result is a tribute to love and faith and perseverance. This book is a ‘from the heart’ blooming of love and faith – an end-of-the-tunnel light for all of us. Highly Recommended.
May 3, 2019
A Holistic, Uplifting and Christian Guide for the Caretaker
Ann Marie Hancock’s new book is one part memoir, one part caretaker’s guide, and one part spiritual guidebook, giving the reader a well-rounded holistic sense of their duties. Caring for your elderly and/or terminal loved one is a tough subject to write about, one that can be depressing at best. But Hancock’s refreshing take on this topic leaves the reader feeling not only well-informed, but uplifted. I even laughed out loud in several parts. For example, when her mother (in her nineties) refused to give up her car and offered to drive Ann someplace, she ran through two red lights. When Ann mentioned it, her mother replied, "Don’t worry, your dad used to do it all the time.”
While Ann knew she was loved, her mother wasn’t one to ever apologize or offer those much sought after words “I love you.” So when Ann had to give up three years of her life to care for her, it was a challenge on all levels. Made up of the stubborn, strong-willed ilk of those who survived the war years, Ann’s mom both denied the existence of her cancer and resisted any help. Even several serious surgeries, the sudden death of her husband, and the severity of her pain wasn’t enough for her to give in to Ann’s caring intentions. So it was a battle the entire way, to make sure her mom stayed safe and well cared-for.
What I loved the most about this book was Ann’s quiet determination to love her mother. Facing her own health issues at the same time, Ann had to dig deep to realize that her strength was going to come from God alone. And this path was hers to take. It was up to her whether she would face it with grace or bitterness.
She says: “Surely, we have all asked at different times in our lives, ‘Why me? No one escapes the treachery of sickness and pain. Anyone present at these times can be a target and temporarily claim victim status. But this serves no one. Love requires patience and true confidence, which is faith.”
Ann digs deep into her faith and shares her thoughts, short prayers, and small stories from a journal she kept during the three-year journey she was on with her mother. I appreciated her reminder that God and His angels are watching over us, and that we are capable and loved simply because we are His children.
“We are all victims of victims,” Ann says, recognizing the shortcomings in her adult character and wounds from her childhood were due to the environment her mother grew up in.
In this book, she leaves us with a rich reminder that we are not yet at our destination. “Earth is not our home but a stopping place to be used wisely and lovingly on our journey back to God.”
We will all be in Ann’s place one day, or her mother’s. This book will help us get it right. This book left me with a feeling of hope, peace, and a sense that when I have to travel along a similar path—whether for myself or those I love—that I have a choice in how I do it. And I hope when the time comes, like Ann, I choose love.
Highly recommended.
Ann Marie Hancock’s new book is one part memoir, one part caretaker’s guide, and one part spiritual guidebook, giving the reader a well-rounded holistic sense of their duties. Caring for your elderly and/or terminal loved one is a tough subject to write about, one that can be depressing at best. But Hancock’s refreshing take on this topic leaves the reader feeling not only well-informed, but uplifted. I even laughed out loud in several parts. For example, when her mother (in her nineties) refused to give up her car and offered to drive Ann someplace, she ran through two red lights. When Ann mentioned it, her mother replied, "Don’t worry, your dad used to do it all the time.”
While Ann knew she was loved, her mother wasn’t one to ever apologize or offer those much sought after words “I love you.” So when Ann had to give up three years of her life to care for her, it was a challenge on all levels. Made up of the stubborn, strong-willed ilk of those who survived the war years, Ann’s mom both denied the existence of her cancer and resisted any help. Even several serious surgeries, the sudden death of her husband, and the severity of her pain wasn’t enough for her to give in to Ann’s caring intentions. So it was a battle the entire way, to make sure her mom stayed safe and well cared-for.
What I loved the most about this book was Ann’s quiet determination to love her mother. Facing her own health issues at the same time, Ann had to dig deep to realize that her strength was going to come from God alone. And this path was hers to take. It was up to her whether she would face it with grace or bitterness.
She says: “Surely, we have all asked at different times in our lives, ‘Why me? No one escapes the treachery of sickness and pain. Anyone present at these times can be a target and temporarily claim victim status. But this serves no one. Love requires patience and true confidence, which is faith.”
Ann digs deep into her faith and shares her thoughts, short prayers, and small stories from a journal she kept during the three-year journey she was on with her mother. I appreciated her reminder that God and His angels are watching over us, and that we are capable and loved simply because we are His children.
“We are all victims of victims,” Ann says, recognizing the shortcomings in her adult character and wounds from her childhood were due to the environment her mother grew up in.
In this book, she leaves us with a rich reminder that we are not yet at our destination. “Earth is not our home but a stopping place to be used wisely and lovingly on our journey back to God.”
We will all be in Ann’s place one day, or her mother’s. This book will help us get it right. This book left me with a feeling of hope, peace, and a sense that when I have to travel along a similar path—whether for myself or those I love—that I have a choice in how I do it. And I hope when the time comes, like Ann, I choose love.
Highly recommended.
April 27, 2019
I received a copy of this book for review, and started reading it immediately. It's a topic many of us can relate to - caring for an aging parent through their illnesses and decline. The author writes with compassion and relies on her faith heavily to guide her through this difficult transition. Her mother was rather crabby, unappreciative and difficult to communicate with. She denied the severity of her illnesses and often refused help. She wouldn't stop driving even though she was in very bad shape, and she refused in-home care. Nevertheless, the author remained patient and kind with her mother even when the kindness wasn't acknowledged or appreciated.
In spite of the powerful message of unconditional love, I couldn't finish the book. It reads more like a journal of random thoughts than a memoir, and I found the frequent insertion of prayers and calls to religion and Biblical references excessive. The memoir also jumped around in time, was repetitive, and sometimes changed tenses from sentence to sentence. The pdf copy I received is only 104 pages in length including preface, intro and acknowledgements, and it seemed that the author was trying to stretch it to book length. It seems like a rough draft that could be improved with the help of a skillful editor.
Some of the ruminations didn't make sense to me; such as: "Everything is in our computers, and it begins in the womb. The little or big messages crop up during our lives to test us and see how we are progressing. We either fold or smile and remember who we are—children of God, all of us." I really can't decode this...
The memoir also included pictures of the author at various times during her career, but sometimes with no context for why they were included. Some didn't seem to have anything to do with caring for her mother.
The author is definitely a skillful writer, and this memoir shows much promise; but, in my view, it's not yet ready for publication.
In spite of the powerful message of unconditional love, I couldn't finish the book. It reads more like a journal of random thoughts than a memoir, and I found the frequent insertion of prayers and calls to religion and Biblical references excessive. The memoir also jumped around in time, was repetitive, and sometimes changed tenses from sentence to sentence. The pdf copy I received is only 104 pages in length including preface, intro and acknowledgements, and it seemed that the author was trying to stretch it to book length. It seems like a rough draft that could be improved with the help of a skillful editor.
Some of the ruminations didn't make sense to me; such as: "Everything is in our computers, and it begins in the womb. The little or big messages crop up during our lives to test us and see how we are progressing. We either fold or smile and remember who we are—children of God, all of us." I really can't decode this...
The memoir also included pictures of the author at various times during her career, but sometimes with no context for why they were included. Some didn't seem to have anything to do with caring for her mother.
The author is definitely a skillful writer, and this memoir shows much promise; but, in my view, it's not yet ready for publication.
May 14, 2019
“None of us can escape our humanity.”
Isn’t that the truth and it’s even truer when you have lost someone that you love. Families can be complicated and we can all probably understand what’s it’s like dealing with a difficult family member. For Ann Marie Hancock, this family member came in the form of her mother who not only had cancer but was someone who was difficult to deal with. I loved how she imparted knowledge on how to keep your sanity in difficult situations.
I may have enjoyed the book more because I’m a Christian, so I enjoyed the faith-based writing that Ann presented. It reminded me of my own faith and why I am a believer. Ann presents many lessons throughout her book including one on self-love that anyone, regardless of their religion can benefit from.
I love the humor in her book, it’s something that I relate very much to in my life and I enjoyed Ann’s humor as she talked about her mother. Even though she is talking about the passing of a loved one, she managed to have a great sense of humor about everything that she experienced.
It’s a heartfelt story that will have you appreciating even the most difficult family members. Highly recommended.
Isn’t that the truth and it’s even truer when you have lost someone that you love. Families can be complicated and we can all probably understand what’s it’s like dealing with a difficult family member. For Ann Marie Hancock, this family member came in the form of her mother who not only had cancer but was someone who was difficult to deal with. I loved how she imparted knowledge on how to keep your sanity in difficult situations.
I may have enjoyed the book more because I’m a Christian, so I enjoyed the faith-based writing that Ann presented. It reminded me of my own faith and why I am a believer. Ann presents many lessons throughout her book including one on self-love that anyone, regardless of their religion can benefit from.
I love the humor in her book, it’s something that I relate very much to in my life and I enjoyed Ann’s humor as she talked about her mother. Even though she is talking about the passing of a loved one, she managed to have a great sense of humor about everything that she experienced.
It’s a heartfelt story that will have you appreciating even the most difficult family members. Highly recommended.
April 24, 2019
We all have that difficult loved one. Sometimes it’s a sibling who can’t seem to get on the right path, other times it’s a grandparent who doesn’t seem to know what is and is not appropriate to say in public. For Ann Marie Hancock, this difficult loved one was her independent, stubborn, and cancer-riddled mother. In her book, You Can’t Drive Your Car to Your Own Funeral, Hancock recounts not only her personal experiences surviving and loving this challenging relative but also her advice for keeping one’s sanity intact during any exhausting situation life throws at us.
I must start by saying that I am not Christian; at best, I’m agnostic. For this reason, the preaching based on faith in the Judeo-Christian God sometimes grated on my nerves, as it would with any other non-Christian reader. However, that does not mean that I disliked the book or found it not worth the time spent reading it. Rather, I found within the Christian context many lessons which would benefit readers of any religion. The most important of these, I believe, is the lesson of self-love. Many of us, especially caregivers, care far too much about what others need and think of us; our own needs and well-being fall through the cracks, and eventually we are of no help to anyone. This book reminds readers to not take what other people think so personally and to focus on the one person’s thoughts and reactions we actually can control: ours. From there, according to Hancock, we can serve God and our fellow human beings as best we can.
The most unique aspect of this guide has to be its humor. Many, if not most, books about dying loved ones always have a tinge of sadness even within the humor. Hancock, though, manages to maintain a healthy sense of humor throughout her writing which reads not as sad or even nostalgic but accepting of what has passed. The author clearly misses her mother, of course, but she has a way of approaching the subject that does not negatively affect the reader’s mood. Instead, these tales and the advice they convey are uplifting, assuring readers that even when loved ones are gone, they are in a better place without suffering and they will always live in our memories. Sometimes the most hilarious or cringe-worthy memories—or a combination thereof—can be the strongest.
Overall, Hancock’s work has a lot of good points to make about life, love, self-care, and faith. Even though the Christian teachings will test non-Christian readers’ patience, the messages within these teachings are universal, and those who have to live day after day with…sometimes unpleasant loved ones would do well to listen to them regardless of their personal faith. The book does ramble at points and use a clearer organizational structure, but most readers will just enjoy the humor and heartfelt messages between these pages.
I must start by saying that I am not Christian; at best, I’m agnostic. For this reason, the preaching based on faith in the Judeo-Christian God sometimes grated on my nerves, as it would with any other non-Christian reader. However, that does not mean that I disliked the book or found it not worth the time spent reading it. Rather, I found within the Christian context many lessons which would benefit readers of any religion. The most important of these, I believe, is the lesson of self-love. Many of us, especially caregivers, care far too much about what others need and think of us; our own needs and well-being fall through the cracks, and eventually we are of no help to anyone. This book reminds readers to not take what other people think so personally and to focus on the one person’s thoughts and reactions we actually can control: ours. From there, according to Hancock, we can serve God and our fellow human beings as best we can.
The most unique aspect of this guide has to be its humor. Many, if not most, books about dying loved ones always have a tinge of sadness even within the humor. Hancock, though, manages to maintain a healthy sense of humor throughout her writing which reads not as sad or even nostalgic but accepting of what has passed. The author clearly misses her mother, of course, but she has a way of approaching the subject that does not negatively affect the reader’s mood. Instead, these tales and the advice they convey are uplifting, assuring readers that even when loved ones are gone, they are in a better place without suffering and they will always live in our memories. Sometimes the most hilarious or cringe-worthy memories—or a combination thereof—can be the strongest.
Overall, Hancock’s work has a lot of good points to make about life, love, self-care, and faith. Even though the Christian teachings will test non-Christian readers’ patience, the messages within these teachings are universal, and those who have to live day after day with…sometimes unpleasant loved ones would do well to listen to them regardless of their personal faith. The book does ramble at points and use a clearer organizational structure, but most readers will just enjoy the humor and heartfelt messages between these pages.
May 12, 2019
To love and understand someone regardless of knowing how they were raised is a gift not many of us have been able to possess. If learning about another’s childhood alter your behavior or feelings towards them? We go on with the notion that everyone is going through something and we should all be a bit kinder, as there are unseen battles faced constantly. In knowing the environment everyone has been brought up in, can we agree that we are indeed stronger than assumed? Death is of the inevitable, but we continue moving forward so that we don’t miss out on wonderful experiences life has to offer us.
In “You Can’t Drive Your Car to Your Own Funeral,” Ann Marie Hancock welcomes her readers into her world as a supportive passenger as she ventures through her life alongside her dear parents. Both her mother and father come from very different backgrounds, one that Ann isn’t knowledgeable in, but treats their individual personalities with the utmost gentle care. When her mother was diagnosed with cancer, it was sad news that took a toll over the whole family, meanwhile, her own mother shrugged it off as it not being much of a big deal. Accompanying Ann as she takes on the role of her mother’s caretaker, she describes all that she’s been feeling and from a fellow sensitive being, it showed true bravery. Such patience, loving gentleness, and lots of prayers, she was able to make the very best of comforts no matter how much her mother had put up a fight. In the end, Ann handled everything all out of love. Although the fear of the unknown was clear, it didn’t stop her for putting on a brave face each and every chance she got to see and spend time with her mother.
Reading this book provided me with an understanding from another kindred soul because all she encouraged was to love more, do more for others in need, and always keep God first. It truly opened my eyes to know just how much our problems or struggles didn’t matter, love was and is everything. It was a grateful experience to read about the author’s life. May God keep you and your family under His protection. I highly recommend this book to everyone, there’s a lesson there for everyone.
In “You Can’t Drive Your Car to Your Own Funeral,” Ann Marie Hancock welcomes her readers into her world as a supportive passenger as she ventures through her life alongside her dear parents. Both her mother and father come from very different backgrounds, one that Ann isn’t knowledgeable in, but treats their individual personalities with the utmost gentle care. When her mother was diagnosed with cancer, it was sad news that took a toll over the whole family, meanwhile, her own mother shrugged it off as it not being much of a big deal. Accompanying Ann as she takes on the role of her mother’s caretaker, she describes all that she’s been feeling and from a fellow sensitive being, it showed true bravery. Such patience, loving gentleness, and lots of prayers, she was able to make the very best of comforts no matter how much her mother had put up a fight. In the end, Ann handled everything all out of love. Although the fear of the unknown was clear, it didn’t stop her for putting on a brave face each and every chance she got to see and spend time with her mother.
Reading this book provided me with an understanding from another kindred soul because all she encouraged was to love more, do more for others in need, and always keep God first. It truly opened my eyes to know just how much our problems or struggles didn’t matter, love was and is everything. It was a grateful experience to read about the author’s life. May God keep you and your family under His protection. I highly recommend this book to everyone, there’s a lesson there for everyone.
May 12, 2019
Anne Marie Hancock writes an inspirational account of her experience as her mother’s caretaker in her book titled You Can’t Drive Your Car to Your Own Funeral. When the author’s mother is diagnosed with cancer and appears to be in denial, she become her mother’s advocate and caregiver. Following the loss of her father, her mother chooses to continue to live alone and cope with loss and illness on her own terms.
The author and her husband do all that they can to show love and support to her mother, but her mother didn’t make it easy. During her childhood the relationship between mother and daughter was not filled with lots of hugs and comfort. In fact, Hancock presents her mother as a “get over it” type of person with an incredibly short temper. The stories she tells of incidents with her mother are as much humorous as heartbreaking. What helped the author make it through the angry quips and watching her mother suffer in pain was her relationship with God. Throughout the book she refers to moments in prayer when she is stressed out, tired, and afraid.
Through self-examination and divine revelation, Hancock realizes that her mother’s anger was not specifically pointed at her, she just happened to be in the line of fire. At some point she realizes that her mother’s anger was driven by fear. Through constant prayer and holding on to precious moments when her mother released her anger and fear if for only a moment, she remained by her mother’s side.
This book serves as a wonderful resource for caretakers and anyone dealing with a “difficult” loved one during times of illness. I admire the author’s willingness to share such a personal story to not only give caregiving tips, but also to remind others that love prevails over anger and fear.
The author and her husband do all that they can to show love and support to her mother, but her mother didn’t make it easy. During her childhood the relationship between mother and daughter was not filled with lots of hugs and comfort. In fact, Hancock presents her mother as a “get over it” type of person with an incredibly short temper. The stories she tells of incidents with her mother are as much humorous as heartbreaking. What helped the author make it through the angry quips and watching her mother suffer in pain was her relationship with God. Throughout the book she refers to moments in prayer when she is stressed out, tired, and afraid.
Through self-examination and divine revelation, Hancock realizes that her mother’s anger was not specifically pointed at her, she just happened to be in the line of fire. At some point she realizes that her mother’s anger was driven by fear. Through constant prayer and holding on to precious moments when her mother released her anger and fear if for only a moment, she remained by her mother’s side.
This book serves as a wonderful resource for caretakers and anyone dealing with a “difficult” loved one during times of illness. I admire the author’s willingness to share such a personal story to not only give caregiving tips, but also to remind others that love prevails over anger and fear.
January 10, 2020
Good book
Author talks about caring for her often difficult mother during her terminal journey with cancer. I had a similar experience with my mother. She gives good advice on how to cope.
Author talks about caring for her often difficult mother during her terminal journey with cancer. I had a similar experience with my mother. She gives good advice on how to cope.
Read
March 9, 2019‘Life is short and full of wrinkles’
Virginia author Ann Marie Hancock, the retired well-known television personality, model and talk show host, now has gifted the world with a memorable book about her mother’s life journey as she faced cancer, and in doing so Ann Marie offers a wise, warm, and at times humorous message about living life to its fullest. She has garnered many awards for her contributions to humanity, is a popular speaker, and has also written BE A LIGHT MIRACLE AT MEDJUGORIE and WAKE UP, AMERICA.
The tone of this valuable book is set with her opening comment: ’ I have written YOU CAN’T DRIVE YOU CAR TO YOUR OWN FUNERAL with complete dedication, commitment, and the hope that you will find loving solutions to the stressful challenges of caring for a ‘difficult’ dear one…We all have a difficult person in our lives. This creates stress and stress changes the chemical structure of the cells, creating illness and disease…One can only conclude that it is imperative to deal with conflict in a positive, loving way…we want to send love as we would like to receive it. We need to send our uplifting, healing words; we surely all need them.’
Ann Marie shares her religious experiences that prepared her for facing her ‘in control’ mother’s diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma, a status her mother termed ‘No big deal.’ We’re not talking about it. We are moving on.’ Having her own history of severe medical problems in many ways prepared her for her stoic mother’s denial of the threat of advanced cancer. The loss of her father after her mother’s surgeries added to the milieu, and though shaken, her mother ‘soldiered on.’ Concurrently Ann Marie suffered a fall resulting in severe hip pain and dysfunction. Through her mother’s subsequent added surgeries, radiation, scans and all the paraphernalia accompanying metastatic carcinoma ‘mama’ remained stoic and independent, electing to consider her diagnosis and treatments as ‘No big deal.’ The role of caretaker was lovingly offered, if not always accepted.
‘Sickness involves humility and accepting help from those who love you. Mom really struggled with this.’ And so did Ann Marie, and her dealing with a strong-willed mother brought constant reinforcement to her spiritual faith in God. Or as she shares, ‘Everything is in our computers, and it begins in the womb. The little or big messages crop up during our lives to test us and see how we are progressing. We either fold or smile and remember who we are – children of God, all of us.’
And so we learn about Ann Marie’s life and trials and the manner in which she cared for her iron-willed mother, suffering her own medical problems and finding an even stronger connection to her faith. This rich journey she shares with photographs of her family – her mother, husband, children, church – and the result is a tribute to love and faith and perseverance. This book is a ‘from the heart’ blooming of love and faith – an end-of-the-tunnel light for all of us. Highly Recommended.
Virginia author Ann Marie Hancock, the retired well-known television personality, model and talk show host, now has gifted the world with a memorable book about her mother’s life journey as she faced cancer, and in doing so Ann Marie offers a wise, warm, and at times humorous message about living life to its fullest. She has garnered many awards for her contributions to humanity, is a popular speaker, and has also written BE A LIGHT MIRACLE AT MEDJUGORIE and WAKE UP, AMERICA.
The tone of this valuable book is set with her opening comment: ’ I have written YOU CAN’T DRIVE YOU CAR TO YOUR OWN FUNERAL with complete dedication, commitment, and the hope that you will find loving solutions to the stressful challenges of caring for a ‘difficult’ dear one…We all have a difficult person in our lives. This creates stress and stress changes the chemical structure of the cells, creating illness and disease…One can only conclude that it is imperative to deal with conflict in a positive, loving way…we want to send love as we would like to receive it. We need to send our uplifting, healing words; we surely all need them.’
Ann Marie shares her religious experiences that prepared her for facing her ‘in control’ mother’s diagnosis of squamous cell carcinoma, a status her mother termed ‘No big deal.’ We’re not talking about it. We are moving on.’ Having her own history of severe medical problems in many ways prepared her for her stoic mother’s denial of the threat of advanced cancer. The loss of her father after her mother’s surgeries added to the milieu, and though shaken, her mother ‘soldiered on.’ Concurrently Ann Marie suffered a fall resulting in severe hip pain and dysfunction. Through her mother’s subsequent added surgeries, radiation, scans and all the paraphernalia accompanying metastatic carcinoma ‘mama’ remained stoic and independent, electing to consider her diagnosis and treatments as ‘No big deal.’ The role of caretaker was lovingly offered, if not always accepted.
‘Sickness involves humility and accepting help from those who love you. Mom really struggled with this.’ And so did Ann Marie, and her dealing with a strong-willed mother brought constant reinforcement to her spiritual faith in God. Or as she shares, ‘Everything is in our computers, and it begins in the womb. The little or big messages crop up during our lives to test us and see how we are progressing. We either fold or smile and remember who we are – children of God, all of us.’
And so we learn about Ann Marie’s life and trials and the manner in which she cared for her iron-willed mother, suffering her own medical problems and finding an even stronger connection to her faith. This rich journey she shares with photographs of her family – her mother, husband, children, church – and the result is a tribute to love and faith and perseverance. This book is a ‘from the heart’ blooming of love and faith – an end-of-the-tunnel light for all of us. Highly Recommended.
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