You Never Know: A Memoir

by Tom Selleck

There are many miles from the business school and basketball court at the University of Southern California to 50 million viewers for the final episode of a TV show called Magnum P.I. Tom Selleck has lived every one of those miles in his own iconoclastic and joyful way. Frank, funny and open-hearted , You Never Know is an intimate memoir from one of the most beloved actors of our time, the highly personal story of a remarkable life and thoroughly accidental career. In his own voice and uniquely unpretentious style, the famed actor brings readers on his uncharted but serendipitous journey to the top in Hollywood, his temptations and distractions, his misfires and mistakes and, over time, his well-earned success. Along the way, he clears up an armload of misconceptions and shares dozens of never-told stories from all corners of his personal and professional life. His rambunctious California childhood. His clueless arrival as a good-looking college jock in Hollywood (from the Dating Game to the Fox New Talent Program to co-starring with Mae West and escorting her to black-tie social functions). What it was like to emerge as a mega-star in his mid-thirties and remain so for decades to come, an actor whose authenticity and ease in front of the camera connected with audiences worldwide while embodying and also redefining the clichés of onscreen manhood. In You Never Know, Selleck recounts his personal friendships with a vivid army of A-listers, everyone from Frank Sinatra to Carol Burnett to Sam Elliott, paying special tribute to his mentor James Garner of The Rockford Files, who believed, like Selleck, that TV protagonists are far more interesting when they have rough edges. He also more than tips his hat to the American western and the scruffy band of actors, directors and other ruffians who helped define that classic genre, where Selleck has repeatedly found a happy home.  Magnum fans will be fascinated to learn how Selleck put his career on the line to make Thomas Magnum a more imperfect hero and explains why he walked away from a show that could easily have gone on for years longer. Hollywood is never easy, even for stars who make it look that way. In You Never Know, Selleck explains how he’s struggled to balance his personal and professional lives, frequently adjusting his career to protect his family’s privacy and normalcy. His journey offers a truly fresh perspective on a changing industry and a changing world. Beneath all the charm and talent and self-deprecating humor, Selleck’s memoir reveals an American icon who has reached remarkable heights by always insisting on being himself.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, Adult

352 pages, Hardcover

First published May 7, 2024

About the author

Tom Selleck is an American actor, film producer, and California Army National Guard veteran. He is most known for starring as private investigator Thomas Magnum in the television series Magnum, P.I. (1980–1988), as Peter Mitchell in the comedy film Three Men and a Baby, and as NYPD Commissioner Frank Reagan in Blue Bloods on CBS since 2010.

Reviews

[JD · Rating 4 out of 5]

First off, I am a massive fan of Tom Selleck, grew up watching Magnum PI and then Blue Bloods as an adult, along with the Three Men movies in between. And this is a good memoir, very light on his personal life and more to do with his career as an actor. The book can be split in 2, his years before Magnum and his Magnum years. His road to fame was a long one, and he took more than a decade to make it big, which just highlights the tough road to getting out on top. One of my favorite quotes out of the book is, "Just keep laying bricks." Those words are inspiring and can be used in any job and his life shows that hard work pays off, you just have to keep on doing it.

All the behind the scene descriptions of his different acting roles, especially on Magnum is also interesting, and he is a man that always tried to do the right things in his career, and really cared about those he worked with and made part of his work family on sets. He also names of lot of different actors, producers and crew that he worked with on films and how they influenced him.

Good read, but the book ended when Magnum, and I would have liked to read more about his later life and career. He still is an interesting man who have lived a full life with many ups and downs, and worth the time to read the book.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was just okay. Or Oh-kay as Selleck wrote repeatedly in the book which drove me crazy after a while. There was far too much about every single episode of Magnum, P.I. and not enough about his personal life. I didn't really need to know about every script revision or the changing of the show runner or writer. So it was a bit dull.

[Creya Casale | cc.shelflove]

hot dad idc

[Katie B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tom Selleck’s memoir is more career based so not a ton of talk about his personal life although you do get a good sense of he is as a human being. Given he’s been a working actor for over 50 years the book is a fascinating read. It’s very detailed starting with his early days as he managed to nab some bit parts in tv and movies and thru his entire run of starring on the hit tv show, Magnum P.I. My only criticism is not much is written about his career post Magnum, a few pages devoted to Blue Bloods but that’s about it. I was surprised he didn’t discuss his guest appearances on Friends. Still though it was an enjoyable read as I love learning about the tv and film industry.

Thank you Dey Street Books for sending me a free copy! All thoughts expressed are my honest opinion.

[Khurram · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very refreshing book. Tom Selleck will always be Magnum to me. Even though I was too young to watch the series or remember a single episode fully, everything I have seen him in over the decades, my first thought is always it Magnum.

If you are looking for a tell-all, name, and shame story, this is definitely not the book for you. I say this book is refreshing because it is almost universally accepted how toxic and cut throat the film industry is. Here Tom shows another perspective the camaraderie between actors coming up, the joy and excitement of creating great movies or tv series.

These experiences might be coloured by Tom's humble personality, thinking the best of people or his mindset to always make the best of every situation he is in. This makes Tom Selleck an extremely likeable person. Yes, serendipity and luck had a hand in his success, but he is the one who "layed the bricks," learned his craft, and did his best in the situations.

Tom keeps his personal life (and army career) very close to his chest. He hardly talks about these except key milestones. He does give full credit to all the people he worked with and met over the years. One thing that made me lose a lot of respect for another actor was in their autobiography. They wrote a chapter where a veteran actor (who they name) saved their life by getting stuntman to do a stunt before them, the stuntman that dies his their place is not named. The fact that Tom did name people who took bumps for him or (indirectly) pait the ultimate price for him is a great show of humanity.

This book spans from Tom's serendipitous start in acting to the final season of Magnum. His post work after that is done in a chapter of him looking back. This is an excellent book, of a good person, but also sees good in others, but is not afraid to stand his ground.

[♥Milica♥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sooooo, when's the second part coming out? Soon? As in now? Because I need it. And if there's no second book, please consider writing one, Mr Selleck, because we need to know more!!

I've literally had this book on hold since the start of April, I know it came out in May, but that's when Libby added it, so I'm counting it. They finally gave it to me now and well, was it worth the wait you ask? I'd say yes, yes, it was.

I was interested in his earlier acting years and that's what I got, but also a lot of Magnum. It really was almost a play-by-play of each episode & season so be prepared for that. That's why we need another book, because so much time was taken up by just that one show.

The pace is slower, and Selleck narrates his own audiobook which I liked, but somehow I felt as if I'd spent a very long time listening, even when sped up.

There wasn't a lot about his personal life inside, but there was enough. I would've loved a little bit more, but I'm just happy we got a memoir in the first place.

I found the Yugoslavia section particularly fun, being from Serbia. It was interesting that they paid him in Dinars, and that back in the early 80s, 10 Dinars equaled 1 Dollar. For reference, it's about 110 Dinars for a Dollar now, give or take a few.

I'll have to see Cats, the musical, purely because Mr Selleck said he loves it and has seen it 8 and a half times. Surely it must be good and all those people who hate it are lying through their teeth. Hah. I'll probably like it, I love every musical I've seen.

Anywho, fingers crossed for a sequel, and that it also has an audiobook.

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm sad to say I'm really disappointed with this book. I love Tom Selleck and had been looking forward to this book. However it was 300 odd pages with a blow by blow account of every episode of Magnum, a paragraph about Three Men and a Baby, one line about Three Men and a Little Lady and absolutely nothing after the end of the 80's. I get that he was Magnum and that's what made him, but he did so much more that was so memorable. Where was In and Out, where was Richard from Friends? I'm so disappointed that none of that was covered? Does it mean there will be a second book or does he consider Magnum to be the only thing worth talking about. I would have liked a bit more personal life also as after college years there wasn't much from that either.

[Jayne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Who would ever know I would be bashing Tom Selleck's "You Never Know" memoir???
😭😭😭😭😭

I adore and admire Tom Selleck, so perhaps my expectations were too high.

IMHO, Tom Selleck is a terrific actor but not a great author.

Selleck's memoir was very, very, very slow-paced and suffered from waaay too much repetitious text.

Much too much time was allocated to his early acting years.

I was interested in hearing about his behind-the-scenes experiences with "Friends" and "Blue Blood" and that never happened.

I listened to the audiobook read by the 79-year-old actor.

I always love it when memoirs are read by authors. However, the actor's narration also missed the mark for me.

[Patricia Rupell · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was a lot in this book that I liked. I enjoyed hearing about how he got started and about the people he has worked with. There were some really interesting stories.

I did find it a bit repetitive. There were many phrases that were used over and over. But what was really disappointing was that I was most wanting to read about Blue Bloods, and he didn't even mention the show until the epilogue. If Magnum P.I. is what you want to read about, this is your book.

3.5 stars rounded up.

[Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Stars for You Never Know: A Memoir (audiobook) by Tom Selleck and Ellis Henican read by Tom Selleck.

This is a must read for all of the Magnum PI fans out there. This biography covers Tom Selleck’s life before acting and all of his acting jobs leading up to Magnum. He leaves out his first marriage and dives into how he managed getting Magnum PI and Raiders of the Lost Ark, and ultimately losing Raiders. And then he hi lights all of episodes that stood out for him. He also covers meeting Jillie Mack and their marriage. And I guess we’ll have to wait for the next memoir to hear about his life after Magnum.

[Graff Fuller · Rating 4 out of 5]

You Never Know: A Memoir by Tom Selleck

Emotional, funny, hopeful, informative,
inspiring, lighthearted, and relaxing.

Medium-paced

4.25 Stars

When I was growing up, Tom Selleck was the PERFECT guy. He had/has this perfect smile. He speaks with real resolve, and I believe who he is...in every part, in every show and every movie.

In a way, he was what I thought I wanted to be, but wasn't that tall, not that handsome (by a LARGE margin), didn't have that singular smile (when his whole face would lite the room).

So, when I heard he'd written a memoir, I knew that it would be a book that I wanted to read. 

From afar, he had a perfect life, but we ALL know, that no one is perfect...and each of use have struggles...and me being able to peek behind the curtain and read about his life, has been a lot of fun.

Two of my favourie actors, Harrison Ford and Tom Selleck are journeyman actors. The way Tom Sellecks says it, "laying bricks" (by doing the work).

In TS's life, he has had an amazing career and done so many roles that I've enjoyed watching...throughout the years.

As I was getting closer to the end of this book, I realized...that he's got to have a Part Two...and maybe that's why he decided on the younger version to be on THIS cover, so that when he writes part two, he'll do an older version of himself...to relate to us, the stories between Magnum and Blue Bloods, 'cause there's a LOT still to be told, for sure.

Reading this book, was a walk down memory lane, for like I said above, I've followed his career and enjoyed the characters and stories he's told.

Give us more to see, and please write a part two.

[Stephen · Rating 3 out of 5]

easy going autobiography of Tom Selleck from his college days through his various film/television career , found it interesting in parts

[Kristi C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an interesting memoir by a wonderful and talented person, but I feel like you have to like Magnum and long stories. I can understand how people reviewed this book to be a bit on the slow and boring side, heavy on Magnum P.I., but I enjoyed that fact and loved listening to Selleck’s narrative because he has such a calming and familiar voice. Sure, I would have liked to know more, but this is what Tom Selleck wanted to convey. Now I want to watch Magnum again! ☺️

[Nate · Rating 5 out of 5]

By no means comprehensive and lacking in the kind of gory details people may expect, this book was exactly what I wanted it to be. It covers his early life and his long, slow climb to stardom but the lion’s share of the book is focused on Magnum (my favourite show) and a select few of his movies that he starred in while shooting magnum. He pays the most attention to his first feature film “High road to China”which is a really great movie that never found an audience.
The book pretty much ends at the end of the last season of magnum, skips the 90’s and 2000’s all-together and has a brief epilogue about blue bloods.

Perfect.

[John Schorg · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's a comfort level to Selleck that reminds you of many actors who made their bones on network television... nothing revolutionary, but you can watch them act and know you will be entertained. This book is like that. It isn't too profound, but you aren't disappointed by what's in here. Is it the best thing ever? Nah, I think James Garner's autobiography is better. But I can see picking this up again in a couple of years, and whiling away a few hours revisiting Selleck talking about Magnum, PI.

[Leticia🌻 · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5

As a fan of his role in Friends as Richard and his role as Commissioner Reagan in Blue Bloods, I thoroughly enjoyed his memoir. After finishing his memoir, I am curious about his other work, such as, Magnum and Three Men and a Baby.

[Robbi · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is a very sugar-coated biography. He seems to like everyone he comes into contact with and works with. I get the not wanting to burn any bridges thing, but a little truth would have been nice - refreshing really. There is very little about women or his love life which was disappointing.
How anyone can this memoir “candid” is beyond me. Interesting read if you are a massive fan of Magnum P.I.

[Eli - Bookworm & Vine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tried the audible book and I couldn’t listen to grampy Magnum narrate. So I read the physical copy and really enjoyed it.

[Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this memoir written and read by Tom Selleck. I don't always agree with Tom's politics, but I find him to be a stand-up decent guy. He doesn't write about the women he bedded, and he doesn't talk trash about his first wife. He tells the story of his life focusing on his acting career. He was certainly not an overnight success, finally reaching some success when he was in his 30's. Some notable shows/movies he spoke about are: The Sacketts, High Road to China, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Magnum, PI, Three Men and a Baby, and Blue Bloods. It was a delightful listen.

[Sean Peters · Rating 3 out of 5]

You Never Know is an intimate memoir from a beloved actor, the story of a remarkable life and thoroughly accidental career. Journey to the top in Hollywood, learn of his mistakes and his well-earned success. Selleck clears up an armload of misconceptions and shares never-told stories. His rambunctious California childhood. His clueless arrival as a good-looking college jock in Hollywood (from the Dating Game to the Fox New Talent Program to co-starring with Mae West). What it was like to emerge as a mega-star in his mid-thirties and remain so for decades to come, an actor whose ease on screen connected with audiences worldwide, while redefining the clichés of manhood.

In You Never Know, Selleck recounts his personal friendships with a vivid army of A-listers, everyone from Frank Sinatra to Carol Burnett to Sam Elliott, paying special tribute to his mentor James Garner of The Rockford Files, who believed, like Selleck, that TV protagonists are far more interesting when they have rough edges. He tips his hat to the American western and the scruffy band of actors, directors and other ruffians who helped define that classic genre, where Selleck has repeatedly found a happy home. Magnum fans will be fascinated to learn how Selleck put his career on the line to make Thomas Magnum a more imperfect hero and explains why he walked away from a show that could easily have gone on for years longer.

Hollywood is never easy, even for stars who make it look that way. Selleck explains how he’s struggled to balance his personal and professional lives, frequently adjusting his career to protect his family’s privacy and normalcy. His journey offers a truly fresh perspective on a changing industry and a changing world. Beneath all the charm, talent, and self-deprecating humour, this memoir reveals an American actor who reached remarkable heights through authenticity.

I enjoyed reading about the Magnum years, the guest stars, especially Frank Sinatra and the general story but hoped to read about everything since then but really it stops about 1990. The next 33 years in 8 pages, missing many stories of his co-stars, his later films, his many guest television roles, his work on "Friends", his Jess Stone years, his co stars in the many films. in fact did not mention at all anything about Roger E Mosley his co star in "Magnum".

Yes some great stories, but a lot missed, years missed, fourteen years on Blue Bloods, hardly anything mentioned about his work on this.

Okay but could have been much better, more interesting, more career.

three stars

[David McCraw · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I know what you’re thinking…..

As a lifelong Magnum PI fan - I have admired Mr. Selleck’s work since he first smiled at the camera and then fishtailed the Ferrari into our lives.
This read is simply a great read and well worth the time.
Thank you for sharing this with us.

[Book Boyfriend · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m happy I read this. However, I wish he would’ve talked a little bit more about his life instead of just his acting career and the operation of show business. I wanted to learn more about his life, successes, failures, and other life principles he learned along the way.

[Adrienne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m so glad I picked up this book on a whim after seeing it in store. I knew nothing about Tom Selleck other than I remember seeing him in an episode of Young and the Restless.
You Never Know is a chef’s kiss of a title. I never knew he was such an athlete, served time in the California National Guard, all the westerns he starred in and his endearing friendship with Sam Elliot.
I came into this book knowing nothing about him and now I’m a fan! I’m looking forward to revisiting all his old westerns and diving into the show of Magnum.
10|10.

Audiobook is a must! I listened while I read along and it was a treat listening to him tell his story. 10|10.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Selleck tells his story from high school through the end of Magnum. Mr. Baseball and Quigley Down Under are mentioned just once. The Jesse Stone movies are not mentioned at all. The epilogue is all about his ranch which once belonged to Dean Martin and Blue Bloods which has eclipsed Magnum in episodes and seasons.

He was screwed by CBS. No sooner did he get his first leading man role as Magnum then he was selected by Lucas and Spielberg to be Indiana Jones. CBS could have allowed him to do it but exerted their contract. Rather than be angry or bitter he just moved on. He achieved the rank of sergeant in the infantry of the California National Guard. He was even in OCS but got disenrolled by a general over his haircut. He moved on over that too. He learned to pick his battles and considered James Garner from Rockford Files a mentor. He was in his mother's car as a senior in high school when it ran off a cliff on Mulholland Drive and went down 200 or so feet. No seatbelts then. He and his two friends walked away. Talk about lucky. Lucky Man might be a better title for this book. Pretty insightful into his philosophy of hard work, no complaining, moving on, and picking your battles.

[Janine Leffler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I chose to read this book because as a Friends fan I always loved Richard Burke and Monica together.
Sadly I don’t think Friends is mentioned in this book but I am still enjoying learning about him.

[Paula · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a memoir this book lacked anything personal and revealing. Every actor he worked with was great or really great, everyone was a "friend". Either he has no insight or he doesn't want to share it so why write a memoir?

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just an okay read for me to be quite honest. I've been excited for this book all year and when I finally got a chance to listen to the audiobook I found it overly long, kind of boring and I kind of wanted my 15 hours back. If you're a huge Tom Selleck fan you might enjoy this more but I never watched Magnum P.I. and I felt like the majority of the book was focused on that show, didn't go into a lot of personal stuff other than the shocking opening chapter. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Mediaman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an often-mediocre and extremely limited career memoir that spends the first third on his really dull pre-fame years living in California, then has a surprisingly detailed and lengthy section on Magnum P.I., but Selleck intentionally avoids anything too personal. The book basically ends in 1988 with only a couple of pages mentioning Blue Bloods, leaving the reader to wonder what about the other projects he was involved with over the past 35 years? Or almost anything about half of his adult life?

Selleck writes, "There are a lot of things I'd like to share...but I won't." He adds, "When I undertook this project, I made a commitment to share my private, personal emotions and feelings primarily about my work." Get it? This is intentionally about his work, not his private life. But even then he falls way short of covering most of his career.

So if you're looking for details about his many alleged affairs while he was married to his first wife, you'll be disappointed. He barely mentions her, then says nothing about anyone else he dated or slept with until he meets his second wife. Or if you want something about his bad reputation for being very, shall we call it, "picky" when dealing with others in Hollywood, you won't see him apologizing for that here (though he does jab at a couple of the people that created and produced Magnum P.I., then in the final pages jabs again at those involved behind-the-scenes with Blue Bloods).

The first third is so boring that I'd recommend you just skip to page 138 (though I realize no one will do that). He doesn't get to Magnum premiering on CBS until almost 200 pages in. You have to decide if you're willing to take that long quiet walk with him. There are only a couple paragraphs about his childhood. His high school and college years, as well as the first ten years of his career, are insignificant but verbose and written in such a way that I literally dozed off a few times getting through them.

Not until he receives the Magnum script (which he's not interested in), along with the amazing simultaneous offer of doing Raiders of the Lost Ark, does the memoir shift into temporary overdrive. Those fifty pages covering the conflict between the two offers, along with a few other chapters later in the book about making Magnum, are riveting. There are a few surprises included. If only the entire memoir could have been that interesting and vulnerable.

Once he becomes an overnight success with Magnum, Selleck comes across early in the first season as a jerk who thinks he knows what's best for scripts or how to produce a show (though he has never been the lead in a TV series before). He also thinks himself to be more important than he really is by avoiding people wherever he goes, hiding himself from others and never accepting the public part of fame. A lot of people around him tolerate this but can't be happy about it, especially his agent, publicist, lawyer and in-laws--all of whom were not told about his clandestine marriage to his second wife, finding out about it a month later in the tabloids. Doesn't Selleck see that his way of hiding only encourages more media gossip that he claims to so much hate?

In one eye-rolling section he says about starring in Magnum and making movies during the summer, "A lot of (film) actors may have been in a series earlier in their careers, but as far as I could figure, no one else was trying to do it at the same time." Namely, he thinks he's the first performer to star in both TV and movies simultaneously. Funny how he forgets John Travolta, who just a few years earlier did Welcome Back Kotter while making Grease and Saturday Night Fever. Or Dick Van Dyke having one of the top sitcoms of the 1960s while starring on the big screen in Mary Poppins and other films.

No, Tom wasn't the first, nor the greatest. Most of his movies really weren't that big anyway (the exception being Three Men and a Baby topping the box office just months before the Magnum finale was #1 in the TV ratings).

While devoted older Magnum fans will love the bulk of this being about the original series, this misses the mark in terms of a well-rounded memoir. Selleck claims to forget an awful lot of details about some very important moments in his life. His guard is way up and he fails to answer many of the questions fans have had about him over the years. I'd even say that in some ways this raised even more questions in my mind about his social life or why he runs from public view. What exactly is this guy hiding?

At his heart Selleck is simply a second-string high school and college athlete who wants to be one of the guys on the team, always feeling a bit insecure about stumbling into the profession of acting without any true preparation for it and uncomfortable with the attention that comes with fame. As he says too often throughout, he just wants to "do good work" and "keep laying bricks." The problem is that with this book "you never know" what the workhorse laborer is really like.

[M. Shannon · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars⭐️: This one was a disappointment for me. I grew up watching Magnum PI and thought this would be a fun read...It definitely had some interesting parts but was slow throughout much of it. Although the book fell flat for me, I am a big fan of Tom Selleck's work and will watch any shows/movies that he puts out😃🩵.

[Jen W · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to the audiobook and loved the way Tom narrated it. You could feel his emotions throughout. Also his voice is very soothing to listen to. This memoir was an interesting look into Tom’s journey to making it in the tv and film industry. There were glimpses of his personal life but the focus was his career which I really enjoyed. I’d highly recommend picking this one up on audio, yes it’s long but it can be sped up due to the narration reading pace.