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English as a Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail With Numerous Examples Taken from Everyday Life
America swears by it!
In the English language, swearing is essential to effective communication. Whether you want to succeed in business, school, or social circles, a strong command of vocabulary is absolutely necessary. Just imagine a stranger to our shores, trying to comprehend the following conversation:
John: Mary, would you like to attend the opera this evening?
Mary: F*cking-A. should I wear my black dress?
John: Why the f*ck not?
Mary: F*cked if I know-Oh, f*ck! I just remembered. It got f*cked up in the wash.
John: Well, f*ck the opera. Let's stay home and f*ck.
Mary: Good f*cking idea.
English as a Second F*cking Language (ESF*L) is the perfect way for nonnative speakers to learn the basics of swearing. At the same time, it also offers native speakers a wide variety of twists and new refinements. Page after page, ESF*L provides a smorgasbord of swearing synonyms designed to boost your vocabulary-everything from the conventional d*mn and sh*t to a host of more inventive terms that would make any truck driver blush. And when you're finished reading, our Final F*cking Exam is the perfect test of your swearing skills. You'll be surprised by how much you've learned!
In the English language, swearing is essential to effective communication. Whether you want to succeed in business, school, or social circles, a strong command of vocabulary is absolutely necessary. Just imagine a stranger to our shores, trying to comprehend the following conversation:
John: Mary, would you like to attend the opera this evening?
Mary: F*cking-A. should I wear my black dress?
John: Why the f*ck not?
Mary: F*cked if I know-Oh, f*ck! I just remembered. It got f*cked up in the wash.
John: Well, f*ck the opera. Let's stay home and f*ck.
Mary: Good f*cking idea.
English as a Second F*cking Language (ESF*L) is the perfect way for nonnative speakers to learn the basics of swearing. At the same time, it also offers native speakers a wide variety of twists and new refinements. Page after page, ESF*L provides a smorgasbord of swearing synonyms designed to boost your vocabulary-everything from the conventional d*mn and sh*t to a host of more inventive terms that would make any truck driver blush. And when you're finished reading, our Final F*cking Exam is the perfect test of your swearing skills. You'll be surprised by how much you've learned!
90 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 1996
30 people are currently reading
1037 people want to read
About the author
Sterling Johnson
14 books3 followersSterling Johnson--pseudonym of California writer Jeffrey Whitmore--is the author of the St. Martin's Press bestseller ENGLISH AS A SECOND F*CKING LANGUAGE ("Great f*cking book!"--Stephen King) and WATCH YOUR F*CKING LANGUAGE ("One of those rare smart and funny books."--Penn Jillette).
Whitmore is also the author of the 55-word classic "Bedtime Story" ("rather wonderful"--The Cambridge Introduction to Narrative, H. Porter Abbot).
He's a past member of the Writers Guild of America, West, and the San Jose (CA) Newspaper Guild. His cartoons (under the name "Roka") accompanied his weekly humor column in the Monterey Peninsula Herald.
For his novel DANGEROUS KNAVES, he drew on his Cold War service as a Public Information specialist for the 24th Infantry Division in Augsburg, Germany. The division was commanded by Maj. General Edwin A. Walker, whose military career was scuttled after he launched the infamous "Pro-Blue" troop-indoctrination program.
Whitmore is also the author of the 55-word classic "Bedtime Story" ("rather wonderful"--The Cambridge Introduction to Narrative, H. Porter Abbot).
He's a past member of the Writers Guild of America, West, and the San Jose (CA) Newspaper Guild. His cartoons (under the name "Roka") accompanied his weekly humor column in the Monterey Peninsula Herald.
For his novel DANGEROUS KNAVES, he drew on his Cold War service as a Public Information specialist for the 24th Infantry Division in Augsburg, Germany. The division was commanded by Maj. General Edwin A. Walker, whose military career was scuttled after he launched the infamous "Pro-Blue" troop-indoctrination program.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
February 10, 2020
Hilarious and informative for all the wrong reasons, this book teaches native as well as foreign users of the English language, the ways of efficient swearing.
Of course it was the title of the book that got my attention and I read it out of curiosity. The book is extremely funny and had me laughing many times but reading the book continuously for some time, it tends to get repetitive. So I had to put the book down for a while, but reading it again didn't have the same effect as before.
Of course it was the title of the book that got my attention and I read it out of curiosity. The book is extremely funny and had me laughing many times but reading the book continuously for some time, it tends to get repetitive. So I had to put the book down for a while, but reading it again didn't have the same effect as before.
February 24, 2019
Ok, I was curious. Thank goodness it was less than a hundred pages, so not too much of a waste of time. Amusing, but could have been a lot funnier. Tried to be (pretend)helpful, but could have been a lot more so. It's not really sufficient to explain what the words mean if you don't explain the grammar... but that's just the ex-student of linguistics talking.
July 4, 2022
Boy oh boy, would this have been a great book to read twenty of so years ago. Great content if you think that curses enhance the language. Make it juicy. Make it flow. Which I absolutely do.
If you don’t enjoy cursing, definitely not a good one to pick up.
Also, it should be apparent on the cover that the book is basically a cursing manual/dictionary with real world application examples for people who are just learning English. This wouldn’t work for anyone for whom English isn’t a native language. With time spent amongst native speakers you would just naturally pick up all of the things this book is talking about rendering the book pretty useless.
Overall though, I appreciate that this book exists and really wish that I had found it 15 years ago (if it was even out then).
Roman
If you don’t enjoy cursing, definitely not a good one to pick up.
Also, it should be apparent on the cover that the book is basically a cursing manual/dictionary with real world application examples for people who are just learning English. This wouldn’t work for anyone for whom English isn’t a native language. With time spent amongst native speakers you would just naturally pick up all of the things this book is talking about rendering the book pretty useless.
Overall though, I appreciate that this book exists and really wish that I had found it 15 years ago (if it was even out then).
Roman
March 17, 2021
Kinda funny!
January 26, 2011
Warning: this review contains graphic language.
While not new to publishing (release in 1996), this book is a necessary swear word compendium for any English lover. Author Sterling Johnson, a professor who has been teaching English as a second language for over twenty years, brings us a complete breakdown of swearing in the English language: each chapter begins with the particular swear word, gives a rundown of the various forms it may be used in, as well as full examples of how specifically to use said swear word. Johnson also goes to great odds to prevent “lay” swear word users from misusing certain words, rendering them stupid sounding or just plain confusing.
“Great f*cking book!” says Stephen King.
And now for some examples:
“The Basic Seven”: shit, fuck, piss, cunt, asshole, motherfucker, and cock-sucker.
“How to use the F-Word”:
Sigmund: “How come you’re mad Carl?”
Randolph: “The no-good fuck fucked me out of ten dollars.”
Some chapter titles include: Fuck, Sodomy, His (swear words to do with males), Hers (swear words to do with females), Everybody’s, Farts, Blasphemy, Family Matters, Hands-on Experience.
Only 88 pages long , this book nevertheless has it all. If you’re one not to be offended by blatant swearing, this book will amuse you to no end; there’s even “The Final F*cking Exam” to test you at the end.
It is also possible to contribute any new and unusual swear words you happen to know. Simply send them to: Sterling Johnson, St. Martin’s Press, Room 1700, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010. Or email the author at: [email protected].
Originally published on January 28th 2002.
For over 500 book reviews, and over 40 exclusive author interviews (both audio and written), visit BookBanter.
While not new to publishing (release in 1996), this book is a necessary swear word compendium for any English lover. Author Sterling Johnson, a professor who has been teaching English as a second language for over twenty years, brings us a complete breakdown of swearing in the English language: each chapter begins with the particular swear word, gives a rundown of the various forms it may be used in, as well as full examples of how specifically to use said swear word. Johnson also goes to great odds to prevent “lay” swear word users from misusing certain words, rendering them stupid sounding or just plain confusing.
“Great f*cking book!” says Stephen King.
And now for some examples:
“The Basic Seven”: shit, fuck, piss, cunt, asshole, motherfucker, and cock-sucker.
“How to use the F-Word”:
Sigmund: “How come you’re mad Carl?”
Randolph: “The no-good fuck fucked me out of ten dollars.”
Some chapter titles include: Fuck, Sodomy, His (swear words to do with males), Hers (swear words to do with females), Everybody’s, Farts, Blasphemy, Family Matters, Hands-on Experience.
Only 88 pages long , this book nevertheless has it all. If you’re one not to be offended by blatant swearing, this book will amuse you to no end; there’s even “The Final F*cking Exam” to test you at the end.
It is also possible to contribute any new and unusual swear words you happen to know. Simply send them to: Sterling Johnson, St. Martin’s Press, Room 1700, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010. Or email the author at: [email protected].
Originally published on January 28th 2002.
For over 500 book reviews, and over 40 exclusive author interviews (both audio and written), visit BookBanter.
September 14, 2007
I believe my mom bought me English as a Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail with Numerous Examples Taken From Everyday Life for me at some point (which seems appropriate, as I inherited my tendency to curse like a sailor when angry or frustrated from her.) I picked it up this time so I could claim to have finished at least one book in the past two weeks!
Written more or less as a straight language instruction guide, Johnson explores the usages of the Universal Adjective, terminology for male & female erogenous zones, elimination, blasphemy, masturbation and calling parentage into question. A section on idioms is included, as well as a quiz where the reader is presented with a stressful situation and three possible responses.
While this slim handbook is by no means a complete list of English curse words, I did learn a few idioms that I wasn't familiar with and got a chuckle or two. I'd be curious to know if any ESL teachers have used this book or something similar to assist their students with the finer points of vulgarity.
Written more or less as a straight language instruction guide, Johnson explores the usages of the Universal Adjective, terminology for male & female erogenous zones, elimination, blasphemy, masturbation and calling parentage into question. A section on idioms is included, as well as a quiz where the reader is presented with a stressful situation and three possible responses.
While this slim handbook is by no means a complete list of English curse words, I did learn a few idioms that I wasn't familiar with and got a chuckle or two. I'd be curious to know if any ESL teachers have used this book or something similar to assist their students with the finer points of vulgarity.
March 25, 2009
I cherry-picked this handy little reference volume while sorting library sale books. Real-life swearing doesn't make use of anywhere near the full spectrum of possibilities, and this book will bring new life to anyone's vocabulary. Between this book and the Urban Dictionary, one has access to a veritable thesaurus of the profane. Why merely "beat meat" when you can "choke the chicken"? How else does one know it's cool to "eat," but skanky to "eat the weenie"? Where else can one find all the various expressions derived from "piss" in one place? With plenty of dialogues and cross-referencing, this book is both easy to use and educational.
November 1, 2009
A thin book, this covers the "seven words you can't say on television" and somewhat more. Each term is highlighted, defined in proper dictionary style, synonyms are given and explored, and examples and counter-examples are considered for the differences between men and women. The book's title is exactly right: if you learned English as a second language, and all the primary English-speakers you know are too proper to talk to you about swear words, then this is the essential book for you. I'm going to hold onto it for the next time my European cousins come to visit.
March 28, 2016
Not as exhaustive as other texts, this book's author really screwed the pooch on this one. (Coincidentally, you will not find that phrase in the book but rather 'fucking the dog.')
An excellent primer for those who have never watched television or interacted with an English-speaking human before. Otherwise, it will not add to the etymologist's library.
The book screams 'Rush job' with its barebones intro, dust jacket and contents. I have not seen more generously spaced pages since teaching freshman English.
An excellent primer for those who have never watched television or interacted with an English-speaking human before. Otherwise, it will not add to the etymologist's library.
The book screams 'Rush job' with its barebones intro, dust jacket and contents. I have not seen more generously spaced pages since teaching freshman English.
August 17, 2009
At times outrageously funny, at other times perplexing; some of the phrasing was dated. (Boob is a confusing word because it can mean "tit" or "a dumb person"? Has anyone actually been called a "boob" since the advent of color television?) Also, the book wasn't quite as exhaustive as I'd like: he missed plenty of colorful phrases like the English "take the piss out of" and, despite a lengthy listing of euphemisms related to masturbation, he inexplicably failed to include "spank the monkey."
October 9, 2009
You can utterly respect the author's intent of sincerity, and in fact, covers the topic at hand effectively. But, as an American, and reading the British take on swearing to non-english speakers... This book is fantastically funny.
And, you'll be sure next time you need to swear, you'll be syntactically correct!
And, you'll be sure next time you need to swear, you'll be syntactically correct!
May 15, 2011
You'd think with that title that it would be better than it was. I thought it was sort basic and elementary, and frankly, there were a lot of really great swears left out. As it turns out, this is "beginner swearing" - I kid you not, and it's definitely evident when you read it. It was ok...I've come up with (much) better swears myself, and much more creative usage.
Want to read
September 9, 2016It goes without saying that this is a book that I really should read.
Want to read
March 11, 2017Hopefully this gosh darn book can help me out!
November 5, 2017
Mildly funny shit at best and too fucking incomplete.
December 31, 2019
Not what I expected. This is a scholarly study of Swear Words, terms, and there uses. Still, it was HILLARIOUS!
September 12, 2018
It might be of some real use to, well, those who have taken English as a second language, but something felt lacking even for that.
November 1, 2016
A Curious book with many useful and unknown expressions :-D
July 29, 2024
Dieses Buch habe ich in einem öffentlichen Bücherregal gefunden. Da ich kein englischer Muttersprachler bin, interessieren mich Flüche und Beleidigungen besonders - schließlich bekommt man diese normalerweise nicht im Unterricht beigebracht (warum eigentlich nicht? 😅)
Es gibt zu jeder Kategorie ein eigenes Kapitel, z.B. "F*ck", "A**" oder "Blasphemy". Jede Wendung ist mit einer Erklärung und Beispielen versehen, sodass sich der Kontext erschließt. Am Ende jeden Kapitels befindet sich eine Auflistung aller Wörter, gruppiert nach "Need to know", "Nice to know" und "forget it", sodass man sich nie wieder zum Vollidioten machen muss, weil man eine unpassende Beleidigung verwendet. Am Ende des Buches gibt es sogar einen kleinen Selbsttest.
Der Autor schreibt dabei selbst in einer derben Sprache und stellt Querverbindungen her, sodass es leicht zu lesen ist. Ich hab tatsächlich noch einige Begriffe gelernt, die mein Repertoire an Beleidigungen erweitern. Mit 90 Seiten hat man es auch schnell gelesen, z.B. als Klolektüre. Ich vergebe 5/5 Sternen
Es gibt zu jeder Kategorie ein eigenes Kapitel, z.B. "F*ck", "A**" oder "Blasphemy". Jede Wendung ist mit einer Erklärung und Beispielen versehen, sodass sich der Kontext erschließt. Am Ende jeden Kapitels befindet sich eine Auflistung aller Wörter, gruppiert nach "Need to know", "Nice to know" und "forget it", sodass man sich nie wieder zum Vollidioten machen muss, weil man eine unpassende Beleidigung verwendet. Am Ende des Buches gibt es sogar einen kleinen Selbsttest.
Der Autor schreibt dabei selbst in einer derben Sprache und stellt Querverbindungen her, sodass es leicht zu lesen ist. Ich hab tatsächlich noch einige Begriffe gelernt, die mein Repertoire an Beleidigungen erweitern. Mit 90 Seiten hat man es auch schnell gelesen, z.B. als Klolektüre. Ich vergebe 5/5 Sternen
March 20, 2020
Johnson's stated purpose in authoring this work was to provide an educational resource for those who speak English as something other than a primary language. While the book feigns instruction, it really simply uses instruction as a medium for humor. There are some comical quips inside, but the vast overuse of alliteration and homonyms exploited for humor quickly grow old. Readers should be aware that actual value in this book is minimal. If you read it, understand that your main takeaway will be a few coarse jokes. That being said, the font is large, the spacing liberal, and the page count minimal. You won't waste too much of your time.
April 4, 2021
It could do with an update, because some notable colorful terms are missing, but 25+ years after its printing, I'd say that 90% of the words in this slender book are still relevant and used in the same way today, which is impressive. It's really just a dictionary with usage examples, but would be useful for an (adult, preferably) English-language learner curious about words heard on the street/screen but not seen in a traditional textbook.
July 10, 2025
Can’t say I hate it but didn’t fully enjoy reading it too as it did not age well. You can clearly tell it is written by a man or a „panel“ of men. So if you’re a feminist - would not recommend. In general I would not recommend it. It’s just absurd. Yes I did learn some new phrases, but reading this book rather made me feel dumber than before.
November 22, 2017
Now I know what they’re saying in “The Sopranos” and “Deadwood”! Actually, this was a fun little read if you’re not easily offended. It basically expands on George Carlin’s seven words you can’t say on TV. A tongue-in-cheek primer for swearing.
September 19, 2021
Exactly what it says.
Small book, easy written, yet quite complete swearing vocabulary grouped around the big 7.
Includes a 10 questions test at the end with 3 swearing options to choose from:).
Small book, easy written, yet quite complete swearing vocabulary grouped around the big 7.
Includes a 10 questions test at the end with 3 swearing options to choose from:).
April 26, 2020
I don't know if my expections were too high but... This was terrible. Absolutely terrible and I wasted 30 minutes (!) of my life reading this. Sucks.
July 5, 2020
It was a fun book to read, but some of the language is very dated. I have never once heard of a person being called "ass-eyes."
September 18, 2021
Too short to be useful. The book only covers basic swearing
September 22, 2023
Couldn't stop laughing. Bought it for my wife for Christmas, hope she likes it
September 11, 2024
A gift worth more than the friendship.
October 2, 2024
As an ESL teacher I thought it was funny!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews