Do I Know You?: A Family's Journey Through Aging and Alzheimer's

by Bette Maskowitz

Do I Know You? is the account of one woman's slide into advanced senility. Mary Solomon moved to Florida after her husband died, and much to the surprise of her to grown daughters, created a new life for herself in a seaside condominium. Ten happy years followed, then slowly the decline began - stale cracker in an empty refrigerator, once immaculate floors turned sticky, unpaid bills, forgetfulness. Bette Moskowitz has created an unforgettable portrait of an ordinary woman at the end of her life. She asks questions many readers will eventually have to confront. How can one grow old with dignity? How can one become a parent to one's parent? Moskowitz probes the heart of our culture - one that refuses to comprehend the aging process.

Genres: Nonfiction

208 pages, Paperback

First published December 11, 2003

Reviews

[Rossella · Rating 2 out of 5]

Il capitolo meglio riuscito di questo libro è quello in cui l'autrice riflette sui sistemi di potere e sui rapporti di autorità che agiscono sull'anziano malato non autosufficiente e non più in grado di prendere per la sua vita e la sua salute decisioni razionali: il potere esercitato dai figli e dalla famiglia, che devono scegliere per lui una nuova casa o una residenza assistenziale e imporgli la presenza di altre persone sconosciute e non volute; quello dei dottori che lo hanno in cura e prescrivono terapie; quello delle istituzioni sanitarie e delle case di riposo che lo possono respingere o accogliere, e accudire in modo più o meno professionale e adeguato, non tanto in considerazione dei suoi personali bisogni ma in base alla mera disponibilità economica; quello dei dipendenti di queste strutture e dei badanti, che possono usare su di lui, inerme fisicamente e psicologicamente, piccole o grandi violenze, maltrattamenti, tirannie e mancanze di rispetto. Il resto della lunga storia di questa madre anziana affetta dal morbo di Alzheimer è raccontata dalla figlia adottando un distacco eccessivo e incongruente, in maniera frettolosa in troppi passaggi.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to read this for my human services class and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Don't get me wrong this book was sad, but I related to a lot of it. As someone who has been intimately acquainted with the aging process through my grandparents I could relate to a lot of the struggles that Bette Ann was going through. Getting old is hard and scary, and so is seeing the people you love dealing with the new struggles of becoming older. I think that people should be more aware of how to help aging love-ones and this book is the perfect introduction into this area.

[Sophia Lattof · Rating 5 out of 5]

god that sucked

[Bri ❀ · Rating 5 out of 5]

interesting and relatable i loved this book

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5

[Robin Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

A touching (and disturbing) account of the author's (and her sister's) attempt to aid and assist her mother as she grows older and must cope with declining health. The writer and her sister had many decisions to make on a continuous basis concerning housing, facilities, visits, outing, prescriptions, etc. None of these decisions could be made easily or swiftly. And each of these decisions had to be made with care taken to not trample or assault or compromise their mother's dignity. Once an accomplished tennis player and a public school teacher, this woman had to battle a progressive disease as she sank deeper and deeper into declining health.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

My sister sent me this memoir of two sisters dealing with their mother's decline from dementia. I see why she wanted me to read it—there's so much that echoes what we went through too. I read while nodding along, sometimes laughing—it's funny and sad at the same time, very personal, very universal.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enlightening book on aging parents. A must read for anyone who has a parent who is declining.

[Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Touching and sometimes distressing portrait of an adult child helping her infirm, senile parent