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Inheriting Clutter: How to Calm the Chaos Your Parents Leave Behind
Every day, hundreds of adult children become middle-aged orphans when their elderly parents pass away. . . but what should you do with what they’ve left behind? Professional estate liquidator Julie Hall provides essential guidance for any executor, heir, or beneficiary. You’ve heard the horror stories: arguments over stuff , an inheritance lost forever when easily deceived parents are scammed, siblings estranged, an adult heir taken from daily responsibilities for months because of the enormous task of clearing out a childhood home. It doesn’t have to be that way. The Estate Lady, professional estate liquidator Julie Hall, knows what to do. Whether your parents are still living or you’re caught in the middle of a crisis, Inheriting Clutter has solutions. Hall provides trustworthy counsel on how to: The Estate Lady offers guidance for any executor, heir, or beneficiary, sharing some of her most fascinating stories as well as helpful checklists of the things that need to be done now and at the time of your loss. Inheriting Clutter gives you practical, effective steps for liquidating and distributing your parents’ assets in a way that both honors them and promotes family harmony for generations to come.
272 pages, Paperback
Published July 14, 2020
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258 people want to read
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February 25, 2021
This guide outlines how to cope with, manage, distribute, dispose of, and close out one's parents' estate.
"'I knew this would happen. For years I tired to get Mom to sort through all this stuff, and she refused. Now I'm stuck with it, and my brother won't lift a finger to help me. This is so overwhelming.'" (page xxi)
I picked this book up because it was mentioned in an article about Gen X children having to deal with the lifetime of clutter they are inheriting from their Boomer parents. I, a Gen X-er, having suddenly realized that I am halfway to the grave, have already started the slow process of Swedish Death Cleaning the easy things like shoes and excess coffee mugs. My parents, on the other hand, have a house overflowing with over half a century worth of stuff, including years' accumulation of magazines and catalogs, that they are determined to hold onto.
Many of our relatives and family friends have stubbornly refused to address their excessive amount of stuff during their lifetimes, leaving it to their children and relatives to fight it out for the few valuables and then fill dumpsters with the rest once they are dead. I do not want to face mountains of emotionally charged stuff in my parents' home. That is why I was excited to learn about this book.
Unfortunately, the title is misleading. While the topic of clutter is touched upon, dealing with inherited clutter -- clutter as defined by Dana K. White as more stuff than one can keep under control -- is not the subject of this book. Instead, it is a step-by-step guide of what to do with one's parents' estate. This information is very helpful if one's parents have a manageable amount of stuff, but it doesn't address of the issue what to do if one's parents have an overwhelming amount of stuff and are completely uncooperative aside from hiring an estate manager to deal with it once they are deceased or have been forcibly removed from their home. (The ability to hire professionals assumes a certain level of affluence, which the average family may not have.)
This book really stresses starting the process of estate management prior to a relative's death or severe decline. If one's relatives are cooperative, this is really the best practice.
Chapter 1 outlines the first signs that one's parents are in decline.
Chapter 2 then jumps in with how to "plan for the inevitable."
Chapter 3 focuses on wills, why they are important and what will happen if there isn't one.
Interestingly, the author doesn't mention putting "payable-on-death" (POD) on bank accounts in the alternative to a will section. If one wants to leave cash money to someone, this method is very simple, and it avoids probate fees. Most banks have a standard form for the account owner to fill out. POD beneficiaries have no access to the account while the account owner is alive, and all a POD beneficiary needs to do to claim the money is show the bank a certified copy of the death certificate and proof of his/her identity. For joint accounts, the bank will need to see the death certificates of all account owners.
Chapter 4 introduces ways to deal with the contents of one's parents' home while they are still alive.
Chapter 5 discusses what can fill a home, pointing out the wisdom in hiring an appraiser because there may be valuables buried in the clutter. One should never assume everything is junk, but the author does name several categories of things that aren’t generally worth selling or keeping such as clothes and kitchen items.
Chapter 6 focuses on how to deal with relatives and family friends who may fight over the estates or attempt to carry off possessions.
Chapter 7 discusses "scammers, schemers, and other scoundrels" who may prey upon one's elderly parents and relatives and how to protect seniors from them. Yet again this goes back to facing the inevitable, dealing with the situation while one is still in command of one's faculties and able to express one's wishes, and safeguarding valuables.
There is one particularly painful anecdote in which an elderly woman's family continued to let her wear her diamond jewelry after she required in-home care, and, as one would would expect from a cautionary tale, six figures worth of said jewelry then went missing. I was horrified the Diamond Lady’s heirs hadn’t had her jewelry locked in a safe deposit box before allowing anyone into the home as caretaker or cleaner. That was just asking to be robbed. As someone whose relatives have had their diamond engagement rings — the only piece of valuable jewelry these poor women owned set with little more than a diamond chip — stolen off their hands at the hospital, at the nursing home, and even at the funeral home, I highly recommend buying a cubic zirconia engagement ring in a stainless steel setting for the vulnerable person to wear. And if the person wants to be buried with her good jewelry, don’t put it on until immediately before the casket is closed. Thefts during viewings are more common than one would think.
Chapter 8 proves the "nitty-gritty of dividing [one's] parents' estate." It specifically addresses how to minimize fighting. Cliffs Notes: put wishes in writing or bestow the objects prior to death and decline. Also, be sure all siblings are either given items of equal value or a check for the difference.
The author believes the monetary value of an estate should be divided equally among all beneficiaries. She doesn't specifically address situations in which a parent may have given one child money either outright or in the form of an unrepaid family loan(s) or in which one child did the lion's share of the unpaid caregiving for a parent. She also doesn't address dividing the estate unequally if one child is financially better off than the other(s). But the implication is that if there is no will specifying an unequal division of the estate, it should be divided equally no matter what.
Chapter 9 discusses how to figure out what things are worth.
Chapter 10 tackles where to begin when disposing of an estate, and Chapter 11 describes "how to clean out [one's] parents' estate."
Chapter 12 describes various ethical issues one may encounter when dealing with an estate. The information provided hammers home the importance of disposing of anything incriminating or potentially embarrassing prior to one's death.
Chapter 13 encourages readers to organize and downsize their estates to spare their children the burden of dealing with excessive stuff after their own deaths.
Chapter 14 is about self-care for people dealing with the disposal of estates.
Chapter 15 encourages readers to celebrate the lives of the deceased once they have closed out the estate.
In Chapter 16, the author talks about what she has learned during her decades of experience as "a personal property expert."
There are four appendices of helpful resources at the end of the book.
"If you just let your children fight it out at the time of your death, the entire family will be dragged through the wreckage, and I can make you one guarantee: your children won't just resent each other for the week of your funeral; they will resent each other for the remainder of their lives, probably wishing you had made the decision for them. Since you didn't make the decision, they will also resent you for the rest of their lives, which is not the legacy you'd want to leave." (page 88)
The single greatest takeaway from this book is the minimum elderly adults can do for their children (or their heirs if they are childless) to put their paperwork in order and expresses their wishes both verbally and in writing. There is a list of crucial documents on pages 23 and 24. Donating, giving away, or throwing away excessive unneeded possessions would be a bonus.
"'I knew this would happen. For years I tired to get Mom to sort through all this stuff, and she refused. Now I'm stuck with it, and my brother won't lift a finger to help me. This is so overwhelming.'" (page xxi)
I picked this book up because it was mentioned in an article about Gen X children having to deal with the lifetime of clutter they are inheriting from their Boomer parents. I, a Gen X-er, having suddenly realized that I am halfway to the grave, have already started the slow process of Swedish Death Cleaning the easy things like shoes and excess coffee mugs. My parents, on the other hand, have a house overflowing with over half a century worth of stuff, including years' accumulation of magazines and catalogs, that they are determined to hold onto.
Many of our relatives and family friends have stubbornly refused to address their excessive amount of stuff during their lifetimes, leaving it to their children and relatives to fight it out for the few valuables and then fill dumpsters with the rest once they are dead. I do not want to face mountains of emotionally charged stuff in my parents' home. That is why I was excited to learn about this book.
Unfortunately, the title is misleading. While the topic of clutter is touched upon, dealing with inherited clutter -- clutter as defined by Dana K. White as more stuff than one can keep under control -- is not the subject of this book. Instead, it is a step-by-step guide of what to do with one's parents' estate. This information is very helpful if one's parents have a manageable amount of stuff, but it doesn't address of the issue what to do if one's parents have an overwhelming amount of stuff and are completely uncooperative aside from hiring an estate manager to deal with it once they are deceased or have been forcibly removed from their home. (The ability to hire professionals assumes a certain level of affluence, which the average family may not have.)
This book really stresses starting the process of estate management prior to a relative's death or severe decline. If one's relatives are cooperative, this is really the best practice.
Chapter 1 outlines the first signs that one's parents are in decline.
Chapter 2 then jumps in with how to "plan for the inevitable."
Chapter 3 focuses on wills, why they are important and what will happen if there isn't one.
Interestingly, the author doesn't mention putting "payable-on-death" (POD) on bank accounts in the alternative to a will section. If one wants to leave cash money to someone, this method is very simple, and it avoids probate fees. Most banks have a standard form for the account owner to fill out. POD beneficiaries have no access to the account while the account owner is alive, and all a POD beneficiary needs to do to claim the money is show the bank a certified copy of the death certificate and proof of his/her identity. For joint accounts, the bank will need to see the death certificates of all account owners.
Chapter 4 introduces ways to deal with the contents of one's parents' home while they are still alive.
Chapter 5 discusses what can fill a home, pointing out the wisdom in hiring an appraiser because there may be valuables buried in the clutter. One should never assume everything is junk, but the author does name several categories of things that aren’t generally worth selling or keeping such as clothes and kitchen items.
Chapter 6 focuses on how to deal with relatives and family friends who may fight over the estates or attempt to carry off possessions.
Chapter 7 discusses "scammers, schemers, and other scoundrels" who may prey upon one's elderly parents and relatives and how to protect seniors from them. Yet again this goes back to facing the inevitable, dealing with the situation while one is still in command of one's faculties and able to express one's wishes, and safeguarding valuables.
There is one particularly painful anecdote in which an elderly woman's family continued to let her wear her diamond jewelry after she required in-home care, and, as one would would expect from a cautionary tale, six figures worth of said jewelry then went missing. I was horrified the Diamond Lady’s heirs hadn’t had her jewelry locked in a safe deposit box before allowing anyone into the home as caretaker or cleaner. That was just asking to be robbed. As someone whose relatives have had their diamond engagement rings — the only piece of valuable jewelry these poor women owned set with little more than a diamond chip — stolen off their hands at the hospital, at the nursing home, and even at the funeral home, I highly recommend buying a cubic zirconia engagement ring in a stainless steel setting for the vulnerable person to wear. And if the person wants to be buried with her good jewelry, don’t put it on until immediately before the casket is closed. Thefts during viewings are more common than one would think.
Chapter 8 proves the "nitty-gritty of dividing [one's] parents' estate." It specifically addresses how to minimize fighting. Cliffs Notes: put wishes in writing or bestow the objects prior to death and decline. Also, be sure all siblings are either given items of equal value or a check for the difference.
The author believes the monetary value of an estate should be divided equally among all beneficiaries. She doesn't specifically address situations in which a parent may have given one child money either outright or in the form of an unrepaid family loan(s) or in which one child did the lion's share of the unpaid caregiving for a parent. She also doesn't address dividing the estate unequally if one child is financially better off than the other(s). But the implication is that if there is no will specifying an unequal division of the estate, it should be divided equally no matter what.
Chapter 9 discusses how to figure out what things are worth.
Chapter 10 tackles where to begin when disposing of an estate, and Chapter 11 describes "how to clean out [one's] parents' estate."
Chapter 12 describes various ethical issues one may encounter when dealing with an estate. The information provided hammers home the importance of disposing of anything incriminating or potentially embarrassing prior to one's death.
Chapter 13 encourages readers to organize and downsize their estates to spare their children the burden of dealing with excessive stuff after their own deaths.
Chapter 14 is about self-care for people dealing with the disposal of estates.
Chapter 15 encourages readers to celebrate the lives of the deceased once they have closed out the estate.
In Chapter 16, the author talks about what she has learned during her decades of experience as "a personal property expert."
There are four appendices of helpful resources at the end of the book.
"If you just let your children fight it out at the time of your death, the entire family will be dragged through the wreckage, and I can make you one guarantee: your children won't just resent each other for the week of your funeral; they will resent each other for the remainder of their lives, probably wishing you had made the decision for them. Since you didn't make the decision, they will also resent you for the rest of their lives, which is not the legacy you'd want to leave." (page 88)
The single greatest takeaway from this book is the minimum elderly adults can do for their children (or their heirs if they are childless) to put their paperwork in order and expresses their wishes both verbally and in writing. There is a list of crucial documents on pages 23 and 24. Donating, giving away, or throwing away excessive unneeded possessions would be a bonus.
March 14, 2021
I found this book available on Kindle at exactly the moment I needed it : when my mother died and I had to start to settle her estate as her executor. Then, within six weeks my father died and I had his estate to settle. With my only sibling living on the other side of the country, I needed her advice to be sure I handled everything well and kept our relationship intact. This book is almost like a checklist of what to do and how to find the help you need. It also discusses some of the emotional issues that can come along. I am in the beginning stages of decluttering my parents’ home and working on their estates but this book has made me feel confident that it will get done and done right. I highly recommend this book! It is also a perfect one to read to make sure your own estate is planned and your own home will not be a disaster for your family when you die.
February 15, 2024
Definitely not a fun subject but this is a great introduction to SUCH important stuff that will impact everyone, and is definitely better to sit down with and digest while one's parents are still healthy. Hall has a personable style and sensible advice for adult children (and their parents) based on her career and her personal experience. It would have been even more valuable if it were a little more current and had Canadian-specific info, but still has a ton of relevant and actionable advice. I also appreciate the checklists at the end of every chapter and at the end. Heavy but necessary.
February 15, 2021
Cautions we should all abide by for our aging parents and our aging selves. Covers many pitfalls and, in some cases, how to avoid them.
July 9, 2021
I don't understand the reviews here that give 3 stars with no negative explanation. This book was recommended to me (possibly through a Facebook group I'm in that addresses the "sandwich generation" with aging parents and children), and since my husband and I are redoing our estate plan, I decided to get this from the library. I listened to it as an audio book, which I really enjoyed. The narrator was excellent and helped put the emotion into the book.
My take on the book was excellent. The author, Julie Hall, really emphasizes pre-planning of who gets what in the estate and making sure it is financially equitable to those inheriting. That means people need to understand the value of the estate, including goods inside the home. Ms. Hall says people need to get independent appraisals and alerts us to MANY common scams and pitfall situations that happen even in the happiest of families after parents pass away. I was very shocked at the frequency of bad situations happening per the author's experiences, even at the hands of close friends and caring family members. It is indeed a warning call. Imagine the strife inside families that are not super close or have other long-standing grievances.
The author also gives very hands on suggestions for how to handle specific meetings amongst siblings, and the process - in detail - for dividing up an estate (a home, its goods, and all financial assets), in a fair and equitable manner. She focuses on keeping the process positive and fair.
Even though my husband and I are pretty financially astute, I have decided we need to relook at our allocations of "items of value" to assess actual financial value and ensure our children or other individuals get a fair financial share of our estate. I also am going to relook at putting detailed, specific plans in place for funerals and estate distribution.
Lastly, the author helps us to understand the collector mentality and what equals "value" - both financial and sentimental. If we haven't heard it enough from Marie Kondo, you'll hear it in this book again - get rid of your crap! Younger people do not want it. Go through your things and be aggressive in weeding out things of little to no value! Anything that is left should be allocated to either a specific person or to the estate, to be liquidated or donated upon your death. Doing this process while you're of sound mind is truly a gift to your children. I have one parent who died without doing this and it left a gaping hole in our family that we won't recover from. Am now trying to help my other living parent take steps to make her decisions now.
My take on the book was excellent. The author, Julie Hall, really emphasizes pre-planning of who gets what in the estate and making sure it is financially equitable to those inheriting. That means people need to understand the value of the estate, including goods inside the home. Ms. Hall says people need to get independent appraisals and alerts us to MANY common scams and pitfall situations that happen even in the happiest of families after parents pass away. I was very shocked at the frequency of bad situations happening per the author's experiences, even at the hands of close friends and caring family members. It is indeed a warning call. Imagine the strife inside families that are not super close or have other long-standing grievances.
The author also gives very hands on suggestions for how to handle specific meetings amongst siblings, and the process - in detail - for dividing up an estate (a home, its goods, and all financial assets), in a fair and equitable manner. She focuses on keeping the process positive and fair.
Even though my husband and I are pretty financially astute, I have decided we need to relook at our allocations of "items of value" to assess actual financial value and ensure our children or other individuals get a fair financial share of our estate. I also am going to relook at putting detailed, specific plans in place for funerals and estate distribution.
Lastly, the author helps us to understand the collector mentality and what equals "value" - both financial and sentimental. If we haven't heard it enough from Marie Kondo, you'll hear it in this book again - get rid of your crap! Younger people do not want it. Go through your things and be aggressive in weeding out things of little to no value! Anything that is left should be allocated to either a specific person or to the estate, to be liquidated or donated upon your death. Doing this process while you're of sound mind is truly a gift to your children. I have one parent who died without doing this and it left a gaping hole in our family that we won't recover from. Am now trying to help my other living parent take steps to make her decisions now.
June 12, 2022
When my dad died a few months ago, I had first checked this book out, but couldn't bring myself to read it. Now that I am again trying to tackle their home and get my mother moved, I decided to read it. And it was sort of a let-down.
The pros: the tone was kind and caring. And overall, it was a good reminder of why we should be prepared for end-of-life decisions (our parents and our own) and also keep our belongings streamlined and organized, so that nobody else is saddled with the burden of having to sort through it for weeks and months on end after we die.
The cons: there was a single type of family described, which tended to be a family of super happy siblings all born to the same set of parents, who were married to each other and are also very very very wealthy. Which is to say that every story involved diamonds worth $100,000s upon $100,000s. The book also assumes everyone sibling is involved and helping equally and I am like, uhm, what sort of fairytale land are we living in here?
When it started giving these absurd timelines (you can get it all done in a few days!), well, that was the moment I wanted to throw the book against a wall. Except that it was an audiobook, which made that harder to do.
So overall verdict: skip.
The pros: the tone was kind and caring. And overall, it was a good reminder of why we should be prepared for end-of-life decisions (our parents and our own) and also keep our belongings streamlined and organized, so that nobody else is saddled with the burden of having to sort through it for weeks and months on end after we die.
The cons: there was a single type of family described, which tended to be a family of super happy siblings all born to the same set of parents, who were married to each other and are also very very very wealthy. Which is to say that every story involved diamonds worth $100,000s upon $100,000s. The book also assumes everyone sibling is involved and helping equally and I am like, uhm, what sort of fairytale land are we living in here?
When it started giving these absurd timelines (you can get it all done in a few days!), well, that was the moment I wanted to throw the book against a wall. Except that it was an audiobook, which made that harder to do.
So overall verdict: skip.
February 18, 2025
"9 Days and 4 commercial sized dumpsters to clear out after his death..." And "why did Mom & Dad do this to (me)?"
Sounds SO MUCH like what I'll be dealing with 😭 so I'm reading it, BUT...
This book DEFINITELY needs to be updated to reflect the change in demographics -- it's no longer an aging "Greatest Generation", now it's an aging "Silent Gen & Boomers" (who are WAY DIFFERENT from their predecessors) with GenX and Millennials for the sandwich generation, and boy-howdy we have a very different attitude towards "heirlooms."
"The typical clients I work with are Middle- to Upperclass-Middle families who live in nice neighborhoods..."
Limited in applicability to my situation (only child, living 14 hours away, come from middle-to-low income) but I sent this to my parents hoping it will jar (guilt?) them into positive action.
"We all have some junk, but your parents have some keepers, I am sure..."
No. No ma'am. They really don't.
Sounds SO MUCH like what I'll be dealing with 😭 so I'm reading it, BUT...
This book DEFINITELY needs to be updated to reflect the change in demographics -- it's no longer an aging "Greatest Generation", now it's an aging "Silent Gen & Boomers" (who are WAY DIFFERENT from their predecessors) with GenX and Millennials for the sandwich generation, and boy-howdy we have a very different attitude towards "heirlooms."
"The typical clients I work with are Middle- to Upperclass-Middle families who live in nice neighborhoods..."
Limited in applicability to my situation (only child, living 14 hours away, come from middle-to-low income) but I sent this to my parents hoping it will jar (guilt?) them into positive action.
"We all have some junk, but your parents have some keepers, I am sure..."
No. No ma'am. They really don't.
September 19, 2020
This extremely thorough book shares lots of information about estate planning, wills, eldercare transitions, and protecting the elderly from financial scams, in addition to addressing the titular concept of going through your parents' belongings. This book was too wordy at times, and I sometimes skimmed, but it covers a lot of deeply important topics in one place, and the illustrative stories that the author shares from clients' experiences help make the material concrete and memorable.
August 29, 2024
This is one of those books that has very helpful sections interspersed between potentially unrelatable sections. For anyone outside the targeted audience of traditional family structures experiencing traditional family loss, this book will require a lot of section skimming and situational lens correcting. But I would say it is worth it. Because the useful bits scattered throughout the less than useful bits are, indeed, VERY useful. Hall offers straightforward and actionable recommendations in this book that are hard to come by in similarly themed publications, and, as someone with over a decade of personal experience navigating inherited messes, found her advice surprisingly illuminating and instantly beneficial to my seemingly endless situation.
I am glad I stuck with this book to the end, even though my "woe is me, sure would be nice to be the person she thinks is reading this book" inner chatter remained near constant.
I am glad I stuck with this book to the end, even though my "woe is me, sure would be nice to be the person she thinks is reading this book" inner chatter remained near constant.
January 6, 2023
This book is mostly for people who are expecting an inheritance. It’s also kind of a self help book like if there is conflict what to do to try and resolve it. I thought it was going to be a little more like nuts and bolts, what happens to an estate after someone dies. I also think her voice is really grating maybe not everyone thinks that but the audiobook is what I’m using and she drags out almost every word and it’s really hard to listen to.
I also have a friend who does estate stuff everyday in a law firm and he said it’s not true that if there is no will the state appoints someone to divvy things up, he said they select one of the next of kin to be executor.
I also have a friend who does estate stuff everyday in a law firm and he said it’s not true that if there is no will the state appoints someone to divvy things up, he said they select one of the next of kin to be executor.
June 20, 2023
Amid the platitudes are some excellent practical information and some scary, motivating statistics. Just as helpful for those trying to deal with their own stuff as for dealing with our parents' stuff.
August 4, 2020
There is some excellent information here but it is, ironically, surrounded in clutter.
December 17, 2020
For years I tried to get Mom to sort through all of this stuff, and she refused. Now I’m stuck with it, and my brother won’t lift a finger to help me. This is so overwhelming. There’s no way I’m going to get through this.
Woof. Is this me from the future?
This book was a great resource for me as a Millennial with a mother about to retire and grandparents who are aging and who have a bunch of shit. Society has assisted me in a "inception" with my ma in getting rid of the things she doesn't use or love from exposure to books and shows by people like Marie Kondo. She now believes she came up with the idea herself, which is great! But now I needed to take it a step further and make sure that she has a plan set up and that I am in the loop with the proper documents. I don't know anything about my ma's bank accounts, lines of credit, house insurance etc. Same with my grandparents. Hall outlines different documents that you should go about collecting from your parents. In addition, when going through the physical and emotional clutter it's good to have a to-do list. I took tons of Kindle notes and highlights that I plan on importing to Evernote for future reference.
While some reviewers left reviews saying they wished Hall talked about what to do when you have no children, (assuming that the audience would be preparing their own "departure") I disagree. Please read the title: it says when "Your Parents Leave Behind". The book is obviously created for children of aging parents. Now if you want that information look up a book and/or resources that were created for an audience that didn't have children.
I didn't rate this book 5 stars because I felt that Hall ended up repeating herself quite a bit throughout chapters. It was hard to see where some concepts were delineated. It might be easier to divide the book by logical stuff (documents, organizing) vs emotional stuff (dealing with family, diving things amongst family). Or maybe before your parents passing vs after your parents passing. I felt that the concepts were just a bit scattered and all over the place.
Woof. Is this me from the future?
This book was a great resource for me as a Millennial with a mother about to retire and grandparents who are aging and who have a bunch of shit. Society has assisted me in a "inception" with my ma in getting rid of the things she doesn't use or love from exposure to books and shows by people like Marie Kondo. She now believes she came up with the idea herself, which is great! But now I needed to take it a step further and make sure that she has a plan set up and that I am in the loop with the proper documents. I don't know anything about my ma's bank accounts, lines of credit, house insurance etc. Same with my grandparents. Hall outlines different documents that you should go about collecting from your parents. In addition, when going through the physical and emotional clutter it's good to have a to-do list. I took tons of Kindle notes and highlights that I plan on importing to Evernote for future reference.
While some reviewers left reviews saying they wished Hall talked about what to do when you have no children, (assuming that the audience would be preparing their own "departure") I disagree. Please read the title: it says when "Your Parents Leave Behind". The book is obviously created for children of aging parents. Now if you want that information look up a book and/or resources that were created for an audience that didn't have children.
I didn't rate this book 5 stars because I felt that Hall ended up repeating herself quite a bit throughout chapters. It was hard to see where some concepts were delineated. It might be easier to divide the book by logical stuff (documents, organizing) vs emotional stuff (dealing with family, diving things amongst family). Or maybe before your parents passing vs after your parents passing. I felt that the concepts were just a bit scattered and all over the place.
January 12, 2022
Julie Hall's book, Inheriting Clutter: How to Calm the Chaos Your Parents Leave Behind, consists of 16 chapters along with several resources in the appendix. From the book's title, I anticipated a more narrowly focused discussion of how to handle the physical "stuff" that makes up an estate. However, Hall spent significant time exploring more general estate planning and probate concepts: what is a will, how powers of attorney work, what is probate, etc.
Overall, the book provides the reader with some excellent suggestions on how to locate and secure a qualified appraiser for personal possessions, options for distributing tangible property from an estate, and where to look for hidden money of valuables in a home (i.e. check inside all the shoes). The appendices offer some useful questions and forms as well for those faced with the daunting task of administering an estate.
As a estate planning and probate attorney of 15+ years I did find the book to make several unsettling assumptions. One, the assumption that "families" are comprised of a mom, dad, several children, all of whom are on good terms and have a family home. That is a minority of households in modern day America. Two, the assumption that the adult child should be in the driver's seat of his or her parents' estate plan. In reality, the parent is the client and the one making the decisions even if an adult child disagrees. And lastly, third the book does not speak enough to the situations in which a "family" has dysfunction, blended families, estrangements, or no marriages or children.
Overall, the book provides the reader with some excellent suggestions on how to locate and secure a qualified appraiser for personal possessions, options for distributing tangible property from an estate, and where to look for hidden money of valuables in a home (i.e. check inside all the shoes). The appendices offer some useful questions and forms as well for those faced with the daunting task of administering an estate.
As a estate planning and probate attorney of 15+ years I did find the book to make several unsettling assumptions. One, the assumption that "families" are comprised of a mom, dad, several children, all of whom are on good terms and have a family home. That is a minority of households in modern day America. Two, the assumption that the adult child should be in the driver's seat of his or her parents' estate plan. In reality, the parent is the client and the one making the decisions even if an adult child disagrees. And lastly, third the book does not speak enough to the situations in which a "family" has dysfunction, blended families, estrangements, or no marriages or children.
April 30, 2021
I have followed the Estate Lady for some years and find her to be full of accurate, realistic and, therefore, truly helpful info. Reading her columns regularly gave my husband and me the impetus to pare down and downsize. Now that all of our parents have passed on, we are wanting to be sure the journey our children take as we age and when we pass is as easy as possible. We are mostly "in order", but are constantly trying to ensure that we cull through unwanted things and unneeded papers to help them and to keep our spaces clean and clear. This is a great book and at some point I will buy a copy for my children.
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April 7, 2021Given that Mr. K and I have only one living parent between us, and we've already cleaned out her house so are down to her assisted living apartment and one storage unit, I'm not sure why I felt compelled to read this, but I did. It made me feel good about how well my brother and I worked through my mom's house/estate; we didn't have any of the conflicts or problems the book describes. It also had a good reminder that it's best to give away things while you're still alive (if you're not still enjoying them yourself, of course).
September 19, 2020
Julie Hall has made a career of this...how to clear things out when left with an estate full of "treasures." She gives excellent advice and tips on how to plan, deal with family members and keep things fair. Realistically, the best way is to deal with your own things and not leave them for the next generation but that is as tough if not tougher than dealing with someone else's stuff. If you have aging parents, give this a read now to figure out things you should be doing.
April 17, 2021
This is an excellent guide book for estate planning. The author Julie Hall does a wonderful job outlining and describing the steps of the entire process as your parents age and what important items need to be in place to help things go smoothly upon the death of your parents and the liquidation of their property. I learned so much. This is a book I will go back to as this process moves along with my parents.
May 20, 2021
Wish I had read this before I was still trying to clear out my parent's home 6 years after my mother's passing. Not only did that generation pass on a lot of stuff, but also the propensity to feel guilt at getting rid of it all.
This book encouraged me to go through my own home. (Which I still am working on and will be for the rest of my life).
This book encouraged me to go through my own home. (Which I still am working on and will be for the rest of my life).
August 5, 2021
I love Being Mortal but I feel this book was a better do this, not that, this is a good time to start talking about that, these are some good reasons to do x and so on. It was a great source of what to do before, during and after a loved one passes from not only someone who has gone through the process but a unique perspective of an “estate lady”.
November 17, 2021
This book shares much of the same information as the author's earlier title, The Boomer Burden: Dealing with Your Parents' Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff.
June 8, 2022
It wasn't quite what I was expecting, but this book is very useful for adult children that have parents that are getting close to their death beds, but may not have even considered getting their affairs in order. This book helps guide the adult child to help lead the parent to getting everything in order before the chaos their inevitable death will likely bring.
April 26, 2024
For a couple of "Golden Year Packrats" this was an illuminating book of how not to leave behind a huge mess for your heirs to have to sort through. With several really solid lessons learned from the "Estate Lady", this little one-night-read should be on everybody's self-help list, who have aging family members, themselves included.
December 20, 2020
While neither of my parents is particularly old or nearing the end of their life, I read this book to prepare for the future. I found it to be informative and I think it’s a good read for people who do tend to hoard and have trouble letting go of “stuff” particularly chapter 13.
September 12, 2021
I rarely write reviews of books, everyone takes something different from what they read. However, this book was full of practical, common sense
advice, checklists, and many resources for more help/information!
advice, checklists, and many resources for more help/information!
October 21, 2022
More about planning and "Swedish Death Cleaning" than clearing up later. I recommend this for adults caring for elderly parents/relatives. Some cautionary tales about elderly being preyed upon. It was also fun to hear Julie's story about how she sort of fell into a career that she loves.
September 6, 2023
Good read but misleading title. It’s not just about the clutter—the author addresses decisions re downsizing, legalities, how to avoid scams, family dynamics, in addition to strategies for dealing with all the stuff.
July 10, 2020
Very how-to. Helpful if you’re needing step by step instructions.
September 1, 2020
I just happened upon this at the library and it just seemed like a good book to read through and keep in mind. Good advice here for a time all of us will have to face eventually.
October 18, 2020
Sane and helpful.
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