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Like Streams to the Ocean: Notes on Ego, Love, and the Things That Make Us Who We Are
A moving meditation on the hidden, sometimes difficult topics we must consider to live an authentic life, from the
New York Times
bestselling author of
To Shake the Sleeping Self
We aren't born into a self. It is created without our consent, built on top of our circumstances, the off-handed comments we hear from others, and the moments that scared us most when we were young. But in the busyness of our daily life, we rarely get the chance to think clearly about the questions that matter most. Who am I? Where do I belong? How much of who I am and what I do boils down to avoiding the things that make me feel small? We tuck these questions into the corner of our minds, but they drive our behavior far more than we give them credit for, even after we become adults.
Writing with the passion and clarity that made his debut, To Shake the Sleeping Self, a national bestseller, Jenkins makes space to explore the seven topics we must think about in order to live a deeply considered life: ego, family, work, love, nature, death, and the soul. He considers the experiences that shape us into who we are, whether they're as heart-pounding as a rafting trip through the whitewater of the Grand Canyon, or as ordinary as the moment when we look in the mirror each morning. Through it all, Jenkins leads readers on a wide-ranging conversation about finding fulfillment in the people and places around us, and discovering the courage to show our deepest selves to the world.
The Seven Subjects is a profound reflection from one of our most original writers, a necessary read for anyone seeking a companion on the road to understanding.
We aren't born into a self. It is created without our consent, built on top of our circumstances, the off-handed comments we hear from others, and the moments that scared us most when we were young. But in the busyness of our daily life, we rarely get the chance to think clearly about the questions that matter most. Who am I? Where do I belong? How much of who I am and what I do boils down to avoiding the things that make me feel small? We tuck these questions into the corner of our minds, but they drive our behavior far more than we give them credit for, even after we become adults.
Writing with the passion and clarity that made his debut, To Shake the Sleeping Self, a national bestseller, Jenkins makes space to explore the seven topics we must think about in order to live a deeply considered life: ego, family, work, love, nature, death, and the soul. He considers the experiences that shape us into who we are, whether they're as heart-pounding as a rafting trip through the whitewater of the Grand Canyon, or as ordinary as the moment when we look in the mirror each morning. Through it all, Jenkins leads readers on a wide-ranging conversation about finding fulfillment in the people and places around us, and discovering the courage to show our deepest selves to the world.
The Seven Subjects is a profound reflection from one of our most original writers, a necessary read for anyone seeking a companion on the road to understanding.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published February 2, 2021
595 people are currently reading
16100 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 487 reviews
December 12, 2024
The inner name of this book is Self-Obsession.
Maybe we’re all like that, I don’t know: for extroverts it’s My Way or the Highway, in its grosser and more subtle forms; while to us introverts all our inner thought is self-help. Ego drives the world. Yet both out-dwellers and in-dwellers can find freedom.
Jenkins' way of inner self-obsession is a renewing way of life. We must recognize it as such. Extroverted AND inwardly self-obsessive folks are all part of a Broken World that must be healed. This book shows us one way, the Inner way.
***
Lord,
Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to Sit Still. (T.S. Eliot)
And,
At the still point of the turning world - there the dance is.
That still point is the child within us that we Repress. And it hurts to be there. We fidget, we fuss - and we won’t sit still. But all our real delight is there. We always know it when we find it. Extroverts and introverts both.
Our buried self lives in the pure present tense. We simulate that feeling, sometimes, after a drink or two. While extroverts may find it momentarily in the free space of relaxed conversation - for a rare moment - the pure present seems to lead introverts deeper into themselves.
But the split ways are really one, because they find release in blessed moments.
To the introvert, the shadows of his or her life are the deadlocks of emotional spiderwebs, but the sunlight is humble patience rewarded; but to the extrovert, the shadows are his or her vile passions and the sunlight is heroic classic virtue.
The Way is real. But most of the time we're too well rehearsed for it - and for every disruptive eventuality, and it shows in our restless sleep. The way out is the way within. Or, for extroverts, the way of self-abandonment.
Rage is a result of our restlessness resisted, and it’s painful to be ourselves. We're like the Tin Woodman - our joints need oil! But, you know, our only unexplored space is inner space, for introverts, or outer space for extroverts.
***
We both find peace in opposite directions: the way up and the way down are one. There we find OURSELVES.
Our real selves.
And THAT, friends, is where Jenkins is coming from. Peace is a perpetual possibility for both in self-knowledge.
READ this book, and you may find it here -
For without self-knowledge there is no wisdom:
A condition of complete simplicity
Costing not less than everything
And we only find ourselves, whether introverts or extroverts -
In our rare Timeless Moments.
Maybe we’re all like that, I don’t know: for extroverts it’s My Way or the Highway, in its grosser and more subtle forms; while to us introverts all our inner thought is self-help. Ego drives the world. Yet both out-dwellers and in-dwellers can find freedom.
Jenkins' way of inner self-obsession is a renewing way of life. We must recognize it as such. Extroverted AND inwardly self-obsessive folks are all part of a Broken World that must be healed. This book shows us one way, the Inner way.
***
Lord,
Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to Sit Still. (T.S. Eliot)
And,
At the still point of the turning world - there the dance is.
That still point is the child within us that we Repress. And it hurts to be there. We fidget, we fuss - and we won’t sit still. But all our real delight is there. We always know it when we find it. Extroverts and introverts both.
Our buried self lives in the pure present tense. We simulate that feeling, sometimes, after a drink or two. While extroverts may find it momentarily in the free space of relaxed conversation - for a rare moment - the pure present seems to lead introverts deeper into themselves.
But the split ways are really one, because they find release in blessed moments.
To the introvert, the shadows of his or her life are the deadlocks of emotional spiderwebs, but the sunlight is humble patience rewarded; but to the extrovert, the shadows are his or her vile passions and the sunlight is heroic classic virtue.
The Way is real. But most of the time we're too well rehearsed for it - and for every disruptive eventuality, and it shows in our restless sleep. The way out is the way within. Or, for extroverts, the way of self-abandonment.
Rage is a result of our restlessness resisted, and it’s painful to be ourselves. We're like the Tin Woodman - our joints need oil! But, you know, our only unexplored space is inner space, for introverts, or outer space for extroverts.
***
We both find peace in opposite directions: the way up and the way down are one. There we find OURSELVES.
Our real selves.
And THAT, friends, is where Jenkins is coming from. Peace is a perpetual possibility for both in self-knowledge.
READ this book, and you may find it here -
For without self-knowledge there is no wisdom:
A condition of complete simplicity
Costing not less than everything
And we only find ourselves, whether introverts or extroverts -
In our rare Timeless Moments.
January 18, 2021
Essays gives one a personal look at the authors thoughts and feelings. Subjects here, mimic many of those that impact all of us. Family, home, friendship, love death and others. Home struck a chord with me, his take on how our childhood homes become more special when we no longer live in them, memories of our lives lived within. Regrets about family members we didn't treat as well as we should have and taking the time in adulthood to recognize and correct our childhood blunders, missteps. Death brought his grandmother to the fore, his special relationship with her was one in which I could relate, since I had the same with mine.
This should have wide range appeal, because within there is something for most people. His writing flows well, conversational in tone, gives one much to ponder.
"I wonder how much of who we are comes down to doing what we know we're good at, and avoiding what makes us feel small."
"So much mental energy is spent maintaining self-worth."
I loved the title and the idea of the title. All our streams flow into ourselves and each other. Not the authors particular view, but my own.
This should have wide range appeal, because within there is something for most people. His writing flows well, conversational in tone, gives one much to ponder.
"I wonder how much of who we are comes down to doing what we know we're good at, and avoiding what makes us feel small."
"So much mental energy is spent maintaining self-worth."
I loved the title and the idea of the title. All our streams flow into ourselves and each other. Not the authors particular view, but my own.
February 4, 2021
This book is a warm candle light, illuminating and softly healing the parts of me that are worn, raw, tender, and cracked. I highlighted a lot of this book. Sure, it has its flaws and its platitudes, but above all it's a gift.
May 6, 2020
this collection of essays is heartfelt and inspiring. jenkins is a very thoughtful writer, and reading his words feels like having a conversation with an old friend in a cozy coffee shop with a warm cup of tea. a friend who always challenges you to further open your mind and stay curious, a friend who you’ll always be safe with, one who will never judge you, but always encourage you. it’s a soothing balm during these uncertain times. i loved it.
March 14, 2021
Jed baby, I am so sorry I had to do you like this. A 3 star for one of my favorite humans (that I don’t know) on this earth. It just didn’t do it for me friend.
I love the way Jed looks at the world. He has such a keen and perceptive understanding of how it all works, that I find myself in awe, wanting to emulate his ideas and make them my reality. Which is what I’ve always loved about him. But in this one, they were all so jumbled around. This sophomore book had little golden nuggets of wisdom, but he didn’t stay on an idea too long for me to get the full gist of what he was saying. He was writing the way we all think, jumping from one idea to the next, without much regard for fleshing out an idea. He was talking to us like we are his friends, which I’d like to think of myself as one, but I think in this moment, I didn’t need a friend, I wanted the deep, whip-smart, nuanced philosophy he is known for. I wanted him to spin a web I could get stuck in.
I think the thing I took away the most from this was his ideas on work. We have only been working for like the past 100 years or so, so no wonder we all don’t know what we’re doing with our lives, because we never had the option to choose. Survival was our career. I found this concept rather fascinating because I hadn’t actually taken the time to think about it. As a world we’ve become so modernized we don’t even stop to think that in a past not too far away things were all so different, and there wasn’t the pressures we’re facing today. I’ve been having this crisis ever since I graduated college. Nothing appeals to me. I don’t like anything I’ve done. And I feel like I don’t have a calling. But maybe my calling is not having a calling?
I love the way Jed looks at the world. He has such a keen and perceptive understanding of how it all works, that I find myself in awe, wanting to emulate his ideas and make them my reality. Which is what I’ve always loved about him. But in this one, they were all so jumbled around. This sophomore book had little golden nuggets of wisdom, but he didn’t stay on an idea too long for me to get the full gist of what he was saying. He was writing the way we all think, jumping from one idea to the next, without much regard for fleshing out an idea. He was talking to us like we are his friends, which I’d like to think of myself as one, but I think in this moment, I didn’t need a friend, I wanted the deep, whip-smart, nuanced philosophy he is known for. I wanted him to spin a web I could get stuck in.
I think the thing I took away the most from this was his ideas on work. We have only been working for like the past 100 years or so, so no wonder we all don’t know what we’re doing with our lives, because we never had the option to choose. Survival was our career. I found this concept rather fascinating because I hadn’t actually taken the time to think about it. As a world we’ve become so modernized we don’t even stop to think that in a past not too far away things were all so different, and there wasn’t the pressures we’re facing today. I’ve been having this crisis ever since I graduated college. Nothing appeals to me. I don’t like anything I’ve done. And I feel like I don’t have a calling. But maybe my calling is not having a calling?
September 17, 2023
Jenkins rambles with disarmingly honesty, and everything he says is based on his own experience. It's great to see somebody so into the happiness of discovering and conveying personal insight.
July 27, 2020
I hadn't read Jedediah Jenkns before. Perhaps people who are already fans of his will enjoy this book. It reads like a string of individual diary entries - loosely connected observations about life. The observations occasionally contradict each other.
Not my cup of tea.
Not my cup of tea.
February 6, 2021
Honestly, I was so excited to get this book after waiting six months for it, and it was a bit of a letdown. I loved Jed’s first book; his philosophical musings scattered throughout the story were interesting and added depth to the memoir, but this one felt like a bunch of Instagram captions smashed together, which truth be told he actually disclosed. I bookmarked a few insightful pages that I’ll return to but overall, I just feel kinda disappointed.
May 8, 2021
this was so lovely to read, it felt like a warm hug 😭😭 Jenkins has such a talent for not just refreshing your perspective but also making you feel understood and valid in a way where there’s still room to grow. a lot of what he talks about in terms of ego/family/friendship/work/social life (basically all of it lol) really resonated with me + i could not recommend this enough!!
February 13, 2021
"We can't become wise without living first. We can't know peace without chaos first. We can't know belonging until we've hedged our bets on the wrong clan and felt alone in a crowded room."
"Wisdom is not gentle, but it is kind, because it knows the real world is where peace lives. It knows that the happiness of fulfilled desire is as lasting as the first bite of cake."
Absolutely loved this book. This is one you keep on your nightstand and come back to again and again. Jed has a profound way with words. Just beautiful.
"Wisdom is not gentle, but it is kind, because it knows the real world is where peace lives. It knows that the happiness of fulfilled desire is as lasting as the first bite of cake."
Absolutely loved this book. This is one you keep on your nightstand and come back to again and again. Jed has a profound way with words. Just beautiful.
May 18, 2024
This book rejuvenated me as a whole and reinvigorated my love and longing for nature, for home, for community. A breath of fresh air from Jed. I adore him.
December 23, 2024
huge fan of the flow of this book. i felt very seen by many of the feelings of this author. i like his writing style and the energy behind his thoughts. i was underlining things left and right. the elements he looks for in friendships were wonderful to me including but not limited to curiosity and awe. wasn’t as obsessed with the last couple chapters, but that did not take away from my overall admiration for the book.
reminders:
“let people show you who they are.”
“questions give it energy, not the answers.”
“I saw it there, and I loved it. I guess I would’ve loved it even if I had never seen it, because the thing in me that loved the flower was already there.”
reminders:
“let people show you who they are.”
“questions give it energy, not the answers.”
“I saw it there, and I loved it. I guess I would’ve loved it even if I had never seen it, because the thing in me that loved the flower was already there.”
September 2, 2020
Reading this book felt like I was reading the author’s diary entries. At times the thoughts jump from one to the next and can feel disconnected, leaving you wanting more. But Jenkins’ writing is addicting and makes you as a reader want to be able to respond, sit with a coffee and keep talking about it with him. I particularly connected to his thoughts on friendship and loved some of the personal stories he shared, which were beautifully portrayed. I look forward to more of his writing to come.
July 4, 2021
3.5. This book was heartfelt and touching. It made me constantly reflect on my life and my “would’ve”, “could’ve”and “should’ve” moments that everyone dwells on. I personally did not connect with the religious aspects of the book, and I wish that the book had a better flow to it, but I will definitely be returning to the quotes that I highlighted.
April 29, 2021
I need to read this again, but slower & with a pen
March 24, 2025
4.5 I really loved the way he writes. I thought he was able to pinpoint some thought patterns I’ve found my self in and that is one of his big points that by trying to articulate our experiences, we not only undertsand ourselves better, but we can give others a voice and connect over shared experiences. I’m going to be thinking a lot more about the power of words, those said to others and those we say to ourselves. Over time, they become a self fulfilling prophecy.
I really liked how the chapter on work was about effort in all parts of life, rather than just work from a career lens. That’s a takeaway about perseverance being a universal muscle in life.
Dropped it to a 4.5 because I have this thing about ppls memoirs or this essay style of book where I feel I can learn so much about them and from the lessons they have learned. But I know to really understand the things they are talking about, I must live them. But I think that’s the point of someone writing a book like this. To give guidance, or pointers so someone can still fail and learn on their own, just maybe not as spectacularly; or they can be caught a little less unawares in the face of fate.
I really liked how the chapter on work was about effort in all parts of life, rather than just work from a career lens. That’s a takeaway about perseverance being a universal muscle in life.
Dropped it to a 4.5 because I have this thing about ppls memoirs or this essay style of book where I feel I can learn so much about them and from the lessons they have learned. But I know to really understand the things they are talking about, I must live them. But I think that’s the point of someone writing a book like this. To give guidance, or pointers so someone can still fail and learn on their own, just maybe not as spectacularly; or they can be caught a little less unawares in the face of fate.
January 8, 2025
I want this book to play on repeat in my head. The way the Jedidiah Jenkins is able to write about such real human emotions was so refreshing. Touching on elements of ego, love, family, and home, this book provides perspective on a lot of aspects of life that most of us bottle up and don’t think to address.
January 20, 2025
Came back to leave my review! I love this author and it took me ages to read this book because every time I read it I was underlining words he said that I loved. I also felt like I read a lot of the parts at different seasons in my life so things hit well. I highly recommend:)
April 29, 2021
This book is Chicken Soup for the Disillusioned Millennial Soul. An honest, empathetic, thought-provoking exploration of what it means to life a full or meaningful life in our messy, automated, capitalist assembly line of a society.
The structure was really unique and refreshing. The short entries serve as a great alternative bro instagram when you've got a few minutes to fill. I bought this just so I could refer back to and meditate on these ideas.
All in all, a great book for anyone with a tendency to question life or wonder if there's got to be another way to exist aside from the dominant cultural narrative. Highly recommend!
The structure was really unique and refreshing. The short entries serve as a great alternative bro instagram when you've got a few minutes to fill. I bought this just so I could refer back to and meditate on these ideas.
All in all, a great book for anyone with a tendency to question life or wonder if there's got to be another way to exist aside from the dominant cultural narrative. Highly recommend!
June 13, 2023
been delaying writing this review for a while now. how do i describe someone’s raw and thoughtful articulation of the aches and joys of life? i can’t. but i can say that this book is honest & silly & philosophical and if you don’t like deep contemplation then you won’t appreciate it to its fullest capacity.
March 30, 2021
bit too early 2010s tumblr essays
March 20, 2021
3.5 stars
This was an introspective collection of essays about why we are who we are. The author reflects on love, ego, work, family and more from his perspective as a Christian gay man. The writer shares his thoughts on why he is the way he is. He admits to his faults and tells us how he's tried to correct his mistakes. He then offers advice on how others can do the same in their own lives. The stories he shared were deeply personal at times, including how he bullied his brother growing up. As part of one essay he shares how be apologized to his brother for his treatment of him as a kid. The essays all have a spiritual vibe to them as the author muses philosophical about love, life, and self.
Thank you to the publisher for the review copy!
This was an introspective collection of essays about why we are who we are. The author reflects on love, ego, work, family and more from his perspective as a Christian gay man. The writer shares his thoughts on why he is the way he is. He admits to his faults and tells us how he's tried to correct his mistakes. He then offers advice on how others can do the same in their own lives. The stories he shared were deeply personal at times, including how he bullied his brother growing up. As part of one essay he shares how be apologized to his brother for his treatment of him as a kid. The essays all have a spiritual vibe to them as the author muses philosophical about love, life, and self.
Thank you to the publisher for the review copy!
January 5, 2024
I would recommend this book to anyone, but especially to those who are feeling lost in their twenties. If you’re questioning what you want to do, who you want to surround yourself with, why you are the way you are then this book is a perfect read. I found it insightful, relatable, and comforting to read as someone who is feeling confused about who they are and who they want to become. His notes on ego, family, home, friendship, love, work, death, and the soul all come together to explain how we’re made into who we are in this moment.
April 7, 2021
I’ve often said Cheryl Strayed and Jedidiah Jenkins are the truth. This book is the perfect example. Jed takes a deep dive into eight of life’s biggest components and explores them with such vigorous honesty. I laughed, I cried, I often found myself nodding along or saying, “yes, me too”. I so admire how he can take something that appears so simple and make it seem profound. A collection I will come back to often.
February 21, 2022
Flawless and incredibly thought provoking. Jedidiah Jenkins has given the deepest, innermost thoughts a stunning voice yet again. Thank you, Jedidiah. I cannot stop recommending this book to all my loved ones and I will definitely be re-reading.
March 25, 2024
This one is going to be read again, highlighted, annotated, quotes written in my journal. Beautiful writing from a person that shares many of the gravity points I turn toward. Nature, gratitude, adventure, and family. Makes me want to raft the Grand Canyon with 20 of my friends.
January 13, 2022
Wow. I read this book at a time when I really needed it; lots of questions, curiosity, inner dialogue and dissecting. And lots of personal learning. So many thoughts. You’ll have to find me in person for a more detailed review.
July 26, 2022
It is one of those books that makes you fell as if you were telling it. I felt identified in several situations. It was really like listening to a friend comment on his deepest reflections on life, those that many of us think about.
It took me almost a year to read it and it was a great journey, it was accompanying this time of many changes.
It took me almost a year to read it and it was a great journey, it was accompanying this time of many changes.
July 21, 2024
On the surface, one wouldn’t think Jedidiah Jenkins and I have much in common, but wow! It’s like he just gets it and can explain everything I’m feeling in my soul.
January 3, 2022
I really like Jed's writing.
"Life is about who you're around. Your sense of self is built or broken by the company you keep."
"Life is about who you're around. Your sense of self is built or broken by the company you keep."
Displaying 1 - 30 of 487 reviews