How to Rule the World: A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator

by André de Guillaume

Everyone wants to rule the world, but only a precious few have the skills to create an ironclad plan of attack. Simple, direct, and delightfully unprincipled, this guide contains tales of global power mongering from every age and endeavors to show dilettante dictators and tyrants-to-be just how it's done. Tips are provided on creating a personal flag, what type of puppet government to establish, how to squelch free speech, and, most important, how to handle enemies. Also included are humorous full-color illustrations, sidebars on admirable despots, and self-quizzes that allow readers to see if they have what it takes to conquer the world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Politics, History, Comedy, Historical, Reference

144 pages, Paperback

First published November 14, 2002

Reviews

[Hosius Mr · Rating 4 out of 5]

چگونه یک دیکتاتور باشیم؟ یک دیکتاتور موفق چه ویژگی هایی داره؟ چقدر باید بلند پرواز باشیم؟ چه مراحلی رو برای دیکتاتور شدن باید انجام بدیم؟ آیا ما واقعا در یک جهان آزاد زندگی می کنیم؟
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آندره د گیلوم در این کتاب با زبان طنز تلخ (واقعا طنز بود؟) تمام مراحلی که برای دیکتاتور شدن لازم هست رو بیان کرده و میشه گفت این کتاب یک جور دستور العمل برای دیکتاتور شدن هست، و برای تمام موارد ذکر شده در کتاب هم مثال هایی از رهبران جهان وجود داره.
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میشه گفت خواندن این کتاب تا حدی دیدتون نسبت به جامعه رو تغییر میده، و متوجه میشید که اساس کار دیکتاتورها در تمام دوران به یک شکل بوده و بجز دیکتاتورهای بزرگ، در اطرافمون کلی دیکتاتور و قدرت طلب کوچک هم داریم!
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از متن کتاب:
اگر شهریاری نیت حفظ قدرتش را دارد، نباید به هیچ فضیلت و اصل اخلاقی پایبند باشد. "نیکولو ماکیاولی
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کتاب در چند قسمت کوچک مشکل ترجمه داره که البته زیاد به چشم نمیاد!

[Ardavan Bayat · Rating 3 out of 5]

من نمره واقعی 3.5 ستاره

انتظار یک طنز قه‌قهه‌آور نداشتم
ترجمه خیلی خوب و ساده بود، همچنان که به زبان نوشتاری بود دچار شکستگی زبان گفتار نبود.

[Melika_ghanami · Rating 3 out of 5]

کتاب بیشتر جنبه طنز داشت و راهکارهای خیلی جالب و بدون هیچ گونه خط قرمزی برای دیکتاتور بودن ...

[Nadienne Williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's obvious satire...and kind of funny...and it has a quote from Donald Trump (some nonsense about how money only exists to keep score - 'cause he's an unrepentant asshole).

It would probably make a fun novelty gift for someone's birthday and/or other celebration. The jokes were funny when I first read this 20 or so years ago...but, in the face of everything happening today, they are sadly to on the nose to what the far reich is doing in the USA, at the moment, to illicit a check (more a sense of existential dread).

[Amber Lea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up a copy of this book at a quaint little book shop December of 2016. They had a Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump display that was marked 50% off. This was the only book that wasn't actually BY or about either candidate, but they let me have if for half price anyway.

It. is. hilarious.

It also mentions BOTH Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. And I feel the need to point out that this edition was published in 2005, before either of them ran. This book isn't that long (160 small pages) and it really doesn't mention that many people (the index with explanations of who each person is and where they were mentioned is only three pages) so that's kind of amazing.

There was an earlier edition that was published in 2003, and I wonder if that's the version earlier reviewers read because I thought it was well organized and well written. I see a lot of people complaining that it was too serious or their weren't enough jokes, but to me the entire tone of the book is, "THIS IS A LONG JOKE." And it's funny because it's true.

Also, sometimes I feel the need to quote comical criticisms that were said about a book in all earnestness in other reviews.

1) "The illustrations are terribly amateurish. Several real world rulers are depicted, but bear only a suggestive resemblance to their real-life counterparts. Everything in the pictures are odd: shoes are thick rectangles, everyone's head is a square, and the main character (the one on the cover) has pants that are 4x as thick as his legs."

2) "Clearly aimed exclusively at male readers. Kept telling me that if I did x/y/z I would "get women" like women are some kind of ornament."

Yeah, this guide to being a terrible person isn't feminist enough. One star.

[Andy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A cartoon version of the books by Robert Greene. Greene's big books are presented as serious non-fiction but are so exaggerated they're funny, whereas this little piece is advertised as humor from the get-go, but then works hard to be dead serious. Some bits are funny in a dark, absurd way. But true facts about Hitler are not funny. Not that Hitler can never be funny; Hitler as seen by Mel Brooks is funny. But Hitler, Capone, Mao, etc. for real: not funny. And the story about the coup on the non-existent island just fell flat for me.

Overall, good as a quick primer on sociopaths if you're stuck in an airport or something.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book for review is “ How To Rule The World: A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator”.

I love to laugh and this book did it for me. It was not a small cover your mouth and look around to see who can hear you oh no. The laughs that came out were belly shaking, sides hurting and glasses being filled with tears kind of laughter.

The author’s quirky sense of humor is a delight. Let me share with you the table of contents for that is the best way to review this book.

Why Rule The World?

Have You Got What It Takes?

Apprenticeship:The Wilderness Years

Career Paths To The Top

Achieving Power

How To Run A Country

Staying In Power

Advanced World Rule

Power And Wealth

Power And Love

Posterity:Leaving Your Mark

On Retirement

It ends with a short chapter on how the author made his attempted coup plus another chapter on the who’s who in “How To Rule The World”.

The book is not very big the chapters and pages short but what you get out of it is a whole bunch of laughing. He gets 5 stars for this book. The humor is not for everyone but it suited me just fine.

[Fairy Alonto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like the subtitle reads: A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator.

Very well-written. Direct to the point. If Andre was a world ruler, I would literally find ways to be invisible by now.

Bonus:
1) Mind games/ Scenario games
2) A short description of the world's best/worst authorized personalities ever.
3) Fun drawing that keeps you turning the pages for more.
4) Well-thought quotes.
5) Trivia about some of the world's most powerful creatures ever existed.
6) Great book recommendations.

Wrap-up: Just FILLING.

Final Word: A Must.

[Abolfazl Izadi · Rating 2 out of 5]

عنوان کتاب به وضوح نشان دهنده آن چیزی است که در کتاب شرح داده شده است.همزمان با توضیح
موارد مختلف سیاسی برای دیکتاتور بودن مثال های خیلی خوب و گلچین شده ای هم بیان شده که باعث تثبیت موارد گفته شده در ذهن خواننده می شود .

[Stacy Simpson · Rating 1 out of 5]

I only read this for a good laugh and it did give me that. It has a lot of good info on dictators and it does have pictures. Ok read if u have it.

[Alizam · Rating 2 out of 5]

کنابیست طنز آلود، خالی از محتوا نیست
اما چیزی برای تعمق نمی‌بینم.
بیشتر یک خشم فروخورده و منفعل است که از در طنز بازتاب یافته.
کتابی برای خوانش تفریحی اهل کتاب است.

[pedramjarf · Rating 5 out of 5]

دقت كرده ايد كه وقتي يك بچه كوچك براي غذا ،اسباب بازي يا عوض كردن پوشك كثيفش جيغ و داد راه مي اندازد پدر و مادرش چطور سراسيمه براي تامين خواسته اش به اين سو و آن سو مي دوند.كودكان بزرگترين ديكتاتورها هستندآنها هميشه چيزي را كه مي خواهند به دست مي آورندوتنها در ازاي يك خنده يا يك صداي نامفهوم، پدرومادر تمام اذيت و آزار شان را فراموش مي كنند و از صميم قلب قربان صدقه شان مي روند.حالا تصور كنيد اگر تمام طول عمرتان بتوانيد اين گونه فرمانفرمايي كنيد،چه شود! تمام دنيا يا دستكم تمام دنيايي كه مي شناسيد براي خشنودي شما و ارضاي اميال كودك درونتان سراسيمه به اين سو و آن سو مي دوند.زندگي مي شود عين بهشت.شما آدمي مي شويد كه از ساير جماعت دوروبرتان سرتريد، يك ابر انسانيد.يك پيشواي فرزانه.

[Dennis Kocik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite what some of these reviewers think, this was a great read. The author perused history and pulled some of the best bits of information from every age to illustrate the points and topics he wished to cover on anyone's road to the ultimate top of the pack. The information was useful, informative, and in some instances humorous -especially when comparing the incompetency's of Democracy and the democratic process to that of an Authoritarian regime...humorous and also deadly accurate. Recommended.

[Usman Chohan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator... Might be the greatest book Ever.

[Shakiba Ghiasi · Rating 5 out of 5]

عالی بود. As a representative of truth

[Sophie Brodie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ha. Hahahahahaahahaha. HA!
Why is this comedic take so scarily accurate?! It makes light of the darkest aspects of careerist politics which is both refreshing and unsettling. I bought this to balance out my other recent read of The Communist Manifesto, in the same month that Donald Trump won the 2024 Presidential Election - what a time to read this.
De Guillaume nails the historical observations and blasé attitudes that many renowned world leaders have had. It's very ambiguous, this book. It could be a bit of light entertainment for most readers, but I actually think - in the wrong (right?!) hands - it is very much a direct manual.
Here's to politics, ae? 🤣🙃

[Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I was an ambitious and unscrupulous preteen, I expressed a belief, often and loudly, that if the right person were to take over the world, basically all of the problems we faced as a society would be simply and efficiently solved. My father gave me this book as a present in response, and I recall enjoying it quite a lot. My political views have changed somewhat as I've gotten older, but the (largely fictitious) idea of the enlightened dictator as the answer to all of society's ills still has a fond place in my memory

[Seth Turnage · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly made me sick to my stomach, but it delivers on what it advertises as being.

[Bradley · Rating 3 out of 5]

A practical guide to tyranny. =)

[monicadear · Rating 3 out of 5]

Silly!

[Nima · Rating 1 out of 5]

خب یک ستاره هم زیادش بود، توی خریدش گول انتشاراتش که مروارید بود رو خوردم و بعید میدونستم کتاب بد بده بیرون

[Farshidjahanmanesh · Rating 5 out of 5]

فان و زیبا.
شدیدا جذاب و میشه توی ی روز کل کتابش رو خوند.
شدیدا توصیه میکنمش

[Ramin · Rating 5 out of 5]

با طنزی تلخ به بیان الگوی مشترک دیکتاتوری ها میپردازد.

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

A mildly amusing jab at the qualities dictators (and aspirants) have to succeed in their chosen profession.

[Fatemeh.Aziz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good

[Sheyda · Rating 3 out of 5]

کتابی صربح از سیاست های دیکتاتورها
عالی و علمی نبود تجربی تحلیلی بود ولی خب میتونست با طرز فکر دیکتاتوران اشنایی سطحی خوبی رو بده.

[Steve Cameron · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a light hearted little book about how to become a despot. Some of the advice seems to have been taken on by Vladimir Putin.

[Dario · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ja, wieso auch nicht?

[Kyle Berry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though not without a kernel of truth, this book is a very tongue-in-cheek take on rising to total power, with plenty of historical anecdotes. Humorous but cautionary, whimsical but abhorrent.

[Maximus Woodard · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s quite kino but some parts kind of feel like an inside joke between friends, whether or not you know what the meanings or not.