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The Book of Not Entirely Useful Advice
A poetry collection that encourages readers to think critically!
Packed with rhymes and wordplay, A.F. Harrold's poetry is filled with fun--and advice. But it's not always the most useful. . .
Never apologize to a door you've walked into, unless it's a really special door.
Don't serve a cat soup when the cat wants jelly. Tomato soup won't fill a feline belly.
Don't put a rock in a roll, unless you hate having teeth.
Among the seemingly nonsensical stanzas on onions, sausages, and kilted koalas are exercises in critical thinking--what advice should readers follow, and what should they dismiss?
Packed with rhymes and wordplay, A.F. Harrold's poetry is filled with fun--and advice. But it's not always the most useful. . .
Never apologize to a door you've walked into, unless it's a really special door.
Don't serve a cat soup when the cat wants jelly. Tomato soup won't fill a feline belly.
Don't put a rock in a roll, unless you hate having teeth.
Among the seemingly nonsensical stanzas on onions, sausages, and kilted koalas are exercises in critical thinking--what advice should readers follow, and what should they dismiss?
160 pages, Hardcover
First published September 3, 2020
2 people are currently reading
57 people want to read
About the author
A.F. Harrold
32 books125 followersA.F. Harrold is an English poet. He writes and performs for adults and children, in cabaret and in schools, in bars and in basements, in fields and indoors. He was Glastonbury Festival Website's Poet-In-Residence in 2008, and Poet-In-Residence at Cheltenham Literature Festival in 2010. He won the Cheltenham All Stars Slam Championship in 2007 and has had his work on BBC Radio 4, Radio 3 and BBC7. He is active in schools work, running workshops and slams and doing performances at ungodly hours of the morning, and has published several collections of poetry. He is the owner of many books, a handful of hats, a few good ideas and one beard
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
October 18, 2020
This review comes from my 7-year-old, who says: "These poems are very funny and very silly! DEFINITELY five stars!"
I haven't managed to steal the book off him for long enough to read it all through myself, but I've watched him laugh over it for weeks now, he's read several of the poems out loud to me very dramatically, and he's right: the poems he's read me ARE all very funny and very silly (and delightful)! And the illustrations are fabulous too.
I haven't managed to steal the book off him for long enough to read it all through myself, but I've watched him laugh over it for weeks now, he's read several of the poems out loud to me very dramatically, and he's right: the poems he's read me ARE all very funny and very silly (and delightful)! And the illustrations are fabulous too.
February 23, 2024
A collection of (mostly) silly poems for kids by a British author - which I only mention because there are lots of britishisms: rock cakes, jelly, pud, shortbread fingers, biscuits, and of course tea, and that’s just in section 1, “Advice Relating Mainly to Food, Ducks, and Dessert.”
Some of the poems works for me, some don’t. Here's one I found particularly delightful:
The Point
Point to the sky
Draw a line from your finger.
It'll go on forever.
Through light and through darkness.
Past astronauts sleeping.
Past clouds and past planets.
Through silence unmeasured.
Through time uncounted.
A line that's so long.
It will never stop going.
Long after you've dropped
your hand to your side.
And gone back indoors.
That line is still sketching.
Onward and outward.
Universe threading.
Oh, your finger's a marvel.
Take care where you point it.
Some of the poems works for me, some don’t. Here's one I found particularly delightful:
The Point
Point to the sky
Draw a line from your finger.
It'll go on forever.
Through light and through darkness.
Past astronauts sleeping.
Past clouds and past planets.
Through silence unmeasured.
Through time uncounted.
A line that's so long.
It will never stop going.
Long after you've dropped
your hand to your side.
And gone back indoors.
That line is still sketching.
Onward and outward.
Universe threading.
Oh, your finger's a marvel.
Take care where you point it.
August 3, 2021
Sometimes A.F. Harrold's poetry was hilarious. Other times it missed the mark completely. I'm glad another children's poet is taking up the mantle of humor, although I wish the poems were more consistently extraordinary.
November 21, 2021
Clever poems for all occasions for middle grade readers. Plenty of humor in both the poetry and the illustrations as Harrold shares thoughts and recommendations on life. Through the humor, some serious points slip in too.
November 16, 2020
The Book of Not Entirely Useful Advice is packed full of exactly that – advice of all kinds that may or may not be useful. Did you know, for example, that you should never serve soup to a cat, never put a rock in a roll, don’t put mustard on a dog, don’t kiss anything with a hiss, and don’t use an octopus for a hat? You’ll learn about the general dangers of broccoli, how to help yourself to cheer up, how to dance like a poet, and what makes a bad belt. There is advice to make you laugh, cringe, ponder, or just go ‘huh?’
I absolutely love this book! A.F. Harrold and Mini Grey have created a gorgeous book that begs you to pick it up. The title alone is intriguing and makes you wonder what advice you might find inside. When you open the covers you find a collection of silly, absurd, funny, and thoughtful poems that kids of all ages (and adults) will love. The book is split into different sections, with titles like ‘Advice mainly relating to animals, giants and the natural world,’ and ‘Advice mainly relating to school life, onions and general-knowledge-type stuff.’ The book is illustrated throughout by Mini Grey whose illustrations are bright and full of silliness. I especially love her illustration of mini-A.F. Harrold who keeps popping up in poems throughout the book.
There are so many poems that I loved in this collection. ‘Inside’ perfectly captures the feeling of being lost in a book, ‘Silences’ is about appreciating the silence around us, and ‘Say something nice’ is about taking the time to say something nice to those around us. A.F. Harrold has also created The Advice-a-Tron 216 which is designed to give you some ready-at-hand advice when someone asks you for some. There are three columns, with a beginning, a middle and an end to choose. You just have a to roll a six-sided dice three times to come up with your advice. It might be ‘Always squeeze a banana’ or ‘If lost point at a man called Greg.’ There is even a blank Advice-a-Tron 216 in the back of the book that you can photocopy and fill in with your own suggestions. This would be a really fun activity to do in class.
The Book of Not Entirely Useful Advice is a must-have addition to every school library poetry collection but would also make a wonderful gift for children of all ages. It will be a poetry book that will be enjoyed again and again.
I absolutely love this book! A.F. Harrold and Mini Grey have created a gorgeous book that begs you to pick it up. The title alone is intriguing and makes you wonder what advice you might find inside. When you open the covers you find a collection of silly, absurd, funny, and thoughtful poems that kids of all ages (and adults) will love. The book is split into different sections, with titles like ‘Advice mainly relating to animals, giants and the natural world,’ and ‘Advice mainly relating to school life, onions and general-knowledge-type stuff.’ The book is illustrated throughout by Mini Grey whose illustrations are bright and full of silliness. I especially love her illustration of mini-A.F. Harrold who keeps popping up in poems throughout the book.
There are so many poems that I loved in this collection. ‘Inside’ perfectly captures the feeling of being lost in a book, ‘Silences’ is about appreciating the silence around us, and ‘Say something nice’ is about taking the time to say something nice to those around us. A.F. Harrold has also created The Advice-a-Tron 216 which is designed to give you some ready-at-hand advice when someone asks you for some. There are three columns, with a beginning, a middle and an end to choose. You just have a to roll a six-sided dice three times to come up with your advice. It might be ‘Always squeeze a banana’ or ‘If lost point at a man called Greg.’ There is even a blank Advice-a-Tron 216 in the back of the book that you can photocopy and fill in with your own suggestions. This would be a really fun activity to do in class.
The Book of Not Entirely Useful Advice is a must-have addition to every school library poetry collection but would also make a wonderful gift for children of all ages. It will be a poetry book that will be enjoyed again and again.
November 22, 2020
Having shared this with both my boys (6&7) I can confirm what I already thought when I read this poetry collection myself: this is an excellent, sumptuous addition to the poetry canon for children. Harrold, already an accomplished and much-published author of adult and children's poetry has separated this collection into four sections all which offer utterly nonsensical 'advice' to the reader. The first is around food; the second, animals; the third is school-based and the final one is on 'the human condition' but if I am honest, crossovers occur with humorous abandon. I especially appreciated the frequent mentioning of hats throughout.
Harrold's deceptively madcap poetry plays with puns and word-play as well and presents a swathe of humorous images and moments which had me smiling, grinning and even uttering a chortle or two. From the tongue-in-cheek readers' introduction to the rather wonderfully creative and interactive 'final notes' at the end (in which readers are encouraged to create their own poetry-making machine), A.F. has collated a ticklish tribe of funny, witty and plain silly poems.
The thread which truly binds all of A.F.'s poems together though is Mini Grey's deliciously zany artwork. She has been given free reign over these pages and we are gifted in having her work presented in full colour. Never one to simply embellish what is said on the page, Mini adds her own slice of humour throughout and these are just as funny as the poems themselves: I particularly loved the rock-spotting episode.
This poetry collection is a veritable treat for the ears and eyes and would make for a perfect gift or classroom accompaniment. Each poem begs to be read out loud and shared. It was clear throughout too that extremely careful editing has gone into the production for this is as beautiful and fresh as it is belly-shakingly hilarious.
Harrold's deceptively madcap poetry plays with puns and word-play as well and presents a swathe of humorous images and moments which had me smiling, grinning and even uttering a chortle or two. From the tongue-in-cheek readers' introduction to the rather wonderfully creative and interactive 'final notes' at the end (in which readers are encouraged to create their own poetry-making machine), A.F. has collated a ticklish tribe of funny, witty and plain silly poems.
The thread which truly binds all of A.F.'s poems together though is Mini Grey's deliciously zany artwork. She has been given free reign over these pages and we are gifted in having her work presented in full colour. Never one to simply embellish what is said on the page, Mini adds her own slice of humour throughout and these are just as funny as the poems themselves: I particularly loved the rock-spotting episode.
This poetry collection is a veritable treat for the ears and eyes and would make for a perfect gift or classroom accompaniment. Each poem begs to be read out loud and shared. It was clear throughout too that extremely careful editing has gone into the production for this is as beautiful and fresh as it is belly-shakingly hilarious.
January 3, 2022
"Don’t put mustard on dogs, no matter how hot they look, unless you know the dog very well beforehand.
Never apologize to a door you’ve walked into, unless it’s a really special door.
Don’t put a rock in a roll, unless you hate having teeth."
Not everything in this book is necessarily good advice, and not all of it is sensible advice. (But if you take the bad or un-sensible advice and don’t follow it, then it may become useful advice in its own way.)
This children’s book is filled with seemingly nonsensical stanzas on a wide variety of subjects ranging between food, animals and nature, school life, general knowledge, and miscellaneous subjects pertaining to the human condition. The poems are hysterically fun, witty bits of advice, silly at best, with their usefulness highly questionable. And this is where it calls for some critical thinking… deciding which parts are important. To you.
The book is illustrated by Mini Grey in a bright and quirky style that brings out the absurdity of these poems. There are little notes scattered throughout the book, both by the author and illustrator. There are also little exercises to create your own rollicking rhymes with witty word play and fizzing fun.
For e.g. If lost, sing about your elbows. (I made that using the Advice-A-Tron 216. I bet A.F. Harrold would be proud of me 😁)
This will make you laugh until your sides hurt and you might even be tempted to go back and re-read them. Children especially will love this and enjoy creating their own (questionable?) advice using the helpful guide.
For complete review, visit https://aquamarineflavours.wordpress....
Find me on other platforms via https://linktr.ee/AshieJayn
Never apologize to a door you’ve walked into, unless it’s a really special door.
Don’t put a rock in a roll, unless you hate having teeth."
Not everything in this book is necessarily good advice, and not all of it is sensible advice. (But if you take the bad or un-sensible advice and don’t follow it, then it may become useful advice in its own way.)
This children’s book is filled with seemingly nonsensical stanzas on a wide variety of subjects ranging between food, animals and nature, school life, general knowledge, and miscellaneous subjects pertaining to the human condition. The poems are hysterically fun, witty bits of advice, silly at best, with their usefulness highly questionable. And this is where it calls for some critical thinking… deciding which parts are important. To you.
The book is illustrated by Mini Grey in a bright and quirky style that brings out the absurdity of these poems. There are little notes scattered throughout the book, both by the author and illustrator. There are also little exercises to create your own rollicking rhymes with witty word play and fizzing fun.
For e.g. If lost, sing about your elbows. (I made that using the Advice-A-Tron 216. I bet A.F. Harrold would be proud of me 😁)
This will make you laugh until your sides hurt and you might even be tempted to go back and re-read them. Children especially will love this and enjoy creating their own (questionable?) advice using the helpful guide.
For complete review, visit https://aquamarineflavours.wordpress....
Find me on other platforms via https://linktr.ee/AshieJayn
September 23, 2021
A. F. Harrold presents young readers with a book of silly poems accompanied by Mini Grey’s vibrant illustrations with their own visual humor. Harrold sets the tone for the book as he confesses upfront that the offered advice “will not only make you happy, not only keep you safe, but also—most importantly—stop you from getting eaten by tigers.” The book’s hodge-podge of advice is divided into four equally nonsensical sections relating to food, ducks, and dessert (“But, watch out for crocodiles in your porridge / and watch out for tigers under your toast”); to animals, giants, and the natural world (“Don’t kiss / anything with a hiss”); to school life, onions, and general-knowledge-type stuff (“Always keep an onion handy / They’re great for self-defense”); and to the human condition, drama, and miscellaneous other subjects that didn’t fit elsewhere (“The merits are debatable / of a castle that’s inflatable”). Back matter includes notes for readers wishing to continue their adventure in advice with directions for creating their own “Advice-A-Tron 216” game and an “Index of Advice, Examples, Morals, and Useful Lessons.”
December 20, 2020
AF Harrold is my favourite merchant of anarchic whimsy, and he finds a perfect partner in crime with Mini Grey.
From the very first parrot saying “Bum”, you will find a masterclass in just ‘getting’ children’s humour.
Never patronising, always gormless, this is a collection that children will love to explore for themselves, finding those poems that really set them off laughing.
Both AF and Mini are great engagers on social media too, and always make time to go the extra mile. I love this.
Two bums up.A.F. HarroldA.F. HarroldA.F. Harrold
From the very first parrot saying “Bum”, you will find a masterclass in just ‘getting’ children’s humour.
Never patronising, always gormless, this is a collection that children will love to explore for themselves, finding those poems that really set them off laughing.
Both AF and Mini are great engagers on social media too, and always make time to go the extra mile. I love this.
Two bums up.A.F. HarroldA.F. HarroldA.F. Harrold
December 16, 2020
A F Harrold is known for his poetic turns of phrase and deeply emotive narratives. He credits stroking his long wild beard as a way to churn out ideas. Well, he must have one very smooth beard for this book of not entirely useful but unarguably hilarious advice is brimming with more fun and folly than you can fit in a bathtub. In fact it virtually runneth over with rhyme, witty word play and enough nonsensical verse stories to keep the most ardent young poetry-lover glued to its pages.
Read more at: Dim's re Views: http://dimswritestuff.blogspot.com/20...
Read more at: Dim's re Views: http://dimswritestuff.blogspot.com/20...
March 16, 2022
This fun collection of poetry is written by English writer/poet/cat dad A.F. Harold and offers advice on all kinds of topics such as bugs, animals, school, food & feelings.
The book has a bright and happy feeling. There are silly rhymes and others that feel more serious and thoughtful. There are cleverly written rhymes that play with language, words and homophones. The poems are great for reading aloud but sometimes you need to see the written words on the page to get the jokes.
I think both kids and adults will love the illustrations. They really help bring the poem’s characters to life and help you picture the crazy scenes described in the poems. Look out for Rock Cakes!
The book has a bright and happy feeling. There are silly rhymes and others that feel more serious and thoughtful. There are cleverly written rhymes that play with language, words and homophones. The poems are great for reading aloud but sometimes you need to see the written words on the page to get the jokes.
I think both kids and adults will love the illustrations. They really help bring the poem’s characters to life and help you picture the crazy scenes described in the poems. Look out for Rock Cakes!
August 25, 2020
This book will make you entertained from the very beginning until its index of advice. It’s a wonderful combination between the poet A.F Harold and the writer and illustrator Mini Grey. It is cleverly written with many layers that can be used to teach children to play with words and ideas and provide hours of laughter and fun with its own advice machine - ‘The advice-a-tron 216.’ I truly enjoyed reading every page of this book. My advice to you: this book is not to be missed!
November 10, 2021
A quirky, silly collection of poems for children. A handful of the poems are clever (like “Dear Diary”) but most are just offbeat and ridiculous with skewed rhyming. Think nonsensical when you pick up this book.
I think the best part about this collection is the bright, fun illustrations that accompany each poem. So great! All in all, it’s fun and quirky, just not as literary as I would have hoped.
I think the best part about this collection is the bright, fun illustrations that accompany each poem. So great! All in all, it’s fun and quirky, just not as literary as I would have hoped.
July 13, 2021
Lily and I had so much fun reading this! We have too many favorites to list, but Duck Soup, Cat Soup, and the one about a spider in the bathtub were the ones she kept requesting. And Rock Cakes. And the one with gravy as perfume. Quirky and smart!
November 20, 2021
Some useful and not-so-useful advice presented through a collection of poems. Categories include food, animals and the natural world, school, and life in general. The poems are humorous and silly, and each has a full-color illustration. For middle grade readers.
February 21, 2022
There was no false advertising here. This book was what it was. A book filled with poems that had advice, but it was not really useful, except for gems here and there.
Verdict: This is good for readers that like silly poems.
Verdict: This is good for readers that like silly poems.
May 5, 2023
I liked the beginning of this collection, but it took awhile for me to read through the book to my 4 sons. I probably would've enjoyed it more if I had been reading it on my own, but it seemed to drag, perhaps because my preschool boys weren't into it.
Want to read
July 21, 2020Note: I accessed a digital review copy of this book through Edelweiss.
March 7, 2021
In amongst the occasional silliness, there is a poem which hits the feels.
September 28, 2021
So fun and engaging, love how the poems and illustrations play off one another.
October 2, 2021
Best pages in the book pages 64 & 65 - The Advice-A-Tron 216!
December 1, 2021
Cute fun book with various forms of poetry! Fun book with silly advice and ideas!
November 11, 2022
3.5 stars. Lovely, silly rhymes. Love the humor! These poems, or pieces of advice rather, fit together quite wonderfully.
Read
December 12, 2023It was very good and funny!
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews