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Single, Again, and Again, and Again …: What Do You Do When Life Doesn't Go to Plan?
Do you feel as if you’ll never find the one ? Are you sick of failed relationships? And are you seriously fed up with comments from friends and family hinting that you’re getting old and need to settle down before it’s too late?
At thirty-six years old, that’s how author Louisa Pateman perceived her situation. She was constantly reminded of how her time was running out. Single, Again, and Again, and Again … follows Pateman and her quest to find her happily ever after.
Convinced all the good men were taken, she continually reassessed her aspirations to accomplish her life plan. Feeling defeated after a string of failed relationships and frustrated with her inability to find her soulmate, she reexamined her priorities and played the cards she was dealt. Finding inner courage, she discovered ways to create extraordinary experiences despite her perceived failures.
At thirty-six years old, that’s how author Louisa Pateman perceived her situation. She was constantly reminded of how her time was running out. Single, Again, and Again, and Again … follows Pateman and her quest to find her happily ever after.
Convinced all the good men were taken, she continually reassessed her aspirations to accomplish her life plan. Feeling defeated after a string of failed relationships and frustrated with her inability to find her soulmate, she reexamined her priorities and played the cards she was dealt. Finding inner courage, she discovered ways to create extraordinary experiences despite her perceived failures.
- GenresMemoir
224 pages, Paperback
First published April 23, 2020
120 people are currently reading
101 people want to read
About the author
Louisa Pateman
1 book4 followersLouisa Pateman is the author of Single, Again, and Again, and Again... She is an Australian woman who loves travelling and writing and has a thirst for knowledge and self-development. Having lived in various cities and countries, she is now enjoying life on the Gold Coast.
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September 22, 2020We all can relate to being single at some point, right? Some of us are fortunate to find “the one” early on and some of us feel lost in the crowd. Although I am not single, I did not meet my husband until 2017 and, like Louisa Pateman, I feared all the good ones were already taken. I spent most of my years before that completely single while occasionally experiencing the sting of bad relationships. I’m looking forward to seeing what Louisa has to share about her own experience and what wisdom she discovered through that.
Thank you to the author and BookTrib for my review copy of this memoir!
Thank you to the author and BookTrib for my review copy of this memoir!
August 28, 2023
This memoir was an enjoyable read and surprised me with how much I liked it. In it Pateman tells of her quest to find happily ever-after ... with the perfect guy and settling down to have wonderful kids ... only to find out that she never exactly finds this picture of happily ever-after. Instead she eventually has to forge her own, other path to get to that conclusion. Her memoir is filled with many international travel adventures and romances with men who don't turn out to be Mr. Right, uh-oh. Much of her storytelling is humorous as well as interesting and thought-provoking and I found her to be quite courageous with her career, her many moves and travels, and ultimately her plans to becoming a mother on her own. You go, girl. Nicely done.
August 29, 2020
This book is an inspiring tale for women who are tired of hearing questions such as “But didn’t you want kids?”, for women who don’t want to think about their body clock, for women who choose to go it alone instead of desperately searching for Prince Charming.
Pateman bares her soul in this memoir and I found myself gaping in horror at some stories, nodding sagely at some others and wanting to throw my fist in the air with a cheer at others still.
Much better than I expected and worth reading for any woman who has ever written a life checklist.
Pateman bares her soul in this memoir and I found myself gaping in horror at some stories, nodding sagely at some others and wanting to throw my fist in the air with a cheer at others still.
Much better than I expected and worth reading for any woman who has ever written a life checklist.
August 26, 2020
3.5 stars
I was a bit skeptical when starting this book, it's a complete 180° from what I'd normally read, but I was pleasantly surprised to find myself enjoying the book!!!
It's the story of a woman whose dreams of finding her "soulmate" and having kids before "turning old" (her words, not mine) goes tumbling out the window, into a pit of fire and burned to a crisp because she hasn't met the one for her.
Some of the stories she tells are fucking hilarious, I highly recommend this to anyone wanting to laugh in horror.
I was a bit skeptical when starting this book, it's a complete 180° from what I'd normally read, but I was pleasantly surprised to find myself enjoying the book!!!
It's the story of a woman whose dreams of finding her "soulmate" and having kids before "turning old" (her words, not mine) goes tumbling out the window, into a pit of fire and burned to a crisp because she hasn't met the one for her.
Some of the stories she tells are fucking hilarious, I highly recommend this to anyone wanting to laugh in horror.
September 6, 2020
No one knows what the future may hold, as we can only be hopeful that it would be what we deserve. Many of us go through life not knowing if things will work out in our favor or if we have to work extra hard for the things we want. There could be reasons why girls were taught to have the end all be all of marriage and children, but how does it hold up in the long run? Does true love exist? If it does, how come many people are struggling to obtain that experience with another person? Love should not be challenging to have, yet the search for a perfect person or "soul mate" seems to prove difficult.
In "Single, Again, and Again, and Again …: What Do You Do When Life Doesn't Go to Plan," author Louisa Pateman introduces her readers to the background story of her love life and how she was set out to fulfill plans she had made for her future. As the title mentions, there are instances when our life plans don't exactly go according to our expectations. Is it because we have mapped out a timeline and want to achieve specific milestones by certain deadlines? Usually, we may feel that if we set our hearts and mind on something, it can be accomplished. The unfortunate thing to wonder is why life doesn't work out that way? The goal of a husband and children we instilled in women from a young age and most are looking to obtain all of that while being happy. There's a saying, "if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans," which seems to correlate with the concept of this book. Louisa has handwritten many plans for her life and she succeeded in fulfilling every successful task, except finding her husband and having children. She begins to understand contentment and not to have an ultimate focus on something that could take longer to have than her peers. The message within this book speaks volumes. Being single isn't as glorified as it should be because if you're a woman who is still single and childless, people begin to wonder if there's something wrong with you, which isn't true. By being successful in school, career moves, constant traveling, there would always come a time you want to share those experiences with that special person. Although she's had a couple of relationship experiences, thinking one of those guys was her potential husband, for it to not work out, was heart-crushing. It's commendable that she didn't give up, but continued pushing forward and steered her focus to her happiness until something changed.
I enjoyed reading this book because it provided a form of realism and relatability on what most women experience. Who doesn't want their happily ever after and to check things off their list of things to accomplish by a certain age. This book's hidden message is telling women that they must be happy with themselves and all they have accomplished thus far. If it's meant to be, it will be without struggling to possess it. I relate to the protagonist because I was also fed this notion that we should be married with children at a certain age, as that was to be our happily ever after. At this point in life, I've learned to just be happy and healthy, and if it's in my cards for this "model" of my future, it will happen. I highly recommend this book to girls and women to read, understand, and take away that life is what you make it, including your happiness.
In "Single, Again, and Again, and Again …: What Do You Do When Life Doesn't Go to Plan," author Louisa Pateman introduces her readers to the background story of her love life and how she was set out to fulfill plans she had made for her future. As the title mentions, there are instances when our life plans don't exactly go according to our expectations. Is it because we have mapped out a timeline and want to achieve specific milestones by certain deadlines? Usually, we may feel that if we set our hearts and mind on something, it can be accomplished. The unfortunate thing to wonder is why life doesn't work out that way? The goal of a husband and children we instilled in women from a young age and most are looking to obtain all of that while being happy. There's a saying, "if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans," which seems to correlate with the concept of this book. Louisa has handwritten many plans for her life and she succeeded in fulfilling every successful task, except finding her husband and having children. She begins to understand contentment and not to have an ultimate focus on something that could take longer to have than her peers. The message within this book speaks volumes. Being single isn't as glorified as it should be because if you're a woman who is still single and childless, people begin to wonder if there's something wrong with you, which isn't true. By being successful in school, career moves, constant traveling, there would always come a time you want to share those experiences with that special person. Although she's had a couple of relationship experiences, thinking one of those guys was her potential husband, for it to not work out, was heart-crushing. It's commendable that she didn't give up, but continued pushing forward and steered her focus to her happiness until something changed.
I enjoyed reading this book because it provided a form of realism and relatability on what most women experience. Who doesn't want their happily ever after and to check things off their list of things to accomplish by a certain age. This book's hidden message is telling women that they must be happy with themselves and all they have accomplished thus far. If it's meant to be, it will be without struggling to possess it. I relate to the protagonist because I was also fed this notion that we should be married with children at a certain age, as that was to be our happily ever after. At this point in life, I've learned to just be happy and healthy, and if it's in my cards for this "model" of my future, it will happen. I highly recommend this book to girls and women to read, understand, and take away that life is what you make it, including your happiness.
November 2, 2020
This book was not at all what I expected it to be. It was better. I thought it was going to be another memoir about the trials and tribulations of dating. While some of the book was exactly that, it was so much more.
Louisa demonstrates such strength, perseverance, and hope to all women in all situations. I feel like everyone can relate to something in this book. Whether single, married, a parent or not.
She does such an excellent job of putting her emotions and experiences into words and describing precisely how she's arrived at her version of happiness and how it's okay that everyone's situation and meaning of happiness is different.
Special thanks to Booktrib books for my copy!
#booktribbooks
Louisa demonstrates such strength, perseverance, and hope to all women in all situations. I feel like everyone can relate to something in this book. Whether single, married, a parent or not.
She does such an excellent job of putting her emotions and experiences into words and describing precisely how she's arrived at her version of happiness and how it's okay that everyone's situation and meaning of happiness is different.
Special thanks to Booktrib books for my copy!
#booktribbooks
August 18, 2021
This memoir is about a young woman's quest to find her Mr. Right to marry and start a family. She writes about her early childhood in the first chapter and has a writing style that is easy to read. Her memories and stories are relateable and humorous at times. She writes about how fairytales groom young girls into believing that young women need to be rescued by a rich, charming Prince and live happily ever after. Like most young girls, she wanted to fall in love and be happy. In her teenage years, Louisa and her friends enjoyed watching romantic comedies and talking about the boys at school that they liked.
After being accepted to a university in Sydney, she created a life plan for herself that included finding a potential husband by age 23, and getting married at 26. She had questions about knowing who Mr. Right would be. How could she tell if he was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with? She is very honest and writes about having anxiety and fear that she might not meet her soulmate and have to settle for someone else.
As she entered her early 20's, she graduated from the university, started a career and bought her own home. She began dating Ross who she first met at the university. She liked Ross and her family liked him as well. After dating for two years, she felt that she had found "the one", but the relationship ended as they were not on the same page about the future. The break-up was difficult, but Louisa did not give up on her dream. Also, society and her relatives put pressure on her to get married while she was still young. At 23 and without a potential mate, she amended her life plan to find her future husband by age 25 and be married by 27.
I really enjoyed reading this memoir. Louisa's hopes and fears are understandable. Young women have difficult decisions to make regarding careers and family and how to balance it all. I think that many people can relate to her story.
After being accepted to a university in Sydney, she created a life plan for herself that included finding a potential husband by age 23, and getting married at 26. She had questions about knowing who Mr. Right would be. How could she tell if he was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with? She is very honest and writes about having anxiety and fear that she might not meet her soulmate and have to settle for someone else.
As she entered her early 20's, she graduated from the university, started a career and bought her own home. She began dating Ross who she first met at the university. She liked Ross and her family liked him as well. After dating for two years, she felt that she had found "the one", but the relationship ended as they were not on the same page about the future. The break-up was difficult, but Louisa did not give up on her dream. Also, society and her relatives put pressure on her to get married while she was still young. At 23 and without a potential mate, she amended her life plan to find her future husband by age 25 and be married by 27.
I really enjoyed reading this memoir. Louisa's hopes and fears are understandable. Young women have difficult decisions to make regarding careers and family and how to balance it all. I think that many people can relate to her story.
February 17, 2021
This is great book I highly recommend
After seeing the title Single, Again, and Again, and Again: What to do when life doesn’t go as planned, by Louisa Pateman, I was completely unsure as to what type of book it was. Was I looking at a self help book on how to point out all my “flaws" and fix them to make me more “attractive” to a mate? Or was this about embracing singleness and learning to love yourself regardless of your martial status? I was pleasantly surprised that it was something unlike anything I have read before and a quick scan of the book I realized although it was going more of the latter, Pateman had blended her memoir with a beautiful study of societal pressures as presented over the years.
After I read it, I realized Pateman was one of the most likeable, articulate, witty, astute and real writers out there who write on relationships. The book is a quick read and presented as a memoir of how goals and life ambitions change when things don’t go to plan. She immediately explains all the societal pressures placed on girls and women of all ages to become a wife and a mom, and in those roles you find your value and worth. She wanted/wants a husband and kids, but it was something that was elusive to her. And you see how her goals and ambitions change as time passes and she continually finds herself not where she had planned
I loved how she conveyed that sense of brokenness or “not being enough.” When a woman is succeeding in every other aspect of her life it can seem as though there is a failure of some sort. But as Pateman says, " I am just an ordinary woman who, incidentally and without intending to, built an extraordinary life out of her perceived failures." This is a book for young women and all women alike. I highly recommend!
After seeing the title Single, Again, and Again, and Again: What to do when life doesn’t go as planned, by Louisa Pateman, I was completely unsure as to what type of book it was. Was I looking at a self help book on how to point out all my “flaws" and fix them to make me more “attractive” to a mate? Or was this about embracing singleness and learning to love yourself regardless of your martial status? I was pleasantly surprised that it was something unlike anything I have read before and a quick scan of the book I realized although it was going more of the latter, Pateman had blended her memoir with a beautiful study of societal pressures as presented over the years.
After I read it, I realized Pateman was one of the most likeable, articulate, witty, astute and real writers out there who write on relationships. The book is a quick read and presented as a memoir of how goals and life ambitions change when things don’t go to plan. She immediately explains all the societal pressures placed on girls and women of all ages to become a wife and a mom, and in those roles you find your value and worth. She wanted/wants a husband and kids, but it was something that was elusive to her. And you see how her goals and ambitions change as time passes and she continually finds herself not where she had planned
I loved how she conveyed that sense of brokenness or “not being enough.” When a woman is succeeding in every other aspect of her life it can seem as though there is a failure of some sort. But as Pateman says, " I am just an ordinary woman who, incidentally and without intending to, built an extraordinary life out of her perceived failures." This is a book for young women and all women alike. I highly recommend!
December 13, 2020
This book was recommended to me, and I have to say I am not really a romance novel reader, however this is not what this is. I loved the author’s painfully honest writing style, when I started I thought that this might be a rollercoaster of her romantic life, it was but so much more. As a woman turning 40 next year and without being married and having children I very much identified with her message. I learnt along with her and it made me reflect too on how much what I feel I should do, and be is dictated by other people. I have single friends and will certainly recommend this to them. It is in the end really a tale of girl power, the author learns to go for what she wants and ignores what people think she should. You know what, shock horror she is actually happy. In the same way as the author I am successful in my career, I have a long term partner but I am financially independent, and I really understand where she is coming from. As a teacher it has also made me think about the young women that I teach and to make sure that they don’t feel the pressure that society pushes onto women, find a man, get married, have children, live happily ever after. From a young age we are seduced by fairy tales of Cinderella, Snow White, the Prince saves them and whisks them away to the castle, to live happily ever after. However, what is happily ever after? How can it be achieved? These stories certainly do not offer the answer. So if you want a feel good, truthful and inspiring story of modern western life, this is it. A must read for young women starting out, but also for those who maybe questioning their life choices.
February 24, 2021
Single, Again, and Again, and Again…: What Do You Do When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan? is one woman’s remarkable story of seeking her Mr. Right. In Louisa Pateman’s memoir she opens her heart to readers to her “life plan” that includes, falling in love, marrying, and having children all by a certain age. When the author who is from Australia was in her 20’s and 30’s she endured annoying questions about her love life. I can certainly relate to that. At twenty-two years old, she began to search for a suitable man to fall in love with and marry.
Pateman’s plan looked good on paper, but she dated what turned out to be a group of unsuitable men. Her accounts of her dating life are honest and humorous. One of her funniest stories is about the “towel guy”. What is most fascinating about the author’s life is that she had a career that allowed her to travel all over the world. She delights readers with stories of her travels to Hong Kong, London, Africa, New Zealand, and a host of other places. Many times, she traveled solo and had the time of her life. Still, she yearned for a husband. In her mid-thirties, there finally came a time that she decided to leave behind what society had placed in her mind from childhood and instead courageously searched her heart for a more satisfying life that she could achieve on her own.
This book will enlighten many single women who have hopes of being married. While the author is not suggesting anyone follow in her footsteps, she had a strong desire to share her own personal journey. As a woman who didn’t marry until I was forty-six years old, I found it a very enjoyable read.
Pateman’s plan looked good on paper, but she dated what turned out to be a group of unsuitable men. Her accounts of her dating life are honest and humorous. One of her funniest stories is about the “towel guy”. What is most fascinating about the author’s life is that she had a career that allowed her to travel all over the world. She delights readers with stories of her travels to Hong Kong, London, Africa, New Zealand, and a host of other places. Many times, she traveled solo and had the time of her life. Still, she yearned for a husband. In her mid-thirties, there finally came a time that she decided to leave behind what society had placed in her mind from childhood and instead courageously searched her heart for a more satisfying life that she could achieve on her own.
This book will enlighten many single women who have hopes of being married. While the author is not suggesting anyone follow in her footsteps, she had a strong desire to share her own personal journey. As a woman who didn’t marry until I was forty-six years old, I found it a very enjoyable read.
June 17, 2021
Thank you for a Fantastic Read
This book touched all different aspects of reading. I liked this book from the beginning to the end, especially with the little twist that it had. I can honestly say that I haven't read any of the author's books, however, this book was amazing. I liked the title, simply because of how it repeated itself to let the reader know what type of book they was going to read. This book really highlights the societal pressure that most women are under from a young age, starting with the fairy tales of happy ever after which then sets unrealistic expectations for the rest of their lives. I was impressed with the way the author brung the reader into this story.Author Louisa Pateman bares her soul, and her relatable story of unlucky love in Single, Again, and Again, and Again... From the whimsical memories of early childhood romance to the painful reality of a thirty-something who feels doomed to loneliness, this book will strike a chord in anyone who has had a heartbreak, especially if it hasn't fully healed. I can honestly say that this is a great book to read, and I highly recommend this book to be read by all readers, that love reading different genres of books, because this book was a book that I was unaware of and glad that I decided to read this book, a wonderful choice that I made. A must read! You will definitely learn alot from this book. This book really highlights the societal pressure that most women are under from a young age, starting with the fairy tales of happy ever after which then sets unrealistic expectations for the rest of their lives. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
This book touched all different aspects of reading. I liked this book from the beginning to the end, especially with the little twist that it had. I can honestly say that I haven't read any of the author's books, however, this book was amazing. I liked the title, simply because of how it repeated itself to let the reader know what type of book they was going to read. This book really highlights the societal pressure that most women are under from a young age, starting with the fairy tales of happy ever after which then sets unrealistic expectations for the rest of their lives. I was impressed with the way the author brung the reader into this story.Author Louisa Pateman bares her soul, and her relatable story of unlucky love in Single, Again, and Again, and Again... From the whimsical memories of early childhood romance to the painful reality of a thirty-something who feels doomed to loneliness, this book will strike a chord in anyone who has had a heartbreak, especially if it hasn't fully healed. I can honestly say that this is a great book to read, and I highly recommend this book to be read by all readers, that love reading different genres of books, because this book was a book that I was unaware of and glad that I decided to read this book, a wonderful choice that I made. A must read! You will definitely learn alot from this book. This book really highlights the societal pressure that most women are under from a young age, starting with the fairy tales of happy ever after which then sets unrealistic expectations for the rest of their lives. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
December 17, 2023
String of Bad Luck Ends Up Well
Though I've listened to the whole thing over the course of a few days, I'm not quite sure what I think of this book. The author is brave, to a certain extent, to share the ups and downs first of her romantic life as an adult and then her life as a single mother by choice. I could certainly identify with parts of her story, but other parts left me scratching my head at her choices. She certainly has seemed to have a run of bad luck with men, though some of it certainly is of her doing. The insights she has gleaned looking back over her dating life could probably be helpful to some younger women who may already be on a path similar to what she was on. You certainly may not agree with some of her choices from a moral standpoint; I'll admit it rankled me to see her blithely get involved with a married man knowingly. I applaud her choice to take charge of her destiny and become a parent without a partner by choice. The joy she has experienced as a mother to a son is evident, and from her descriptions of their life, it's clear he's had a full one, even if he hasn't had a dad in the picture. The author herself is the narrator, which I always like, especially in nonfiction. Only she could give voice properly to her story. If you enjoy nonfiction in which the author shares a sliver of their life story, including lessons learned with a few takeaways, you may enjoy this audiobook.
I received a promo code for this audiobook, but that did not affect my review.
Though I've listened to the whole thing over the course of a few days, I'm not quite sure what I think of this book. The author is brave, to a certain extent, to share the ups and downs first of her romantic life as an adult and then her life as a single mother by choice. I could certainly identify with parts of her story, but other parts left me scratching my head at her choices. She certainly has seemed to have a run of bad luck with men, though some of it certainly is of her doing. The insights she has gleaned looking back over her dating life could probably be helpful to some younger women who may already be on a path similar to what she was on. You certainly may not agree with some of her choices from a moral standpoint; I'll admit it rankled me to see her blithely get involved with a married man knowingly. I applaud her choice to take charge of her destiny and become a parent without a partner by choice. The joy she has experienced as a mother to a son is evident, and from her descriptions of their life, it's clear he's had a full one, even if he hasn't had a dad in the picture. The author herself is the narrator, which I always like, especially in nonfiction. Only she could give voice properly to her story. If you enjoy nonfiction in which the author shares a sliver of their life story, including lessons learned with a few takeaways, you may enjoy this audiobook.
I received a promo code for this audiobook, but that did not affect my review.
September 13, 2021
“Single, Again, and Again, and Again…” is a great story about the trials and tribulations of growing up in a society that expects everyone to fit in the slots that are labeled “one size fits all”. I remember the days of college, and the pressure I put myself under to find “Mr. Right”. I have to agree with Louisa Pateman’s thoughts that it is very difficult to find your soulmate, all the stars have to line up perfectly. While I was fortunate and found my Mr Right, I have to think about my children and the pressure that is out there still today to find a significant other, settle down, have kids and live happily ever after. After reading this, I realize that I have been expecting and hoping to hear that my kids have finally found the one. However much I want that for them, I understand from reading about Louisa that I have to be happy for them no matter where they are in or out of a relationship. This is a great story about love and loss, about making it without following the normal path. It is reminding us that even if we are not successful in the standards society sets, we could still be successful by reaching the goals we set for ourselves. Please read this book to see that it is ok to live your life to your own beat. Please read this book to help you understand that the only thing your friends and children need is your support. I definitely recommend “Single, Again, and Again, and Again…”.
August 24, 2020
Amazingly relatable!
This book, Single Again, and Again, and Again by Louisa Pateman is an interesting story of a young woman from Australia trying to find a soulmate to spend the rest of her life with. Pateman tells a tale of trial and error in dating and adventure all along the way. I really love this story and I was happy to tag along while reading through her adventures. I think part of why I liked the story so much is because her journey is so very relatable. I feel that although it may not seem like it, many young women her age go through this very struggle. In a world where everywhere you look there are couples and families and I know first hand that it's hard to be single. I couldn't help but smile at many of her many failed attempts at trying to find love. I love how while still trying to find her soulmate she still continued to live her life. I also admire her wanting to travel and I enjoyed reading of her journey across the world. One aspect of this book that I am particularly fond of is that although some of the names and places have been changed it is based on true events of her life, and I find it comforting to know that I'm not the only one that struggles in this aspect of life. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to journey along with the struggle of a single woman! Five stars from me!
This book, Single Again, and Again, and Again by Louisa Pateman is an interesting story of a young woman from Australia trying to find a soulmate to spend the rest of her life with. Pateman tells a tale of trial and error in dating and adventure all along the way. I really love this story and I was happy to tag along while reading through her adventures. I think part of why I liked the story so much is because her journey is so very relatable. I feel that although it may not seem like it, many young women her age go through this very struggle. In a world where everywhere you look there are couples and families and I know first hand that it's hard to be single. I couldn't help but smile at many of her many failed attempts at trying to find love. I love how while still trying to find her soulmate she still continued to live her life. I also admire her wanting to travel and I enjoyed reading of her journey across the world. One aspect of this book that I am particularly fond of is that although some of the names and places have been changed it is based on true events of her life, and I find it comforting to know that I'm not the only one that struggles in this aspect of life. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to journey along with the struggle of a single woman! Five stars from me!
January 14, 2021
Well. What a book. I really enjoyed this memoir & had some philosophical takeaways that choose your own path over what society and family believes is the “right” path to take. I rated this book 3 out of 5 stars because I really enjoyed the story and meaning of the book. Going through the authors relationships & different experiences were so visually detailed & I could almost imagine watching each one from the inside out. Some made me giggle with her, some made me cringe with her (towel guy)...
I discovered some of the language choice and storytelling tell was a bit underwhelming in my opinion. I understand the story is the authors life is being told in her perspective and truly found some parts very detailed in description, and others were very much so the opposite, it was tough to get through a few chapters. Explaining the basics of life and discussing the scene in play, really didn’t spike my interest. Overall, I really enjoyed the story and love the context of taking the path less traveled . I like to hear how far the author has grown from a naive young women thinking her life purpose is to get married & bear children. To grow into realizing that writing this book can inspire other women they can do anything they want and it is not in fact someone else’s timing, choice, and want to decide whether your life goes to plan or not. Make your own plans. Love it.
I discovered some of the language choice and storytelling tell was a bit underwhelming in my opinion. I understand the story is the authors life is being told in her perspective and truly found some parts very detailed in description, and others were very much so the opposite, it was tough to get through a few chapters. Explaining the basics of life and discussing the scene in play, really didn’t spike my interest. Overall, I really enjoyed the story and love the context of taking the path less traveled . I like to hear how far the author has grown from a naive young women thinking her life purpose is to get married & bear children. To grow into realizing that writing this book can inspire other women they can do anything they want and it is not in fact someone else’s timing, choice, and want to decide whether your life goes to plan or not. Make your own plans. Love it.
February 20, 2021
Single again is a hit
Single, Again, and Again, and Again...:what do you do when life doesn’t go to plan written by Louisa Pateman is a delightful book that not only inspires it is full of useful information for those who have been through heart break or going through heart break. This book was witty and full of so much! I had to finish this book once I started! In this book the author not only shared her dating history, her ups and her downs her “do and don’t list” but her numerous life plans. I was one of the women who also had a “plan” and it didn’t work on the time line I thought it would. I was glad that I was not the only one who had plan after plan that seemed to fall through but the author Louisa Patemen is ignanemus with the way she writes and completely draws in the audience with each chapter. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes to read and especially anyone who has had or is currently going through a heartbreak or drought of one. This is a book once you open you can not put down until you have read the last sentence.This author has a flare and fluidity for writing and a back for sharing her life HIGHLY RECOMMENDED GOD BLESS AND JESUS LOVES YOU
Single, Again, and Again, and Again...:what do you do when life doesn’t go to plan written by Louisa Pateman is a delightful book that not only inspires it is full of useful information for those who have been through heart break or going through heart break. This book was witty and full of so much! I had to finish this book once I started! In this book the author not only shared her dating history, her ups and her downs her “do and don’t list” but her numerous life plans. I was one of the women who also had a “plan” and it didn’t work on the time line I thought it would. I was glad that I was not the only one who had plan after plan that seemed to fall through but the author Louisa Patemen is ignanemus with the way she writes and completely draws in the audience with each chapter. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes to read and especially anyone who has had or is currently going through a heartbreak or drought of one. This is a book once you open you can not put down until you have read the last sentence.This author has a flare and fluidity for writing and a back for sharing her life HIGHLY RECOMMENDED GOD BLESS AND JESUS LOVES YOU
January 17, 2023
This is not a book I would have ever picked up of my own accord… but a friend knows the author and recommended it me (more to support the friend than thinking I would enjoy the book). I started it a year or two ago, and then life has been busy and I’ve been doing a lot of driving and audiobooks. But! A long train trip yesterday gave me time to read it again - so if you have 3-4 hours to spare, you can very comfortably read this book in that time. An easy read. A nice tale of an Aussie woman’s adventures and choices. Realistically, it’s a 3 star read for me, but I think it’s a 4 star for people who enjoy the genre and particularly for women in their 30s who haven’t managed to follow the life plan they thought they were going to nail.
August 26, 2021
Didn’t expect this to be anything more than one woman’s experience with dating & looking for Mr Right. Boy was I ever wrong! This book is phenomenal in that it goes outside the box and encourages different paths. I was so impressed with the courage it took for this woman to not follow society’s rules. I too took a different path when I decided not to have children for many different reasons. The pressure from family & peers was enormous but I knew myself well enough to stick to my decision as it was best for me. I have no regrets at age 65. However I DID find Mr Right & we had 30 incredible years together till he died suddenly. I’d do it all again in heartbeat
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 17, 2020
A great read from a strong, brave and courageous woman!
This story felt so familiar, as it was my reality into my mid-thirties too! It's nice to see someone willing to talk about their journey so honestly. Many women suffer on their own, thinking no-one else is going through this. This book will help those women to see they aren't alone, and that they have choices. Such a strong, brave woman. A modern feminist who is showing us that we don't need a man to be complete. Thank you Louisa for sharing your story with us!
This story felt so familiar, as it was my reality into my mid-thirties too! It's nice to see someone willing to talk about their journey so honestly. Many women suffer on their own, thinking no-one else is going through this. This book will help those women to see they aren't alone, and that they have choices. Such a strong, brave woman. A modern feminist who is showing us that we don't need a man to be complete. Thank you Louisa for sharing your story with us!
May 19, 2021
Single still!
Interesting book that seems to detail my life from an Australian point of view. Although, for me, it brought up some sad memories, it was very insightful. Congrats to the author! Highly recommend it to all women both married and single. Easy read.
Interesting book that seems to detail my life from an Australian point of view. Although, for me, it brought up some sad memories, it was very insightful. Congrats to the author! Highly recommend it to all women both married and single. Easy read.
December 22, 2020
Incredibly inspiring. A must read for every woman
October 8, 2020
It is ok to be single
" I am just an ordinary woman who, incidentally and without intending to, built an extraordinary life out of her perceived failures."
Louis Pateman tackles the woman and the single life in her memoir Single, Again, and Again. Even though I have been married for over seventeen years, I found her insight on how women and men view relationships, marriage and children holding a lot of truth. Her even showing that my own preconceived notions about certain women being single over thirty-five without children might have been completely wrong. I could honestly relate to her childhood story, and how little girls whether unintentional or not are taught to look for our prince charmings before we even know what that truly means. I wish this book had been around prior to my own teenage years. This is one of those books that you really should read whether you are single at fifteen or thirty five. Young women and old alike can find themselves hopeful with their own lives. I think her perspective of living your own life regardless of how this looks to the world is a piece of inspiration we all need.Her making the decision to do what is best for her own life regardless of the notions, she had for herself because of the way she was raised. Shows us all whether men or women that taking our own path is the one we choose to take for ourselves. It is true inspiration. I will honestly say that even though it was an easy read, entertaining, I did find it a little wordy in places and felt she could have shortened the stories and still got the point across. I did enjoy it.
" I am just an ordinary woman who, incidentally and without intending to, built an extraordinary life out of her perceived failures."
Louis Pateman tackles the woman and the single life in her memoir Single, Again, and Again. Even though I have been married for over seventeen years, I found her insight on how women and men view relationships, marriage and children holding a lot of truth. Her even showing that my own preconceived notions about certain women being single over thirty-five without children might have been completely wrong. I could honestly relate to her childhood story, and how little girls whether unintentional or not are taught to look for our prince charmings before we even know what that truly means. I wish this book had been around prior to my own teenage years. This is one of those books that you really should read whether you are single at fifteen or thirty five. Young women and old alike can find themselves hopeful with their own lives. I think her perspective of living your own life regardless of how this looks to the world is a piece of inspiration we all need.Her making the decision to do what is best for her own life regardless of the notions, she had for herself because of the way she was raised. Shows us all whether men or women that taking our own path is the one we choose to take for ourselves. It is true inspiration. I will honestly say that even though it was an easy read, entertaining, I did find it a little wordy in places and felt she could have shortened the stories and still got the point across. I did enjoy it.
October 7, 2020
‘Single, Again, and Again, and Again …: What Do You Do When Life Doesn't Go to Plan?’ by Louisa Pateman is a delightful, reflective, and reassuring memoir of a woman who acknowledges she was conditioned from an early age to buy into what society expected of girls and young women – follow a particular path to find “happiness.” From a young age, she had expectations about how her life would look, but that isn’t how things turned out for her. I could relate to so much in this book! The author writes in a conversational and down-to-earth manner. I couldn’t put this book down.
The author begins with an analysis of the fairy tales young girls are fed from a very young age and teenage dreams of the perfect boyfriend sweeping them off their feet. Girls and young women are programmed in our society and feel as if something is “wrong” with them if they do not attract the perfect mate. The path that is expected is very clear: finish school, meet a man, get engaged, get married, have children – and live happily ever after. Marrying young and growing old together -always madly in love and supportive of one another – might not be a realistic scenario for many young women. Pateman offers her own experiences as an example and points out many relevant tidbits of advice. One example – it is better to be single than in an abusive relationship.
Finding the “one,” her soul mate that she would live “happily ever after” with, did not come to pass as she expected. She candidly discusses dating, her short- and long-term relationships, and the sadness, disappointment, and anticipation roller coaster she endured. Fortunately, the author does not come off as bitter, nor did she trash the men she dated. I could also relate to her disappointment and her string of failed relationships, and at times I laughed aloud! I totally agree with her sentiment that we determine our own worth by what we will or will not put up with.
Young women would be well-served to read this fast-paced and easy-to-read book. Life does not always go as we initially planned, and Pateman had the courage to tell her story (with names and specific details changed). Her book is optimistic and argues there are a number of ways to finding meaning in life and discovering happiness – with or without a man.
The author begins with an analysis of the fairy tales young girls are fed from a very young age and teenage dreams of the perfect boyfriend sweeping them off their feet. Girls and young women are programmed in our society and feel as if something is “wrong” with them if they do not attract the perfect mate. The path that is expected is very clear: finish school, meet a man, get engaged, get married, have children – and live happily ever after. Marrying young and growing old together -always madly in love and supportive of one another – might not be a realistic scenario for many young women. Pateman offers her own experiences as an example and points out many relevant tidbits of advice. One example – it is better to be single than in an abusive relationship.
Finding the “one,” her soul mate that she would live “happily ever after” with, did not come to pass as she expected. She candidly discusses dating, her short- and long-term relationships, and the sadness, disappointment, and anticipation roller coaster she endured. Fortunately, the author does not come off as bitter, nor did she trash the men she dated. I could also relate to her disappointment and her string of failed relationships, and at times I laughed aloud! I totally agree with her sentiment that we determine our own worth by what we will or will not put up with.
Young women would be well-served to read this fast-paced and easy-to-read book. Life does not always go as we initially planned, and Pateman had the courage to tell her story (with names and specific details changed). Her book is optimistic and argues there are a number of ways to finding meaning in life and discovering happiness – with or without a man.
August 26, 2020
“Single, Again, and Again, and Again... : What do you do when life doesn’t go to plan?” is a book written by Louisa Pateman, Australian author. It is a short book that has less than two hundred pages and it is divided into twenty nine chapters.
The questions of the introduction have certainly caught my attention, especially one: “Do you ever feel like you’ll never find the one?” and also the way people who surround her acted towards this.
This book is a memoir of the author, told in the first person. In this, she tells how she managed to build an extraordinary life out of her failures and how she was constantly reminded by her family and friends that she, being thirty six years old, was running out of time. As she was convinced that she will never find a good man, because all were already taken, and after feeling bad due to all her bad experiences, she channeled all her efforts to create extraordinary experiences regarding her priorities.
Being a woman in my thirties, I know that people who surround us are always asking about marriage, kids, and more, as if life is just a list of things that one has to tick. And I completely agree with the author that what we always hear is “you are running out of time”. Reading about her experience was really inspiring. Although she is not an expert, as she said in the book, telling her own experience is enough proof that one can focus on what believes is a personal priority.
The book is very well written and in a simple way, which makes it a fast read to enjoy and finish in a couple of days. She certainly opened herself and was completely honest when writing this; the narrative shows that she is really sincere.
This book should be read by young adults and maybe teens in order to change their mind and know that what society wants from you is not what matters, but what you want does. Most of the times women end up in a bad relationship because they are pressured with this lack of time that the author mentions. The message she gives is that listening to what you want is what matters.
I would certainly recommend reading this honest memoir of a woman who could change perspective and find what makes her happy.
The questions of the introduction have certainly caught my attention, especially one: “Do you ever feel like you’ll never find the one?” and also the way people who surround her acted towards this.
This book is a memoir of the author, told in the first person. In this, she tells how she managed to build an extraordinary life out of her failures and how she was constantly reminded by her family and friends that she, being thirty six years old, was running out of time. As she was convinced that she will never find a good man, because all were already taken, and after feeling bad due to all her bad experiences, she channeled all her efforts to create extraordinary experiences regarding her priorities.
Being a woman in my thirties, I know that people who surround us are always asking about marriage, kids, and more, as if life is just a list of things that one has to tick. And I completely agree with the author that what we always hear is “you are running out of time”. Reading about her experience was really inspiring. Although she is not an expert, as she said in the book, telling her own experience is enough proof that one can focus on what believes is a personal priority.
The book is very well written and in a simple way, which makes it a fast read to enjoy and finish in a couple of days. She certainly opened herself and was completely honest when writing this; the narrative shows that she is really sincere.
This book should be read by young adults and maybe teens in order to change their mind and know that what society wants from you is not what matters, but what you want does. Most of the times women end up in a bad relationship because they are pressured with this lack of time that the author mentions. The message she gives is that listening to what you want is what matters.
I would certainly recommend reading this honest memoir of a woman who could change perspective and find what makes her happy.
October 16, 2020
I get it. It's a memoir. I understand that she felt the need to tell other women who were in her situation that it is possible to be happy. But I also want to acknowledge the big elephant in the room, she still wanted a man.
I feel as if this was something that I was absolutely disturbed by given the title. The book is well written, it is great at explaining everything for someone who might be facing this in life. Especially when they're trying to look for goals to reach, or if there are people pushing particular things on you...and you don't want to accept those things in their way. The author felt as if she was making all of the right choices and doing all of the right things and saying all of the right words and for some reason love just didn't come her way. Instead of actually waiting (because of fear and worry), she decided to take matters into her own hands. Even after she took matters into her own hands, the author still felt compelled to continue doing what happened prior... and she was still unsuccessful with it!
I'm not sure if I learned a lesson here because I believe that she was trying to explain to us that, "Hey, it's all good. Don't worry about it. You can be different and not do the normal." At the same time she should not have asked the question, "What do you do?" as if she will have an answer. Instead, it should be, "What I did in my experience." Again, I understand that it is a memoir, but when you ask a question to someone on the cover…. it's as if you're going to give an answer for it. The author gave an answer, but it was more of an answer of uncertainty. Like, "This is what I did, but it's not exactly how I saw it. And even though I did make my attempt at doing something, it's good and all, but I still want what I want."
It's hard to really see if she found love through one avenue or if she's still trying to look for the love of her life on Lovers Lane. What it does do is give you all the juicy bits and details about her life, so it's not a bad book. It's a really well written book, it's a lovely story...but not a "help me" kind of book.
I feel as if this was something that I was absolutely disturbed by given the title. The book is well written, it is great at explaining everything for someone who might be facing this in life. Especially when they're trying to look for goals to reach, or if there are people pushing particular things on you...and you don't want to accept those things in their way. The author felt as if she was making all of the right choices and doing all of the right things and saying all of the right words and for some reason love just didn't come her way. Instead of actually waiting (because of fear and worry), she decided to take matters into her own hands. Even after she took matters into her own hands, the author still felt compelled to continue doing what happened prior... and she was still unsuccessful with it!
I'm not sure if I learned a lesson here because I believe that she was trying to explain to us that, "Hey, it's all good. Don't worry about it. You can be different and not do the normal." At the same time she should not have asked the question, "What do you do?" as if she will have an answer. Instead, it should be, "What I did in my experience." Again, I understand that it is a memoir, but when you ask a question to someone on the cover…. it's as if you're going to give an answer for it. The author gave an answer, but it was more of an answer of uncertainty. Like, "This is what I did, but it's not exactly how I saw it. And even though I did make my attempt at doing something, it's good and all, but I still want what I want."
It's hard to really see if she found love through one avenue or if she's still trying to look for the love of her life on Lovers Lane. What it does do is give you all the juicy bits and details about her life, so it's not a bad book. It's a really well written book, it's a lovely story...but not a "help me" kind of book.
September 24, 2020
Single, Again, and Again, and Again...
209 pages
Genre: memoir
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
**Thank you to @booktrib for a gifted copy of this book in exchange for an honest review**
SYNOPSIS: Do you feel as if you’ll never find the one? Are you sick of failed relationships? And are you seriously fed up with comments from friends and family hinting that you’re getting old and need to settle down before it’s too late? At 36 years old, that’s how author Louisa Pateman perceived her situation. She was constantly reminded of how her time was running out. This follows her quest to happily ever after. Convinced all the good men were taken, she continually reassessed her aspiration to accomplish her life plan. Feeling defeated after a string of failed relationships and frustrated with her inability to find her soulmate, she reexamines her priorities and played the cards she was dealt. Finding the inner courage, she discovered ways to create extraordinary experiences despite her perceived failures.
REVIEW: What do you do when life doesn’t go to plan? Im now asking myself this question. We follow Louisa and her relationships from her very first crush, to present day. Following her on this extraordinary journey was entertaining. Watching her adjust her life plan according to relationships was intriguing, and hearing about all of her relationships was interesting. I loved how she incorporated her travels into many of the later chapters, and I wish it had been that heavy of a theme throughout. I also wish some of the relationships were expanded on more. Some of the bigger relationships were, but the smaller ones weren’t, and I almost wanted to see where they went wrong as opposed to being told where they went wrong. Overall I loved watching Louisa grow, and develop into who she is today, and was sad that it was over. This was a quick read, and I wanted more. I would absolutely read a second book of her life and experiences now.
209 pages
Genre: memoir
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
**Thank you to @booktrib for a gifted copy of this book in exchange for an honest review**
SYNOPSIS: Do you feel as if you’ll never find the one? Are you sick of failed relationships? And are you seriously fed up with comments from friends and family hinting that you’re getting old and need to settle down before it’s too late? At 36 years old, that’s how author Louisa Pateman perceived her situation. She was constantly reminded of how her time was running out. This follows her quest to happily ever after. Convinced all the good men were taken, she continually reassessed her aspiration to accomplish her life plan. Feeling defeated after a string of failed relationships and frustrated with her inability to find her soulmate, she reexamines her priorities and played the cards she was dealt. Finding the inner courage, she discovered ways to create extraordinary experiences despite her perceived failures.
REVIEW: What do you do when life doesn’t go to plan? Im now asking myself this question. We follow Louisa and her relationships from her very first crush, to present day. Following her on this extraordinary journey was entertaining. Watching her adjust her life plan according to relationships was intriguing, and hearing about all of her relationships was interesting. I loved how she incorporated her travels into many of the later chapters, and I wish it had been that heavy of a theme throughout. I also wish some of the relationships were expanded on more. Some of the bigger relationships were, but the smaller ones weren’t, and I almost wanted to see where they went wrong as opposed to being told where they went wrong. Overall I loved watching Louisa grow, and develop into who she is today, and was sad that it was over. This was a quick read, and I wanted more. I would absolutely read a second book of her life and experiences now.
October 17, 2020
ℚ𝕆𝕋𝔻: You are on a first date and your date pays for your meal but they use a coupon. Would you consider this a red flag? 🚩and why?!!! This is a serious question, I wanna know!! Lol😂
Thank you @booktrib for gifting me this book!
𝙎𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚, 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣...
You guys this book is full of dating adventures! I never really dated anyone other than my husband! We met in college when I was 18 and have been together ever since. So naturally, I have developed a fascination with crazy dating stories because it is an unknown to me!
This is one of the reasons I I really enjoyed this book and I was excited to tag along the author’s journey of trial and error because her journey is so very different than mine.
Other than the different dating stories , the book also gives an insight into what it is like to go through life with the pressure of believing that a husband and children are the end goal.
The author was very honest about how she went through life with this belief. A belief that is
unfortunately instilled in many women at a young age. The idea that Happy Ever After means a husband and children. And that any other achievement beyond that is simply not enough!
In @louisapateman ‘s story, we see a woman who is out there achieving career goals, kicking ass, traveling the world but still doesn’t meet the right person whom she is ready to start a family with. We also witness what it’s like to have the added pressure from friends, family, society, and most of all a ticking biological clock.
It was a very sincere read. It felt like I just met someone who leads a completely different life than mine and in getting to know them they bared their soul to me. I just appreciate the honesty and vulnerability in this book so much and think that whether you relate to it or not you will really appreciate it as well.
🌟🌟🌟🌟/5
#singleagainandagainandagain #Booktrib#BooktribBooks
Thank you @booktrib for gifting me this book!
𝙎𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚, 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣...
You guys this book is full of dating adventures! I never really dated anyone other than my husband! We met in college when I was 18 and have been together ever since. So naturally, I have developed a fascination with crazy dating stories because it is an unknown to me!
This is one of the reasons I I really enjoyed this book and I was excited to tag along the author’s journey of trial and error because her journey is so very different than mine.
Other than the different dating stories , the book also gives an insight into what it is like to go through life with the pressure of believing that a husband and children are the end goal.
The author was very honest about how she went through life with this belief. A belief that is
unfortunately instilled in many women at a young age. The idea that Happy Ever After means a husband and children. And that any other achievement beyond that is simply not enough!
In @louisapateman ‘s story, we see a woman who is out there achieving career goals, kicking ass, traveling the world but still doesn’t meet the right person whom she is ready to start a family with. We also witness what it’s like to have the added pressure from friends, family, society, and most of all a ticking biological clock.
It was a very sincere read. It felt like I just met someone who leads a completely different life than mine and in getting to know them they bared their soul to me. I just appreciate the honesty and vulnerability in this book so much and think that whether you relate to it or not you will really appreciate it as well.
🌟🌟🌟🌟/5
#singleagainandagainandagain #Booktrib#BooktribBooks
August 27, 2020
Louisa Pateman’s “Single, Again, and Again, and Again...What Do You Do When Life Doesn’t Go to Plan” is an intimate memoir highlighting one woman’s unconventional journey to her happily ever after. She utilizes a witty yet honest voice in sharing her mishaps in the dating world, as well as the poignant despair and “baptism by fire” character building sparked by these experiences. Even more, she testifies the value in having the courage to follow one’s path, even if it is a path traveled alone.
Pateman is a masterful and entertaining storyteller, which ultimately makes this read difficult to put down. I personally devoured it in the course of a day. She paints a clear yet tragically humorous portrait of all the men with whom she has shared relationships, as well as the influential women with whom she has shared friendships in her adult life. She does an excellent job at capturing the lessons each of the men taught her about not only herself as a person, but also what a relationship should and should not look like.
Her most intimate testimony, however, is her unconventional path toward motherhood. In sharing this personal story about becoming an intentional single mother, she highlights a dilemma that many successful 30-something career women face – the difficulty in finding a suitable partner amid today’s complicated dating landscape, coupled with the desire to start a family. The external pressures she feels from well-meaning family and friends who have followed the “cookie cutter” path are absolutely palpable. Ultimately, Pateman emerges as the victor when she begins to make her own choices – regardless of traditional conventions – and embrace her unique happily ever after. Her journey toward ultimate, unconditional self-love is a must-read for any woman who is experiencing similar sentiments and needs the courage to follow her own path.
Pateman is a masterful and entertaining storyteller, which ultimately makes this read difficult to put down. I personally devoured it in the course of a day. She paints a clear yet tragically humorous portrait of all the men with whom she has shared relationships, as well as the influential women with whom she has shared friendships in her adult life. She does an excellent job at capturing the lessons each of the men taught her about not only herself as a person, but also what a relationship should and should not look like.
Her most intimate testimony, however, is her unconventional path toward motherhood. In sharing this personal story about becoming an intentional single mother, she highlights a dilemma that many successful 30-something career women face – the difficulty in finding a suitable partner amid today’s complicated dating landscape, coupled with the desire to start a family. The external pressures she feels from well-meaning family and friends who have followed the “cookie cutter” path are absolutely palpable. Ultimately, Pateman emerges as the victor when she begins to make her own choices – regardless of traditional conventions – and embrace her unique happily ever after. Her journey toward ultimate, unconditional self-love is a must-read for any woman who is experiencing similar sentiments and needs the courage to follow her own path.
August 31, 2020
Single, Again, and Again, and Again is a memoir by Louisa Pateman. Pateman changed the names to protect people’s identities, but it follows her and those who have the most significant and insignificant relationships in her life. She tells the tale of following the perfect life plan that her familial and societal expectations have ingrained into her. She spent much of her life chasing the dream of getting married young and having children. With the ideas of fairytales and a soulmate in her head, she went from relationship to relationship, seeking these goals only to be disappointed until the end.
At first, I was not sure what to make of this book. I did not relate to Pateman’s struggle of finding “the one” and starting a family, so it was not something that resonated with me. However, partway through the book, I realized that this is something that many young women could relate. They have this life plan, but then they do not find someone who they click with and then further struggle with the idea of failure and self-blame. I did, however, relate to the idea of not finding someone where it would work out, but not as an end goal that I would have to meet. Reading about the complications and the internal monologue of failure and self-blame opened my eyes to what some women can struggle with, even today.
What I think is good about this book is that even those who are not women and do not struggle with the idea of starting a family before a specific age could relate to this. Pateman details her relationships, and how many of them did not work out. We get to see her life journey as well and how she has changed to grow into accepting herself and realizing that sometimes plans do not work out and that we do not have to have a significant other to be happy. I think this book could help anyone of any age learn that lesson.
At first, I was not sure what to make of this book. I did not relate to Pateman’s struggle of finding “the one” and starting a family, so it was not something that resonated with me. However, partway through the book, I realized that this is something that many young women could relate. They have this life plan, but then they do not find someone who they click with and then further struggle with the idea of failure and self-blame. I did, however, relate to the idea of not finding someone where it would work out, but not as an end goal that I would have to meet. Reading about the complications and the internal monologue of failure and self-blame opened my eyes to what some women can struggle with, even today.
What I think is good about this book is that even those who are not women and do not struggle with the idea of starting a family before a specific age could relate to this. Pateman details her relationships, and how many of them did not work out. We get to see her life journey as well and how she has changed to grow into accepting herself and realizing that sometimes plans do not work out and that we do not have to have a significant other to be happy. I think this book could help anyone of any age learn that lesson.
September 2, 2020
Louisa Pateman uses her real life stories to show how messed up society can be when it comes to settling down. The author writes about her dating life, her experiences with men, her relationship with friends and family, and what it feels like being that a thirty plus woman without a family of her own. Reading through the book makes one view marriage in a different light. Marriage is regarded as an achievement and this goal girls needs to have. Louisa Pateman helps the reader, and especially young readers understand that while being married is good, it is no achievement. The pressure gets to be too much for young girls and makes them give in to some marriage they do not enjoy.
The author is blunt with the truth. At no point does Louisa Pateman sugarcoat her message. Her bluntness is needed especially for people who are uncertain about marriage. There is nothing wrong with being single, the author says. The conditioning about marriage that young girls have from a young is what forces people into bad marriages. Often times, girls are made to think that here is something wrong with them if they reach a certain age with no man in their life. I am glad that the author reassures girls time and again that one does not have to be married to happy. Contentment comes from within.
Falling in love should come naturally. ‘Single, Again, and Again, and Again’ is an amazing book that is both candid and inspirational. The author‘s words are powerful and impactful to young people who may want to bow down to societal pressures. I am glad that in the end the author chose what made her happy. There are tons of lessons in the book. The biggest takeaway I got from Louisa Pateman’s text is that this life has no manual. There is no set formula to living the dream life. Everyone’s experience is different and important to them.
The author is blunt with the truth. At no point does Louisa Pateman sugarcoat her message. Her bluntness is needed especially for people who are uncertain about marriage. There is nothing wrong with being single, the author says. The conditioning about marriage that young girls have from a young is what forces people into bad marriages. Often times, girls are made to think that here is something wrong with them if they reach a certain age with no man in their life. I am glad that the author reassures girls time and again that one does not have to be married to happy. Contentment comes from within.
Falling in love should come naturally. ‘Single, Again, and Again, and Again’ is an amazing book that is both candid and inspirational. The author‘s words are powerful and impactful to young people who may want to bow down to societal pressures. I am glad that in the end the author chose what made her happy. There are tons of lessons in the book. The biggest takeaway I got from Louisa Pateman’s text is that this life has no manual. There is no set formula to living the dream life. Everyone’s experience is different and important to them.
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