Goose Chase

by Patrice Kindl

It starts when Alexandria, a poor, plain goose girl, offers her own bread and water to a hungry old woman — who just happens to be a witch in disguise. Poof! Alexandria is suddenly heartstoppingly beautiful. Her hair rains down gold dust, and the tears she sheds turn to diamonds. Soon a prince and a king are fighting for her hand, and they've locked her in a tower to keep her "safe." How Alexandria wishes she was a goose girl again! Clearly the only thing to do is escape — which is when her problems really begin!

Patrice Kindl's inimitable voice and craft make this take on the classic fairy tale extraordinary-and extraordinarily hilarious.

"A delightful, witty fairy-tale spoof.. . . Kindl's humor, the strong characterizations, and vibrant action give the story wings." (Booklist, starred review)

Genres: Fantasy, Young Adult, Fairy Tales, Retellings, Romance, Fiction, Middle Grade

224 pages, Paperback

First published March 26, 2001

About the author

Childhood:
I was born in Alplaus New York in 1951, the youngest of four daughters. My father is a mechanical engineer, my mother a housewife. My family is very nice – I like them all a lot. As a child I loved animals and read obsessively.
We had (still have) a family cottage on Lake George. The people who live next door are life-long friends. On summer weekdays during my childhood there were ten females in the two houses, no males. As a result of this background I feel that I understand girls better than boys, which is why I write primarily for girls.
Education and other jobs:
After high school I went to Webster College in St. Louis, Missouri. Oddly enough, given the location, it was a well-thought-of theater school. I attended for a year and a half and then (this was the 60’s, early 70’s) dropped out and decamped for New York City and a real drama school (not a liberal arts college like Webster). I appeared in a few television commercials, waitressed, auditioned and did a little modeling.
After three or four years of this sort of thing I realized I was going nowhere fast. I came back upstate and worked, at first full-time and then, after I married and my son was born, part-time, as a secretary at a consulting engineering firm called Encotech. As a result, I am an excellent touch typist today, which is handy for a writer.
I only began writing seriously when I was in my late thirties and was first published in my early forties. While I worked on OWL IN LOVE (my first book) I became involved in a program called Helping Hands, in which I raised two monkeys to be aides to quadriplegics. You can check it out at www.helpinghandsmonkeys.org. You can see a photograph of Kandy on this page and Susi on the FAQ page.
Family:
My husband Paul is president of Encotech (that’s where I met him). My son Alex is 25. He and his art rock band Bible Study (no religious connotation) live with us part-time. They rehearse directly over my office, so it is lucky that I think they are great musicians (Click here to listen to one of their songs). The vocalist is one of America’s few female Master Falconers. When the band is in residence we also have several hawks or falcons.

Reviews

[Anne Osterlund · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alexandria is a goose girl with serious issues. Like being locked in a tower by the King and the Prince who think that is the way to win her hand in marriage. And then there’s the old hag, who gave Alexandria diamond tears, gold dust dandruff, and looks as beautiful as the dawn. Which, of course, have contributed to Alexandria’s current “locked-in-a-tower” status.

Fortunately our fair heroine has twelve geese. Geese with the ability to poach mattresses off of clotheslines and turn them into the first flying Alexandria-get-away vehicle.

Unfortunately, Alexandria still has issues. Like the fact that one of her “suitors” is also a murderous plotter intent upon marrying her in order to fund his own attempts to usurp the kindom.

Goose Chase is a tongue-in-cheek fractured fairy tale full of original humor, a few powerful lessons, and one great surprise. I enjoyed Alexandria’s scathing opinions of traditional fairy-tale ideals. And I enjoyed even more seeing her dawning realization that perhaps her own judgment might also be a wee bit flawed.

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reviewed by Safia Abdul for TeensReadToo.com

Many would think Alexandria Aurora Fortunato to be blessed. She is not only extraordinarily beautiful, but gold pours from her hair and diamonds fall in place of her tears. However, truthfully, she has been cursed with these gifts ever since an old hag showed up at Alexandria's humble cottage and begged for a bite to eat. As a reward for Alexandria's kindness, a spell was cast--and Alexandria's life changed forever.

No longer a simple goose girl, Alexandria is kept locked in a tower where she is forced to sew every last stitch on her gold wedding gown. When the last stitch is finished, she will be forced to marry either King Claudio the Cruel or the dim-witted Prince Edmund from the neighboring country. Both want her only for her wealth, and Alexandria knows she must find a chance to escape. Luck is on the way, and she manages to run away with the help of her flock of enchanted geese. Now her real adventures are set to begin!

Along the way, she and her goose friends have magical adventures involving hungry ogresses, a bumbling prince, dark dungeons, and a special set of royal jewels. Add in a sprinkling of romance and you get a good fantasy novel with a fairytale spin that every girl can enjoy! The character, Alexandria, is strong, witty, brave, and a perfect heroine for this awesome novel. An exciting and twisting plot will keep readers entertained for hours, but will there be a happy ending? Read the book to find out more!

[The Captain · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ahoy there me mateys!  I found out about this author when I read her book keeping the castle: a tale of romance, riches, and real estate.  It was a silly and wonderful take on pride and prejudice and had a beautiful cover.  I wanted the second book in the series and was checking at a local library to get it.  They didn't have that but they did have this tale which is a spoof mixing many fairy tales.

The story follows Alexandria who used to be an ordinary goose girl when she fed a crone a piece of bread and was granted gifts.   The problem is that these "gifts" including beauty, her tears turning into diamonds, and gold dust falling from her hair whenever she combs it, have led to her being locked in a tower and being fought over by the rulers of two kingdoms.  Alexandria longs to be regular goose girl again and is determined to escape from  her tower and be in control of her own destiny.

I thought this was a quick, silly, light, and fun read.  Some of the fairy tales I recognized were the goose girl, Rapunzel, Cinderella, wild swans, and diamonds and toads.  This is both an ode to fairy tales and a commentary on them at the same time.  It's nothing ground-breaking but it was a very enjoyable tale that I be glad I read.  Arrr!

[Intisar Khanani · Rating 4 out of 5]

A whimsical, humorous mash-up of various fairytales - I literally laughed out loud a few times. The characters are lovely, the main character is wonderfully ... impatient and grumpy but also kind and thoughtful. And the love interest, oh my word, it's adorable. If you're looking for something light and fun, this is it.

[Merie Shen · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a fun romp through fairytale-land!

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is what happens when one reads an ok book right after an amazing book
Goose Chase is the story of a goose girl who has been given the gifts of being beautiful, Her hair when combed yielded gold dust, and when she cried her tears became diamonds. She is being pursed by a cruel king and a prince who is a few pickles short of a jar.
The story is solid. The blending together of Wild Swans, Rapunzel, Toads and Diamonds, and a few more is done very well.
The Characters are solid Alexandria is interesting and never whiny. She knows her situation and it clever about what she does to save herself and those around her
The Romance is actually pretty good. Its not intense and the guy she likes acutally falls for her and not her wealth. No spoilers here. I also like how both Alexandria and her guy sacrifice themselves for each other no matter the outcome.
Why 4 starts instead of 5? While everything is solid, the ending is hard to follow and I felt like the author could have developed the ending a little more
Recomended for kids and fairtale fans

[Kaylabee · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all, let me just say that I LOVED the heroine of this story. She is so smart, spunky, funny, and brave. I didn't exactly find myself relating to her (were I in her position, I basically would have just flat out died) but I did find myself wishing I could be more like her.
The setting was interesting, but not, like, the best i've ever read. I think what really made this story so good was
A. The main character
and
B. The language.
Sometimes I had to read a sentence a couple of times to finally get it, but it was super funny and cool for everybody to be talking in that old-timey way. I really loved that!
The story itself is pretty good. I mean, it was actually a little bit TOO magic-y for my taste. And not a lot was explained, but I suppose it was meant to be a fairy tale type story, so I guess it's okay.
I would say that if you're looking for a book that's light-hearted, funny, with an admirable lead, then this is the book for you.

[Mary Dover · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finally finished it I got this book in 2008 in 8th grade started reading in 2014 and now I'm done. 'Twas good but not the best, at times it was boring and kinda confusing to me. But the last few chapters were good. I'm so glad her sisters were actually her geese. I also think that Alexandria is very fond on the prince and that is why she doesn't want her youngest sister Elaine to have him.

[Meghann · Rating 3 out of 5]

At first, I found this book enjoyable, gave it four stars, and was saddened there was no sequel. Yet the more I thought about it, the more problems I discovered. Only one character had any depth of character (unfortunately, it was not Alexandrina), the storyline was capture after capture with no direction, and the ending was incomplete. I wanted a sequel not because I was missing the characters or storytelling but because the ending was so lackluster and left a lot of loose ends.

[Toastkat · Rating 1 out of 5]

When I decide that I don't like a book, I have a decision to make. Do I set it down and call it quits? Or do I push through it? This one, I pushed through, if only because it was a quick read. This is what I would call an airplane book - something to read during a long airplane or car ride to pass the time. I assure you, you could start it at take off and finish by landing unless you were taking a short puddle-jumper.

As I was reading, I kept wondering: Who is this book for? With the main character being but fourteen, I could envision its place right before King-Smith on our juvenile fiction section. But reading it, the language is not appropriate for a juvenile reader. Not saying that it's filled with bad words, but the general language aesthetic is what I would consider too advanced. The sprinklings of ('tis) and ('twould) was cute at first, but as it slowly dawned at me that this was going to be the whole book, it lost its charm. There even several instances where even I didn't understand what was being said.

About halfway through the story, it jumps the dragon and goes from trying-to-be-humor to just flat out ridiculousness. When the hair started to come alive and behave on its own, I found myself squinting in the direction of Disney's Tangled. Somewhere at Pixar is a writer or animator who gave this book a glean and said to themselves "You know..."

I think the worst part of this story is that it wants so hard to be a fairy tale. It is trying so hard to be something in the lines of Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Anderson, but when I returned it to its virtual shelf (I had to read the digital version since, you know, quarantine), I was left with yet another unanswered question: What was the point? Fairy tales, especially the "old classics" had a moral of the story, something that the reader was once ignorant of and now knowledgeable about once the tale was done being told. But by the end of this story, the only thing I learned was that... Nope, struggling to think about something I learned. Perhaps not all fairy tales deserve a retelling? I don't know for sure, and after finishing this, I'm ready to forget about it and move on.

[Nannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ah, I haven't re-read this for at least ten years. But, ;___; I weep for another childhood favorite gone from five stars down to 3.5. That's not to say it's not a good book. It's just not . . . as wonderful as I remembered.

Alexandria the "Goose Girl", was a plain, poor girl before meeting an old woman who "blessed" her with looks to rival the dawn, and gifts that made her cry diamonds and shed gold dust whenever she combed her hair. Unfortunately, these blessings make her coveted by both her country's oafish Prince and the rival country's evil King. And land her trapped in a tower until she can choose which one to wed. If she has her way, though, Alexandria plans to escape with her geese and choose neither.

This retelling of the fairy tale (is it classified as a legit "fairy tale"?) "The Goose Girl" is fun and exciting, but lacks a depth I really want in books right now--even those based on fairy tales. But it does have a charm that I can understand I would have loved at a younger age.

The only thing I really disliked was that ugly = villain. Every unsavory character was definitely described being incredibly ugly by our society's standards. Women with body hair, women with """hideously large noses and chins""" (don't get me started on the racism and antisemitism that goes into why our society finds that "ugly"), huge warts, etc. It really made enjoying the novel more difficult.

But anyway, a fairly enjoyable book, especially for a younger audience.

[Camille · Rating 3 out of 5]

Goose Chase was a fun fairy tale adventure, which included elements from Wild Swans, Rapunzel, Toads and Diamonds, Twelve Dancing Princesses , and several more. I enjoyed discovering the various fairy tale archetypes and tropes, which seemlessly came together in one narrative as Alexandria bounced from fairy tale to fairy tale.

The novel's strongest aspect was the exaggerated but charming old-fashion feel of the prose and witty voice of the protagonist, the goose girl Alexandria. She was a strong heroine with a lively personality who was a delight to follow throughout the story. I also loved her beloved geese (although I correctly guessed they were her sisters early on in the story and would have loved to have seen more of them. I was underwhelmed by Prince Edmund and thought his sudden transformation from a bumbling idiot was too sudden and jarring, but I didn’t hate him and thought it was sweet how he and Alexandria fell in love, although I wish their relationship development wasn’t so rushed at the end.

While the story was enjoyable and full of magic, unfortunately I didn’t like many aspects of the plot, particularly the repetitive “let’s escape” trope (especially the ogre one), and I felt many scenes were rushed or left unexplained by the end. I would have preferred more magical or entertaining adventures. Still, despite this, I greatly enjoyed my time spent reading this tongue-in-cheek fractured fairy tale.

[Kiki · Rating 5 out of 5]

been a long time favorite for me. I have read this over and over again, and despite the same plot line, same story, and same ending, it never disappoints, nor gets old. Despite being in my twenties, I still love it like I did when I was a young teen.

It's like a fairytale story that your parents read you before bed, except much more; there's darkness to it. The love triangle is interesting to explore, since it's all from the perspective of a girl who *doesn't love any of them.* Most love triangles go back and forth between the two love interests and you have to pick who you like more, who gets your vote. In this story, you don't have to pick anyone. You can dislike them both; hell, you *should* dislike them both.

The adventures our heroin goes through throughout the book are exciting; they make your heart race and your mind reel. They make you breeze through the book, desperate to see them through. And then, ultimately, you are left with the end of the book, which despite being sad, as you have completed the story, is a beautiful whirlwind, making you want to experience the story all over again.

Again, I know this story is targeted to younger audiences, but I will never stop returning to this book. When I need a fantastic journey and thrilling story, with a happy ending of course, to give me a break between all my dark, dystopia novels and psycho-thriller books, this is my go to.

[Tracy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice enough fantasy that incorporates elements from several fairytales to tell a new story. The heroine is smart and fiesty (although she does ignore those geese when they seem to be warning her to danger, a trait which I found out of character). Like a wild goose chase, this girl is on the run and falling from one predicament into the next in rapid succession. The language of the dialog is funny but often awkward, as it tries to be Olde English and is sprinkled with made-up words. It seemed to end too quickly, and left several loose ends--does she still cry diamonds? Does her hair still shed gold dust? Also, what was up with that Prince? At first he seemed like a dolt, but then suddenly he wasn't. I was waiting for an explanation on that, but never got one.

[Mir · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a cute fairy tale, but lacks the sophistication and emotional depth of her Owl in Love or The Woman in the Wall.

[Simara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I snagged a used copy of this to complete a reading challenge. My local libraries were to no avail, so had hoped that indicated I had stumbled across a gem. The first 50 pages of this were a bit much, with it’s exposition liberally sprinkled with ‘tis, and ‘twas, and $2 Middle English SAT words for good measure. The fairy tale overlaid with sardonic first person narrative is meant to be subversive, but we are well into decades of that flavor of storytelling, so what would have been funny, unfortunately, feels dated now.

However, by Chapter 7, reading stops being a chore and becomes more entertaining, because the sort of wit involved works once you have two begrudging companions on an unwitting adventure. Would probably have loved this at 16, and as a grumpy old thirflortysomethingorother didn’t consider it a waste of a read.

[Barb in Maryland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clever and entertaining. Our Goose Girl is a great heroine. Lots of fun.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly what I needed after reading two Patricia McKillip. Her writing is exquisite and very deep. This was perfectly funny and light enough to read in one sitting. Great twists!

[Kristy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a funny mashup of The Goose Girl, Rapunzel, and The Seven Swans rolled into a tale told hilariously by the snarkiest princess. Really enjoyed this story.

[Yami · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was adorable, it is a fairy tale, it is funny, sarcastic and magical, if you like stories like the princess bride , then you will defiantly enjoy this one.

[Chrisanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kindl always creates a unique voice for her flawed narrating characters and this one is no different. Her main character is a goose girl who, at age 14, has allllll the opinions typical of that age.

Unfortunately blessed to cry diamonds and brush gold out of her hair, she is imprisoned by her would-be suitors, a violent king and a naive prince, until she decides between the two of them. Happily for the reader, Kindl's target audience is NOT the Twilight set and she is rescued by her geese.

What follows is a mesh of several fun fairy tales and, though it's not literature by any means, it's semi-original, fun, and includes some humorous, realistic growth.

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a great little fairy... er... goose tale. The author has woven into this story bits of famous fairy tales such as Goose Girl, Cinderella, Rumpelstiltskin, and Rapunzel. The result is an imaginative, witty and funny tale about a lowly Goose Girl who, upon bestowing a kindness to on old beggar woman, is rewarded with a crazy spell that gives her not only great beauty but has her shedding diamond tears and gold dandruff. Of course, this draws the attention of a mean, nasty tempered king and a not so smart prince who both desire her hand in marriage. Since neither royal men does Goose Girl desire, she plans an escape from her tower prison and takes off with her gaggle of geese only to find an adventure full of danger, magic, mishaps and a little romance. It was an entertaining read that had me laughing more than once.

Note: This was a book that I received from a member of
Bookcrossing.com

[Taffy · Rating 4 out of 5]

First line:

"The king killed my canary today."



What a great first line!

What a fun book to read! Full of fairy tale twists and characters.

Poor Alexandria became beautiful because of her god deed. Now the king of a neighboring kingdom seeks her hand in marriage as does the prince of her own kingdom. Her beauty helps as does the gold flakes that fall from her hair when she brushes it. Do these men really love her? Or her golden hair?

Alexandria is known as the Goose Girl because of the twelve geese she takes care of. And they take care of her. Rescuing, saving, protecting and hissing at their mistress is what those geese do well.

Goose Girl is told from Alexandria's humorous, biting voice. She only sees her side of the issues but soon grows up and cares about others. She's in a prisoner in a tower, is rescued, becomes a prisoner again, rescued again, imprisoned again...you get the gist.

Goose Girl is a great, fractured fairy tale that is a fun, twisting read.

Rated: G

V: Fairytale fighting

L: No

S: No

Liked:

Alexandria

The plot & twists

Disliked:

Sometimes the language got in the way of the story

[Kathy * Bookworm Nation · Rating 4 out of 5]

The past few times I have been at the library I have seen this on the suggested reading shelf; I liked the cover but never really stopped to look at it. Finally, I decided I would see what it was about, after reading the inside cover I decided to check it out. It is definitely meant for younger audiences, but I thought it was a fun quick read. It has a nice fairly-tale feel to it and the story was cute. I liked our heroine Alexandria, but was disappointed in Prince Edmund. At first he is portrayed as goof, and unfortunately that doesn’t change throughout the book. There were a few loose ends that weren’t quite tied up and the only other thing that bothered me was how many times the author used the word “Twas”, which drove me crazy. Other than that, if you are looking for a quick, lighthearted read than this is a great choice. I couldn’t help imagining if I had a daughter I could read this with, I think it would be a fun book to read with your children.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was charming and funny. Alexandria Aurora Fortunato, or Goose Girl as she is referred to for the bulk of the book, was given several annoying fairy gifts. She is more lovely than the dawn, when she brushes her hair she sprinkles gold dust everywhere, and her tears turn into diamonds. These gifts bring her to the attention of the cruel King of Gilboa and the somewhat dim Prince of Dorloo. Both men want to marry her, and they lock her in a tower until she picks one of them. Completely uninterested in either man, Alexandria stalls until she can figure out a way to escape the tower. Aided by her 12 geese, she makes her escape only to fall into the hands of three bloodthirsty, but not too smart, ogresses.

There's a failed rescue attempt by Prince Edmund of Dorloo, magical growing hair, more help from the geese, and evil plots by the King of Gilboa. Fast-paced and very fun.

[Chrisanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kindl's heroines are usually thrust into their role reluctantly. Extremely reluctantly. I love the realism they possess. No "world peace" goals for them, at least in the beginning. No, when we meet them the goals are completely and unabashedly selfish. Money, position, a life free from all pain. And then, as the story progresses, they get painfully and irreversibly drawn out of themselves. And such is the case here. There were a couple of "old" comments that aged the audience, though. But it's not a complete waste of time. Try her Keeping The Castle too.

[Jaemi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a wonderful treat in silliness. Not only was the fairy tale in and of itself enjoyable, our main characters, Alexandria and the Prince, not to mention her 12 geese, are quite a riot. Even when things are dire, the story is told with a humorous spin, and our hero and heroine are always concocting some new crazy scheme to get out of the next trouble. The way I figured it, any book that starts out "The King killed my canary" just has to be funny. And in no way did it disappoint. If you need some humor or a little light-heartedness, give this book a try.

[K. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Needed a bit of light reading in between Dickens and Goethe :)

Read this before, but just reread (Sept 2014). Adore the medieval-ish language, I think that is the most fun part of the book. Loved that I could hand it to my 12 year old and tell her to go for it (she did, read in an hour). Clean, humorous, adventurous. Only the slightest bit of romance in the future (no kissing, no swooning, just sweet, maybe when we're older type thing).

Heartily enjoyed

[Katerina · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was a nice story, but the whole thing was kind of like, "bleh" elongated on me. It was silly, and it was very casual writing. But the characters spoke quite formally. It was all very topsy-turvy. I didn't like the prince at all, he was just boring, but suddenly by the end, he's gone from an idiot to a knight in shining armor. The writing style was inconsistent. The qualities of the characters kept changing.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

REALLY CUTE

And clean and hilarious and basically everything a little fairytale retelling like this should be.

At the end there is a HUGE info dump that takes up basically a quarter of the book but it didn’t detract too much from the story.

I really liked how Alexandria grew to understand the prince and later love him despite flaws and bad history.

Bottom line: CUTE