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When Strivings Cease: Replacing the Gospel of Self-Improvement with the Gospel of Life-Transforming Grace
This is not a call to get busy; it’s a call to get discerning.
In this hustling, image-forward age of opportunity, women are more anxious than ever. Despite all the affirming memes and self-reflections that dominate social media feeds, approval and worth often seem assigned to what we do rather than who we are. And we end up constantly feeling behind, lacking, and like we're failing--at home, at work, with friends, with God.
Ruth Chou Simons knows something of feeling measured by achievement, performance, and the approval of others. As a Taiwanese immigrant growing up between two cultures, Ruth was always on a mission to prove her worth. Until she came to truly understand the one thing that changes everything: the extravagant, undeserved gift of grace from a merciful God. In When Strivings Cease, Ruth guides us all on a journey to find freedom from the never-ending quest for self-improvement. She shows us how to examine the ways we look to superficial means of acceptance and belonging, and find relief in realizing we can't be so amazing that we won't need grace; stop seeing God as someone we perform for and start finding delight in responding to God's welcome; and find relief from running the hamster wheel of relying on our own strength, our own abilities, and our own savvy--and always coming up short--by truly understanding the freedom Jesus purchased.
With personal story, biblical insights, practical applications, and original artwork by Ruth, this book helps us see the truth that God's favor is the only currency we need, because in Christ we are enough.
In this hustling, image-forward age of opportunity, women are more anxious than ever. Despite all the affirming memes and self-reflections that dominate social media feeds, approval and worth often seem assigned to what we do rather than who we are. And we end up constantly feeling behind, lacking, and like we're failing--at home, at work, with friends, with God.
Ruth Chou Simons knows something of feeling measured by achievement, performance, and the approval of others. As a Taiwanese immigrant growing up between two cultures, Ruth was always on a mission to prove her worth. Until she came to truly understand the one thing that changes everything: the extravagant, undeserved gift of grace from a merciful God. In When Strivings Cease, Ruth guides us all on a journey to find freedom from the never-ending quest for self-improvement. She shows us how to examine the ways we look to superficial means of acceptance and belonging, and find relief in realizing we can't be so amazing that we won't need grace; stop seeing God as someone we perform for and start finding delight in responding to God's welcome; and find relief from running the hamster wheel of relying on our own strength, our own abilities, and our own savvy--and always coming up short--by truly understanding the freedom Jesus purchased.
With personal story, biblical insights, practical applications, and original artwork by Ruth, this book helps us see the truth that God's favor is the only currency we need, because in Christ we are enough.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published October 12, 2021
856 people are currently reading
9412 people want to read
About the author
Ruth Chou Simons
53 books945 followersRuth Chou Simons is a Wall Street Journal bestselling and award-winning author of several books and Bible studies, including GraceLaced, Beholding and Becoming, When Strivings Cease, and Now and Not Yet. She is an artist, entrepreneur, podcaster, and speaker, using each of these platforms to sow the Word of God into people's hearts. Through her online shoppe at GraceLaced.com and her social media community, Simons shares her journey of God's grace intersecting daily life with word and art. Ruth and her husband, Troy, are grateful parents to six boys—their greatest adventure.
Connect with Ruth on social media at @ruthchousimons.
Connect with Ruth on social media at @ruthchousimons.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 558 reviews
October 3, 2021
I purchased When Strivings Cease because I was interested in hearing the story of another Asian-American woman. I read this book expecting God’s truth in action to everyday problems and encouragement to look to Jesus and not to the world for belonging. But as I finished the book, I sat in the discomfort of conviction and the unease of realizing my own areas of striving that need correction.
Grace is simple to know, difficult to accept. We desire to earn our place and standing, but at the feet of Jesus we truly have nothing to offer. Ruth so gently brings this to light and in her own description of the book, “It’s not a call to get busy; it’s a call to get discerning… life-changing and not just self- bettering.” Her personal stories of everyday striving are so relatable and she points us to how God speaks to each scenario. “We have to read the story God’s written into our lives through the language and lens of God’s Word. That language and that lens is the love of God- a love that pursues, rescues, redeems, and restores. These stories- our hard stories- don’t exist to highlight our ability to excavate the pits but to show off God’s amazing grace to lift us out.”
As a mom with three elementary aged boys, I was encouraged to show God’s grade in the little moments. “True change is made up of a million small, daily, seemingly insignificant choices. The course we take is determined by the minute pivots we make in the direction of our hearts’ desires and core beliefs.”
This book is for the woman who thinks she isn’t enough. This book is for the woman whose past guilt overwhelms her. This book is for the woman who feels like a failure. This book holds encouragement, hope, and grace grounded in God’s truth and love.
Grace is simple to know, difficult to accept. We desire to earn our place and standing, but at the feet of Jesus we truly have nothing to offer. Ruth so gently brings this to light and in her own description of the book, “It’s not a call to get busy; it’s a call to get discerning… life-changing and not just self- bettering.” Her personal stories of everyday striving are so relatable and she points us to how God speaks to each scenario. “We have to read the story God’s written into our lives through the language and lens of God’s Word. That language and that lens is the love of God- a love that pursues, rescues, redeems, and restores. These stories- our hard stories- don’t exist to highlight our ability to excavate the pits but to show off God’s amazing grace to lift us out.”
As a mom with three elementary aged boys, I was encouraged to show God’s grade in the little moments. “True change is made up of a million small, daily, seemingly insignificant choices. The course we take is determined by the minute pivots we make in the direction of our hearts’ desires and core beliefs.”
This book is for the woman who thinks she isn’t enough. This book is for the woman whose past guilt overwhelms her. This book is for the woman who feels like a failure. This book holds encouragement, hope, and grace grounded in God’s truth and love.
January 13, 2022
I don't know about you, but it is so easy for me to fall off the fence onto the side of works righteousness. That drive to do more, be more, make it happen. What I really need is to rest in the salvation already won for me in Jesus Christ. As I started my year with Ruth Chou Simons' book, I was reminded over and over of how amazing grace is. There is nothing I can do on my own to come anywhere close to what God has done by sending His son. As the second part of the title reminds us, we need to replace the gospel of self-improvement with the gospel of life-transforming grace. Only then can our strivings cease. As I updated my progress each day, I posted a favorite quote from the chapter I read. My favorite was this one: This is the trifecta of freedom in a believer's life. His faithfulness eclipses our clawing for control; his forgiveness erases debilitating guilt and shame; and his favor eradicates our need to look anywhere else for love than God himself.
For from him and through him and to him are all things.~Romans 11:36
For from him and through him and to him are all things.~Romans 11:36
October 5, 2021
I resonate so deeply with Ruth's story. Burdened by expectations, confused about the role of grace, and loaded with self-condemnation. This beautiful testimony of the way grace transforms the way we see ourselves and God. Culture today will yell "you are enough," but this is a beautiful reminder that only He is enough. He is holding us, so we can let go of our strivings and rest in his finished work.
Easy to read with beautiful artwork throughout, this is the perfect book for any woman struggling to accept God's grace for herself and for others.
Easy to read with beautiful artwork throughout, this is the perfect book for any woman struggling to accept God's grace for herself and for others.
November 30, 2022
A book perfect for women who have felt drowned in legalistic Christian cultures and mindsets that demand you be a perfect Godly woman, always making measurable progress, never make a mistake twice, and be good enough for the Gospel. This book revealed my own broken heart, comforting and soothing my yearning for grace with the truth of the Gospel.
God’s expectations for me were fulfilled by Jesus on the cross. Time to stop trying to measure up to the impossible and start walking in that freedom.
I wanted to include some favorite quotes but I used up literally an entire sheet of tabs marking lines that made me feel seen, sometimes they pinched and stung and sometimes they lifted and inspired, but be assured there wasn’t a single chapter—a single page!—where God didn’t use this book to meet me right where I am.
Here is a note I made reflecting after reading the first chapter or so:
“I feel hindered in my relationship with God because I feel unable to be perfectly obedient, and I have been taught to believe that God withholds grace from the disobedient, which is literally a contradiction. But still, if I am not doing the right thing, thinking the right thought, growing in the right ways, every time, then I am less than, and left wanting. And rather than believing God’s grace is ready to satisfy my measuring, I feel it is my responsibility to measure up.”
If this is you, grab this book!
God’s expectations for me were fulfilled by Jesus on the cross. Time to stop trying to measure up to the impossible and start walking in that freedom.
I wanted to include some favorite quotes but I used up literally an entire sheet of tabs marking lines that made me feel seen, sometimes they pinched and stung and sometimes they lifted and inspired, but be assured there wasn’t a single chapter—a single page!—where God didn’t use this book to meet me right where I am.
Here is a note I made reflecting after reading the first chapter or so:
“I feel hindered in my relationship with God because I feel unable to be perfectly obedient, and I have been taught to believe that God withholds grace from the disobedient, which is literally a contradiction. But still, if I am not doing the right thing, thinking the right thought, growing in the right ways, every time, then I am less than, and left wanting. And rather than believing God’s grace is ready to satisfy my measuring, I feel it is my responsibility to measure up.”
If this is you, grab this book!
March 13, 2022
Four stars feels generous but I'll give it. The overall point she's trying to make is good, but it definitely leans heavily on the side of grace with minimal talk of obedience; I don't recall the word repentance at all. Grace to live a righteous life only comes because of God's granting of faith and repentance. Important and necessary doctrines to living a "grace-laced" life - such as repentance and Christ's imputed righteousness - were danced around without being clearly and explicitly explained.
October 12, 2021
“God does not cancel but comforts in your shame. God does not shame you, but Christ bears your shame. God does not stand far off in judgment but runs to you in welcome.”
Starting this book, I don’t think I realized how many aspects of my life are controlled by striving - by not seeing myself for who I truly am in Christ - by trying to be the coolest or the best that I “am” but in reality forcing myself to be someone that I am not.
When Strivings Cease is a grace-filled look at why we strive. Ruth Chou Simmons hits on insecurities that cause us to strive but she doesn’t leave us dangling without hope, in fact she joins our world, sharing her own struggles, and consistently pointing us to Christ. Ruth quotes many scriptures as well as “greats of the faith” to support her points, and she does so in a way that you don’t feel mowed down by a mountain lion.
Honestly, When Strivings Cease should be a staple in all Christian women’s lives. I plan on re-reading once I get my physical copy of the book. (Partly because I know the artwork will be striking but also because I know I need these truths beat into my thick head!)
Thank you to Ruth Chou Simmons, GraceLaced, Netgalley, and the Unmutable team for giving me the chance to be a part of the launch team!
Starting this book, I don’t think I realized how many aspects of my life are controlled by striving - by not seeing myself for who I truly am in Christ - by trying to be the coolest or the best that I “am” but in reality forcing myself to be someone that I am not.
When Strivings Cease is a grace-filled look at why we strive. Ruth Chou Simmons hits on insecurities that cause us to strive but she doesn’t leave us dangling without hope, in fact she joins our world, sharing her own struggles, and consistently pointing us to Christ. Ruth quotes many scriptures as well as “greats of the faith” to support her points, and she does so in a way that you don’t feel mowed down by a mountain lion.
Honestly, When Strivings Cease should be a staple in all Christian women’s lives. I plan on re-reading once I get my physical copy of the book. (Partly because I know the artwork will be striking but also because I know I need these truths beat into my thick head!)
Thank you to Ruth Chou Simmons, GraceLaced, Netgalley, and the Unmutable team for giving me the chance to be a part of the launch team!
December 8, 2022
This book was exactly what I didn’t know I needed. So encouraging and deep and founded in scripture. Ruth Simons is now one of my favorites.
Thank you, Erin, for this book! I know I’ll be rereading it for years to come! For now, I’m still processing everything in the pages 💛
Thank you, Erin, for this book! I know I’ll be rereading it for years to come! For now, I’m still processing everything in the pages 💛
August 20, 2023
Yeah, no. Take what she says with a grain of salt. Look into who she collaborates with, events she speaks at, publishers she writes for, people she quotes and rubs elbows with. Be Bereans, folks. Use discernment.
Her God’s-grace-is-enough-stop-striving feel good message is same ol’ same ol’. There’s so much emphasis on God’s grace there’s the danger of thinking “let go, let God”. And she doesn’t go into the difference of worldly striving and Biblical striving. Ironically, the book is all about us and how we feel. The Bible verses and passages are used to back up the feel good message.
Basically her message should have included but doesn't:
Yes, stop striving after worldly acceptance and success. But, keep striving after Jesus Christ (worshiping Him with your heart, soul, and mind), the hope that is within you, and sharing His gospel with all. If you believe and love Jesus Christ and follow Him, the world will not accept you anyway. Common grace of God is abundant, giving good and beautiful things to all the world, believers and nonbelievers. (There's special grace for those who are His elect) And His patience is long, He is ready to forgive those who repent of their sins and believe He is Lord and Savior. There’s a joy in pursuing holiness, which is a good Biblical striving.
Her God’s-grace-is-enough-stop-striving feel good message is same ol’ same ol’. There’s so much emphasis on God’s grace there’s the danger of thinking “let go, let God”. And she doesn’t go into the difference of worldly striving and Biblical striving. Ironically, the book is all about us and how we feel. The Bible verses and passages are used to back up the feel good message.
Basically her message should have included but doesn't:
Yes, stop striving after worldly acceptance and success. But, keep striving after Jesus Christ (worshiping Him with your heart, soul, and mind), the hope that is within you, and sharing His gospel with all. If you believe and love Jesus Christ and follow Him, the world will not accept you anyway. Common grace of God is abundant, giving good and beautiful things to all the world, believers and nonbelievers. (There's special grace for those who are His elect) And His patience is long, He is ready to forgive those who repent of their sins and believe He is Lord and Savior. There’s a joy in pursuing holiness, which is a good Biblical striving.
March 11, 2022
Ok, I know I’m in the minority that didn’t love this book, I’m sorry. I wanted to like it, I really did, but I felt like it was far too wordy. The book focused just about entirely on grace and it did so ad nauseam, repeating much of the same over and over again. I felt like she spent far too much time discussing grace and not enough about obedience to God. Yes, we are covered by grace and don’t have to try to earn love and forgiveness and salvation. But that doesn’t give us a free pass to do whatever we want and live however we want. We are called to become more Christlike and we do so through obedience to God. Perhaps I’m not the target audience of this book (though I am a female in my 30s) because I’ve always understood God’s grace and its role in my life and relationship with Him. I’m not overly ambitious and do not feel the need to live up to others expectations of me. I feel like this book would be best read by those newer to the faith or those struggling in their faith. I’m also not a touchy, feely, overly emotional woman, so I don’t need my hand held the way I felt she did the entire book. This book wasn’t for me, but I do believe it could be useful for some….
October 23, 2021
This book was good. Really good. I love how personal and relatable Ruth is. Reading this book was like sitting down with an old friend. Ruth shares her childhood experiences as an immigrant family and striving to fit in. Ruth constantly pointed to the gospel truth throughout this book. It was wonderful to read. Culture will tell you that ‘you are enough’, but it’s a wonderful reminder that only God is enough. We need to rest in him and let go of our strivings. We need to be shaped by Gods word and accept Gods grace. Ruth reminds us that God desires us to know him and enjoy him forever. Because of Christ’s finished work on the cross, Gods grace brings freedom and change. I also loved that the title of this book is in one of my favourite songs “In Christ Alone”.
I hope that you are able to read this book. I can’t recommend it enough! Thank you @ruthchousimons @gracelaced , Netgalley, and the Unmutable Team for letting me be a part of this launch team!
I hope that you are able to read this book. I can’t recommend it enough! Thank you @ruthchousimons @gracelaced , Netgalley, and the Unmutable Team for letting me be a part of this launch team!
February 9, 2023
the message of this book was simple, yet something that everyone has struggled with at least once. it was honestly a great reminder in my life, and i would definitely recommend!
October 19, 2023
Just refreshing and so needed. This is an audio of I ever see the physical copy I will scoop up.
I felt the author was vulnerable and authentic and so real in sharing her struggles of insecurities, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacies. All these things we struggle with every day. Loved the cultural aspect of her heritage as well- as she didn’t blame her upbringing but it played a part.
When our strivings cease we can fully dwell and love richly in God’s amazing grace. How wonderful to know we Donny have to do or be to attain this. He gives it Toni’s freely.
Have just recently gone back to listening to her podcast and love it.
I felt the author was vulnerable and authentic and so real in sharing her struggles of insecurities, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacies. All these things we struggle with every day. Loved the cultural aspect of her heritage as well- as she didn’t blame her upbringing but it played a part.
When our strivings cease we can fully dwell and love richly in God’s amazing grace. How wonderful to know we Donny have to do or be to attain this. He gives it Toni’s freely.
Have just recently gone back to listening to her podcast and love it.
December 29, 2022
Genres: Nonfiction/Christian Living
I liked this one. The author shared a bit about her own personal history and her striving to live the "gospel-life." I liked her thought process and her love for the scriptures and for helping others find what she has.
I read a book by this author yesterday and it felt a little fluffy. Thankfully this one didn't have as much of that feel to it. I really enjoyed the flow of this one. So 4 stars.
I liked this one. The author shared a bit about her own personal history and her striving to live the "gospel-life." I liked her thought process and her love for the scriptures and for helping others find what she has.
I read a book by this author yesterday and it felt a little fluffy. Thankfully this one didn't have as much of that feel to it. I really enjoyed the flow of this one. So 4 stars.
March 8, 2022
I majorly slowed down in Jan/Feb with reading this but I still enjoyed it!
Some of my underlined quotes from the book:
Pg. 59
“ we were meant to experience the reality and disappointment of never being enough in our own merits and abilities.”
“You and I are freed from disappointment in others and disappointment in ourselves, not because we can let it go but because God stops us in the middle of our striving and comes after us. He doesn’t let us go… [he] sets out the welcome mat of grace for me and for you.”
Pg. 64
“I wonder how many times I’ve forfeited freedom in doing what God’s called me to do because I’ve been more aware of my performance than God’s purpose in creating me for the task.”
Pg . 131
“ Grace isn’t just the field of wildflowers you get to run through because you’ve been forgiven. Grace is the kindness of God that led you to that glorious field in the first place. Without grace, we wouldn’t even know how desperately we are in need of it.”
Some of my underlined quotes from the book:
Pg. 59
“ we were meant to experience the reality and disappointment of never being enough in our own merits and abilities.”
“You and I are freed from disappointment in others and disappointment in ourselves, not because we can let it go but because God stops us in the middle of our striving and comes after us. He doesn’t let us go… [he] sets out the welcome mat of grace for me and for you.”
Pg. 64
“I wonder how many times I’ve forfeited freedom in doing what God’s called me to do because I’ve been more aware of my performance than God’s purpose in creating me for the task.”
Pg . 131
“ Grace isn’t just the field of wildflowers you get to run through because you’ve been forgiven. Grace is the kindness of God that led you to that glorious field in the first place. Without grace, we wouldn’t even know how desperately we are in need of it.”
March 20, 2023
I don’t have the words for how amazing this book was!
It had been on my TBR for a while, but after some friends spoke so highly of it (thank you!!), I finally took the leap, and I’m so glad I did!
For years I wouldn’t have acknowledged that legalism was an issue in my life… until I realised just how much is was. And this book was a breath of fresh air! It ministered to my heart in so many ways - encouraging & challenging me & reminding me I’m not alone.
It’s a book for women who feel like they’re drowning in expectations of being “a good Christian” & reminds us of the true heart of God and the gospel! Definitely one of the most impactful reads of my adult life! 💛
“Gods good gifts don’t depend on your perfection; they’ve already been secured in our perfect Savior, Christ. The pressure’s off, friend. Get off that stage, and rest.”
It had been on my TBR for a while, but after some friends spoke so highly of it (thank you!!), I finally took the leap, and I’m so glad I did!
For years I wouldn’t have acknowledged that legalism was an issue in my life… until I realised just how much is was. And this book was a breath of fresh air! It ministered to my heart in so many ways - encouraging & challenging me & reminding me I’m not alone.
It’s a book for women who feel like they’re drowning in expectations of being “a good Christian” & reminds us of the true heart of God and the gospel! Definitely one of the most impactful reads of my adult life! 💛
“Gods good gifts don’t depend on your perfection; they’ve already been secured in our perfect Savior, Christ. The pressure’s off, friend. Get off that stage, and rest.”
dnf-for-now
May 29, 2023i got bored with it 😅 gonna try picking it back up in a few months though, because the message was really good
October 8, 2021
Sitting down with this book is like having a conversation with a dear friend who really gets it, who has stood in your shoes and can empathize with the struggle of not measuring up, feeling unseen and unwelcome. Ruth is not afraid to call it like it is and push back against the trend of self-help, do more to be better, 5 step plans to arrive in this world. But then she draws you close and reminds you that while you can never possibly be enough, you don’t have to be. You are not alone or unseen and you can stop carrying the weight of trying.
I found it to be so encouraging to read chapter after chapter that had me saying, “Yes! this is exactly how I feel!“ and to be reminded of this counter cultural truth that I don’t have to be enough because Jesus is; I am welcome and belong simply because Jesus says I am. Ruth reminds you, with honesty and gentleness, that God’s grace is sufficient and unfailing. If you’ve ever found yourself battling fear and shame and questioning your worth and welcome, let Ruth pull you along the journey to remind you that your rest and worth are in far more capable hands than your own.
I found it to be so encouraging to read chapter after chapter that had me saying, “Yes! this is exactly how I feel!“ and to be reminded of this counter cultural truth that I don’t have to be enough because Jesus is; I am welcome and belong simply because Jesus says I am. Ruth reminds you, with honesty and gentleness, that God’s grace is sufficient and unfailing. If you’ve ever found yourself battling fear and shame and questioning your worth and welcome, let Ruth pull you along the journey to remind you that your rest and worth are in far more capable hands than your own.
November 29, 2022
I underlined so much of this book! So very needed and refreshing ♡
January 5, 2023
Excellent 1st read of the year. God’s grace is enough. I’m trusting him with my story. Quit allowing satan to put question marks where God has placed periods.
June 15, 2023
The author does not differentiate worldly striving, from biblical striving, better worded biblical obedience. Her argument for not striving is grace & the verses used are well known verses to fit her stories, thoughts, and ideas. All used well within context & she explains her thoughts well. My concern stems from her not differentiating a life with Christ from a secular lifestyle. One could argue after reading this book "do whatever you want on earth it doesn't matter, because grace". Grace is a wonderful gift from the Lord and it is not regarded as so in this book.
All of this is from personal experience in a woman's group. This book took many conversations on grace out of its original context of God's intended purpose for it. It was especially confusing for woman who were newer in their walks with God. I would have put this book down and said "not for me" after the first few chapters had I been reading it alone. My biggest concern about this book was from the conversations that came from it & were not rooted in biblical truth.
All of this is from personal experience in a woman's group. This book took many conversations on grace out of its original context of God's intended purpose for it. It was especially confusing for woman who were newer in their walks with God. I would have put this book down and said "not for me" after the first few chapters had I been reading it alone. My biggest concern about this book was from the conversations that came from it & were not rooted in biblical truth.
May 22, 2022
I really enjoyed this book. Reading this felt like sitting down on a big comfy couch with an iced coffee and having a conversation with a friend. It was encouraging and comforting, but convicting when it needed to be and didn’t skimp speaking the truth. Every word was written with love and a desire for the reader to know the full picture of the true Gospel.
She mentions in the book that she wrote this is for doers, for the ones who like to check a box and get things done, for the ones who feel like they have to work to be “good enough” for God. If that is you, please give this book a try!
She mentions in the book that she wrote this is for doers, for the ones who like to check a box and get things done, for the ones who feel like they have to work to be “good enough” for God. If that is you, please give this book a try!
July 25, 2021
4.25 stars. This was a wonderfully written memoir focused on trading self-improvement for the Gospel. With soul-stirring reflections and deep scriptural analysis, Ruth brings her strong voice to the conversation, urging others to accept grace instead of finding their identity in good works. I also loved reading Ruth’s perspective as a Chinese immigrant which made the book feel even more special. Everything from the art to the writing was so well done. I connected more to the first part of this book than the second part, but I’d absolutely recommend this book to other Believers.
March 21, 2022
“Could it be that we are so worn and desperate for ways to better ourselves because we’ve missed the power, inherent in the grace of God, that eradicates self-improvement altogether?”
“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10)
This is such an important book.
Just that phrase- ‘when strivings cease’- doesn’t that sound nice?
I don’t know about you, but I definitely feel the exhaustion of striving. Of trying to be better. Of trying to be good enough.
It’s such an easy trap to fall into. It’s the voice of the world, the message of our society: ‘You have what it takes if you dig deep enough, try hard enough, you are your own hero, you can achieve anything you set your mind on, go get it girl, it’s yours for the taking.’
And since we like control, standards that are measurable, and lists that are checkable, we run that little hamster wheel of striving to be the ever elusive perfect version of ourselves and it is truly never-ending. What is the goal anyway? Do we even know anymore?
Ruth Chou Simons has written this book from her own battles with striving— rooted partly in the achievement and honor based Asian culture she grew up with and shares with readers— and encourages us to reject the striving and to rest in the grace of God.
“We’re worshiping the gospel of self-reliance. Self-reliance is something we can control, manipulate, and measure according to our efforts. Grace, on the other hand, is countercultural with its rejection of self-sufficiency and its relinquishing of power. Whether we recognize it or not our culture is sadly intoxicated with the lure of all that’s measurable and based on self-reliance, even for those who claim to represent the gospel of Christ. We say we trust that Jesus is enough, but we spend our lives trying to prove that we are, instead.”
Part One
These first chapters talk about all the things we strive for. I was surprised to realize how many of these I actually do.
We strive:
- to please
- for attention
- to be good enough
- for approval
- to save ourselves through perfection
- to belong
- to outrun shame
- to have it all
We think we are broken, we are unworthy, and unwelcome. We think God won’t love us or want to hear from us until we have our act together. Until we’ve proven our love and devotion by our good works.
We twist what we deem ‘acceptable’ when we partake of the cancel culture environment. We have to fit in with the shifting sands of cultural acceptability where there is no redemption, just running from reprimands.
And in our efforts of striving we place our own expectations on other people and become disappointed when they don’t measure up either.
We make idols of people, achievements, and attributes in our attempts to become our best selves.
All of these things show that we don’t really know God or His gospel.
I hadn’t read that verse in Psalm that I wrote at the beginning of this review in that translation before. You may recognize the verse as ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ But I like that adjustment in wording.
Cease striving. And know God.
If we know God then we know he loves us and has always loved us before we ever did anything good or bad. If we know the gospel we know that we can never do enough to earn our salvation. We can never be good enough. But we don’t have to be. Jesus took our sin and bestowed on us his righteousness.
I reflected on that verse a few years ago in this blog post. But I hadn’t considered this aspect of what ‘be still’ entails. It’s not just to trust God in the storms and destruction and chaos of life.
It’s to relinquish both the outcomes and the outworkings.
Striving leads to our own exaltation.
Resting in grace leads to God’s exaltation who sanctifies us through his Spirit not our efforts.
Part Two
The last chapters remind us what grace actually does for us.
Grace:
- makes us new
- fuels good works
- cancels our debt
- rewrites our stories
- replaces fear with freedom
- makes forgiveness possible
Grace is such a common Christian word that sometimes I think we forget what it means. We may believe ourselves unworthy of it, or we may use it as an excuse to even try to obey at all.
I think it’s a tough balance between obedience and pursuing holiness, yet resisting our desires to earn our salvation and our worth.
Here Ruth helps us visualize how grace plays out in our lives.
In one chapter she asks what we find hard to forgive in others. Then she says that if it’s something you can measure in yourself, you’re missing God’s grace. I thought it was really interesting to ponder the things that are hard for me to forgive and to realize how those things are a reflection of what I’m trying to measure and live up to in myself.
Extending forgiveness acknowledges our own failures and our own need for forgiveness. It relinquishes our self-given right to judge others’ righteousness. And it shows us where we have placed a barrier in ourselves against God’s grace.
Another thing she talked about that resonated with me was this quote:
“Rest and satisfaction are essentially what awaited the Israelites in the promised land. Rest from their toils and striving, satisfaction for their hunger and longings. And you may remember, they couldn’t access God’s promised rest in their disbelief, fear, and distrust. They couldn’t receive the land even when they tried to take it with their own hands with fervor… The Israelites did not settle the Land of Milk and Honey until they believed and trusted the God who promised it.”
I reflected on the promised land and God’s deliverance of us from our slavery to our sin and worship of self in this blog post. Ruth gives us this good reminder that the benefits of God’s grace only come when we trust in his deliverance and stop trying to control everything and manage our morality.
Real freedom comes from surrendering not striving.
Conclusion
Ruth ends her book with this summary:
“Strivings cease when…
… we no longer need to prove our worth.
… we stop chasing approval as our comfort.
… we glory in our weakness.
… God is greater than our accomplishments.
… we know peace apart from pleasing others.
… God is for us and no longer against us.
… Jesus so captures our gaze we stop chasing everything else.”
This book is for everyone. Battling the striving mentality is a daily endeavor. This book is relatable and convicting. It will bring the meaning of ‘grace’ back to life for you and offers you the best way out of the exhaustion and disappointment.
I can’t help but read the title of this book and think of the song In Christ Alone. Such a fitting title of a song and lyrics that remind us that He is all we need. He is our hope and our peace. When strivings cease.
“In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.”
More Quotes
[because she says it better than I can]
“We’re working so hard to bloom, to bend, to please that we’ve neglected the soil from which we flourish.”
“We can’t know true freedom if we expect grace to make us merely better, rather than completely new.”
“God wants our true worship, not our perfect performance.”
“Our efforts make us prideful, even though we still question if we’ve done enough. Because we don’t believe we‘re hopeless enough or that God is merciful enough, we become driven by merit rather than grace. But we end up feeling disappointed all the time because our standards are defined not by God’s ability but our own. And we’re trying to hold others up to the same standards.”
“Are you more concerned with your performance or God’s presence in doing the work?”
“Is being the hero of your own story actually a relief? Is self-reliance truly satisfying?”
“Social media posts, brand alignment, political affiliation, mask wearing, vaccines, protests, news channels. These are just a few areas where the collective is now shaping what we think of as acceptable. The sad part is the way we’ve come to determine someone’s worthiness based on our different definitions of acceptability. We’ve somehow replaced identity with identification.”
“When we strive to avoid shame, the antidote isn’t self-love— that’s where I think current self-help fails us as Christ followers. We don’t need to simply feel no shame; instead, we need to recognize that the entire redemption story is about shame and ‘everything Scripture says about shame converges at Jesus. From his birth to his crucifixion, the shame of the world was distilled to its most concentrated form and washed over him.’”
“We can call it spiritual discipline, hard work, commitment, or pursuit of holiness, but if it’s motivated by self-fulfillment or self-improvement, it’s not a worship of God; it’s a worship of self.”
“Without grace, we wouldn’t even know how desperately we are in need of it.”
“God’s grace isn’t an afterthought for a believer walking through unexpected circumstances; it’s the anchor.”
“Satan’s very favorite tactic, from the beginning, has been to mess with our minds and to plant seeds of doubt in God’s faithfulness, God’s forgiveness, and God’s favor. This is the trifecta of freedom in a believer’s life. His faithfulness eclipses our clawing for control; his forgiveness erases debilitating guilt and shame; and his favor eradicates our need to look anywhere else for love than God himself.”
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
**Received a copy via Goodreads Giveaway**
“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10)
This is such an important book.
Just that phrase- ‘when strivings cease’- doesn’t that sound nice?
I don’t know about you, but I definitely feel the exhaustion of striving. Of trying to be better. Of trying to be good enough.
It’s such an easy trap to fall into. It’s the voice of the world, the message of our society: ‘You have what it takes if you dig deep enough, try hard enough, you are your own hero, you can achieve anything you set your mind on, go get it girl, it’s yours for the taking.’
And since we like control, standards that are measurable, and lists that are checkable, we run that little hamster wheel of striving to be the ever elusive perfect version of ourselves and it is truly never-ending. What is the goal anyway? Do we even know anymore?
Ruth Chou Simons has written this book from her own battles with striving— rooted partly in the achievement and honor based Asian culture she grew up with and shares with readers— and encourages us to reject the striving and to rest in the grace of God.
“We’re worshiping the gospel of self-reliance. Self-reliance is something we can control, manipulate, and measure according to our efforts. Grace, on the other hand, is countercultural with its rejection of self-sufficiency and its relinquishing of power. Whether we recognize it or not our culture is sadly intoxicated with the lure of all that’s measurable and based on self-reliance, even for those who claim to represent the gospel of Christ. We say we trust that Jesus is enough, but we spend our lives trying to prove that we are, instead.”
Part One
These first chapters talk about all the things we strive for. I was surprised to realize how many of these I actually do.
We strive:
- to please
- for attention
- to be good enough
- for approval
- to save ourselves through perfection
- to belong
- to outrun shame
- to have it all
We think we are broken, we are unworthy, and unwelcome. We think God won’t love us or want to hear from us until we have our act together. Until we’ve proven our love and devotion by our good works.
We twist what we deem ‘acceptable’ when we partake of the cancel culture environment. We have to fit in with the shifting sands of cultural acceptability where there is no redemption, just running from reprimands.
And in our efforts of striving we place our own expectations on other people and become disappointed when they don’t measure up either.
We make idols of people, achievements, and attributes in our attempts to become our best selves.
All of these things show that we don’t really know God or His gospel.
I hadn’t read that verse in Psalm that I wrote at the beginning of this review in that translation before. You may recognize the verse as ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ But I like that adjustment in wording.
Cease striving. And know God.
If we know God then we know he loves us and has always loved us before we ever did anything good or bad. If we know the gospel we know that we can never do enough to earn our salvation. We can never be good enough. But we don’t have to be. Jesus took our sin and bestowed on us his righteousness.
I reflected on that verse a few years ago in this blog post. But I hadn’t considered this aspect of what ‘be still’ entails. It’s not just to trust God in the storms and destruction and chaos of life.
It’s to relinquish both the outcomes and the outworkings.
Striving leads to our own exaltation.
Resting in grace leads to God’s exaltation who sanctifies us through his Spirit not our efforts.
Part Two
The last chapters remind us what grace actually does for us.
Grace:
- makes us new
- fuels good works
- cancels our debt
- rewrites our stories
- replaces fear with freedom
- makes forgiveness possible
Grace is such a common Christian word that sometimes I think we forget what it means. We may believe ourselves unworthy of it, or we may use it as an excuse to even try to obey at all.
I think it’s a tough balance between obedience and pursuing holiness, yet resisting our desires to earn our salvation and our worth.
Here Ruth helps us visualize how grace plays out in our lives.
In one chapter she asks what we find hard to forgive in others. Then she says that if it’s something you can measure in yourself, you’re missing God’s grace. I thought it was really interesting to ponder the things that are hard for me to forgive and to realize how those things are a reflection of what I’m trying to measure and live up to in myself.
Extending forgiveness acknowledges our own failures and our own need for forgiveness. It relinquishes our self-given right to judge others’ righteousness. And it shows us where we have placed a barrier in ourselves against God’s grace.
Another thing she talked about that resonated with me was this quote:
“Rest and satisfaction are essentially what awaited the Israelites in the promised land. Rest from their toils and striving, satisfaction for their hunger and longings. And you may remember, they couldn’t access God’s promised rest in their disbelief, fear, and distrust. They couldn’t receive the land even when they tried to take it with their own hands with fervor… The Israelites did not settle the Land of Milk and Honey until they believed and trusted the God who promised it.”
I reflected on the promised land and God’s deliverance of us from our slavery to our sin and worship of self in this blog post. Ruth gives us this good reminder that the benefits of God’s grace only come when we trust in his deliverance and stop trying to control everything and manage our morality.
Real freedom comes from surrendering not striving.
Conclusion
Ruth ends her book with this summary:
“Strivings cease when…
… we no longer need to prove our worth.
… we stop chasing approval as our comfort.
… we glory in our weakness.
… God is greater than our accomplishments.
… we know peace apart from pleasing others.
… God is for us and no longer against us.
… Jesus so captures our gaze we stop chasing everything else.”
This book is for everyone. Battling the striving mentality is a daily endeavor. This book is relatable and convicting. It will bring the meaning of ‘grace’ back to life for you and offers you the best way out of the exhaustion and disappointment.
I can’t help but read the title of this book and think of the song In Christ Alone. Such a fitting title of a song and lyrics that remind us that He is all we need. He is our hope and our peace. When strivings cease.
“In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.”
More Quotes
[because she says it better than I can]
“We’re working so hard to bloom, to bend, to please that we’ve neglected the soil from which we flourish.”
“We can’t know true freedom if we expect grace to make us merely better, rather than completely new.”
“God wants our true worship, not our perfect performance.”
“Our efforts make us prideful, even though we still question if we’ve done enough. Because we don’t believe we‘re hopeless enough or that God is merciful enough, we become driven by merit rather than grace. But we end up feeling disappointed all the time because our standards are defined not by God’s ability but our own. And we’re trying to hold others up to the same standards.”
“Are you more concerned with your performance or God’s presence in doing the work?”
“Is being the hero of your own story actually a relief? Is self-reliance truly satisfying?”
“Social media posts, brand alignment, political affiliation, mask wearing, vaccines, protests, news channels. These are just a few areas where the collective is now shaping what we think of as acceptable. The sad part is the way we’ve come to determine someone’s worthiness based on our different definitions of acceptability. We’ve somehow replaced identity with identification.”
“When we strive to avoid shame, the antidote isn’t self-love— that’s where I think current self-help fails us as Christ followers. We don’t need to simply feel no shame; instead, we need to recognize that the entire redemption story is about shame and ‘everything Scripture says about shame converges at Jesus. From his birth to his crucifixion, the shame of the world was distilled to its most concentrated form and washed over him.’”
“We can call it spiritual discipline, hard work, commitment, or pursuit of holiness, but if it’s motivated by self-fulfillment or self-improvement, it’s not a worship of God; it’s a worship of self.”
“Without grace, we wouldn’t even know how desperately we are in need of it.”
“God’s grace isn’t an afterthought for a believer walking through unexpected circumstances; it’s the anchor.”
“Satan’s very favorite tactic, from the beginning, has been to mess with our minds and to plant seeds of doubt in God’s faithfulness, God’s forgiveness, and God’s favor. This is the trifecta of freedom in a believer’s life. His faithfulness eclipses our clawing for control; his forgiveness erases debilitating guilt and shame; and his favor eradicates our need to look anywhere else for love than God himself.”
Book Review Blog | Facebook | Pinterest
**Received a copy via Goodreads Giveaway**
September 1, 2022
As a “recovering perfectionist”, I identify a lot with the author Ruth’s personality and story of striving. Writing as if she was sitting across the table getting coffee with the reader, Ruth genuinely and warmly shares what God has taught her about performance and grace with personal stories, examples, and biblical truths. This book is really all about the gospel, and how having a proper perspective of it that is constantly being renewed is essential for our lives. It’s an easy read and one I would share with a friend.
October 3, 2021
When Strivings Cease by Ruth Chou Simons is a book that makes you question why you do the things you do. Are you striving to please people or God? Do you give up for fear that you are not good enough for God? Ruth helps you realize that God provides us grace. We need to lean into God’s grace so that we won’t be exhausted trying to please people or live up to the so called standards of culture. Instead of being shaped by culture, we need to be shaped by God’s word and accept God’s grace because we will never be perfect. God is after our hearts, not perfection. As Ruth reminds us, God desires for us to desire Him (God) and for God’s glory to be made known through our life. Jesus paid our debts through His death and resurrection. “The only hope we have for feeling the freedom of a debt cancelled and paid for, and believing we are no longer condemned, is to continually dwell and rest in the exceedingly greater power of God’s love to rescue us. To drink of His cup of salvation and to turn to no other.” We do not owe God payment. God wants our gratitude, surrender, and for us to glorify Him. Ruth teaches us that, “Jesus sets the example for us to anchor our Hope and defense in the Word of God. Renewing our minds with the truth of our salvation leads to transformation and steadiness of thought, and therein lies the secret to fighting the spirit of fear with the spirit of power and love.”
As a person who struggles with wanting to please others, I found this book helpful. It reminds me to keep my focus on God, His words, His grace, and His forgiveness. It’s a reminder to stay in God’s word, allowing it to fill my heart and mind. This will help me look to Him instead of others for joy and standards to live by. It will help me fight off fears.
As a person who struggles with wanting to please others, I found this book helpful. It reminds me to keep my focus on God, His words, His grace, and His forgiveness. It’s a reminder to stay in God’s word, allowing it to fill my heart and mind. This will help me look to Him instead of others for joy and standards to live by. It will help me fight off fears.
Read
February 5, 2022I love Ruth's voice, but had to rush through the last 35% of this to return it to the library on time. I'd love to pick up an audio copy in the future since that's my preferred way to ingest nonfiction. I'll abstain from a rating since I didn't get to savor this book, but would recommend it overall!
July 26, 2025
Always a breath of fresh air…
Her calm, confident demeanor is refreshing and her take on hard issues is uplifting.
Always pointing us to scripture and what we can learn through our life experiences.
Are we always perfect? No. Does God expect perfection? No. Can we ever work our way to the top of Gods love? No.
We ‘simply’ need to seek Him in all we do and live for His glory.
Her calm, confident demeanor is refreshing and her take on hard issues is uplifting.
Always pointing us to scripture and what we can learn through our life experiences.
Are we always perfect? No. Does God expect perfection? No. Can we ever work our way to the top of Gods love? No.
We ‘simply’ need to seek Him in all we do and live for His glory.
February 6, 2022
Spoke straight to my heart 😭
October 11, 2021
Another gem by Ruth Chou Simons. A thoughtful, thought-provoking read that will cause you to question how you currently understand and apply grace. Ruth shares candidly about her transition, culturally and spiritually, to a new life of allowing God’s grace to transform her every day. Highlighter at the ready, you are going to want to use it!
June 26, 2022
This books was such a good read! Ruth writes so well, is very relatable and encouraging. I have many hi-lighted quotes in this book as many things she shared resonated with me and reminded me of God's goodness.
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