Love isn't something Dez has time for. Simply staying alive is too much work. Even worse, the thing trying to get her is something she can't outrun: her own dark thoughts. Three years after the incident, she's only getting worse. Even the thought of casually brushing up against another person triggers her panic attacks, yet everyone says she should be fine.
They call her a survivor, but this feels more like a downward spiral - until a random encounter brings her face to face with the one person who might understand. Chance needs a miracle, and he's decided she's the only thing that can save his crumbling game company. Her, the broken girl with way too many issues.
She agrees to help but has three conditions. First, no one will touch her - ever. Second, no drug tests, because she won't pass. Third, when she's done, he won't try to stop her from quitting. Those are her rules, and to Dez, this isn't just a game.
Except he has his own problem. Chance needs contact to feel whole, and she can't handle the idea of being touched. There's no way this situation can work. Plus, if her secrets come out, she won't be the miracle he needs.
But can her flaws finally help? Or is this game over?
This is the first book in the Gamer Girls series, but it can be read as a complete standalone. I expect the next books in the series will feature heroes from this book and continue the fantastic, nail-biting suspense plotline that this one introduced. I’m not going to go too into depth about the plot because I’m tired after reading this, but it’s so, so good! Dez has been to hell and back, and Chance is also revealed to have had quite some trauma in his childhood. They have a agonizingly beautiful slow-burn romance. What makes this book so unique is all the gamer-talk. I’m a casual gamer (Bioshock, Resident Evil 4, and Left 4 Dead 2 are my faaaaves), and I loved the level of depth that the conversations about gaming and developing games brought to the novel. The hot topic of misogyny in the gaming world were on point, and these sensitive themes were so well tackled throughout the storyline. All that said, the book is quite long, and it started to feel a little repetitive at points. Conversations about the same topics were often repeated. It’s the only reason I didn’t rate this book 5 stars, because I was able to put this book down for long periods of time, whereas for me, a true 5-star read is unputdownable. HOWEVER, this book stuck in my mind and I didn’t forget the plot or characters between readings. This is definitely a memorable book!
Flawed is a the love story about two survivors that find something more than a fix in one another. Neither of them planned on the generic plan to fall in love and all that jazz. Yet, C & D end up creating a bond that surpasses touch.
The story isn't perfect. There are details that don't really work for me because life experiences add to the general knowledge pool and that makes it hard to suspend belief. Those minor details stand out because this story was well done. Are the ideas and themes pretty blatant? Yes, but they are threads of a whole vs being the main sledgehammer thrown around at the reader. The heart of this story is about C & D. I adored the way they fall in love. Even if I didn't think it was realistic. =)
Not Realistic: - Some of the background story for Dez and aftermath. - The time frame in which C & D heal from their individual drugs of choice. - Some of the tech/procedural aspects of programming, criminal cases, etc.
Loved: - Chance, Dex & Flawed Crew + Jason - The way Chance & Dex heal & fall in love. - Gamer/Programmer Love for Creating & Playing - Flawed Game Concepts & Theme - Internet Trolling & Threats are a real thing. - Sexism, Sexuality Bias, Victim Awareness vs Victim Blaming
Just what I needed. Riveting, loving, and flawed all at once.
This book was awesome, though also contained tragedy. Though we don’t see what happens to Dez when she is abducted, we do learn more about what happens within the story.
When we first meet Dez after that time in her life, she is nothing like she was. She’s covered in game tattoos, she’s also an addict, tossing back pills to cope with the mental scars from her abduction.
Chance, the guy who talked to Dez before her abduction randomly finds her in a Home Depot. Oddest place, but it worked for them, and it worked for him. She got to keep her habit, and a place to live if she could help him with her game when the guy she recommended tells Chance she’s better, and he’s too busy.
They develop a somewhat unconventional relationship. Now typically I do not enjoy reading about the H banging another person who isn’t the FMC, but this worked based on their flaws.
Chance is a sex addict and needs touch to cope with feeling invisible or forgotten. Dez needs to not touch any one ever. They are both attracted to each other that they slowly develop a relationship, even going so far as Dez picking out his conquests. It weirded me out the first time before their agreement, but afterward I became to understand it. She couldn’t touch him and he needs it, they were both getting their needs fulfilled. My main issue is not letting the OW know that she was there for their kink so to speak. That bugged me.
Another thing that bugged me was how easy it was for Dez to give up her addiction, and for Chance to give up his. Neither had a relapse during the book. We didn’t see Dez go though withdrawals only a little bit in the beginning. We didn’t see her struggle with her cravings and such. I felt like even though she was mentally wanting to be sober, having some habits and setbacks would be normal. You can’t even wean off like that and not feel something.
Another thing that was never addressed is why her mom abandoned her. Like because she was an addict? We don’t hear anything about her mom after the first few comments. Though there’s a scene with Chance’s mom, with whom he hasn’t spoken to much in over a year. And yet they get a scene of them kinda making up. Also based on that scene I kind of expected to see him mom and Dez meeting and how that goes.
I also hope Jason gets a book of his own, I want his story. Jason is a side character that comes in later.
This book does use derogatory terms when the harassment starts, has talks about rape and abuse. Definitely check out the TW, but we never actually read scenes of it happening. We are usually told by Dez herself in her own words what happened.
I loved it, it was different and while I don’t know all the terms it was a fun read too. It was great seeing Dez’s growth. Can’t wait for more.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This one was just a little too long for me and the story dragged. And somehow even with an over abundance of story I felt like there wasn't enough of Dez and Chance
This book frankly surprised me. I was forewarned that it has situations in it that could potentially be triggers to people sensitive about stalking, rape, torture, drugs, & addictions so I was honestly expecting something really dark. Stick it out through the graphic language early on (if that kind of thing bothers you) and you'll see like I did -that isn't the case. I've tried writing this review 3 times already and it's so hard to put into words. There are things in this plot that I ~thought~ would have me closing the book or shaking my head in judgement of the characters on the pages. Instead, it's such a well written view into the side of human nature that the majority of people don't even want to admit to, in spite of how many have it. We are all flawed - regardless of your personal experiences or how you have handled them. I would urge people to pick this story up and really read it with an open mind. It's a good book with a great message that isn't crammed down your throat. On top of that - it's really entertaining. Don't expect complete closure on everything because it's the prequel to a series, but it is a complete, self-contained story line.
Gamer Girls For a woman who was already mid twenties, I never got into gaming. I love playing board games and I have a few online versions of my fav board games, but I never got into the other stuff. So a lot of the terms in this world is unknown to me, but luckily I a fast learner and a tech fan. That said you do not have to be a gamer Girl to l love this series. Women working in fields that where men used to be the dominant gender can for sure relate to this book. I loved the main characters Dez and Chance. They had so many visions how they wanted the game industry to develop. But both had their trauma and a lot of psychological growing to do, to become better. I love Flawed and I'm for sure team flawed. So many good ideas are in this book. For sure I recommend this book! I'm off to read some more but this time a Kitty Cox only book LOL.
Edit 2024: I felt like rereading Gamer Girls. I really forgot, how long this books are but they are so worth it. I love this series.
One of the great things about this series is that for each book the authors give a list of trigger warnings: discussions of rape and assault, domestic violence, addiction, suicidal tendencies, phobias, bullying, cyber harassment, violence, and more. If I can add to this, give it a bit more specificity... rape & abuse discussions and brief flashbacks, PTSD from rape/abduction/torture, drug & alcohol abuse, talk of attempted suicide, sex addiction
So... welcome to Gamer Girls.
Let me start by saying this book is the first in the series, but it feels more like a prequel to the rest of the series and you don't need to read this one to understand the rest of the series. I mention all this because I believe this is the darkest book in the series yet (I've read #1-#5). This book deals with the aftermath of an abduction and attack while the other books don't. This isn't to say the other books aren't dark and bad things don't happen, but there is a bit more lightness to those books and no one is attacked and tortured like Dez.
Ah, I should probably talk about this book, huh? Okay, so it is dark, trauma is definitely explored here, but damn it is a good book. Reading about their struggles and how they grow to trust one another, how the come back to try actually living is... just thinking about it is threatening tears to fall. It is an addicting read. I don't read many books about woman gamers and even fewer about woman game devs. Dez is a developer, programmer, and all around badass. She is a legend in the making. She's knocked down, she's knocked out, but with the help of a support system and her new family she is coming back even stronger.
Some things I want to note: her trauma and PTSD don't just disappear. Love doesn't conquer all here, so it feels really realistic in that regard. Found family is such a strong theme throughout not just this book, but the series. There are LGBT+ characters in this book and in future books.
Reading this book made me want to go out and take on the world. It is heartbreaking and inspiring.
Edit: change my rating to 5 stars, this book deserves!
So this is a difficult one, The book has a lot of triggers like rape, addiction, suicidal attents, violence to women! This book focus on problems, like bylling, online shaming / stalking and sexism! I dont want to spoile the story ! The h and H relation is trouble, but in some crazy way i understand and like it,
Warming: H has sex with other women and h knows and aprove!
The book has a little technical language, but is alright!
I really loved reading it until 13%. The story was intriguing and the writing style pulled me into the story from page 1. Then I learned about the Hero being a sex addict and meeting with OW and I just couldn't read further. I personally don't like my heroes to be with ow while knowing the Heroine. So it's really just a pet peeve of mine. So therefore no rating.
I nearly stopped reading this book several times - purely because I thought I was more healed from my bad experiences in the games industry than I actually was and so there was a lot of stuff in here that was kind of triggering for me.
For context - I worked in games as a Community Manager for almost five years and saw the best and worst of humanity in that time. I also had my details released to the public and had to lock down all of my social channels as a result. So the threats against the main character? The constant toxic abuse of women in games in general? Yeah that hit way too close to home for me.
This book is well written, and while I can't say reading it was an enjoyable experience, it was quite the ride.
I enjoyed Dez being given the space and time to heal, how supportive the team surrounding her was and how Chance worshipped the ground that she walked on, even when she was at her most broken.
I found this a challenge to finish, but I'm glad that I did. I really enjoyed the team dynamics and I will continue this series at some point, but probably not any time soon.
Easily one of the best stories I've read in years. I'm usually an urban fantasy reader, but this book kept me turning pages. It brings to light all the dark, depressing, but very real issues that hate groups in our society bring to pass. As a gamer girl I have dealt with many of the issues brought up in this book but the books gets my 5 stars because it also shows that good people do exist and even as everyone is flawed, love can still be found.
I don’t know why I waited so long to read this but it has me hooked by the short and curlies now! It hit me hard - I haven’t shed a tear while reading in an age but damn… just, damn.
I received a copy in exchange for an honest review.
Having finished Challenge Accepted and becoming totally entrenched into this fictional gaming world, I couldn't wait to jump back in with Flawed and see how Deviant Games was created. Little did I know that I would meet such kind, intelligent, and beautifully flawed characters. Destiny and Chance are just the tip of the iceberg with these masterminds and I am already eagerly anticipating the next book in the Eternal Combat series. In Challenge Accepted, Auryn Hadley and Kitty Cox drew us into the gamers world with tournaments, strategy, smack talk, and explosive passion between QQ and Void. This time we are drawn more behind the scenes to see the ingenuity between creating a multiplayer game and how women are portrayed within this virtual world. Auryn and Kitty give us another explosive couple to obsess over with Destiny and Chance and show us how our flaws are beautiful and can be something that we can overcome and celebrate. Destiny and Chance are brought together by their love of gaming and their flaws that are on the complete different end of the spectrum. Auryn and Kitty bring a completely different and unique spin to the opposites attract paradigm and have us falling for these characters like none before them.
Destiny Pierce is a childhood prodigy in the world of gaming that had gathered considerable influence and was not afraid to voice her opinion until a group of angry individuals took control of her body and stole her voice. Now she barely exists, having become a shadow of her former self with glazed eyes and terror at the thought of being touched. When she least expects it, her savior comes in the form of a ginger haired hottie who gives her back the respect that her body and intellect deserves. Destiny is by far one of the most moving heroines that I have ever had the opportunity to read about. She had such a dramatic growth throughout the story from devastating, soul crushing grief to empowerment. A reader can't help but be absorbed and moved by her story.
Chance Hunter has mortgaged his life to build a game based off of an idea given to him by a prodigy three years ago that soon after disappeared on the scene. When he comes across a waif, with a body full of ink and scars devoted to the gaming world, he knows that she is the answer to bringing his game “Silk” to reality. Having been invisible during parts of his childhood he is now addicted to touch and feeling human contact in the most physical connection possible. Little did he know that she would be his savior opening up a whole new world full sensual lollipop exchanges and shared coffee mugs. I have never fallen for a ginger haired, muscled hero that has such sexy intelligence and rocks it in the bedroom quite like Chance does...sigh! He is an unforgettable leading man that I plan to visit again and again rereading all the scorching details!
Auryn Hadley and Kitty Cox bring a world to light involving one of the most damaged and beautiful Hero/heroines that I have ever seen. You can't help but love their scars both mental and physical and want to hold their hands and experience everything through their eyes. Flawed was an eye opening, awe inspiring, intricate, and flaming hot love story that is the perfect introduction into the Eternal Combat series. Sexual tensions run high, their chemistry is explosive, and their journey is emotionally profound. All the characters are integral to the story line and have you waiting with undisguised excitement to continue and delve deeper into their leg of the journey. Auryn and Kitty leave clues like bread crumbs along the story to entice and tease the reader that will leave you yearning for the future books in the series. I highly recommend this series to anyone who likes strong women who overcome extreme circumstances with a different kind of alpha man, whose wit, intelligence, and confidence match perfectly.
OK I loved this book, not really a romance I would say. I am a female gamer and I work in technology. This book touches on issues in the industry, real websites, real games (I love Secret World) and looks at what if #gamergate went too far. Doxing is real and the threat to women is real, though I have never heard of a case quite like this.
Now there are a fuck ton of triggers and a lot of people would hate this book and I will list the reasons:
- Sexual assault. - Violence against women. - Touches on issues racism/sexism/homophobia. - Serous issues addictions such as sex and opiates. - Polyamory, the main couple has an open relationship through the first half of the book. - There is voyeurism as a kink. -Sure there is more...
Now I don't really have a problem with what consenting adults do but when they lie and go behind each other's backs well then I get ticked.
Anyways, Dez is a prodigy who is forced unground by a violent abduction. Because of online abuse, just like the kind she receives, which sadly isn't exaggerated no one takes the threats seriously until she goes missing for over 2 weeks. To deal she gets strung out on pills and pretty much wants to die. Chance stubbles on to her and offers her an opportunity to work, no drug test and a place to stay. The book goes from there showing that in varying degrees we all have flaws and with the right tribe and people at your back, we can overcome.
Now to those boy children that tried to chase me off-line, out of video games and dissed me in my 20's working in IT because it was a boy's club? I am making bank now so...
This book tackles some really tough subjects, so if you have triggers, this probably isn’t the best read for you. I picked this one to read because of it being centered around the gaming industry. I’m no gamer, but my kids are and I knew enough to understand some of the technical jargon, but even so, not knowing the rest didn’t bother me at all, I found that side of the story fascinating.
I loved that Deviant Games encompasses all those that were “flawed” in some way or another. They were all a bunch of misfits, who together were harmonious and created an amazing product. I loved that the real brains behind the operation was our heroine. She was so strong, despite everything she had been through, and it was gruesome. Her past had left its scars, both physically and emotionally, but with the right people around her, she flourished. It was a hard journey, but seeing her develop and flourish was great to see. I loved our hero, Chance. Yes he was a sex addict, and it was hard as he got his fixes, but I understood. I loved the way these two helped each other to overcome their own inner demons albeit Dez’s were a lot worse than Chances.
Some people may struggle with Chance, but if you see past his flaws, you’ll see the true gent underneath. Diving into book two now.
"Chance, I'm trying to get sober." "Dez, I'm trying to fall in love."
I stayed up past 1 am on a work week reading this I couldn't put it down!
I wasn't sure at first if I'd like it but It was really good Auryn Hadley is so so so good at creating real tangible characters, it is some serious subject matter which can have a lot of triggers for some people so be aware but it was all done really well and respectfully.
It made me wish I kept up with coding when I was younger, I used to be able to do so much from scratch and then now its like I cant be bothered. Would be so awesome to know all that kind of stuff I am getting more into gaming lately so it did feel a bit personal that way, diving into the next one asap!
So good and so important. Many times in stories where rape or abuse has happened it gets mentioned but gets swept over pretty fast and the abused just gets over it quickly. I really liked that realism of this story and how Dez didn't just get over her issues. This story was really good and the characters so well developed. 5 star read.
I want more of these characters. Dez grows so much during the series and Chance is probably one of my favorite male main characters that I’ve read in a while. Their relationship makes me even happier than the characters themselves do. They accept each other so completely and it’s beautiful.
Only warning...they do have trigger warnings and there are definitely some very serious and possibly triggering topics that are a huge theme of the book. The things listed don’t normally bother me, but at the beginning there is a large chunk of cyber bullying of the type that female gamers experience....lots of threats of rape and murder and the wording is pretty disturbing. I think I only found it so disturbing because it is so realistic. I’ve seen things like that online. I’ve heard people say them in games. People (men really in this case) think it’s okay to say those things. I’m incredibly impressed by the way the book ran with those things, but to me this combines a couple of the triggers listed and I wasn’t really expecting it. Hopefully this helps any readers who may be triggered by this. And if you can make it past that...it’s worth it.
I picked this up because I had just finished reading everything that was out in Hadley's Rise of the Iliri series and loved it. So even though this was not RH, not paranormal, not even the type of thing I usually go for, I thought I'd give it a try. Being a long time gamer girl myself, the premise intrigued me. Plus, I liked the covers :)
And I have to say, I rocked right through both this book and the second in the series. And though they are a series, in the same world, they are standalone novels. You could easily read one without the other, though you would probably miss some of the interconnection and nuances that improve the read.
The MC is very damaged and has had a really rough past, so there is a lot for her to overcome, but I thought it was believably handled. But people with trigger issues, beware!
All in all, I recommend this if you are a gamer. I think you will be pleasantly surprised!
I was so impressed by this book. Everything about it was so raw and real. The message that we are all flawed in some way shape or form, and that's okay, just really hit home. This series feels necessary. I can't wait to see more gamer girls and hopefully witness the justice they'll no doubt bring on the scum who harm them.
The mc is in a bad place when we meet her. She is easy to root for and really want her life to turn around. Chance is damaged too in a different way. There is great depth to the characters and plot. The romance is slow but the sexual tension is hot. I wish the next book was about the same characters because i really enjoyed them.
I enjoyed this book so much!!! The characters were amazing, there was not one trope I hated and the plot was fun. The backstory wasn’t annoying to read, everything was perfection. Haven’t read a good book like this in way too long. This is the type of book that makes you feel and truly amazing themes and message. Love.
My only suggestion to the authors is to put an explanation of all the gaming acronyms that are used in this awesome book for those of us who aren't gamers.
- wants to integrate herself into society - contrast between their two addictions "flaws" - heavy topics such as rape, addiction and misogyny - family feel between the flawed team - i like how braden was kind of set up to be hated but he ended up being dez' biggest cheerleader - i think it leads u to assume that braden would be lumped into the misogynists - they did a great job in showing how misogyny breeds especially in the gaming community and how severe it can get. i really liked the relationship between the flawed team and how they developed a family feel environment. i think we were made to assume that braden is clump in with those misogynists but he ended up being dez's biggest cheerleader that was cute
overall pretty good book but i dont think im reading the rest because i've hit my quota for dark fiction this week