Practice These Principles: Living the Spiritual Disciplines and Virtues in 12-Step Recovery to Achieve Spiritual Growth, Character Development, and Emotion Sobriety – Step 4

by Ray A.

Know Thyself

Why are we the way we are, and why do we do the things we do? These are the fundamental questions we humans have been asking ourselves from the dawn of recorded history. The call to answer them can be traced back over 2,500 years to an injunction inscribed in a Greek temple.

AA’s Step 4 follows in the tradition of self-examination which emerged in response to that call. Borrowing from religion, philosophy, and psychology, it’s the foundation of an inventory process which extends over eight Steps, reaches into every important area of life, and continues for as long as we live. This constitutes the most comprehensive and effective program of self-knowledge and self-transformation that has ever been devised. Though initially meant for alcoholics, it’s available to all who wish to work it.

And therein lies the rub. Step 4 takes a lot of work. In it we are digging into a wide range of experience over a long period of time—the entirety of our past lives, in fact. An inventory of such depth and breadth is a daunting task. It’s easy to get confused, sidetracked, overwhelmed, and discouraged. Many of us procrastinate. Some never get started. Others abandon it early on. But even if we have gone through it once, we have barely begun to scratch the surface.

For various reasons, these first attempts are very limited. That’s why later in sobriety many of us feel the need to try again. Though sober, our recovery may have stalled. Maybe there are serious things about the past we skipped the first time around. Perhaps important issues remain unresolved which are still affecting us today. Or maybe we’ve gotten in trouble again, perhaps even relapsed. In any case, we feel we have to go back and take another hard look at ourselves. And yet, we’re not sure we have the tools we need. We might have 10, 20, or 30 years in the program, but our understanding of Step 4 may not be much better than it was the first time we did it.

This book is for those alcoholics. It’s also for those, alcoholic or not, who wish to change and to grow and who are willing to practice the principles which have helped millions to accomplish that and to live better and happier lives.

502 pages, Paperback

Published July 4, 2021

About the author

Ray A. is a recovering alcoholic who’s been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous since April 26, 1984.

He drank for 25 years and, as with most drunks, alcohol touched every aspect of his life. Early on he earned an undergraduate degree in Romance Languages and a graduate degree in English. As his disease progressed, however, he left a doctoral degree in Comparative Literature unfinished. Alcohol also exacted its toll on his marriage, his family, and a series of promising careers. In midlife, Ray came to AA homeless, alone, and unemployable.

Once in the rooms Ray made progress on many fronts, from personal relations to the establishment of a successful business. By the time of his twelfth sober anniversary, however, he began to suffer an emotional relapse that would worsen over the course of the next six years, result in the collapse of his business, and bring his life crashing down again.

This drawn-out bottom ended in a surrender experience which put Ray on a new path to healing and growth. He was forced to take a hard look at his recovery and find out where things had gone wrong, since he believed he had worked the Steps and done everything the program said to do. In the process, he was also forced to probe into that program and those Steps more deeply than ever.

It was then that he finally began to understand what he had never understood before: the true nature of the principles underlying the 12 Steps and how the practice of those principles can actually bring about the spiritual growth and emotional sobriety that had eluded him all those years and that continues to elude so many recovering alcoholics today.

His progress in this new journey led to the writing of Practice These Principles, a work that reflects his experience as well as years of research into the AA, 12-Step, recovery, and related literature. The first volume discusses Steps 1, 2, and 3 and the second Step 4. Further volumes on the remaining Steps and the 12 Traditions are planned.

The AA Grapevine published Ray’s story in its October 2009 issue under the title “Rebel Without a Cause.”

Reviews

[Lydia Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mother and father were severe alcoholics. I hated the life I lived with them so much I swore I would never drink. When I was in my mid twenties I had a lot of pressure to try drinking a few beers with my now ex-husband. I did and before I knew it I was looking at my mother when I looked in the mirror. I tried quitting several times on my own, but just couldn't stay sober for long. I thought I couldn't have fun without drinking, especially when we went out. I would wake up the next day and not remember anything. I was entertainment for people. Making a fool out of myself. After going to rehab a couple of times I sort of gave up and continued drinking excessively. I finally hit the bottom of the barrel and joined an out patient group that really taught me a lot about myself. I have been sober for fifteen years now and by God's grace I hope to stay sober. Life is a lot more fun without me drinking. No hangovers, wondering what I did the night before and hurting my family. I used to be ashamed to say I don't drink, but now it comes naturally to admit I am an alcoholic and don't drink.

In steps four and five we learned courage and integrity as we faced the truth about our defects of character. Applying these principles in all our affairs means that we are no longer ruled by a fear of admitting our mistakes. We have the integrity to show the world our true selves. Just follows the steps and you will go in the right direction.

Roy A. i really enjoyed your book. I will be reading more of your great and helpful books.