Diddly Squat: ‘Til The Cows Come Home

Diddly Squat #2

by Jeremy Clarkson

Welcome back to Clarkson's farm. At the end of Jeremy's first year, Diddly Squat farm rewarded him with profits of £ 144. And while he's mastered the art of moaning, challenges still abound. Who knew loading a trailer was more demanding than flying a gunship? That cows were more dangerous than motor-racing? Or that it's easier to get planning permission for a nuclear power station than turning an old barn into a restaurant? Life on Clarkson's farm may not always go according to plan. But not a day goes by when Jeremy can't say 'I've done a thing' and mean it...

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Humor, Biography, Nature, Autobiography, Comedy

240 pages, Paperback

First published September 29, 2022

About the author

Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson (born April 11, 1960) is an English broadcaster and writer who specialises in motoring.

He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.

From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.

His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.

As well as the criticism levelled against him, Clarkson also generated a significant following in the public at large, being credited as a factor in the resurgence of Top Gear to the most popular show on BBC Two, and calls for him to be made Prime Minister. Clarkson himself was keen to downplay his perceived influence on the British public, stating he regularly contradicts himself, and would make a "rubbish" Prime Minister.

Reviews

[JD · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like the first book about Diddly Squat, this one is another hit for me. Clarkson continues his attempt at farming and still does not get it quite right, but it seems that he has gotten better and starts to think more like a farmer. As a farmer it is also nice to see that no matter where in the world one farms, we all have loads of the same problems and all of the high hopes to make things work.

This time it is more about cows and his attempt at opening a restaurant on his farm, where he constantly fights all the bureaucratic red tape just to try to make a living. He again highlights the daily struggles of farming and what it takes to grow or rear food for the world. Loving this series of his Sunday Times column writings put into book form and it is a laugh a minute.

Highly recommended to fans of Clarkson, and stay away if his humor offends you as this book probably will.

[MK · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoy Clarkson’s writing, his sense of humor, and the way he highlights important issues. The book was engaging and witty as expected.

However, closer to the end, I felt a bit down when Jeremy mentioned the war in Ukraine. As someone living here, I’m deeply concerned about the global impact, including rising prices and the inability to provide Africa with much-needed wheat in sufficient capacity. Here in Ukraine, prices have also skyrocketed, but we face even graver issues—daily missile and drone attacks, ecological catastrophes, and devastating losses caused by Russia’s unprovoked invasion.

Russia is burning our fields, targeting grain silos, and even killing drivers in combines during harvests. These problems won’t resolve by waiting. While I agree that it’s crucial for Britain to support its farmers, on the global scale, true change will only come when Russia, its allies, and its supporters are stopped.

[Alayne Emmett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! It was just as funny as the first one as well as being interesting. Jeremy tells it so well without making it boring. I laughed out loud a lot whilst I was reading this book. I do hope there is another one after this.

[Steph ✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I truly find these books fascinating and hilarious as well as a very real look into the farming and agriculture industry. love it.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

For my full review, visit me at https://mrsbrownsbooks.wordpress.com/...

This time I have read the book before watching the series. (Although I didn’t have much choice: I was desperate to read on about Clarkson’s Farm and the series has yet to be released at the time.) Once again, I have thoroughly enjoyed this entertaining narrative, feeling like I was learning along the way. I also was really pleased to see the fabulous drawings made a return and this added to the overall, warming atmosphere of the account.

[Cathers · Rating 3 out of 5]

It gets a bit repetitive.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny further adventures of Clarkson being the farmer

[the.bookking · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wielkim niedomówieniem byłoby napisać, że ta lekka książka zapewnia tylko uśmiech. Clarkson wyciąga na światło dzienne problemy, z którymi zmagają się rolnicy. Pokazuje absurdy brytyjskiego systemu prawnego, zabiera głos w sprawie globalnego ocieplenia i cierpienia zwierząt. Wszystko to przez pryzmat człowieka, który usiłuje zgodnie z prawem i humanitarnie produkować żywność. Łatwo bowiem rzucać frazesy o neutralności węglowej czy krzyczeć w obronie wszelkiego życia z perspektywy mównicy, gdzieś w klimatyzowanej auli konferencyjnej.

Często ten głos jest kontrowersyjny, czasem kompletnie się z nim nie zgadzam. Jednego natomiast nie można Clarksonowi odmówić – w angażujący sposób podnosi tematy, które zazwyczaj są zbyt trudne lub zbyt nudne, żeby chciało nam się o nich myśleć.

[Jeanne Adamek · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25 stars

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

As I am what Clarkson would call a ‘liberal leftist’ I’m sure I’m not his target audience. And yet I enjoy his books and TV programmes. He can be pompous and arrogant and sensitive and self-deprecating, often within a single sentence. He has no time for environmentalists and vegetablists, but he’s dedicated large parts of his farmland to wildflowers and bees, maintains hedgerows to provide a haven for birds, thinned woodland to make it ideal for deer, planted hundreds of tree elsewhere, created a lake and stocked it with trout for otters, and he’s an advocate for compassion in farming even when it’s not in his financial interests to do so. And honestly, how many of us can come close to matching that? His absurd hyperbole is just his schtick and not to be taken seriously. Ignore the media brouhaha. You don’t have to ‘love him or loathe him’. It’s possible to just quite like and even admire him.

[Karoli Lust · Rating 5 out of 5]

As good as the first one
Laughed alot and god I hope he doesn’t stop farming

[Mewa]

Okej, z Clarksonem mamy zupełnie inne spojrzenie na świat i nie podobają mi się jego niektóre poglądy (w tej książce chociażby ma się za rolnika ekologicznego, ale od ekologow wie lepiej i ma z dupy wzięte informacje), a jednocześnie wciąż go lubię. To ten rodzaj człowieka, co to został dziennikarzem, ale ma w sobie potencjał na chamskiego stand-upera, który kpi z każdego, nawet siebie. Ale. Jest serio zabawny. Jego pióro jest lekkie, jego wypowiedzi najczęściej wywołują mój uśmiech, jego podejście do życia daje mi odprężenie. Od lat żyjemy w relacji love-hate i bardzo dobre nam razem. Jeśli nie jest to guilty pleasure, to nie wiem, czym to jest.

Podsumowując!
Co do typowych kontrowersji wokół autora: Tym razem Clarkson nie napisał nic o strzelaniu do ludzi, skupił się na chęci mordowania borsuków. Prawie nie wspominał o Niemczech, a za to już w ogóle nie rzucił niczego o Hitlerze. Nie obrażał nikogo problemów natury zdrowia psychicznego. Nie rzucił niczego rasistowskiego, ale za to jego komentarze odnośnie społeczności LGBTQ+ można odczytywać na wiele sposobów. Nie napisał nic o Meghan. Obrażał za to członków Partii Liberalno-Demokratycznej, wegetarian czy ekologów. W ptakach nie widział istot żywych, marzył o mordowaniu borsuków, a poglądy popierał wydumanymi dowodami, z którymi żadna nauka by się nie zgodziła.

Ale co się uśmiałam, to moje, nie?

[Guy Strangways · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, entertaining, light hearted read about his life on the farm and the challenges he has faced since becoming a farmer. Thoroughly enjoyed this from start to finish and looking forward to reading his other books.

[Chloe Evelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5. Just the laugh I needed, light-hearted and easy to read as always.

[Evelyn Evertsen-Romp · Rating 4 out of 5]

I imagine this is even better when you are British and understand more of what this is about. A lot went over my head because I don't know British politics.

[Helene Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an absolutely hilarious and often sobering look at the life of a farmer. The telling of the story over the course of a year is brilliant. It draws you in, and it's almost like you can hear Clarkson telling the story himself through the way it's written.

I love the drawings scattered throughout, at the beginning of each chapter and section. I really enjoyed looking at them as I was reading. It balanced out the writing, humour and serious comments on the state of the farming industry and the government actions. It is slightly worrying about how our planet will look in just a few years or a decade and how much we rely on other countries.

I loved how we got more of Kaleb and how much he despairs of Jeremy actually getting it right. Jeremy Clarkson is a great and engaging writer, managing to self-deprecate and find humour in his own failures, as he did on Top Gear and The Grand Tour as well.

[Thomas · Rating 1 out of 5]

Such a bad book. So, so bad. But this is what i get for reading something I found discarded at an airport.

It’s an incredibly short read, made shorter by the blank pages and drawing dotted between every chapter - chapters which themselves last only 6 pages on average.

The book is essentially a journal, so it both starts and ends incredibly abruptly - like Clarkson both ran out of things to say and also got bored of writing at all.

There are tidbits of interesting knowledge about farming or the law and how it interacts with farmers but this is never selected into, instead the book prefers to go on raging tirades against Greta Thunberg instead. Strange.

Don’t read. The show was good, the book is not.

[Alex Cotterill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just like Diddly Squat 1, this book is exceptional! Jezza writes it in such a perfect way; it is hilarious as he mocks the flaws of the council and other things whilst still providing it serious tone to the reader. He points out the struggles of our British farmers with all the silly council issues.

The small illustrations are ded good when each chapter arrives; nice that Kaleb Cooper and Cheerful Charlie get mentioned quite as bit also. It is just an amazing book, so if, like me, you enjoy agricultural and business/ comedy books, it is a must read. Looking forward to S2 of Clarkson’s farm in Feb.

Next book is Kaleb Cooper’s “The World according to…”

[Mandy Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was as humorous and informative as the first one. Beautiful and funny illustrations again too which are lovely. I think anyone thinking about becoming a farmer should read Jeremy’s books first. I liked that Lisa put a bit of her own chapter in and Kaleb and Charlie featured more. I do find reading about the slaughter of animals difficult but it is a farming book I suppose. I do feel sorry for Jeremy,I didn’t realise how hard the government and local councils make it for farmers. Looking forward to the next programme and hopefully another book.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars!!
Yes knocked half a star off as it just ended. Could have been rounded up or something. Was just an end of convo and done.
But I loved it. It’s hilarious and I can’t wait for season 2 to arrive on Amazon prime.
The things written just keeps you engaged throughout without getting bored and it’s so interesting. There’s a lot of things in this I wouldn’t know.
I hope another book and season keeps coming as it’s great.

[Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy read, very funny and interesting. Puts into perspective how farmers are really struggling and what the future may hold. Great read.

[Raghav Sharma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Problems of farmers narrated in a witty way

[Rebecca Pickering · Rating 3 out of 5]

It got a bit too political and sometimes he repeats the same anecdotes and stories. I enjoyed it but definitely not as much as the first one.

[Shiloah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clarkson mixes self-deprecating humor and rants and farming history with current events. I often was caught giggling while reading these books. Sometimes I’d stop to read my husband some passages. While not quite as funny as the first, I enjoyed it and am looking forward to reading the next one. (I also am going to start watching their show on Amazon prime.)

[Stewart Cotterill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable but not as good as the first one.

[Neb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clarkson ein absolutes Arschloch aber halt leider auch sehr gut als Moderator und Autor

[Martha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the companion book to the TV series, and actually previews it, because it’s the publication of his articles for the Sunday Times. It’s easy to read, because it is meant for newspaper readers to have something interesting and entertaining to accompany their coffee and bagel (or Sunday Lunch). If you’ve watched the show, you know how they really get into the nitty-gritty of animal life; this is relatively free of that, because of the newspaper audience is much wider, and consumes this more casually. There are amusing anecdotes and a little op-ed, too. Reading it now, it’s interesting to see how geopolitical events influence farming, as well as local decisions. He hates Brexit, but I feel like even if they’d stayed in the EU, farming would be having a hard time in Britain, just for different reasons. This is actually the second in the series, and I can’t wait to read the first one.

[Jodie Sheerin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book sooner than planned because I wanted something quick and easy to read, and this was the perfect book. It was enjoyable and made me laugh several times. It’s written so well that I can imagine Jeremy Clarkson saying the things he’s written. I took away one star from my rating because it was quite repetitive. For everyone who knows Jeremy Clarkson, you know that some of the jokes made might not be appreciated by everyone, so this book definitely won’t be to everyone’s tastes. It took me less than 2 hours to read, and I’m glad that I read it when I did. I’m hoping there’s more books to come about Diddly Squat, as they’re very fun to read.

[Megs · Rating 3 out of 5]

LOVED IT!!!
Even though it was about farmers struggles and plant knowledge that readers won’t know much about, he never made it boring. There was the sarcasm throughout the book and you could picture the series whilst reading too!!

I feel like the ending to the first book was better? but maybe because he didn’t expect to make a second book?
IN NEED OF A THIRD BOOK!!
MANIFESTING FOR THAT THIRD SERIES TO HURRY!!
3/5 for me!! ✨
💚💚💚

[Ray O'Hare · Rating 3 out of 5]

As always Jeremy has a unique way of expressing himself, and is very amusing at times, but overall I was left feeling quite depressed after hearing woe after woe specific, but not exclusive to farmers