Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

by Lysa TerKeurst

Relationships are wonderful . . . until they're not.

Join #1 New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst as she helps you stop the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships by showing you biblical ways to set boundaries--and, when necessary, say goodbye--without losing the best of who you are.

Is it unloving or selfish to set a boundary? Are Christians ever called to walk away from a relationship that’s no longer safe or sustainable? Lysa TerKeurst deeply understands these hard questions in the midst of relational struggles.

But after thousands of hours of counseling intensives and extensive theological research that transformed the way she defined healthy relationships, Lysa is now more committed than ever to loving people well without losing the best of who she is. She wants to help you do the same. In these pages Lysa will help you:


Understand the five factors to remember when implementing healthy boundaries.
Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you based on how responsible they'll be with that access.
Stop being misled and emotionally paralyzed by wrongly interpreted or weaponized scriptures that perpetuate unhealthy dynamics in difficult relationships.
Overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting with realistic scripts and practical strategies to help you communicate, keep, and implement healthier patterns.
Be equipped to say goodbye without guilt when a relationship has shifted from difficult to destructive and is no longer sustainable.
Receive therapeutic wisdom you can trust directly from Lysa’s Christian counselor Jim Cress, who weighs in throughout the book.
 

You'll be relieved to learn that boundaries aren't just a good idea, they're a God idea.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Faith, Relationships, Audiobook

272 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2022

About the author

Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the New York Times best-selling author of Univited, The Best Yes, Unglued, Made to Crave, and 18 other books. Her newest book, It’s Not Supposed to be This Way, is scheduled for release in November of 2018. Lysa was recently awarded the Champions of Faith Author Award and has been published in multiple publications such as CNN and Fox News online. Additionally, she has appeared on the Today Show as one of the leading voices in the Christian community.

Each year, Lysa is a featured keynote presenter at more than 40 events across North America, including the Women of Joy Conferences and the Catalyst Leadership Conference. She has a passion for equipping women to share their stories for God's glory through Proverbs 31 Ministries' annual She Speaks Conference and writer training program, COMPEL: Words That Move People.

Connect with Lysa on social media @lysaterkeurst or at http://lysaterkeurst.com/.

Reviews

[Rachel Hanes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way”, by Lysa Terkeurst several years ago, and I have tried to read each new release she has had since. That book spoke to me and touched me more than any other book I have ever read. With this latest release being about boundaries, I knew I better read (and study) this book as well!

“Good Boundaries and Goodbyes” is about learning how to set boundaries for yourself without feeling like a bad person for doing so. TerKeurst also provides scripture verses to back up the fact that we can still be a Christian, and have boundaries in place. I NEEDED this book as I’ve been a people pleaser for most of my life. I just wish that I would have had this book many years ago when I didn’t know any better. I needed to hear, “Someone else being disappointed doesn’t make us a disappointment”. If only I could go back and tell my younger self this…

This book has so many quotes and passages that I have written down. Which brings me to the point of saying that I wish I would have read this book in physical form so that I could highlight and underline everything that spoke to me (which after this review, I am going to purchase this book!).

If you are a fan of Lysa Terkeurst and of self-help books (in this case spiritual), and are in need of setting some boundaries, then I definitely recommend reading this book. I will leave this review with just a few more of my favorite quotes.

“Trauma isn’t something that happens to you. It happens in you.”
“Where there is an abundance of chaos, there is usually a lack of good boundaries.”
And my favorite, “Hallmark movies are unrealistic- life doesn’t tie up in a neat, nice bow”.

[Jordan Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Easily one of the best Christian books I’ve ever read. Lysa Terkeurst continues to stun me with her theological insight and unpacking of often quoted (and misinterpreted) verses in Scripture. Good Boundaries and Goodbyes walks readers through navigating difficult questions like, How do you establish boundaries in relationships? Are boundaries biblical? (Spoiler alert: They are!) How do you know when it’s a difficult relationship vs. a habitually destructive one? When is it appropriate to say goodbye? Is it biblical to say goodbye? (Again, spoiler alert: Yes!)
“Boundaries” seems to be a hot button issue lately in modern psychology, so I was delighted to see Lysa appropriately tackle this through the lens of Scripture. I was moved to tears many times. I can’t recommend this book highly enough for those who need help navigating difficult relationships and overcoming people pleasing.

[Oceana GottaReadEmAll · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is for the people-pleasers or the ones who feel stuck in a relationship.
incredibly relatable and sensitive.
definitely recommend.

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars

I don’t read a ton of ‘self help’ type books, but Lisa TerKeurst does such an amazing job with them. Good Boundaries and Goodbyes was a much needed book for me. As a Christian and a people pleaser, boundaries is something I can have a hard time with. Setting them for people I care about specifically. This was really helpful not only from Lysa’s perspective and story, but the end of each chapter also had a note from her therapist, Jim Cress.

If we want to be a good spouse, friend, co-worker, daughter, sister, or neighbor, it’s not by being another person’s savior.

Audio book source: Libby
Story Rating: 4.25 stars
Narrators: Lysa TerKeurst & Jim Cress
Narration Rating: 4 stars
Genre: Non-fiction
Length: 7h 27m

[Provin Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Christian I find it hard to set rules boundaries and consequences – even if it is to protect myself. Sometimes it seems like the number one goal of Christianity is to bend over backwards and do everything you can for others (even if they are rude, disrespectful, and it interferes with your own life). Thanks to Lisa Terkeurst I have learned boundaries and consequences are a godly structure. God allowed Adam and Eve to live in the garden of Eden with only one boundary. Do not eat the fruit from this specific tree. And when they chose to eat from the tree that God asked them not to, he had to inflict consequences for their actions. Implementing healthy boundaries is hard and stressful. But thanks to this book I have been able to restructure various parts of my life in order to protect myself and live the life I want to. I highly recommend this book if you were having trouble setting boundaries in any relationship. It can help you with children, spouses, parents and friends. With Lysa and the lords help, you can learn about biblical boundaries and see where boundaries in your own life may be beneficial. I also enjoyed the study guide and videos.

[Melanie Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is full of the most wonderful wisdom. A study on boundaries will not be complete without checking this one out. I love the relatable examples that Lysa gives and the heart of compassion that it is written from. A MUST READ!!!

[Janay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend! I went into reading this book unsure of what I would glean, but knowing that I needed to read it. This book offers so many thought provoking sentences and paragraphs. There are so many things to highlight, study along-side the truth of God’s Word, and ponder deeply. I ended my reading feeling more assure of who I am in Christ, and non-apologetic about the boundaries that need to be set in my life for the good of myself and little family as a whole.

What stood out to me is how to set boundaries and be confident it is a godly/Biblical choice instead of fumbling emotionally and mentally because of trying to please everyone in my life. But know that this book has SO much more to glean. It is most definitely a book I will be picking up to read multiple times throughout my life.

Here are a few phrases/sentences that completely altered my state of thinking and helped me further combat the ever life debilitating tendency of people-pleasing that I have struggled with for so long:

“Adults inform. Children explain”

“Boundaries are not just a good thing; they are a God thing.”

“Love can be unconditional but relational access never should be.”

“It’s my responsibility not to let another’s personal actions and expectations wear me down to the worst version of myself.”

“When God is the source of our identity, we are much less prone to others feeding our insecurity.”

[J. Tayler Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

An Impactful Book on Boundaries, But I’m Not the Target Audience

My wife and I are both avid readers, constantly adding new books to our shelves. Whenever my wife adds a new book, I typically add it to my reading list. Recently, my wife added Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa Terkeurst to our shelves, so I naturally added it to my list of books to read. I was surprised to find it so highly rated and decided to read it sooner rather than later. It was my first time reading a book by Terkeurst. It was my first time learning about Terkeurst herself and why she is a well-known author. So, I didn't know what to expect.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes explores how people can have healthier relationships by establishing relational boundaries with their partners, family, and friends. Partway through reading the book, I learned that the author was writing from the experience of her painful divorce. Reading through this lens, I saw how Terkeurst uses the pain from her experience to help people develop more meaningful relationships. Her main message is that proper boundaries help a person discern whether a relationship is helpful or harmful - if harmful, she then discusses the importance of letting go. Through boundaries, a person invites others to choose between loving them by respecting the boundaries or harming them further; those who continue hurting the relationship effectively choose ending it. In Terkeurst’s words, “Boundaries protect the right kind of love and help prevent dysfunction from destroying that love. Boundaries help us say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, and establish what is and isn’t acceptable.” The point of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes is to teach the reader that it is necessary to develop boundaries with one’s closest relationships.

The book consists of twelve chapters, each covering a nuanced thought or concern in establishing boundaries with the people one loves. However, Terkeurst’s writing style tends to create overlap between the subject matter in each chapter, making them hard to distinguish from each other. Nevertheless, a glance at the chapter titles instantly shows the reader what they can expect to learn from this book.

1. You Are Not Crazy (You can love them, but you can’t change them.)
2. Naming the Tension That We’ve All Been Wrestling With
3. It’s Not About the Problems, It’s About What the Problems Represent
4. God Takes Boundary Violations Very Seriously and So Should We
5. You Are Already Doing This Really Well
6. They May Never See Your Boundaries as a Good Thing
7. Just Because They Say It Doesn’t Mean You Have to Own It
8. Trying to Make Someone Else Happy Shouldn’t Be Your Definition of Healthy
9. What Am I So Afraid Of?
10. Can a Goodbye Ever Really Be Good?
11. I’m Not Walking Away, I’m Accepting Reality
12. A Million Little Funerals

Early in the book, Terkeurst writes, “I’ll be with you as we trust God to lead us through every word and every step. And you’ll also hear from my Christian counsellor Jim Cress, who will weigh in with therapeutic insights throughout the book.” The book applies current best practices in therapy and relationship counselling to its subject matter. Additionally, it heavily relies on biblical teachings and narratives to help reinforce each point. Most of the book comes from Terkeurst’s personal experiences, and these outside sources support her main topics. Terkeurst does not present any false information; however, her interpretation of the Christian scriptures is sometimes questionable. (I don’t think it’s fair to say her interpretations are wrong. I only mean that someone could argue for a compelling interpretation that contradicts what Terkeurst sometimes.) Nevertheless, the book seems accurate in what it teaches and encourages the reader to learn.

Sometimes, the book feels as though it was written in haste; however, I also got the sense that a great deal of thought and consideration is behind these pages. From what I understand, only a handful of years have passed since Terkeurst’s traumatic marriage experience and divorce. With this in mind, it seems clear that she did write the book in a short amount of time. Nevertheless, Terkeurst’s thoughts feel well-developed, and her main point is clear. Yet, the details still tend to blend throughout the book. Overall, I finished the book with the impression that the author has valuable insight and experience to offer.

Terkeurst’s book is highly respectful of her faith and people. As a Christian author, Terkeurst constantly finds ways to work-in respect for God; this may turn away some readers, but this is perfectly acceptable for her target audience. Additionally, despite her experience, Terkeurst does not talk about people, spouses, or those who hurt her in a disrespectful way. Instead, she expresses hope that those who cause harm grow and find emotional healing. I came out of this book feeling hopeful for myself and others, and I think most other readers will have a similar experience.

I also got the sense from this book that Terkeurst is here to fight for her readers and their well-being. Early on, she states, “This isn’t a book about leaving people. It’s a book about loving people in the right and healthy ways. And it’s about communicating appropriate boundaries and parameters so that love can stay safe and sustainable.” Terkeurst does suggest that a person leave those who refuse to respect their boundaries, but this is a last resort. But overall, she encourages her readers to see worth in themselves and to fight for their relationships in healthy ways.

Despite the book seemingly being born out of her trauma, Terkeurst does not focus on her situation; she does not discuss any overly personal details, and she avoids painting anyone in a bad light. Instead, Terkeurst comes across like a therapist for whatever the reader is going through in their relationships. Terkeurst focuses on what’s happening inside the reader and helps them work through their experiences in a healthy way.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes is not the kind of book one necessarily goes out of their way to read for entertainment or enjoyment. It is for someone going through a hard time looking for answers. I was not in such a situation while reading it. I went into this book to see what was so significant about it. Simply put, I did not find it enjoyable because it is not designed to be an enjoyable read. Despite this not being the book's goal, others will still find it incredibly helpful.

As a whole, this book is okay. Some readers may find it incredibly empowering, but others - including myself - would get more out of other books on the same topic. I would only recommend this book to its target audience; for all others, I recommend Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, which covers the same material, but from a more logically driven perspective. Terkeurst’s book feels tailored to processing emotions and developing/maintaining close relationships (or letting them go). Cloud and Townsend write in a more instructional manner, first explaining what boundaries are, why they are important, and how they can be used as tools. I do not think Terkeurst is a poor author by any means, but she has a specific target audience in mind as she writes this book, and those outside of that group are less likely to be impacted by her words.

I think Good Boundaries and Goodbyes is a good book, but I do not think it is a great one. However, this is because I am not the target audience, and I am not currently in a place where I am seeking to learn what Terkuerst here is teaching. Most other people who go out of their way to read this book will probably receive far more out of it than I did, which is what I recommend this book to those people. Therefore, in my own experience, I give this book three out of five stars.

[Elise · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just didn't agree with most of what the author wrote.

It's good to have healthy boundaries, but the world takes that to extremes. Jesus is our example. He died for the very people who would betray Him. He died for me. I disappoint Him daily. What if He just cut me off?? Am I really supposed to do that so easily with others?!

God honoring boundaries are important, but so is pouring ourselves out for one another.

Lysa TerKeurst just isn't my favorite author. 🤷‍♀️

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Christians should read it with a strong commitment to their marriage, especially if they are in crisis.
I think the author needed more time for healing before publishing. Her pain skews her advice in my opinion.

[Rebekah Pompey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I find this book provides a realistic perspective to bring into any and all relationships. So helpful and informative, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are is one of the few books I will read again and again. A book containing valuable principles I look forward to putting into practice to improve my relationships.

[Rachel Meyers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know this will not be popular but it has Some dangerous advice and some trite unrealistic solutions that sadly she and evidently her therapist who chimes in throughout falls into the very traps it seems to warn against… it’s mixed in with some good thoughts but as an abuse survivor I am very concerned with a few things in particular…. in her beautiful world where you are in an abusive relationship but have excellent counselors and unusually strong support systems you may be able to please the perfectionist way that she and her therapist lay out responding to an abuser’s abuse. Their advice is Don’t have reactions with emotions or really ever react in your humanity if you do you are guilty of sinning as the abuse victim. She lumps anger in with malice bitterness and downright evil and guilts the person who doesn’t give many repeated chances to continue abuse. You should have perfect boundaries before separating from an abuser and the therapist actually states that if you do it correctly the abuser will see the need for separation. Wow… that advice stinks no matter how many verses you glue around it. It had such potential and if you can stomach being slammed for having reactions to abuse it might have some thoughts worth digging out, but I find enough concerning when abuse is involved that I can’t recommend.

[Faith]

I don't know how to rate this book, so here's my thoughts after having read the first ~70% and skimming the rest.

-First off, I have issue with the subtitle. "Loving others without losing the best of who you are." Mmmm... Sounds good at face value, but something about it bothered me and I only today figured out why—the emphasis on the good in us. I firmly believe there is NO good in any of us apart from Jesus Christ. Our ability to love others well is dependent on Him. Unless I'm missing it, this isn't addressed—or at best is glossed over—in the book.

- A lot of talk about "I," "me," and "we"—not enough about Him.

- Several Bible verses misapplied or completely taken out of context. In comes across like verses were picked to support the author's claims, rather than using God's Word as the standard. Quote from the book that highlights verses being taken out of context and/or misused: "I guess I missed that the golden rule itself is a nod to boundaries. 'Do unto others . . . as you would . . . have them do unto you.' In other words, maybe we shouldn't forget to also have others do unto us as we would unto them." Uhhh... *scratches head* that's... not what that verse means.

- It feels like it's written to a very niche audience (wives struggling to draw boundaries in regard to their repeatedly unfaithful husbands), but marketed to a much broader audience.

- In my opinion, the book could've been much stronger if the author had taken more time with the book. It feels rushed in many ways, including the fact that she's admittedly still dealing with a lot of the things that she's speaking as an expert on.

My view on boundaries in general has changed over the last several months, but this book was not necessarily helpful in that endeavor.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a tough one for me. I appreciated the premise of this book, which was the importance of having good boundaries set in relationships, including in a Christian context. One of my favorite points that TerKeurst made was her thorough discussion about guarding the access that people have to your heart and making sure that their level of access is in proportion to their ability to be trustworthy with that access. She provided many helpful analogies for why this is good practice, such as the fact that you wouldn't give just anyone the keys to your home and if people who you did trust to have the keys were using them in a way that was not intended, you would take them away.

However, most of this book made me continue to think that she was trying to address symptoms of a much deeper problem. She notes multiple relationships throughout the book, both in the distant and recent past, as well as current relationships, that made me question repeatedly how she even let this person become so close to her in the first place or when they began to exhibit problem behaviors, why she didn't take a step back sooner. I don't know much about her (this is the first book of hers that I have read), but it doesn't make sense to me how she has amassed such a collection of people in her close circle who have such significant issues with boundaries without there being a deeper issue there. Every relationship mentioned was a friendship or her husband, so they weren’t even family members, coworkers, or someone else that appeared in her life without a decision being made on her part. I also was slightly uncomfortable with the fact that she coauthored this book with her therapist. It appears that she is receiving ongoing therapy from this man and it felt weird to me that now she was not just his patient, but now also his coworker whose struggles with boundaries he was profiting from.

There were also several concepts/quotes that didn't sit well with me. When discussing people who won't respect boundaries, she stated, "The problem isn't the boundary, it's that the person won't respect the boundary." Are there any instances in which sometimes, maybe, a person's boundary is unreasonable or an overreaction? She also said that if people on the outside think your boundary is too strict, they are the problem, not the boundary. If you have well meaning, loving people in your life that are trying to point out how a boundary you set might be an overreaction or not appropriate for the situation, might it be a good idea to consider what they have to say instead of assuming they're the problem? While I understand that there might be times that personal boundaries need to be set and others might not understand why, I don't understand why the voices of (hopefully) wise and loving counsel wouldn't at least be considered.

Additionally, she assumes that her readers have good intentions and are the ones with the right perspective. All of those people with boundary issues that she mentioned also have access to this book, but in reading it, they would be in line with her teachings to assume that everyone else is the problem, not them.

TerKeurst seemed to elevate the sense of self above most other things, including reality at times. Near the end of the book when she was discussing "Who I am," she went on to list several positive qualities about herself, including being creative, generous, kind, caring, etc. and said that when someone violates her boundaries, she can act "in opposite ways of the woman I really am." She did go on to say that her reaction is up to her, in order to stay true to who she really is, but seemed to have a fundamental misunderstanding of who she actually is, which includes having a sin nature and being in constant need of God's grace because she's still human. All of us say or do things that stand in opposition to qualities we would like to be true of ourselves, but that is because God is the only one who is the embodiment of any good and pure characteristic. If we believe that we can fully identify with any of these qualities and that it represents our "true self," then we would have no need for God and his grace. I found this seeming lack of basic Christian doctrine and understanding to be troubling in what should have been a great opportunity to point readers towards the Gospel.

[Julie Taylor · Rating 2 out of 5]

It took me 6 months to read this book. That alone should tell you a lot.

Lysa’s book reminded me of my college years when I would write papers for classes, be way below the word count, and fill them with fluff to meet the word count minimum. Lysa’s book would have been better as a blog post, not an entire book.

Save yourself 6 months and go read Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Now THAT is an excellent, thought-provoking book on boundaries.

The best parts of each chapter were written by her therapist, Jim Cress. Simply put, Lysa didn’t offer us anything new that hasn’t already been covered in Cloud and Townsend’s Boundaries book.

I listened to this audio, as I usually enjoy hearing Lysa’s inflections and voice. But this audio recording felt fake, what I like to call curated vulnerability. She would insert forced laughter at certain parts that made me cringe. I miss the down to earth, real vibes present in her earlier books. (And if you follow her on social media, you’ll also notice that her posts similarly lack relatability and seem more focused on appearances—the done up face, styled hair, painted nails, and designer clothes don’t do much for me. Just give me Jesus.)

On the bright side, her ending was powerful and brought me to tears. I also enjoyed the section at the end with Scripture verses and how to interpret them in healthy ways. But those nuggets of wisdom weren’t enough to overcome the rest of the book.

It pains me to write this review, as I adore Lysa TerKeurst and have devoured her previous books. But this one just wasn’t it, y’all.

[Chris St Laurent · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has people pleasing tendencies and avoids conflict this book has taught me boundaries are necessary to protect yourself from those who are not responsible and help keep relationships healthy. I flew through this, it is Christian based with appropriate scripture to back it up . Lysa writes this book like you are her friend, the reading is easy though the subject is not.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book. Lysa writes with vulnerable authenticity, and makes you feel like you’re sitting right across from her as she speaks directly to you. There were so many moments in this book I related to and felt seen. It deeply expanded my knowledge on healthy boundaries backed by Scripture. Some of the info I read in nonfiction books is quickly forgotten, but this one will be kept close by because I will be revisiting its pages many times as I apply these practices to my own life.

[Angie Wesp · Rating 2 out of 5]

I believe she wrote this book to try to get over her marriage. There were parts that offered some good info, but overall I could feel her bitter feelings toward her former husband all through the book.

[samantha aly · Rating 5 out of 5]

sometimes, books come to you right when you need them. this was one of those times.

something i've struggled with for most of my life is boundaries. are they ungodly? am i a bad person because i put up boundaries? how do i put p boundaries? this book answers these questions, and so much more. even though i didn't relate to all of the situations she was talking about, there was still so much to take from this. there were actual times i did close the book and actually questioned if this was written directly for me. like word for word.

i HIGHLY recommend this book to Christians no matter their age, or if they're currently struggling with this or not. seriously, go read it.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Boundaries from a Christian perspective, with a lot of Scripture usage and explanation. If that is not your thing, then this book might not resonate with you as much as it did with me.

I admit, I am not in a place where I need this book now. With my ex? Oh yeah. SOOO many times I got angry while listening because I was thinking that what she was talking about was something I needed to hear YEARS ago. I was angry at myself for staying in a situation that wasn't healthy for either party.

I also was kind of cheesed off listening to her talk about her situations. The author had doormat issues, but I am seeing it from the POV of someone who isn't willing to tolerate someone else's drama and might not be as nice as she is when I express that to the offender. Not saying I am perfect, I can offend as well, so I appreciate her niceness and hope I can maybe emulate that and that others will emulate it with me.

However, I see this as being a very good book for some people in my life and will not hesitate to recommend it to them. I may or may not have gotten this book as a Christmas gift for one of them...

I cannot recommend this book enough.

5, we all need to learn and re-learn appropriate boundaries and appropriate ways to communicate them and also to know when to walk, or run, away, stars.

My thanks to libro.fm and Thomas Nelson for an ALC of this book to listen to and review.

[Amy | Foxy Blogs · Rating 4 out of 5]

The people pleaser in me needed to hear this book.

Some factors to help set healthy boundaries:
1) Responsibility-Based Access:
Evaluate and grant personal/emotional access based on the individual's responsibility with that access.

2) Discerning Interpretations:
Avoid being swayed by misinterpreted ideologies, especially in challenging relationships, to prevent perpetuating unhealthy dynamics.

3) Effective Boundary Setting:
Develop practical scripts and strategies for effective communication and implementation of healthier boundaries.

4) Guilt-Free Farewells:
Recognize when relationships become destructive and unsalvageable, allowing yourself to part ways without undue guilt.

5) Trusted Guidance:
Seek therapeutic guidance from reputable sources, like Lysa’s counselor Jim Cress, to support boundary establishment and maintenance.

Audiobook source: Hoopla
Narrator: Lysa TerKeurst & Jim Cress
Length: 7H 24M

[Julie Gentino · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my second time reading this book and I can’t recommend it highly enough if you want to be more emotionally healthy and have healthier relationships. My only critique (which I know is also a positive) is that it’s written to women. I think so many men would find it valuable too.

[Cassie Sparks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read 90+ books this year. But THIS is the book that will change my life. My “word” for this year was boundaries. I slowly but surely worked to set up healthy boundaries in all sorts of areas in my life: family, physical health, and friendships. I was ending this year feeling way healthier mentally than ever before. This book being the “bookend” to my year is so fitting. I was reassured all the work I did this year personally was worth it. I am moving in the right direction to be a better version of not me, but of Jesus! The way Lysa writes about how God set up boundaries gave me the insight I needed to keep pressing on into 2023. To keep setting up boundaries in life and relationships that are going to keep me on the path He has for me.

Just trust me. Read this one. Let it soak into your soul.

[Mandy (Bookishlove85) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lysa's books always make me feel so many things. She has a way of being relatable with her experiences and advice that makes me feel seen/heard and like I could actually get through the things that are discussed in this book. Although the biblical parts no longer apply to me, I loved the foundation what Good Boundaries and Goodbye stood on. My heart broke for her a bit as I read about her divorce, especially after reading the book where she had reconciled with her husband. She has gone through so much. I specifically wanted this to be my last read of January (hence why I took my sweet time reading it) and I am so glad I did. I will need a physical copy of it to go back and reference easily. So many good nuggets and quotes that I really needed to hear and I'm sure I will again in the future.

[Maggie Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow.

[Allie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative, clear, honest!

This provides good perspective and good Next Steps ! 5 stars ! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Lori Hein · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was unfamiliar with Lysa TerKeurst when I happened upon Proverbs 31 Ministries on Facebook and discovered she was about to release a book about setting boundaries and, when necessary, saying goodbye to unsustainable relationships. I thought a book like that might apply to a current difficult relationship for which I was seeking ... something. So, I signed up and received an advance copy.

I often see women post comments to Lysa's posts on Facebook expressing gratitude that her writing touches upon their own direct experiences. Lysa's personal writing style and insight, won through many hard-fought battles she shares as illustrations, make it seem as if she is writing from the heart of the reader. That ability, her evident empathy, and sound Biblical application to put it into perspective and call the reader to ultimately lean on our true source of wisdom and healing are God-given.

I thank God for leading me to Good Boundaries and Goodbyes at this exact time in my life and felt Him speaking to me through Lysa's writing. I'm sure many other women in similar circumstances will feel the same.

This book has been a blessing to me. If you have dealt with or are dealing with difficult relationships due to co-dependency or the tendency to "rescue" others, or for any other reason, let this book be a blessing to you as well.

[Rachelle Cobb · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can’t remember the last time I read a nonfiction book so quickly. Or any book so quickly midweek. Or highlighted a book so many times!

From the depth of her pain, Lysa brings a book so many women will benefit from in the years to come. A biblical, well-written, strong guide to sift through setting boundaries in the most excruciating of circumstances.

[Elizabeth Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is by far, hands-down the absolute, most helpful, practical, and realistic book about healthy boundaries! It’s more like a guide that I will read and re-read many times over. It’s rooted in scripture while remaining approachable and applicable to our actual day-to-day lives and relationships. I’ve read most of Lysa’s books, and while all are good, this one is her best book yet. My heart breaks for what she’s had to go through to acquire this knowledge and wisdom, and although I wish she had been spared the pain and agony of the many betrayals, her hard-earned lessons are a gift to those of us walking similar paths. I believe Lysa was born to write this book.

[Nicole Olson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read!