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Lifehack Series
Lifehack
Author note: The 'AZU-1' edition of Lifehack is Lifehack's first edition. The first, rushed, and sloppily edited edition of my first book. Please skip this one and go to a non-'AZU-1' edition.
~~~~~
Regan's a young lady with the usual problems. Messy breakup, no job, new town, and unrequited love for a lady who's inconveniently straight. Oh, and a legion of walking corpses. -- In the near future, microscopic nanotechnology turns to the biological world. Great minds work together, and grow more excited with every advancement. When the experimental nanotechnology falls into the hands of a man with no purpose but bloodthirsty mischief, a city pays the ultimate price. While the world wonders what happened, no one knows that this may only be the beginning. A debt to a brother, duty to the military, and a feeling of responsibility for one who's been lost, all fuel the need to resolve a crime against humanity that has had the corpses of it's victims wandering dead streets for two years. As the puzzle pieces begin to click, an unwanted love continually gets in the way between the woman who can't stop loving, and the woman who can't accept it. ...and a cruel imagination plots its next step...
~~~~~
Regan's a young lady with the usual problems. Messy breakup, no job, new town, and unrequited love for a lady who's inconveniently straight. Oh, and a legion of walking corpses. -- In the near future, microscopic nanotechnology turns to the biological world. Great minds work together, and grow more excited with every advancement. When the experimental nanotechnology falls into the hands of a man with no purpose but bloodthirsty mischief, a city pays the ultimate price. While the world wonders what happened, no one knows that this may only be the beginning. A debt to a brother, duty to the military, and a feeling of responsibility for one who's been lost, all fuel the need to resolve a crime against humanity that has had the corpses of it's victims wandering dead streets for two years. As the puzzle pieces begin to click, an unwanted love continually gets in the way between the woman who can't stop loving, and the woman who can't accept it. ...and a cruel imagination plots its next step...
296 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2006
17 people are currently reading
120 people want to read
About the author
Joseph Picard
17 books8 followers-Year of hatching: 1976
-Last seen: Lower Mainland, B.C., Canada
-Current level: 43
-Blood type: Red and tangy
-Identifying features: Drives a manual wheelchair fuelled by taurine.
-Do not approach. Suspect won’t shut up, especially if his books come up.
-Known to be easily distracted by polyhedral dice. And crows. And dogs. And kids.
-And the colour 47.
A generally creative type, a lifelong interest in writing became a greater focus when a short story spawned a sequel… and another sequel… and a prequel. Fleshing them out and cleaning them up eventually became his first novel, Lifehack.
While cycling to a computer repair job in 2001, Joseph was struck by a car, resulting in T5/6 paraplegia. Since then, he has married, and had two children, Caitlin and Lachlan.
Later dealing with significant paraplegia-related pressure wounds that resulted in months of hospitalization, Joseph gradually recovered to a healthy paraplegic condition.
Joseph began volunteering at the local seniors’ centre, leading to a job. This position ended less than a year later due to Covid-19. A few months later, Joseph began working for another non-profit organization dealing with community projects and seniors, and a company catering to family services.
Meanwhile, the next story beckons…
-Last seen: Lower Mainland, B.C., Canada
-Current level: 43
-Blood type: Red and tangy
-Identifying features: Drives a manual wheelchair fuelled by taurine.
-Do not approach. Suspect won’t shut up, especially if his books come up.
-Known to be easily distracted by polyhedral dice. And crows. And dogs. And kids.
-And the colour 47.
A generally creative type, a lifelong interest in writing became a greater focus when a short story spawned a sequel… and another sequel… and a prequel. Fleshing them out and cleaning them up eventually became his first novel, Lifehack.
While cycling to a computer repair job in 2001, Joseph was struck by a car, resulting in T5/6 paraplegia. Since then, he has married, and had two children, Caitlin and Lachlan.
Later dealing with significant paraplegia-related pressure wounds that resulted in months of hospitalization, Joseph gradually recovered to a healthy paraplegic condition.
Joseph began volunteering at the local seniors’ centre, leading to a job. This position ended less than a year later due to Covid-19. A few months later, Joseph began working for another non-profit organization dealing with community projects and seniors, and a company catering to family services.
Meanwhile, the next story beckons…
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
September 23, 2019
Okay 1st series!
Started good then the more i read the more frustrating both the plotline and storytelling got...
Started good then the more i read the more frustrating both the plotline and storytelling got...
November 30, 2018
Actual Rating 4.5 Stars
Really cool story and a funny romance too - great main character!
Really cool story and a funny romance too - great main character!
September 18, 2009
Futuristic setting, zombies, and lesbians. What more do you need?
Regan Grier finds herself in a city infested with technologically driven zombies. She survives on her own for years, until Captain Alisia Terone comes to rescue her. Regan then falls for the inconveniantly straight Alisia, which Regan is convinced that Alisia only "thinks" she is straight. Together they hunt for a solution against the ever advancing intellect of the zombies. Hilarious dialogue as Regan will inappropriately hit on Alisia no matter the situation or danger. A quick read that leaves me laughing every time.
Excerpt:
Alisia was having such a nice dream. Of what did she dream? Nothing. No zombies, no nanites, no Regan and Kris making nasty faces at each other in the hall. Nothing. Then, a sound. Wait, was that part of the dream?
She felt a weight press down on the mattress near by. No, the dream was over. A weight came down gently on her hips and as she opened her eyes she saw Regan's hand about to brush her cheek. Regan was straddling her, gazing into her eyes.
"Hey, Alisia, you asleep?"
"No, I always snore while I inspect my eyelids. Get out!" Alisia's voice came cranky, but soft.
"We need to talk." Regan sounded upset and serious.
"Ugh. Do I have a choice?"
"No."
"In that case, what's on your mind?"
"Get rid of Kris, please?" Regan's voice teetered like that of a little girl who'd been crying.
"Is it really that bad?" Alisia slowly had to face the idea that she was now wide awake.
"....please" Regan pleaded, barely audible.
"You can defend yourself from her just fine."
"It's not me I'm worried about- it's you. She'll steal you from me." Regan's eyes focused down where she was tracing little circles on Alisia's night shirt her finger.
"You don't have me, I'm not a lesbian!"
"Yeah...." Regan said concerned, "We need to discuss that, too."
Alisia rolled her eyes. "By the way, I'm much relieved to have woken up with your hand on my face this time." She looked down at Regan's finger wiggling on her abdomen, and moved it aside. "Hey, do you wear those nylons to bed or something?"
"Just when I plan to come visit you in the middle of the night."
"So.. always then."
"Yeah. So.. can you get rid of Kris?"
".... She's doing a good job so far. I have no concrete reason to get rid of her."
Regan considered telling Alisia about Kris and Parker's little encounter. No, it might damage Parker's standing with Alisia, and that wasn't fair. "Fine. I'll.... just promise me.. if you have a change of heart about girls in general... you'll come to me, not her...?"
Alisia rolled her eyes again. "Yeah, whatever. Fine."
"No. Not whatever. I'm serious. If..." Regan's eyes were wide, and welling. She grabbed Alisia's hand.
"Fine." Alisia said, grabbing Regan's hand with both hands, patronizing her in an exaggerated manner. "I will. IF."
Regan seemed very relieved.
"Now can I get to sleep?" Alisia asked bluntly.
"Okay!" Regan flumped down on top of Alisia and began to get cozy.
"Get out!"
It's not very long, but I loved what was there. This is the first time I have tried to review something, so I don't know how and I'm not sure if I actually helped :/
Regan Grier finds herself in a city infested with technologically driven zombies. She survives on her own for years, until Captain Alisia Terone comes to rescue her. Regan then falls for the inconveniantly straight Alisia, which Regan is convinced that Alisia only "thinks" she is straight. Together they hunt for a solution against the ever advancing intellect of the zombies. Hilarious dialogue as Regan will inappropriately hit on Alisia no matter the situation or danger. A quick read that leaves me laughing every time.
Excerpt:
Alisia was having such a nice dream. Of what did she dream? Nothing. No zombies, no nanites, no Regan and Kris making nasty faces at each other in the hall. Nothing. Then, a sound. Wait, was that part of the dream?
She felt a weight press down on the mattress near by. No, the dream was over. A weight came down gently on her hips and as she opened her eyes she saw Regan's hand about to brush her cheek. Regan was straddling her, gazing into her eyes.
"Hey, Alisia, you asleep?"
"No, I always snore while I inspect my eyelids. Get out!" Alisia's voice came cranky, but soft.
"We need to talk." Regan sounded upset and serious.
"Ugh. Do I have a choice?"
"No."
"In that case, what's on your mind?"
"Get rid of Kris, please?" Regan's voice teetered like that of a little girl who'd been crying.
"Is it really that bad?" Alisia slowly had to face the idea that she was now wide awake.
"....please" Regan pleaded, barely audible.
"You can defend yourself from her just fine."
"It's not me I'm worried about- it's you. She'll steal you from me." Regan's eyes focused down where she was tracing little circles on Alisia's night shirt her finger.
"You don't have me, I'm not a lesbian!"
"Yeah...." Regan said concerned, "We need to discuss that, too."
Alisia rolled her eyes. "By the way, I'm much relieved to have woken up with your hand on my face this time." She looked down at Regan's finger wiggling on her abdomen, and moved it aside. "Hey, do you wear those nylons to bed or something?"
"Just when I plan to come visit you in the middle of the night."
"So.. always then."
"Yeah. So.. can you get rid of Kris?"
".... She's doing a good job so far. I have no concrete reason to get rid of her."
Regan considered telling Alisia about Kris and Parker's little encounter. No, it might damage Parker's standing with Alisia, and that wasn't fair. "Fine. I'll.... just promise me.. if you have a change of heart about girls in general... you'll come to me, not her...?"
Alisia rolled her eyes again. "Yeah, whatever. Fine."
"No. Not whatever. I'm serious. If..." Regan's eyes were wide, and welling. She grabbed Alisia's hand.
"Fine." Alisia said, grabbing Regan's hand with both hands, patronizing her in an exaggerated manner. "I will. IF."
Regan seemed very relieved.
"Now can I get to sleep?" Alisia asked bluntly.
"Okay!" Regan flumped down on top of Alisia and began to get cozy.
"Get out!"
It's not very long, but I loved what was there. This is the first time I have tried to review something, so I don't know how and I'm not sure if I actually helped :/
October 15, 2013
Book Info: Genre: Science Fantasy/Lesbian Zombie story
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: fans of zombie stories, looking for something a little different
Trigger Warnings: killing
My Thoughts: This book is really a mixed bag. On the one hand, this book is a man's fantasy about lesbians: hypersexualized, aggressive, and in one case actually bisexual so the man has some action, too. Despite mentioning in the acknowledgments that the book had been re-edited, it was still quite a mess, with (especially) a lot of punctuation errors. On the other hand, there is a lot of funny in here, not to mention a unique take on zombies that a lot of people will probably enjoy. The section where Alicia and Regan take over a couple of zombies had me laughing like a maniac, especially the slap fight.
I really wish I could provide a wholehearted endorsement of this book, because the author is a super nice guy and quite funny to boot, but there were just too many problems to rate the book any higher. However, if you like zombie stories and are looking for something a little different, then check this book out. The sequel is out, and I think there might be a short story available from this universe as well.
Disclosure: I picked this book up during an Amazon KDP promotion. All opinions are my own.
Synopsis: She lost her brother.
She learnt to fight a legion of the dead.
She spent two years alone, scavenging to survive.
Then to make things difficult, she fell in love with a straight girl.
Regan Grier, assumed dead, faces a city of walking corpses in which she struggles to find her brother. Her hopeless efforts meet some unsolicited help after two years.
Enter Captain Alisia Terone. Intent on rescuing Regan from the city, stumbles on an unforeseen hazard: Regan's love.
Regan's problems intertwine with Alisia's as they hunt the source of the technologically driven zombies, and cope with Regan's love for the inconveniently straight Captain.
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: fans of zombie stories, looking for something a little different
Trigger Warnings: killing
My Thoughts: This book is really a mixed bag. On the one hand, this book is a man's fantasy about lesbians: hypersexualized, aggressive, and in one case actually bisexual so the man has some action, too. Despite mentioning in the acknowledgments that the book had been re-edited, it was still quite a mess, with (especially) a lot of punctuation errors. On the other hand, there is a lot of funny in here, not to mention a unique take on zombies that a lot of people will probably enjoy. The section where Alicia and Regan take over a couple of zombies had me laughing like a maniac, especially the slap fight.
I really wish I could provide a wholehearted endorsement of this book, because the author is a super nice guy and quite funny to boot, but there were just too many problems to rate the book any higher. However, if you like zombie stories and are looking for something a little different, then check this book out. The sequel is out, and I think there might be a short story available from this universe as well.
Disclosure: I picked this book up during an Amazon KDP promotion. All opinions are my own.
Synopsis: She lost her brother.
She learnt to fight a legion of the dead.
She spent two years alone, scavenging to survive.
Then to make things difficult, she fell in love with a straight girl.
Regan Grier, assumed dead, faces a city of walking corpses in which she struggles to find her brother. Her hopeless efforts meet some unsolicited help after two years.
Enter Captain Alisia Terone. Intent on rescuing Regan from the city, stumbles on an unforeseen hazard: Regan's love.
Regan's problems intertwine with Alisia's as they hunt the source of the technologically driven zombies, and cope with Regan's love for the inconveniently straight Captain.
américas
October 20, 2024It starts out so well… The setting, charismatic characters, their chemistry, world building. In many way it took clichés and turned into something new.
But what about characters building conectivos through conversation? Why such charisma and build up for a relationship that just gets cold?
When the actual action starts happening, it becomes so confusing I don’t even know how things unfolded.
I wanted to love it. I began loving it, but oh well
But what about characters building conectivos through conversation? Why such charisma and build up for a relationship that just gets cold?
When the actual action starts happening, it becomes so confusing I don’t even know how things unfolded.
I wanted to love it. I began loving it, but oh well
August 26, 2018
A little flawed but interesting nonetheless
Characters are a bit on the caricature side, but the story was interesting and just kept on taking me to places I didn't expect. I spent the whole read curious about what would happen next, and finished the whole book pretty quickly despite not having any particular interest in the genre. A fun read, would recommend.
Characters are a bit on the caricature side, but the story was interesting and just kept on taking me to places I didn't expect. I spent the whole read curious about what would happen next, and finished the whole book pretty quickly despite not having any particular interest in the genre. A fun read, would recommend.
February 26, 2013
Let me first say that, overall, I enjoyed this book, though I do have some mixed feelings about it. More on that later. I shall first say what is good about it.
I could just say that the writing is good, and though true, I must also say that I loved the ambiguity of the setting (I get the impression that this isn't Earth), I loved the occasional Biblical symbolism, I loved the imagery, and I loved the technology present. Though nanites aren't the freshest of sci-fi tropes, Picard still makes them magical, and all the other technology is either scientifically plausible or awe-inspiring, and frequently both. Zombies are pretty done-to-death in this day and age, too, but Picard's zombies can be alternatively funny (they really seem to like lawn flamingoes, for some reason) or disturbing. They never really pull off "intimidating," but that role falls instead to the villain.
With that, I must discuss the characters. The villain is great. He's exactly how I'd expect a HUGE NERD to act upon discovering super powers, while simultaneously coming across as evil and insane from casually causing wanton death and destruction, mostly just because he can. The main characters, however, are the source of my mixed feelings. The main protagonist, Regan, is a lesbian with a huge crush on the other main protagonist, Alisia. Regan survived the first zombie-outbreak, and Alisia is a soldier, the first normal human Regan saw after two years living in the zombie-infested ruins. The problem is, Alisia is straight, and Regan is extremely forward with her advances. So forward, in fact, her advances would probably count as sexual assault.
There were times in this book that I thought the overt sexuality was about as tasteless as one of those Japanese harem animes, but then we'd get a look at some of the motivations behind this, and we see that Regan's not quite right. After losing her brother and living alone amongst zombies for two years, she bears some significant emotional issues. There were scenes involving her emotional frailty that were heartbreaking in their poignance. Over all, I suppose the two extremes kind of balance each other out, but it still gave me a nagging feeling at the back of my head.
One last nitpick: while the pacing is generally good, there were a few slow spots. Particularly, the middle part seemed a bit lacking. That's usually where I'd expect a major disaster, but what we got instead was sort of a minor victory and a really quiet disaster. Oh well. Things would always pick up sufficiently later, making for an over all satisfying read.
I could just say that the writing is good, and though true, I must also say that I loved the ambiguity of the setting (I get the impression that this isn't Earth), I loved the occasional Biblical symbolism, I loved the imagery, and I loved the technology present. Though nanites aren't the freshest of sci-fi tropes, Picard still makes them magical, and all the other technology is either scientifically plausible or awe-inspiring, and frequently both. Zombies are pretty done-to-death in this day and age, too, but Picard's zombies can be alternatively funny (they really seem to like lawn flamingoes, for some reason) or disturbing. They never really pull off "intimidating," but that role falls instead to the villain.
With that, I must discuss the characters. The villain is great. He's exactly how I'd expect a HUGE NERD to act upon discovering super powers, while simultaneously coming across as evil and insane from casually causing wanton death and destruction, mostly just because he can. The main characters, however, are the source of my mixed feelings. The main protagonist, Regan, is a lesbian with a huge crush on the other main protagonist, Alisia. Regan survived the first zombie-outbreak, and Alisia is a soldier, the first normal human Regan saw after two years living in the zombie-infested ruins. The problem is, Alisia is straight, and Regan is extremely forward with her advances. So forward, in fact, her advances would probably count as sexual assault.
There were times in this book that I thought the overt sexuality was about as tasteless as one of those Japanese harem animes, but then we'd get a look at some of the motivations behind this, and we see that Regan's not quite right. After losing her brother and living alone amongst zombies for two years, she bears some significant emotional issues. There were scenes involving her emotional frailty that were heartbreaking in their poignance. Over all, I suppose the two extremes kind of balance each other out, but it still gave me a nagging feeling at the back of my head.
One last nitpick: while the pacing is generally good, there were a few slow spots. Particularly, the middle part seemed a bit lacking. That's usually where I'd expect a major disaster, but what we got instead was sort of a minor victory and a really quiet disaster. Oh well. Things would always pick up sufficiently later, making for an over all satisfying read.
August 10, 2014
On first starting Lifehack, I was inclined to feel a little disappointed - yet another zombie apocalypse, yada yada, I thought, despite the traditional science fiction origin of the zombies rather than the more overdone paranormal. But as the story developed I quickly realised that it was far from 'yet another' anything.
In a world gone crazy, its very existence threatened by a mad scientist, a traumatised young woman and a toughened combat veteran find the seeds of a great love. The development of the love between Regan and Major Terone builds slowly and comes gracefully to fruition just as they save the world. It's a charming and delicate love story, not marred by salaciousness or by over-sentimentalism, and providing a lovely counterpoint to scenes of violent action worthy of an Arnold Schwarzenegeer film.
The characters are well developed, and the different points of view well handled. Picard avoids the trap often seen in science fiction of boring on and on about the technology, and love scenes are handled with grace and restraint. There's a little spice of humour, and all in all Lifehack is a most enjoyable read which will appeal to science fiction afficionados and romance readers alike.
The book comes to a satisfying and definitive conclusion, avoiding the sin of the cliffhanger ending that is all too often perpetrated nowadays, but leaving enough doubt that the way is open for a sequel, and in fact I note with pleasant anticipation that two sequelae exist.
In a world gone crazy, its very existence threatened by a mad scientist, a traumatised young woman and a toughened combat veteran find the seeds of a great love. The development of the love between Regan and Major Terone builds slowly and comes gracefully to fruition just as they save the world. It's a charming and delicate love story, not marred by salaciousness or by over-sentimentalism, and providing a lovely counterpoint to scenes of violent action worthy of an Arnold Schwarzenegeer film.
The characters are well developed, and the different points of view well handled. Picard avoids the trap often seen in science fiction of boring on and on about the technology, and love scenes are handled with grace and restraint. There's a little spice of humour, and all in all Lifehack is a most enjoyable read which will appeal to science fiction afficionados and romance readers alike.
The book comes to a satisfying and definitive conclusion, avoiding the sin of the cliffhanger ending that is all too often perpetrated nowadays, but leaving enough doubt that the way is open for a sequel, and in fact I note with pleasant anticipation that two sequelae exist.
April 3, 2014
Joseph Picard's Lifehack reminds me a little of William Gibson's cyberpunk books. Maybe it's the nanites. Maybe it's the zombies being controlled. Either way, it's a good thing.
For writing quality, I'd give this book a five. It flows well and I only saw one typo.
Story quality was quite enjoyable. I felt pulled to turn the page to see what was coming next.
Characters... Well here I was a little mixed. I enjoyed Regan and Alissia's play back and forth, but it seemed a little over the top. Maybe we missed something in the two years she was alone in Auter. That and the slightly cliched characterization of Kris and Parker... Well, all that being said, it was still a very enjoyable read.
The character issues got downplayed in my head because unlike some books I've read, they don't pull you out of the story.
Bottom line:
If They'd let me, I'd give this a 4 1/2 star. It had its flaws, but they were minor and didn't detract from the story. Since they won't do 1/2 stars, I'll have to reluctantly give it 4 stars.
For writing quality, I'd give this book a five. It flows well and I only saw one typo.
Story quality was quite enjoyable. I felt pulled to turn the page to see what was coming next.
Characters... Well here I was a little mixed. I enjoyed Regan and Alissia's play back and forth, but it seemed a little over the top. Maybe we missed something in the two years she was alone in Auter. That and the slightly cliched characterization of Kris and Parker... Well, all that being said, it was still a very enjoyable read.
The character issues got downplayed in my head because unlike some books I've read, they don't pull you out of the story.
Bottom line:
If They'd let me, I'd give this a 4 1/2 star. It had its flaws, but they were minor and didn't detract from the story. Since they won't do 1/2 stars, I'll have to reluctantly give it 4 stars.
July 25, 2014
3.5 stars.
This is an entertaining read. Actually reminded me a bit of the Resident Evil books I read, except everyone is a little crazier :) I also enjoyed the different zombies, I've not come across zombies created by nanites before - can absolutely see the potential for it to happen, cool!
I will definitely be checking out the other books in this series and would recommend this to folks looking for unique zombies and those who appreciate insanity. Enjoy!
This is an entertaining read. Actually reminded me a bit of the Resident Evil books I read, except everyone is a little crazier :) I also enjoyed the different zombies, I've not come across zombies created by nanites before - can absolutely see the potential for it to happen, cool!
I will definitely be checking out the other books in this series and would recommend this to folks looking for unique zombies and those who appreciate insanity. Enjoy!
March 26, 2015
Loved the beginning and a lot of the concepts. Strongly disliked the character Regan turned out to be. She aggressively pesters her 'crush' despite constantly being told 'no' in no uncertain terms. YUCK.
Characters behave extremely childishly; I suppose this was intended to be humour.
I skimmed the finial 10% just to finish, but was so disappointed in how the characters played out I couldn't justify more than 1.5 stars rounded down for blatant sexual harassment being romanticised.
Characters behave extremely childishly; I suppose this was intended to be humour.
I skimmed the finial 10% just to finish, but was so disappointed in how the characters played out I couldn't justify more than 1.5 stars rounded down for blatant sexual harassment being romanticised.
May 23, 2013
the characters were wonderful. the zombies were fresh, well not to fresh the are zombies after all, the ideas behind them are. I fell in love with the characters, especially Regan and though the series is in the same world build I will miss seeing more of her. Joseph caught me off guard and brightened my zombie shelf with this one.
More in-indepth review coming soon!
More in-indepth review coming soon!
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews