Holding Pattern

by Jenny Xie

A NATIONAL BOOK FOUNDATION "5 UNDER 35" HONOREE

Holding Pattern. Noun.
1. A state of suspended progress.
2. The awkward way your mother tries to hug you now that you live with her. Again.

Kathleen Cheng has blown up her life. She’s gone through a humiliating breakup, dropped out of her graduate program, and left everything behind. Now she’s back in her childhood home in Oakland, wondering what’s next.

To her surprise, her mother isn’t the same person Kathleen remembers. No longer depressed or desperate to return to China, the new Marissa Cheng is sporty, perky, and has been transformed by love. Kathleen thought she’d be planning her own wedding, but instead finds herself helping her mother plan hers—to a Silicon Valley tech entrepreneur.

Grasping for direction, Kathleen takes a job at a start-up that specializes in an unconventional form of therapy based on touch. While she negotiates new ideas about intimacy and connection, an unforeseen attachment to someone at work pushes her to rethink her relationships—especially the one with Marissa. Will they succeed in seeing each other anew, adult to adult?

As they peel back the layers of their history—the old wounds, cultural barriers, and complex affection—they must come to a new understanding of how they can propel each other forward, and what they’ve done to hold each other back. Brilliantly observant, tender, and warm, Holding Pattern is a hopeful novel about immigration and belonging, mother-daughter relationships, and the many ways we learn to hold each other.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Audiobook, Literary Fiction, Romance, Aapi, Adult

288 pages, Hardcover

First published June 20, 2023

Reviews

[Joe Xie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am the father of the author of this novel, so I am naturally biased. As both my wife and I immigrated to the United States at age 26 and learned our English mostly after we arrived, I can't really describe how beautifully the book is written. As the author once said, her novel is a love letter that my wife and I can't read. However, I believe that this is a well-written and engaging novel. The author has a strong voice, and her characters are believable and relatable. The plot is well-paced, and the ending is satisfying.

I have been fortunate to witness the whole journey of this debut novel as the father. It did not start when the author quit her executive editor job 2 years ago at a well-respected magazine to focus on her effort on the novel. It did not start 8 years ago when the author started to work on the story. It did not start when the author went to college and picked the language arts major. It did not start at the summer writing camp the author attended at Stanford University after her high school freshman year. It did not start at the UCI's Fantasy and Fiction Workshop the author went to when she was 9 years old. It started with the very first “love you” note she wrote for Father's Day when she could barely spell her name. I have seen how hard the author has worked towards this book.

I fully believe that this is a promising debut novel. The author has a bright future ahead of her, and I am excited to see what she writes next.

[Mai H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kathleen Cheng is going through some shit. She has gone through a terrible breakup. She dropped out of her graduate program. Her sometimes alcoholic mom is getting remarried. She's a mess. I see from the reviews that some of you didn't vibe with her, but I did. But I'm messy.

Mom Marissa has sort of graduated from her alcohol problem, no longer cries about wanting to return to China, and has honestly met a great man, Brian. One of the opening scenes is the wedding dress try-on, and it's awkward when it's assumed Kathleen is the one getting married.

In a bid to try to get her life together, Kathleen joins Midas Touch, a professional cuddling company. It promises safety and security, but she gets a little too close and personal with one of her clients, who begins showing up everywhere she is. It's scary. It's unnecessary. As a woman, you wonder how being nice to a man is construed.

Not for everyone and definitely ended a bit abruptly, but as this is kind of a slice of life story, I find it works.

rep: Chinese American

tw: drugs, generational trauma, stalking

📱 Thank you to NetGalley and Riverhead Books

[Josh Caporale · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this ARC in a Goodreads giveaway, and it is expected to be released on June 20, 2023.

Holding Pattern feels like a zeroing in on the shallow flaws of its subjects, concentrating on characters that are perfectly flawed, which is some cases prove to be understandable, while in others they are just so unlikable, and they make no effort to being redeemable. Jenny Xie does a decent job touching upon some of the comical aspects to millennial culture and dysfunctional people, but I did not really see it accomplish much as far as character development and progression is concerned.

Kathleen Cheng recently dropped out of her Master's program after a terrible breakup with her boyfriend at the time, Oren. She moves back in with her mother, Marissa, who is getting remarried to a man named Brian. I find the names of Kathleen and Marissa to better reflect the names of each other's generation (i.e. I notice that there are more Generation-Xers named Kathleen, while more millennials are named Marissa), but when approaching it critically, I find it to make sense. Marissa is very self-absorbed and almost incapable of changing. She is very immature. Her fiance, Brian, is surprisingly the more decent of the two, in how he has a decent demeanor and does his best to show genuine interest in Kathleen and in others. Marissa is getting ready for her wedding and her daughter and maid of honor, Kathleen, has to help her out. Meanwhile, Kathleen takes a job with Midas Touch, which is a cuddle therapy service where clients pay to cuddle with trained cuddlers. She also hangs out and goes to parties with her best friend, LB, who is dating Kathleen's ex-boyfriend from high school, Andrew. Then there is their friend Luke, who has a rat named Milo and he is obsessed with marketing him on social media, particularly on Instagram. It is also worth mentioning Kathleen's biological father, who also had plenty of issues and continues to do so.

This is such a dysfunctional group of characters and in many cases their interactions and progress lead to nowhere. In a way, it is an interesting and different twist that there is not much character growth within this piece, but it just got to the point where these characters were so irritating that it was hard to really feel too much sympathy... though you can say that Kathleen always meant well. A character like Brian, though, could have had dimension, but then went back to simply being the subject in which Marissa was going to marry. I found Luke and his obsession with Milo to be more annoying and self-indulgent than I did cute and funny. To me, it went down the path of feeling like a reality show that intentionally incorporates drama in order to rile the viewers. Whew, this was something.

Holding Pattern is entertaining, straightforward, and relatively easy to read, but it is certainly for an acquired taste and readers can be annoyed by its lack of progression. For me, the strongest aspect was how it described cuddle therapy, including the interactions that Kathleen had with clients and how many of the chapters began with a description about different cuddling positions, intending to make them relevant to the chapter at hand.

If you want my call, borrow it at the library or wait to get it at a cheap price. It is not worth buying for full price.

[Val · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

a little too lit fic-y slice of life for me, especially because i was expecting something more witty & observant. i feel like i wanted something bolder from the description & this was quieter, more plodding, wrapped up in mfa-esque prose

i did resonate with a lot of the ideas explored, especially the theme of idealizing a partner & feeling unsure where you end & they begin. i found scenes where kathleen’s was processing her breakup or reflecting on the relationship to be the most relatable passages

her relationship with her mother was incredibly interesting & i liked how the story explored the painfulness of unconditional mother-child love & familial obligation. i didn’t feel like we got to know either of them super well though, so it was tough to feel invested — same with all of the side characters

an interesting plot with lots of layers that i think would really work for someone looking to really grapple with what intimacy means & how hurt people hurt people yet we still love the ones who hurt us, all with the backdrop of a late 20s coming of age story!

[Kristi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Reads as if it were written by an undergraduate (albeit a talented undergrad) – strong millennial sensibility; no real grasp on how the adult characters would act (e.g., a widower would not give the sweater of his dead wife to a young acquaintance!). Author's unnecessary overuse of pretty words is over the top (e.g., rictus, maudlin, ferried, riffled, desiccated, tacky, etc.)… and there are also so many unnecessary adjectives--ughhh. But, PS, her dad's review here on Goodreads is adorably sweet.

[Jenna Laird · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel terrible giving a book two stars but there were so many times I wanted to abandon this book. This book had a lot of potential but I felt like the relationships and the stories were just surface level. I kept waiting for things to get a little deeper but in the end was left waiting for more to be resolved or characters to be developed.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was just an okay read for me. I didn't particularly get invested in the romantic plot line but I liked the mother-daughter relationship dynamics and that the grown daughter was the one helping with her mother's wedding.

The daughter's job as a professional 'cuddler' was quite interesting as well and her involvement with the social media account of a rat was unique too. Good on audio and I'll definitely keep an eye out for what this author writes next after this solid debut.

[Julie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did not finish.

Got about halfway through and realized this book was never going to become what I’d expected it to be. The cover and the publisher’s summary make this seem like it’s going to be a light read — something in the rom-com vein with some family reconciliation thrown in. But it’s much heavier than I anticipated, and much more emotionally stunted, and halfway through there was no romance and no reconciliation and it just wasn’t doing anything for me at all.

[JumbleofJargon · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75 Stars. This review like, much of my life is a mess, so enjoy.

Jenny Xie's Holding Pattern reaches into a few of the nooks and crannies of the "Western Child of Immigrant Parents" theme with the unique experiences of the main character (MC), Kathleen. The MC contends with her absent father, former alcoholic mother, and childhood/adolescent memories that have some how led her to her current mid-late 20's life crisis.

Some immigrant parents don't express affection for their child(ren) through hugs or other appropriate forms of touch common in the West. Xie takes this idea to another level in Holding Pattern by creating a protagonist that literally studies the impact of touch - or more specifically "haptics and cognition" - for her Master's degree.

The immigrant daughter's inability to both understand and repay her parent(s) for the sacrifices they've made to give her the freedoms she takes for granted is a common theme in the novels I've picked up lately. It's a theme I can relate to despite the great geographic expanse between my culture and Kathleen's.

There is a common thread between the children of immigrant parents from China, Korea, India, West Africa and the Carribean who were born in the West. One author coined the term "Two Culture Kids." Which - in case the name isn't clear - denotes special people who have the unique privilege of being rejected by two cultures; you get to be a westerner - or whatever (potentially derogatory) term is used for a white person - in the place your parents call home and a "foreigner" - or more cleverly just plain "weird" - in the country you were born in.

But, I digress; back to Holding Pattern. Although, the MC will likely get on your nerves for one particularly short sighted decision, I still think this is worth reading, because it is one of the few that succeeds in making those "Two Culture Kid" Rejects that had to grow up faster than their peers feel seen.

EXCERPTS I'LL THINK ABOUT FOR A LONG TIME:

"I remembered the fragments she’d told me about her rationed childhood in Shanghai, when she woke hours before dawn to line up for her family’s precious share of rice, pork, eggs, and other scarcities during the end of the Cultural Revolution—including the cloth with which she would learn to sew her own dresses. How she’d clutched the coupon book in her pocket to keep it safe, shivering in the half-light. Things had been even more dire in the countryside, where our relatives shared a single pair of trousers, wearing them in rotation whenever one of them left the house. It never seemed like the right time to ask for more details against these stories of suffering and famine, my mother’s reticence, my shyness, and the mundane needs of the moment always won out." - 4%


"'Do a little twirl,' Greta [the sales associate] urged. I did, then stood facing my mother, plucking at the material. [My mother] raised one hand to her cheek but didn’t say anything.

'You still like the first one.'

'I don’t know how to say. First dress very joyful, so young,' [my mother said].

Greta leaped to my defense, pointing out the dress’s attributes, guiding my body with her fingertips as she turned me and lifted my arms. But the magic was evaporating from the seams as [Greta] spoke, its plumage revealed as rags. I watched my mother tune out, her mind clearly circling the disappointment of the job. [...] I worried that offices might reserve careers for people like Greta instead of people [like my mom] who had emerged from astonishing darkness, that this version of my mother would never shed those vestigial mistakes, would find new ways to punish herself." - 7%


"[...] everyone is so hypercompetitive that I feel like I’m losing sight of why I’m actually there. [...] It also seems inconceivable to walk away. I’d already sunk so much time into it, and there was always the hope that something in me would be reignited." - 9%


" 'How are you doing? Have you talked to Oren [MC's ex-boyfriend] at all?' asked LB. 'No,' I said, 'but we still watch each other’s Instagram Stories.' That morning, he’d posted a video of a squirrel eating a croissant—unremarkable content, but I’d watched it four times, trying to place the park where he’d recorded it, straining to make out what someone was saying in the background. A woman’s voice. 'I know I should stop, but it feels nice to have this tiny peephole into his life. And by nice I mean it’s absolute torture.' " - 9%

"I was only afraid to reach for someone I was scared of losing." - 22%


"What was it like, I wondered, to be suddenly robbed of language and legibility? It felt too intimate to ask, the answer too hard to bear. Plus, the conversation required better Mandarin from me, which was already a step removed from her native Shanghainese. That been the price of her success: Because she’d worked herself ragged to make me an American, we would never truly know each other." - 55%


"For someone who grew up without money, you sure do think you’re above it. But it’s my fault. I made sure you never felt the worst of it. You didn’t see me faint in the morning because I was so hungry. You didn’t see the jewelry I sold.” She chewed her bottom lip. “You don’t know about rigidity. Me, when I was young—we didn’t get to choose our careers. There was a set path, and you either went down that path or died on it. Food, books, music, clothes—everything was controlled. We lived under the [Chinese] government [during the Cultural Revolution], and we did what was best for the family.” - 56%

[Elisabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was most of the way through a lengthy review when my Goodreads app crashed and now I have to start over. Keeping it short this time in case it happens again, as this is not the first time I've had this issue.

First off, I'd give this 2.5 stars but I rounded down because I've given 3 stars to much better books. The book seems (attempts?) to be dedicated more to the characters themselves than to any type of discernible plot. This would be fine, if only the author took the time to fully develop the characters, their relationships to one another, and the impact of those relationships. Instead, the book feels like a bunch of disjointed stories about their pasts and presents that never connect in any truly meaningful way.

The MC narrates in a voice that is inconsistent. Sometimes, she thinks the way she speaks. Other times, there is so much flowery wording that it is honestly jarring to read. Literary devices and imagery are so overused that they detract from the writing rather than adding to the visuals. Just one example before Goodreads crashes again: "We parted the membrane between the heat of the sidewalk and refrigerated commerce." Now, I am not an unintelligent woman. Yet, I had to read that sentence multiple times before realizing that what she actually meant was "We entered the convention center." And while I appreciate the author's desire to show rather than tell us that it was hot outside and cold inside, this sentence was a bit much. And the entire book is filled with sentences just like this. It all just feels overdone and pretentious.

[Kristy · Rating 3 out of 5]

**I read an advanced copy - not a winner through Good Reads**

This is my first read by Jenny Xie so I should probably actually give this book 4 stars. I promise you the 3 stars DOES NOT mean it is terrible. I just personally had a hard time keeping my focus on the story at times. The story itself is relatable. Kathleen is just out of a break up and honestly didn't have the easiest childhood growing up. Not that her mother was terrible nor was her father but she had to deal with the struggles her mother went through along with finding oneself. We have all had moments where we didn't feel good or enough, felt like we can't do anything right or that we can never live up to our parents expectations of us. That is one reason this book does deserve a few more stars. Especially because the story is told through a family who came to the US as Immigrants and had to find there place in an already crazy and high expectation of a society.
I did scroll through some parts. Only because some parts caught your attention (especially chapters that focused on Kathleen and her moms relationship). Other parts kind of lost me and then many others had me laughing out loud.
I would definitely read another by this author and I did at the end of the day enjoy the story.I am glad I got my hands on an advanced copy!

[Christy Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was odd timing that I read this right after “Cult Classic” as the protagonist of this book also finds herself mixed up with a wellness start up, this one delivering the service of cuddles for ppl who are starved for touch. This is a gentle but quirky story about mother and daughter relationships, finding yourself in a stuck season in life, and what it actually means to connect with someone else.

[Tanvi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved her writing style and was moved by the immigrant mother-daughter relationship in this book.

[Judith · Rating 2 out of 5]

In this story, a woman trying to decide if she wants to continue her post-graduate studies after a bad break-up, gets a job as a professional cuddler. Sigh! Only in California. She feels quite comfortable cuddling up with strangers: spooning, running her fingers through their hair, patting their backs, massaging their shoulders, laying her head in their laps or vice versa for the designated time in the designated place. When one of her clients asks her to wear his dead wife's sweater, she readily agrees and wears it, not only when she's hugging him but also on her partying nights with her friends. Otherwise, it's all very professional until it's not. But isn't that the problem with a professional hug? What good is a hug without the requisite feeling attached to it?

The sub plot is the heroine's complicated love/hate relationship with her mother who is enjoying a rebirth from an alcoholic to a sporty health-nut soon to be married to a man of charm and wealth. Mom insists her daughter plan the bachelorette party which includes a trip to Vegas. When her hugger client offers to get rooms for them at the Venetian, the daughter gratefully accepts. She is then horrified when she realizes the hugger expects they are in some kind of relationship. Where did he get that idea?!

[Karen Nguyen · Rating 1 out of 5]

there was potential!!! it explored a complicated relationship and topics between an immigrant mother and her american-raised daughter which i feel like sometimes it’s hard to understand and articulate. the way the book was actually written felt like a puff piece instead of getting to the point and the ending was so abrupt?

[Beth Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like this had the potential for a 4 or 5 for me, but I struggled with the lack of plot (did anything actually happen in this book?!) and connecting with the millennial MC (definitely felt the Gen X in my cusp status).

[Cheryl · Rating 1 out of 5]

I liked the characters- a mother and daughter struggling to connect and get along, but what a weird plot.

[Beau Pennington · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the writing and it was a fun read. The professional cuddler and rat influencer aspects of the story was so peculiar. I had hoped for more of a deeper and emotional story and it feels as if it ends abruptly. However I enjoyed the characters and it’s a nice story.

[Helen | readwithneleh · Rating 3 out of 5]

HOLDING PATTERN is such a fitting title for this book. Two women, mother and daughter, are reunited only to find each other changed and different. Kathleen, dumped by her long-time boyfriend and questioning her future in her graduate program, is lost and looking for next move in Oakland, her hometown. Her mother Marissa, on the other hand, who is two years sober and newly engaged, is perky and loving life. And as they discover and process each other, they find themselves in a holding pattern—reverting back to the last time they shared a roof together; Kathleen a teen full of angst about her alcoholic mother, and Marissa a single mother full of grief and anger from her divorce and the hard immigrant life.

This “holding pattern”, the roles that we play, is what stood out to me the most. Even when children grow up to be adults, they seem to always return to their former young self in front of their parents. And that is captured with brutal honesty in Kathleen. Even with a changed Marissa, Kathleen’s response was one from her teenage-self, exasperated and desperate, quick to defend herself from the judgements of her mother. To be fair, as changed as Marissa was (being alcohol-free, exercising, basically being your Bay Area granola), her ways of mothering still remained toxic, quick to judge and compare. But as I learned more about the two women, who I both found incredibly irritating, I began to understand. And through that understanding, I began to empathize.

However, as soon as I started to understand, to empathize, I was met with an abrupt ending. I wasn’t expecting a full resolution, but I wanted more time with each women as they came to the awareness of their new changed relationship, flawed but enduring. I also wanted a deeper exploration Into Marissa’s story, which would’ve added more context to her behavior that ultimately impacted and shaped Kathleen’s POV.

I find myself reaching for mother-daughter stories more and more. And, this one was a different take on the traditional Asian mother-daughter trope. For that, I’m glad I read it. Although the last impression wasn’t as strong as I’d hope it would be, this author is one that I’ll be keeping my eye out for.

[Gerry Jun · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a story about a mother-daughter relationship among Chinese immigrants in the U.S. Rather than a story about children/adults having to cope with demanding traditional parents, this is a story of a mother who has broken the stereotype for immigrant parents and found a new and modern way of life.

Kathleen disappointed her divorced mom Marissa after dropping out of her academic program in psychology and returning home to Oakland, Ca. But Kathleen is surprised to find a new Marissa - her weepy and formerly dependent mother has changed outlook and lifestyle, becoming trendy, fit, and modern and about to be married to a tech entrepreneur, Brian Lin.

The novel has two themes : Kathleen trying to find her own way with her interest in touch therapy and cuddle clinics, and her mother having a renewed interest in life with a new partner. This story surprised me as it deviates from the traditional daughter-mom pattern of immigrant Asian parent-child relationships.

I liked the new Marissa, the mom, who is, however, still concerned about her undecided daughter and tries to help her back This is a story about a mother-daughter relationship among Chinese immigrants in the U.S. Rather than a story about immigrant children/adults having to cope with demanding traditional parents, this is a story of a mother/parent who has broken the norm or stereotype and found a new way of living.

Kathleen has disappointed her divorced mom Marissa after she drops out of her academic program in psychology and returns home to Oakland, Ca. But Kathleen finds a new Marissa; her mother has changed her outlook and lifestyle, becoming trendy and modern and about to be married to a tech entrepreneur, Brian Lin.

The novel has two themes : Kathleen trying to find her own way with her interest in touch therapy and cuddle clinics, and her mother having a renewed interest in modern living and a new partner. This story surprised me as it deviates from the traditional daughter-mom pattern of Asian parent-child relationships.

I liked the new Marissa, the mom, who is still concerned about her undecided daughter and tries to help her back to a more constructive future.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and PENGUIN GROUP Riverhead for the copy of Holding Pattern by Jenny Xie. I loved the idea of this book - exploring a mother-daughter relationship as the mother is getting remarried while the daughter is suddenly single. The book shines when we see the relationship between Marissa and Kathleen both when Kathleen was a child and in the present. The parts that were just about Kathleen’s life felt less honest and were not as compelling. The start up where she worked had kind of a yucky (and implausible) mission so I skimmed over those parts.
I wish the book had delved more into Marissa’s story and her status as an immigrant instead of us just seeing that her English wasn’t perfect.
This isn’t a bad book and I can see why some people will love the story and Kathleen's exploits. I just expected a more complex story.

[Brittany · Rating 2 out of 5]

this was really frustrating to read. i had high expectations given the synopsis but it felt like the writing was trying too hard, like the lit fic-esque detachedness combined with the clunkiness of undergrad creative writing. unfortunately, this narrative didn't do much to push forward what's already been said on immigrant parent-child relationships. while there are original (albeit weird) concepts explored, they would have been bolstered with more character development for additional context. because of this, i wondered which audience this book was meant for: yt people who think they know what it's like to grow up in an asian household, or first-gen children of immigrants who are trying to figure things out. regardless, i don't know how a rat influencer subplot fits into the mix.

tldr: like delia cai's central places, another book i was excited to read but strongly disliked.

[vi_reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

A bit more slice-of-life style than I was anticipating, but I liked it overall.

Additionally, I thought it was nice that there was no giant fight or grand ending declaration that somehow resolves every issue Kathleen and her mother have ever had and smooths over all the emotional damage they've done to each other throughout the years--that wouldn't be realistic at all. The book ends on a small, yet hopeful, note, and I really appreciated that.

[Carrie · Rating 2 out of 5]

The inside cover of this book indicates that some of the chapters had previously been published as short stories.

That’s what this book feels like, a bunch of loosely linked already-published stories with some filler chapters in between.

The author is definitely talented, but the stories and characters did not hold my interest.

[Lizzie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oy vey this one got returned to the library partway through and the HOOPS I had to jump through to check it out again!!!!!! (had to speak with someone on the phone) Um I enjoyed this audiobook but not ALL of the story. I know it was necessary for the full-bodied story but I just didn't get involved in the scenes about Orin. I loved the introductory irony/idea of Kathleen expecting she was going to be proposed to, only to get broken up with, only to immediately get a call from her divorced Mom that she had just been proposed to and wants Kathleen to be the maid of honor.

I wish the holding pattern stuff about cuddling and about the necessity of human touch to emotion development had been more directly drawn in to the mother-daughter relationship -- I was really expecting that to be a major tenet of the story but it didn't really get Explored at all -- only mentioned.

I was glad to listen to this as an audiobook especially in the bridal-party scenes with the mom and her friends because I could listen to the musicality of the Shanghainese and Mandarin words instead of the flatness with which I would read them silently. I liked the narrator's narrating voice, but she tried to do voices for the other characters and I think she probably um... could have kept that to a minimum. The narrator seems limited in terms of the # of character voices she can do, so when I hear the exact same snooty girl voice for like, every single female character, it started to get confusing, because I expect the same character voice to be used for the same character.

I famously hate books that are about characters quitting grad school and then deciding to return to grad school, or even then deciding not to return to grad school. I don't want to see grad school (and doubts thereupon) appear in any more fiction books unless it's actually relevant to the story and not just a boring write-what-you-know decision. HOWEVER, despite the should-I-go-back-to-grad-school-ness of it all, I really liked the final conversation between Kathleen and her mom, when her mom is telling her daughter that she's amazing at caring for people and will one day know what to do with that skill, and that all the times Kathleen took care of her didn't go unnoticed and unappreciated. That was great. But almost every other storyline aspect was more like -- huh? wuh? Probably because it was an audiobook I've never read before and I'm not the best at active listening. (and took an extended intermission 2/3rds through)

This book opened with potential, grew that potential, and only closed the biggest storyline (2nd, if unlike me the reader was more interested in the romance/Orin of it all). The author promised a little beyond her abilities (or working timeline, maybe she just didn't have enough time to rewrite and polish) in my opinion, but I liked it enough that I would read another fiction book by her. Maybe I'll look if she has some different-genre short fiction out there, because I did like the prose but not the entirety of the book-length product.

[Jamie Hood · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m sorry, I can’t finish it. I got to 57%, so I’m counting it as read since I was over halfway. That lowkey feels like “cheating,” but I dedicated a lot of time reading this book, and it sucks.

Being a professional cuddler is a creepy job. The main character is annoying. Phil is twice her age. Her mom sucks. There’s not really a plot? Also when she said her run took her past the Mormon temple in Oakland, that was so random lol. (I’ve never seen someone mention the temple as a simple landmark, but it felt so random lol.)

The author’s dad’s review for this book on Goodreads is better than this book.

The only reason I started this book was because I needed an author who started with X lol.

[Susannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

WOW! I tore thru that one so fast! A very good read! So well written and just a beautiful story about mother daughter relationships. Along with some other stuffs too. Kinda gave me “Joy Luck Club” vibes? But that might have just been the Chinese family in California aspect of it. And the mother daughter tension, of course. Very good either way 😀

[Yvette · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 rounded up, an enjoyable read ~ this would be a good movie I think 🤔. my phd studies in asian american girl going through something continue…..

[Emily Atzenhoefer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Contemporary fiction definitely isn't for me. So bored.

[Michaela · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️