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This Doesn't Mean Anything
Spencer’s first semester at Ravens College is going surprisingly well. For starters, she actually likes her roommate and soon finds herself settling into a routine of eating all her meals with the same two people, studying in the library with Nick - an upperclassman she finds only a little insufferable, and hanging out at the local coffee shop.
Her new environment also means she’s trying new things - like Tinder dating. But Spencer can’t figure out why the idea of sex makes her want to run for the hills. That is, until she comes across the word “asexual,” and for the first time, she doesn’t feel so alone.
As Spencer and Nick begin to spend more time together, she realizes she doesn’t feel any panic or revulsion when they touch, and wonders if that means there’s hope for a fulfilling, loving relationship without sex.
But despite reciprocating her feelings, Nick has reservations of his own, leaving Spencer to wonder if the risk is worth it.
Her new environment also means she’s trying new things - like Tinder dating. But Spencer can’t figure out why the idea of sex makes her want to run for the hills. That is, until she comes across the word “asexual,” and for the first time, she doesn’t feel so alone.
As Spencer and Nick begin to spend more time together, she realizes she doesn’t feel any panic or revulsion when they touch, and wonders if that means there’s hope for a fulfilling, loving relationship without sex.
But despite reciprocating her feelings, Nick has reservations of his own, leaving Spencer to wonder if the risk is worth it.
469 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 13, 2022
16 people are currently reading
1197 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
February 23, 2023
i wanted to love this book because i’m ace and i love ace rep, and although there are some nice moments, overall this book made me feel really icky. i really disliked how obsessively protective the male characters were. there is a way of writing chivalry without it sounding like “i’m going to take care of you because i’m a Manly Man and you’re a girl who needs my help and don’t you dare refuse because i don’t give a fuck about your opinion,” which is what this book felt like.
also all the characters were so mean to each other. why are you guys even friends.
also all the characters were so mean to each other. why are you guys even friends.
January 9, 2023
I hate how much I ended up hating this book. There was so much potential here and honestly some amazing characters at the heart of the story. But there was so much unaddressed and inexcusable toxic behaviour. Some weird, infantalizing, misogynistic undertones. Bad pacing, too long, very repetitive and immature writing. It was a terrible love story in that the main romance didn’t take off until repeated sexual assault scenes pushed the main characters together into hurt/comfort. Being an asexual romance girly myself, I am so disappointed :(
If any of this book reflects real life experiences of the author, that is a-ok and I totally respect that. But just not for me, and not something I will be recommending to others.
If any of this book reflects real life experiences of the author, that is a-ok and I totally respect that. But just not for me, and not something I will be recommending to others.
November 3, 2022
haven't read this book yet but someone decided to rate it 1 star even tho they haven't read it yet AS STATED in their review
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January 2, 2023I think this book just wasn‘t for me, thats why I will not give it any star rating. While the respresentation of asexuality and the writing style of the author were really good, I sadly struggled with everything else in this book. I think that is mainly because I personally could not get a grasp, connection or relate to any of the characters and their relationships and I also imagined the plot to be quite different, while reading the tropes this book offers.
So sadly not a book for me per se, but I am glad that its here and getting good asexual representation out in the world 😊
So sadly not a book for me per se, but I am glad that its here and getting good asexual representation out in the world 😊
February 27, 2023
That’s it. This is the worst book I’ve read in 2023 so far, and I have read the last book in the Magisterium series this year. To make things worse, this was one of my most anticipated reads of the month, so it makes it the biggest disappointment of February as well.
I honestly don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll just say that sometimes books *do* need professional editing, because otherwise you’ll end up with a 450+ pages book in which literally nothing happens, and whenever something does happen, it feels like it’s written by a middle schooler trying out creative writing for the first time ever, I am sorry.
I hated every single thing about this book, but the characters were the worse of it. They had no personality whatsoever, not even Spencer and Nick, who are supposed to be the leads. You cannot have all the characters be mean at each other and call that character building, that’s not how it works. Also, what the author made the characters say in dialogue and what she made them do was not coherent. For example, Spencer is constantly falling asleep and she said that she is insomniac. What kind of insomniacs do you know, ffs?
I also hated that Spencer’s only personality trait was being an asshole to everyone and snapping (if I had to read the word snapped one more time, I swear to god), but the times in which other characters snapped at her, she would get all bitchy about it. That’s not how it works, dear. If you are an asshole and treat other people like shit, you have it coming.
Also, can we please have a discussion on how to write caring men that do not end up being patronising? Because, if the intent was to make the positive male characters feel protective and attentive, it did not work. They were awful and if I had someone like them in my life, I would slap them repeatedly in the face until they understood how to behave around me.
Not only were the characters awful, but the plot was non existent. I had to read the same thing happening like fifty times in the span of 250 pages before something useful actually took place, and even then it was just petty drama and boring scenes. How can you write a “movie night” scenes like ten times in fifty pages and think that’s okay? The only relevant thing that happened was badly written, so I really don’t know what to think, honestly.
I guess, skip this paragraph if you dont want “spoilers”, but I have to tell you this: if you don’t know how to write sexual assault scenes and their aftermath, please refrain from doing so, because you’ll do more harm than good. If these things reflect the experience of the author, I do respect it, of course, but experiencing something doesn’t mean you are automatically able to write it down in a good way. Anyways, moving on.
The writing style was atrocious. Really. I don’t want to be mean, but it was truly awful and I wish I could have my time back. It was extremely repetitive, both in what actually happened and how it was written. There were sentences and turn of phrases that were repeated so many times I wanted to scream and set myself on fire. I am being dramatic, but this book really made me angry on so many levels, I cannot even put everything into words.
I think I am going to wrap this up real quick, before I become mean. I do not recommend this book, even if the asexual rep was okay. It’s not enough to put any of you through the hell that was this book. I am looking out for you, no need to thank me. There are many other books with decent to awesome ace rep to spend your money and time with.
I honestly don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll just say that sometimes books *do* need professional editing, because otherwise you’ll end up with a 450+ pages book in which literally nothing happens, and whenever something does happen, it feels like it’s written by a middle schooler trying out creative writing for the first time ever, I am sorry.
I hated every single thing about this book, but the characters were the worse of it. They had no personality whatsoever, not even Spencer and Nick, who are supposed to be the leads. You cannot have all the characters be mean at each other and call that character building, that’s not how it works. Also, what the author made the characters say in dialogue and what she made them do was not coherent. For example, Spencer is constantly falling asleep and she said that she is insomniac. What kind of insomniacs do you know, ffs?
I also hated that Spencer’s only personality trait was being an asshole to everyone and snapping (if I had to read the word snapped one more time, I swear to god), but the times in which other characters snapped at her, she would get all bitchy about it. That’s not how it works, dear. If you are an asshole and treat other people like shit, you have it coming.
Also, can we please have a discussion on how to write caring men that do not end up being patronising? Because, if the intent was to make the positive male characters feel protective and attentive, it did not work. They were awful and if I had someone like them in my life, I would slap them repeatedly in the face until they understood how to behave around me.
Not only were the characters awful, but the plot was non existent. I had to read the same thing happening like fifty times in the span of 250 pages before something useful actually took place, and even then it was just petty drama and boring scenes. How can you write a “movie night” scenes like ten times in fifty pages and think that’s okay? The only relevant thing that happened was badly written, so I really don’t know what to think, honestly.
I guess, skip this paragraph if you dont want “spoilers”, but I have to tell you this: if you don’t know how to write sexual assault scenes and their aftermath, please refrain from doing so, because you’ll do more harm than good. If these things reflect the experience of the author, I do respect it, of course, but experiencing something doesn’t mean you are automatically able to write it down in a good way. Anyways, moving on.
The writing style was atrocious. Really. I don’t want to be mean, but it was truly awful and I wish I could have my time back. It was extremely repetitive, both in what actually happened and how it was written. There were sentences and turn of phrases that were repeated so many times I wanted to scream and set myself on fire. I am being dramatic, but this book really made me angry on so many levels, I cannot even put everything into words.
I think I am going to wrap this up real quick, before I become mean. I do not recommend this book, even if the asexual rep was okay. It’s not enough to put any of you through the hell that was this book. I am looking out for you, no need to thank me. There are many other books with decent to awesome ace rep to spend your money and time with.
October 30, 2022
I was lucky enough to read the ACR. I love this book. excellent asexual representation (I am asexual too). A celebration of platonic friendships. Great ending.
January 22, 2023
I did not enjoy this as much as I hoped :( it had too many flaws for me to love it but it wasn't all bad
pros:
- ace mc, love the rep
- golden retriever bi mc, adorable
- the relationship between the mcs (platonic at first) was cute - until like, halfway through the book?
cons:
- too fucking long. 470 pages were not necessary to tell this story
- drama for the sake of drama
- the writing is not great
- some parts/plotlines were too rushed and others went on for too long
- the mcs were cute until about halfway through the book, when drama happens and it just seemed unnecessary and exaggerated, and it felt like the characters' actions didn't match their personalities? (re: drama for the sake of drama)
I don't regret reading this book, and I don't hate it, but it disappointed me and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it
pros:
- ace mc, love the rep
- golden retriever bi mc, adorable
- the relationship between the mcs (platonic at first) was cute - until like, halfway through the book?
cons:
- too fucking long. 470 pages were not necessary to tell this story
- drama for the sake of drama
- the writing is not great
- some parts/plotlines were too rushed and others went on for too long
- the mcs were cute until about halfway through the book, when drama happens and it just seemed unnecessary and exaggerated, and it felt like the characters' actions didn't match their personalities? (re: drama for the sake of drama)
I don't regret reading this book, and I don't hate it, but it disappointed me and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it
December 20, 2022
Actual rating: 4.75
Some sentences were a little repetitive and for the most part in the first half it feels like we see the same scenes (in the library or at the coffe shop) over and over, but despite that it never felt boring.
That good old angst really got me in the second half (I cried in the train on my way back to uni).
Some sentences were a little repetitive and for the most part in the first half it feels like we see the same scenes (in the library or at the coffe shop) over and over, but despite that it never felt boring.
That good old angst really got me in the second half (I cried in the train on my way back to uni).
December 31, 2022
One of my favorite books I’ve read this year not biased because the author is a friend and I read this as an arc and beta read. I can’t wait to read it again . I went into this knowing next to nothing about what it’s like being asexual but came out of it loving this story and wanting so much more from everyone. For a debut novel this one knocks it out of the park. I can’t wait to read more from her !
November 8, 2022
Just read the first two chapters and I’m already in love with it! Spencer is an easy character to like and I’m curious to learn more about her, her relationship with her mother, and her past. The story is easy to get into and I can’t wait to continue reading it!
November 7, 2022
Wow! This book is an amazing read! I love the LGBTQ+ representation. The author writes so beautifully, can't wait to read more from them!
November 7, 2022
Great book!!
November 7, 2022
This sounds like a witty novel of blooming love..
Excited to see how the Character of Nick develops!!
Excited to see how the Character of Nick develops!!
January 16, 2023
Let me preface with - I wanted to like this book so much. The concept, the representation, the potential…. And it just fell short for me.
Some good things first;
🤍 friends to lovers
🤍 found family in friends
The main character, Spencer, is beginning her first year at university. She deals with a dysfunctional relationship with her mom, a dad that is MIA, and keeps to herself as much as she can.
Fast forward a bit and she meets Nick, the lovable male MC who is overprotective of everyone he meets. They become friends slowly, and you can see where the relationship is going (albeit very slowly.)
Things I didn’t like;
🖤 almost childish behavior from the characters? Yes we’re in college but the toddler level communication is annoying. Please all involved parties get some therapy.
🖤 the plot was minimal (which is fine!) but suddenly in the last %25 of the book everyone’s relationships implode due to drinking to avoid trauma? After them all having very strict “no drinking” policies or a very strong intolerance to drinking. It felt very… panicked “I need a problem to solve” to fit the narrative. I wish the problem would have continued to be Nick and Spencer navigating through their complex feelings and already complex relationships rather than adding in more trauma that was ultimately addressed in an unrealistic way. **spoiler** Many SA survivors do not magically move on because their assailant gets assaulted. Most parents don’t experience magical self realization because their child is t on speaking terms with them. We just had so much else going on. These two events felt disingenuous…
Overall the writing was nice. It was a cozy book. I wish the author would have just focused on the main characters instead of adding more unresolved trauma. This author has tons of potential. I’m looking forward to her next book!
Some good things first;
🤍 friends to lovers
🤍 found family in friends
The main character, Spencer, is beginning her first year at university. She deals with a dysfunctional relationship with her mom, a dad that is MIA, and keeps to herself as much as she can.
Fast forward a bit and she meets Nick, the lovable male MC who is overprotective of everyone he meets. They become friends slowly, and you can see where the relationship is going (albeit very slowly.)
Things I didn’t like;
🖤 almost childish behavior from the characters? Yes we’re in college but the toddler level communication is annoying. Please all involved parties get some therapy.
🖤 the plot was minimal (which is fine!) but suddenly in the last %25 of the book everyone’s relationships implode due to drinking to avoid trauma? After them all having very strict “no drinking” policies or a very strong intolerance to drinking. It felt very… panicked “I need a problem to solve” to fit the narrative. I wish the problem would have continued to be Nick and Spencer navigating through their complex feelings and already complex relationships rather than adding in more trauma that was ultimately addressed in an unrealistic way. **spoiler** Many SA survivors do not magically move on because their assailant gets assaulted. Most parents don’t experience magical self realization because their child is t on speaking terms with them. We just had so much else going on. These two events felt disingenuous…
Overall the writing was nice. It was a cozy book. I wish the author would have just focused on the main characters instead of adding more unresolved trauma. This author has tons of potential. I’m looking forward to her next book!
November 8, 2022
Genuinely loved binging this book from beginning to end!
I was lucky to read an ARC of this book and finished it in only a couple of days. During this time, I experienced a huge range of emotions and reactions, like: laughing at the hilarious dialogue between Spencer and her loyal, ride-or-die friends, squealing at the adorable moments Spencer had with Nick sprinkled throughout, being frustrated and on edge at certain points with the characters’ acts of self-sabotage, sympathizing with the all-too-familiar complex ptsd that comes from growing up with trauma, and finally to being so immensely relieved and satisfied by the resolutions that were crafted by the author.
Most importantly, this book covered and integrated the topic of asexuality in a way that was extremely informative, respectful, and sympathetic to those who may be struggling to navigate the modern dating world in the midst of discovering their own asexual identities, especially in regards to learning how to draw and reinforce their own boundaries.
If you’re itching to read a unique and beautifully dynamic romance novel with characters that model raw, unconditional love, look no further! This book definitely will not disappoint :)
I was lucky to read an ARC of this book and finished it in only a couple of days. During this time, I experienced a huge range of emotions and reactions, like: laughing at the hilarious dialogue between Spencer and her loyal, ride-or-die friends, squealing at the adorable moments Spencer had with Nick sprinkled throughout, being frustrated and on edge at certain points with the characters’ acts of self-sabotage, sympathizing with the all-too-familiar complex ptsd that comes from growing up with trauma, and finally to being so immensely relieved and satisfied by the resolutions that were crafted by the author.
Most importantly, this book covered and integrated the topic of asexuality in a way that was extremely informative, respectful, and sympathetic to those who may be struggling to navigate the modern dating world in the midst of discovering their own asexual identities, especially in regards to learning how to draw and reinforce their own boundaries.
If you’re itching to read a unique and beautifully dynamic romance novel with characters that model raw, unconditional love, look no further! This book definitely will not disappoint :)
November 8, 2022
I haven’t read the book yet, but I’m excited for its release!
November 8, 2022
Warm characters and nice pacing
November 7, 2022
I don't know why there are 1 star reviews for a book that isn't even out yet, but it's not fair to the book or the author who wrote it.
June 18, 2023
Trigger warnings: attempted sexual assault, sexual coercion, sexual harassment, aphobia, death of a parent (in the past), toxic parenting, emotional abuse
Oof. I wanted to love this because there are too few ace stories in the world and the premise of this one sounded great. Unfortunately, this just...wasn't it.
1. It's FAR too long. The first...third? Half??...of the book felt very much like the same scene over and over and OVER again. Nick and Spencer hang out at the library studying. Then they drink coffee. Then he walks her home and they watch a movie.
2. It felt like a HUGE amount of the action happens off the page. Periodically, it felt like a plot was finally showing up and instead it would be...introduced and then disappear never to be mentioned again. Spencer's fight with her mum. Nick's grief over his parents. Spencer realising what asexuality is and debating whether she should go to the queer alliance on campus to find out more. In each and every case, any follow up to the initial scene and the decisions the characters make happens off the page OR doesn't happen at all.
3. As a result of Spencer never going to find out more - and apparently never doing any further Googling once she discovers that asexuality exists - in the second half of the story it often felt like Nick knew more about her sexuality than she did
4. Nick is REALLY hung up on the three year age gap between the two of them and it got really old really quickly. She's 18 and she's never had a boyfriend, yes. But he acts consistently like he, at the ripe old age of 21, would be taking advantage of her if they so much as touch. And then it feels like he spends half the book infantilising her and the other half calling her "sweetheart".
5. I strongly suspect that the author's intention in having all the male characters be like "No, I'll walk you home, it's dark outside" was to have them seem caring and nurturing. But mostly they just came across as controlling jerks.
6. Both Spencer and Nick turn on a dime emotionally. One sentence, they're all "I love you but we can't be together". Literally the next sentence, they'll be screaming at each other. They're utterly awful to each other time and time again and I honestly don't know WHY they want to be together because the dynamic between them is anything but healthy.
7. The attempted sexual assault was just...unnecessary. And not handled well, in my opinion.
Ultimately, this just wasn't for me and I probably should have DNFed it half way through at the latest. But I saw so many glowing reviews of it that I thought surely it had to get better. It didn't. Not even remotely.
Oof. I wanted to love this because there are too few ace stories in the world and the premise of this one sounded great. Unfortunately, this just...wasn't it.
1. It's FAR too long. The first...third? Half??...of the book felt very much like the same scene over and over and OVER again. Nick and Spencer hang out at the library studying. Then they drink coffee. Then he walks her home and they watch a movie.
2. It felt like a HUGE amount of the action happens off the page. Periodically, it felt like a plot was finally showing up and instead it would be...introduced and then disappear never to be mentioned again. Spencer's fight with her mum. Nick's grief over his parents. Spencer realising what asexuality is and debating whether she should go to the queer alliance on campus to find out more. In each and every case, any follow up to the initial scene and the decisions the characters make happens off the page OR doesn't happen at all.
3. As a result of Spencer never going to find out more - and apparently never doing any further Googling once she discovers that asexuality exists - in the second half of the story it often felt like Nick knew more about her sexuality than she did
4. Nick is REALLY hung up on the three year age gap between the two of them and it got really old really quickly. She's 18 and she's never had a boyfriend, yes. But he acts consistently like he, at the ripe old age of 21, would be taking advantage of her if they so much as touch. And then it feels like he spends half the book infantilising her and the other half calling her "sweetheart".
5. I strongly suspect that the author's intention in having all the male characters be like "No, I'll walk you home, it's dark outside" was to have them seem caring and nurturing. But mostly they just came across as controlling jerks.
6. Both Spencer and Nick turn on a dime emotionally. One sentence, they're all "I love you but we can't be together". Literally the next sentence, they'll be screaming at each other. They're utterly awful to each other time and time again and I honestly don't know WHY they want to be together because the dynamic between them is anything but healthy.
7. The attempted sexual assault was just...unnecessary. And not handled well, in my opinion.
Ultimately, this just wasn't for me and I probably should have DNFed it half way through at the latest. But I saw so many glowing reviews of it that I thought surely it had to get better. It didn't. Not even remotely.
December 5, 2024
I can’t put everything this book meant to me in words, but I’m going to try my best. I really needed this book, and I am glad I read it when I did. It took me years to realize that I was ace, and I think it was because no one around me felt the same way that I did. Also, at the time, I did not see many ace characters in the media, and it was hard to put my feelings into words until I found this label. Thank you Sarah Whalen for this beautiful masterpiece, I really enjoyed it!! I can't wait to read the next one (and ones after)! The playlist (at the end) is so fitting; I will be playing it on repeat and as I go on drives when I need to clear my head.💜🎶😌
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January 9, 2023I am grateful for the author's authentic sex repulsed ace rep and I love the platonic relationship that develops between Spencer and Nick in the first part of this book. I love how supportive Nick is in affirming and recognising Specer's asexuality and sex repulsion.
I appreciate that the author includes trigger warnings and is upfront about the content.
what I found incredibly difficult about this book was that none of the female characters could go anywhere without "male protection" and were constantly on guard against attack verbally or physically by male npcs. I'm fortunate that has never been my experience, but I also hated the behaviour of Hunter, Nick and other main male characters display as a part of their "protector" roles which felt paternalistic at best. I also found the eventual course of the main relationship quite toxic, wanting to hurt someone to make them pull away is not something to aspire to.
I also feel like this book tried to deal with multiple serious parent related traumas very briefly and it just meant we got no detail in any of it and it just created unnecessary drama that pulled in the plot in ways that created endless unsatisfying loose ends and confusion. I believe the author is starting up for 3-4 linked books but I just found it frustrating to get all these tiny snippets of serious things.
I am not rating this book bc I appreciate I have had different life experiences of being ace and this just didn't gel with me.
I appreciate that the author includes trigger warnings and is upfront about the content.
what I found incredibly difficult about this book was that none of the female characters could go anywhere without "male protection" and were constantly on guard against attack verbally or physically by male npcs. I'm fortunate that has never been my experience, but I also hated the behaviour of Hunter, Nick and other main male characters display as a part of their "protector" roles which felt paternalistic at best. I also found the eventual course of the main relationship quite toxic, wanting to hurt someone to make them pull away is not something to aspire to.
I also feel like this book tried to deal with multiple serious parent related traumas very briefly and it just meant we got no detail in any of it and it just created unnecessary drama that pulled in the plot in ways that created endless unsatisfying loose ends and confusion. I believe the author is starting up for 3-4 linked books but I just found it frustrating to get all these tiny snippets of serious things.
I am not rating this book bc I appreciate I have had different life experiences of being ace and this just didn't gel with me.
January 21, 2023
A solid debut
This is the first asexual romance I've ever read (to my knowledge) and I wasn't disappointed. The book does a great job of portraying the struggles of a dysfunctional home life, being away at college for the first time, and navigating the dating scene as a young adult who is also a sex repulsed asexual (and possibly aromantic). However, Nick's reliance on alcohol at points in the book was a bit off-putting to me (for personal reasons) even though alcohol consumption is not glorified. I loved how Hunter was a solid and consistent friend to both Reese and Spencer throughout the book. There were some points where it seemed like Spencer and Nick were being a little childish (and a bit too cruel to each other). But overall the book was enjoyable and held my interest well.
This is the first asexual romance I've ever read (to my knowledge) and I wasn't disappointed. The book does a great job of portraying the struggles of a dysfunctional home life, being away at college for the first time, and navigating the dating scene as a young adult who is also a sex repulsed asexual (and possibly aromantic). However, Nick's reliance on alcohol at points in the book was a bit off-putting to me (for personal reasons) even though alcohol consumption is not glorified. I loved how Hunter was a solid and consistent friend to both Reese and Spencer throughout the book. There were some points where it seemed like Spencer and Nick were being a little childish (and a bit too cruel to each other). But overall the book was enjoyable and held my interest well.
December 20, 2022
I picked up this book for the ace rep and I wasn't disappointed 🥰 I felt really seen because Spencer is ace in the same way I'm ace
I really loved this book. I loved Spencer and her strong character, I loved how stubborn she is and I loved Nick and how he takes care of others. I loved their love story, they struggle and have issues and makes mistakes, it felt really real and not a "sugar coated book romance" .
I really loved this book. I loved Spencer and her strong character, I loved how stubborn she is and I loved Nick and how he takes care of others. I loved their love story, they struggle and have issues and makes mistakes, it felt really real and not a "sugar coated book romance" .
January 27, 2023
i don't think I've ever felt so seen and valid about being asexual in my whole life. i didn't realize how much I needed a book like this until I started it
its 6.30 am and I'm writing this after staying up all night because there was nothing that could make me stop reading. i don't think there are any words that could explain how much this book means to me
its 6.30 am and I'm writing this after staying up all night because there was nothing that could make me stop reading. i don't think there are any words that could explain how much this book means to me
July 8, 2023
This book does have potential, but it needs editing! I wanted to love this book so much more than I did. I love ace rep and was excited for a wholesome ace romance, but this book just had too many flaws for me to ignore.
1. The Pacing:
This book felt so slow in the beginning especially since Spencer didn’t even begin to admit she might have a crush on Nick until page 230ish. I am all for taking the time to establishing friendships, but 200+ pages was unnecessary, especially since a lot of these pages felt like the author’s way of infusing her own personality and interests into the characters just for fun. Trust me, I love all of the movies mentioned. I mean, I have been trying to get my friends to watch Tucker and Dale vs Evil for years, I love the Heathers musical, and of course I’ve seen a live Rocky Horror show! I AM queer after all. However, the amount of detail in this crew’s movie interests did nothing for the story. It just took up too much space in this book for it to not do much, especially since other aspects of the book were rushed, like Nick’s grieving of his parents or Spencer’s relationship with her mother, or actually understanding any side character’s family troubles that were mentioned but never fully explained. With some parts of this book so dragged out and others so rushed, the overall pacing was almost distracting.
2. The Writing:
I really cannot judge too much because I did still end up reading more than half of this book in a day, but the writing could have been better. The reason I read this so quickly was because it was so dang easy to read, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s GOOD writing. It reminded me of when I devoured fanfiction on Wattpad when I was 13; not necessarily good writing, but writing simple enough that you can blow through it. Part of this ease was probably because this book was super dialogue-heavy. Dialogue is quick and simple to read, but I was missing descriptions and inner-monologues. I just wish for a story that dealt with such important topics that the writing would be a bit more sophisticated. Not to mention there were so many narrative jumps that just felt lazy. Why begin a scene if you’re just going to jump to a new one as soon as the action actually starts?
3. The Relationship:
Oh boy… I had my hopes up for a wholesome romance between Nick and Spencer and while I understand where the author was going with this, it was taken a bit too far. I’m not hating on chivalry but this was taken to an extreme. Nick would never let any of the girls in this book do ANYTHING by themselves and it got almost patronizing. Every guy in the book acted the same way, like all the girls needed saving. I’m all for some cute “I’ll walk with you” and “Would you feel better/safer if I stayed with you?” but this was just too much.
4. TW, asexual Assault
This was what bothered me most. While I appreciate Spencer’s reactions to her assault being so genuine (ie. crying in the shower when dealing with her own body for the first time, gaslighting herself into thinking it wasn’t that bad and she was overreacting, etc.), it got to a point where it was just to unrealistic. First it seemed like every time she left campus something happened, which just feels like the author adding drama for the sake of drama. I don’t appreciate sexual assault being used just for the sake of drama AT ALL, especially when the situations would never even happen. The first time Sam said something to her, sure, that could happen. But her being willing to get close to him and continue going to Nick’s house, where she knows Sam also lives after SEVERAL assault attempts? No. No way anyone would actually do that. And of course every time something happened Nick was conveniently there to save her from it. Again, this felt a lot like old fanfiction that just used horrific events for the sake of drama and I really don’t like that.
Now, if the assault and harassment was taken down a notch (or several notches), scenes were scrapped and other scenes were added to to help with pacing, the writing had more descriptions and inner-monologues rather than just dialogue, and Nick was less possessive, sure, this would have been a cute book! But that feels like A LOT of “if’s” so the most I can say is that this book has potential if the author worked with a professional editor.
1. The Pacing:
This book felt so slow in the beginning especially since Spencer didn’t even begin to admit she might have a crush on Nick until page 230ish. I am all for taking the time to establishing friendships, but 200+ pages was unnecessary, especially since a lot of these pages felt like the author’s way of infusing her own personality and interests into the characters just for fun. Trust me, I love all of the movies mentioned. I mean, I have been trying to get my friends to watch Tucker and Dale vs Evil for years, I love the Heathers musical, and of course I’ve seen a live Rocky Horror show! I AM queer after all. However, the amount of detail in this crew’s movie interests did nothing for the story. It just took up too much space in this book for it to not do much, especially since other aspects of the book were rushed, like Nick’s grieving of his parents or Spencer’s relationship with her mother, or actually understanding any side character’s family troubles that were mentioned but never fully explained. With some parts of this book so dragged out and others so rushed, the overall pacing was almost distracting.
2. The Writing:
I really cannot judge too much because I did still end up reading more than half of this book in a day, but the writing could have been better. The reason I read this so quickly was because it was so dang easy to read, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s GOOD writing. It reminded me of when I devoured fanfiction on Wattpad when I was 13; not necessarily good writing, but writing simple enough that you can blow through it. Part of this ease was probably because this book was super dialogue-heavy. Dialogue is quick and simple to read, but I was missing descriptions and inner-monologues. I just wish for a story that dealt with such important topics that the writing would be a bit more sophisticated. Not to mention there were so many narrative jumps that just felt lazy. Why begin a scene if you’re just going to jump to a new one as soon as the action actually starts?
3. The Relationship:
Oh boy… I had my hopes up for a wholesome romance between Nick and Spencer and while I understand where the author was going with this, it was taken a bit too far. I’m not hating on chivalry but this was taken to an extreme. Nick would never let any of the girls in this book do ANYTHING by themselves and it got almost patronizing. Every guy in the book acted the same way, like all the girls needed saving. I’m all for some cute “I’ll walk with you” and “Would you feel better/safer if I stayed with you?” but this was just too much.
4. TW, asexual Assault
This was what bothered me most. While I appreciate Spencer’s reactions to her assault being so genuine (ie. crying in the shower when dealing with her own body for the first time, gaslighting herself into thinking it wasn’t that bad and she was overreacting, etc.), it got to a point where it was just to unrealistic. First it seemed like every time she left campus something happened, which just feels like the author adding drama for the sake of drama. I don’t appreciate sexual assault being used just for the sake of drama AT ALL, especially when the situations would never even happen. The first time Sam said something to her, sure, that could happen. But her being willing to get close to him and continue going to Nick’s house, where she knows Sam also lives after SEVERAL assault attempts? No. No way anyone would actually do that. And of course every time something happened Nick was conveniently there to save her from it. Again, this felt a lot like old fanfiction that just used horrific events for the sake of drama and I really don’t like that.
Now, if the assault and harassment was taken down a notch (or several notches), scenes were scrapped and other scenes were added to to help with pacing, the writing had more descriptions and inner-monologues rather than just dialogue, and Nick was less possessive, sure, this would have been a cute book! But that feels like A LOT of “if’s” so the most I can say is that this book has potential if the author worked with a professional editor.
June 14, 2023
I wanted to love this. The premise was so interesting, but the execution just fell short for me. There were multiple issues I had, and I truly feel that most of these could have been solved if this book had gone through a couple extra rounds of editing. The whole first half of the book was basically the same three scenes on repeat, Spencer and Nick studying, Spencer and Nick at the coffee shop, Spencer and Nick (or Reese and Hunter) having a movie night. I also am not really sure any of the characters actually liked each other. They only ever seemed to snap at each other (I searched the word 'snapped' on my kindle and it was used 118 times) and were often mad or downright mean to each other. Speaking of the characters, none of them really had any personality, and were very one dimensional. There was also an underlying theme in this book that women literally cannot do anything there without a man around for their protection. There was a scene when two of the women were in one of their homes, having a girl's night, and they called a man over because they didn't feel safe without a man there with them. A woman was not allowed to open or close the coffee shop without a man there as well. I am all for promoting safety, especially since it can be very dangerous to be places alone as a women, but it just seemed overkill. All the male characters were also so quick to anger and to want to murder any man who even looked at one of the women wrong, and it just was a little too over the top for me, making it a bit icky.
The one thing I loved, and why I kept reading, was the asexual rep. I think that was SO well done, and I really enjoyed reading a book with an ace main character, as she also learned more about it and what it meant for her and her life.
I struggle to recommend this to anyone because of the issues I had, and how I truly think it needed more editing, but if you want good ace rep (and a bi male main character), it could be worth checking out.
The one thing I loved, and why I kept reading, was the asexual rep. I think that was SO well done, and I really enjoyed reading a book with an ace main character, as she also learned more about it and what it meant for her and her life.
I struggle to recommend this to anyone because of the issues I had, and how I truly think it needed more editing, but if you want good ace rep (and a bi male main character), it could be worth checking out.
June 14, 2023
if the author ever reads this, listen to me: you desperately need to know that anybody who told you during the writing process they loved the story thoroughly, and it was 5 stars and flawless and nothing else has lied to you, they are not trustworthy people and they are actively sabotaging you. they have sabotaged you dearly with this story. you needed honest beta readers, your book needed so much more love and revisions. as it is you've presented bones rather than a semblance of a meal to people like me starved for the queer representation you promised.
first, let's get technical: the story desperately needed an editor. if it had one, axe them.
so many words, phrases, sentences and scenes were terribly redundant. the length of the story is less related to the content of the story itself but more the fact that it's so long-winded because of repetition, despite having little to say. i read the word scowl and all its derivatives 86 times. for snapped it was 113 TIMES, and it was nearly on EVERY page past the 156 page mark. that should *never* happen in a story, especially when it hinders characterization. it truly spoiled the reading experience. at some point it became clear these words and phrases, misused in many scenarios, and all the redundant scowls, snapping, knuckle rapping, pillow throwing, movie watching, and take out food were meant to be characterization in themselves. and it fell flat.
every character is essentially the same and simultaneously a terrible cliché. they are archetypal, the pretty dolled up girl-friend, the patronizing boyfriend, the not like other girls fmc; they are not people i can care for. who were they outside of that, i don't know.
the use of third person perspective here could've elaborated on the nature of the characters, but it doesn't. again, there's just scowls, snaps, knuckle rapping, pillow throwing, movies, and take out food.
to be less formal, what i really couldn't get over is this book is not the ace rep it purports itself to be, nor is it really queer nor lgbt, which is shocking considering the author's identity. these labels have *meanings* and draw specific audiences (like me ☝🏾) expecting a certain thing when it's promised. aside from the technical issues, that's what made this book so unenjoyable and hard to slug through. it delivers on none of this meaningfully.
for one, our ace fmc from the beginning of the story who is supposed to have a *disinterest in sex* manages to make every interaction awkward on the basis of adding a sexual subtext that the 3rd person perspective elucidates to us is not there (the "see something you like" comment haunts me). every interaction became weird and unbearable for me to read. you can't hug somebody without thinking about sex or romance? like everything is related back to there and it was annoying because i thought the no-sex character, ace lead would be ASIDE FROM THAT. i could understand this behavior from the allo characters, but again, they weren't the ones mostly pushing it.
as for the queer rep, nick is bi or whateva and is who the lgbt is mostly referring to as he's most prominent in the story (aside from the ace yet hetero? fmc) but he's never actually engaging with men or demonstrating why it's necessary to outline him specifically as "openly bi" when he just gave toxic straight man (contrary to the "sunshine" character he was said to be). and the nonbinary black character is just a convenient "plot" vehicle for the main character to get in a situation where the mmc could rescue her. when i say the book isn't queer, i also mean that most depressingly it defaults on all the cishetero boring and sexist tropes.
chelsea is the simple whore who only exists to drive a wedge between the main couple, nick is a #good guy despite being an ASSHOLE, and worst of all the story uses instances of near sexual assault to set up situations for the cis man to be the dazzling hero. he is always the hero and our lead the weak damsel. but she's stubborn you might say? or strong? no. she is barely characterized and nothing more than a walking profanity. she's trope-ified and marketed as a grumpy character but there's a difference between grumpy and AGGRESSIVE ankle-biter behavior. she was a caricature that snaps and scowls like a rottweiler. she is not a person on the page, but a concept. and unrefined at that. as she is now she's a mean, spiteful asshole rather than an endearing "grumpy" character. it's hard to root for either of them nor their relationship, but im supposedly meant to. yet nothing is romantic or even friendly abt them especially when most of their interactions was spencer lashing out at nick and him harshly talking down at her.
simply, every aspect the book promises is not truly delivered. and it sucks cause i had hope for this story, i didn't dnf it, i wanted it to get better. but as it dragged on, it became clear that the only thing holding the story together was the concept, the promise of more rather than a cohesive, coherent plot. it felt like the author could've done so much better. it was just not ready to be put out into the world.
first, let's get technical: the story desperately needed an editor. if it had one, axe them.
so many words, phrases, sentences and scenes were terribly redundant. the length of the story is less related to the content of the story itself but more the fact that it's so long-winded because of repetition, despite having little to say. i read the word scowl and all its derivatives 86 times. for snapped it was 113 TIMES, and it was nearly on EVERY page past the 156 page mark. that should *never* happen in a story, especially when it hinders characterization. it truly spoiled the reading experience. at some point it became clear these words and phrases, misused in many scenarios, and all the redundant scowls, snapping, knuckle rapping, pillow throwing, movie watching, and take out food were meant to be characterization in themselves. and it fell flat.
every character is essentially the same and simultaneously a terrible cliché. they are archetypal, the pretty dolled up girl-friend, the patronizing boyfriend, the not like other girls fmc; they are not people i can care for. who were they outside of that, i don't know.
the use of third person perspective here could've elaborated on the nature of the characters, but it doesn't. again, there's just scowls, snaps, knuckle rapping, pillow throwing, movies, and take out food.
to be less formal, what i really couldn't get over is this book is not the ace rep it purports itself to be, nor is it really queer nor lgbt, which is shocking considering the author's identity. these labels have *meanings* and draw specific audiences (like me ☝🏾) expecting a certain thing when it's promised. aside from the technical issues, that's what made this book so unenjoyable and hard to slug through. it delivers on none of this meaningfully.
for one, our ace fmc from the beginning of the story who is supposed to have a *disinterest in sex* manages to make every interaction awkward on the basis of adding a sexual subtext that the 3rd person perspective elucidates to us is not there (the "see something you like" comment haunts me). every interaction became weird and unbearable for me to read. you can't hug somebody without thinking about sex or romance? like everything is related back to there and it was annoying because i thought the no-sex character, ace lead would be ASIDE FROM THAT. i could understand this behavior from the allo characters, but again, they weren't the ones mostly pushing it.
as for the queer rep, nick is bi or whateva and is who the lgbt is mostly referring to as he's most prominent in the story (aside from the ace yet hetero? fmc) but he's never actually engaging with men or demonstrating why it's necessary to outline him specifically as "openly bi" when he just gave toxic straight man (contrary to the "sunshine" character he was said to be). and the nonbinary black character is just a convenient "plot" vehicle for the main character to get in a situation where the mmc could rescue her. when i say the book isn't queer, i also mean that most depressingly it defaults on all the cishetero boring and sexist tropes.
chelsea is the simple whore who only exists to drive a wedge between the main couple, nick is a #good guy despite being an ASSHOLE, and worst of all the story uses instances of near sexual assault to set up situations for the cis man to be the dazzling hero. he is always the hero and our lead the weak damsel. but she's stubborn you might say? or strong? no. she is barely characterized and nothing more than a walking profanity. she's trope-ified and marketed as a grumpy character but there's a difference between grumpy and AGGRESSIVE ankle-biter behavior. she was a caricature that snaps and scowls like a rottweiler. she is not a person on the page, but a concept. and unrefined at that. as she is now she's a mean, spiteful asshole rather than an endearing "grumpy" character. it's hard to root for either of them nor their relationship, but im supposedly meant to. yet nothing is romantic or even friendly abt them especially when most of their interactions was spencer lashing out at nick and him harshly talking down at her.
simply, every aspect the book promises is not truly delivered. and it sucks cause i had hope for this story, i didn't dnf it, i wanted it to get better. but as it dragged on, it became clear that the only thing holding the story together was the concept, the promise of more rather than a cohesive, coherent plot. it felt like the author could've done so much better. it was just not ready to be put out into the world.
March 7, 2023
3.5 ⭐
The ace rep was lovely and the romance was cute. I did love the main friendship group and characters. However, I personally found the drama in the middle to be unnecessary and dragged. Plus, I also found it a bit heavy on the 'girls can't go out in the dark without being harassed, unless they have a nice guy with them' message. It just made the guys actions really patronising.
The ace rep was lovely and the romance was cute. I did love the main friendship group and characters. However, I personally found the drama in the middle to be unnecessary and dragged. Plus, I also found it a bit heavy on the 'girls can't go out in the dark without being harassed, unless they have a nice guy with them' message. It just made the guys actions really patronising.
January 7, 2023
really saw a lot of myself in spencer which is why i think i enjoyed this so much
please look up TW for this because it has a heavy amount but the author does mention them before you begin reading as well!
please look up TW for this because it has a heavy amount but the author does mention them before you begin reading as well!
January 11, 2023
So I went into this not expecting to love it as much as i did
The content warning page at the start was much appreciated before going in
Spencer I instantly loved and connected to from the first page, her character was so validating to me even with me now being AroAce. The Grumpiness was something i also related to a lot
I am just gonna collect Nicks now. Because the way i fell for this Nick was like ahh i was squealing!!! I also related to him too.
The friendships in this was definitely great, though it felt some of it was easily dealt with. Friendships are always just so meaningful and i feel this really showed it
I wanted to murder Sam so much!!! He made me so angry.
SOME OF THE QUOTES!! THE TITLE BEING MENTIONED THROUGOUT WAS AMAZING
I really need to reread this so i can go through and annotate it!!
But this book was so validating in so many ways i can't possibly spew them all here.
The content warning page at the start was much appreciated before going in
Spencer I instantly loved and connected to from the first page, her character was so validating to me even with me now being AroAce. The Grumpiness was something i also related to a lot
I am just gonna collect Nicks now. Because the way i fell for this Nick was like ahh i was squealing!!! I also related to him too.
The friendships in this was definitely great, though it felt some of it was easily dealt with. Friendships are always just so meaningful and i feel this really showed it
I wanted to murder Sam so much!!! He made me so angry.
SOME OF THE QUOTES!! THE TITLE BEING MENTIONED THROUGOUT WAS AMAZING
I really need to reread this so i can go through and annotate it!!
But this book was so validating in so many ways i can't possibly spew them all here.
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