Biting Anorexia: A Firsthand Account of an Internal War

by Lucy Howard-Taylor

My name is Lucy. I am in recovery from anorexia nervosa and major depression, each of which almost killed me.

So begins Biting Anorexia, an extraordinary account of a teenage girl's descent into the tortured existence of anorexia and her arduous, remarkable recovery. Much of this unflinchingly candid memoir is ripped directly from the pages of author Lucy Howard-Taylor's diary as she struggled with the torturous condition, offering a rare glimpse into the thoughts and fears that grip the minds of those struggling with anorexia, the most fatal of all psychiatric illnesses.

Tinged with a wicked sense of humor, Lucy's beautifully written, penetrating insights capture the overpowering anxiety that comes with anorexia and reveal the challenge of recovery. This courageous and compelling story will inspire and support those troubled with the condition, and their family and friends, the world over.

… a graphic yet poetic insight into the pain and suffering experienced by sufferers of eating disorders.
—Claire Vickery, CEO and founder of The Butterfly Foundation

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Mental Illness, Mental Health, Psychology, Health, Biography

192 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2009

About the author

Lucy Howard-Taylor is the author of Biting Anorexia, published in Australia, New Zealand, the US and Canada. She has edited Australia's oldest literary journal Hermes, Magma Poetry magazine and The Dictionary of Dangerous Ideas. She has been twice shortlisted for The Bridport Prize for poetry in the UK and her poems have been published and performed in Australia and England. She writes regularly for travel magazine Lodestars Anthology and currently lives between London and the Isle of Skye.

Reviews

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

My copy of this book has bits and pieces highlighted and is falling apart from how many times I have flipped through the pages on rainy afternoons.

[Jas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book at quite a dark time, leading me to wonder whether I was looking for something inspiring or something immensely triggering when I picked up Howard-Taylor's memoir. Either way, "Biting Anorexia" was an incredible read, and while I can't say it drastically turned my life around for the better it certainly deepened my insight into AN. I felt comforted by the many ways in which I could relate to Lucy and her experience, and all the memories she shared that I too had been through. She has a flowing, honest writing style too, that's easy to get hooked into (since you really do feel you're taking a trip through her mind as you read). I really hope that anyone who has been impacted by an eating disorder of any kind gives this book a chance and can use it to give them guidance. Maybe more so carers, too - I know my mum certainly got a lot of help from her better understanding of the disordered thoughts Howard-Taylor examines in her novel. Would definitely recommend this read.

[Liralen · Rating 3 out of 5]

2012 review:
I had originally given this fewer stars - three, I think? I wanted to give it two and a half - but rethought that. I hold firm in my original impression that it was too soon for the author to be writing this book. She needed more distance, more, hmm, angst-free analysis.

With that in mind... she did some things very well. She didn't fixate on numbers, which can be a huge problem in this sort of memoir. She was honest. She was insanely quotable at times.

So no, I didn't love it (I can be hard to please!), but it made me think, and I would recommend it.

2022 update:
I'm revising this back down to three stars. I still think this is a compelling read for someone of a particular age and inclination—I don't know Howard-Taylor, of course, but I know who her writing speaks to, and that is girls who fit in but not quite because they think too much and read too much and feel too much, in ways that they can articulate at length but that might not be understood anyway. Creative overachievers. But now I find it a bit precious and, yes, still written too soon—a diary written in the thick of it, smart but self-conscious. It's still doing some things right (like avoiding numbers), but I'd look elsewhere first.

[Luisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lucy gives you an exact recount of what was going on in her head during her struggle with anorexia.
She divides her time up into the 'dark', the 'grey' and the 'light' which is so accurate for anyone with an eating disorder to relate to.

At times I got very bored with this book, as it was mostly just ramblings and thoughts, but at the same time I couldn't put it down. I found myself captivated with every emotion and was able to empathise with her.

I think the last few pages, titled 'The Light' gives hope to those who continue to struggle and give in to this horrible disease. I certainly know that Lucy has changed my attitude and perspective towards recovery. It takes as long as it takes. Staying still isn't a step back, in fact it is progress. I now have hope.

Thank you Lucy.

[Daisy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lucy is my friend. She is also an amazingly inspiring woman. I re-read this today as I am studying issues within age groups in the classroom, and I think anyone ever intending to teach young women should read this book.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

She offers some unique perspective on this disease. About half way through the book I became extremely impatient with her self-absorption, but then I was reminded that she was only a teenager when she wrote this, which is really quite incredible.

[Stacey Longo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a good insight into the mind of someone suffering from anorexia. It was deep and meaningful and wasn’t overly triggering. I appreciate the lack of numbers but listing food was unnecessary and potentially harmful for other sufferers. I also found the love aspect strayed from the main storyline.

[Codee · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m not into flowery writing and I discovered that here. I did like the end where she went through inspirations and struggles of fighting through an ED and I felt that’d be very helpful.

[Kate Holly · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the chronicle of one girl's struggle with and slow recovery from Anorexia Nervosa told in a series of journal entries. My edition was unedited, and although this left me impressed with Lucy's writing and grammatical skills, it did mean that some chapters of the book dragged where they should have been clipped or deleted entirely. Other portions were dry, or disjointed and left me confused as to how they fit into the bigger picture.

Still, this book provided a fair insight into anorexia, and allows one to better appreciate the difficulty of overcoming the lies of the disorder. Lucy also tried hard to refrain from writing anything that could be triggering, so aside from being reminded of what anorexia feels like, the person who has struggled with anorexia in the past should be able to read the book without being too tempted to relapse.

As a result of these factors, Biting Anorexia was ultimately an okay read. It left me with respect and empathy for the author, as well as an understanding of the disorder. But, I was unsatisfied with some parts of the text, and as such I wouldn't recommend this book to my friends. Sure, it's a decent read. I'm just not sure it's fully worth one's time.

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

This memoir is more a collection of diary entries reading more like a zine or somebodies blog than an in depth memoir style narrative. Memoirs are oft sprinkled with insight from the author, whereas this has the feeling of edited journal entries (indeed they are journal entries. I just feel they have been edited to read more eloquently. Perhaps Howard-Taylor is just that concise in her reflections though!). While it does provide experiential insight into the experience of anorexia and mental illness, it's peppered with other experiences which personally, I found didn't really contribute to the narrative.

I wouldn't recommend buying it. If it intrigues you, hire it from a library or find a PDF. It would most benefit families and people in the mental health field who are committed to understanding the experience of mental illness rather than focusing on causation. Honestly, it's not much different from reading someone's blog or a perzine.

[Hweeps · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I owned this book, it probably wouldn't be in the best condition seeing as I seem to have a favourite quote (usually quoteS) on each page. I don't know how to do a review of this, but yeah, I'd say it's a great book and totally worth reading!

Something unrelated: I left it on a desk in the school foyer where the discipline mistress (DM) spotted it and asked the school councilors if it were mine (my name was on the Late List and the book was on that table so no biggie about that) and they were like, yeahhhh, probably. And guess what my DM said?! "Why's she reading this kinda book? Maybe she needs some help". -_____- I'm not offended, but greatly amused. I don't see why everyone commented about it when I brought it to school to read, but I do understand that if my friend were to bring it to school one day, I'd have plenty of comments myself, lol.

[Melissa Romero · Rating 2 out of 5]

A difficult read both because of the subject matter and the style of writing (i.e., stream of thought/diary entries). However, this style aptly portrays the thought processes of anoretics, and, in a way, gives readers a glimpse into the frustrating, distorted,and frantic nature of their thoughts.Additionally, the beginning of the book (p.26-27) gives one of the most simple, detailed, and accurate descriptions of what people with anorexia face on a daily basis.

Although the book was not particularly captivating in its style, I found the end chapter, The Light?, to be realistic yet full of hope, which is rare when reading about this condition. For that alone, I would recommend this book to others interested in learning about this disorder and ways to help those afflicted by it.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lukewarm reception on my part. This memoir is one of those written in the oh so popular disjointed style, a collection of fragmented "mind bits" and journal entries. The problem wasn't that I was unable to piece together her train of thought but, simply that there was little I could relate to. The final chapter does offer a bit of hope and advice but the majority of the book seems rather unlikely to inform family members or assist sufferers.

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this memoir was a good solid read, although it didn't provide me with any new info on the disease that I didn't already know.I have read just about every book or memoir on this disease and this was just fair. For someone such as myself who daily struggles with this life long ailment, it has a lot of triggers that might be difficult to take. The healed patient would be more suitable to read this.

[Nerida Hart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lucy is a wonderful writer who takes us from one phase of anorexia to the next. She has this way of explaining things, using black humour and common day thoughts and feelings that we all have, that sends a shock and a realisation of what anorexia can do to someone, and the mind trap that they are in. A must read for anyone struggling with recovery, and those around them who want to try and understand.

[Nerida Hart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lucy is a wonderful writer who takes us from one phase of anorexia to the next. She has this way of explaining things, using black humour and common day thoughts and feelings that we all have, that sends a shock and a realisation of what anorexia can do to someone, and the mind trap that they are in. A must read for anyone struggling with recovery, and those around them who want to try and understand.

[Kristi Flower · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting first hand look into a woman's struggle through her first year of recovery from anorexia. I liked the book because she did her best to keep it "trigger" free for those of us who continue to recovery from eating disorders. I really enjoyed the diary format of the book, it was a simple read that touched me emotionally.

[Elise · Rating 4 out of 5]

An incredible first hand account and insight into the psychological struggles of eating disorders. The writing style is quite young and lacks polish, and is at times sort of teen-overly melodramatic, yet at others poetically authentic and heart breaking. Worth a read for all those who think people with eating disorders can "snap out of it" or are "just looking for attention".

[Olwen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author warns you at the beginning of this book that it was written while she was unwell and in recovery. Good thing she does, as the narrative reflects her state of mind. It was enlightening to learn of the thought processes of a person with anorexia. This could be a good read for any person experiencing anorexia and all the tricks the anorexic mind can play on them.

[Elise Woodard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accurate/realistic account of what it's like to have an eating disorder - beautifully written memoir - not meant to be a story about how a girl heroically triumphed over her eating disorder, but rather how she suffered and how she slowly crawled her way out of the hell that is an eating disorder.

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have read dozens of memoirs from those that have suffered from an eating disorder. I, myself, have suffered for over a dozen years. This is a very poor account of the disease, with very little consideration of the war that actually rages in the mind of someone who suffers.

[Alice woodward · Rating 4 out of 5]

i finished this book in the space of a day and enjoyed pretty much every single page. I've never had to deal with anorexia but I've had similar thoughts, experiences and feelings to those Lucy described. I feel like i can relate to her in alot of ways. Really intriguing read :)

[MK · Rating 5 out of 5]

Biting Anorexia offers some very enlightening first-hand accounts, as well as hope for recovery and additional resources for those suffering from an ED and those caring for them. I found this inspiring and incredibly helpful in broadening my understanding of such disorders.

[Kathleen]

I am learning the struggles of a disease that is becoming more prevalent in society. It is the first hand account of Lucy's struggles.

[Jennifer Brierly · Rating 3 out of 5]

No match for the brilliance of "Wasted", but it captures the pain and obsession of anorexia well.

[Sonja · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was originally really interested in this book, but still it took me over eight months to finish. But oh well, it was still worth my time.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was good, an honest insight into a persons soul. It was honest, raw, triggering, but also hopeful. A young student, slightly pretentious but in a likable way if that is possible.

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lucy Howard-Taylor is a fantastic writer. She knows it, I'm sure, and gets caught up in it. Her diary entries read like poetry and they drag on and on. Having said that, I still enjoyed this book.

[Katrin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Too much use of the Fword. Kind of hard to follow.

[Artie Carden · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the better mental health memoirs I’ve read (and I’ve read many)
I love that she doesn’t use numbers in this book and blanks them out. I love that the last section of the book is also a how-to recovery guide, a more positive ending with an overview of what she learned to do. Doing something that will actually benefit the readers which I often don’t see. I enjoyed the small fragmented sections, making it feel very much like a diary and thought process.

I just think Lucy Howard-Taylor did something good with this book vs. Other books like this that tend to be very self centred with no structured ending to help readers.