How to Be a Vampire: A Fangs-On Guide for the Newly Undead

by Amy Gray, Scott Erwert (Illustrator)

Welcome to the world of the undead! A comprehensive guide to the vampire lifestyle satisfies newcomers' thirst for lore and provides tasteful tips.

For those who join the decadent realm of the vampire, eternal life holds juicy perks -- charm and strength, shape-shifting and flying, telepathy and super-powered senses. But then again, one becomes . . . so terribly hungry. Is there an etiquette for feeding without causing a scene? How do you set up your crypt? What supernatural foes will make your blood run colder? In this elegant, edgy resource, the newly immortal will find everything they need to know, including:

* a quiz to determine your true vampire persona
* ways to turn into a vampire -- or when a kiss is not just a kiss and why you should take a look at your family tree
* a transformation checklist, including canine teeth and UV sensitivity
* a makeup and fashion guide to looking damned good (or just damned)
* knowing your weaknesses, from garlic, stakes, and sunlight to an obsession with counting
* ten signs that your boyfriend is a vampire, including super coolness (body temperature-wise) and a habit of sleeping in
* a field guide to vampiric variations around the world and through history

Genres: Vampires, Nonfiction, Paranormal, Horror, Humor, Childrens

144 pages, Hardcover

First published October 1, 2009

About the author

Librarian note:
There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name
This profile may contain books from multiple authors of this name.

Reviews

[Amy Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was by my mum Amy I love you

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yes, this is sort of a silly book and totally geared toward teenagers. The title and the cover illustration (which is TEXTURED! COOL!!) let you know that right off the bat. However, what I quickly discovered about this book was that the author had done some research. While this is by no means an academic book about vampire culture, she manages to give a fairly broad (if not deep) picture of the various kinds of mythologies out there. I was expecting a "how to" that stuck very closely to one story (these days, it's Twilight that seems to be the story of choice, but it could just as easily have been one of many others.) I was pleasantly surprised to find a more comprehensive text.

[Binibining `E (of The Ugly Writers) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ever dreamed of being a vampire? If you are, then you should start reading this. Enjoyable book, Intriguing and entertaining. I got curious at some parts so i ended up using google to read about Dracula, Elizabeth Bathory and some creepy castles. Enjoyed this one as much as i did enjoy its colorful and glossy pages. Full of informations, how-to, and everything you need to know for you to become a vampire. Facts, folklore and everything like movies, books, characters, real life vampires, covens, outfits, places and music that are suited for a blood sucking vampire are written here. Even names too, you got to pick your own vampire name, how cool is that! Hmm might call myself from now on Countess Vampirella Elaine-ah... Ah ah ah ah!!! hahaha!!!

[Kelsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Age: 6th-11th grade

Positives: Addresses boys and girls, eye-catching graphics, provides more sources for further interest, funny
Negatives: Misrepresentation of voodoo/Haitian beliefs/history

Things to note: magazine format, quick read

[Charles · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why was this book written?

[Misha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jak nepovedený výtisk Bravíčka.

[Nora Peevy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This YA graphic gem is beautifully illustrated and highly entertaining to read as an adult lover of all things vampire related. When I was a teenager, I would have loved this, though really it's more an informative guide to "becoming" one than a story. As an adult, I enjoyed the snarky subtlety of Gray's humor that only an adult vampire officianado would get. I imagine this could be turned into a very entertaining satire on whatever channel The Real Housewives series run. Highly recommend for a good chuckle or for any angst, goth, emo, "I hate the world and want to drive my parents mad" teen.

[RecensioniVere · Rating 3 out of 5]

Primarily aimed at a young audience, this book offers a comprehensive and engaging overview of the vampire world, ranging from traditional to lesser-known types. The analysis of style, enemies, and references to popular culture, enriched by interactive quizzes, makes it a valuable resource for readers of all ages.

The editions are all the same, you can browse the short of the Italian edition: https://youtu.be/TExTXK2DbPs

[Michael Kerjman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A briefly condensed picturesque booklet provides paramount information of how to transfer, exist and enjoy immortality of a bloodsucker, ushering in a darkness psychologically unstable readers.

Appreciating a volume oof information on various related subjects hardly applauds such guidelines themselves made public.

[Destiney Amiott · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a book on how to be a vampire written at the height of the vampire craze. Temper your expectations and have fun with this campy guide.

[Mason Gray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining

[A.]

i used to genuinely believe this book when i first read it ... fun read but not even close to the nonfiction i used to think it was 😭

[Chrissy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fun book. Especially for my 14-year-old vampire-obsessed past self.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

fun

[Knjiški Ahilej · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was really good. Some of it was funny 😁 and we learned stuff that we didn't know, which was cool 😎. My sister and I did a buddy read. She really enjoyed it too.

[Sasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

„Vampire: Anleitung zur Unsterblichkeit“ ist zunächst einmal wie sein Zwilling ein Buch zum Anfassen. Einige Elemente des Covers sind mattiert und eignen sich wieder einmal perfekt zum Drüberstreichen – auch hier ein großes Plus für all jene, die nicht einfach nur gern lesen.
Dieses Buch ist ebenso in drei Teile geteilt: Teil I mit Infos rund um die Vampirarten, wovor man sich in Acht nehmen sollte und an wen man sich als Neuvampir besser wendet; Teil II mit Tipps für das Vampirsein und Teil III mit Hinweisen auf weitere Literatur, historische Gestalten und so weiter.
Optisch kann man nur sagen, dass das Buch wieder top ist. Die Bildqualität lässt an keiner Stelle zu wünschen übrig, was besonders wichtig ist, da auch dieser Ratgeber durchweg illustriert ist. Allerdings bedient man sich bei diesen Bilden auch zunehmend der geltenden Klischees.
Gab es bei den Werwölfen auch einfach Bilder einer schönen Szenerie oder auch Motive, die eher indirekt mit dem Thema zu tun haben, findet man hier meist rote Lippen, dunkel geschminkte Augen, einsame Gestalten und zurückgebogene Hälse. Jedes Bild behält zweifellos seine Ästhetik, bei der Motivwahl war man allerdings weniger kreativ, um nicht zu sagen einfallslos. Das dämpft den Spaß ein bisschen, ab einem gewissen Punkt verliert das Ansehen seinen Reiz – schließlich gibt es kaum Neues zu betrachten.
Inhaltlich ist genau das ähnlich, wenn auch nicht ganz so stark vertreten. Wurde bei den Werwölfen auch über den Tellerrand geschaut und eine ganze Bandbreite von Arten vorgestellt, bleiben die verschiedenen Arten in eben jener Vorstellung stecken und finden sich im Rest des Buches beinahe gar nicht wieder. Die typischen blassen, attraktiven und sonnenempfindlichen Vertreter dominieren das Bild, was insofern schade ist, da man diese zum Großteil schon längst kennt. Die Vampire, die Neugebiet sind, werden dagegen vernachlässigt.
Trotzdem bietet auch „Vampire“ eine Menge interessanter Informationen und amüsanter Tipps rund um Etikette, Make-Up und dem richtigen Kleidungsstil.
Einmal positiv betont soll hier auch der leise mahnende Aspekt sein: Das Buch animiert dazu, duchaus seinen Vampir auszuleben, betont aber auch, dass zum Beispiel andere Leute nicht gleich gebissen werden sollen. Besorgte Eltern können also beruhigt sein – das Buch animiert nicht zum Bluttrinken und rät sogar von Tattoos und Piercings ab.
Ein kleiner Wermutstropfen bleibt jedoch noch: Dadurch, dass die Inhalte zum Teil längst bekannt sind, fallen auch viel mehr Fehler oder Vermischungen auf. Die Cullens bieten so zum Beispiel teilweise die Definition für den adeligen Vampir und die futuristischen Vampire entstammen eindeutig dem Matrix-Gedanken, um zwei Beispiele zu nennen. Ein fürchterlicher Fehler wartet ganz zum Schluss auch noch auf Fans von Darren Shan: Als weitere Literatur wird hier folgendes angegeben:

Dämonicon (Serie) (Originaltitel: Cirque du Feak series), Darren Shan (2000-2008)

Was natürlich vollkommen falsch ist. Die gemeinte Serie ist ganz normal die Darren-Shan-Saga, der Autor arbeitete nur bis 2006 daran und der Originaltitel lautet außerdem „The Saga of Darren Shan“.
Das sind Sachen, die fallen natürlich nur auf, wenn man es auch kennt. Dann dafür umso deutlicher.

„Vampire: Anleitung zur Unsterblichkeit“ ist also ebenfalls ein schönes Buch für die Vampir-Fans unter uns. Trotzdem hat es insgesamt weniger zu bieten und damit einhergehend auch einige Makel, die dem Ganzen einen ordentlichen Dämpfer verpassen.
Für Fans bleibt die Anweisung: Lest es ruhig, es lohnt sich durchaus. Die Werwolf-Liebhaber bekommen jedoch mehr geboten.

[Chelsea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had picked this little gem up from Five Below to go with the rest of my vampire guide books. It's really short, and fairly generic. However, the photos and artwork inside were simply stunning. Even with the length, there was quite a bit of information packed in. I enjoyed the breakdown of the different "classification" of vampires. There was a lot of stereotyping and basically emphasis on gothic or victorian attire for vampires, but some of the quizzes were funny. More of a conversational or decorative piece than a book to read, it was good for some chuckles.

[Klara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Readers seeking serious vampire folklore should put this book down immediately in favor of something more like Dudley Wright's "Vampires and Vampirism." Presumably, however, people who pick up this book in the first place are in the mood for lighter fare. The guide's showy cover, after all, is a fairly obvious indication of what sort of information lies within: digestible blurbs. The book, a broad survey of the imagined undead lifestyle, intersperses tidbits of genuine lore with more modern interpretations of what defines a creature of the night. Pictures and pop culture references abound. Making your wardrobe, room, or playlist more vampiric? There's a section for that. Investigating lesser-known breeds of bloodsuckers? There's a section for that. Looking for eternal-lived love? There's a section for that. The list continues in like fashion; whatever the specific interest, there's probably at least one page pertaining to it. Longtime vampire fans will likely recognize much of this information since the guide's depth does not match its breadth, but there's sure to be least one new fact or work of fiction to be found among the familiar. If nothing else, one can appreciate the book's visually striking layout. Overall, Amy Gray's guide is best suited for either newbies curious about the recent undead craze or veteran vampire fans seeking a handy source for factoids.

[Tazitazitazi · Rating 3 out of 5]

English/Hrvatski
This is a funny book wich my boyfriend and I bought as a gift to our friend who is a Twilight fan. It's a guide book on how to become a vampire, how to dress, decorate your home, start a covenant... with gothic illustrations and quizzes. It's just funny and I hope our friend will get the joke.
Ovo je smiješna knjiga koju smo moj dečko i ja kupili našoj prijateljici koja je ljubitelj Sumrak sage. To je knji8ga s uputama kako postati vampir; kako se obuči, kako dekorirati svoj dom i sl. s brojnim ilustracijama u gotičkom stilu i kvizevima znanja. Knjiga je jednostavno smiješna i nadam se da će naša prijateljica prihvatiti zezanciju.

[Kalilah · Rating 2 out of 5]

My cousin and I borrowed this from the library for a laugh and a laugh we got.
The language is so pompous and the tone so severe, yet what's actually being said is just so stupid one can't help but to laugh out loud and wonder whether the author is being perfectly serious or taking the mick.
There is lots to amuse the reader ranging from varied guides on the Do's and Don'ts on "turning" and quizzes. Plenty of photos and illustrations too.

"Wristbands cover up your lack of a pulse."

This quote in particular had me going for minutes on end. A good read for people who refuse to take vampires seriously.

[Ruby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a fan of nearly all things vampire—except for certain books and movies which have warped the lore into pure fluff and flat out ick. I found this to be a fun read from beginning to end, as this is a book that is designed to entertain rather than be a true “how-to” guide. From how to dress, how to decorate, the music to listen to, books and movies to check out…basically, it has it all. The writer has also done her research of the myth/historical information on vampires. Obviously, this is meant to be a quick, fun read for the YA readers rather than a true “guide book”, so on that mark, I say it’s a good read.

[Jenny · Rating 2 out of 5]

As the title suggests, this is a guide about everything vampire. From finding the right sire to vampire etiquette and dressing the part. It basically has everything you wanted to know about vampires. There are also quizzes to test you vampire knowledge and find your vampire style and even decorating tips. This is a full color book with lots of glossy photos and vampire eye candy and would make a good gift for the vampire loving teen or any other vampire enthusiasts you might know.

[Lauren Stoolfire · Rating 2 out of 5]

Randomly picked this up while browsing through Ollie's Bargain Outlet...
Quick, light read, addresses pop culture, urban legends, and vampire myths as well as fashion. Plenty of eye-catching pictures, short personality quizzes, step-by-step hints, tips, and instructions for all things vampire. Definitely aimed at the teen demographic, even boys are included here!
Plenty of laugh out loud moments though I'm not 100% sure it was supposed to be as funny as it was...

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very pop culture focused. I did think it was cool that it incorporated all the different pop culture mythologies into the book as different types of vampires (i.e., Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Twilight, True Blood, etc) to explain the differences between them.

Pretty amusing. Brightly colored and illustrated.

[Jody Bachelder · Rating 3 out of 5]

For those who are still caught up in the vampire craze, this book is a fun, campy, thorough how-to guide for those who want to become vampires, or who have just been immortalized. There's some history, fashion advice, food alternatives, music playlists -- it's really clever without being overly tongue-in-cheek. Perfect for that teen who is a little obsessed! The goth photos are a nice touch.

[Catherine · Rating 2 out of 5]

This quirky little tome was given to me as a Halloween gag-gift. The cover did just that... made me gag!

A fun bit of silliness, that actually turned out to be rather entertaining. The graphics are quite good, and the pages are a nice, hefty, semi-gloss paper.

Never finished it, but will give it space on my bookshelf to pull out again next Halloween. :}=

[Jessica Click · Rating 5 out of 5]

The cover of this book is really cool. I actually liked this book a lot! It has quite a bit of funny stuff in it. I liked that it was for both guys and girls. It lists stuff about the history of vampires,music,movies,fashion also the different types of vampires. A good book for those who love vampires!

[Helena · Rating 1 out of 5]

Tbh I am not the target market for this book. I snagged it for $1 at five below on a whim, but it's very much aimed at the twilight crowd. That said, it's kinda cute in its own way, taken very very not-seriously. It's just a little too pre-teen for me to even giggle at. Perhaps I would have enjoyed it as a 12 year old. Still, it was moderately diverting for a 3am jetlag insomnia distraction.

[Debye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun book about becoming a vampire! Discusses the different types of vampires, how to choose a sire, how to dress, decorate. Seminal works about vampires---fiction, graphic novels, movies, tv shows.....just plain fun!!!