What to Expect When You're Expected: A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters

by David Javerbaum, Mike Loew (Illustrator)

This new second edition is filled with the latest, most accurate wombhood information, including comforting answers to hundreds of questions, such as

• “My mother just took a sip of white wine. Am I going to end up looking like some Chernobyl baby now?”
• “So far Mommy is spending most of her pregnancy in a state of stress, anxiety, and depression. Which one should she focus on?”
• “I’m kicking as hard as I can, but Mom says it feels like ‘butterflies fluttering.’ Am I doing something wrong?”
• “Why do my parents blast Mozart at me every night right when I’m trying to sleep?!?”
• “To the nearest hundred, how many people should Mommy invite to my birth?”

Genres: Humor, Parenting, Nonfiction, Satire, Medical

197 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

David Javerbaum (born David J. Javerbaum) is an American comedy writer, lyricist and librettist. Javerbaum was a former head writer and executive producer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. His work for the program won 11 Emmy Awards, a Grammy Award, two Peabody Awards and Television Critics Association Awards for both Best Comedy and Best News Show.

Some of his wellknown works are What to Expect When You're Expected: A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters (2009); The Last Testament: A Memoir by God, (2011); and The Book Of Bieb (2014). He also coauthored the show's textbook parody America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction, which sold 2.6 million copies and won the 2005 Thurber Prize for American Humor. The book spent a year in The New York Times Bestseller List (including 15 at #1) and was named Publishers Weekly's 2004 Book of the Year. He became a consulting producer at the start of 2009 and spent the next 18 months spearheading the writing of the book's sequel, Earth (The Book): A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race, which was released in September 2010; his co-production of its audiobook earned the 2011 Grammy Award for Best Spoken-Word Album.

David Javerbaum is a graduate of NYU's Graduate School of Musical Theater Composition and Harvard University where he wrote for the humor magazine The Harvard Lampoon and served as lyricist and co-bookwriter for two productions of the Hasty Pudding Theatricals. Later he spent three years contributing headlines to The Onion, and is credited as one of the writers for Our Dumb Century.

Reviews

[Alise · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really expected this book to knock my socks off. Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters? Written by one of the writers for The Daily Show? Co-author of America: The Book? This was going to be a total win.

Meh.

Don't get me wrong, this book has some seriously funny stuff in it. David Javerbaum has some moments of sheer genius. I mean, he DOES write for The Daily Show, after all, and of course I love that.

But this book is really profane. I'm not one who minds profanity in what I read, but I prefer it to serve a purpose. When I'm reading a book that is modeled on pretty much THE pregnancy bible, I expect it to follow the same style. And while the lay-out is the same, the actual writing is just not. Not even close. And that definitely knocks it down a peg for me.

Most chapters are broken down into three sections: The Best Weeks Ever! (breakdown of what happens developmentally during each week), What You May Be Concerned She's Not Concerned About (questions from the fetus about mom's behavior, body changes, etc.), and A Fetal Examination (just a fun little peek into the lives of other unborns). The book is also liberally sprinkled with pictures, sidebars, and charts. To me, the charts were by far the most redeeming part of the book. That guy definitely knows how to spoof on a chart!

If you've got a pregnant friend who doesn't mind pretty raunchy humor and can laugh about her pregnancy, this is probably a good bet. But for reading on your own for fun? I'd probably give it a pass.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I selected "read" because I've read all I plan to read. The idea was somewhat clever -- pregnancy and birth from the perspective of the fetus. The problem was that the idea got old by the second section of the book (not the second chapter, the second section within the first chapter).

Damon bought it at the airport. He thinks the book is hilarious.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh,

I was hoping that this book would be funnier. The writing was well done and I like the concept, a book from the point of view of a fetus, but it didnt really land for me. I think I smiled twice and didnt laugh once. This book has been on my shelf for a few years now. Maybe if I had read it back when I first got it I would have enjoyed it more

[Benjamin Rubenstein]

This is a clever idea: a book about fetuses that speaks to the fetus. It's kind of funny, kind of informative--though you sometimes don't know where the true information ends and the joke begins, therefore you can't take any of it as fact. Ultimately, I got to 29% complete and I was good.

[Bo · Rating 1 out of 5]

I understand it's a parody/the author is trying to be sarcastic, but skimming through the book I did not laugh nor learn anything.

[Ed · Rating 1 out of 5]

Interesting premise. Funny first chapter or so. Then it’s a disaster. A pretty awful book - it’s not so much the swearing - it just isn’t funny. Sigh.

[Mandi Grasmeyer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Quick read, but so sarcastic that I didn't know what was true and what wasn't. Also, very crude.

[sammi_reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

I once was a fetus, so I really felt I could relate to this.

[Melissa Cabbage · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought it would be funny but I didn't laugh at all. I also thought it made fetuses look bad.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book because I saw the author on The Daily Show, and, well, we are expecting, so it seemed to make sense. David Javerbaum was absolutely hysterical on TV so I figured the book would be equally funny.

I found the book to be generally enjoyable, but I'm not sure where it fits. I've already read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and the book does follow a very similar structure - taking you through each month, listing the changes that the fetus goes through and some other points of discussion.

While I found the book to be funny, and it did have some LOL moments, it wasn't as funny as I thought. It obviously isn't intended as a replacement for "What to Expect When You're Expecting" so I guess it's more of a funny companion. I think the book is best read as an accompaniment to that book, or maybe as a substitute if one of the parents isn't willing to read the 'real' book. Some of the language and topics can be coarse so it's not something you could read to an older child expecting a younger sibling. It does provide some laughs, so maybe it would be best as a way to take a break from the 'seriousness' of expecting a child?

I guess not every book needs a place, and this one was enjoyable enough to be worth reading anyway.

[Debra Pants · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was going back and forth between two and three stars for this one. I "like" a lot of the books I read, but don't feel compelled to read them again (which is when I would give something 4 or 5 stars), and I decided I liked this book at least a little less than most other books I read, which is why I gave it two stars. If there had been less liberal use of the f word to describe sexual intercourse and other profanities strewn throughout the book, I may have rated it higher. I just don't feel all the coarse language was necessary, and it detracted from instead of added to the humor. When the jokes worked, they were often quite humorous, but sometimes the "jokes" just fell flat. I did enjoy looking at many of the figures and the accompanying captions throughout the book, which often brought an out loud chuckle. I didn't realize the author was a former Daily Show writer, but I can see similarities between the style of humor on the show and the writing. So, if you dislike The Daily Show, you probably won't like the book at all, and if you love it, you may forgive the author for some of his weaker humor attempts.

[J · Rating 1 out of 5]

The concept of this book and it supposing to be a parody actually were the main things that caught my attention. Unfortunately the idea as good as it may just didn't work out while the parody itself seems to mimic the majority of parodies made by Hollywood - vulgar "humor" that isn't so humorous, crudeness and profanity past what a sailor probably would have used while leaning heavily on either bodily secretions and/or sex described in profanity.

Although some of the information included may be actual fact there wasn't anything that could truly be redeemed with the presentation of the book. The jokes weren't funny enough to make me laugh so I cannot even consider this a book of humor.

The pictures, charts and other added pieces were average at best while non-acceptable at best. All in all if you are of sophisticated humor this book shouldn't be approached with the intent to read.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, profane, and brutally honest. Forget "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and all the other paranoia-inducing books that cover pregnancy that are out there; you need a book that will have you laughing your ass off from start to finish when you're about to face motherhood. I'd recommend this to fathers-to-be and even people who either aren't having kids yet, or those who have already had them.

[Kelly Lamb · Rating 3 out of 5]

After all the seriousness of "real" pregnancy books, this one is good for a laugh. It reads a lot like the Daily Show books ("America" and "Earth"), no surprise given the author. There were several parts that had me laughing out loud. I recommend it as a reprieve from all the week-by-week and what-to-expect stuff that you end up reading during pregnancy!

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is exactly the escape every pregnant woman needs from the anxiety that spawns when reading the original version of What to Expect When You're Expecting. We moms should be laughing, not worrying that our fetus will suddenly grow an extra ear. It was surprisingly informative and just plain entertaining. Thank you to my guy friend who let me borrow it - he wants it back now.

[Noah Sturdevant · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the few satire books done well. Like John Hodgman, David Javerbaum gets to know a topic well enough to understand what can be done to make it funny, which makes all the difference. I found it to be informative, but extremely unhelpful, which is kind of the point I think. When this kind of books can make you question which parts are fiction it is more fun and engaging.

[Ubalstecha · Rating 5 out of 5]

HILLARIOUS!!!! This guide from one of the writers of Daily Show takes a fetus through all three semesters of pregnancy, with jabs at Moms and Dads, not to mention the whole baby industry. Get this for the woman who is expecting.

[Abigail Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a hilarious book! I hardly EVER laugh out loud when reading and I was doing that almost all the time with this one. Even if you're not pregnant, nor have ever been, it's a great read! Although, I think you'd get more out of it if you have gone through a pregnancy once before reading;-)

[Max Saltonstall · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a way to take the edge off the craziness and anxiety of all the rest of the pregnancy books, this batch of humor helped lighten the mood and make us laugh about the whole thing a bit more.
Thanks Tyler!

[MONIKA · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wasn't too thrilled. Had more expectations from the author.
The charts and graphics were more entertaining than the text.
Found a lot of american culture references which I couldn't relate to.
Good book to just skim through. Fast read.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

And probably it would be even funnier if I were one of those types of people who has children.

[Kent Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny, ranging from the NSFW-humor to the silly. Great for parents or parents-to-be who like humor from "The Daily Show" or "Colbert Report" or the like.

[Seth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Clever concept---decent, but not great, execution.

[Ed · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious! Enough said.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is very funny.

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

Supposed to be a parody of WTEWYE. I expected it to be funnier, but once you've read one pregnancy joke, you've pretty much read them all. Not that great at all. I just skimmed it.

[Kyle Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny, but the gag gets a little tired and forced at times. Not bad to flip through while on the john.

[Fiona · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious, spot-on parody of What to Expect when You're Expecting.

[Jill Burgess · Rating 3 out of 5]

great toilet read!!!

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

So funny. Loved it.