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354 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 25, 2023
“The tattoo is the first of many I’ll get with your name all over my body.”
[a few days later]
“You tattooed my name on your hand?”
“I wanted to get ‘I Love My Wife’, but I didn’t have enough fingers.”
”Why don’t you take a picture of the license plate and send it to a friend? That way if your dismembered body is discovered in a dumpster tomorrow morning, the police will know where to start looking for your murderer.” “You could change the plates after you dump my body.” “Hmm. Good point.”
“What?” “It’s just that people don’t often say no to me.” “Meaning never.” “Exactly.” I say flippantly, “If I’m going to be your wife, you’d better get used to it.”
“I see. Well, if we’re going to be married, I suppose I should know your name.” “So you’re accepting my proposal.”… “Just tell me your name, please.” “Callum McCord.” “Great to meet you, Cal. And should I call the police now to report a criminally bad comedian, or are you leaving?”
He grips my hips, yanks me against him, and growls, “You better make sure you squeeze hard, schoolgirl, because if I’m not passed out in five seconds, I’ll throw you onto that desk, tear off your panties, and give you what we both know you need.”
“If I say I’m sorry, will you believe me?”
“I don’t know. Try it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t believe you.”
He sighs again. “Good. Because it was a lie.”
“Okay. Here’s the truth. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. My backup plan was to kidnap you and hold you hostage until you fell in love with me from Stockholm Syndrome.”
“The man can kiss, I’ll give him that. He might be the single most aggravating human to ever walk the face of the earth, and he clearly has control issues and a boatload of secrets, but he sure can kiss.
What an unfortunate development.”
“Then I have my Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman moment, going from one expensive boutique to the next while every salesperson looks at me in horror as if I’m wearing a dress made of fresh turds.
In each case, it’s incredibly satisfying when I slap that black Amex down on the counter.”
“You can’t hold it against me that I did exactly what you asked me to.”
“No, but I can hold it against you that you’re insane!”
His tone turns reasonable. “I’m not insane. I’m perfectly rational. My ethics are just a little more bendy than other people’s.”
You’re something much better than beautiful. And when we’re married, I’ll tell you what it is.”
I say drily, “If you think that was interesting, wait until I tell you what he said to me in the car after the ceremony.”
“What?”
“That he wanted to spank my p*ssy until I squirted on his hand.”
After a moment of silence, Dani breathes, “There is a God.”
That dress is incredible.”
“Oh, this old thing? I bought it with your ridiculous limitless credit card at some fancy boutique in Beverly Hills where the salespeople looked at me as if I’d given birth to Satan’s scaly, forked-tongue baby and was dragging it around by its bloody umbilical cord. So charming, those boutique ladies. They made me feel as if suicide was my only viable option.”
His heated gaze rakes over my breasts. “Careful, wife.”
“No, you be careful. Because if you think you married a pushover, think again.”
“I know exactly who I married,” he says softly, his eyes piercing. “Do you?”
“Yes. A psychopath with too much money, too little patience, and too much
confidence for his own good.”
❝You scared of me, little lamb?❞
❝Call me a farm animal one more time, and your testicles pay the price. Step back.❞
❝Why do you have to ruin everything by talking?❞
❝Be a good girl and ask for my dick.❞
❝Or you could be a good boy and just give it to me.❞
❝Okay. My clones—the three housekeepers and your secretary. What’s that about?❞
❝I like having people around who remind me of you.❞
❝Because divorce is prohibited there by law.❞