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Reasons Not to Worry: How to Be Stoic in Chaotic Times―A Practical Guide to Stoicism for Self-Improvement and Personal Growth
In this heartfelt and soul-searching work, brimming with warmth, humor, and insight, the beloved Guardian columnist spends a year exploring how to pursue a rich and meaningful life, turning to the wisdom of the Stoics for insights into the deepest questions of existence.
Like many people today, Brigid Delaney was searching for answers to timeless questions: How can we be good? Find inner peace? Properly grieve? Tame our insecurities, such as the fear of missing out? Determine what truly matters?
Centuries ago, the Stoics pondered many of these same questions. And so, at an important inflection point in her own life, Brigid decided to let these ancient philosophers be her guide. Brigid is rash where the Stoics are logical; she runs on chaos, while the Stoics relinquish control of things beyond their reach. Over the course of a year, she dedicated herself to following the wisdom of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius. She hoped to discover how best to live--how she could use the wisdom of these ancient thinkers to navigate life in the modern world.
In Reasons Not to Worry, Brigid shares what she learned, showing us how we, too, can draw on the Stoics to regain a sense of agency and tranquility and find meaning in our lives. From learning to relinquish control to cultivating daily awareness of our mortality to building community, Brigid's insights are very funny and very wise.
Stoicism can be a tough medicine to swallow, but no longer. Thoughtful, timely, surprisingly practical, and filled to the brim with ways to learn how best to be in the world, Delaney's guide provides compelling and sensible reasons not to worry.
Like many people today, Brigid Delaney was searching for answers to timeless questions: How can we be good? Find inner peace? Properly grieve? Tame our insecurities, such as the fear of missing out? Determine what truly matters?
Centuries ago, the Stoics pondered many of these same questions. And so, at an important inflection point in her own life, Brigid decided to let these ancient philosophers be her guide. Brigid is rash where the Stoics are logical; she runs on chaos, while the Stoics relinquish control of things beyond their reach. Over the course of a year, she dedicated herself to following the wisdom of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius. She hoped to discover how best to live--how she could use the wisdom of these ancient thinkers to navigate life in the modern world.
In Reasons Not to Worry, Brigid shares what she learned, showing us how we, too, can draw on the Stoics to regain a sense of agency and tranquility and find meaning in our lives. From learning to relinquish control to cultivating daily awareness of our mortality to building community, Brigid's insights are very funny and very wise.
Stoicism can be a tough medicine to swallow, but no longer. Thoughtful, timely, surprisingly practical, and filled to the brim with ways to learn how best to be in the world, Delaney's guide provides compelling and sensible reasons not to worry.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published September 20, 2022
676 people are currently reading
9412 people want to read
About the author
Brigid Delaney
5 books62 followersBrigid Delaney is the author of Wellmania, This Restless Life, Wild Things and a book explaining Stoic philosophy – Reasons Not to Worry.
She has worked as a columnist and journalist for Guardian Australia, and is currently a speechwriter for a federal Minister.
She has worked as a columnist and journalist for Guardian Australia, and is currently a speechwriter for a federal Minister.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 349 reviews
July 25, 2023
Way too much of a focus on the author rather than the reader, but still a great introduction to the Stoics if you can get past the autobiographical portions.
October 18, 2022
This is a terrible book. The author attempts to relate stoic principles to her extremely unrelatable life.
It reads as if someone read the teachings of Seneca and Epictetus once, before attempting to relate as many stoic principles into their life in retrospect. To be fair this is exactly what the author confesses - with one of her main goals during the COVID lockdown to write a book. The haste and superficiality is evident.
When explaining the concept of being able to live with ill health, she compares Epictetus - a former slave that was abused and walked with a limp, to her hitting her head while being a guest judge on a reality TV show
She writes about her show being out on Netflix and going for celebratory drinks as an example of needing to be relaxed.
Her biggest obstacle is the Sydney lockdown, where she “suffered” by going on long walks with her friend while living in a cushy suburb and hiring a tennis coach to help her “unlearn bad habits taught as a kid”.
The best part of the book were the verbatim quotes from the philosophers themselves.
It reads as if someone read the teachings of Seneca and Epictetus once, before attempting to relate as many stoic principles into their life in retrospect. To be fair this is exactly what the author confesses - with one of her main goals during the COVID lockdown to write a book. The haste and superficiality is evident.
When explaining the concept of being able to live with ill health, she compares Epictetus - a former slave that was abused and walked with a limp, to her hitting her head while being a guest judge on a reality TV show
She writes about her show being out on Netflix and going for celebratory drinks as an example of needing to be relaxed.
Her biggest obstacle is the Sydney lockdown, where she “suffered” by going on long walks with her friend while living in a cushy suburb and hiring a tennis coach to help her “unlearn bad habits taught as a kid”.
The best part of the book were the verbatim quotes from the philosophers themselves.
April 21, 2023
This is a well-written and insightful book that provides practical application of Stoicism. The author presents the teachings of Stoicism in a relatable way, making it accessible to anyone interested in learning about the philosophy.
I found myself highlighting many parts of the book and will definitely be revisiting it in the future. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in Stoicism and the benefits it can bring to daily life.
I feel like there is much to say and to do on the subject it can definitively be overwhelming, but this book a good starting point.
I found myself highlighting many parts of the book and will definitely be revisiting it in the future. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in Stoicism and the benefits it can bring to daily life.
I feel like there is much to say and to do on the subject it can definitively be overwhelming, but this book a good starting point.
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February 15, 2024This is a great pop philosophy intro to stoicism. I picked it up because usually stoicism is touted as the ultimate manly man philosophy and I was surprised to see a book written by a woman.
This is enough for people who don't want to go into the nitty gritty of philosophy but are looking for better ways to live than what we've been offered (which, face it, most of us are), and provides a good springboard if you'd like to read more. It's especially good if you, too, only thought the Romans were for silicon valley bros with bad haircuts. It's especially good for writers, since we work in an industry where we have such little control (oh, wait, most people do). It's especially good for people who have led lives very comfortable in some ways--especially when you're faced with sudden turns in your expected circumstances, including job losses, illnesses, and grief (which could be any of us, because any of this can happen at any time).
Like anything, you read it and consider how it fits into your own life and core beliefs, and where it doesn't. Maybe it's worth changing those beliefs, maybe it's not. (As the author does when she considers the stoics vs desire and passion.) That's the point of reading--thinking.
This is enough for people who don't want to go into the nitty gritty of philosophy but are looking for better ways to live than what we've been offered (which, face it, most of us are), and provides a good springboard if you'd like to read more. It's especially good if you, too, only thought the Romans were for silicon valley bros with bad haircuts. It's especially good for writers, since we work in an industry where we have such little control (oh, wait, most people do). It's especially good for people who have led lives very comfortable in some ways--especially when you're faced with sudden turns in your expected circumstances, including job losses, illnesses, and grief (which could be any of us, because any of this can happen at any time).
Like anything, you read it and consider how it fits into your own life and core beliefs, and where it doesn't. Maybe it's worth changing those beliefs, maybe it's not. (As the author does when she considers the stoics vs desire and passion.) That's the point of reading--thinking.
November 17, 2022
Skip this modern day tour guide's foray into Stoicism, and just pick up Marcus Aurelius' Meditations and read them yourself.
April 10, 2023
3.5 stars. Typically I round up a .5 rating to the higher rating, but I can't bring myself to give this 4 stars. This book should have really been titled 'Stoicism for dummies' and while it's certainly not bad, I found myself frustrated by what I wanted this book to be. While it's interesting to read about what stoicism is (and how our modern definition of stoicism meaning 'without emotion' are a misunderstanding of a much more nuanced and complex philosophy), it feels like such a missed opportunity. Despite the writer starting this project just before the pandemic hit, her personal experiences applying the stoic teachings to her personal life were often glossed over or just side anecdotes. Instead, I kept reading paragraph after paragraph summarising different stoic perspectives - in a nutshell, stoics believe you should not be emotionally disturbed by things you can't control i.e. a global pandemic and only focus on what you can control i.e. your actions.
Maybe my lower rating is because while parts of the Stoic philosophy are useful, there's also a sense it's just a little too simple. We can't control if our children die before us, but can we really be expected to remain stoic about something so tragic? The author does point out the stoics didn't believe in not grieving, but preferred to not grief excessively - but who decides what is excessive grief? Criticism of stoicism is addressed, but not as deeply as I would have liked.
It's fascinating to read how such an ancient philosophy that was written thousands of years ago, is still so relevant for our modern lives and I recognise a lot its the teachings within modern clinical psychology and cognitive behaviour therapy. I highlighted many quotes from these ancient philosophers and I was pleasantly surprised to read about how modern these men seemed. Stoics for example allowed women to become stoic philosophers.
I just wished this book had more memoir, while I had glimpses of this in parts of the book - I particularly loved the final chapter on death, but these type of chapters were few and far between.
This one also be more enjoyable for people who are less familiar with basic tenants of cognitive behaviour therapy and clinical psychology. But if you already know some basics, stoicism may feel a bit like you've heard it all before.
Maybe my lower rating is because while parts of the Stoic philosophy are useful, there's also a sense it's just a little too simple. We can't control if our children die before us, but can we really be expected to remain stoic about something so tragic? The author does point out the stoics didn't believe in not grieving, but preferred to not grief excessively - but who decides what is excessive grief? Criticism of stoicism is addressed, but not as deeply as I would have liked.
It's fascinating to read how such an ancient philosophy that was written thousands of years ago, is still so relevant for our modern lives and I recognise a lot its the teachings within modern clinical psychology and cognitive behaviour therapy. I highlighted many quotes from these ancient philosophers and I was pleasantly surprised to read about how modern these men seemed. Stoics for example allowed women to become stoic philosophers.
I just wished this book had more memoir, while I had glimpses of this in parts of the book - I particularly loved the final chapter on death, but these type of chapters were few and far between.
This one also be more enjoyable for people who are less familiar with basic tenants of cognitive behaviour therapy and clinical psychology. But if you already know some basics, stoicism may feel a bit like you've heard it all before.
January 3, 2023
انخفضت شعبية الفلسفة الرواقية بعد وفاة ماركوس أوريليوس في 180 بعد الميلاد ، وصعود المسيحية.
في تلك الآونة ، تم تسطيح كلمة "رواقي" وإفسادها ، وأصبحت تستخدم لوصف الأشخاص الذين يكتمون مشاعرهم ، ويقمعونها ولا يبكون أبدًا. لم يكن الرواقيون الأصليون هكذا على الإطلاق. لقد استمتعوا بالحياة وأحبوا الآخرين وكانوا جزءًا من المجتمعات. أرادوا تعظيم الفرح وتقليل التفكير السلبي. كانوا يعلمون أنه لا يمكنك منع الحياة من إلقاء المصائب والخسائر والحزن عليك - لكنهم حاولوا الرد بشكل إيجابي أو محايد على كل الأشياء التي جاءت في طريقهم. نتيجة لذلك ، كانوا مرتاحين وغير خائفين ، مهما حدث. قدمت الفلسفة الرواقية نظامًا مدى الحياة يمكنهم اتباعه ويخدمهم حتى وفاتهم.
.
Brigid Delaney
Reasons Not to Worry
Translated By #Maher_Razouk
في تلك الآونة ، تم تسطيح كلمة "رواقي" وإفسادها ، وأصبحت تستخدم لوصف الأشخاص الذين يكتمون مشاعرهم ، ويقمعونها ولا يبكون أبدًا. لم يكن الرواقيون الأصليون هكذا على الإطلاق. لقد استمتعوا بالحياة وأحبوا الآخرين وكانوا جزءًا من المجتمعات. أرادوا تعظيم الفرح وتقليل التفكير السلبي. كانوا يعلمون أنه لا يمكنك منع الحياة من إلقاء المصائب والخسائر والحزن عليك - لكنهم حاولوا الرد بشكل إيجابي أو محايد على كل الأشياء التي جاءت في طريقهم. نتيجة لذلك ، كانوا مرتاحين وغير خائفين ، مهما حدث. قدمت الفلسفة الرواقية نظامًا مدى الحياة يمكنهم اتباعه ويخدمهم حتى وفاتهم.
.
Brigid Delaney
Reasons Not to Worry
Translated By #Maher_Razouk
May 10, 2023
DNF - 80% of each chapter is fluffy personal stories.
October 11, 2022
Overview:
Great book covering key concepts of stoicism in layman terms with real life examples from the author. Really solidified the ideas of dichotomy of control, and the idea of a preferred indifferent
Key takeaways:
1) Dichotomy of control: One of the main ideas behind stoicism is that there are things in life within our control and things outside our control. The only things we can control in life is our character, our reactions, and how we treat other people (actions). A good stoic focuses only on the things within their control and accepts fully things that happen in life which that person has no control over, such as losing a job, losing a loved one, ill health, and anything external. Many people look at this and think stoicism is about passivity, but it's more about doing the very best you can with full acceptance of whatever outcome you get in life
2) Don't suffer twice: There is a quote by Buddha that reads "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" which relates to the stoic concept of not suffering twice. It is a natural part of being human to feel pain in life, due to various reasons such as losing a job, unmet expectations, being betrayed, etc. This first response of suffering to these events is something every human experiences, however, the secondary suffering caused by excessive dwelling on these situations is optional. We have a choice how we emotionally respond to these situations in life, as evident by the fact that some people end up thriving after being fired, whilst others fall into depression.
3) Control over emotions, with acceptance of initial reactions: Initial reactions to events are sometimes instinctive, for example when a random stranger bumps into you it can trigger an immediate feeling of anger and frustration. It is important to be able to step back from initial reactions and not let them dictate your next course of actions. Take a moment to let the initial reaction pass and then allow your rational mind to take over to determine the best action to take.
4) Preferred indifferent: A preferred indifferent is something in life which you prefer to have, but should ultimately be indifferent as to whether you have them or not. This includes things like wealth, fame, and health. You prefer to have money, but a stoic would say that you should be indifferent as to whether you actually have money or not, as this leads to being content with your current situation in life and not falling into despair when shit hits the fan and you end up losing your possessions.
5) Hope and fear: Stoics weren't fond of the feeling of hope as they believed that hope sets unrealistic expectations about an uncertain future which leads to emotional suffering if that hope is not realised. This creates fear and anxiety. Hope and fear are two sides of the same coin. This is where I disagree a little with stoicism since I personally believe that hope can be a good thing, ONLY if it is combined with something else. This something else is the ability to face your current reality, however brutal it may be, and being realistic about it. Combining these two elements is what is known as the 'Stockdale paradox'. This is where you maintain absolute conviction and hope that you will achieve success and prevail in life, whilst at the same time, being able to face the harsh reality of the current situation you are in and accepting it. Hope alone will not allow you to succeed since when eventual adversity hits, your character will be shaken and you will become discouraged at the gap between reality and your hopeful expectations.
6) Death: Stoics often contemplated on their own mortality. Doing so allows a person to see just how precious our time really is and helps get rid of procrastination and unnecessary tasks. It is important to do this fleetingly, not obsessively as the latter can lead to pessimism. Just take a few seconds each day to remind yourself of your mortality and you'll live each day to the fullest and cease to stop wasting time on trivial matters and the opinions of others.
Great book covering key concepts of stoicism in layman terms with real life examples from the author. Really solidified the ideas of dichotomy of control, and the idea of a preferred indifferent
Key takeaways:
1) Dichotomy of control: One of the main ideas behind stoicism is that there are things in life within our control and things outside our control. The only things we can control in life is our character, our reactions, and how we treat other people (actions). A good stoic focuses only on the things within their control and accepts fully things that happen in life which that person has no control over, such as losing a job, losing a loved one, ill health, and anything external. Many people look at this and think stoicism is about passivity, but it's more about doing the very best you can with full acceptance of whatever outcome you get in life
2) Don't suffer twice: There is a quote by Buddha that reads "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" which relates to the stoic concept of not suffering twice. It is a natural part of being human to feel pain in life, due to various reasons such as losing a job, unmet expectations, being betrayed, etc. This first response of suffering to these events is something every human experiences, however, the secondary suffering caused by excessive dwelling on these situations is optional. We have a choice how we emotionally respond to these situations in life, as evident by the fact that some people end up thriving after being fired, whilst others fall into depression.
3) Control over emotions, with acceptance of initial reactions: Initial reactions to events are sometimes instinctive, for example when a random stranger bumps into you it can trigger an immediate feeling of anger and frustration. It is important to be able to step back from initial reactions and not let them dictate your next course of actions. Take a moment to let the initial reaction pass and then allow your rational mind to take over to determine the best action to take.
4) Preferred indifferent: A preferred indifferent is something in life which you prefer to have, but should ultimately be indifferent as to whether you have them or not. This includes things like wealth, fame, and health. You prefer to have money, but a stoic would say that you should be indifferent as to whether you actually have money or not, as this leads to being content with your current situation in life and not falling into despair when shit hits the fan and you end up losing your possessions.
5) Hope and fear: Stoics weren't fond of the feeling of hope as they believed that hope sets unrealistic expectations about an uncertain future which leads to emotional suffering if that hope is not realised. This creates fear and anxiety. Hope and fear are two sides of the same coin. This is where I disagree a little with stoicism since I personally believe that hope can be a good thing, ONLY if it is combined with something else. This something else is the ability to face your current reality, however brutal it may be, and being realistic about it. Combining these two elements is what is known as the 'Stockdale paradox'. This is where you maintain absolute conviction and hope that you will achieve success and prevail in life, whilst at the same time, being able to face the harsh reality of the current situation you are in and accepting it. Hope alone will not allow you to succeed since when eventual adversity hits, your character will be shaken and you will become discouraged at the gap between reality and your hopeful expectations.
6) Death: Stoics often contemplated on their own mortality. Doing so allows a person to see just how precious our time really is and helps get rid of procrastination and unnecessary tasks. It is important to do this fleetingly, not obsessively as the latter can lead to pessimism. Just take a few seconds each day to remind yourself of your mortality and you'll live each day to the fullest and cease to stop wasting time on trivial matters and the opinions of others.
January 2, 2023
It’s not often I rate a non-fiction book 5 star but this is outstanding. I knew nothing of stoicism until hearing Delaney talk at a discussion but I was sold the minute I heard of Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca.
Stoicism isn’t for everyone. Many will find this book confronting, many will say it’s not true enough to the ancient writings but so much resonates with me.
So much to learn from the Stoics, this will long sit on my bedside table as I read back over chapters, particularly grief, anger and moderation. Apply the control test daily ‘So you keep going. Just keep going’
Stoicism isn’t for everyone. Many will find this book confronting, many will say it’s not true enough to the ancient writings but so much resonates with me.
So much to learn from the Stoics, this will long sit on my bedside table as I read back over chapters, particularly grief, anger and moderation. Apply the control test daily ‘So you keep going. Just keep going’
May 9, 2025
"Being human right now feels like being blasted with a high-pressure hose—it’s just all sensation and force; too much, it seems, to open our eyes..."
Reasons Not to Worry was a somewhat decent look into Stoic philosophy. I have read a few other books along these lines, and thought I'd see where the writer would take this one. It was a fairly well-done book, overall, but I had a few small gripes. More below.
Author Brigid Delaney was a columnist for Guardian Australia. She has previously worked as a lawyer and journalist at the Sydney Morning Herald, the Telegraph (London), ninemsn and CNN.
Brigid Delaney :
Delaney opens the book with a decent into. She's got a good style that shouldn't struggle to hold the finicky reader's attention, and I found the book to be nicely readable.
She drops the quote at the start of this review early on, before this bit of writing on the aim of the book:
As the quote above touches on, much of the writing here centers around the lockdowns of the COVID era. The author describes her difficulties navigating COVID and these restrictions. She talks about the Australian lockdowns, which can only be accurately described as draconian. People weren't allowed to go over 5 kms from home. Wow. And people just went along with this... WTF Australia??
As a book about Stoicism, the book covers a lot of the historical founders of the philosophy: Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus. The author also relays a lot of the concepts and themes written about by the authors Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday. Holiday has written some of the most famous books on Stoicism. As an aside from this review, I would highly recommend his Stoic Virtues series to anyone reading this.
A central tenet of Stoic philosophy is the concept of Memento Mori. Life is hard, short, and eventually you and everyone you know will die. The author expands:
On a positive note, there was a lot of valuable info presented here about Stoicism. She includes many quotes from Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, and Epictetus. I particularly enjoyed the author's writing about the Stoic concept of Ataraxia, or tranquility.
Ok, so now the "bad:" The book contained quite a lot of commentary from the author about her own life, and how she uses Stoic teachings to navigate difficulties. Unfortunately, a lot (or even most) of this commentary was heavily bordering on ridiculous at times. For example, she talks about how hard COVID was for her because she had to navigate the lockdowns and modify her walking routine. She also spends a lot of time saying how stressful it was for her that she landed a deal for a Netflix show. Now, I get that everyone's problems are subjective, but at the same time, you shouldn't expect to compare your cushy upper middle-class life to someone born into salvery and living with a physical disability, like Epictetus, without coming off as out of touch. Another review here from Derek Lim sums up my thoughts on this well.
Some more of what the author covers here includes:
• The "control test." Focusing all your energy on what you can control, ignoring the rest
• Exposure to deliberate discomfort
• "Ataraxia;" Tranquility; keeping a tranquil state.
• Dealing with anger
• The "Golden Mean"
• Navigating modern social media; abstaining from giving your opinion on everything
• "Hedonic adaptation." Avoiding social comparisons
• Making gratitude a habit
• Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO)
• Grief and loss
• Death
********************
Reasons Not to Worry was still a fairly good book, minus the above criticisms. It was an effective look into the philosophy.
I would recommend it.
4 stars.
Reasons Not to Worry was a somewhat decent look into Stoic philosophy. I have read a few other books along these lines, and thought I'd see where the writer would take this one. It was a fairly well-done book, overall, but I had a few small gripes. More below.
Author Brigid Delaney was a columnist for Guardian Australia. She has previously worked as a lawyer and journalist at the Sydney Morning Herald, the Telegraph (London), ninemsn and CNN.
Brigid Delaney :
Delaney opens the book with a decent into. She's got a good style that shouldn't struggle to hold the finicky reader's attention, and I found the book to be nicely readable.
She drops the quote at the start of this review early on, before this bit of writing on the aim of the book:
"...I was searching for the tools to develop an inner life—an inner fortitude that would serve me until the end. This wisdom would guide my intuition, how I treated people, how I navigated the world and how I coped with it all: disappointment and loss, joy and abundance. But it would work inwards too—creating meaning and a map, orienting a moral compass, and creating the ability to be calm and courageous during times of global chaos and in a chaotic personal life.
By happenstance (more of that later) I found the wisdom I’d been searching for, deep in the past, in the ancient Greco-Roman philosophy of Stoicism.
The Stoics, always useful, seemed even more necessary in March 2020. They whispered from the past: ‘We’re here, we’re here . . . we’ve always been here.’
And so into the past I went. I found a time not unlike our own— full of chaos, war, plagues, pestilence, treachery, corruption, anxiety, overindulgence and fear of a climate apocalypse. Those times were populated by people questing for the answers that we crave today. In ancient Stoicism I found people, just like us, longing to find meaning and connection, to feel whole and tranquil, to love and be loved, to have a harmonious family life, fulfilling and meaningful work, intimate and nourishing friendships, a sense of contributing to your community, belonging to something greater than yourself, a wonder at the natural world, flashes of deep awe, a head full of questions
about how it all came to be, and, finally, coming to terms with letting it all go—at some point, not of your choosing."
As the quote above touches on, much of the writing here centers around the lockdowns of the COVID era. The author describes her difficulties navigating COVID and these restrictions. She talks about the Australian lockdowns, which can only be accurately described as draconian. People weren't allowed to go over 5 kms from home. Wow. And people just went along with this... WTF Australia??
As a book about Stoicism, the book covers a lot of the historical founders of the philosophy: Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus. The author also relays a lot of the concepts and themes written about by the authors Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday. Holiday has written some of the most famous books on Stoicism. As an aside from this review, I would highly recommend his Stoic Virtues series to anyone reading this.
A central tenet of Stoic philosophy is the concept of Memento Mori. Life is hard, short, and eventually you and everyone you know will die. The author expands:
"...‘Memento mori,’ the slave whispered into the general’s ear: ‘Remember you will die.’
The idea is to habituate yourself to thoughts of your own mortality. You can’t begin to properly contemplate death if you live in constant terror of it. By reminding ourselves regularly that we will die, we sharply bring into focus the one thing that really matters: the present moment—the time that we have. When we realise that our moments are slipping away with unceasing constancy, we come to realise how short life actually is."
On a positive note, there was a lot of valuable info presented here about Stoicism. She includes many quotes from Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, and Epictetus. I particularly enjoyed the author's writing about the Stoic concept of Ataraxia, or tranquility.
Ok, so now the "bad:" The book contained quite a lot of commentary from the author about her own life, and how she uses Stoic teachings to navigate difficulties. Unfortunately, a lot (or even most) of this commentary was heavily bordering on ridiculous at times. For example, she talks about how hard COVID was for her because she had to navigate the lockdowns and modify her walking routine. She also spends a lot of time saying how stressful it was for her that she landed a deal for a Netflix show. Now, I get that everyone's problems are subjective, but at the same time, you shouldn't expect to compare your cushy upper middle-class life to someone born into salvery and living with a physical disability, like Epictetus, without coming off as out of touch. Another review here from Derek Lim sums up my thoughts on this well.
Some more of what the author covers here includes:
• The "control test." Focusing all your energy on what you can control, ignoring the rest
• Exposure to deliberate discomfort
• "Ataraxia;" Tranquility; keeping a tranquil state.
• Dealing with anger
• The "Golden Mean"
• Navigating modern social media; abstaining from giving your opinion on everything
• "Hedonic adaptation." Avoiding social comparisons
• Making gratitude a habit
• Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO)
• Grief and loss
• Death
********************
Reasons Not to Worry was still a fairly good book, minus the above criticisms. It was an effective look into the philosophy.
I would recommend it.
4 stars.
December 24, 2022
This is an easy and accessible introduction to stoicism, for those new to it. Delaney uses lots of relatable examples to show how stoic principles can be applied to daily life.
The framing was at times overly simplistic, and it would have been helpful to see a little more critical discussion of stoic ideas, (e.g. the pointlessness of hope), or comparison with modern ideas from psychology (eg. research showing the stoics were essentially wrong about hope being useless).
That being said, if you don't know much about stoicism, and are looking for a self-help style intro, this is probably a good starting place.
The framing was at times overly simplistic, and it would have been helpful to see a little more critical discussion of stoic ideas, (e.g. the pointlessness of hope), or comparison with modern ideas from psychology (eg. research showing the stoics were essentially wrong about hope being useless).
That being said, if you don't know much about stoicism, and are looking for a self-help style intro, this is probably a good starting place.
November 10, 2022
I can't put my finger on why I didn't like the book, I think the story telling style I just couldn't connect to for some reason.
Im a massive fan of the Stoics and so the book content would be firmly what I should like, but I just didn't enjoy it.
Listened via Libby, but returned without finishing it.
Im a massive fan of the Stoics and so the book content would be firmly what I should like, but I just didn't enjoy it.
Listened via Libby, but returned without finishing it.
January 31, 2024
I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher (Harper Books) for promotional purposes.
I was a philosophy major in college so naturally I was excited to read this.
This was a very practical guide on stoicism and how to incorporate it into your everyday life. The author does a good job breaking down the philosophy of stoics in an easy to follow way, while also including quotes from the stoics themselves. The chapters are well organized with subsections discussing the key ideas. I found a lot of the advice to be helpful, especially the control test because I often get frustrated over things I cannot control.
The author also pulls from personal experiences and uses them to illustrate stoic thinking. I know that some reviewers didn’t like the anecdotes, but I didn’t mind them. When discussing philosophy it’s always helpful to ground the ideas into something concrete like real life experiences.
My one critique is that the book does get repetitive at times. A lot of the same ideas get reiterated in multiple chapters. When I learned about stoicism in my ancient philosophy class it was only briefly discussed because there wasn’t as much substance to it compared to other ancient teachings.
Overall, if you’re interested or even just curious about stoicism, consider reading this!
I was a philosophy major in college so naturally I was excited to read this.
This was a very practical guide on stoicism and how to incorporate it into your everyday life. The author does a good job breaking down the philosophy of stoics in an easy to follow way, while also including quotes from the stoics themselves. The chapters are well organized with subsections discussing the key ideas. I found a lot of the advice to be helpful, especially the control test because I often get frustrated over things I cannot control.
The author also pulls from personal experiences and uses them to illustrate stoic thinking. I know that some reviewers didn’t like the anecdotes, but I didn’t mind them. When discussing philosophy it’s always helpful to ground the ideas into something concrete like real life experiences.
My one critique is that the book does get repetitive at times. A lot of the same ideas get reiterated in multiple chapters. When I learned about stoicism in my ancient philosophy class it was only briefly discussed because there wasn’t as much substance to it compared to other ancient teachings.
Overall, if you’re interested or even just curious about stoicism, consider reading this!
September 26, 2022
I came to stoicism much the same way as Brigid but for me we were already deep into COVID-19 and lockdowns. It gave me clarity and purpose, it gave me a way to find meaning when the world got turned upside down.
I have since read far and wide on the topic of stoicism and philosophy in general and this is one of the best books I’ve encountered recently.
In ‘Reasons Not to Worry’ Brigid does more then simply summarise the ideals of stoicism. That’s been done to death. Nor has she oversimplified or reduced and watered down ideas to make them accessible to the masses. What Brigid has done is show how stoicism can be practiced in our daily lives.
While many books tell you what you can practice in terms of skills, Brigid’s is the first to actually show you what living a stoic life entails. She reflects on some big moments in her life over the last few years and explains how stoic philosophy has helped her to deal with these events.
I really enjoyed the sections where Brigid recounts her conversations with her friend Andrew. It was nice to read about the exchange of ideas and how this relationship mirrored that of stoic philosopher Seneca and his friend Lucillius. What I would have given to join them on their stoic journey together.
I adore this read and it will enjoy pride of place in my growing stoic library. I loved Brigid’s down to earth exploration of stoicism in a constantly changing and challenging 21st Century.
I have since read far and wide on the topic of stoicism and philosophy in general and this is one of the best books I’ve encountered recently.
In ‘Reasons Not to Worry’ Brigid does more then simply summarise the ideals of stoicism. That’s been done to death. Nor has she oversimplified or reduced and watered down ideas to make them accessible to the masses. What Brigid has done is show how stoicism can be practiced in our daily lives.
While many books tell you what you can practice in terms of skills, Brigid’s is the first to actually show you what living a stoic life entails. She reflects on some big moments in her life over the last few years and explains how stoic philosophy has helped her to deal with these events.
I really enjoyed the sections where Brigid recounts her conversations with her friend Andrew. It was nice to read about the exchange of ideas and how this relationship mirrored that of stoic philosopher Seneca and his friend Lucillius. What I would have given to join them on their stoic journey together.
I adore this read and it will enjoy pride of place in my growing stoic library. I loved Brigid’s down to earth exploration of stoicism in a constantly changing and challenging 21st Century.
May 23, 2024
3.5 stars. Great intro to Stoicism if you're uninitiated. Brigid ties the ancient principles into some more relatable modern examples which I think is a service to most. A little bit repetitive and dry in parts and the examples are probably a too biographical and unrelatable for your average punter. Could have used some broader use cases and demographics to really hit it out of the park.
Worth reading none the less, I think most would pick up at least a few nuggets of wisdom and concepts to think on.
Remember, if it's out our your control, not much point worrying about it. Simple but powerful concept at the core of Stoicism which everyone can tuck in their back pocket.
Worth reading none the less, I think most would pick up at least a few nuggets of wisdom and concepts to think on.
Remember, if it's out our your control, not much point worrying about it. Simple but powerful concept at the core of Stoicism which everyone can tuck in their back pocket.
September 7, 2023
A really nice book that served as a review of the Stoic texts I read before. It summarises the teachings of Marcus Aurelius and Seneca really well but does lack references to Epictetus, although this doesn't hurt the book very much. There's nothing new in this book for me but if you're new to Stoicism, it's an excellent text to read. The digestible and easy to understand format, split into nice and manageable sections makes it a relaxing yet informative reading experience.
Thanks!
Thanks!
June 29, 2024
This book is cleverly structured, engaging, and puts a well needed outside perspective on many problems that you are almost certainly overthinking.
My new go to guide in times of stress or anxiety, in a nutshell: the way I survived exams.
My new go to guide in times of stress or anxiety, in a nutshell: the way I survived exams.
July 28, 2025
I saw this book in a library and what can I say, I judged it by its cover. Some nice appeal. Great for the eyes. Kind of like the simplicity of one of bell hooks’ republished books ‘All About Love: New Visions.’ I vibe with some good, simple, color-blocking. Now, I gave this book five stars because I enjoyed it. Maybe I’m generous, but when I first opened it and began to read I got a sense of Malcolm Gladwell. Could I summarize this book by saying “ah, just follow the control test,” which isn’t too dissimilar from the general consensus of Gladwell’s ‘Outlier’ and the “ten thousand hour rule”? Well, sure. But I’m a fan of pop-science, as some describe Gladwell being a part, even with some disdain. I however, love the storytelling, and yes, even some of the quick conclusions. The reason being, is the accessibility. A story teller comes along and takes something that seems out of reach like science or philosophy and allows people into the fold who would otherwise wave a hand and shake their head to any encouragement to interact with these ideas. Delaney does this well. I enjoyed her energy and she split the book up well. There is a lot of overlap in the ideas presented and she does a good job trying to separate their specifics into their respective chapters while also preparing us for some of the more blunt takes of Stoicism along the way. Good book. If you like Malcolm Gladwell, stoicism, or just want to read a book that will grab the attention of other people, then snag a copy from your library and give it a gander. Peace and love.
February 16, 2025
DNF...which I never do! I enjoyed the first 30 or so pages but gave up on page 175. I enjoyed the Netflix series Wellmania and have been reading about the Stoics for some time. I had high hopes, but found this to be repetitive and reductive. If the author had been able to better tie the teachings to her own experiences it might have been more engaging (or at least funny) but the connections were poorly drawn. Most of the book is regurgitating quotes from Seneca/Marcus Aurelius/Epictetus with minimal additional context, so I'd recommend just going right to those sources instead of slogging through this book.
October 21, 2024
Im tired of heterosexual men finding stoicism and then pretending like they are these alpha males; so I appreciated that this book was written by a woman. I enjoyed her story and the autobiographical parts she included that lead her to discover the stoic philosophers. Still, there’s nothing new here that hasn’t been written about.
October 31, 2024
Audiobook - DNF. The classic theory of stoicism is so closely connected to Buddhism, and I do appreciate both. Mentally, with everything happening in politics and the world, I’m not in the space to hear about disconnecting from happenings. What we feel in reaction to horrors is what makes us human with a soul. I might try this book again in the future when it doesn’t feel like the world is burning…
July 5, 2024
La idea es buena y no puedo estar más de acuerdo con la filosofía estoica, al menos en su mayoría. Sin embargo, algo que podría haber sido más dirigido y conciso, se ha convertido en un libro de más de 300 páginas dando vueltas a la misma idea. Terriblemente largo.
January 1, 2024
(back in April) I began reading a library copy of this book... and liked it so much I went and bought my own copy of it.
***
(Now in December)
I've been meaning to write about this book for a while. Reading Kaggsy's EOY post referencing stoicism was the catalyst for me to finish off the last couple of chapters and do it.
And while I would be the last person to make suggestions about New Year's Resolutions because *chuckle* I've never ever kept any of mine and have now given up entirely, it does seem to me that our increasingly angry, entitled, time-wasting world could do with taking up some of the ideas in this book...
I rarely read self-help books, but Brigid Delaney Reasons Not to Worry, How to be Stoic in chaotic times, interested me because I like two schools of philosophical thought: one is utilitarianism, exemplified by Peter Singer's practical ethics which have actually influenced my behaviour (see the books I've read here); and the other is stoicism, which I discovered at university when I read the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius (161 to 180 AD). Meditations lives by my bedside, where often just the sight of it reminds me of its principles, enough to restore a calm frame of mind.
These basic principles are listed in the Introduction:
Since your own character is one of the few things you can control, there are four virtues to cultivate:
Anyone can (try to) cultivate these virtues, regardless of their circumstances. The pursuit of good character in ancient times excluded no one: man, woman, slave, freeperson, black, white. They believed that it was human nature, achievable with practice and commitment.
Delaney is not a philosopher, she's a lawyer-turned-journalist but she has been much more serious about stoicism that I have ever tried to be. She wrote this book to share the Stoicism learning journey that she undertook with a friend called Andrew. For her, it turned out to be very helpful during the pandemic. As she says, we all know people who went to pieces during the lockdowns, and yet some of us thrived. She had practised the techniques of Stoicism so that much of it was second nature to her. I just bumbled my way through...
To read the rest of my review please visit https://anzlitlovers.com/2023/12/31/r...
***
(Now in December)
I've been meaning to write about this book for a while. Reading Kaggsy's EOY post referencing stoicism was the catalyst for me to finish off the last couple of chapters and do it.
And while I would be the last person to make suggestions about New Year's Resolutions because *chuckle* I've never ever kept any of mine and have now given up entirely, it does seem to me that our increasingly angry, entitled, time-wasting world could do with taking up some of the ideas in this book...
I rarely read self-help books, but Brigid Delaney Reasons Not to Worry, How to be Stoic in chaotic times, interested me because I like two schools of philosophical thought: one is utilitarianism, exemplified by Peter Singer's practical ethics which have actually influenced my behaviour (see the books I've read here); and the other is stoicism, which I discovered at university when I read the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius (161 to 180 AD). Meditations lives by my bedside, where often just the sight of it reminds me of its principles, enough to restore a calm frame of mind.
These basic principles are listed in the Introduction:
Acknowledge that you can't control much of what goes on in your life.
See that your emotions are the product of how you think about the world.
Accept that bad things are bound to happen to you from time to time, just as they do to everyone else.
See yourself as part of a larger whole, not an isolated individual; part of the human race, part of nature.
Think of everything you have as not your own, but simply on loan, that one day will be taken back. (p.5)
Since your own character is one of the few things you can control, there are four virtues to cultivate:
courage
self-control
wisdom, and
justice.
Anyone can (try to) cultivate these virtues, regardless of their circumstances. The pursuit of good character in ancient times excluded no one: man, woman, slave, freeperson, black, white. They believed that it was human nature, achievable with practice and commitment.
Delaney is not a philosopher, she's a lawyer-turned-journalist but she has been much more serious about stoicism that I have ever tried to be. She wrote this book to share the Stoicism learning journey that she undertook with a friend called Andrew. For her, it turned out to be very helpful during the pandemic. As she says, we all know people who went to pieces during the lockdowns, and yet some of us thrived. She had practised the techniques of Stoicism so that much of it was second nature to her. I just bumbled my way through...
To read the rest of my review please visit https://anzlitlovers.com/2023/12/31/r...
January 20, 2024
1.5 ⭐️ I was surprised that this book was so author-centric and found myself skipping through the frequent personal anecdotes which I found offered little. The section on anxiety offered very little, just further anecdotes on feeling worried during the pandemic. And as anyone with actual anxiety knows, this is not the same thing. There are useful takeaways here from Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epicetetus, and having enjoyed reading Meditations, I’m inclined to recommend skipping this book entirely and reading the original Stoics works instead.
March 6, 2023
Really enjoyed this book, I’m always so interested in any lessons on the art of training your mind and the stoics had/have some great philosophies which have stood the test of time. Being a child of the late 20th century I would prefer if the author had monetised the teachings into an app which would make me pay for the privilege of journaling each day about my character and locus of control 😂. Another thing was, at the beginning of the book, some rival schools of philosophy are briefly mentioned and the description of epicurean philosophy did make me wish the author had chosen that as the philosophy to teach me - sounded way more bougie and pleasurable. Hopefully some of the lessons here have sunk in enough to help me control my actions, reactions and character with wisdom and courage like a true stoic.
October 15, 2023
As other reviews have mentioned, the book is much more autobiographical than one would expect when picking up a book titled “Reasons Not To Worry”. I don’t consider this a fault of the book, but as a fault of my having hopes and expectations, which if I gained anything from the book, I realise is not a very Stoic approach to the experience of reading this book. Irony.
I learnt a lot about Stoicism from this book, but did find it difficult getting through some of the “I had a friend, I lived in this apartment, I was doing this” content to get to the underlying point the author was making when she inevitably related her own personal lives experience to Stoic teachings and practices. It was worth a read and a book I will be recommending to others, but probably preempted with a disclaimer about these personal anecdotes provided by the author.
I learnt a lot about Stoicism from this book, but did find it difficult getting through some of the “I had a friend, I lived in this apartment, I was doing this” content to get to the underlying point the author was making when she inevitably related her own personal lives experience to Stoic teachings and practices. It was worth a read and a book I will be recommending to others, but probably preempted with a disclaimer about these personal anecdotes provided by the author.
March 24, 2024
Read the Epilouge and Save Your Time
This was the first book I picked up on Stoicism. I wasn't expecting a philosophical deep dive, so I wasn't necessarily disappointed by the fact that this book lacked a lot of original sources or contemplation about the practice. I think I was mostly turned off by how autobiographical this was, and the fact that it's written from an extremely privileged point of view that claims to be relatable. Maybe I wasn't the audience for this , but I am over self-help books where a privileged (usually white) woman discoveres something ancient, makes it her whole personality as an experiment and writes a book about it. I think that it's good to have practices that help us cope and deal with the world, and that's why I picked this up. I wanted to like it but, I just didn't.
This was the first book I picked up on Stoicism. I wasn't expecting a philosophical deep dive, so I wasn't necessarily disappointed by the fact that this book lacked a lot of original sources or contemplation about the practice. I think I was mostly turned off by how autobiographical this was, and the fact that it's written from an extremely privileged point of view that claims to be relatable. Maybe I wasn't the audience for this , but I am over self-help books where a privileged (usually white) woman discoveres something ancient, makes it her whole personality as an experiment and writes a book about it. I think that it's good to have practices that help us cope and deal with the world, and that's why I picked this up. I wanted to like it but, I just didn't.
April 24, 2024
Mixed reviews and for a good reason. Author does a great job of explaining basic stoic principles and theory. She also does a great job of confusing the reader with far too many anecdotes of her life, a life that for the average reader is not relatable and just not important.
This book is far more of a personal opinion piece of stoicism rather than a guide or a history book. In some ways it makes sense when you consider the authors background and profession.
If you’re looking for an opinion piece, look no further. If you’re looking for how to be stoic, look elsewhere.
This book is far more of a personal opinion piece of stoicism rather than a guide or a history book. In some ways it makes sense when you consider the authors background and profession.
If you’re looking for an opinion piece, look no further. If you’re looking for how to be stoic, look elsewhere.
February 9, 2024
I'm not normally a fan of philosophy books, but this was presented in a way that both made sense to me AND was not boring. As an anxious person, this was especially calming and interesting to me in today's world.
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