Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People

by Amy Sedaris

America's most delightfully unconventional hostess and the bestselling author of I Like You delivers a new book that will forever change the world of crafting. According to Amy Sedaris, it's often been said that ugly people craft and attractive people have sex. In her new book, Simple Times, she sets the record straight. Demonstrating that crafting is one of life's more pleasurable and constructive leisure activities, Sedaris shows that anyone with a couple of hours to kill and access to pipe cleaners can join the elite society of crafters.

You will discover how to make popular crafts, such as: crab-claw roach clips, tinfoil balls, and crepe-paper moccasins, and learn how to: get inspired (Spend time at a Renaissance Fair; Buy fruit, let it get old, and see what shapes it turns into); remember which kind of glue to use with which material (Tacky with Furry, Gummy with Gritty, Paste with Prickly, and always Gloppy with Sandy); create your own craft room and avoid the most common crafting accidents (sawdust fires, feather asphyxia, pine cone lodged in throat); and cook your own edible crafts, from a Crafty Candle Salad to Sugar Skulls, and many more recipes.

PLUS whole chapters full of more crafting ideas (Pompom Ringworms! Seashell Toilet Seat Covers!) that will inspire you to create your own hastily constructed obscure d'arts; and much, much more!

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Crafts, Art, Comedy, Audiobook, Reference

304 pages, Hardcover

First published November 2, 2010

About the author

Amy Louise Sedaris is an American actress, comedian, and writer. Most recently, she has appeared in both The Mandalorian (2019–2023) and The Book of Boba Fett (2022) as Peli Motto. She played Jerri Blank in the Comedy Central comedy series Strangers with Candy (1999–2000) and the prequel film Strangers with Candy (2005), which she also wrote.
Sedaris appeared as Hurshe Heartshe in the Adult Swim comedy series The Heart, She Holler (2013–2014), as Princess Carolyn in the Netflix animated comedy-drama series BoJack Horseman (2014–2020), and as Mimi Kanasis in the Netflix sitcom Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015–2020). She received further critical acclaim as the creator and star of the TruTV surreal comedy series At Home with Amy Sedaris (2017–2020) which earned her two nominations for the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Variety Sketch Series.
Sedaris has appeared in various films, including Maid in Manhattan (2002), School of Rock (2003), Elf (2003), Bewitched (2005), Chicken Little (2005), Shrek the Third (2007), Jennifer's Body (2009), Puss in Boots (2011), Chef (2014), Ghost Team (2016), Handsome (2017), and The Lion King (2019).

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I'm such a fan of this book for all the terrific memories it brings back to me.

My mother was a "crafty" lady, though finishing things was
not her strong point. (Mine, either. Heredity?) But, boy, she LOVED starting them. I remember her going, at least one night each month, to take a class at a local craft store. More often than not, she would come home with a seasonal "centerpiece," normally a hunk of Styrofoam decorated with fake flowers, plastic bunnies or deer, ribbons and mounds of geegaws. I expressed admiration, though I wondered why, when we never once sat down together to eat at a table, did we need so many darned "centerpieces"?

In addition to "art" projects in many different stages of completion, our home was also cluttered with scads of '60s and'70s craft magazines. God, they were a hoot! They were filled with ideas for HIDEOUS dust collectors - macrame owl wall-hangings, string art and pages and pages of things to do with discarded pantyhose. (Give your family and friends just what they deserve this Christmas - a doll that looks like Granny made out of Granny's old nylon stockings!)

Shudder!

Sedaris and Dinello manage to capture THE HORROR THAT WAS perfectly, with page upon page of projects NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would EVER want to make. (Well, for one moment there, I was tempted to sew some felt eyeballs on my jean jacket...but then I sobered up.)

The amazingly ugly crafts made of gingham, burlap and bandanas, decorated with rick-rack, pompoms and googly-eyes are made even more atrocious by their being photographed against backdrops of dark wood paneling and scary seventies wallpaper. Eww!

This is a terrific parody of those craft books and magazines that insist anyone capable of wielding a glue bottle can be "crafty." I was both amused and repulsed, which I'm sure was the desired effect.



I wouldn't make and give any project in this book to my mother-in-law worst enemy.

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dear Amy. I loved your new book, Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People, but I have a few comments. First of all, I made your crab claw roach clips. Unfortunately, I was showing them off to some of my friends at a local restaurant when I noticed that the table of police officers at the next table were paying a lot of attention to my demonstration. Later, after lunch, they let me sit in the back of their police car while they looked through my van. On the plus side, I did get to make the siren wail before returning to my vehicle. Then I made the coins on tape bookmark. Unfortunately, apparently I wasn't as careful as I should have been and the tape has fused together several pages of my book. Do you happen to know who the killer was in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Then for a special occasion I made the Crafty Candle Salad, but to add extra sweetness to the pinapple, banana spectacular, I added two marshmallows rolled in toasted coconut. I thought that added a festive touch. Unfortunately, my dinner guests just wouldn't stop talking about the salad. Okay, I admit that maybe I shouldn't have served this particular salad at my annual Gay Pride Dinner, but geez Louise, couldn't we talk about anything else? I look forward to trying to replicate many other of your craft ideas. By the way, next time you talk to your brother, David, remind him that I long to be his best friend and constant dinner companion. Yours in crafting, Judy

[e · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found a hardcover copy of this book, in excellent condition, in a recycling bin. It looked like a sweet book (I like to craft), so I was confused as to why it was tossed out, but then I opened the book and read it.

A book on crafting, which I guess was intended to be funny and ironic(?), instead produces racist caricatures, mocks folks in poverty, and those with mental health and physical disabilities --- there are entire chapters in this book based on these topics and I found this to be totally gross. How was this published..?

Needless to say, I returned the book to the recycling bin.

[HeavyReader · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book.

I read I Like You, and I really enjoyed it. I thought it was wacky and fun, but also at least a little bit useful. When I heard Amy Sedaris had a new book out, a book about crafting, I was really excited. I like to craft. Amy likes to craft. A wacky book about crafting by Amy Sedaris was sure to be FUN.

Sadly, no. This book is not so fun.

I think this book was an excuse for Amy Sedaris to dress up in horrible wigs and goofy costumes and have her photo taken. I think this book was an excuse for Amy Sedaris to set up little scenes with cool objects (some of which she probably made) and have photos taken of them. Then she wrote a couple of essays (in which the funny seemed to be a bit forced) to try to tie it all together.

Now, if Amy Sedaris can get someone to pay her to dress in weird clothes and have photos taken of her and her craft projects, more power to her. I wish I could pull off something like this book. It's just that Simple Times did not live up to my expectations.

Hell, I had to take it off my "funny" shelf because it's just not.

[Laura Hancock · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book took THREE FREAKIN' months to read, because I hated it.
The premise is funny: A book celebrating crafting in an ironic way. Like the author, I too hate crafting.
The problem is that the book is one, big inside Sedaris joke. I like David Sedaris and I liked Amy Sedaris' previous book, "I Like You: Entertaining Under the Influence" but I hated this one. I think the big difference between her last book and this book is the author's perspective.
In real life, Amy Sedaris enjoys cooking and apparently has a side cooking business, so in her first book, she found ways to poke fun at her cheesy love of entertainment. The craft book was another story. It's clear she had a team of friends, family and ex-boyfriends invent the crafts and write directions of how to make the crafts. The book didn't have a unifying, cohesive thread, comically speaking, that made me laugh throughout.
My next book should be a philosophy, an examination of why I force myself to finish books that I hate.

[Laura Macy · Rating 1 out of 5]

If it were possible to give a rating below “1,” this deserves it. I really dislike this book. It’s not funny. It’s not clever. It’s not about crafting. Sedaris tries to conjure humor by pointing out others’ misfortunes. A friend recommended it, and many of the reviews are positive. I just don’t see why. It’s boring, an annoying, offensive kind of boring.

[Kim · Rating 1 out of 5]

I could barely finish this scattered, silly, boring coffeetable piece of nonsense. I generally love irreverent, snarky books, and I think Amy Sedaris is hilarious, but this book does not work. She's poking a great deal of fun at the crafting community. There is a veritable vomitous of gingham throughout, many bent-over-big-butt (clothed) pictures, about two dozen random recipes thrown in, a section on rabbit-proofing your home, and large chapter on craftastic sex that isn't really very funny, lots of Jesus-ribbing. But it's just not cohesive in its tone or topic. And she could have made it a hell of a lot funnier. It's just a mish mash of stuff and ends up being boring despite my desire to like it.

[Jason Koivu]

I got about a third of the way through and gave up. I'm just not into it. I love her brother's work, but hers just doesn't cut it for me. I think part of it is because I expect her to bring more of the funny and what she's doing here with this book is to bring a bit of the humor to a hobby that she enjoys. So part of my problem with it is that she's sincerely interested in crafting...and me? Not so much. I think a crafter would get quite a few laughs out of Simple Times. I'm not a crafter.

Rating: In fairness, I'm not going to mark this as read or give it a rating. Just wouldn't be right.

[Sara Lily · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have no idea who the audience for this book is, and further I'm confused as to how this got made. Obviously the author(s) had a lot of fun and enlisted a lot of talented people to create, stage, and photograph awful crafts reminiscent of the 70s. But intermixed with the parody are periodic actual instructions or half-recipes for real things. At one point I wanted to make one of the recipes, but ended up searching online for a better recipe when I decided I should probably not use any recipes when I wasn't sure when or if the source material was being facetious.

To me it seems like a waste of resources to use so much creative energy and potential for a half-hearted mix of satire. If it was to be a pure satire, it could have been much shorter and lower production value and just as effective for half the cost.

[Dave Schaafsma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amy Sedaris says ugly people do crafts and beautiful people have sex. :) This is a great and funny book with some actual crazy crafts you may want to try. It gets to be both craft book and a parody of craft books. Coffee table book, so that if you just were to see it, you would think it is straight craft. . . though it's by Amy Sedaris. . . and then there's that subtitle, Crafts for Poor People.

What's here? Glossy pics of Sedaris in various suburban housewife guises. Crab-claw roach clips, tinfoil balls, and crepe-paper moccasins. How to avoid the most common crafting accidents such as sawdust fires, feather asphyxia, pine cones lodged in the throat. . . Includes a Crafty Candle Salad recipe and others that just might help you be the hit of your neighborhood.. Pompom Ringworms! Seashell Toilet Seat Covers! Inspiring! Hilarious.!

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

This tongue-in-cheek guide to crafting is not for everyone. It jokingly gives tips and instructions on how to make various things, but never takes itself seriously, not should it. I loved the Ten Commandments of Crafting, which included, “Thou shalt not fill envelopes with glitter and confetti and send them through the mail.”

There’s one section that discusses “crafting for the hard-of-hearing.” Amy Sedaris literally yells this entire section on the audiobook, which is funny for about.02 seconds, and then it’s just awful. The country music and “woodchuck” parts are incredibly annoying on audio as well.

The chapter on “the craft of making love” was unexpected and unnecessary. I get why they thought it was funny, but it wasn’t really. It just took the book in a completely different direction, which wasn’t funny so much as it was odd.

Though there are some chuckle worthy bits, the overall impression is not a good one. Skip this one and read her other book, “I Like You,” especially if you can get your hands on an audio version.

"More than 8 out of 10 households have at least 4 out of 5 family members engaging in 2 out of 3 crafts 78% of the time. A staggering 98% of this group are homosexual men."

[Mayda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This craft book which targets crafts that poor people can afford to make is surely one-of-a-kind. And who better to explore the subject than Amy Sedaris! This audio version is enhanced by the sage advice of the Woodchucks, Gene and Jean, and by the musical interludes. You will learn about things that other craft books tend to ignore: the dangers of crafting, crafting for the handicapped and the insane, how to borrow others’ ideas when your imagination fails, crafts for rabbits, and so much more. So get out your leftover macaroni (uncooked, please) and glue gun (it’s just called that, no bullets, sorry), and have a craft-filled great time while you listen to this hilarious audio book.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Question from a 10 year old "If it's for poor people why is it $28?"

[Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a long time to get around to this book because I was disappointed that it wasn’t “I Like You” all over again. Delving a little deeper, it is very similar to “I Like You” after all, but the pleasures are smaller, less laugh-out-loud, but equally pleasing. There humorous sideswipes (inserting a winking aside into a serious statement) remain; to paraphrase an example: the problem with interior decorators is not that they are predominantly homosexual, but that they are so expensive. As the book continues, the idea of crafting gets stretched to its limit: crafting when disabled, the craft of storytelling, and making sausage. I recommend reading the book and listening to the audio version in conjunction with each other, but not at the same time because it gets confusing to try to match the words to the page. The audiobook is only two and a half hours, so I would listen to fifteen minutes on my way to work, then look at the pictures in the book during the slow moments of my workday. I would read ahead of where I had left off on the audiobook, then listen to that part while driving home. Presto! I finished the book in a few days. The book is so colorful and interesting that it was difficult to read at work unnoticed. I was hunched over something glossy like it was porno. Or someone would walk by and see the picture of a log cabin made out of sausages. Or the Crafty Candle Salad that is meant to look obscene (banana, mayo and a maraschino cherry sticking in a pineapple ring). On a personal note, I want to say how refreshing it is that Amy Sedaris continues to think googly eyes are hilarious.

[Miss · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok.

So, while I think Amy Sedaris is a talented, hilarious and quirky woman - I also sometimes find her humour depressing - same for her brother David(?).

While I laughed a few times -- especially at the pic accompanying the Joy of Poverty section! I mostly found the crafts to be gross and tragically sad -- people have that in their homes!

I'm sure I also didn't like it because it was sort of late 60's mid 70's kind of stuff that just looks dirty and dusty and yucky too me. I just kept picturing these sad homes of sad people whose lives had stopped in time -- and it really made me kind queasy.

If this sort of thing DOESN'T bother you - read the book!

I liked Jerri Blank much more -- Paul Dinello does make a few *ahem* interesting cameo appearances but I'd rather watch him as Mr. Jellineck (especially when he loses his face!){best episode, 2nd only to the Cult ep!!}

[Tressa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Since I'm not a crafty person, I didn't read and study this like I did Amy's I Like You cookbook, which is jampacked full of useful recipes and tips and still manages to be funny. Simple Times is a fun book to flip through, but I don't know who would make 90% of these crafts.

[Anne Jolly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very funny, parody craft book by the authors of I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. If you are expecting a serious crafting book which will teach you how to create amazing Christmas presents you have the wrong book. If you want a book that will make you laugh out loud then you have the right book. Many of the crafts are the kind of junky crafts you make a bad day camps – or even worse. For example the directions for “Rusty Nail Wind Chime” direct you to toss a bunch of nails into your yard, and collect them a few months later to string into a wind chime.

Along with the crafts she includes helpful advice. An entire chapter on Safety describes important safety rules, complete with lots of hilarious and bloody pictures showing what can happen to careless crafters. She has a section of gift giving, with helpful gifts suggestions for the kinds of people who are frequently left out of gift guides, like “Gift for a Nudist” and “Gifts for a Man You are Dating Who is At Least 18 Years Older Than You.” Some the chapters cover topics which are pretty tenuously connected to crafting, like rabbit care, making love and sausages, but they are funny.

I also want to mention how excellent the photography in this book is. There are color pictures on almost every page, and they are a large part of the humor of the book. The pictures make even the tacky crafts look good. There are lots of jokes in the pictures themselves, like the four pages of photos demonstrating how to stretch before crafting.

There are some real crafts, recipes and good ideas in the book. The recipes seem to be quite real also. I highly recommend this book, it is the funniest book I have read this year. If you like tongue in cheek humor and don’t take crafting too seriously it is worth reading. Just a warning though, it does contain some sex and drug humor.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Sedaris' previous book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. It was a real kick with some surprisingly helpful information. This new book was still really funny, but just not what I was expecting. I had really hoped to find some new, inexpensive crafts to make but instead, just found myself laughing at her "creations". It is NOT a book for kids.

The chapter "Making Love" is hysterical. The author states, "The craft of lovemaking is simple to initiate, yet difficult to accomplish. Even for the amateur crafter, the starting point is obvious: roll up the sleeves, take aim, and begin poking about the pubicly-tufted fleshy parts." The photos that accompany this chapter include a man in an extremely short yellow robe which only made me laugh harder.

The photography and instructions are very helpful if you desire to make things such as: Secret Treasure Box ~ Decorate the outside of a box you're fond of. Fill the secret box with irreplaceable sentimental treasures and keep in a safe place.

If you'd like to read more about Amy, you can check out her "unofficial" fan club.

[alana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh, Amy Sedaris. You are preciousness. But this book is like your crazy exploded, and someone caught a bunch of the pieces and published it.

What a weird, weird book. It’s not really a craft book since you’d never want to actually make any of the facetious crafts in it. It’s more of a photography book featuring portraits of Amy channeling characters (à la Cindy Sherman…kinda), but it’s a humor book also that features Amy’s stream of conscious quirk in a loose parody of how-to craft books. With the occasional recipe or poem thrown in for good measure.

With all that said, the cover is the most aesthetically pleasing image of the whole shebang, so it really might not need to be read. When I imagine this book being discovered 100 years from now, I just…really, how will it be interpreted?

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is in non-fiction part humor. Amy Sedaris has always had a great sense of humor. this is a humor craft and even recipe book. a fun read that offers tidbits of humor, some actual recipes, and ideas for crafts from objects you can find in your home. think the idea is these are projects that are not costly. I wish she had given more instructions with the craft ideas. some have instructions by most do not. I am not the craftiest person but i would have liked more instructions. this is a "for the fun of it book" I had a good laugh at some of her advice and opinions. although some were not funny to me and kind of in poor taste. but, oh well. we all have our ideas of what is funny. I may even try a few of the recipes. a *3.5*

[Mary BookHounds · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a craft book for people like me, totally untalented when it comes to hand made items, but would love to try them. I tried the cereal box bookmarks which turned out to be a little bit unwieldy and thick to actually use, but, hey, it was worth a try. I did find a use for all of the seed pods in my yard from sweet gum trees...stick toothpicks in them and spray paint them gold and call them stars or asteroids! Now that is fun! They would look awfully cute on a Christmas tree and perfect gifts for those people you don't like. This book is the answer for non parents to make stuff for parents who are constantly giving you artwork from their offspring to pay them back.

[Jaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did not read the blurb on the back of this audiobook so I thought I was getting a book about various crafts that Amy Sedaris enjoys doing. Instead, I got a sarcastic look at crafts and crafters. Fine by me. I thought most of the book was pretty funny. Some of it probably crossed the line of decency, but I'm pretty hard to offend, so I laughed at it. The only thing I didn't get was the chapter on sex. It didn't seem to fit the rest of the book; like it was thrown in for shock value. I could have done without that one. Everything else got quite a few giggles out of me and was a pleasant surprise.

[☆Dani☆ ☆Touch My Spine Book Reviews☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought I was receiving a book that was about doing crafts that I could do with my kid. After reading through this while at the doctor's office, I realized I was so foolish to not read the reviews for this book before reading it! Imagine my surprise and the wtf look on my face when I realized this book was filled with crazy adult humor and things I thought were mind boggling and that's saying a lot for me! Let's just say, I wasn't expecting a doodle of crazy sexual activity and then strange crafts about Jesus, as well. All in all though, it was full of shits & giggles and if you are looking for strange & raunchy humour about the reality of crafting then this book is for you!

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haha this book is so funny! I guess I fell for the joke because I was expecting a real craft book with some light humor. Nope, this is all silly crafts that no one in their right mind would actually make and some recipes thrown in for good measure. (Her recipe for clam chowder is to glue googly eyes onto a clamshell.) If you have a strange sense of humor and enjoy crafting this book will make you laugh your ass off.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colb...
(link to Amy promoting her book on The Colbert Report)

[Joanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is all kinds of crazy. It's pretty funny but not really the sort of book you read beginning to end. Still if you're looking for tips on how to build a skid row flop house for a mouse you've maimed in a mousetrap look no further. Also included -a Jesus beard you make w/ hair salvaged from your hairbrush, a hobo fireplace made w/ a tin can and a roll of toilet paper, and fake nails made w/ peanut shells.

[Meish · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Amy Sedaris. She has this random quirky campy humor that makes me go "WTF?" and then just laugh out loud. There's not only creative ideas of crafts for poor people, but also recipes, stretching exercises before doing crafts, advice for successful "fornicrafting", and making sausages. And hilarious photos featuring Paul Dinello, too. This book just makes me want to watch some more Strangers with Candy episodes, and glue googly eyes onto something.

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a peruser of craft websites, this book seriously cracked me up! I think one of my favourite crafts in here was the "candlesticks" - ie, drumsticks painted white with red tips stuck in candle holders. But there were lots of great things.

The library clerk who is in love with Amy Sedaris hunted this down for me to read. He says it cracks him up when people check the book out thinking it's a "serious" crafting book.

He really loves Amy Sedaris.

[Sarah Isgrig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely hilarious. I'd never read anything by her before but I was cracking up listening to this audiobook about crafting. It's all one big joke (I didn't know it was going to be like that until after I got into reading it) but it was a great one. I'd highly recommend it to anyone who likes to make things.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's like an nc-17 version of those child craft books I was subjected to as a kid,complete with tacky photos with odd lighting. Includes hilarious chapters on crafting injuries, sausages, and crafts for the bedroom. Definitely will entertain you, if not inspire you to craft.

[Teresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

my favorite: hotdogs on a rake.