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Click: The Magic of Instant Connections
You know the feeling. You meet someone new - at a party or at work - and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie.
In a word, you "click."
From the best-selling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we're involved in.
From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and 15 years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals - and companies - strive to achieve. After all, when you're in the "zone," you're happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged? Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job?
According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is.
In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to "click": the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five "accelerators" that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.
From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions.
A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall i...
©2010 Ori Brafman & Rom Brafman; (P)2010 Random House
In a word, you "click."
From the best-selling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we're involved in.
From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and 15 years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals - and companies - strive to achieve. After all, when you're in the "zone," you're happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged? Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job?
According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is.
In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to "click": the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five "accelerators" that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.
From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions.
A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall i...
©2010 Ori Brafman & Rom Brafman; (P)2010 Random House
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First published January 1, 2010
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July 7, 2010
Click was written in the same vein as Malcolm Gladwell's Blink and Outliers. Like Gladwell, the authors assemble empirical evidence to prove our universal capacity for greatness, but they do so with less verve, worse prose, and more cynicism. Their book is part of a growing genre that I consider MBA junk science, the distillation of lite social science into recipes for corporate success.
The authors collect anecdotes about meaningful and successful (and profitable) relationships, and they dissect each relationship to inspect its component parts. They fluff these examples with some unsurprising study conclusions (people prefer those similar to themselves!), and summarize with a handy how-to guide for “clicking” with other people (especially, it becomes clear, business partners).
Click is also peppered with an invented, needlessly buzzy vocabulary, meant to be absorbed into the parlance of sales executives a la “tipping point” and “long tail”. For example, people who “click” have “quick-set intimacy” and “resonance” and experience “personal elevation.” I might make the common-sense observation that fruitful relationships are borne of easy camaraderie and a tendency to encourage the best in one another. But that wouldn’t earn me lucrative speaking engagements at corporate retreats. So.
The authors collect anecdotes about meaningful and successful (and profitable) relationships, and they dissect each relationship to inspect its component parts. They fluff these examples with some unsurprising study conclusions (people prefer those similar to themselves!), and summarize with a handy how-to guide for “clicking” with other people (especially, it becomes clear, business partners).
Click is also peppered with an invented, needlessly buzzy vocabulary, meant to be absorbed into the parlance of sales executives a la “tipping point” and “long tail”. For example, people who “click” have “quick-set intimacy” and “resonance” and experience “personal elevation.” I might make the common-sense observation that fruitful relationships are borne of easy camaraderie and a tendency to encourage the best in one another. But that wouldn’t earn me lucrative speaking engagements at corporate retreats. So.
January 17, 2015
I agree with the previous reviewer that the book is one of many that are churned out based on trusted Gladwell's formula: breezy writing style and personal anecdotes linked to the results of the science experiments.
Obviously, the formula works and I do not object to using it per se, but the lack of depth and novelty in this one is quite disappointing. A few experiments are discussed but there is hardly a discussion on causality and the ambiguity in the interpretation of their results. Neither there any new insights from contemporary social psychology that would have made it a worthy read. The authors pretty much recycle the findings from a long stream of social psychology research - and anybody who is interested in a more in-depth discussion on the science of personal attraction would benefit much more from greatly referenced "Falling in Love: Why we choose the lovers we choose" by Ayala Malach Pines, for example. Yes, it is less sexy but oh so much more informative.
Plus, the book is confusingly titled. Only one chapter does actually discuss the on-the-spot "click". The rest of the book does not have to do anything with instantaneous connection and focuses on the well-known factors of proximity or similarity instead. One entire chapter is devoted to making a single point that some people are magic communicators by their nature - but no attempt is made to discuss what it might mean to be a "natural" people magnet, and without it, I see no value in stating something that is so incontestably obvious.
The breezy style is a great advantage of the book though: it is perfectly designed for an easy one-hour skim
Obviously, the formula works and I do not object to using it per se, but the lack of depth and novelty in this one is quite disappointing. A few experiments are discussed but there is hardly a discussion on causality and the ambiguity in the interpretation of their results. Neither there any new insights from contemporary social psychology that would have made it a worthy read. The authors pretty much recycle the findings from a long stream of social psychology research - and anybody who is interested in a more in-depth discussion on the science of personal attraction would benefit much more from greatly referenced "Falling in Love: Why we choose the lovers we choose" by Ayala Malach Pines, for example. Yes, it is less sexy but oh so much more informative.
Plus, the book is confusingly titled. Only one chapter does actually discuss the on-the-spot "click". The rest of the book does not have to do anything with instantaneous connection and focuses on the well-known factors of proximity or similarity instead. One entire chapter is devoted to making a single point that some people are magic communicators by their nature - but no attempt is made to discuss what it might mean to be a "natural" people magnet, and without it, I see no value in stating something that is so incontestably obvious.
The breezy style is a great advantage of the book though: it is perfectly designed for an easy one-hour skim
January 7, 2019
So many people are rating this book low here in goodreads and I stand on the complete opposite side. I saw this book while browsing in a bookstore and I guess I'm glad I randomly found it there and not on goodreads because I think the ratings/reviews would've impacted my decision to read this.
I found this book to be fascinating, fast paced and informative. This book discusses what it's like to click and connect with people, why it happens and how you can try to make it happen for you if you're up for experimenting. It questions the meaning behind it, it's reasoning, why it works with some people and with some it doesn't and it's impact on a personal and professional level. So much of what I've read I've experienced either firsthand or have had someone experiment those methods unintentionally on me and only now can I connect the dots and understand what has happened or why that it took the turn that it did and impacted me the way that it did.
Getting to understand humans and why we do certain things or why certain things happen or impact us the way it does fascinates me tremendously especially when it's regarding something that can not be touched but felt.
I found this book to be fascinating, fast paced and informative. This book discusses what it's like to click and connect with people, why it happens and how you can try to make it happen for you if you're up for experimenting. It questions the meaning behind it, it's reasoning, why it works with some people and with some it doesn't and it's impact on a personal and professional level. So much of what I've read I've experienced either firsthand or have had someone experiment those methods unintentionally on me and only now can I connect the dots and understand what has happened or why that it took the turn that it did and impacted me the way that it did.
Getting to understand humans and why we do certain things or why certain things happen or impact us the way it does fascinates me tremendously especially when it's regarding something that can not be touched but felt.
July 11, 2021
حالة من السحرية، وربما هالة من القدسية؛ تحدث لنا مع أشخاص دون آخرين، منذ الوهلة الأولى، أو لمراحل فيما بعد… يطلق الكتاب على هذه الحالة بالـ نقر click.
قبل وأثناء قراءتي للكتاب، كنتُ متطلّعة جدًا لمعرفة أو إدراك هذه الحالة التي لطالما حدثت لي، وشغلت تفكيري، وخصوصًا لتلك النماذج التي يقع بصري عليها للمرة الأولى وحسب، دون أي معرفة مسبقة لهذه الشخصية ولا حتى على مستوى الاسم. يحدث النقر ربما لأجزاء من الثانية؛ لا شعوريًا مع تباطؤ الزمن.
ولكن وفيما أقرأ الكتاب إلى نهايته ومع الكثير من التركيز واستحضار مختلف النماذج إلى ذاكرتي، وجدتُ أن النقر حالات ومستويات مختلفة -كما أشار إليها الكتاب-، ربما أشدّها ما ذكرتُه آنفًا، وتتدرّج أيضًا إلى مراحل فيما بعد، وأحيانًا أيضًا بطبيعة الجلوس والتحدث والانغماس في الكلام، والتي توصف بحسب الكتاب؛ الاحساس بالانخراط الكامل بالحيوية، والإثارة، والبهجة.
ما أكّده الكتاب بالنسبة لي، أي ما ارتبط بحسب فهمي الخاص، بأن حالة النقر -على الأقل الحالات الفورية منها-، هي حالة مشاعرية من الدرجة الأولى، أقصد بذلك أنها تحدث من منطلق شعوري-منطقي وليس العكس. وخصوصًا للجزئية التي تطرّق بشأنها حول التعمّق في العلاقة، والتي لا تحدث إلا بتجاوز الشعور بالخطر في الإفصاح عن النفس أو بأمور خاصة، ما يجعله عرضة أو منكشفًا أمام الآخر، وهي دعوة لارتباط أقوى في المشاعر والروح، ولتقوية روابط العلاقة وتصاعد مستوياتها.
وما لم أكن أنتبه له حقًا -أي على نحو دقيق-، هو ما ارتبط به النقر بحسب الكتاب بمستويات “قياس تأثير الارتقاء الشخصي”، بمعنى: أن الشخص الذي تنقر معه (وربما مع مجموعة)، تحدث بينكما حالة ديناميكية من الطاقة والفكر والمشاعر، تؤدي إلى خلق حالة إتصال من السعادة، الشغف والحماس، ما يساعد على إبراز أو تفجّر أفضل ما لدى الشخص من مواهب والخ… سواء لمرحلة معينة أو لمراحل متلاحقة ومتتالية، وذلك بحسب نمو العلاقة، والمحافظة على ارتفاع مستوياتها. سواء على مستوى الصداقة أو الحياة الزوجية، وربما لمستويات معينة في بيئة العمل.
وما جعل الكتاب أكثر تكاملاً بالنسبة لي، وهو عدم إكتفائه بما يحدث من نقر فوري مسبق أو حتى في الأثناء على نحو لا شعوري، وإنما أيضًا كيف تساعد أنت على خلق حالة من النقر مع الآخر، بما لا يخلو من وعي وإدراك، وبالتأكيد؛ المدمج مع الشعور. الصادق والحقيقي. ولا يمكن أن أتغاضى هنا عمّا جاء من جمالية الفصل الرابع: التدفق، والحضور. الاتصال، والنقر مع كل شيء.
وهناك حالات من وعي النقر، لا تخشى الاختلاف أبدًا. ومناسبة هذا السياق؛ أن الكتاب يثير جدلية التشابه والتضاد المرتبطة بالنقر، بأن النقر يحدث لوجود “التشابه”، أيًا كان هذا التشابه، وبحسب فهمي ظاهريًا كان أو باطنيًا، حسيًا أو عقليًا، وربما معًا، ورغم أنني امتعضتُ بدايةً من هذا التصنيف والرأي أو المعادلة، إلا أنها حقًا لم تخلُ من نظر.
وبالإضافة إلى عوامل وأسباب أخرى رائعة، ساعدت وتساعد على تكثيف وإحداث حالات النقر، لم يسعني ذكرها أيضًا: كتأثير البيئة والمكان والقرب.
قبل وأثناء قراءتي للكتاب، كنتُ متطلّعة جدًا لمعرفة أو إدراك هذه الحالة التي لطالما حدثت لي، وشغلت تفكيري، وخصوصًا لتلك النماذج التي يقع بصري عليها للمرة الأولى وحسب، دون أي معرفة مسبقة لهذه الشخصية ولا حتى على مستوى الاسم. يحدث النقر ربما لأجزاء من الثانية؛ لا شعوريًا مع تباطؤ الزمن.
ولكن وفيما أقرأ الكتاب إلى نهايته ومع الكثير من التركيز واستحضار مختلف النماذج إلى ذاكرتي، وجدتُ أن النقر حالات ومستويات مختلفة -كما أشار إليها الكتاب-، ربما أشدّها ما ذكرتُه آنفًا، وتتدرّج أيضًا إلى مراحل فيما بعد، وأحيانًا أيضًا بطبيعة الجلوس والتحدث والانغماس في الكلام، والتي توصف بحسب الكتاب؛ الاحساس بالانخراط الكامل بالحيوية، والإثارة، والبهجة.
ما أكّده الكتاب بالنسبة لي، أي ما ارتبط بحسب فهمي الخاص، بأن حالة النقر -على الأقل الحالات الفورية منها-، هي حالة مشاعرية من الدرجة الأولى، أقصد بذلك أنها تحدث من منطلق شعوري-منطقي وليس العكس. وخصوصًا للجزئية التي تطرّق بشأنها حول التعمّق في العلاقة، والتي لا تحدث إلا بتجاوز الشعور بالخطر في الإفصاح عن النفس أو بأمور خاصة، ما يجعله عرضة أو منكشفًا أمام الآخر، وهي دعوة لارتباط أقوى في المشاعر والروح، ولتقوية روابط العلاقة وتصاعد مستوياتها.
وما لم أكن أنتبه له حقًا -أي على نحو دقيق-، هو ما ارتبط به النقر بحسب الكتاب بمستويات “قياس تأثير الارتقاء الشخصي”، بمعنى: أن الشخص الذي تنقر معه (وربما مع مجموعة)، تحدث بينكما حالة ديناميكية من الطاقة والفكر والمشاعر، تؤدي إلى خلق حالة إتصال من السعادة، الشغف والحماس، ما يساعد على إبراز أو تفجّر أفضل ما لدى الشخص من مواهب والخ… سواء لمرحلة معينة أو لمراحل متلاحقة ومتتالية، وذلك بحسب نمو العلاقة، والمحافظة على ارتفاع مستوياتها. سواء على مستوى الصداقة أو الحياة الزوجية، وربما لمستويات معينة في بيئة العمل.
وما جعل الكتاب أكثر تكاملاً بالنسبة لي، وهو عدم إكتفائه بما يحدث من نقر فوري مسبق أو حتى في الأثناء على نحو لا شعوري، وإنما أيضًا كيف تساعد أنت على خلق حالة من النقر مع الآخر، بما لا يخلو من وعي وإدراك، وبالتأكيد؛ المدمج مع الشعور. الصادق والحقيقي. ولا يمكن أن أتغاضى هنا عمّا جاء من جمالية الفصل الرابع: التدفق، والحضور. الاتصال، والنقر مع كل شيء.
وهناك حالات من وعي النقر، لا تخشى الاختلاف أبدًا. ومناسبة هذا السياق؛ أن الكتاب يثير جدلية التشابه والتضاد المرتبطة بالنقر، بأن النقر يحدث لوجود “التشابه”، أيًا كان هذا التشابه، وبحسب فهمي ظاهريًا كان أو باطنيًا، حسيًا أو عقليًا، وربما معًا، ورغم أنني امتعضتُ بدايةً من هذا التصنيف والرأي أو المعادلة، إلا أنها حقًا لم تخلُ من نظر.
وبالإضافة إلى عوامل وأسباب أخرى رائعة، ساعدت وتساعد على تكثيف وإحداث حالات النقر، لم يسعني ذكرها أيضًا: كتأثير البيئة والمكان والقرب.
April 13, 2011
The ability to connect with so many different people is one part of my job as a librarian that I love. Sometimes, however, those connections are very powerful and extraordinary. You know when you are interacting with the other person that things are just – “clicking”. Whether it is with a total stranger, or a coworker as we work on a project, or a loved one, that sensation of connecting is almost magical. When you are clicking with another person you are able to bounce ideas back and forth without fear of judgment, you are able to communicate verbally and non-verbally, and things happen at a much higher rate than normal with higher levels of quality and success. The Brafman brothers have explored this phenomenon in the book Click. They have looked at academic literature on the subject, and also spoken with many successful people and have pinpointed several key characteristics that foster a greater sense of clicking.
Some people are known to be “schmoozers”, but this book points out that most people who foster the greatest degrees of clicking do so without the aim of gaining anything, they are just naturally curious and adaptable and therefore succeed at faster rates than others in the work force. The last three chapters of the book focus on real-world applications for becoming better tuned to the world around you in an attempt to click with a wider group of people. In other words, if it isn’t your natural state to “click” right away with others, then it gives some ideas for becoming a better “clicker.”
Some people are known to be “schmoozers”, but this book points out that most people who foster the greatest degrees of clicking do so without the aim of gaining anything, they are just naturally curious and adaptable and therefore succeed at faster rates than others in the work force. The last three chapters of the book focus on real-world applications for becoming better tuned to the world around you in an attempt to click with a wider group of people. In other words, if it isn’t your natural state to “click” right away with others, then it gives some ideas for becoming a better “clicker.”
April 30, 2015
The ability of people to just get along straight away is one of those things that is a mystery that has fascinated psychologists and sociologists for years. Recent research has started to uncover the details behind those moments when we form a lifelong connection to another person. They tell their story through a series on anecdotes and examples and looks at ‘accelerators’ that will enhance these click moments. The seven accelerators are vulnerability, proximity, resonance, similarity, environment, naturals and personal elevation. These factor strongly influence the way that people and teams with get along. One example that they gave was with a basketball team that generally failed to qualify for the NBA, but over a couple of seasons they had four players who ‘clicked’ and made the team much better than normal, even reaching the point of qualifying, but after they went their separate ways they never really achieved as much.
Written in a similar way to the master of the genre, Gladwell, it has some interesting stories, but all the way through it feels that you are reading a thin veneer rather than something with depth. That said, it was quite interesting, and really didn’t take long at all.
Written in a similar way to the master of the genre, Gladwell, it has some interesting stories, but all the way through it feels that you are reading a thin veneer rather than something with depth. That said, it was quite interesting, and really didn’t take long at all.
July 31, 2021
Brilliant. Short and concise. Not deep enough? Yes, but good for a start.
It is not just about "relationships" but the specific "click" type of relationships, which are the ones that happen almost instantaneously and you feel "in heavens" right from the start. Why they happen? and when? and with whom? Of course, backed with some science as well.
It is not just about "relationships" but the specific "click" type of relationships, which are the ones that happen almost instantaneously and you feel "in heavens" right from the start. Why they happen? and when? and with whom? Of course, backed with some science as well.
December 9, 2013
Ori does it again. This book is simply brilliant. It hits so many of the elements necessary for serendipity. Truly fantastic stuff. This is a must read.
September 8, 2017
About the book: Click delves into the miraculous topic of quick-set intimacy and explores what’s at work when we’re instantly drawn to some person or thing. It examines how and why clicking makes our life more meaningful and outlines the (very ordinary) factors that can make such “magical” connections more likely.
About the author: Together, brothers Ori and Rom Brafman have authored two New York Times bestsellers – Sway and Click. When not writing, Ori Brafman is an organizational business consultant and the co-founder of a network fostering peace and development projects. Psychologist Rom Brafman won awards for excellence in teaching and promoting positive human growth. He has a private practice in Palo Alto.
Clicking makes relationships special. clicking can lend a special quality to the relationships that it initiates
We perform better in the company of people we click with. who click are able to discuss difficult matters in a positive, constructive way
A team that clicks is also more creative and able to make unconventional, even daring decisions.
If you make yourself vulnerable to others, you're more likely to click with them. If you deliberately make yourself vulnerable by revealing your emotions, weaknesses and fears, you signal to other people that you trust them. In turn, those people will be more likely to trust you and instinctively reciprocate by making themselves vulnerable too.The openness that this promotes can lead to an intimate connection being established
Posing a series of probing and increasingly intimate questions.
When it comes to clicking, spatial proximity also plays a part. being near to someone facilitates spontaneous communication and that communication leads to bonding.
We’re more willing to connect with those who are similar to us. we tend to prefer people similar to ourselves.
Similarity bias - if you want to hit it off with someone, you should focus on your similarities or shared traits and characteristics
Final summary To improve a team’s performance, you can put them in a position where they must face a big challenge together and let them compete against another team.
About the author: Together, brothers Ori and Rom Brafman have authored two New York Times bestsellers – Sway and Click. When not writing, Ori Brafman is an organizational business consultant and the co-founder of a network fostering peace and development projects. Psychologist Rom Brafman won awards for excellence in teaching and promoting positive human growth. He has a private practice in Palo Alto.
Clicking makes relationships special. clicking can lend a special quality to the relationships that it initiates
We perform better in the company of people we click with. who click are able to discuss difficult matters in a positive, constructive way
A team that clicks is also more creative and able to make unconventional, even daring decisions.
If you make yourself vulnerable to others, you're more likely to click with them. If you deliberately make yourself vulnerable by revealing your emotions, weaknesses and fears, you signal to other people that you trust them. In turn, those people will be more likely to trust you and instinctively reciprocate by making themselves vulnerable too.The openness that this promotes can lead to an intimate connection being established
Posing a series of probing and increasingly intimate questions.
When it comes to clicking, spatial proximity also plays a part. being near to someone facilitates spontaneous communication and that communication leads to bonding.
We’re more willing to connect with those who are similar to us. we tend to prefer people similar to ourselves.
Similarity bias - if you want to hit it off with someone, you should focus on your similarities or shared traits and characteristics
Final summary To improve a team’s performance, you can put them in a position where they must face a big challenge together and let them compete against another team.
July 14, 2021
You meet someone at a party or say hello to a new co-worker, and things just click. Sometimes, one brief conversation evolves into something more.
In Click: The Magic of Instant Connections, author Ori Brafman explains the factors that determine whether a chance encounter has the makings of a lasting relationship.
Brafman and his co-author and brother, Rom Brafman, open the book with stories of unlikely connections. In one instance, the brothers explain how hostage negotiator Greg Sancier relies on that "click" to get his job done. Rather than approaching the hostage taker with force and intimidation, Sancier exposes his own vulnerabilities.
"He'll sit there, and he'll talk to the hostage taker for five, 10 hours," Brafman tells NPR's Neal Conan. When the hostage taker finally reveals something personal -- say, that he lost his mother -- Sancier uses that revelation as an opportunity. He empathizes, shares a similar story and builds trust out of tension.
That's when the hostage taker and the hostage negotiator click and begin to have a meaningful conversation.
According to Brafman, that vulnerability -- exposing a weakness of your own that another person reciprocates -- is a key click-causing factor.
Brafman explains how just about anyone can create a click out of shared vulnerability. The trick is forgoing conversations about the weather in favor of more probing questions.
He recommends asking questions like: "What's something meaningful that's happened to you in the last week?" Or: "Who are you feeling closest to in your family right now?" The key is authenticity and appropriateness, or the connection won't be formed.
Only then, he says, can you begin to experience the "magic" of incredible connectedness.
In Click: The Magic of Instant Connections, author Ori Brafman explains the factors that determine whether a chance encounter has the makings of a lasting relationship.
Brafman and his co-author and brother, Rom Brafman, open the book with stories of unlikely connections. In one instance, the brothers explain how hostage negotiator Greg Sancier relies on that "click" to get his job done. Rather than approaching the hostage taker with force and intimidation, Sancier exposes his own vulnerabilities.
"He'll sit there, and he'll talk to the hostage taker for five, 10 hours," Brafman tells NPR's Neal Conan. When the hostage taker finally reveals something personal -- say, that he lost his mother -- Sancier uses that revelation as an opportunity. He empathizes, shares a similar story and builds trust out of tension.
That's when the hostage taker and the hostage negotiator click and begin to have a meaningful conversation.
According to Brafman, that vulnerability -- exposing a weakness of your own that another person reciprocates -- is a key click-causing factor.
Brafman explains how just about anyone can create a click out of shared vulnerability. The trick is forgoing conversations about the weather in favor of more probing questions.
He recommends asking questions like: "What's something meaningful that's happened to you in the last week?" Or: "Who are you feeling closest to in your family right now?" The key is authenticity and appropriateness, or the connection won't be formed.
Only then, he says, can you begin to experience the "magic" of incredible connectedness.
July 13, 2010
Flimsy, but harmless. Outlines ~half dozen factors that can lead to instant, meaningful connections between people, such as proximity, vulnerability, similarity, resonance, etc. About a paragraph's worth of insight and not a totally coherent picture of this "instant connection" phenomenon, but the genial tone and modest interesting-ness of the anecdotes and studies makes it almost pleasant to go through. Feels like it's written for middle managers looking to feel productive in their airport reading.
July 20, 2010
It was pretty good; but it didn't go far enough. It doesn't research or give information on how to be the person to make relationships click.
May 31, 2019
The book focusing on relational connections. It seems to offer descriptive accounts of why some relationships are strong and others are not. I didn't come across anything revolutionary or actionable.
July 27, 2021
A simple book about one of the strangest emotional exchange. I found the book full of anecdotal evidences which made me feel bored. Nevertheless, mentioning some of the environmental, intimcy, and personal reasons behind the click.
March 30, 2023
so I still don’t know why ppl click
May 16, 2022
Great listen! This book provided insight into why people click and how to foster those clicks.
April 14, 2020
2.75 - I just didn't "click" with this book
April 13, 2015
We have all been in a situation — be it personal or professional — where we immediately ‘click’ with someone or something. Some of us have met a person who instantly feels like a soul mate. Others hear a piece of music and the artist is instantly a favorite. What causes our brains and emotions to feel this instant connection? Can we replicate it? Brother Ori and Rom Brafman explore these questions in, “Click: The Magic of Instant Connections”.
For those who have read “Sway” from the authors; the style and prose in “Click” will come as no surprise. Brafman and Brafman immediately jump into the text with no introduction (which goes against the template of the average psychology book); somewhat throwing the reader ‘off’. Yet, this sort of makes sense as “Click” is basically one long introduction, anyway. Meaning, that the prose of “Click” is entertaining and fun while the content is thin and simplified.
Elaborating on this, Brafman and Brafman fall victim (again) to overly trying to reach the general reader and presenting the subject matter on an almost ‘dummy’ level. Although the authors have a strong thesis of exploring why humans ‘click’ and the effects thereof; they fail in their execution. Even though experiments are mentioned; these are all secondary sources and the findings are presented in a rather thin way eschewing any hard-hitting science. Don’t expect a neuroscientific or biological analysis.
Another issue with “Click” is that it is very scattered. The authors display an absence of a thorough organization of ideas; jumping from one to the next. In fact, the text literally will say something along the lines of, “We will return to this momentarily” and either the Brafmans never do or it is very brief. This tends to break reader concentration and results in unanswered questions.
Also disappointing is that much of what is discussed in “Click” doesn’t resonate, isn’t memorable, or it seems far-fetched from the thesis. This adds to the weakness of the overall merit of “Click.
On a positive note, even despite the many flaws of “Click”; it is accessible and readable. The prose lacks scientific jargon and is almost narrative in stream making the pages whiz by. Also adding some strength to “Click” are the brief summaries at the ends of chapters, the flow charts at the beginnings, and the fact that even though “Click” has two authors; the tone is cohesive and one author doesn’t necessarily stand out from the author (unless when mentioning the other’s name).
The final chapter of “Click” attempts to recap and summarize the thesis and book’s findings. However, none of the information is striking and therefore doesn’t truly teach the reader anything. This conclusion is weak and summarizes an already loose book on a low note.
Sadly, “Click” is nothing more than a light (1-2 day max, read) introduction to the topic of instant connection. Even though the prose is readable; the content is not heavy-hitting and won’t satisfy those readers seeking a scientific backing to psychology. “Click” isn’t terrible but it is disappointing and won’t blow the reader’s mind away. Brafman and Brafman’s “Click” is only recommended for those readers who prefer a taste of psychology but on a very elementary level. Other than that, “Click” is skippable and not as strong as “Sway” from the authors (which was also somewhat weak but better than “Click”).
For those who have read “Sway” from the authors; the style and prose in “Click” will come as no surprise. Brafman and Brafman immediately jump into the text with no introduction (which goes against the template of the average psychology book); somewhat throwing the reader ‘off’. Yet, this sort of makes sense as “Click” is basically one long introduction, anyway. Meaning, that the prose of “Click” is entertaining and fun while the content is thin and simplified.
Elaborating on this, Brafman and Brafman fall victim (again) to overly trying to reach the general reader and presenting the subject matter on an almost ‘dummy’ level. Although the authors have a strong thesis of exploring why humans ‘click’ and the effects thereof; they fail in their execution. Even though experiments are mentioned; these are all secondary sources and the findings are presented in a rather thin way eschewing any hard-hitting science. Don’t expect a neuroscientific or biological analysis.
Another issue with “Click” is that it is very scattered. The authors display an absence of a thorough organization of ideas; jumping from one to the next. In fact, the text literally will say something along the lines of, “We will return to this momentarily” and either the Brafmans never do or it is very brief. This tends to break reader concentration and results in unanswered questions.
Also disappointing is that much of what is discussed in “Click” doesn’t resonate, isn’t memorable, or it seems far-fetched from the thesis. This adds to the weakness of the overall merit of “Click.
On a positive note, even despite the many flaws of “Click”; it is accessible and readable. The prose lacks scientific jargon and is almost narrative in stream making the pages whiz by. Also adding some strength to “Click” are the brief summaries at the ends of chapters, the flow charts at the beginnings, and the fact that even though “Click” has two authors; the tone is cohesive and one author doesn’t necessarily stand out from the author (unless when mentioning the other’s name).
The final chapter of “Click” attempts to recap and summarize the thesis and book’s findings. However, none of the information is striking and therefore doesn’t truly teach the reader anything. This conclusion is weak and summarizes an already loose book on a low note.
Sadly, “Click” is nothing more than a light (1-2 day max, read) introduction to the topic of instant connection. Even though the prose is readable; the content is not heavy-hitting and won’t satisfy those readers seeking a scientific backing to psychology. “Click” isn’t terrible but it is disappointing and won’t blow the reader’s mind away. Brafman and Brafman’s “Click” is only recommended for those readers who prefer a taste of psychology but on a very elementary level. Other than that, “Click” is skippable and not as strong as “Sway” from the authors (which was also somewhat weak but better than “Click”).
January 18, 2018
All about the ingredients for creating quickset intimacy (meaningful, deep, fast connections).
# Vulnerability. You've got to be vulnerable in order to encourage the other to do the same. There is no intimacy without vulnerability.
# Proximity. Physical proximity, not in terms of touching, but literally just seeing someone more than others, and the opportunities to talk create the chance for connections.
# Presence/flow. Seems obvious enough, but has to be said in these days. If you aren't focused on the person, are always distracted (by your phone, facebook, hobbies, etc.) then the other person isn't going to feel comfortable opening up.
# Similarities. Quantity of similarities versus the quality/significance of them.
Quick read, kept to the point. Used good examples and I was pleased that the author also discussed the benefits of having a group with quality connections. There is an increase in healthy disagreements, overall satisfaction with resolutions for all sides, encouragement to perform at a higher level, more openness, and more useful solutions.
# Vulnerability. You've got to be vulnerable in order to encourage the other to do the same. There is no intimacy without vulnerability.
# Proximity. Physical proximity, not in terms of touching, but literally just seeing someone more than others, and the opportunities to talk create the chance for connections.
# Presence/flow. Seems obvious enough, but has to be said in these days. If you aren't focused on the person, are always distracted (by your phone, facebook, hobbies, etc.) then the other person isn't going to feel comfortable opening up.
# Similarities. Quantity of similarities versus the quality/significance of them.
Quick read, kept to the point. Used good examples and I was pleased that the author also discussed the benefits of having a group with quality connections. There is an increase in healthy disagreements, overall satisfaction with resolutions for all sides, encouragement to perform at a higher level, more openness, and more useful solutions.
December 31, 2011
Have you ever met someone and immediately “clicked” with them? How did that make you feel? Brothers Ori & Rom Brafman describe this as “quick-set intimacy” - and they say we can increase the number of these connections we experience with others. They say there are benefits to “clicking” with people. First, clicking brings about a unique, almost euphoric state, one that we describe as “magical.” Second, it permanently alters the fundamental nature of the relationship. Last and least recognized, it can serve to elevate the personal abilities of all involved.
The Brafmans tell us the science behind clicking and describe “click accelerators” - summarized as follows: vulnerability, proximity, resonance, similarity, and shared adversity.
For those interested in increasing your “clickability” with others - whether for leadership, friendship, salesmanship, or romance - Click is an interesting and informative read. Recommend.
The Brafmans tell us the science behind clicking and describe “click accelerators” - summarized as follows: vulnerability, proximity, resonance, similarity, and shared adversity.
For those interested in increasing your “clickability” with others - whether for leadership, friendship, salesmanship, or romance - Click is an interesting and informative read. Recommend.
November 29, 2014
Short book on how people make connections with each other. I liked the way this one started, with two well written examples of two people quickly connecting. From there, the book delved into 7 ways that that kind of quick, long lasting connection is "accelerated" with more examples and research descriptions. This was a descriptive book - it explains these accelerators and describes the research behind coming up with them, but it doesn't really delve into using these in your own life. In fact, one of the accelerators is "you might be a born communicator", which doesn't lend itself to personal attainment through growth -- this isn't a self-help book. In looking back at people I've "clicked" with, I can see these accelerators at work, but I really don't see a lot of things that I actively could have changed for better results. Interesting for the examples, though.
December 31, 2014
Being a sophomore in high school, I am no stranger to the "real world" where no fairytales exist and love at first sight is not commonplace, but after reading Click, I am beginning to change my perception on human relations. From the studies provided in the text, the Brafmans display the powerful connections that two people can have from one encounter. The vocabulary was relatively simple, but it made it easier to attain the message that both authors were trying to send. Although repetitive at parts, it entertained my relatively short attention span and made me very interested in the field of psychology. I would recommend this book to anyone with small amounts of spare time that is willing to learn for pleasure.
January 6, 2011
This book failed to be either insightful, or educational. It was entertaining, and the stories were engaging. It felt like it had an overall message of (its important when things click) and (ain't it great when things click) and (try to do it yourself...)
It seemed like a book that was aware of it lack of substance, as if its main goal was to be inspirational, and enjoyable, so as to foster positive feedback in sheeple.
It seemed like a book that was aware of it lack of substance, as if its main goal was to be inspirational, and enjoyable, so as to foster positive feedback in sheeple.
May 29, 2012
Wow, just wow. This book should be read by everyone who is interested in people, at all. I wanted the information so I could use it in my characterizations, but it's also brilliant for every other aspect of life where we interact with people. It should be required reading for anyone in business. I can't believe how many great tips and studies the authors presented, and all in a very, lay person kinda way. READ IT (or listen to it in the car, like I did). Then apply it to your everyday life.
September 22, 2016
Click has been discussed it seems forever. Brafman explores the components of the process of clicking especially the similarities and differences of the two persons and the manner in which they click. Even though the subject matter was not new, I found it very interesting. He cited research for each of his suggestions.
February 25, 2017
Heel lief cadeautje van een vriendin. Prima, vlot geschreven boekje over factoren die helpen bij een klik. Momenteel heb ik zelf niet echt een klik met dit onderwerp maar ik heb er toch met plezier een paar uurtjes aan verwijld.
September 19, 2022
So interesting! I didn't know what to expect but the Communication major in me really enjoyed this book and the different accelerators they discuss for why you "click" with someone. A short, interesting, and very accessible read that is well worth the time.
April 1, 2012
This is a great book about the magic we sometimes feel when strongly connecting with others and how to bring that to more connections!
November 28, 2015
I loved this book - it goes into the research behind the factors that contribute to people connecting.
It's very interesting, and there are insights that you can use in your own life.
It's very interesting, and there are insights that you can use in your own life.
August 4, 2016
I was underwhelmed. The book observes these factors that increase chance of "clicking": vulnerability, proximity, "resonance", environment, and some people are just natural magnets.
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