Far from Xanadu

by Julie Anne Peters

From the author of Luna comes this heartbreaking yet hopeful novel about a small-town girl who falls in love with the cool, complicated, and sexy new girl in town, but who is just out of reach.

In this fresh, poignant novel Mike is struggling to come to terms with her father's suicide and her mother's detachment from her family. Mike (real name Mary Elizabeth) is gay and likes to pump iron, play softball and fix plumbing. When a glamorous new girl, Xanadu, arrives in Mike's small Kansas town, she falls in love at first sight. Xanadu is everything that Mike is not - cool, confident, feminine, sexy and - straight! No matter how close their growing friendship is, Mike is always going to be 'far from Xanadu'.

Following the success of Luna, Julie Ann Peters' has written a heartbreaking, yet ultimately hopeful, novel which will speak to anyone who has ever fallen in love with someone who can't love them back

Genres: LGBT, Young Adult, Queer, Fiction, Romance, Lesbian, Contemporary

288 pages, Hardcover

First published May 4, 2005

About the author

Julie Anne Peters was born in Jamestown, New York. When she was five, her family moved to the Denver suburbs in Colorado. Her parents divorced when she was in high school. She has three siblings: a brother, John, and two younger sisters, Jeanne and Susan.

Her books for young adults include Define "Normal" (2000), Keeping You a Secret (2003), Luna (2004), Far from Xanadu (2005), Between Mom and Jo (2006), grl2grl (2007), Rage: A Love Story (2009), By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead (2010), She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not... (2011), It's Our Prom (So Deal with It) (2012), and Lies My Girlfriend Told Me (2014). Her young adult fiction often feature lesbian characters and address LGBT issues. She has announced that she has retired from writing, and Lies My Girlfriend Told Me will be her last novel. She now works full-time for the Colorado Reading Corps.

Reviews

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading a fascinating study of library services to GLBTQ teens for one of my classes ([http://www.slais.ubc.ca/RESEARCH/curr...]), I started reading more of the literature being written for this young adult population. Far from Xanadu is one of the most recent and possibly my favorite so far, largely owing to the unique voice of its narrator, Mike Szabo - a 16-year-old girl.

Nee Mary Elizabeth - but don't call her that unless you want a knuckle sandwich - Mike and her best friend, Jamie, have always been different from other kids in Coalton, Kansas. But unlike many small-town populations in GLBTQ teen fic, Coalton's residents don't take much notice of Mike and Jamie's gender-bending ways (Mike works out to look more like a guy; Jamie is a cross-dressing male cheerleader), nor the implications for their sexuality. Mike makes it clear that she's accepted, if not completely understood, and that she's never felt like an outcast - one of only a few details that ring true about rural Midwestern life as seen through the eyes of a hometown girl.

But Coalton isn't utopia, and Mike isn't completely comfortable in her own skin. She struggles to make sense of her beloved father's suicide, make decisions about the failing family business and her future as a softball star, and deal with falling in love with someone who couldn't be worse for her - a new girl in town, Xanadu, beautiful and worldly but impossibly straight.

Mike's matter-of-fact attitude about her sexuality is refreshing, as is the portrayal of small-town middle America, for once cast as close-knit (if insular) rather than simply closed-minded. Mike's coming of age crisis of identity and unrequited love story is relatable for gay young adults, but will also be appealing to any teen looking for a straight-shooting heroine and a down-home yarn.

[Angie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretend You Love Me touches on a lot of interesting and important topics, but I never connected with Mike at all, which is a huge problem for a character driven novel. Mike is just going about her life: work, school, trying not to think about her father's suicide. Then Xanadu transfers to her school, and Mike cannot keep her eyes or thoughts off of her. After a bit of an awkward first meeting (Xana thinks Mike is a guy), the two become fast friends, although Mike wants more and thinks Xana might too. Is that just wishful thinking or is something really between them?

I'll start with why I didn't like Mike. She puts her pride before anything else. I have said this many times before, but I'll say it again: I do not like characters who refuse help when they need it! Mike doesn't want to be a charity case, and that's perfectly understandable. But people genuinely want to help her go to softball camp. She lives in a small town where everybody knows everybody. These people have watched her grow up, have seen her play, and want to see her go on to do great things. Her reaction to the "can-paign" came across as very ungrateful to me. It's not like she asked or begged anyone to pay her way. Someone just thought she deserves it and set this all up, after Mike flat out refused to apply for financial aid (again because of "charity"). It's just very frustrating to me, especially because Mike doesn't always charge for her repair services, or accepts payments that are way under what she should be paid. Why is she allowed to act charitably toward her townspeople, but no one is allowed to do the same for her?

Aside from Mike's dream of playing professional softball, Pretend You Love Me mainly focuses on her feelings toward Xanadu. Xana is straight, and she's never given any impression that she was otherwise. Mike is just so infatuated with her that she's seeing something that's not there, and not seeing what everyone else can see. Even her best friend, Jamie, points out that Xana is never going to love her like that. Xana is quite insensitive to Mike's feelings, too. She goes on and on about her boyfriend even though she knows how Mike feels. She's also a manicpixiedreamgirl if there ever was one. Mike hides things about herself, does thing out of character, all to impress the goddess that is Xana. I'm sure we've all been there at some point.

There's also a lot of talk of grief, depression, and addiction in Pretend You Love Me. Mike's father committed suicide two years ago. He was also an alcoholic. Mike's family has never been the same since he died. Her mother became morbidly obese, stopped talking to Mike at all, and just sits in her room eating day in and day out. Mike is just sooo angry at her mother's behavior, but it isn't until a confrontation later in the book that she comes to understand why her mother is this way. Her brother, who comes across as a total prick at first, actually becomes a great voice of reason and a support to Mike once she lets him.

Pretend You Love Me does have a lot of good qualities and messages in it. For me though, I just could not get passed how Mike reacts to people wanting to help her. It's okay to be independent, but she's all about her. She doesn't look at how it makes others feel good to do something good for one of their own. I also didn't like how she talked bad about Jamie for being on the more flamboyant side. They're the only (out) gay people in their town, but she doesn't like having the same label as him, because of how it acts. I totally get that she's not at the same level of comfort with her sexuality as he is, but she really shouldn't shame him for being himself just because she's not being herself.

Read more of my reviews at Pinkindle Reads & Reviews.

[- ̗̀ jess ̖́- · Rating 2 out of 5]

[review written 2011]

I read the book Far From Xanadu by Julie Anne Peters today. It was a good book, but not as good as Keping You A Secret. I’d write a more indepth review but I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.

[Audreyanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is freaking amazing. It is just the right amount of difficulty so that you have to use your brain powere to understand what's going on at first, but once you catch on it's not too difficult to keep up. It is a little sad... this is a trend of mine if you didn't notice, but the rest of the story made up for it. I don't wish to give anything of the plot away, and I warn you not to read the back to give it away. It's best to figure it out on your own. But it is amazingly written, and intriguing story with a few times when I had to cry. Maybe you won'tthough... I might just be wierd like that.

[El Perry · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mike Szabo, teenaged baby dyke living in small town Kansas, is dealing with the suicide of her father, the rest of her fucked up family, and the fact that she'll be stuck in said small town for the rest of her life. The novel starts with the introduction of a love interest(?), a straight girl from out of town named Xanadu.

Mike falls in love with Xanadu the moment she sees her, but throughout the novel, it's hard to glean the reasons behind this other than Xanadu being hot. She's not a particularly likeable character, condescending of Coalton, Kansas but opting to stay after more insta-love between her and Mike's male classmates, much to Mike's dismay. By far the deepest thing about her is her reason for coming to Coalton, but as it was used more as a plot point to drive her relationships with Mike and Bailey along, it felt like a wasted opportunity to explore her emotional depths.

Most upsettingly, it soon becomes clear that not only will Xanadu never share Mike's feelings, she'll jerk her along. Mike's delusion is kind of kind of annoying, especially directed at someone who is legit kind of evil (still angry about the conclusion of that relationship).

A strange narrative decision is Mike's self-image. On the one hand, she is clear comfortable in her attraction to women and has no issue with dressing in a gender non-conformative manner, not even getting upset at being mistaken for a guy. On the other hand she apparently refuses to accept the word "gay" in relation to her and hates that her friend Jamie "flaunts" his own sexuality. Not the book's biggest flaw, but there was a dissidence here that struck me as odd.

The most compelling aspect of "Pretend You Love Me" was not the titular conflict but Mike's familial conflicts, specifically her grief over her father's death. They are described as inseparable, and the ambivalent cocktail of Mike's love for him, emptiness and grief at the loss of him, and anger at his choosing to go is heart-wrenching. Also intriguing is the dynamic between her and her brother. Though Mike sees Darryl as not only useless, but almost as responsible for her hopeless prospects in life as her father, there are hints early on that he's a better guy than she realizes. Less satisfying is the one moment of communication between Mike and her horribly neglectful mother. Not even (briefly) touched upon mental illness could make me sympathetic to a woman so horribly neglectful of her high school aged child, seeing as she was perfectly capable of a relationship with the adult kid she wasn't even responsible for.

Mike's one way out, her escape from all the fuckery in her life, is a softball camp, which is meant to be a stepping stone to a college scholarship and a professional career. But, hardened by her father's death, she resists any financial assistance from the more than willing townspeople, and scoffs at the mere idea of higher education. This is more inexplicable behavior -- an unprecedentedly talented athlete refuses to further pursue a sport she loves to play on the basis of self-reliance and something about dreaming being stupid. But -- Is softball any more delusional than 100% of her interactions with Xanadu? Is it really a show of stubborn self-reliance to refuse to have any dreams or ambitions in life due to the absence of someone else (her father, but still)?

Jamie was probably the best of the main characters, which honestly didn't take much. His queerness/acceptance of his queerness was refreshing. His relationship with Shane was equal parts creepy and sweet, but it gets points for leading to a detour out of Coalton. Most importantly, he saw through Xanadu, which, again, didn't take much, but it was nice that he was looking out for his Mike, even if it wasn't necessarily appreciated.

In short, Mike is kind of an idiot, and most of her loved ones except for Jamie are kind of the worst. But you still gotta feel bad for her situation, and it was nice to see her ultimately get a chance at a future.

In even shorter, it was pretty okay.

[Shaya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would give this book a 3.5 if that were possible. Far From Xanadu has a different feel from Julie Anne Peters's other books. The writing seems more choppy, maybe? I thought this was better than Keeping You a Secret, not as good as Luna or Between Mom and Jo. I liked the emotional side of it and the pacing. It didn't seem as fast a read as some of her other books were.

Mike is a likeable narrator and main charactor. I enjoyed watching her develop as a character. Her brother, Daryl, also grows in the book and you learn more about Jamie, her closest friend as the book progresses. I thught the Jamie and Shane(?) scene was really cute. Jamie makes the book more fun and gives Mike someone to exchange insults and banter with. I liked Xanadu in the beginning but as it became more obvious what she was doing I started to really dislike her.

One problem with the book is how many of the characters fit into their stereotypes, softball playing, weightlifting, boyish appearance, lesbian Mike; sexy, beautiful, playful, risky, citygirl Xanadu; Jamie who fits the gay man stereotype. The characters are developed but do remain in their stereotypes.

I was surprised at how supportive the small town of Coalton, was. Jamie and Mike were accepted and there was never any hostility mentioned in the book. That didn't fit the oppressive small town often written about.

Anyone who has had a crush or fallen in love with someone out of reach can relate to this book. But it seems that the kindest thing for the person to whom the crush is directed is if they don't lead you on.

[Best Lesfic Reviews · Rating 3 out of 5]

A coming-of-age novel, this one has a troubled protagonist, Mike (Mary Elizabeth) who is struggling to come to terms with her beloved father’s suicide and completely broken down relations with her mother and brother while being in something of a denial about her own sexuality. Enter glamourous Xanadu, a new girl in her class. Sexy, straight, feminine, bad girl Xanadu. Naturally, Mike is besotted.

This book will resonate with every girl who has fallen for a straight girl. Who has believed that doggedness will turn the straight girl. Who has bought the lie that people want love more than anything else.

Read the full review @https://bestlesficreviews.blogspot.co...

[Julianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a short coming of age story about a girl named Mike struggling with her Dad's suicide. I actually liked Mike a lot, she was very angsty but I felt like she was a complex character. I wasn't a fan of most of the side characters, except Jamie. Xanadu was incredibly annoying, and I could feel how everything she was doing was an act (just like Jamie said it was). I think the ending really highlighted the relationship Mike had with her brother, Darryl. She was very hostile towards him throughout the book, but them having a heart to heart about the Can-paign and their dad was really touching.

[maani · Rating 5 out of 5]

AAAA this book was so heartbreaking. I connected really well with Mike the main character because she also finds it difficult to give in and ask people for help. The tragedy of falling for a straight girl doesn't help matters for her, and reading it was a bittersweet experience (sometimes more bitter than sweet). It's emotional, moving, difficult in places, but ultimately so worth the read.

[Sofia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I actually quite enjoyed this book. I felt that Mike was definitely a complex character, and enjoyed reading about her coming of age story. I sort of had this feeling from the beginning of the book that Xanadu was just making everything a big act, and was sort of fake, so I didn't like her. When Mike kept falling for her, it just made me sort of angry that Mike couldn't see who Xanadu really was. I really liked Jamie and admired that he was a good friend to Mike and told her the truth. I also found Jamie and Shane very cute together. I also really enjoyed the ending and felt that Mike's talk with Daryl really rounds out the whole book, and it was very sweet that Daryl created the Can-paign for her.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my second Julie Anne Peters book. Pretend You Love Me is about a lesbian girl named Mike who loves to work out, play softball, and fix plumbing in her small Kansas town. She also has a best friend named Jamie who is also gay--but much more outspoken and flamboyant about it than she is. Mike is still dealing with her father's suicide and mother's detachment (and growing weight problem) when a new girl named Xanadu moves to town. Mike immediately falls for Xanadu and soon learns the heartbreak of loving someone who will never love you back.

At first, I didn't like this. Mike's POV seemed odd. However, as I got into it, I began to understand and sympathize with her a lot better. This is my first book with a lesbian as the MC (besides Pretty Little Liars, which isn't first person and has four MCs). It was really interesting and Peters shows that regardless of what some might think, Mike is just like any other teenager. Things hurt her. She wants to be accepted and loved.

I really enjoyed Mike's story and the heartbreaking relationship between her and Xanadu. At times I liked Xanadu but at others I really didn't. I loved the relationship between Mike and Jamie and also how the people in town treated them with LOVE and acceptance. I can think of other towns that wouldn't be as tolerant.

This is a pretty deep book. Mike has to deal with a lot of things. I couldn't believe how her mother acted toward her and how she let herself gain so much weight that she couldn't leave the house or do a lot for herself. It's something I've never seen in a book before. Suicide is also not easy, especially when a loved one does it without leaving any reason. I didn't like Mike's brother much but he surprised me in the end.

This is a touching, complex story that well deserves 4 stars, a rating I never imagined this would get when I first started reading it. The characters are realistic and often times flawed, the emotion is real and gritty, and Peters has a very beautiful way of writing. I can't wait to read more by her.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I hate to mark a Julie Anne Peters novel so low, because I have a lot of affection for her work. Her YA novel, "Keeping You a Secret" is dear to my heart, and she's further shown her ability to write subtle, emotionally honest fiction in her shorter pieces. "Far from Xanadu" did not even come close to throwing me off the Peters bus, but something about it just didn't connect for me. The concept--LGBT youth falls for a straight girl--is intriguing; loving someone who cannot love you back is a unique pain that, I think, all human beings can relate to on some level. Even if it's never happened to you, it only takes an average imagination to identify with how it must feel; and, speaking for myself, I did feel for Mike. I felt for her enough to stick with her for the whole ride, which is half the battle for any book.
The part that didn't work for me, personally, was the pacing. I felt like this one was a bit longer than it needed to be. Although I appreciate the novel's attempts to develop a more complex plot than its premise would suggest, it might have benefited from spending more time on the relationship that constituted the core conflict and a little less time on the sub-plots and details.

That said, I am actually glad that I picked this up, because my affection for the author made this title a great source of curiosity for me. The pleasure of having that curiosity satisfied--of knowing what it’s like, rather than wondering--is its own reward, and my criticisms of this piece won't dampen my interest in her other work.

[Private · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this book is a fast read it is also a serious read. Mike (born Mary Elizabeth) Szabo is a dedicated student, an outstanding softball player and a good friend to her best friend Jamie, the town's flaming male cheerleader. She is also tortured by her father's suicide, her mother's morbid obesity and refusal to acknowledge Mike's presence, and her brother's neglect of the family business. Enter Xanadu, a new girl (orientation? straight.) in school with a troubling past who sparks an immediate reaction from Mike. Here begins a dubious friendship.

At first glance this story appears to be no more than another doomed teen romance with a confused gay teen in the mix but it is really a study of serious issues including morbid obesity, alcoholism, and sexual/gender identity. When I first began reading it I thought the author put too much into it. How realistic is it for a girl bulking herself like a boy, struggling with her sexuality to have so much stacked against her? But the truth is that sometimes the cards are stacked heavily against one person and the way the issues are treated makes the story somehow believable, perhaps because (to me) it didn't seem overdone. I cannot say that I would use this in the classroom but this story does not shy away from serious issues, treating them realistically and without condescending "pat" solutions to the readers. I would definitely have this on my shelf.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

After her father's untimely death leaves so many loose ends that all threaten to strangle her, Mike is wondering how to believe in a future again. Is she relegated to staying in her small town, working at the Merc and sneaking in projects of fixing sinks and toilets as an unlicensed plumber for the rest of her life? Is her only chance at love with a wild, new girl who seems more interested in snagging the attention of the local "cowboy?" Or does being a star fast-pitch softball player hold the key to opening up new windows of opportunity for Mike? And if so, is she brave enough to take them?

While the novel covers some interesting territory–suicide, grief after trauma, dysfunctional families, substance abuse, fully and freely coming out in small-town America, etc.–much of this story gets lost in unriveting descriptions of softball games, drunken misadventures, plumbing projects and hopeless lusting. The ending is fairly anti-climatic and mostly unsatisfying after all the mess we've endured the whole novel, and it's hard to find yourself caring for characters you're supposed to suddenly see as the good guys after the whole novel has done its best to show you all their warts. The best character in the book is Mike's best friend, the loveably flamboyant Jamie, who proves to be the most loyal of friends and who takes a bold and brave chance at romance online. I'd want to read much more of *his* story.

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Mike" (Mary Elizabeth) Szabo finds herself falling for the new girl, Xanadu. The problem is, Xanadu is straight, and manipulative. Mike is in denial for most of the book, about a number of things: grief over her father's suicide that she still needs to work through, her sexuality, enormous opportunities in her future, the support and love for her in the community, her brother's concern for her, his struggle and grief, the truth behind her mother's obesity, and the fact that Xanadu will never love her "that way." Despite the novel being chock full of problems (if there were ever a quintessential problem novel, this might be one), there is a hopeful ending and a refreshing depiction of an accepting, loving small town community.

[Kyle Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being someone apart of the LGBT community, I really was excited to see this book. When I read it, I really thought that it was a page-turner, and I thought that there were some parts that were really cool. I loved the characters, I loved the character Mike and for the most part I could relate to pretty much everything that she was feeling. On the other hand, I hated Xanadu, she was the kind of person that I would never fall for, no matter what. I was actually appalled at how easily and how blindly that Mike had fallen for her. The character Jamie, was also pretty cool, I could relate with him too, with trying to find love in the way that he did.

In the end, this book was amazing.

[Trisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strong, silent and suffering. Mike is one of the more intense protagonists I have seen in a while. She barely speaks in the novel, but we can feel her pain exquisitely. The small town is depicted in a balanced and loving way. Mike & Jamie are not excluded or made to feel different. The family dysfunction is allowed to develop naturally through the narrative, and Xanadu, although pivotal, is clearly shallow and not worth our time. Wish Mike could have reached understanding a bit sooner. Ah, but first love. It is what it is. Painful and poignant.

[Tempy · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you’re looking for a queer romance, look elsewhere. If you’re looking for masc lesbian falls in love with femme straight girl (who totally plays her heart strings) this book is perfect for you.

Far From Xanadu wasn’t necessarily a bad book, it dealt with issues such as suicide, homophobia, drug abuse, and life in a small town. It just wasn’t anything.

Mike was a likeable enough character, but her story with Xanadu was just predictable, and the lessons learned were exactly what you’d expect - unworthwhile.

[Jen Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I agree with other reviews that this small Midwestern town is a little too good to be true. That said, this is yet another sensitive look at growing up queer from Julie Ann Peters. I don't want to mention my favorite aspect of the book because it's an absolute spoiler, but if anyone else has read past the first 50 pages or so, let me know and we can chat about it - because it RULES.

[Swankivy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't relate to this very well, being that I've never had a crush on someone who didn't feel the same way, but the sad story of a reluctant lesbian with a crush on a straight girl was thought-provoking and inspiring as well. I thought Mike was a cool main character. :)

[Rebecca Luebcke · Rating 2 out of 5]

The only character I liked in this book was the best friend. The other characters just made me so mad. And I know you aren't supposed to like every character in a book, I just happened to like most in this one. It was real. I just didn't like the characters reality.

[Ollie Bradshaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will make feel for Mike as he goes for the Xanadu.

[Amory · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was interesting to have this story told from the perspective of someone who, despite already being out, hasn't accepted her sexuality. Mike's mom pissed me off though, as did Xanadu.

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I read it in my teen years when I was coming to terms with being gay. I had recently lost my aunt, whom I was really close to. I really related to Mike the main character.

[maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

more butch mcs please

[Linh Nguyen · Rating 3 out of 5]

In my humble opinion, this book was fascinating to read but the father I go the more downgrade it gets and should receive 3 out of 5 stars. My three main reasons for this rating is because of the prompt, the main theme, and how the writer expresses her writing.
If I were to rate just the first ⅓ of the book, I would give that part 4 out of 5 stars mostly because of the first impression. The characters are Mike, Xanadu, Jamie, Darryl. They live in a small town name Coalton in Kansas. The way the author tells the story was different and push a lot toward only the love story that she lacks all the surrounding of the main character. The readers are effectively introduced to the central theme liking someone who doesn’t love you back. However, I feel like the book doesn’t have to be this long and the author kept making repeating a similar event. And my favorite part of this section was when Darryl proposed to Charlene but she was young and doesn’t want to live a life on the road, I liked it because it shows how young love and blind you could get. Another good plot was Jamie, Mike’s friend who is also gay and Mike can actually relate to someone which made the story not too heartbreaking.
For the second ⅓ of the book, I would rate it 3 out of 5 stars mostly because the author focuses too much on a topic which made it desperate to read. In this middle section of the book, Xanadu found out that Mike was a lesbian and is giving Mike a feeling to like her more. The characters are blinded that they mistreat their family and friends around them. The way the author tells the story was mischievous and she beat around the bushes a lot. And my least favorite part of this section was when Xanadu accidentally point out that Mike looks so gay, after that she apologize but it would give some audience a bad feeling. Xanadu also knew about Mike’s feeling but she kept on mentioning her boyfriend.
Finally, in the last ⅓ of the book, I would give it a 3 out of 5 stars simply because the ending was a happy ending. When I get towards the end of a book, I expect the author to end the story in happiness and this author makes a heartbreaking twist just around 2 chapter from the end. In the end, after all the controversy of the relationship, Mike didn’t end up in a happy state with Xanadu but receive a good relationship with her brother, Darryl, when he gave her advice. My favorite part of this ending was it gave out a really good note on the theme of loving someone when the author talks about how Mike was so nauseous and worry before the D-Day, it was a really good way of description. Mike beat around the house at night with her dad’s flashlight hoping for the best outcome that would happen on the road trip. If I could change one thing about the way the author ended this book it would be to make Mike personality become better because throughout the story Mike is just very harsh to everyone including her friends and family. The author also made a first love so heartbreaking and hopeless.
After reading this book, I have grown as a reader because now I can manage my time better and actually not procrastinate to read a book. It is clear that the author is trying to send a message with her book as well, and I believe that message is that young love and hard acceptance of society can end on a happy note. I agree with this message because everyone has the ability to love and get love. In conclusion, I would not recommend this book for my peers just because I can’t relate to the LGBT community so it gave me a hard time liking the book itself.

[Dee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book =/ I mean, who hasn't been there, falling for someone unattainable? I could understand the main character's nature, but her pride, and her outright meanness to everyone except her hopeless crush made me want to smack her upside the head and tell her not to be so delusional. Usually, I don't hate a character so much, but Mike, formerly Mary Elizabeth, out of Far from Xanadu, aka Pretend You Love Me? Yep. I hated her. XP

I mean, I get it. Her dad drank and committed suicide. Her mother is a neglectful woman that doesn't even try to reach out and raise her, since she has her own problems. Her older brother had such promise, but somehow fell short of everyone's expectations, and ended up in a nowhere kind of situation. She lives in a small town where everyone knows her and her life story. She has a hard time opening up to anyone, and only has one good friend, a gay boy that's more out than she is. So she has a tough life...but..never have I wanted to scream at a fictional character, lol. XD

The girl that Mike has a huge crush on, Xanadu, is unthinkably straight. She's got a thing for one of Mike's male classmates, and has never shown interest in any girl, so Mike's delusion that she has any chance at all...it just rubs me the wrong way. She's prideful, and can't accept a helping hand from anyone. She's mean and spiteful to her mom, her brother, her best friend, who have been there more than Xanadu, who's just a temporary fixture, staying in Mike's small town with her aunt and uncle while she had big time problems at home. Mike doesn't think of anyone else's emotions but her own. She does get a little better in the end, and wises up (thank goodness), but after a several dozen chapters of watching her pant after this girl she was never going to have, and hurt everyone else in her life for it...I don't know how I managed to get through this book without closing it and throwing it against the wall in frustration.

The only good parts I enjoyed was Mike's friend, Jamie, who was adorable and funny and had no shame about being gay. He was there for her when she was being super witchy, and I loved him for that. I would've liked to seen more of his relationship with Shane, because at least he wasn't paddling up the river of Denial. I also liked Mike's brother. Sure, it seemed like he didn't care, but he did. More than Mike knew. He didn't want her to start drinking like their dad. He took care of their mother, and tried to keep the family together and a roof over their heads. He saved money up for Mike to be able to go to softball camp, and even started up a donation drive for her, while she's being a bitter, ungrateful, whiny brat. But unfortunately, that was the only parts of the book that I liked!

I've never read a book that I truly disliked, and a character I hated...but this one takes the cake. I've got another book by the author...hopefully the characters in that one don't make me want to wring their necks. XP

[edel · Rating 3 out of 5]

August 2011

I remember reading this book a long, long, long time ago. I've been stuck in a reading rut so I've gone back to re-reading books I know I liked. Now that I'm reading this again as an adult, a lot of the more adult references I finally get. I was one sheltered high school-er growing up.

Mike Szabo, a lesbian-in-denial high school student, is a stubborn and prideful character. Some people don't like that but I found that just piqued my interest. How would she redeem herself? How would she finally accept things? I was surprised at the end, just goes to show that if you just took the time to talk to and understand people, they might be better than you thought they were.

Xanadu is an intriguing character. Even I fell for the "will she or won't she" shtick. Mike's rose coloured glasses was just painful to witness. Jamie, Mike's gay best friend, was a great addition to their trio. Mike is quite lucky to have a good friend who will constantly be there for him, even when things get rocky.

All in all, this was a good read, even after all these years. A little bit of mystery, family tension, one-sided romance, and realizing your dreams.


First: After my dad's suicide, the town council decided to remove the bottom portion of the ladder from the Coalton water tower.

Last: "Good night, Dad," I said. Just in case he was up there, painting me a dawn.

[Zev · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this book when I first read it. It touched on so many themes and managed to subvert a lot of tropes. I was really impressed. When Mike debated what to do with her future, I rolled my eyes and muttered away, bossing around a book character. When that happens, it just means I'm really into a book and I really care. I was glad when Mike did what I wanted, although her method of reaching the decision broke my heart. I hated her love interest with a passion, but I wanted Mike to be happy. I laughed when her love interest chanted along with the crowd at her game--you hate baseball and this small town, but look at you, going with the crowd. I liked Mike's relationship to her older brother and I remember thinking I wouldn't mind reading a book from his perspective. I thought the mom was kinda--she wasn't really a big character in the book. Sure, Mike worried about her, but it was her -brother- that was close to their mom and handled a lot of things around her. That really interested me. And the tropes that the book played right into--they were done right. I'm glad this book was written.

[Macy Davis · Rating 2 out of 5]

This story just didn't do it for me (except for a couple things about the ending which I really appreciated). I was excited going in because this story is set in western KS (theoretically in Wallace County which isn't too far from where I grew up), but I quickly realized that a lot of the little details that really would have sold this story for me (geography, culture, etc...) just weren't there or were just plain wrong. That was frustrating because there are next to no YA/Children's books set in the part of the country I grew up in and I wish that I had been able to better see that reflected in this novel because that would have been so incredibly awesome. Instead, I just was disappointed.