The Ballad of Sexual Dependency

by Nan Goldin (Photographer)

A photobook classic, and perhaps the work for which New York photographer Nan Goldin remains best known, The Ballad of Sexual Dependency is a visual diary chronicling the struggle for intimacy and understanding between friends and lovers collectively described by Goldin as her “tribe.” Her work describes a late 1970s/early 1980s New York now long gone, and a world that is visceral and seething with life. As Goldin “Real memory, which these pictures trigger, is an invocation of the color, smell, sound, and physical presence, the density and flavor of life.”

Genres: Photography, Art, Nonfiction, Art and Photography, LGBT, Feminism, Queer

148 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 1986

About the author

Nan Goldin is an American photographer known for her deeply personal and candid portraiture. Goldin’s intimate images act as a visual autobiography documenting herself and those closest to her, especially in the LGBTQ community and the heroin-addicted subculture. Her opus The Ballad of Sexual Dependency (1980–1986) is a 40-minute slideshow of 700 photographs set to music that chronicled her life in New York during the 1980s. The Ballad was first exhibited at the 1985 Whitney Biennial, and was made into a photobook the following year. “For me it is not a detachment to take a picture. It's a way of touching somebody—it's a caress,” she said of the medium. “I think that you can actually give people access to their own soul.”

Born Nancy Goldin on September 12, 1953 in Washington, D.C., the artist began taking photographs as a teenager to cherish her relationships with those she photographed, as well as a political tool to inform the public of issues that were important to her. Influenced both by the fashion photography of Helmut Newton and Guy Bourdin she saw in magazines, as well as the revelatory portraits of Diane Arbus and August Sander, Goldin captured herself and her friends at their most vulnerable moments, as seen in her seminal photobook Nan Goldin: I’ll Be Your Mirror (1996). In 2018, she collaborated with the clothing brand Supreme by including three of her photographs, Misty and Jimmy Paulette in a taxi, NYC (1991), Kim in Rhinestones, Paris (1991), and Nan as a dominatrix, Cambridge, MA (1978) on their spring/summer collection.

The artist currently lives and works between New York, NY, and Paris, France. Today, Goldin’s works are held in the collections of The Museum of Modern Art in New York, the Tate Modern in London, the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles, and the Centre Georges Pompidou in Paris, among others.

Reviews

[Carmen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book of photographs in the late 1960s and 1970s taken by Nan Goldin of her friends and (rarely) herself. White, working-class Americans.

I love photography, so I rated this very high.

However, this is a personal photograph collection. You don't know Nan. You don't know any of these people - her friends and lovers. So if you have no interest in the pictures that document another person's life, this will bore you.

But the pictures certainly aren't boring. Nan seems to think this book is about sex and relationships. It's not, IMO. Sure, there are lots of nude women, topless women in here. Maybe a few naked men. One picture is of a guy masturbating, she has a picture of men peeing into a toilet, and she does have a few pictures of what appears to be a couple engaging in or almost engaging in sex.

But the book isn't sexy. It's not porn - porn is meant to titillate and to drive fantasy. This is raw and real life. Also, it's obviously not meant for anyone to get off on. I mean - a person COULD get off to it, people masturbate to ANYTHING, I swear >.< - but that's not what this book is all about. It's about Nan, the people she loves, and the interesting things she saw in life.

Goldin writes a long introduction to the book that is AMAZING. I'm not going to try and unpack it here - that would be impossible - but she discusses the need for coupling, the construction of gender,

When I was fifteen, the perfect world seemed a place of total androgyny, where you won't know a person's gender until you were in bed with him or her.

She also discusses her older sister's suicide and how that deeply affected her.

Tl;dr - I was fascinated by this photography book which was raw and honest. However, people who are bored with photographs of people they can't recognize might not enjoy this. Although there is nudity and a bit of sexuality, I don't think this was a sexy book or even a book about sex for that matter. The book isn't all naked people or half-naked people, often pictures are just of someone at dinner or talking on the phone or smoking or crying or tattooing someone or riding on a train. They are meaningful snapshots from her life.

ETA: Nan Goldin Wants You To Know She Didn't Invent Instagram
NYTimes

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/16/art...

[Leah Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I should preface this reviewlet with a little surgeon general's warning: I know jack about photography. Never taken a class in it, don't often buy books about it, have a very basic little digicam, and I've never really covered much photography in my art history classes either (I think I was comatose on the floor the day we went over it in Ms. Brittle's class or else absent on a "sick day".) That being said, I absolutely love Nan Goldin's work. She is one of the few photographers whose prints I would love having on my wall. She doesn't have many cheesy shots of decrepit trees or nymphettes wearing pearls and looking over their shoulders and shit; instead Goldin is a master at capturing relationships between people. In that respect, she reminds me a lot of David Hockney's portraiture. Goldin reveals moments of tenderness, sensuality, and brutality, often in the same image. She is famous for her images of couples from different walks of life, and rightly so: these are outstanding. Goldin was also one of the few photographers to cover the sad inception of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s from the ground; many of her closest friends fell victim to the virus. Goldin's photographs at this period are heartbreaking--somehow melancholic in their stoicism and extremely visceral. You feel like you're in the room with the people standing over their friend's hospital bed, and you can almost smell the sickness on his breath as he lays dying. These images are now decades old, but they convey an immediacy that I've seldom seen in such an emotionally heavy subject matter. I recommend Nan Goldin's work to anyone--whether you're interested in photography, or, like me, are an idiot about photography and are open to something new and inspiring.

[Steven Godin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably in my top three favourite books of photography.

[Adrià Ibáñez Pelegrí]

There is a popular notion that the photographer is by nature a voyeur, the last one invited to the party. But I’m not crashing; this is my party. This is my family, my history. My desire is to preserve the sense of peoples’ lives, to endow them with the strenght and beauty I see in them […]

< / / 3

🎈

[Karyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Luminescent.

[Sophy H · Rating 5 out of 5]

A human, capturing humans in a thoroughly human moment in time.

Perfect.

[Paulina · Rating 5 out of 5]

"We all tell stories which are versions of history - memorized, encapsulated, repeatable, and safe. Real memory, which these pictures trigger, is an invocation of the color, smell, sound, and physical presence, the density and flavor of life. Memory allows an endless flow of connections. Stories can be rewritten, memory can't. If each picture is a story, then the accumulation of these pictures comes closer to the experience of memory, a story without end.
I want to be able to experience fully, without restraint. People who are obsessed with remembering their experiences usually impose strict self-disciplines. I want to be uncontrolled and controlled at the same time. The diary is my form of control over my life. It allows me to obsessively record every detail. It enables me to remember."

"In my family of friends, there is a desire for the intimacy of the blood family, but also a desire for something more open-ended. Roles aren't so defined. These are long-term relationships. People leave, people come back, but these separations are without the breach of intimacy. We are bonded not by blood or place, but by a similar morality, the need to live fully and for the moment, a disbelief in the future, a similar respect for honesty, a need to push limits, and a common history. We live life without consideration, but with consideration. There is among us an ability to listen and to emphatize that surpasses the normal definition of friendship."

"What you know emotionally and what you crave sexually can be wildly contradictory. I often feel that I am better suited to be with a woman; my long-term relationships with women are bonds that have the intensity of marriage, or the closeness of sisters. But a part of me is challenged by the opacity of men's emotional makeup and is stimulated by the conflict inherent in relationships between men and women.
Sex itself is only one aspect of sexual dependency. Pleasure becomes the motivation, but the real satisfaction is romantic. Bed becomes a forum in which struggles in a relationship are defused or intensified. Sex isn't about performance; it's about a certain kind of communication founded on trust and exposure and vulnerability that can't be expressed any other way. Intense sexual bonds become consuming and self-perpetuating. You become dependent on the gratification. Sex becomes a microcosm of the relationship, the battleground, an exorcism."

"I don't ever want to be susceptible to anyone else's version of my history.
I don't ever want to lose the real memory of anyone again."

[Camille · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this at her exhibit in Stockholm!! I spent about 5 hours appreciating her art.
“i make no distinction between my lovers and my friends”
I also was enthralled in the film version of this book, amazing. Was so well pared with songs.

[Şirin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely adore Nan Goldin.

What she does with photography is beyond words. Images are raw, alive and boiling with hostile energy. It's always inspiring to look at them.

Also the Tiger Lilies'in bu kitap için yazdığı ballad'ı da dinlemek gerekir: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlZJM...

[sofia]

"I don’t ever want to be susceptible to anyone else’s version of my history.
I don’t ever want to lose the real memory of anyone again."

[Bruno Espadana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finally bought it ❤️

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

sejo on i des a gilesn

[GAB · Rating 5 out of 5]

Geweldig! Emotioneel, politiek en provocerend

[rebeca ravara · Rating 5 out of 5]

it's weird when i tell people about hor much of a personal and creative impact this book had on me even when i hadn't read it before. i distinctly remember in 2020 when i first began experimenting with my own style and feeling like an outcast, nan welcomed me into her lifestyle with open arms in a way i had never felt before

this book to me represents one of my biggest style inspirations, and i often look back on her compositions when creating my own artistic works

an awe inspiring person, nan goldin you will forever be one of the greats

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing. I love Nan Goldin and bought this for myself as a birthday gift. Her portraits are intimate, raw, painful, and inspiring and show what old New York was like. I was lucky enough to see her slideshow of "The Ballad" play at MOMA and it's even better and more moving with music. I love it!

[Jim · Rating 5 out of 5]

A classic look at a time and place made all the more powerful by Goldin's access to her friends' private lives. She captures something deep and beautiful about these people.

[Aaron the Pink Donut · Rating 5 out of 5]

Arguably her most powerful collection of photos. A snapshot of humanity trapped in a 148 pages.A must have.

[pedro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nan helped me grow up. Made me compare my current situation to my past ones. Made me reminisce on my long gone childhood.

[Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Nan Goldin's work and this book is amazing. Her introduction alone packed such a punch, that it makes you look at her photographs differently. Also loved that in my edition from 2021 she added reflections at the end on how this book as impacted her and her career and what it means to her all these decades later.

[gnarlyhiker · Rating 5 out of 5]

AWsomEST

[tess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nan Goldin is insanely talented and has an amazing story.

[Patricia Conor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I used to think that I could never lose anyone if I photographed them enough. In fact, my pictures show me how much I've lost.

❤️‍🩹

[Eric Cartier · Rating 4 out of 5]

I re-viewed the entire book in one long sitting, and I had a greater appreciation for the photographs and how Goldin sequenced them in various clusters. Her introductory statement is quite powerful, too. This still isn't the type of art photography that appeals to me, but I respect her craft, and would like to see more of her work.

[Mackenzie Doehr · Rating 5 out of 5]

flipping through this series of photos taken during the AIDs crisis and knowing in your soul that some of these lives were lost due to government negligence and received a lack of empathy from the general population, this project pulls at your heart strings. there is a sense of melancholic beauty nan goldin manages to capture in this project.

[Sofie · Rating 5 out of 5]

<3

[Faye · Rating 5 out of 5]

In love.

[Gabriella · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO good.

The foreword. ( "..When I was eighteen I started to photograph. I became social and started drinking and wanted to remember the details of what happened. For years, I thought I was obsessed with record-keeping of my day-to-day life. But recently, I've realize my motivation has deeper roots: I don't really remember my sister. In the process of leaving my family, in recreating myself, I lost the real memory of my sister. I remember my version of her, of the things she said, of the things she meant to me. But I don't remember the tangible sense of who she was, her presence, what her eyes looked like, what her voice sounded like.
I don't ever want to be susceptible to anyone else's version of my history.
I don't ever want to lose the real memory of anyone again...")

The dedication.

The afterword. ( "..I continue to keep my diaries, both written and photographic. They take care of the past for me, and allow me to live totally in the present I took the pictures in this book so that nostalgia couldn't ever color my past. I realize I took the picture of myself battered so I wouldn't go back to the man who beat me up. I wanted to make the record of my life that nobody could revise: not a safe, clean version, but instead, a record of what things really looked like and felt like...")

The photos in between.

This book is so striking. So good. So strong. A very good book in general, and a fantastic art book in particular. Slice of life photographs that feel so real and true, composing one hell of a photo diary.

[Annika · Rating 4 out of 5]

“If men and women often seem unsuited to one another, maybe it’s because they have different emotional realities and speak a different emotional language. For many years, I found it hard to understand the feeling systems of men; I didn’t believe they were vulnerable and I empowered them in a way that didn’t acknowledge their fears and feelings. Men carry their own baggage, a legacy based on a fear of women, a need to categorize them, for instance, as mothers, whores, virgins, or spiderwomen. The construction of gender roles is one of the major problems that individuals bring into a relationship. As children, we’re programmed into the limitations of gender distinction: little boys to be fighters, little girls to be pretty and nice. But as we grow older, there’s a self-awareness that sees gender as a decision, as something malleable. You can play with the traditional options—dressing up, cruising in cars, the tough posturing—or play against the roles, by displaying your tenderness or toughness to contradict stereotypes.” (p. 7)

[Curtis · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Ballad of Sexual Dependency is Nan Goldin's most seminal work. This visual dairy chronicles the life and times of her friends and lovers (i.e. her "tribe") spanning from the late 70s to the mid 80s. These photographs are not glamorous, they are real life... warts and all. I can see why many consider this a classic. The photos lingered with me long after I closed the book. Each time I re-examine the pages I find something I didn't see before. The good times, the bad, the longing, and the introspection are uniquely captured here. Reading about Goldin's life and the story behind the photographs add fascinating depth and perspective. This is very interesting work indeed.

[Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nan Goldin took so many risk as a photographer - turning the camera on herself, but I think maybe even more effectively on those closest to her. Her photographs are beautiful and I think she was a real break through in the 70s for women photographers - in the ways that she did not portray women necessarily in these beautiful positions with perfect bodies - her work seems to be more about the realistic - Almost this is who I am? Take it or leave it. I dont know?