I thought it may be fun to make up some farcical, punny horoscopes. Free free to comment, edit lines or create your own horrorscope. I'm starting with:
PISCES: You are very adept at small scale business. Avoid borrowing money from loan sharks. You have a tendency to fall for things hook, line and sinker. Yet, you are intelligent and like to hang around in schools. You favorite author is Salmon Rushdie. You have lived former lives: once as Tsardine of Russia and once as Jack the Kipper. Because of your generous nature, you may squander all your resources and end up in squid row. If you become unemployed, check the Kelp Wanted section of the newspaper. Avoid contact with men named Ahab or who tie flies for a living. Boycott the Little Mermaid (anthropomorphic aquatic bestiality) as demeaning. When dining in a French restaurant, be very careful when ordering "poisson" (fish). Leave one "s" out and you have "poison". Thought for the Day: Although porcupines can float, they are not considered seafood.
PISCES: You are very adept at small scale business. Avoid borrowing money from loan sharks. You have a tendency to fall for things hook, line and sinker. Yet, you are intelligent and like to hang around in schools. You favorite author is Salmon Rushdie. You have lived former lives: once as Tsardine of Russia and once as Jack the Kipper. Because of your generous nature, you may squander all your resources and end up in squid row. If you become unemployed, check the Kelp Wanted section of the newspaper. Avoid contact with men named Ahab or who tie flies for a living. Boycott the Little Mermaid (anthropomorphic aquatic bestiality) as demeaning. When dining in a French restaurant, be very careful when ordering "poisson" (fish). Leave one "s" out and you have "poison". Thought for the Day: Although porcupines can float, they are not considered seafood.