Ask the Author: Ubiquitous Bubba
Answered Questions (9)
Ubiquitous Bubba
My father had a question he used to ask me nearly every day of my childhood. It's one of my earliest memories. "Are you some kinda idjit?"
If I was, would I know? I mean, would I possess the awareness and analytical skills required to determine if I was, in fact, an idiot? I looked at everyone around me and wondered if they were each playing a part in a grand psychoanalytic experiment designed to definitively answer this question.
Sure, they "acted" as though they were normal, but I could tell. I wasn't sure about the rules of this experiment. If I let on that I knew about it, would that invalidate the experiment? If so, they'd just terminate the subject and get someone else, right? I know the ones stuck playing the role of my parents would have jumped at the chance. It seemed that my greatest chance of survival lay in pretending that I didn't know I was the test subject.
I almost let it slip a few times, but I think I got away with it. I kept waiting for a crowd of people to surround me, pull their faces off, and scream at me for skewing the test results.
In that worst case scenario, it would be impossible to determine if I was an idiot, right? Right?
If I was, would I know? I mean, would I possess the awareness and analytical skills required to determine if I was, in fact, an idiot? I looked at everyone around me and wondered if they were each playing a part in a grand psychoanalytic experiment designed to definitively answer this question.
Sure, they "acted" as though they were normal, but I could tell. I wasn't sure about the rules of this experiment. If I let on that I knew about it, would that invalidate the experiment? If so, they'd just terminate the subject and get someone else, right? I know the ones stuck playing the role of my parents would have jumped at the chance. It seemed that my greatest chance of survival lay in pretending that I didn't know I was the test subject.
I almost let it slip a few times, but I think I got away with it. I kept waiting for a crowd of people to surround me, pull their faces off, and scream at me for skewing the test results.
In that worst case scenario, it would be impossible to determine if I was an idiot, right? Right?
Ubiquitous Bubba
That would explain why so many people think that they recognize me. Would be victims are always asking me for autographs. I was even asked to teach a class in Chalk Outline Theory.
I feel like I should call out at random intervals, "I'm not dead yet!" Maybe that will help.
I feel like I should call out at random intervals, "I'm not dead yet!" Maybe that will help.
Ubiquitous Bubba
Leigh, I'm horrified to hear of your distress. You did get more coffee, didn't you? I would hate to imagine the consequences of going without coffee. (shudder)
I gave the story to a pack of imaginary readers and they made a huge mess as well. Of course, they also were rabid otters who love to swim in warm chocolate sauce, roll in powdered sugar, and then dance the macarena while they read. Hopefully, your experience was different. We do not need a resurgence of the macarena.
I am very glad that you enjoyed the story. I loved writing it. Thanks for your note. (Sorry about the cookies, too. I hope they were the kind you only nibble on because a distant relative made them and they want to see you eat their squid loaf. If so, then you're welcome.)
I gave the story to a pack of imaginary readers and they made a huge mess as well. Of course, they also were rabid otters who love to swim in warm chocolate sauce, roll in powdered sugar, and then dance the macarena while they read. Hopefully, your experience was different. We do not need a resurgence of the macarena.
I am very glad that you enjoyed the story. I loved writing it. Thanks for your note. (Sorry about the cookies, too. I hope they were the kind you only nibble on because a distant relative made them and they want to see you eat their squid loaf. If so, then you're welcome.)
Ubiquitous Bubba
The brain can only manage so many concurrent tasks. Stress saps creativity. Hunger and sleep deprivation also slow down my mind. I know some writers do their best work when they are badly sleep deprived, but I don't work that way. If I'm trying to break through a block, I take the problem/scene/character and submit it to subconscious processing. I'm then free to focus on other things because I know that my mind will keep working on the problem while my conscious mind is effectively running a screen saver. I never know how long it will take, but I know that eventually, the cellar door will creak open and a gnarled bony hand will toss the completed story idea into the sunlight. I'll start writing to see what I've created. It's almost always a surprise.
Ubiquitous Bubba
I think the best thing about being a writer is sharing the stories that play in my skull with others. I love to hear from readers who enjoyed meeting some of my characters. Knowing that those characters will redecorate the inside of the reader's brain makes my subconsciousness cackle with glee.
Ubiquitous Bubba
Just write. Don't worry about sales, popularity, rankings, reviews, or anything else. Keep writing. Finish one book/story/poem/tome and then write another. Seek out wise people who will give you honest feedback and sage advice. Where criticism is valid, make changes in the next story. Don't look back. Just keep writing.
Ubiquitous Bubba
I'm working on my second novel, Blithering Genius. It picks up where Reality Challenged ended and continues the storylines of each of the characters. In addition, there are new challenges, a problem with Time, shattered universes, and hair.
I also have a short story that needs to be finished about a farmer in rural Texas and the aliens who abducted his truck.
I also have a short story that needs to be finished about a farmer in rural Texas and the aliens who abducted his truck.
Ubiquitous Bubba
Creating characters always triggers new ideas. The stranger the character is to me, the more I like it. Some stories have been created solely by creating a single character.
Also, food and sleep inspire me. I don't write when I'm hungry or tired. Well, I could, but then I'd write about food and a soft bed. When is lunch?
Also, food and sleep inspire me. I don't write when I'm hungry or tired. Well, I could, but then I'd write about food and a soft bed. When is lunch?
Ubiquitous Bubba
I blame my subconsciousness. It's always coming up with things that surprise me. Most of the time, I write to find out what's in my head. There's a reason my subconscious mind doesn't get to go out in public. Hang on. I think I just annoyed it.
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