R. O'Leary > Quotes

“For all the goblin girlies who just want to wear sweatpants, drink iced coffee, and get dicked down by hot monsters with fat bank accounts. Same, girl. Same.”
― R. O'Leary, Swipe Right for Monsters

“Whoever invented tequila shots”
― R. O'Leary, Swipe Right for Monsters

“I don’t know what to wear,” Louisa announced. “What says ‘I might be screwing your son, but I’m not about to take shit from a pompous jungle cat’? A dress, right?”
― R. O'Leary, Furbidden Attraction

“The sound of the shower turning on sent Jack into a shudder. He had to get the fuck out of here before he decided to use his rock hard cock to beat down the bathroom door and join her.”
― R. O'Leary, Furbidden Attraction

“Whoever invented tequila shots was a dick. No, not just a dick—a giant, ugly dick who deserved to be pointed and laughed at.”
― R. O'Leary, Swipe Right for Monsters

“So… a parrot?” Louisa forced herself not to smile. “Like a big parrot? Or a parakeet?” Connor glowered at the gravel under their feet. “Big parrot. Blue and yellow macaw.” “Oh, cool cool. Coooool.” “No, I will not show you,” he sighed. Louisa held up her hands and took a step back. “Hey, man. No one said anything about showing off their ‘big parrot.’ Keep that shit in your pants.”
― R. O'Leary, Furbidden Attraction

“A lady should never have to walk home in the dark.”
― R. O'Leary, Swipe Right for Monsters

“If I’m going to die in a hole in your backyard, I’m going to enjoy whatever hallucinogens you put in my food, thanks.” Alice carefully placed her bowl on the counter and turned to Louisa. “Do you have a history of mental illness?” she asked primly. Louisa blinked at the sudden breach of silence. A growl started to build in Jack’s chest. He fully intended to wring Alice’s neck when this little charade was over. “Excuse me?” “Do you have a history of mental illness?” Alice repeated. “You were a bird five minutes ago,” Louisa said slowly. “I think you have your own problems to worry about.”
― R. O'Leary, Furbidden Attraction

“The last time they had let her pitch an idea after this much tequila, they had ended up blackout drunk trying to go whale watching in a rowboat… and they didn’t even live near an ocean.”
― R. O'Leary, Swipe Right for Monsters

“I’ve been kidnapped by what I can only assume is a cult, and I’m probably going to be murdered in some stupid ritual sacrifice! And now the cute, crazy guy who kidnapped me is making me SPAGHETTI! That is not okay, NONE OF THIS IS OKAY!” “I can make something else, it doesn’t have to be spaghetti,” Jack muttered.”
― R. O'Leary, Furbidden Attraction