Betty Dodson's Blog, page 3

Hi Betty

I have just finished reading an article in the July issue of Next magazine (New Zealand) about sex for the over 50's, and the article mentioned your website. I have been experiencing painful sex for the past 5 years, and so I jumped on to your website looking for a bit of help. I am writing now asking for help because I am getting desperate!

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One of the most challenging aspects of my life has been going public with what I believe to be true based on observation, experience and information from sources I trust. I’m not sure when living out loud became my passion. Perhaps the biggest influence was my mother who always said, “Betty Anne, never hesitate to speak your mind.” She was an example of doing just that. Often I’d be embarrassed when she’d say the unspeakable, like the time she told our overly religious neighbor Mrs. Wright the Bible was just a bunch of stories written by a lot of different men.

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Dear Betty,

I am an attractive professional woman who is a flight attendant for a well known Airline and just recently turned 50 and still have a sexy body and legs. MY husband and I have been married for 14 yrs with no kids and he works nights for an automotive company. We have ok sex regularly but I don't always have orgasms with him. My husband thinks old fashioned religious beliefs and would not approve of me masturbating.

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Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 22 years old and I'm not sure I've ever had an orgasm.

I'm originally from Eastern Europe, and had a religious upbringing. I remember being a preteen and asking my mother what sex was like, and she replied "not fun". I always felt guilty about having sexual thoughts, and didn't even allow myself to masturbate until I was 17. As of now I'm in a good relationship with a guy who makes me feel comfortable and I'm finally starting to enjoy sex. I've even found that anal play is a lot of fun!

But I don't come when I'm with my boyfriend, and it never happens when I'm alone either. I try to masturbate with a vibrator, feel like I'm getting into it, and then the feeling suddenly goes away.

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Hi Dr. Betty,

I feel a bit abnormal for admitting this, but I have never liked being touched. Massages, pedicures, etc. are fine, but I don’t like hugs or kisses, even from my husband. When he touches me I stiffen up and feel very uncomfortable. In order to have sex I have to have at least a glass of wine to relax enough just to stand it.

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We had talked about it for several weeks, but still, it was intimidating to actually pull it off. Several big elements in my life had occurred that year; my seven year marriage had ended with a legal settlement that I would receive $500 a month for the first year, $400 the next and then 3, 2 and 1 hundred dollars respectfully for the final years. It was mutually agreed upon by both of us to ease me back into the commercial art world after painting full time in my studio.

At the end of the first year, I was informed there would be no more checks in the mail; he had lost his job, his former secretary was now pregnant and would be giving birth to their first child in eight months. We both got what we wanted; fatherhood for him and freedom for me.

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Dear Betty,

I'm 17 years old and I'm now in a committed relationship (of 2 years) to where I feel ready and comfortable enough to engage in sexual activities and I am dying to take it to the next level, penetration! I was super excited to try this with my girlfriend (and even a bit nervous of course).

We bought a strap-on and when the time came to do the do, it wouldn't go in! It was extremely painful, but we took our time and slowly got it not even half way in but I was determind to get this thing in me one way or another. As it went depper it was getting more and more painful and burning terribly, and all the while my girlfriend kept encouraging me to keep trying and that it was normal to be that painful the first time, but it just didnt feel right to me.

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Dear Betty,

I'm hoping you would give me some insights to what's going on. I'm a girl, 21 years, healthy, non sexually active .Almost 2 months ago, I masturbated like once per night for like 5 days to reach an orgasm and it helps me sleep. Is that considered to be over doing it. I kinda just use my fingers to create a vibration and that's it. My real question is that after the 5 days I stopped doing it and I having this feeling like I need to pee all the time!

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Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a 19 year old interested in doing kegels to better my sex life with myself and a partner in the future.

I'd love to get strong results, and getting a kegel exerciser seems the way to go, except after my research there are several sights and people claiming that it is actually a bad way to go -both unnecessary and not as healthy as doing kegels without it.

What do you say to this?

Dear S,

What I say is "to each her own." Chances are you do not need to get your PC muscles stronger. Actually Kegels were designed for women who had given childbirth and needed to restore the muscles. I simply find using the pelvic floor muscles during penetration while including a vibrator on my clitoris enhances my orgasm.

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Dear Dr. Betty,

Howdy & MANY THANKS for this site and your work!!!

The short version: should women with eensy weensy clitoral glans (thanks for the anatomy lesson) practice a different form of stimulation? I've read bunches on your site, watched one of your Orgasm Dr videos, and followed (or tried to) your rock & roll technique (although I am a cheap skate and already sprang for a Hitachi & other things before finding your site and have not invested in the Barbell yet).

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