Niamh Fitzpatrick

“And don’t ever think that you’ll upset someone by mentioning the name of the person who has died, fearing that you’ll ‘remind them’. First, what is truly upsetting is when you meet someone who you know is aware that your sister has died and they never mention it. I’m not talking about in a work setting now, but in a personal setting. I do believe that the first time you meet someone after they are bereaved you need to acknowledge the loss. Second, we never forget. The loss we experience is indelibly inked onto us and there’s not a moment when we aren’t aware of it, so you’ll never remind us because there is no forgetting. If you talk to someone and mention their loved one and they cry, you haven’t upset them, the tears are not something that you have caused, they were there anyway, lurking near the surface, and the conversation was simply that extra drop of water that pushed the salty drops to the top.”
― Niamh Fitzpatrick, Tell Me The Truth About Loss: A Psychologist's Personal Story of Loss, Grief and Finding Hope