Jessica Shepherd's Blog, page 2

This past weekend I offered an Energy Clearing class, and one of the intuitive energy clearing practices was for Self-Forgiveness.

I wasn’t sure I was going to do this practice– but it had been coming up for me, lately, so I went with it. It appeared to resonate. One participant said, “We women, we are so hard on ourselves.” That was a punch to the gut; we all felt that. Another participant spoke to the way that holding on to emotions can make us physically ill. Yet another said she was really struggling with forgiving herself, lately. Forgiveness work feels Saturn in Pisces to me! Saturn’s hardships often point out the necessity of “ending” things that have outlived their usefulness in our lives, and Pisces expands through letting go.

Mercury is in Virgo, now retrograde. It’s traveling through my twelfth house it is psychically stimulating old habits of self-undoing conditioning I thought I’d put to rest. Interestingly, a few days before this retrograde, I had this dream: I just made a difficult journey through a winding obstacle course type path, when I decided to do it again – this time in the dark! Navigating a dark and perilous trench, I thought: “Why ever would I choose to go through this again?!” You know what I “heard”? Learning. Ahhh, I thought, upon awakening: Here we go again. Repeats and remembering.

If old stories are coming up for you, you are not alone. With Wednesday’s Pisces Full Moon 6 planets (almost 7) are retrograde, which favors re-trospection, re-dos, re-membering…doing anything with RE- in front of it. I feel part of the reason for this is to rewrite our narrative. Life is long. Some of the stories you believe about yourself are no longer relevant to who you are today. Writers are rewriters of narrative, as are healers. In my book, A Love Alchemist’s Notebook, I created a “spell” called Change the End of the Story. When I offered EFT sessions, I helped my clients reimagine and reimprint a new, better, ending for traumas endured. I like this definition of healing: Healing is only a shift in your perception. This has always held True for me.

I’m doing more self-forgiveness/release work, now. Inherent to this is catching up with myself – running what I once learned against the Truth of who I am today. This sparked a writing exercise, which you can do with me, if you like…

The practice: Get your Just Love journal and make a list of things you’d like to forgive yourself for, understanding, or release.  Sometimes we don’t realize just how much we are holding onto, and how much it is subtly affecting us, until we engage the questions, “What can I forgive myself about?” “Can I offer myself more understanding in an area I’ve been a little too critical of myself around?” “Is there anything I’d love to release, once and for all?” 

Then, use the following sentence structure: “I forgive myself for…” “(I did this because) I learned to…” and “I’ve since learned…” It’s an illuminating process. It allows you to see you pesky self-defeating habits are just perceptions.

Here’s mine:

I forgive myself my mistakes; I learned it was “wrong” to make them; I’ve since learned  that’s the best way to learn.

I forgive myself for all the moments I’ve harshly judged myself; I was taught/conditioned to look at myself very critically; I’ve since learned, when that happens, that is NOT ME looking back. My own gaze is gentle and loving.

I forgive myself for believing my suffering makes me alone, different; I learned to go without help or aid for periods, and I would suffer alone; I’ve since learned to reach out, self-soothe, and that no one is exempt from suffering.

I forgive myself for all the times I told myself I should BE or DO better; I learned this in grade school, and in situations not right for me; I’ve since learned I am okay as I AM, and if I still don’t feel okay, that’s a sign to find a better fit.

I forgive myself for all the ways I’ve mistook feeling badly for having done something “wrong”; because no one taught me otherwise, I learned that feeling badly must mean there is “something wrong with me”; I’ve since learned there is no right/wrong, only what feels best for the unique person I AM. Feeling bad means figure out how to feel better.

I forgive myself for believing the lies of self-doubt, self-questioning and insecurity; how I learned to protect myself from an insecure, raging, authoritarian parent; I’ve since learned when this comes up, usually in situations where I really want to feel secure in my authority and in total self-trust, it’s a conditioned response- it’s NOT ME.

I forgive myself for not trusting myself in moments of distraction, and stress; the adults around me taught me panic and helplessness during stress; I’ve since learned this is a sign to slow way down, ground, recenter.

I forgive myself for believing I am small, limited and that things are impossible; I was taught the narrative of scarcity; I have since learned that my True Nature is limitless and Divine, and that all things are possible for me.

I forgive myself for being so impatient with all of this, all the times I’ve thought “F**k. This AGAIN?!”; I learned things “should” happen quickly; I’ve since learned healing takes time. It will happen when it happens. It took me at least half a lifetime to learn all of this… it’s going to take me awhile to let it all go. 🙂 Till then, I can keep forgiving myself.

 

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Every morning in Hawaii I do my favorite part of the day: I feed the birds and sit on the wooden rocking chair on the front porch while sipping my coffee and watching them eat. Sometimes this morning ritual is a blessed reprieve from rows of sleepless nights of experiencing symptoms; when the nights last too long, for too long, this ritual restores me back to myself.

This morning, I am thinking about Connection to my Source Self, my Divine Self. In these nights that last too long, my conditioning around feeling abandoned and alone can kick in. A reality in my childhood, and then experiences with health providers who couldn’t or did not have any answers to my physical pain have reinforced this conditioning. The adults have failed me. It shows up in angst, despair or feelings of helplessness, aloneness. It can be subconscious, in that it is a subtle and barely-there feeling that often seems to arise without any effort. It is Conditioning with a capital “C” and it is triggered by longer periods where I am suffering with symptoms that defy resolution, understanding. I guess you could say it’s a core wound but I see it as simply a learned pattern born of life experience.

The difficulty with Conditioning is– any form of it- it creates disconnection from Truth.

Our ability to be in our Divine Self, Truth and Inner Knowing, gets, well… screwed with.

In a nutshell, when I AM in my I AM NOT, I am in a form of Conditioning. I AM not in my “I AM“- which is that felt experience of smoothness, ease and peace I call my Divine True Self. I AM is the experience I have of myself that is limitless, wise, knowing, intuitive and abundant. I AM NOT is in every perception that takes me away from this self-experience.

And when I AM NOT…I find it more difficult to experience the smooth, supple relationship I typically have with my Intuitive Self. My Knowing gets sidetracked. Everything from making decisions (knowing when and what to do), to feeling into energy of situations and people,– which I typically consult my Intuition around, is disturbed, and so my Knowing feels very unreliable.

In other words, in my greatest moment of need…Spirit/Source Connection may not show up.

…Back to the humans not showing up.

This morning, though, I realized that early life experience transferred over to how I was perceiving my relationship to Source Connection. But I could now see that it didn’t have to be this way. That’s the cool thing about recognizing a story. When you suddenly become aware of how you pieced a story together, you can also see how to break it apart, reshape it into something Truer.

Yes, my experiences with unreliable humans became a story. It is strong Conditioning. Yet, today, in my dark night periods, when I am experiencing pain or lack a solution for an ailment …Does this mean Spirit is doing the same?

No. Just because we become disconnected by Conditioning, experiences that have shaped stories, it doesn’t mean we ARE disconnected. Because right underneath all of this, I felt the Truth: I AM right here. I AM always right here. I always discover the answers, eventually, even if it takes time. My Inner Connection always leads me there. I do soothe myself. I don’t leave or abandon me.

This is the process of coming back to Truth. It is a slow unraveling, sometimes too slow (!), of recognizing that our biggest obstacles rest within our perceptions, and their healing correction. Recently, I posted the image of a spiral on my social media pages. It is a metaphor for how healing works. Every time we are triggered into healing on the same dang issue, it is actually NEVER the same. We may think we are traveling the same circle, or cycle, but we are actually traveling a spiral. Each circle takes us more deeply into center, into wholeness.

This isn’t my first rodeo with this particular “wound” or Conditioning. However, this time I did some big energy clearing around it (my husband even remarked, later that night, how “bright” I looked. Energy changes everything- even how you look!).

…Back to my morning coffee and feeding the birds ritual. This same morning, I walked outside to feed the birds, and looked up in the banyan tree for the parrots. A group of them visits (fun fact: a group of parrots are called a pandemonium- and boy, to watch them eating and squawking at one another you would see exactly how much pandemonium occurs!). Anyhow, I always say “hello!” and “good morning!” in my best parrot voice, because I love connecting with them, watching them observe me -their little necks doing that cool 360-degree swivel, angling down to wonder at this strange creature saying strange words. Today, though I craned my neck; I didn’t see them.

I paused for a beat. They were here. I could feel them …even though I couldn’t see them.

This thought occurred to me just then: Just because I don’t think I’m Connected to Spirit – when I am distracted by pain, conditioning, thinking, emotion or energy- does this mean Spirit’s not here? No. Spirit is underneath all of it. To feel this Truth, I need to come back to myself; release what’s blocking me- experiences, turned into a story. Otherwise, what’s the point? The unreliability I experienced during moments of need was real. This doesn’t change the fact that Spirit was and is always here. I can always KNOW this as True.

…Then, the parrots swooped down in great numbers, noisily arriving to claim their morning peanuts and seeds. As I watched them eat, I felt myself returning, too. Sinking into my rocking chair, I felt the lightness of being that I recognize as being Connected. I sank into “ME”.

 

The post When You Feel You Can’t Connect to Your Divinity appeared first on Jessica Shepherd.

Loss. It’s inherent to Life. Built-in.

Socks. Loved ones. Friends. Treasured mementos.

Somedays I think all of life is preparation for the final LET GO. You know what I mean: think about how every attachment we ever have… we eventually give away?

On our first wedding anniversary, my husband began a tradition. He said he wanted to give me a ring every year. It would bring him great joy to fill up my hands with rings, he said. I agreed. Who am I to argue with LOVE?

14 years in, that was a lot of rings to track. Some rings I’ve lost only to find again. But with others, not so lucky.

The combination of my love for the sea + sunscreen took my first ring away, a cool rose gold thumb ring. Poof. Gone. Then the second ring, my favorite, gold with the deepest sea blue topaz you’ve ever known… gone in one mermaid wave so delightful that if I hadn’t had such a good time jumping around in it I would’ve cried a lot harder. I did cry a bit.

I would say I actually wailed.

…Because it’s hard to lose something that matters.

…Even if it is only a “thing,” things are symbolic, aren’t they?

Yet, some crazy magic happened directly from this loss (you knew there would be a cool plot twist, right?).

Soon after I lost the ring, and I decided to retire the ring tradition, we happened upon a beach full of sea glass.
The sea was the exact color of that beloved topaz ring.
And I became inspired by this marvelous synchronicity.

I brought some glass home, began playing around with it. I had taken a few classes in jewelry making, years ago. I remembered my maternal grandmother, who, after giving her a silver ring I’d designed decades ago, said how good I was, and might I consider making jewelry, professionally?

Nahhhhh…replied my 17 year old self.

Erm. Heck Yeah!… said my 47 year old self.

Now I’m making jewelry. Sea glass is my new Muse.

I remember, I had wailed, to the Sea… Why, oh why, when I love you so much, did you take my favorite rings?

She replied: Because I love you.

The Sea takes away and the Sea gives.

Life takes and Life gives. There is a Divine Balance.

It is easy to get caught up in loss, to forget to look for what’s being given. But you can train in the looking.

I certainly have. And here is what I’ve learned:
When something is taken away, something is always given.

I KNOW THIS: When we lose something, we are given something else… perhaps down the road, perhaps long after we’ve forgotten what it was we lost… we are given a new something that is needed for who we are today.

What have you lost recently? Instead of looking at what’s being taken away, try looking for what’s being given you.

When you learn to look for it, when you train in the looking…well, that’s when the true MAGIC happens.

 

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I had given up. I had lost hope– and I didn’t even realize it!

I have had chronic health conditions for all my adult years. I have had syndromes, and “syndromes” by definition are mysterious and defy consistent workable treatments. I’ve been told, so many times, that I’m doing everything right, trying all options available to me. I’ve also been told that maybe it’s just stress.

Conventional and alternative practitioners both have suggested stress as culprit, recommending therapy and support groups; I have learned this is their way of saying, “I have nothing more for you.” It’s been big work not taking this personally, and undoing the “there must be something wrong with me” conditioning.

So, for years I stayed away from all of it. This felt kinder and gentler (caveat: because a number of amazing promises were made to restore me to health -accompanied by judgement and shame when it didn’t happen- it felt gentler to heal on my own). But when peri-menopause hit me HARD, instigating a host of symptoms, I began again in earnest: Naturopathy, herbs, acupuncture and then hormone replacement therapy…

Unfortunately, nothing helped. When my last Naturopath told me to work on my stress levels…Well, this isn’t my first rodeo. I thought: What they are really saying is, We are DONE HERE. And so we were.

I share this experience because it mirrored so many before it. It might seem a small thing, being told I should lower my stress (again), but after so many experiences –enough that I stopped seeking out help– it felt grossly traumatic. Perhaps this also illuminates why I had lost hope… without actually realizing I had lost hope.

Then, my husband, a world-class medical researcher, facilitated a phone conversation with a top-notch world-class Menopause expert. My first thought was: Another person whose judgment I would have to deal with. It filled me with dread. But then I felt into the energy of her name; I JUST KNEW that she would be kind and truthful with me. Indirectly, in the way these things often happen…she didn’t offer me any new answers just then, but the conversation led me to realize I had given up, and that it was time for me to fight again.

***
All of this brought up questions, for me.

For a long while I had been working on Acceptance. Being in grace with what I could not change.

When do you accept…And when do you fight?

When do you accept what you cannot control and seek GRACE… When do you say “NO. I WILL NOT”?

When do you decide there’s something more for you? Something better?

I think this is primarily an INTUITIVE KNOWING. And, an AWAKENING as well.

***

Intuitively and with new determination, I went back to conventional western medicine- an institution that had long ago given up on me, and I, on it. I INSISTED on being seen by a gynecologist who had actually experienced menopause (they kept placing me with thirty-year-old doctors! Sorry but: As if!) As a result of this, I synchronously had a conversation with a Nurse Practitioner who said: “Helping women to no longer suffer through menopause symptoms is my passion (oh my! hot tears streamed down, when she said this!). We have solutions for women who cannot tolerate hormones. I know we have something for you.”

This led to a treatment I’d never heard of; and this treatment has offered me sustained and blessed relief.

***

Acceptance is invaluable for situations you cannot change.

But sometimes someone (or many someone’s) caused you to believe a lie.

The “there’s nothing else for you; you’re doing everything right and it’s all there is” lie.

One day, you are ready to WAKE UP.
***

I know many of us struggle with difficult, perplexing, confusing conditions that defy answers. The difference between having hope and not… is believing there’s something out there for me, and that I will find it.

I am applying the same level of determination and intuition to my fibromyalgia flare-ups. I didn’t have an MD who “believed in” me, so I chose a new one. I did it in the way I choose a card from my oracle deck- I’m not kidding! I looked at my choices online, their profile pics like little cards. Which face did I gravitate towards? Who felt resonant? HER. Boom. When I told her my story, she replied: You need someone in your corner.

I still had to stand my ground with her. I had to be in my POWER and KNOWING and demonstrate this, energetically. When I heard those same old well-trod, and tiring suggestions, “have you tried therapy?” and “how about ibuprofen?” and “what about prescription strength ibuprofen?” I insisted on going beyond them.

I anchored into my knowing. I insisted on an experimental therapy, one I’d discovered through months of researching PubMed, and offered her my scientific articles, research and data. She took me seriously.

Hallelujah!

***
Hope is a precious thing. I honestly had not realized I had given up.

I had gone into despair. A cycle of accommodating my misery.

And I thought I was working on Acceptance! I thought that was my Path. Perhaps it was.

But eventually, the learning needed to shift. I needed to shift from acceptance of “what is” and instead fight for more, better. It was time to believe more was available to me, to reclaim my lost hope.

***
When I recounted the above to my husband he said, “Your experience reminds me of when I thought the only place for me was (at his former employer) and I couldn’t see beyond it. I told myself it was all I could have, and it was the best place for me. But really, I was stuck in Trauma. You pulled me out.”

Yes, that’s right, Trauma.

I’ve said this before, at length in my book Follow the Moonlit Path: We gravitate towards familiarity. People often stay in places that are unhealthy because it’s eerily familiar to them, resonant with deep wounds.

My husband used to say: “I can’t imagine living anywhere besides the California Bay Area. I mean, where else would I go?” HA! It took me a year and a half to convince him that he would feel, and do, better elsewhere. It was a high energy battle at times, but it was energy and time well spent.

Now he would be the first to say it: He’s the happiest he’s ever been, in a place (and I am, too!).
***

HOPE is a precious thing.

It’s easy to lose…Easy to get bogged down by habits of conditioning -habits of thought, old trauma, and consensus reality (oooh, and this is where everyone ALSO agrees: yes, this is the best you can do).

Sometimes you’ve got to fight for what you most want — fight with everything you have.

You know there’s only one thing worth fighting for, right?

THE TRUTH.

The TRUTH will always set you free, into wild, and sometimes blessedly unfamiliar, possibilities.

The TRUTH is what we are all seeking, and looking for… Our Soul reaches for it, forever and always, even as our Ego’s conditioning struggles with removing all obstacles to the TRUTH; even as our Ego conditioning tells us, yes, you are in the TRUTH …When really that’s another slippery-sideways lie you’re telling yourself.

(Again, since the mind can be so slippery, anchoring into my INTUITIVE AWARENESS has been key. The Soul knows best. The body knows best. When the mind gets spinning, it helps me to be very clear on this.)

Right now, the TRUTH is: There is cause for hope. Perhaps this is a gift of Pluto having just entered innovative Aquarius on this very day I write. For all the strange and eerie wonders astrologers are postulating about this new shift (the world-shaping force of A.I., to name a big one)…some breakthroughs, awakenings and experimental innovations can be positive for humanity. This is what my newfound hope tells me.

***

The takeaway here is this: If you are chronically unhappy, you CAN be happier.

If you are in despair, I encourage you to start fighting for what matters to you.

Trauma can blind you to what’s possible. I was re-traumatized, over and over, every time I was told “this is as good as it gets for you.” This was also a conditioned message from my childhood so I resonated with it.

For as much talk as there is about trauma, though, I feel many get stuck in “my trauma”. It is a lens – a broken one- through which we view life, which perpetuates an energy. Trauma is an ENERGY FIELD. This means that when you are in it, you will have a very hard time seeing/feeling beyond it (honestly, it’s almost impossible). Think of a fish swimming in the sea; you can’t see what you are holding/feeling too close.

Life is so much more than trauma. A big part of regulating your nervous system is moving away from the triggers; moving away from the energy that created it and into a new energy. It helps to have clear-seeing support. I was that for my husband, and I had a teacher who helped me to trust what I KNEW to be True.

You can step out of that vibration by not revisiting it, ruminating on it, regenerating it over again with your own energy… And, instead, honestly start asking yourself what TRULY feels good to you.

***

I know my journey is a personal one. Pluto in Aquarius is now sextile my Pluto, and trine my Mars to which I credit an upswing of honesty, courage and renewed hope. Wherever you are in your journey…

I offer up my life, as an example– as a LIGHT for your own.

May HOPE find you, where you most need it. You can be happy. You can feel good, safe, loved.

 

The post HOPE, TRAUMA & PLUTO IN AQUARIUS appeared first on Jessica Shepherd.

it is normal to feel afraid

let me tell you a secret,
a way to disarm your fear,

a way to use your fear —
instead of allowing it to use you,
instead of turning that knife onto yourself:

*tell me what has most scared you,
and I will tell you what matters most to you*

afraid of pain?
comforting is your temple

afraid of suffering?
compassion is your way

afraid of not being seen?
acknowledgement and appreciation are Truths to live by

scared of being alone?
loving companionship is your treasure, and skill

scared of abandonment?
showing up for yourself is golden

scared of others’ disappointing you?
freedom from expectations is your gift

afraid of: aggression, rage and anger?
peace is all you’ll ever wage

afraid of betrayal?
a loyal, steady, heart is yours for life

scared of not being “enough”?
self-acceptance is your sacred way

…and so on

on the other side of
what has most SCARED you: lives your most SACRED strengths

gifts you have cultivated,
which you can now more consciously carry,
~and devote yourself even more fully to~,
for having passed through
the alchemical fires
of your very worst fears.

What has fear made SACRED for you?

Please share your reflections in the comments below.

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Lately I’ve been adapting to this new world of social media. I can’t say that it feels natural but that’s likely because it’s new to me. I remember when… I was a big fish in a small sea. I started this blog in the early 2000’s. I was one of the first astrological writers to share my life (my inner life 🙂 + astrological observations, online. I recall the heady feeling of publishing my first website, and blogs, knowing my words reached numbers of people who would likely never meet me. Within a few years after starting my writing career, I had attained what every creator and artist wants -and- needs. An audience – a following – for their work.

For awhile, it was a straightforward formula for making a living doing what I loved; if you resonated with my work, you were highly likely to financially remunerate me with book sales and client sessions.

Over time, I’ve noticed less readers visit my site, more drop off the mailing list, and with fewer people reading, fewer still support my work. Newsletters? Blogs? Books? Not popular, says my dwindling numbers. It can be demoralizing.

For a while, I thought “it’s not you, it’s me”; all of MY changes. Ha! (How funny that we try and take responsibility for the weather). It’s true that when I switched gears from being a full on professional astrologer to intuitive and healer, I lost a few in the transition. However, I no longer think it’s just “me”.

***

We are in a new paradigm. Whereas once the internet was a smallish pond full of a handful of people in various industries and walks of life, it is now a big ocean full of many people starting their own businesses, creating, entrepeneur-ing. This, in large part was initiated by the pandemic. It’s radically changed us. There are people doing things for a living now that I hadn’t envisioned anyone doing. And you know where they are doing it? Social media.

I’m a writer who loves to write and publish. You’d think that would translate well since social media is, technically, a publishing platform that captures people’s attention -therefore their eyeballs, and, hopefully their hearts. But in this environment, growth is harder to come by for many Creators, Teachers and Artists.

Is it because information is both easier and much harder to find? Is it because I’m merely one fish in a big sea that is vast and well-populated? Is it because you are tired, and you’ve opted out- just too much distracting noise, for you? Is it because I’m a newspaper woman trying to sell newspapers when the whole world has gone digital  -or another “guess I’m an old dinosaur” metaphor? (I’m getting tired of that one though. I embrace my wisdom and experience. It gives me a perspective.)

***

Frankly, I’m perfectly okay with not following the crowd. In everything I am, if what I am considering is not in alignment with me, I won’t do it. Even if everyone else is (hey, URANUS RISING!). Even if I’m being told social media marketing is the only way- a story I’ve heard for years. For a long while, I sat on the social sidelines, feeling unpopular as hell but honoring that it wasn’t in alignment. Then, a shift occurred, for multiple reasons, but three spring to mind: First, I’m feeling better as a result of a new health treatment. So YAY ME!

Secondly, I started viewing IG, especially (for some reason FB hasn’t been as triggering) as MY blank canvas, MY tool for MY creativity. As a kid, I would take whatever tools I had around me and turn them into something fun, for me. I’d do it for myself, for my own magic and entertainment. As a child, I was never bored. I still don’t get bored (I’m suspicious of people who say they’re bored! Use your imagination!).

I like learning. I like creating. I can adapt to this new world. I can change my perception. I can share my poetry, writing and Divination Deck with people on multiple publishing formats. I can do videos!

…Not that it’s easy. Every time, I face down my RESISTANCE to getting in front of a camera.

Because going on camera brings up ALL my conditioning; every video you watch is a direct result of having been able to clear ongoing faulty self-perceptions that creep in. I have strong parental conditioning against being in my Author-ity, showing up as confident, sharing my wisdom, shining my light; I have been actively criticized, discouraged, gaslit -abused- for doing the above. All things I’m doing. So, in a way, this is good for me. It is once again leading me down that Cancerian/Capricorn path of healing, and stepping into my authority (it’s so interesting that I’m an author – seeing as I wasn’t allowed to have a Voice as a child).

There’s a third reason why I’ve warmed up to social media, decided to “do the work” to step into the new.

I can no longer sit here on my blog and hear crickets. I want an audience. I want to feel the lovely back ‘n forth of rapport between you and I. When I create multiple posts, both here and on social media, about my work or my Intuitive Energy Divination Deck -really, the love of my life, now (why don’t you have a copy yet?!) – and despite great feedback, efforts made don’t translate to engagement or sales, I am honestly perplexed.

Let me add: Pluto has been transiting my tenth house Mercury, via opposition. I’m a textbook example of this transit; I can no longer avoid adapting to new technology & tools, at least, not to my detriment. If I do not, because of my own resistance to what’s being asked/required of me, it impacts my mission, teaching, and ability to be heard (my tenth house Mercury). I’ve been asking the “hard questions” of myself.

***

So, I’m doing this now. Why am I sharing this with you? Over the years I’ve heard that you resonate with and feel supported by my writing, wisdom. I’m inviting you to join and engage with me on social media- because, if you don’t engage, that is, offer me your heart/reaction/comments, I’m not seen elsewhere and others miss out. It really IS a world where your engagement, your vote, allows me to be seen. Or not.

I’m putting it out here in black and white: If you haven’t adapted to the changing times, you, too, may want to reconsider your stance and figure out how to do it in a way that works for you. You CAN have boundaries with social media while also supporting your favorite artists, teachers and creators. I invite you to consider how often you receive help, inspiration, support, encouragement without interacting in exchange. I invite you to consider why your favorite artists, teachers and creators are spending much of their time here. Fewer bookstores, art galleries, teaching/community gathering spaces…It’s where folks are showing up now.

If you’re not there, I get it. All the noise is distracting. The internet has gotten weird over the years. This is just the beginning though. Pluto is entering Aquarius at the end of March; technology will continue to push our comfort zones. Things may get far weirder, probably more edgy and uncomfortable for the “dinosaurs” among us. Compared to what’s ahead of us, altering one’s relationship to social media…mmm, a doable baby step?

***

If you don’t visit us on the social media formats, understand this is the new NOW. Artists, educators, teachers, writers, musicians, all have been moved from brick and mortar to virtual mediums. Our purpose for living is still to offer you: inspiration!, hope!, spirituality!, beauty!, creativity!… but we can’t do that if you aren’t going to be available to the medium and format that has required us to adapt to it. Most of the Artists, Teachers and Creators you know and love are dealing with this EXACT SAME ISSUE. We talk about it all of the time, to one another – often behind the scenes, sometimes on social media, too. I am not alone.

***

And so here I am, attempting to adapt. I am getting curious. I am asking new questions of myself, and also of you, my faithful audience, as well. In a world that now requires Creators to be able to do it all ourselves – from creation to production to marketing -AND- do it on social, if one has a business one wants to succeed, it appears that not being on social media, not embracing new technology and learning, is no longer an option.

Thank you to my fan base, for sticking with me. With so many of you, I look forward to a lifelong relationship– filled with more books, more creativity, and more shared conversations about things that matter.

You can follow me on Facebook, at my Jessica Shepherd, Author & Healer page: right here. You can also follow me on Instagram, at my Jessica.Shepherd.Author.Healer page: right here.

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I was recently asked to share my journey by the site Go Solo.com which features small business owners. Here’s a link to that article https://gosolo.subkit.com/jessica-shepherd/  You can also read the article below. Enjoy!

Interested in starting your own entrepreneurial journey but unsure what to expect? Then read up on our interview with Jessica Shepherd, owner of Jessica Shepherd, Author & Healer, located in Honolulu, HI, USA.

What’s your business, and who are your customers?

Aloha! I am an author and healer based in Honolulu, Hawaii. My most recent project is creating the Intuitive Energy Divination Deck, a card deck and energy system designed to help you to listen inward and trust your own intuitive wisdom – your Divine True Self. I’ve walked the path of Guide for others for two decades. I was a professional astrologer and wellness coach. Then, I experienced an awakening of Awareness that put me outside my comfort zone on so many levels! At that point, I realized I am an empath and energy sensitive, and this foundational shift led me into new terrain as an Intuitive. Right now, I write for and teach those who want to learn how to more fully embody their intuition to become their own best Intuitive Guide. I am very interested in helping people to trust their own Inner Connection.

I am also the author of the self-help and spirituality books: A Love Alchemist’s Notebook: Magical Secrets for Drawing Your True Love Into Your Life (Llewellyn Publishing), Venus Signs: Discover Your Erotic Gifts and Secret Desires Through Astrology (Llewellyn Publishing), Karmic Dates & Momentary Mates: The Astrology of the Fifth House (Moonkissd), Follow the Moonlit Path: Come Home to Yourself in the Astrological Fourth House (Moonkissd).

Tell us about yourself

My life as an entrepreneur began when I became too ill to work at the job I’d been in. I was working at University as an assistant. I was very under-employed. By this, I mean almost none of my skill set- creativity, intuition, caring, artfulness, self-expression- was employed there. Fortunately for me (and I say this very tongue-in-cheek), I experienced too much chronic pain to stay in that environment. The day I quit was also the day I got a call from a company offering to pay me to write astrological articles and reports. Thus began my life as a professional writer!

Nowadays, I take things day by day. I don’t have a lot of survival pressure on me, and I feel extremely fortunate in this because here lays the mixed blessing of having chronic pain. It has also freed me into a full life by releasing me from many unnecessary pressures and burdens. Moving to Hawaii was also very freeing for me. Not only does the environment and culture feel more aligned with who I am, but it has also helped me to let go of a lot of the cultural “shoulds” about accomplishment, status, calling, and purpose and instead just relax into who I AM.

What’s your biggest accomplishment as a business owner?

My biggest accomplishments are my creative works. Given that I am not only a writer and author but also a self-publisher and designer, I’m flat-out amazed they come into being. The learning curves are steep! When I was a kid, reading novels, I’d always imagined a team of people doing stuff- like there’s no possible way I would’ve ever imagined how much work it is to birth a creative work. Now I’m the one doing it all. This fact makes it easy to go easy on me!

What’s one of the hardest things that comes with being a business owner?

I’d say the hardest thing about being a solo entrepreneur is falling into the trap of believing you are alone and have to do it all. The gig economy has made it easier to hire out. I can forget that, though, and feel utterly overwhelmed by what I’d like to do versus my limited energy.

What are the top tips you’d give to anyone looking to start, run and grow a business today?

My first tip would be to make sure you love what you do. That is a MUST. Because while it’s a joy, it’s also hard. You will need to self-motivate, and there will be learning curves.

Secondly, don’t believe anyone else’s success is more or better than yours. There’s a lot of illusion out there, plenty of “millionaires” and “experts” on tap. People have always thought I’m more successful (financially and otherwise) than I actually am.

Third, you are the value. It doesn’t matter how much you make. Doing it with joy is what it is all about.

Where can people find you and your business?

Website: https://www.moonkissd.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Moonkissd
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessica.shepherd.author.healer/

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Over the past few weeks I’ve recommitted to feeling GOOD.

I know my True Nature is to feel good; I deserve to feel good; and I know anytime I am not, it’s “not me or mine”.

This doesn’t mean that I will or should always feel good, but I recognize that when I don’t I am either in an energy or telling myself a story.

Let me be clear on what I am saying, on two counts: First, I am NOT a fan of New Thought ideas that perpetuate belief structures about keeping positive. I’m energy sensitive and therefore there is no friggin’ way I’m going to avoid FEELING low vibes – and, yes, sometimes even mistaking those for my own!

Plus, I have chronic pain so that’s like telling me if I don’t feel good, or if I have an emotional response to the pain (like: I’m sad, depressed, angry, I don’t want this pain again)…that I’m perpetuating my demise.

This belief structure truly only stimulates shame and guilt for those who already struggle. I find even good-hearted spiritual teachers can have a big blind spot when it comes feeling good. Personally, I just don’t believe that we have the power to create it ALL -including how we feel. (I wrote a post about this on my Facebook page, so if this resonates with you, check it out).

However, I do know if I don’t feel this way: Essentially okay, centered, and my energy body truly KNOWS I AM GOOD NO MATTER WHAT I’M EXPERIENCING – I’m either in an energy, or a mental story… and neither of those are “me” because: I AM GOOD. I AM ALWAYS A YES. It’s my True Nature!

When I’m not GOOD …well, I have temporarily forgotten that I actually am GOOD. And getting back to GOOD is always within my Power & Control (fun fact: I actually wrote, and played, a song called Getting Back to Good… when I was learning to play guitar!).

If it’s a physical pain or ache I am experiencing, that doesn’t feel good, of course! Again, that is not within my control. Ironically, though, it’s usually the story that’s the most painful. Once identified, I can return to GOOD.

Perhaps it’s an energy – I’m feeling off or yucky- and because I’m energy sensitive, I can certainly feel crap. But if I don’t clear it, I’ll think that crap-feeling is me, and it’s NOT. This is trickier to recognize than you’d think.

But, I’ve discovered: If you are one hundred percent resolute and determined to KNOW & FEEL YOURSELF AS ONLY LIGHT, it gets less tricky.

In this Spirit, and right here in this Aquarius Dark/New Moon time – so good for release and clearing- I would like to offer you a simple technique for clearing your energy field so you can come back to feeling GOOD.

Comfortably sit in a place where you can feel your feet on the ground, and your spine supported.Now, settle back… into your spine, seat, legs and feet. Relax. Let yourself be here and nowhere else.Breathe in, and on your out breath feel your breath travel down your spine, seat, legs and feet.Do this several times. Inhale, and on the exhale, repeat to yourself: spine, seat, legs and feet, while connecting with these areas, feel your breath travel that distance – like water running downward.Your breath is directing your energy, and like water moving down into the ground, it is cleansing and clearing from the inside. Notice that you are moving energy with your breath.Give your self total PERMISSION to release anything that is not you.Say to your self: I have PERMISSION to release all that is NOT ME (while acknowledging that anything you are experiencing which doesn’t feel good is not you. Don’t question it. Trust.).As you repeat  “spine, seat, legs and feet” and experience that lovely water feeling, you are experiencing yourself subtly shifting your own energy. You are experiencing your ability, your Divine power, to release anything untrue for you – which is, anything that is NOT LIGHT.Send it into the ground, into the Earth. Imagine it all pooling under your feet and seeping into the Earth.You can do this for as long as you need – until you experience clear unobstructed energy.

p.s.- If you like audio energy practices, hop over to my page at Soundcloud and follow me there!

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DIVINE INTERVENTION: “Help is here and available for the asking.”
(or, IF YOU NEED HELP, YOU’VE GOT TO ASK FOR IT.)

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It’s the first full moon of the new year, and it’s a Cancer Full Moon so let’s hear it for all the feels. For Cancer, truly caring for ourselves equals honestly meeting our NEEDS – for care, emotional support, nourishment. This lunation is also square Chiron, which can feel prickly, tender and vulnerable for some.

I’m calling this one my “crisis of care” lunation- because at 16 Cancer-Capricorn, it is exactly square my ASC-DSC axis as well as my Aries Moon. This morning, my feelings related to needing emotional care and support around community, relationships, and health providers really hit the fan -so to speak.

And, because I have been turning to my NEW Intuitive Energy Divination Deck for its gorgeous and strong assistance, I got major traction from working with this card (this one, and the BE MORE SELFISH card :-)).

Yes, today, I was reminded, emotionally and loudly, that our prayers and desires can ONLY be answered through a) our specificity, and b) our courageous voicing and claiming of them.

If they are a barely articulated wish…or covered over with emotional flotsam and jetsom… that’s like shouting our strong co-creative voice, to Spirit/our Soul, from the bottom of a deep well.

Not very empowering.

I know this, of course, but I have been in some kind of Chironian no-woman’s land. Things have been muddled by a hard month of physical symptoms. So, I really appreciated these card prompts. They pulled me out of a gray zone of confused longing for relief, and into actionable clarity.

After a big cry, my third house Capricorn North Node came up with a list of needs (when I shared this list with my best friend, as well as the action steps I was planning on taking -some I had already just taken, she congratulated me for “stepping into your executive self CEO Capricorn power.”)

Love her.

…And guess what? That made me cry, too. LOL. …I felt so cared for and emotionally supported by her!

**
If you are feeling like: no one is hearing your prayers, or having your prayers answered is about as rare as receiving a message in a bottle; or perhaps you have simply forgotten your own Divine Authority –to trust that asking for what you need and want will make it so-…This is a prompt for you.

…What do you need help with?

…What would you love for Spirit/Your Soul to orchestrate for you right now?

Put it in the comments below*. I’ve shared mine. <3

…PLAY WITH ME!

…LET’S CREATE SOME MAGIC FOR US! Tough things can only really change when we decide to articulate what we want, and stand up FOR them in no uncertain terms. That’s when we claim what’s ours.

*NOTE: Be mindful. NO advice-giving, or pitching services (I will delete). If you feel called to help another, you can post your experiences in your own comments and tag the person.

**

Here’s the text, from the guidebook:

43. Divine Intervention

Help is here and available for the asking.

When we are afraid or hurting, it is easy to think we are alone in this life. In Divine reality, which is the True reality, we are in eternal connection, so intervention from the Spirit world is occurring constantly and is always available to us.

Are you feeling afraid, alone, disconnected from the experiential knowing and total trust in the Divine Plan for you, and for everyone? Are your human troubles and fears understandably distracting you from placing your trust in the perfection of life and Source? Did you temporarily forget that everything is unfolding in perfection and love? Is fear obscuring your connection, making it hard for you to know “what to do”?

The appearance of this card suggests it is time to align with your Divinity, Spirit/God/Goddess, All That Is, and to call on helpers, or the spiritual help you need, like: Grace, Trust, Faith, Peace.

All are available to you for the asking.

Get grounded, rooted, and centered. Sincerely ask to experience and deeply know perfect Faith, Trust, Peace, and Grace in this situation. Call it forth. Then wait.

All emotions are temporary energies, but just like strong weather, intense emotion can distract us from our inner listening and knowing. We can forget our own wisdom and find it difficult to listen inward. However, even amidst the strongest of distracting emotions, if you can locate just a thimble full of trust, one iota of Light, you will energetically be back online and able to access your intuitive guidance.

Decide, right now, that you are back online, that you are Peace, and you will begin to feel the Peace that is yours. Then, your next step will become intuitively obvious, without any hesitation or doubt. Call it prayer, aligning with All That Is, or remembering the I AM, it is time to re-center into this Truth: you are Love. All is perfection. And Spirit has got your back.

Symbol: Message in a bottle on a beach. Sometimes it feels like no one hears us or is listening. That answered prayers are as rare as receiving a message in a bottle. Divine Spirit, no matter how far away you perceive it to be, is right here and now, and your acknowledgement of this allows your concerns, worries, and hopes to be gently carried on the sea of Love directly to your Source Self. Sand symbolizes broken down barriers and obstacles; allow your fears to melt, give them over to Source. You are both message and bottle, the questioner and the answer to your own prayers. Re-center your faith on this: what your Soul most desires is about to happen for you. A solution will arrive soon, perhaps on a beach near you!

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Here’s a link to the NEW Rainbow version 2.0 card deck!

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Every year, from mid November thru January, it’s a good idea to pull inward. Why? At this time of year, energetic dis-resonance is higher.

Holiday cheer contrasting with the real suffering of human life; materialism with financial restrictions; not to mention the many social commitments, which circulate flus and colds, obligations toward family and the accompanying guilt and pressure…

Plus, we are heading into Solstice, 12/21, Capricorn season. All of Nature -human, plant and animal- is meant to be slowing down, hibernating, resting.

So, every year when I start feeling a little extra funky, I recommit to practicing more intentionality around my psychic boundaries.

(I call my awareness of invisible energies, and how they affect my interactions, life and relationships, my “psychic boundaries.”)

This awareness keeps me feeling healthier, less depleted, less of an empathic sponge to unwanted energies.

Want to try?

In practice, for you, this might look like:

-only committing to what (and who) feels joyful and resonant for you.
-only giving gifts if it feels loving and joyful to do so.
-making much more space for surrender, stillness and inwardness.
-intentionally focusing on the good things that you personally love about the season, and making sure you give yourself those gifts.
-cancelling or cutting back on work, if possible! It may not be for some, and if you receiving good energy by all means do it…But healers, especially (if you are a natural NURTURER, you are a healer), deeply benefit from recouping and regenerating energies at this time of year.

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Times of intense transformation and release requires deep dives inward, and creating a safe space for whatever wants to be felt to emerge. Not only because it’s just good self care, but because when we get QUIET and STILL we can catch the golden nuggets here for us.

And, when we honor the urge to go inward, we also fortify, strengthen, ourselves for what’s next. This is what we are meant to be doing now.

Not to mention, life gets richer, deeper, when we are present to ourselves.

I am enjoying stillness with the birds, four of which, right now, sit in a little row, huddled together on a fence, grooming one another.

…May you find a comfy, happy, place that allows you to be inward.

(This watercolor sketch is of me in a happy place, Abiquiu, NM! You can purchase this as a greeting card right here.)

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