Heather Graham's Blog, page 6

I saw this on Facebook the other day and it made me think about the 200 plus years of growing pains that our country has gone through. We were based on the concept of equality for all—but the country was still filled with slave owners and certainly meant that in their minds all men were created equal but women were—women.

Okay, so we’ve come pretty far. We stood up against the rest world and fought a civil war that abolished slavery.

Then we went scores of years before giving women the vote and giving our African American population a guarantee in the law—if not in the minds of all—that they were equal and the same. Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King and others brought us away from desegration.

Now, let’s face it. As it’s said in the wonderfully imaginative and funny play Avenue Q, one of the denizens points out, “Everybody’s a little bit prejudice.”

But we’ve fought so hard and long for equality among the sexes, religions, the many colors of humanity we come in, and our choice as far as relationships go, be they traditional or same sex. We have come a long, long way in realizing that we’re all part of this human rat race and all truly entitled to the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness.

This picture really made me think. I pray that we keep going forward as Americans, in recognizing everyone’s rights—including their right to find happiness in their own personal way—continue. We are as great as all out individual parts—I’d like to believe that we’ll continue to forge forward as a nation, and never take steps backwards that encourage prejudice or cruelty in any way, shape, or form.

And here it is . . . one of the finest money making days of the years for greeting card companies, second only to Christmas!

Valentine’s Day!

Some will make a point to profess their love for a sweetheart. Some will think that they haven’t a sweetheart at the moment and be depressed—other will think that they haven’t a sweetheart at this moment and see a movie and maybe treat themselves to a great dinner!

But, the reason we celebrate is really quite nice, even if it is shrouded in myth and maybe only partially true—or if the legend is really based on the lives of several men.

Legend goes that evil Claudius II of Rome believed that soldiers fought better when they didn’t have wives, and therefore, he put a ban on marriage. Valentine was a priest—a no-no in the eyes of Claudius from the get-go. But Valentine believed in the love and the sanctity of marriage. He was said to have done good deeds akin to miracle and he had also welcomed young lovers for clandestine marriages in his church—perhaps down in the catacombs? Who knows where this was, but those who believed in love came to him. Claudius got his hands on Valentine and blinded him; Valentine merely tried to teach Claudius the goodness of Christianity. Claudius wasn’t to bed, and beloved by so many, Valentine was executed.

In the age of Chaucer, when romance and high gallantry flourished, Valentine was honored.

And to this day, we honor of the memory of the man (or the several men named Valentine) who gave his life for the beauty of love—in its many guises.

So, hey, the economy needs it! Go out and get some chocolates, buy some cards, and give someone some flowers.

There’s nothing wrong about honoring one of our finest human emotions—love!

A week goes by quickly. I'm getting ready to head to the Big Easy, and realized that I'd meant to comment on Roger right after his show, and now it's a week later. So, back a week! Last Thursday, Roger Lopez, a friend of Shayne and Bryee and crew, made his first appearance on stage as at the Improv in Coconut Grove. I was very proud of him, first, just for getting up there, and living a dream, and secondly because he held his own. It reminded me of how hard it was to take a chance. Any time anyone goes into any of the arts, they are taking a chance. It's put yourself out there. Hope for the best, believe you can provide what someone will like and hope that you'll be good at it and grow and grow. But be ready for the slings and arrows. Let's face it, rejection hurts. For a comic, the lack of laughter is painful. For an author, it's a bad review. Roger did just fine. He was nervous; but he was there. It's the stuff you grow on. Taking a chance is strange and hard and often painful. But here's the thing, too--if you don't take the chance, you're throwing yourself a curve ball harder than any you'll ever have thrown out at you by someone else. The more chances you take, the more often you'll dare, and the more often you dare, the better you'll be at what you want. I realized that the audience out there last week was not out to attack, they were out to enjoy. And they did. Well, let's face it, some audiences will be out to attack. But most of the time, they want to enjoy. So you have to think "Rocky Horror." Don't dream it, be it. Roger was good. One day, he'll roll with the audience in every direction, and he'll just get better and better. He'll go out with confidence, knowing that he's done it, and survived, and not only that, he had a taste of the stage, so he knows he can go on and rule it. He won't please everyone--no one ever does! But he'll garner more and more of an audience every time.

From Roger onto Mystery Writers and Sleuthfest. I hadn't been to speak to our local group in a long time. I was actually a little nervous, and I've spoken hundreds of times. They were kind of a new audience. I was doing a seance. Because I'd written a book called the seance. And because I'd been to a seance. Not because I was really capable of having a seance. So I decided to do an historical view of how spiritualism came into being, and how many people used the beliefs of others as a scam. A wig, a costume. Back to the basics of a theater education. Become another person. Then you aren't the one taking the risk.

But people were ready to play along. They were great, and we had a wonderful time. Britin had a marvelous reaction to her "spirit," and it became a venue of "Ghost" meets "When Harry Met Sally." Not only that, but we had a real psychic there, and she was totally gracious when I introduced her and she spoke. She was truly lovely. (Not only that, but she later "bought" a character name from me at auction, and I think we formed a very nice friendship!)
So. On to the Renaissance festival, in Deerfield Beach as well. (Sometimes, it's good to let a week go by. I'd almost forgotten the hour and a half it took to get the forty miles from Miami to Deerfield!) But the festival is in the same city, just blocks away. So Bryee, Piks (Kathy Pickering) and I headed out to see Zhenia's booth. I loved it! Lots of cool artists out there with their wares--taking chances. Costumes, activities. I won a letter at archery for hitting the heart in the bullseye. It wasn't actually my bullseye, the one I'd been aiming at, but it was a bullseye. On a rather frightening vein, I discovered that I do have an amazing ability to throw knives. I'm even darned good with a two-handed battle-ax.

Back to our cocktail party by the pool, where I discovered just how wonderful and friendly all the folks were in the slightly-different-venue that had caused a few of the old shivers to run down my spine. Onward to the Coconut Creek casino, a new venue of a known venue as well. A new result of the old result--I walked in and won, only to play it all back.
Sunday morning and I went to hear Lee Child speak. He's the ultimate gentleman--and the English accent doesn't hurt a bit. I've gotten to hear Lee speak many times, as we're often at the same functions, but he's always clever, honest, earnest, and entertaining. He has trouble choosing names for his characters. His main protagonist is Reacher. The man's name is Reacher because he was in a store and a small woman kept asking him, as a tall man, to reach something for her. Definitely, the man is amusing. And his words of wisdom are always . . . words of wisdom, well worth hearing!

Sunday afternoon, back to the fair. Faire. I'm not sure which! More knife throwing. If I could actually do that once a week, it would be a great stress breaker! Ah, well. But I may take up archery and find out if I can actually hit my own bullseye.

Down to South Beach to pick up Chynna at a friends; their class had been paid to a performance art piece for a movie premiere. However, the phone we had just taken forever and a lot of trips to actually replace was not charged--I sat around a long time, huffing and puffing, waiting for her to call me. I needed to run back to the fair and throw things--knives, battle axes, whatever!--but that wasn't to be. Eventually found Chynna, and we headed home, where the dread cold being nursed eternally by other members of my family finally sniggled its way into my being. Swilling vitamin C. I'm hoping the soy chips I live on will help fight it off!

Tomorrow, back to the Big Easy. I do love it.

The moral of the story is this--there are certain things we're all comfortable doing. I can actually speak at the drop of a hat, I'm very accustomed to it. But no matter how far we go, we're all a little afraid to put ourselves out there, to try to tell others what we have to believe ourselves--that we have something to give, that we have a talent, one good enough to share. I always decided that the one really good thing about having been a theater major/in theater was that I did learn how to be good at rejection. But you'll never garner the prize if you don't get in the ring. Adage--we only go around once. Do it. Don't just write it. Mail it. Get it to where you're happy, you're proud, and get it out there. Let that baby that's in your inner soul fly from the nest. That's the only way it can really take wing. And soar.

I'm often asked for advice, so I'm going to write a page with advice, and to make sure that my advice is taken with a grain a salt, the first piece of advice I have to give is that reading is subjective. I may love something, you may hate it. That's true with any art form, visual, music, movies, and the written word. You must be true to yourself--however, if you have a dozen editors tell you that something is a cliche, trite, or overdone, it probably is, and you need to step back and take a look at your work.

Writing can be different for different people. Diaries are something many people keep, and some, especially those written during historic eras, later become best sellers--often after the record keeper is long dead.

So, there is writing for your own pleasure, and there is writing for publication. First up, and this isn't always easy, know what you're writing. Any bookstore has shelves, and certain books go on certain shelves. Often, when I ask someone what they're working on, they'll give me a vague description of many things. This is fine, because I'm your friend, or I'm trying to help you. But when you're trying to publish with a major commercial publisher, they want you to know exactly what you're doing and what your market is going to be.

My next suggestion. If you're going into fiction, write what you love to read. The world is wide open right now. Mysteries, slashers, horror, romance, sci-fi, fantasy--we've reached a point where publishers have discovered that there is a market out there for so many types of fiction. Even "mixed" fiction, or fiction that crosses the lines and appeals to readers of many genres. But know what you're mixing, and always know why you should be writing what you're writing. That doesn't mean that you have to write books with bridges in them if you're an engineer. It's valid to say that you are working on a cozy mystery because you've spent your life reading every possible book of that genre you can find. Or suspense. Or horror. You spent your life watching Hammer films. You lived for Poe, or even more literary authors. Settle in your mind what you want, what your goal is with your writing, and then take steps to reach that goal.

Smart steps. Writers love company. They love the company of other writers. Writers usually know what's going on. They know when a new house has opened. They know when an old house has opened a new line. They even know if a particular editor has a bee in his or her bonnet when it comes to a certain type of fiction, or even a place, or name. In selling, these things can make a difference. If you're far away from any known civilization, there are still dozens of talented and published authors offering courses on the Internet. You can be part of Internet readers groups.
I know people who are successful, published authors who have come from every walk of life, from those who have achieved several doctorates to those who might still be working on their GEDs. Men and women. CEOs and stay-at-home moms. They all have one thing in common--they love to read. They may not spell brilliantly, they may not have the most amazing command of the English language. But they are willing to learn, and they read like crazy. They write, because they have loved so much to read.

They are story tellers.

And on to that particular piece of advice--get your story down. Tell your story from beginning to end. Make it exciting. Don't wear yourself out correcting and re-correcting page one. Once you're told your whole wonderful story and you don't think your first page is or first pages are worthy, go back. But don't make yourself sick of a story before you've told it.

Listen to advice, and throw out advice. When an editor who has the power to buy your story suggests you change something, that's really the time to do it.

Learn to take criticism. Learn to weigh it. What is valuable, and what is someone's opinion that might not be shared by a larger audience, your audience. If you've been reading like crazy, you will know what audience you are striving to gather. Again, all opinions can be valid, but the opinions that matter are the ones that come from those who can buy your book.

Don't try to correct things at first--make sure you do correct them before you send them off. They will not reject an amazing story because of errors, but they will put down a "maybe" story if it's costing them their eyesight. Make sure your manuscript is double-spaced, margined, as free from typos as you can make it, and as clean and neat. That's after you've given your heart to the story.

Buy Writer's Digest Writer's Market. The current issue. Or get it at the library, if every penny counts. You can find out who is buying what, and how they want it submitted. Address your manuscript to the name of the editor at the house you have chosen who is actively purchasing your type of fiction. (Or nonfiction!)

People can be born rich. They are not born published. Sure, sleep with the president, and it will be easy to sell a book. Not always feasible! Nor can everyone be a sports star, movie star, or personality. You may have luck immediately, you may spend time looking. If you're serious, you tell your story and make it wonderful. You learn how to write a great query letter that will tell an editor cleanly what your book is about, why it would fit perfectly with the publishing house, and why you're qualified to write it. You will learn how to write a succinct synopsis that excites an editor. Remember, it must tell the whole story--they do not want a synopsis that ends with, "And you won't believe what happens then!"

Be Internet savvy. (I'd have given a lot for that talent!) You can do research on the Internet, you can market on the Internet, you can find out about publishers on the Internet.

The path to publication is never the same for any two people. If you're rejected, hopefully it will be with a note. The note will give you advice. See if you can make it work. Send out to a number of houses. Know whether they do or do not accept multiple submissions. You'll now know this because you'll have Writer's Digest Writer's Market, or lots of friends a few steps ahead of you because you've joined a group. A group that you can find on the Internet, such as (key words) Mystery Writers of America, Romance Writers of America, International Thriller Writers, and Horror Writer's of America. There are so many more; most regions have fiction groups, most junior colleges offer creative writing.

Don't do it if you don't love it. Don't write if you don't read--you'll really annoy other writers a whole lot! Sometimes, you'll just write something, you'll find an agent, the agent will love your work, it will go on auction, and someone will give you a zillion dollars. Sometimes. That's not the norm. You'll probably go through trial and error. You'll have to get a rejection letter and smile at your wife or husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, and kids or friends, and pretend like a little piece of you isn't insulted and breaking. A little suffering is good, because it's a tough field, and you need to be tough. And, besides, most of the published people out there have been rejected, and we're human, we want you to suffer a little, too.

Keep at it. If you want it, never say die. Tenacity is nine-tenths of law.

Time . . . .
Working all day? Ten kids? Laundry? A household to support? Yes, it's very hard. But be committed. If it's a page a day, in a year, that's 365 pages. Whatever it is that you give, do it as religiously as you would pump iron if you were trying to be Mr. or Mrs. America. (Or Ms.)
There's some basic advice, and remember, weigh what works for you. Every person out there is different, and that's the beauty of what we do. If you're down, remember J.K. Rowling had been rejected many, many times. Often, you have to find the right home.
Tell a great story. That's the most important. Tell a wonderful story, and while you're shopping it, sit down and tell another wonderful story. Don't ever stop. Don't ever, ever let anyone tell you that it's a pipe dream. Dreams are lost because we believe they can't be reached. Believe in yourself. Think Nike. Just do it.