C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 2

Learning means unlearning. Think about this. The process of learning is inextricable from the process of unlearning. You cannot learn if you do not unlearn. This is a waltz; a well-balanced dance. As you unlearn; you learn. As you learn; you unlearn.

Most people in this world are going to approach situations, events, choices and encounters; carrying with them a box full of their lessons gathered thus far in life. A limited box filled to the brim. A pail of ocean water they believe is the ocean itself. All of these individuals will be thinking that there is always a lesson they may conveniently pull out of their box for application to the moment at hand.

These lessons in their boxes come from a variety of places: parents, school, siblings, personal experiences, books, film, sacred text, religions, culture, society, community, so on and so forth. This is the pail of ocean water they believe to be the ocean itself.
Now, inevitably, everyone finds themselves in moments of needing to unlearn a thing in order to utilize what is applicable and beneficial to an ongoing experience or circumstance.

Because nobody will ever face every possible situation in existence, until they are dead. When you are dead, you may then say that you have faced every possible situation in your life. But for as long as you are alive, you are not there yet. For as long as you are alive, you will need to unlearn a thing (a belief, a pattern, a method, a way, an ideal) in order to step up in a moment that calls for something new, something unfamiliar to you.

You will be faced with two choices: revert to what is comfortable and familiar; or, immediately unlearn the familiar in this moment while opening yourself to adapting what you need in this present moment right here and now. Learning on your feet; that's what I call it. Learn on your feet. And to learn on your feet, you must, in that same breath, UNlearn on your feet!

I am not ever impressed by a resolute mind stuck in old, bygone patterns. I am not ever impressed by presentations of morals and ideals upholding bygone methods. This only shows me that you're not going anywhere other than where you currently stand and that I will have no new experiences with you. I don't need to go downward; I in fact need to go upward.

If you learn how to UNlearn; if you master the art of learning and unlearning on your feet; you will already be outperforming the majority of your competition in anything at all. In whatever field you find yourself in. Simply by being quick to unlearn, you have already guaranteed yourself a front row seat to life itself.

It's astonishing: the moment you become aware that your propensity to over-give is in fact a defense mechanism. You give and give and give in a bid to avoid the difficult task of actively requiring that others treat you right. 

Over-giving is your way of taking control of what you believe is inevitable: that others will never treat you right because they don't love you. If you just give too much, that affords you room to say, "I'm always the giver and everybody takes from me." 

"Everybody takes" not because they have shortcomings; rather, "because I'm always the giver." Because you're too good, everyone else falls short. That's what this is really about. That's the narrative your mind came up with to protect you.

In reality, if you were to simply take a step back and allow others the space to also give to you, then you would have to look them square in the face and come to terms with whether or not they actually want to give; whether or not they're actually worth your time; and, whether or not they actually love you at all. That's what this is really about.

Giving has no value at all unless it balances itself with receiving. The combination of giving, pushing and hiding has no value to bring.

Remember to also be a receiver and never forget to be humble enough to look people straight in the face and ask the big questions: do they actually love me, do they even want to give to me, are they treating me right? This makes all the difference.

It is unfortunate that people so seldomly come to the realisation that it takes humbleness to be a receiver. It takes humbleness applied to multiple angles in order to be a receiver.

Because it takes humbleness to be vulnerable, to be truthful with oneself, and to consciously place oneself in the position of willingness to wait for another to move.

When you meet someone carrying a basket of rocks, would you ask them to give you a rose? Of course not. You ask the person carrying a basket of roses to give you a rose. Why are you expecting roses from people carrying rocks?

People will only ever be capable of relating with you, seeing you, and giving to you; in the exact same ways they relate with, see, and give to, themselves.

Now imagine a person living in the paradise of the Swiss Alps. They live in a cottage on a sloping meadow, beside a flowing brook, alongside lambs and alpine rose gardens. They are within paradise and paradise is within them; do you think such a person would have the time and interest to see the worst in you, shame you and find all the bad in you?

What we carry within ourselves and see within ourselves, are exactly the same spaces we will be able to hold open for, and see in, others. We cannot find the gutters when we are in the Alps. We cannot find the Alps when we are in the gutters. We cannot walk in rose gardens when we live under bridges and we cannot see what lurks under the bridges when we walk in rose gardens.

Every person is only capable of relating to others, seeing in others, and finding for others; what they first have been able to embrace in themselves, see in themselves, and find for themselves. A person who has embraced their own shame and found the best in themself will also embrace the shame of others and find the best in others.

Nobody is able to move beautifully in the life of someone else a minute before they are able to move beautifully for themself in their own life. We give what we have. We cannot possibly give what we don't have. It is a very real and simple principle!

When you are mistreated, shamed and looked upon as less than; never for a second should you think that those who do you in these ways are doing so from a loftier place than your own. They are not! As they do to you, they so hold within themselves, they fail to embrace in themselves and they do in fact experience within themselves. Do not feel pain from such people. For how can you expect roses from those who are carrying rocks?

If someone embraces your shame and finds the best in you, that is because what they have been able to do for themself and within themself, they naturally do for others. A person in the Swiss Alps sees gardens. A person living under the bridge sees trash. What a person sees is exactly where a person is at.

Those who chastise, shame and ridicule you, are flowing from a place that is theirs and theirs alone. It's not your space, it is never about you. Those who carry baskets of rocks will throw rocks while those who carry baskets of roses will plant and give roses.
I can carry paradise within me, I can carry the Swiss Alps within me, along with all its alpine roses. I can be the garden of Eden. Thus, I have set myself free from the burdens of others' perceptions; it is compassion which sets me free, for I can only feel compassion for those living under bridges. How can I feel for them anything other than this?

Shame is an immensely popular tool in our world today. Shame is a tool used by people to control, manipulate and exploit others. The problem is not that shame exists; rather, the problem is that we share a world with people who, when given the chance, will in fact try to control, manipulate and exploit other human beings with any tool they can find.

People wield shame as a tool of influence, pointing it at others; when in reality, it is they who wield shame as a tool who in fact deserve to feel ashamed!

It is not shameful to be weak, to make mistakes, to be compromised. Why should anyone be ashamed of the elements involved in a truly raw and real human experience? Every human being on this planet has been weak, has made mistakes, and has been compromised. These are elements of what it means to be human.

But to exploit, manipulate, control and coerce another human being? These are all legitimate causes for shame to rot your life. The desire to see someone shamed is shameful.
You may think you can outwit shame but the truth is that she is a worldly, wealthy woman who will sell out those who use her. She will sell you out to the highest bidder, turn you into livestock, into cattle. Freshly ground meat. You cannot use shame without being cut wide open. She simply will not allow it.

Shame is a lonely girl and when you befriend her, she will reward you with riches. She is a gatekeeper. Your life begins on the other side of shame. She'll provide you with a boat filled with barrels of gold bars if only you choose to be brave enough to sail the river to the other side.

But if you use her? Now that's a different story. Use shame against others to your own benefit and I can assure you, she will cut you open and leave your guts on the chopping board at the public market. 

Good morning, wonderfuls! Are you ready for some sizzling hot knowledge served on a plate of boiling hot iron?♨️♨️♨️ In order to better digest this meal, I strongly suggest participating in the previous lesson that came before this one. You'll thank me for it later. Now, are you ready? 

Most of my life, I have been terrified. My friends have told me, its like I'm an ox; "how do you always keep on going?" My friends come to me for a shoulder to lean on, as if I'm some kind of strong person. The truth is, most of my life, my knees have been shaking and my voice has been trembling.

None of us come into this world knowing what's going to happen to us, we don't get a pamphlet, we don't have instructions. But the best skill that any of us can ever develop is the skill of reinvention.

Resetting, rebuilding, reinventing, restarting. We can't just hold onto the tools we were born with; we have to in fact take the tools provided to us by life's experiences and reinvent ourselves as we go along.

Yes, it takes courage to believe in oneself. But what else are you going to do? Believe in ourselves we must. Because this life is a gift and there's a whole lot of living that needs to be had! Are you going to live or are you just going to stand there?

It's also really about the readiness and humbleness to accept the feeling of shame, and realise that, just like any other emotion, shame is temporary. Shame is not the end.

But if you cannot move through shame because of pride? That's the end. Your life really stops there. On the other side of shame, your life jumps up and down, calling out your name! Your life starts on the other side of shame.

Failure does not actually exist, it is not a real thing. Failure is a metric of concept implemented into our brains so we are driven to fuel a system that is set in place. You may always change course, you may always reinvent the narrative, you may always replace the rules. You may always get up again after a fall. It's not failure; it's physics!

If you get divorced that means you now have an opportunity to take what you've learned and turn into a new direction. If you get fired that means you now have an opportunity to hit restart someplace new. Shame will reward you for learning how to walk alongside her.

When you think about it, shame is a lonely girl; nobody wants to be seen with her. But she's actually crazy rich and if you learn how to sit at the lunch table with her, she'll give you all the treasures you need to make it on your new journey.

In my life I have kept on going with a trembling voice and weak knees. They call me an ox, they think I'm strong; but really, I am simply the friend of shame and she smiles upon me ever so graciously.

Okay, wonderfuls, it's another beautiful day with another beautiful lesson from the 9th Dimension served up nice and warm for you. 🤲🫀

Giving all my secrets away because the world is apocalypsing and collecting into a new form and this is now the time. ⌛

In order to digest this effectively, I would advise reading the previous article. Kindly read that first then come back to this one. You'll be thankful that you did!

📝Something to keep in mind as a footnote while reading this lesson: "being" a Pawn is entirely unrelated to "moving" as a Pawn. Bear this in mind, please.📝

If you are keen enough, you'll be able to spot in this lesson the denouncing of a certain global leader who is placed in a favourable limelight right now. Though, that's not the purpose for this lesson, you'll be able to spot the reference nonetheless if you're keen enough.

Time moves so fast now and the lessons and tools are coming at you every day now, whheewww, I'm exhausted. 😅😅😅

Let us commence :

The Queen of a chessboard is the most powerful piece in terms of moves and also value. Nevertheless, she may still move as a Pawn moves. The Pawn is a chessman of least worth in terms of moves and also value. Nevertheless, a Pawn may take out the Queen with the right moves.

Most people would say the Queen dominates the board with much pomp. But this is how I see it; of all the pieces, the Queen is solely unafraid to be seen as less-than. She is not afraid to make Pawn moves. She does not limit herself to the confines of the absence of shame. She is not limited by the fear of shame. She is not limited by pride.

Pride is when you're the Queen and you wouldn't be caught dead in the position of a Pawn. But that's not how the Queen moves the chessboard, that is not how she wins the game. She wins the game by not entertaining blinding pride, which is, the fear of the experience of shame.

I learned all my lessons by observing Queen Elizabeth the First. She was arguably the greatest leader following the Pharaohs of Egypt. She heralded England's Golden Age, a remarkable era of progress and flourishing in British history unparalleled unto this day.

Queen Elizabeth the First never underestimated anyone. She never pomped about like a lion; rather, she was similar to a serpent. The lion is easily removed because it thinks nothing can hurt it. It trusts the favours of both God and man to smile upon it endlessly. The serpent, however, is well aware that, at any moment, someone may step on its head. As a result, it moves and acts accordingly.

It is far more likely that a lion be killed by a snake than it is for a snake to be trampled by a lion. A serpent is not afraid to take humble positions and to be seen as less-than. The serpent values life over honour. The serpent values survival over accolades. The serpent is not afraid of the existence of shame. In the end, the serpent lives and flourishes.

Queen Elizabeth the First was never afraid to behave in ways that seemed unworthy of her titles. She was not one to shy away from appealing to the good nature in others, or appealing to the friendship or mercy of others, even those of lesser ranking than herself. She was well aware that Queens could be taken out by Pawns. Though a Queen, she, too, had mastered Pawn moves. Not only Pawn moves; but also, Rook, Bishop, and King moves.

Blinding pride, or, the fear of the experience of shame, has slaughtered women and children; old man and young man; in wars and battles since the birth of civilization! How much blood would have been saved if every leader we have ever known, simply knew how to let go of nickels and dimes in favour of survival and life! If lions could behave as serpents, how many children would be saved?

If, upon meeting me, you feel that I am different; it is because I am. Queen Elizabeth the Firsts are rare creatures. You won't find me living by the usual confines of deceptive value systems and worthless honour. A Queen must be able to move as a Pawn in order to lead a kingdom and that is something only a real Queen can do. 

It's very interesting. There are two kinds of people: the kind that looks out over the panorama of life and sees all that they need to become and that needs to be done; then, there's the other kind of person, who, when looking out over the panorama of life, decides that becoming and doing are not nearly as important as other people looking at them and thinking that they have become and done.

What this means, is that, there are people in this world who have decided that manipulating the minds of those around them into holding certain opinions about them, is far easier than actually being the person they wish to be seen as.

"Why bother with actually being faithful, if I can just make everyone around me think that I am?"; "Why bother living graciously if I can simply cause those around me to think that I am gracious?"; "Why go through the trouble of being transparent when it's easier to manipulate people's opinions of me into thinking I am transparent and honest?"

For some people, manipulation is the easier and more effective route: living for the eyes of others instead of for their own pair of eyes looking back at them in the mirror. Why bother with the cumbersome task of finding true love when you can make other people think you've found it? Why stress over being happy in a relationship when it's way too easy to just make other people think it's a happy relationship?

Then there's the other kind of person living directly out of their heart: what you see is what you get! To live from the heart, to become and to mould, to relinquish and to sail, to love madly and to let go truly. A life worth breathing for! A life seen in one's own reflection in their own mirror. Whether in heartache or in happiness; all is transparent! This is the life void of shame.

It's ironic. Because they say that we are put to shame when others see us as less favourable. Au contraire! The inability to live transparently and from the heart is the result of shame. You are already ashamed, born into this world ashamed, afraid of not living to the expectations of others. And if you're not careful, you're going to die that way too! Dying as someone who never became, never did, never felt, never really lived. 

As a child, every minute was pure magic. I saw all things bathed in a golden wash of stars. Curtains weren't curtains; they were sails on ships! Aisles of clothes weren't just aisles of clothes; they were offices for editors-in-chief at fashion houses in NYC! My aunt wasn't just my aunt; she was definitely a divine, radiating angel from a marble castle on another planet! Everything in front of my eyes passed through me and became something else: something painted in golden stars.

People around me saw this, and unto today, they still tell me about how they experienced me in their lives as children. But most people were there for the stars that rolled over me and gathered at my feet. I'm not sure who was there for actually me and not just for my magic. As a result, I bonded more closely with animals than with people. I was sure that animals were there for actually me.

For the longest time, I think I despised most people for their penchant of taking. For taking the best, shiniest bits and pieces of my spirit. And I felt that I had many gifts, coupled with the burning desire to share them with others. But people don't stop to say, "thank you", you know? They don't. And they don't stay.

But it was a magical childhood, it really was. I wrote plays and acted in them. I climbed up on rooftops and picked fruit from the tops of churches! I fell through rotten rooves and napped on branches. I carried stars inside of me and then I let them shoot out!

Oh, most of the people around me were selfish bimbos. But in the long run it didn't matter because I breathed the air of my own spirit, I didn't breathe the same air as them. I thought that I ached because I wanted love in exchange for magic; but now I know, that I ached because I didn't know I had all the tools for me to love my own self! I wanted to give my gifts, be a gift for others, when I didn't know that my real mission was being the gift to myself.

As a child, every minute was pure magic. I saw all things bathed in a golden wash of stars. Curtains weren't curtains; they were sails on ships! Aisles of clothes weren't just aisles of clothes; they were offices for editors-in-chief at fashion houses in NYC! My aunt wasn't just my aunt; she was definitely a divine, radiating angel from a marble castle on another planet! Everything in front of my eyes passed through me and became something else: something painted in golden stars.

People around me saw this, and unto today, they still tell me about how they experienced me in their lives as children. But most people were there for the stars that rolled over me and gathered at my feet. I'm not sure who was there for actually me and not just for my magic. As a result, I bonded more closely with animals than with people. I was sure that animals were there for actually me.

For the longest time, I think I despised most people for their penchant of taking. For taking the best, shiniest bits and pieces of my spirit. And I felt that I had many gifts, coupled with the burning desire to share them with others. But people don't stop to say, "thank you", you know? They don't. And they don't stay.

But it was a magical childhood, it really was. I wrote plays and acted in them. I climbed up on rooftops and picked fruit from the tops of churches! I fell through rotten rooves and napped on branches. I carried stars inside of me and then I let them shoot out!

Oh, most of the people around me were selfish bimbos. But in the long run it didn't matter because I breathed the air of my own spirit, I didn't breathe the same air as them. I thought that I ached because I wanted love in exchange for magic; but now I know, that I ached because I didn't know I had all the tools for me to love my own self! I wanted to give my gifts, be a gift for others, when I didn't know that my real mission was being the gift to myself.

What is religion? Is it the belonging to a certain group of people? The allegiance to a particular God? Is it the dutiful care of sermons, holy books and parables? These are only vanities.

If my friend, who is of a different religion, invites me to their ceremonial gathering place; is it religious of me to decline their invitation? Or would it be religious of me to sit in that church with my friend, providing them with the closeness of my friendship and good company?

Is religion a division between people? Or is religion a friendship between those who are not alike? What is the great value of friendship between people who are alike? Of course you are to be friends when you are in fact alike. That is not rare. But the value of friendship with those who are unlike you is much greater! This is the rare gem.

Am I to refuse food offered to me from the table of somebody else's church, in order to appease my own god? Or is my religion found in the breaking of bread and the sharing of wine glass between us friends of good intentions?

To love my friends is my religion. To experience God through the eyes of many other people, is my religion. To treat their holy homes and sacred spaces as I would treat my own, is my religion. My religion is an embrace, a shared meal. This is my religion.