Boo Walker's Blog, page 4

Listen to Boo’s candid interview about his Red Mountain series, coming up with new stories, and his first bout with burnout.

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I’ve written before about Leila Meacham, who has been a huge inspiration to me over the years. Today, I want to pass along more of her wisdom.

Leila was a highschool English teacher most of her life before hitting the big time with her novel, Roses. Thanks to a serendipitous encounter, she has been coaching me for several years now. She’s the one who encouraged me to leave my thrillers behind and write Red Mountain. And she’s the only one allowed to absolutely tear me apart with criticism of my craft, and that’s a testament to her incredible talent and skill as a teacher. She’s somehow able to candidly point out my many weaknesses while also filling my cup with volcanic encouragement. I’ll occasionally send her a paragraph or two from my work in progress, and we’ll spend an hour on the phone breaking down every nuance. I liken these lessons to a young basketball player lucky enough to get court time with Michael Jordan.

In addition to her mastery of language and her prowess as a teacher, she’s an all-around superb human, who never stops giving. I aspire to live such a life. She’s currently battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer, but as you’ll read below in her recent Facebook post and her advice to me, she’s winning–in more ways than one.

Today marked my return to the chemo chair after a week off and a visit with Dr. G. who instantly proclaimed when he saw me, “Chemo is going gangbusters on that tumor!” From the look in his eye, I believe he preferred to say that the new, more aggressive protocol was kicking my cancer’s butt, but either he felt I was too much a lady to hear such words or he was too much a gentleman to utter them, but the gist was plain and clear.

Well, for a moment there, I felt in the beam of a heavenly light. Who wouldn’t, having been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, even if the patient did not know from whence the source came?

But we know, you and I, and I am home now with my knight in shining armor basking in the hope and utter faith that with your continued prayers, good wishes, and loving thoughts, I am on my way to full recovery. And when this journey is over, I hope I will be like the man in Nina Castain’s poem who lost an arm fighting for his country. Not his sacrifice, but his determination to “set himself to do everything with twice as much enthusiasm.” Nina concludes by writing, “And where the arm had been torn away, a wing grew,” and so I wish it true of me and of all of us who have prevailed against the odds.

Okay, I could stop right there, and we all walk away stronger than we were before her words. But I want to add a story about how she pulled me out of the mire. Despite the war she’s fighting, she’s given up her precious time in the past few weeks to coach me.

I’ve written three books in the last fourteen months, and it just about killed me. Despite it all, though, my muse fed me in such lovely ways, and I am super proud of each of them. I couldn’t have done any better.

But the day I sent Red Mountain Burning  to my editor, I broke down. A crippling exhaustion suddenly pummeled me to the ground. It didn’t help that my dog was diagnosed with kidney disease during the last writing sprint, a fact I didn’t allow myself to truly process until I’d finished. I spent the majority of December mindlessly stumbling through life. Thankfully I’ve come out of my trance, and I owe much of my awakening to… you guessed it… Leila Meacham.

Though my own struggle pales in comparison to hers, Leila has been there for me. A few days ago, I sat down to begin my new novel for Lake Union, which is due in August. For the first time that I can remember, in both writing songs and novels, I came up blank. My right brain was completely shut down, and I was overthinking everything. It’s a very scary feeling to be a writer who suddenly has no stories or words. That’s where Leila came in.

I’d written her about the seeds of my new story and mentioned that I was struggling to come up with the details. I was inundated with left-brained questions like which gender to start with, what kind of story would be best for the market, how to balance the internal and external struggles/goals/arcs, and on and on.

Leila wrote me a note back that ended with:

I once read a wonderful line: “Happiness is like a butterfly. Chase it and it runs away. Sit quietly, and it will light upon your shoulder.” So it is I believe with the creative muse.

I closed my computer and wept like a child.

My analytical considerations were necessary but come second to the gift of a story and the words a writer receives when connecting to the source. We all have different ways of defining and naming “the source,” but I suspect you know what I’m talking about.

I’m writing this to you from a place of happiness and excitement, as I see the light on the other side. I’m breaking free of my chains. I’m focusing on the things that matter. I’m sitting quietly. I realized that I’d abandoned my daily meditation practice, and I’m thankful to my agent for introducing me to the 10% Happier app, which has set me back on track. I’m walking and breathing in the wonder of the world. I’m reconnecting with my wife and son. I’m remembering the importance of giving. I’m practicing gratitude. I’m exercising. I’m eating and drinking mindfully. I’m playing tons of electric guitar with the volume knob dimed (sorry, honey). I’m reading like crazy, bathing in the bliss of words! And lastly, I’m writing again, starting with this note to you. My words are starting to bubble up, and, oh boy, do I feel a story coming.

I hope Leila’s teachings help in your journey. I feel even better after sharing.

May we all grow wings,

boo

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Listen to Dr. Marji Morgan interview Boo on her WA State radio show, Lines on Vines, here.

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*SPOILER ALERT* – Please only read if you have read my novel Red Mountain.

Below are my thoughts on the controversial ending.

You might recall the cliffhanger ending in Red Mountain, the one many have given me a hard time about. What you may not know is that I had no intentions of writing a sequel. Against my wife’s advice, I stood by the ending, believing there was no other way to conclude my story. Looking back, it was my hardheaded artistic self that wouldn’t budge. I believed the theme of hope would carry through and give the readers a chance to tie things up themselves. For the record, I didn’t necessarily write the sequel to answer the cliffhanger, but more because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the characters. (As I start to think about the next and final book in the series, I’m still not ready to say goodbye!)

Nevertheless, it has saddened me to read reviews from folks who adored the story but became irate over the ending. Or they felt cheated. Not everyone will love a book but clearly, my artistic choice might have been a poor one. I’ve spent a long time wondering how I might have added a bit more to the story. Yesterday, I wrote one last paragraph to end the book, and I’ve added it to all future copies. It’s not the biggest deal in the grand scheme of things, but I thought you might enjoy the process. Let me know your thoughts on both endings and on my change of heart. Though this addition still doesn’t answer all the questions, perhaps it will be enough of an encouraging glimpse to satisfy future readers. The lesson I have learned is that I’m not only writing for me and my hardheaded artistic self. Much more importantly, I’m writing for you, and I don’t want you to ever think I’ve cheated you or stolen your time. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU HAVE YET TO READ RED MOUNTAIN.

In the end of the book, the group is standing around Joan in the
hospital, all holding hands. Otis howls, calling out to his mate.
Ahhh-woooo. The howl is where I previously left the story. I’ve now
added:

As the echo of Otis’s howl subsided, a surge of energy ran
through his hand, and Joan softly squeezed his palm. Otis gasped and
looked down. Though her eyes were still closed, he knew she was on her
way back to him.

I welcome your thoughts and opinions.

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What is it about the post-baby-boomer generations who struggle so with having to work for a living, especially having to work a job one doesn’t want to do?

I suppose it has to do with the conflicting modern messages about chasing your dreams. Raised by parents who endured the depression, baby boomers were more often told they were lucky to have a job, any job. Perhaps younger generations have softened.

A while back I posted a meme on Facebook that urged you to do what you love for a living. And if you’re not doing what you love, you are wasting life.

That’s a scary thought, isn’t it?

A friend challenged me and said that there are exceptions, that not everyone can do what they love. After initially feeling sad about this pessimistic notion, especially as one raised to always chase your dreams, more pondering has led me to an expanded view.

No, not everyone should chase their passion. In fact, chasing your passion can be a dangerous game. I’m reading a highly recommended book right now called So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport. I think any of you caught in a predicament similar to my friend should read this book. Actually, I recommend it to all of you. Exploring the idea that chasing your passions isn’t always the best answer, the author uses very fine examples like the great surfboard shaper Al Merrick,  comedian Steve Martin, and then lesser-known individuals with more common jobs like administrative cubicle work, masonry, etc. Cal is a brilliant guy, and I’m sure I’ll read his next two books, which look equally thought-provoking.

Anyway… are there exceptions? Are we wasting life unless we’re doing what we love? I still say yes, but not exactly in the way that you might think. I suppose I could bring my own life experience in as an example and jumping off point.

Falling in love with the banjo, I majored in music in college and then moved to Nashville with a band. I was doing what I loved. Until I wasn’t. The stresses of making my passion an occupation pushed me up against a wall. Not only did the pressure start to drain the joy of playing, but I was also shown the guts of the music business. Let me tell you, what I saw wasn’t pretty.

After suffering from a career-ending hand disorder, being sued by Dwight Yoakam, and being deceived by a well-known producer, I left the music business with my tail between my legs. Let’s just say 2002 was my dark night of the soul. Though I had some wonderful experiences with bandmates who are still my brothers today, I often wish I’d kept my passion as a passion, something I could do for fun. And that’s in fact what music is for me now. I don’t tie my identity to it, I don’t try to make money with it. I just pick up an instrument in my room and pluck away with a bright smile on my face.

There’s a difference between doing what you love, chasing your passion, and loving what you do. Not all of us should chase what we love. For example, if you’re into skiing or surfing, hunting or fishing, writing, reading, playing golf or another sport, or painting, your love of this thing doesn’t mean you should pursue it as an occupation.

That being said, you should probably choose a career that interests you, but think twice before mixing business and pleasure. Just because you’re not a painter or a famous actor or well-known bass fisherman doesn’t mean you’re failing. Doing what you love might mean learning to love what you do.

Learn to love what you do. How do you do that? By putting everything you have into it. Go to the woodshed, hone your skills. Be the best you can be.

There are, of course, situations where you need to leave your job. If you’re surrounded by toxic people, if your health is declining due to your career hazards (coal mining, for example), then maybe you need to quit.

But let’s look at someone who is in a career that’s not necessarily glamorous. Maybe you’re a VP of administrative blah blah blah reporting to a ladder of other VPs selling the worst product you could ever imagine. But your situation at home doesn’t allow you to quit. Perhaps you’re trapped in a town you don’t love because you are divorced, and the kids are still there. You’re in debt anyway, so you can’t afford to move. On top of that, there are no other jobs to be had in this town. That’s a pretty tough situation to be in.

In my humble opinion, you either walk away, or you decide to give this job everything you have. Become the absolute best at what you do. Start digging in. Learn to love what you do and become infectious with your joy. Just because you’re not doing what you dreamed of as a child doesn’t mean you’re failing. The only reason you’re failing is if you’re half-assing.

Eckhart Tolle says you have two choices in these situations. Accept the now or walk away. To add to that, especially with regards to the VP above, if you can’t walk away but know that it must be done, then make an escape plan. Don’t let your miserable little ego hold you back. Either learn to love what you do by getting really good at it, while also putting a smile on your face, or get the heck out of there.

Have you ever come across someone who is doing what they’re meant to do, their calling? It’s a beautiful sight to see, even if the position is not glamorous. I came across a sandwich shop in Dallas a few years ago that I revisit when I’m in town. When I walked in, the owner welcomed me from behind the counter. He told he makes the best sandwiches in Texas. I looked around and every diner in the establishment was nodding, while devouring his creations. After I placed my order, he put together a wonderful sandwich, all the while wearing a big, radiating, infectious grin. I actually walked out with this crazy thought that I wanted to own a sandwich shop and live a simple life that I was proud of.

That wasn’t the point, though. I wasn’t supposed to open a sandwich shop. The lesson I needed to learn was that I should love what I do, no matter what that is, be it a garbage man, a contractor, a mason, a banjoist. Not only was the sandwich guru happy, but he was touching everyone’s soul, one bite at a time. I didn’t ask, but I don’t think he grew up dreaming of owning a sandwich shop and making the best sandwiches in Texas. I suspect he opened a sandwich shop, spent years mastering his art, and somewhere along the way, found a love and great pride in what he does.

Not all of us will be the President of the United States or an astronaut, however, all of us should love what we do. If you’re able to make a living with your passion and it’s working out, great. For most of us, we need to work a job that isn’t exactly what we dream about at night or wake up dying to do on Saturday morning.

How do you learn to love what you do? By becoming the absolute best you can be and doing it with a smile.

One more thing, your occupation certainly doesn’t define you. You can be just as important as Yo Yo Ma by being a great mom or dad, husband or wife, or friend.

Whatever it is you do, do it well. There’s nothing like the black hole that was recently discovered to remind us how precious, short, and fragile life is.

Don’t do you what you love, love what you do.

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I want to share a quick story, and it has to do with my own life, but I tell it in hopes that my words might give you the faith required to enrich your own life. It has to do with the law of attraction.

My wife and I were walking along the beach the other morning and came across the word Gratitude written in large letters in the sand. I’ve been reflecting a lot on gratitude lately, and I think it’s such a healthy practice to take a moment every day and recognize what you’re thankful for. I keep a morning journal for this purpose. Upon seeing the word, we stopped and took a moment to be grateful.

My wife suggested that I write my own word in the sand. She said something like, “Write what you most want at this moment and let the waves wash over it and take it into the sea.”

I wrote Hollywood in the sand, and I didn’t just speedily scratch it out. I dug my toes in and carved out each letter with belief. For more than a decade, selling one of my books to Hollywood has been my creative dream.

So I didn’t just write the word, I pictured myself escorting my stunning wife into the premiere of Red Mountain in a theater in Hollywood. I could even feel the pride of all our hard work as we held hands and found our seats, waiting for the opening credits.

The next afternoon, I received an email from a producer in LA interested in optioning the rights to Red Mountain. I’m not joking!

Coincidence? I think not. When I’m healthy and happy and receptive (don’t we all have our bad days… oh, boy, do I!), I witness these little miracles all the time. I bet you do too.

Our universe is full of energy. Should we tune ourselves to the correct frequency, we can connect to this higher design with ease. All it takes is a bit of faith and discipline.

Byron Katie said life happens for you, not to you. I believe that with all my heart. And you must believe if you want it to be true.

The stories you tell yourself, your word choice and your perception create your life. If you think the world is out to get you, it most certainly will. If you think the people around you are trying to take advantage of you, they will. But if you think the world is your playground, it will be. Why not let the red carpet roll out in front of you all the way to the grave?

I believe—when I’m not suffering from the self-doubt, fear, or sadness—that the universe is always listening, and if you do tune yourself to an open-minded, receptive frequency, you can connect in a giant way, and your entire world will be elevated. Once you’re connected, you have the ability to design your life with thoughts and feelings.

If that all sounds like mumbo jumbo, if Boo is sounding a little too New-Agey for you, I’m sorry you feel that way. You don’t have to subscribe to a religion to believe this stuff. All you have to do is agree that we’re all connected by energy—this beautiful electricity. Quantum physicists study this exact phenomenon. In You Are the Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza, there’s an essential chapter (Chapter 8, The Quantum Mind) exploring the science behind the law of attraction.

Let’s dive deeper into this manifestation. Details are important. What will happen with this Hollywood connection? Will something come of it? I don’t know.

Hold on, wait. Scratch that. Forget what I just said about not knowing. I can’t be so unsure. Not if I want to manifest an outcome.

Let me start over. What will happen with this connection? Here is my detailed vision. A screenwriter will adapt Red Mountain to a screenplay with splendid artistry, and Sony will jump all over the film rights. The movie will be greenlit quickly, and an Oscar-worthy film will be made with A-list actors.

Actually, I don’t want it to be a movie. I want it to be a series.

HBO.

I’m going to take this one step further and change my verb tense. As you explore manifestation, visualization is an important component. You need to close your eyes and see it as if it’s already happened.

Here we go:

I sold the rights to Red Mountain, Red Mountain Rising, and A Marriage Well Done to HBO, who assembled the perfect cast and crew. The story of Red Mountain was brought to life beautifully with a world-class director. I ended up writing six more books in The Red Mountain Chronicles, and HBO followed the story perfectly for eight seasons, making a hit series that was better than I could have ever imagined.

If you don’t know what you want in life—and if you don’t put it out there—something or someone else is going to design your path for you.

Take a moment to write down what you want in the next year. In five years. Ten. Twenty.

I promise you it’s worth your time. Once you know what you want, start to feel it. Taste it. Live it. Close your eyes and see it. And be grateful for the thing as if it has already happened.

If HBO makes this series… no, I will choose a better word.

When HBO makes this series, any thoughts on casting? Please comment below. A winemaker on Red Mountain mentioned that Cameron Diaz would be perfect for Carmen. I happen to agree. How about Otis? Jake? Margot? If I could take Meryl Streep back in time, I think she’d be the perfect Margot!

Anyway, go ahead. Put your dreams out there. I think you’re ready.

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As I abandon my physical library for a more minimalist approach to life, I’ve missed seeing my favorite books on the shelf. Seeing the spines of those works that have touched my heart, thumbing through to my favorite passages, and revisiting the characters that became my friends and enemies was a delightful pleasure.

To that end, this regularly-updated post will serve as my desert-island library, the books I don’t want to forget. I hope, while serving my own purposes, the following will also provide you with worthy recommendations. I’ve separated the lists into four categories: fiction, non-fiction, self-development, and writing. For the benefit of anyone landing on this page, please comment below with books you love.

Fiction:

The History of Love by Nicole Krauss

Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walters

Beach Music by Pat Conroy

Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy

A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway

Beartown by Fredrik Backman

We’re All Damaged by Matthew Norman

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

Marathon Man by William Goldman

A Million Little Pieces by James Frey

Bright, Shiny Morning by James Frey

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Mystic River by Dennis Lehane

Live by Night by Dennis Lehane

Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts

Plum Island by Nelson Demille

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

Iron House by John Hart

I’d be remiss not to mention the authors whose books I consumed in my early reading life as one might tear through Doritos: John D. Mcdonald, Nelson Demille, John Grisham, Stuart Woods, and Daniel Silva.

Self-Development

The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle

A New Earth by Eckart Tolle

The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav

Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, MD

You Are the Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Stop Thinking, Start Living  by Richard Carlson

The Music Lesson by Victor Wooten

Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

The Way of the Wizard by Deepak Chopra

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Non-Fiction:

Warrior Soul: The Memoir of a Navy SEAL by Chuck Pfarrer

Radical Evolution: The Promise and Peril of Enhancing Our Minds, Our Bodies-and What It Means to Be Human by Joel Garreau

Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer

Open by Andre Agasse

The Accidental Connoisseur: An Irreverant Journey Through the Wine World by Lawrence Osborne

Adventures on the Wine Route: A Wine Buyer’s Tour of France by Kermit Lynch

Writing:

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott

On Becoming a Novelist by John Gardner

Writing Tools: 55 Essential Strategies for Every Writer by Roy Peter Clark

On Writing by Stephen King

Story: Style, Structure, Substance, and the Principles of Screenwriting by Robert Mckee

2k to 10k: Writing Faster, Writing Better, and Writing More of What You Love by Rachel Aaron

Please comment below with your favorites. I’ll try to read them all.

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Cheers from 35,003 feet up in the Delta sky. I’m headed home from Las Vegas and had the great fortune of running into one of my heroes at the hotel. I hopped off the treadmill yesterday and nearly walked right into Brian May, the lead guitarist of Queen. Imagine one of the biggest rock stars in the world in a black t-shirt, flowery shorts, the whitest legs of all time, and white sneakers, pedaling away on an exercise bike.

I’ve always known he was a brilliant guy, astrophysicist and of course, master guitarist, but what surprised me was his presence. When I saw him by the pool later, he was sitting motionless with his legs in the water, the sun on his face, eyes closed, absolutely absorbed in the moment. He opened his eyes as I was walking by him, and he offered the kindest smile and wave. You know how you occasionally meet someone who automatically centers you with their own calm, confidence, and energy? Then some of that rubs off on you, this lovely feeling that everything is going to be all right. I’m still high from the encounter. And I tell you what, I needed it.

When I’m wrapping up a novel, I lose it a little bit. I don’t know if it’s the fear of putting something new out there or perhaps the exhaustion anyone feels toward the end of a long project. But I find myself needing to dig much deeper in order to tap into my true self and connect with that greater source out there.

So I’ve been downing some really good books I want to tell you about. As you’ll hear me say often, The Power of Now changed my world years ago. I had no idea that my thinking mind wasn’t really me. That the real me could separate and watch my thinking mind rush around like a wild man. The moment I finished, I read it again. And then I’ve spent the time since trying not to fall back into that left-brain-controlled, walking dead trance.

My wife said something the other day that really cracked me up… and made sense. She’s about forty-million light years/miles closer to enlightenment than me, so when she speaks her wisdom, I listen. We were talking about mindfulness, and I was telling her how it can be a curse sometimes. Watching your thoughts and chasing presence can be painful and exhausting. That whole “ignorance is bliss” thing is so true. It’s so easy to get lost in your thought world and fall into a trance that burns entire days. But then you’re a zombie missing out on life! She called me agro-mindful, meaning mindful in an aggressive way. Which is quite true. Sometimes I get so furious at my left brain for sprinting like it does.

And then I started Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of the Buddha by Tara Brach. She reminded me that you can’t judge your thoughts. Once you separate and start watching, you can’t get angry at yourself for those thoughts. That’s just what we humans do, we think. A lot. You’ll like this book for so many reasons, but this nice reminder is what I valued most. Perhaps the first step in awakening is to separate ourselves from our thoughts/ego. And then the second is to be okay with those thoughts, to calmly watch them sans judgement. And if we don’t throw attention at the monkey mind, the quiet comes. FINALLY. And we can get a little closer to Brian May’s apparent blissful state. I guarantee you when he is playing in front of 70k screaming fans, he’s not pinned down by the critic inside yapping away.

This lesson reminded me of something Jack Kornfield says. He likens the wandering mind to a wandering puppy you’re training to stay. You don’t strike the puppy every time he disobeys. You bring him back lovingly and say sweet things, reminding him to stay. Over and over again until he gets it.

I also just finished Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by Sam Harris. I listened to the Audible version, which he narrates himself. And he sounds just like Kevin Costner. It’s really good! Some of you might be turned off by the title but I hope not. My favorite takeaway is a chapter he devotes to defining the self. How do you define “I?” Is it everything from head to toe? What if we lose a limb? We’re still us. So am “I” the stuff right behind my eyes? What about the energy that seems to occupy the rest of the body? Anyway, he does a much better job of exploring the notion than I do. I love it when someone pushes you to question things.

I’ll leave you with a Rumi quote Tara shared in her book:

“Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you.”

Take care,

boo

P.S. Hold on, wait. I can’t end with Rumi. Because weeeeeeeeeeee are the champions, my friends.

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