Lacey Sturm's Blog, page 2

I have a sacred place in my heart that only two people can see: My husband and my Lord. I am setting those things apart for true love’s sake. But the outskirts of this sacred place, the open fields of many revelations, has been set on a public stage and put in front of thousands of wide eyed searchers of truth… a hungry generation that never feels satisfied… Dear one reading this, Please know that you are worth more than you could ever understand. Your purpose is so profound that the whole world will begin a fresh type of healing as you accomplish it. The truth is your sleeping breath moves the air for all eternity and there is nothing untouched by your existence. Imagine the impact of your words… your actions. You are already changing the world.  Please. I beg you. Realize this: You are already changing the world.

I have been changing the world for 30 years now. It was dangerous for my mother to have a second child.  She was only 16 and my older brother was only 10 months old. Her petite frame had been through so much already and it was against the advice of the doctors to let me live. Thank you mom for not listening to them. Thank you God for the miracle of saving both our lives.

I’m looking at a puddle of tears on the desk in front of my keyboard. I think there is something of heaven in this puddle. My husband just told me that a couple hours ago a boy fell into the african painted dogs exhibit at the zoo and was mauled to death. Immediately I thought of the one time I remember sitting my son Jack up on the ledge of that exhibit so he could see down into the pit of dogs, since he couldn’t see unless he was up there and I wasn’t tall enough hold him him above it without letting him rest on the ledge. Immediately it went through my head in that moment, that if jack began to squirm he could jump right out of my grip and would fall right into that pit of dogs. I pulled him down and thought, I guess he won’t really be able to see this exhibit because it is too dangerous. When my husband came in and told me about this boys death I covered my ears for some reason as if it would remove the truth of it out of my perception, out of reality. And yet it sunk down from my ears into my heart and immediately I began to sob, and loudly cry bitterly over this tragedy. I’ve heard stories like this before and felt absolutely nothing, feeling only shock and concern over my own lack of feeling.. so disconnected from the world around me… and maybe it is the fact that I am now a mother, or maybe it is that I know the exact spot where it happened very well, in a place that I have visited more times than I can count…  maybe it is because of healing that God has done in my heart recently to help me to feel emotional things that I became numb to over the past 10 years… or maybe the God of the universe lives in my heart, and I felt a faint tinge of his grief, his compassion, as a Heavenly Father who had a Son die a gruesome painful death too… Whatever it was, I cried like it was Jack that had fallen. Finally I was able to speak over my emotions through sobs and pray for His glory, “Receive this boy into your Kingdom, Jesus. Comfort these parents and let them know that you are with them and that you are close and real and powerful and loving and compassionate, and that they can grieve in your arms, and know that you understand. Don’t let the enemy steal anything more from this family. Remind us that we aren’t garanteed tomorrow and each day of our lives is a gift. Teach everyone affected by this to make the most of every opportunity that they have with their loved ones, as if that time really were a gift, and to love deeply and love well, to not take each other for granted and enjoy life for the fullness of the gift that it is.”