Sally Ember's Blog, page 118
April 29, 2014
5 Things Wrong with #Sex Scenes in #Romance Novels and How to Improve Them
5 Things Wrong with #Sex Scenes in #Romance Novels and How to Improve Them
1. Men, even the first time having sex with a long-awaited or extremely attractive partner, can last more than fifteen seconds (three thrusts) before orgasm, even when impassioned, unless they are under age 20 or suffer from PME (Pre-Mature Ejaculation), in which case, that man is not a good candidate for being the romantic lead.
Dear Jayne Ann Krentz/Castle/Amanda Quick or any of the 4 other pseudonyms you use: I’m sorry the men/man you have sex with can’t last more than fifteen seconds after being undressed, touched, licked or inside a woman. The rest of us have had better lovers. I pity you.
image from healthystateofthinking.blogspot.com
2. Oral sex in the 2010′s is not shocking, novel, strange, shameful, disgusting or horrifying. Really. No recipient or provider should be having these reactions unless the participants are ages 15 and under, in which case, please do not depict them having sex. That is not “romantic”: that is sexual exploitation of minors.
Dear YA Authors: take note. Teens having sex (and oral sex DOES count, despite President Bill Clinton’s assertions to the contrary) with older lovers (having more than a five-year age difference when over 14; more than a two-year difference when under 14) are victims of statutory rape in most US states.
3. Having protagonists/female leads who are “virgins” or incredibly inexperienced with sex in the 2010s, yet who are stunningly beautiful, capable and independent who are older than twenty is absurd. This characterization of inexperience as what makes a woman desirable caters to archaic/paternalistic fantasies.
Dear Historical Fiction Romance Authors: You may be exempt from the atavistim, but you are nonetheless feeding into these fantasies. Please stop. It’s okay to depict these girls/women as appropriately inexperienced, but to make that lack of knowledge the center of their attractiveness means that after one encounter, they automatically become less attractive. Awful.
4. Thanks for including clitoral stimulation in heterosexual sex scenes. Thanks for depicting male romantic leads who not only know the clitoris exists, but can find it, know how to please a woman, and want to do this. It only took about 100 years of romance writing to get men to be this aware. Okay.
Dear Modern Romance Writers; Now that we’ve established that clitoral stimulation is important and necessary for females’ sexual satisfaction, not every sexual encounter has to depict women’s having both oral and digital stimulation to the point of orgasm, always having multiple orgasms and the woman having the first orgasms before the man’s, every time. Repetition and routine kill sex. When a reader becomes bored reading the sex scenes, you have failed.
image from http://www.buzzfeed.com
5. Bondage, rape, domination and other masochistic sexual relationships are NOT psychologically healthy sexual expressions even if consenting adults decide to act these out. Also, these “relationships” do not accurately depict what occurs in most women’s lives and your characterizations set women back about three centuries.
Dear Shades of Whatever Authors: We know your books sell well. We know they’re not especially well-thought-out or well-written, are easy to write and are quick to get published. Since you insist on writing and publishers insist on publishing these types of drivel as “romance,” could you at least occasionally depict a strong, intelligent, capable woman who refuses to engage sexually with such mentally ill men? PLEASE?
image from feministing.com
Three ways to write better sex scenes:
1. Have sex scenes in which a variety of activities occur with enthusiastic, willing participants of legal ages and with male participants who can last longer than fifteen seconds when erect.
2. Depict at least some of your female leads as strong, capable, experienced and independent prior to having sex as well as during and after meeting their romantic lead.
excelle.monster.com
3. Include some sexual encounters in which female’s multiple or simultaneous partners’ orgasmms do not occur and participants are happy with each other, anyway.
Thanks, Romance Authors who already write sex scenes like this. Many of you do.
Filed under: Life lessons, Opinions, Personal stories, Writing Tagged: romance, sex, Writers, writing
April 27, 2014
Unique mineral discovered In Australia
Australia has all the cool, unique stuff! More, now!
Originally posted on This and That:
Vibrant colour! Article link below the video.
To read the article go to
http://www.sott.net/article/278053-Unique-mineral-discovered-In-Australia
Also there is more information in ‘Show more’ under the YT video.
Filed under: Writing
Support An Author Month ~ #saam14
Support an author month = May? Fantastic! There is a “DONATE” button on my website (and many others’, sometimes called “Tip Jars”), so please feel free to express your support with cash! Comments, Follows, LIKES and purchases of /downloads of and reviews, ratings, rankings, votes on lists for our books also very welcomed! Thanks to ALL #authors and #readers!
Originally posted on "CommuniCATE" Resources for Writers:
Support an Author Month 2014 starts May 1st. This is the month to link arms with fellow authors and promote, recognise and support each other. Global economy induced sales slumps like these, provide us with time we can use to boost each other’s spirits, build our skills and write for when the markets come back up. Make new friends, help a pal out of a rut, do a good deed. It will bounce back to you.
CommuniCATE Resources for Writers has posts planned which cover:
- Self-esteem issues authors face and how we can overcome them.
- A quick reference to marketing terms used online that we all need to utilise.
- Tips on how you can support author friends in a quick, easy and practical manner.
- Surviving stress through social networking.
- Combatting creative depression.
- Links to other resources such as social media groups online, promotional opportunities…
View original 58 more words
Filed under: Writing
Part 2, Grants for Writers
More opps for writers, with MONEY or free stays for writing time. Thanks, Savvy Writers!
Originally posted on Savvy Writers & e-Books online:
.
Would you like a free work-vacation stay, maybe in Paris, France or in Bellagio, Italy? Sometimes even paid… as a Writer-in-Residency? Book mark these tips and links and check periodically the deadlines for grants, fellowships or writers residencies. Besides accommodation, writers often receive a stipend and travel expenses paid. A great way for writers to get out of their routine, find time to write, solitude and possibilities to advance their career. See also Part 1 of Grants for Writers.
.
Rockefeller Foundation Bellagio, Italy, Residencies
Four-week residencies between March 10 and July 31, 2015. Open to composers, novelists, playwrights, poets, video/filmmakers and visual artists from around the globe, with the goal of bringing together people of diverse expertise and cultures in a thought-provoking creative environment. Spouses/life partners may accompany the resident, or may apply for a concurrent residency. The Center also offers collaborative residencies for two to four persons…
View original 1,019 more words
Filed under: Writing
April 26, 2014
The 10 Social Media Commandments for Authors
http://annerallen.blogspot.gr/2014/04/the-10-commandments-of-social-media.html is the original posting. Support Anne. She blogs great info! Especially read: “How Not to Spam”: http://annerallen.blogspot.com/2013/10/social-media-secrets-for-authors-part.html
Originally posted on Nicholas C. Rossis:
Photo found on telegraph.co.uk
Anne R. Allen published a great list with The 10 Commandments of Social Media Etiquette for Writers on her blog. Here’s a brief summary: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it.
Not enough? Alright then, here are ten tips for online behavior for people planning a writing career:
1) Thou shalt not spam.
What is spam? Here’s the short version: if you’d ignore it in your own inbox, FB page, or Twitter stream, it’s probably spam.
2) Thou shalt support other authors.
Your fellow authors are not “rivals”. The number one thing a beginner should be doing on social media is getting to know other authors in your genre and subgenre and making friends.
One of the hottest sales tools in the business right now is the multi-author bargain boxed set with several titles by different authors. These boxed sets are getting on to…
View original 740 more words
Filed under: Writing
April 25, 2014
#Opportunities in May and June for #Writers from #Aerogramme
In case you missed this posting, check out these #publication opportunities, #grants, #conferences and #festivals, #competitions and #prizes/#awards and more for #writers. Occurring/deadlines are in May, June, ongoing/rolling and beyond.
Compiled by Aerogramme Writers’ Studio. Thanks!
My favorite: Electric Literature’s Recommended Reading
publishes one story a week and reopens for submissions on 1 May. Previously unpublished fiction ranging in length from 2,000 to 10,000 words will be considered and each contributor is paid US$300.
https://electricliterature.submittable.com/submit
Filed under: Blogging and others' content, Writing Tagged: conferences, contests, grants, prizes, Writers
Have the Homeless Become Invisible?
This is chilling. We have generated an impossible economy to sustain. The people without jobs and homes are just the “canaries in the mines” whose “asphyxiations” we ignore at all of our perils.
Originally posted on Kindness Blog:
In this social experiment, unsuspecting people walked by relatives pretending to be homeless. Would they notice their family members? Or have the homeless become invisible? Watch how each person reacts after the big reveal in the video below.
Filed under: Writing
April 24, 2014
Ancient Tribes Come Together at Amitabha Stupa | Tibetan Buddhist Altar
An amazing community “reunion.”
Originally posted on The Only Buddhist in Town:
This is such a beautiful article on the meeting of Tibetans and Hopi. May the Hopi children return to the Beauty Way soon.
Ancient Tribes Come Together at Amitabha Stupa | Tibetan Buddhist Altar.
Filed under: Writing
Upcoming Grants for Writers
Want cash while you’re writing? Check out these opps!
Originally posted on Savvy Writers & e-Books online:
.
.
Are you living in the USA, Canada or United Kingdom? The following grants, fellowships or writers residencies are mostly offered on a yearly basis, sometimes even twice a year. Bookmark their links and check periodically their deadlines. Besides accommodation, writers often receive a stipend and travel expenses paid. A great way for writers to get out of their routine, find solitude and time to write in order to advance their career.
.
Iowa Artist Fellowship
The Artist Fellowship provides support to individuals who demonstrate exceptional creativity in the arts and the capacity for continued contributions to the excellence and innovation of the arts in the State. The Artist Fellowship Program seeks to elevate the arts in Iowa by advancing the artistic careers of Iowa artists through funding and professional development. The Iowa Arts Council awards each fellow $5,000 to support the development of their artistic career.
Deadline May 1…
View original 1,061 more words
Filed under: Writing
April 23, 2014
Why Physicists Are Saying Consciousness Is A State Of Matter, Like a Solid, A Liquid Or A Gas — The Physics arXiv Blog — Medium
What do we do with this latest from our physicists: mind /consciousness as a fourth state of matter?
Originally posted on The Only Buddhist in Town:
Why Physicists Are Saying Consciousness Is A State Of Matter, Like a Solid, A Liquid Or A Gas — The Physics arXiv Blog — Medium
. Another article that suggests consciousness can be mathematically deduced. This is a fascinating topic.
Filed under: Writing
