Cathy Burnham Martin's Blog, page 126

Sometimes Life is gleeful. 
Other times?  Not so much.  However, I believe there is nothing wrong
with feeling, even through the difficult times. 
Someone lovingly pointed out to me recently that our blessings can even
overwhelm grief.  That is not to say that
sadness can be obliterated, but it surely can be overshadowed.

Life is rather like a rollercoaster, filled with highs and
lows, from times that move slowly to those that zoom and scream along,
seemingly out of control.  And it is a
very short ride, although most of us have a tendency at times to live as if we
have countless years.

Whatever “it” is for us, we fare better when we stop putting
it off as if we have all the time in the world. 
We don’t.

As I espouse in “The Bimbo Has MORE Brains… Surviving Political Correctness,” we can enjoy the feeling of living far more when we learn to live without regret.  Too often things are said or left unsaid.  We may have expressed harsh bitterness or relentless intolerance.  We may have treated someone harshly.  We may have been unfair.

Our quiet regrets pile up in some corner of our mind.  We never come clean.  We never sincerely apologize.  My Dad always set a great example in this
area.  Poppy always shared and said it
all.  Thus, when he passed, no one needed
to feel the ache of words left unsaid. 
Harsh words were never the last ones spoken.  Loving words were never left unsaid.  Forgiveness seemed an almost automatic
outpouring of love. 

This is so important, because all too often, we don’t get
another chance.  The person or people we
may have hurt are gone.  We do not have
as much time as we may have thought.

That said, I do not believe the souls of the departed hold
any ill will.  Only we living beasts
harbor regrets and ill will.

I couldn’t help but wonder what I might wish to say to
people left behind if I was suddenly gone tomorrow.  I’d thought about that a lot… Perhaps because
we’d suffered some difficult personal losses. 
For that same second “Bimbo” book I wrote and shared my thoughts and
words.  Literally, I include my list of
things that, as the departed soul, I would like to say to friends and loved
ones left behind.

Give it a try.  I
found it fascinating to see how easily we forgive those who’ve hurt us or
caused pain and hardship for people we love. 
I loved feeling how happy it made me to recognize the hope and
encouragement I relished giving to others.

While Life brings us laughter and love, it also brings
heartbreak and tears.  Sad times make us
better able to flourish and appreciate happy times.  Feeling the whole spectrum makes us stronger
and more compassionate people.  Though I
often say that living on this place called Earth is not for sissies, it is also
an amazing ride.

Let your heart flow. 
Relish and cherish.  Believe and
forgive.  Learn and teach.  Fall down and get back up.  Through it all, feel yourself truly living.

What kind of man spends his entire life serving others?  Being kind and generous, true and
loving?  What kind of man is hardworking,
resourceful, and an ahead-of-his-time thinker? 
Steadfast and persistent?  With
the patience of Job?  What kind of man
assigns himself the “on-call” work duties for every Thanksgiving and Christmas
so his team can be with their families?  What
kind of man exudes tirelessness, delightful humor, and vivid imagination to
fill his children’s lives with glee and exceptional experiences, while
encouraging them to strive to be their very best?  What kind of man is loyal to his high school
sweetheart and best friend for more than 70 years?  And near the end merely wishes for more time
together?  What kind of man walks the
walk as a superbly encouraging and supportive father, uncle, and
grandfather?  Active in his church and
community and neighborhood?  Both a great
listener and a terrific teacher, leading by example?

It’s the kind of man we all dream about as a partner,
father, friend or relative.  He
listens.  He is humble and humorous.  He is kind. 
He is strong.  It’s the very
special kind of man I have been privileged to call Poppy. 

My Dad, Robert Burnham, survived two previous cancers, only
to be diagnosed this past winter with pancreatic cancer.  His successful surgery this spring, inspired
great hope, but infections have been challenging, and he has endured 2 returns
to the hospital.  This past week was the
toughest.  All seemed well as he enjoyed
dinner in the dining room on Tuesday, but Wednesday, he was back to the
hospital.  Pneumonia had settled in his
lungs.  By Friday night at 9pm, they
moved my Poppy into hospice.  He passed
peacefully in his sleep Saturday afternoon at 1:30.  There’s one more angel in heaven.

That’s the kind of man my dear Poppy was.  An angel on earth.  His spirit will always live with all of us
who knew him.  Prayers please for my Mom,
for at age 88, though healthy physically, she has now lost the love of her
life. 

God speed, my dearest Poppy. 

Robert Bishop
Burnham, November 2, 1931 – October 6, 2018

A lot of years passed as I developed the strength to both
determine and stand up for what I could and would put up with in life.  What is acceptable or unacceptable?  The answers are different for each of
us.  Our tolerance levels also vary from
person to person.

Some things are simple. 
For example, I reached my threshold for people yelling at me.  I decided I didn’t need to take it anymore.  If someone is yelling at me now, it better be
to save my life from an oncoming truck… not because they lack the personal control
to talk at an acceptable volume level. 
Fair.

When we think, feel, speak, or believe differently from
someone else, I believe that is fine. 
However, we all know people who are not interested in tolerating
different perspectives or ideas.  That in
and of itself doesn’t make either side more right or wrong.

Where my interest disintegrates is when someone believes
they can and should shout down others just to squelch a dissenting thought,
voice, or opinion from being heard.  I
tune out the screamers and “ranters.” 
Their voracious volume levels and rabid rantings do not add validity to
their opinions, no matter how frequently they repeat them.

I get into this BIG time in “The Bimbo Has MORE Brains… Surviving Political Correctness.”  I do not believe in suppressing dissenting voices.  I believe in true dialogue, which includes speaking AND listening.  I am grateful for having grown up with parents and educators who believed in us learning all sides of issues.  They taught us how to think, not what to think.  I feel most fortunate for that, among many other blessings.

Saddening, if not maddening is the feeling when I learn of
free speech getting squelched purely because someone else values a different
philosophy or opinion.  Phooey.  As I state in the book, repressing or
shutting down voices we may not care to hear dos not remove the thoughts, feelings,
or opinions they wanted to share.

The 44th President of the United States, Barack
Obama, expressed it well.  He said, “The
strongest weapon against hateful speech is not repression.  It is more speech.”

I believe our differences give us balance.  Intolerance of our differences throws us off
balance.  To tolerate someone else’s intolerance
requires a great deal of patience, confidence, and persistence.  We sometimes need to stop and remember that
there just may be a lot of right in what seems wrong and a lot of wrong in what
seems right.

Cathy Burnham Martin is an award-winning journalist, published author, creative foodie, and communications geek.  Her books and Audiobooks are available through all major book retailers, Amazon, and Audible.  

Like all of us, I know we should use social media safely.  More importantly, I wish we would all use it
responsibly and not as a weapon to hurt others. 
Yet, we all know people, with increasing frequency, who have expressed
the need to unfriend or block someone who just can’t stop their negative rant.

When nastiness and volume levels go up, up, up, sanity
levels seem to go down, down, down. 
Social media seems more like anti-social media.  I don’t care how different our opinions
are.  I care about how we treat each
other, especially when we differ.

We can and should do better. 
We must if we are to survive as a civilized group.

In my book, “The Bimbo Has MORE Brains… Surviving Political Correctness,” I calmly note that there is no law against ignorance.  The best we can do is to keep educating people.  We need not waste one drop of anger on ignorance.

That said, my heart aches when I read painful expressions
from someone who has been railed against, especially on sites like Facebook.  “Nastigrams” from naysayers and buffoons are
bullying.  Cyber-bullying is hideously
ugly and cowardly.

I like to remind my readers and friends that when someone
else is being bitterly sour, we don’t have to drink from their cup.  We must try not to let someone else’s lemons
sour our hearts.

Little supportive quips can help remind us, too.  Devices and people work better when we turn
them on, not off.  Do not ever feel trivialized by someone else’s
opinions.

People who think that screaming louder makes their way of
thinking more valid and profound should think again.  They merely sound mean, belligerent, and
intolerant… at best.

Cathy Burnham Martin is an award-winning journalist, published author, creative foodie, and communications geek.  Her books and Audiobooks are available through all major book retailers, Amazon, and Audible.

“Bastions of Blood” (Kremlins 2) is the sequel to “Citadels of Fire.”  As the 2nd book in a 3-book series, I do suggest listening to “Citadels of Fire” (Kremlins 1) first.  This is a powerful (and rather graphically violent) historical romance novel by a learned Russian history major.

I am thoroughly enjoying producing and narrating these books and bringing the characters created by author L. K. Hill (writing her historical novels now under the name K.L. Conger) to life!  Check them out on Audible.com

Here’s a little sample:  

Want to thrive, not just survive, in this whacky world that demands political correctness?  (Or what I call political quackiness!)  My latest book slams the bullies and counter-bullies, examines political spectacles, reflects on the great American opioid epidemic of the 21st century, calls for Testosterone Toddlers to behave better, and much more.  I’m advocating for respect, attitude checks, and personal responsibility on many levels, along with empowering the independent spirit in all of us.

Recognizing friends and fiends on both sides of the political aisle, I am an equal opportunity offender… and mender.  Thus, The Bimbo Has MORE Brains delivers the secrets for us all to lighten up, to be more tolerant and less easily offended.

It’s out now in paperback and digital formats… at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and everywhere else.  Yahooo!  (On Audible and iTunes by April 1st.)

If you read it, please serve up a review online… via Amazon, Good Reads, Pinterest, or anywhere else.  Good or bad, love it or hate it… ink is ink and talk is talk.  I love it all.  Thanks!!

If you like island living… or vacationing… Antigua offers a beautiful and relaxing escape.  We just returned from a week of sun, fun, and superb dining, even a scrumptious grilled Caribbean lobster-stuffed lobster. 

This came as a big of a surprise.  Consider this.  2017’s destructive hurricane season wreaked havoc throughout the Caribbean and U.S. mainland.  We’d seen Southwest Florida looking far too much like a war zone after Irma left town.  Islands in the Caribbean are still working to put basic life back together.

The Antiguan Paradise group of islands is bouncing back, but it will take much more time.  For example, their island of Barbuda suffered 90% damage to its buildings and totally lost all infrastructure, like water and power.  After the September storm, Antigua had to completely evacuate Barbuda’s population, bringing everyone to Antigua.  These families are still nowhere near going home!

English Harbor from Shirley Heights

Regardless, Antigua is firing on all cylinders.  Famous ports like English Harbor and Falmouth Harbor, are full of action and mega-yachts.  Festivals and regattas are all a full forward “Go!”  Roads were horrid before the hurricane, so they’re more bizarre now, but don’t let it hold you back.  Select a resort and go relax in the sun.

How beautiful is that??!!?

We can enjoy a vacation in paradise.  In the process, help so many hard-working people and their entire economy at the same time.

Verandah Resort & Spa

Go for it and enjoy… with love and laughter.

My latest cookbook has just been released in paperback and digital formats.  “Lobacious Lobster” is packed with 200 decadently delicious and super simple recipes, plus more than 100 color photographs.

I literally could not help but create a new word to aptly describe lobster.  “Lobacious” says it all!

Enjoy this recipe from the collection!

Bodacious Bacon Lobster Bites

Bodacious Bacon Lobster Bites

12 (1-1 ½”) squares of cooked bacon

12 buttery crackers (such as Ritz or Pepperidge Farm)

12 slices (½“-thick medallions) fresh, warm lobster tail meat

¼ c favorite bottled “con queso” sauce, heated (or make your own by blending cream cheese, Jack cheese, & diced jalapeños)

At serving time, place a piece of bacon on each cracker; top with a piece of lobster, followed by a drizzle of warmed con queso.  Serve immediately.  Makes 12 bites.

Lobacious Lobster is available through Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and more.

Cranberry Bellini

‘Tis the season to add the tartness of cranberries to the menu.  While I offer the Cranberry Cooking cookbook full of super simple recipes, I share here a yummy way to start a day with the zing of cranberries.

For a holiday brunch, a Mimosa is popular, but the Bellini is even yummier, featuring peach puree and prosecco sparkling Italian wine, plus a touch of raspberry, which is actually a formerly “secret ingredient.”

We’re bringing it forward now for the holidays as a Cranberry Bellini.  Be sure to start with well-chilled ingredients.

Cranberry Bellini

½ c cranberry juice

1 c peach nectar

1 bottle prosecco (or other sparkling white wine)

Combine cranberry and peach; keep chilled till needed.  Pour into tall flutes or martini glasses till just ¼ full.  Top with prosecco; garnish as desired.  Serve immediately.  Makes 6-8 servings.

KISS Notes:  I sometimes like to rim the glass with cinnamon sugar.  Garnish

Cranberry Pearrini

with a wedge of lime, a slice of fresh peach, or “shrub”-style with a couple tiny scoops of raspberry (and peach) sorbet or sherbet.  A nice variation for this drink is the Cranberry Pearrini.  Make as above but replace the peach nectar with pear nectar.  Garnish with fresh mint leaves and a large fresh raspberry.

For other great cranberry recipes to take you from appetizers and tapas to entrées, side dishes, and desserts, check out Cranberry Cooking.  It’s part of a series of 8 pocket cookbooks, all featuring easy recipes to help you star in the kitchen.  They’re all available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and more.  (If you buy one on Amazon, you can also get the digital edition FREE!)   Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Our Maltipoo, Bandit, received the most lovely thank you note… from another dog, no less.  Mr. Casey had just read Bandit’s book, “A Dangerous Book for Dogs.”

He said:

“Hi Bandit.  The best book ever!  You can tell, my humans, Judy & Ken wrote this for me.  We loved reading your story and all your helpful information.  I, too, am a Maltipoo, and my name is “Mr. Casey.”  I weigh 16 pounds, and I have champagne color fur.  I hope you don’t mind; I let my human Mom and Dad read your training methods so they would know what to do with me.  I hope you can come visit me someday.  I thank you again.”

Well, Bandit, with all his 7 pounds of fun, fur, and fury, is very happy to have gotten that missive.  He says he is planning a visit with his newest fan very soon… even though Mr. Casey ignored Bandit’s warning to NOT share his secret tips for training your humans with ANY humans.  Sigh.

Such is a dog’s life.  Love, cookies, and belly rubs.

You can find Bandit’s “A Dangerous Book for Dogs” in paperback and digital (Kindle) formats on sites like Amazon and Barnes & Noble, as well as in Audiobook from Audible.com.