Omar Farhad's Blog: Honor and Polygamy, page 2

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Dear friends,

While achieving a goal is a big accomplishment at any level or any age, it is even sweeter, when within eight months of publication, the first work of a self-published author is chosen to be adapted into a motion picture.

http://honorandpolygamythemovie.com/

Nick Blake, working for the United Nations, had just returned to New York five weeks before, after spending six months in Afghanistan. His immediate supervisor and liaison for Afghan affairs, Bob Welch, calls Nick requesting he return to Afghanistan because his co-worker, Patrick, bowed out due to a family emergency. Nick has to leave in two weeks for another six months in Afghanistan. Nick and his wife, Lisa, hate even the thought of it.

Nick made it to Khandahar Air Field, but didn’t make his connecting flight to Kabul because, his friend, Charlie, took him to meet some contacts. Charlie and two others were killed; Nick was captured by the Taliban. Now, no one knows where he is – at least not right away. His captors, especially Molawee Abdul Satar, think Nick would be valuable to the US government. They tape him and place it on the internet; they wait for someone to claim him.

Overtime, Nick has a chance to view his surroundings and make a plan. When he manages to escape, he runs to one of the houses in the distance. He asks for Nanawatai (asylum). He seeks asylum from Gulbaz, who brings Nick into his home. Nick can stay in the guest room, separate from the main house. Unfortunately, Molawee isn’t giving up; Gulbaz gets caught up in the matter and seeks an elder’s advice. Nick needs to become a member of Gulbaz family; marry Gulbaz’ sixteen year old daughter, Shaista.

Time drags on. Nick begins to accept his life with Gulbaz and Shaista. He is finally rescued, but he can’t cope. He begins to prefer his compelled marriage to Shaista as opposed to his family – his marriage of eight years to Lisa and their children. Once home, he plans to return for Shaista.

I almost see a Stockholm syndrome set in. He could no longer communicate with Lisa and the children. I felt such frustration for all parties. It’s not a fairy-tale story. You may read it to the end, but the story will stay with you for a long time after. About half way into the book, the writing took on a very simplistic style for a while. I’m not sure if this was done purposely or what it may have been to convey. This is Omar Farhad’s debut novel. He has lived in Afghanistan as well as in the United States. I have every reason to believe the descriptions are real. I rated Honor and Polygamy at 4 out of 5.

“Fate leads him who follows it, and drags him who resist” - Plutarch



Author Omar Farhad’s novel, ‘Honor and Polygamy’ narrates the story of Nicholas Blake, a diplomatic officer working with the United Nations in New York City. Having just returned from an overseas tour for U.N, Nick is looking forward to a peaceful domestic life with his wife, Lisa and his two children, Ashley and Fargo when fate deals him the first of many wild cards. He is asked to report back to Afghanistan on a six month mission; landing there and even before he gets to officially feel homesick, fate arrives in his life once again in the form of lean & bearded Taliban men who kidnap him and imprison him in a village on the hills. Months go by quickly before Nick escapes from their clutches, albeit only partially, as he now finds that his only chance at redemption lies in the hands of the villagers. In a bizarre life and death situation, Nick is forced to take a second wife, to try and to survive and hopefully get back to his real family in America. But as fate would have it, Nick can’t help falling in love with his new bride, Shaista and thus begins the struggle to make sense of the world around him while trying to overcome the guilt and confusion in having to choose between his two families.



Honor and Polygamy is a fascinating look at Afghanistan that goes over and beyond what a mere travelogue, a history lesson or even an adventure thriller set in the mountains does. On the face of it, it is an adventure story involving a character called Nick but a deeper introspection will reveal that the author has painfully strived to tell something more through this book, to enlighten and shed more light on the rich and sometimes perplexing culture of a country. Afghans and people who have visited or served in Afghanistan are sure to applaud the level of accuracy and deep insights Omar provides into the country’s social, political and cultural environment.



The opening chapters in ‘Honor and Polygamy’ brilliantly capture the feelings of the lead character Nick as he prepares himself for the arduous journey ahead. Omar has captured Nick’s sense of awe, fear, confusion, guilt and determination very well as he discovers himself on this journey. A love story that springs out of nowhere reiterates the fact that you can never predict the wild aces life will throw at you. The portrayal of desperation and agony Nick has to undergo not once but twice, once trying to get back home and then trying to return back to where he started from is very realistically done. The kind of extraordinary undertakings he goes through is testament to the fact that a man will do just about anything and go to any lengths when his mind is clear about the decision made.



At times ‘Honor and Polygamy’reads like a memoir, partly because of the likeness to a first person narrative and partly also due to the amount of detailed emotions the author has been able to convey through the lead character’s journey; it is a rarity that you don’t usually get to see in other books of similar genesis. Omar Farhad very skilfully pulls you into this claustrophobic situation early on and from then, every step of the journey; the reader becomes a willing accomplice or a witness to Nick’s emotional and physical travails.There is a good mix of political and historical insight into the past, the present and the possible future for Afghanistan that has been presented alongside the core story. And it is something that should bring a little more awareness in people’s minds about a region that they have been hearing about for a long time but don’t really know much about due to the kind of limited and biased reporting we see today from the major news networks.



Omar Farhad takes you on a journey through ‘Honor and Polygamy’ that is bound to leave you with more knowledge and understanding than before. And everything in the book from the terrain to the people are going to leave a lasting impression in your mind. It's one of those rare books that’s difficult to put down once you start reading it.

Book Reviews
Burqas Are Awesome
by sarahwathen • August 22, 2014

A Book Review of Honor and Polygamy by Omar Farhad

(Find it on Amazon here.)

Okay, burqas aren’t exactly awesome, but…read on.

As soon as I read the description of “Honor and Polygamy” by Omar Farhad, I knew I wanted to read it—the subject matter was exactly the opposite of what I habitually read, and I’ve been making an effort to branch out. In the past, I would have turned a distasteful frown, like a driver annoyed by all the rubber-neckers ogling a wreck on the interstate, to a story about a man forced into a polygamist union in Afghanistan.

I am so glad I didn’t.

Like many Americans, I knew next to nothing about life in Afghanistan apart from sensational news snippets on the unpopular war. I admit I wasn’t interested in learning more either, the burqa being so offensive to me that it was hard to see past that particular part of the Afghan culture. But, for some reason I just had to know how the author was going to pull it off. How was Farhad going to make me believe that an American man was forced to marry a second wife, out of honor? After reading a couple of pages, I thought I had made a mistake at first. The spare writing style was so different from my favored literature, so masculine.

But, I couldn’t stop—I was hooked! The best part about Farhad’s prose is his use of the present tense to create suspense, right from the beginning. The story starts in New York and since I knew the main character, Nick Blake, was somehow going to end up marrying an Afghan woman against his will, I was so eager to get to the action that I found myself appreciating the straight-forward language used. No flowery, poetic passages steeped in imagery. No long conversations or hefty descriptions of characters. I was supplied with only what was needed to move the story along. Quickly. However, by the middle of the book I found myself with a strong sense of place and I was surprised how connected I felt to the characters. I even…wait for it…began to understand why a woman would want to wear a burqa.

I’m grateful to this author for bringing the fascinating land and culture of Afghanistan into my mind and heart—an intimacy I never would’ve imagined. Omar Farhad’s tale had me hoping against hope for a happy ending, as implausible as that would’ve been. I was willing to make the leap. I had fallen in love with the characters, indeed with the culture itself. Unfortunately, we all know there is no happy ending when it comes to Afghanistan.

At least not yet.

Inshallah.

—Sarah Wathen

A Chat With Omar Farhad About Debut Novel ‘Honor And Polygamy’
October 16, 2014Books, Ebook, Interviews, My Blogs, politics, World BrouhahaAfghanistan, Amazon.com, honor, Kabul, Omar Farhad, polygamy, University of Phoenix, war


Can a foreigner ever understand the harsh reality of the constant struggle of the Afghanistan people and their culture?

Omar Farhad’s début novel gives readers a closer look at what it takes for people to survive in a world where chaos has become the norm, but where deep cultural rituals and habits are kept alive.

While Farhad’s story is fictional the novel sheds light on real living conditions in a world constantly torn apart by war. Honor and Polygamy shows Afghanistan’s plight from a different perspective.

Nicholas Blake, a UN diplomat from New York is assigned one last deployment to Afghanistan. However, Nicholas does not realize how much this deployment would change his life. He never planned on getting kidnapped, and used as a tool for the very Taliban he is trying to help remove from Afghanistan. Nicholas takes readers on his journey of hardships, and the terrible decisions he must make to stay alive, and return home to his wife and children he left behind. Farhad describes both Nicholas’ American world and his Afghanistan world with the relatable interactions of his characters. Will Nicholas’ knowledge of Afghanistan culture, and his nearly perfect Pashtun help him survive his captivity? How far will he go to save his life?

“What if I had done it differently? Would I be in the same mess? If I explained it to Lisa, would she understand? No . No matter how good my intentions were and how bad my circumstances are, my wife will never understand. She will always feel betrayed by and disappointed in me.” -Nicholas Blake in the novel Honor and Polygamy by Omar Farhad.

As a spouse, mother, sister, aunt, and friend of men and women who have deployed to Afghanistan. I am very aware of the dangers that can occur for people on deployment military or civilians. I also think much about Afghanistan people and how the war must affect their way of life. Honor and Polygamy stirs the hearts of readers to empathize with Nicholas’ actions to survive. Readers are left to reflect on how Nicholas’ survival may conflict with their own cultural beliefs and moral values. How far would you go?

We speak briefly with Omar Farhad about his novel and what brought him to tell us his story.

Budom: Were you concerned how recent current events might affect feedback from your readership regarding the political nature of the story?

Omar Farhad: First, I want to thank you for allowing me this opportunity to express myself and at the same time explain the nature of my début novel.

Honestly, I am very concerned with the recent US government’s reckless behavior in the Middle East and Afghanistan. Looking at the recent government changes that the US made or encouraged starting in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Egypt, and now in Syria, the political situation in mentioned nations have become more dangerous. The new weak and corrupt governments are not able to defend their nations against the new created fundamentalist ideology. Therefore, “one dictator is better than many corrupt official”. That in mind, the US experimentation of forced-fed democracy in the Middle East must stop at once before the entire world is pulled into a world war III.

Budom: As an Afghan-American man writing, a reader might assume that the book is very one side. However, I found it was not. Was it difficult emotionally for you to write the story?

To answer the first part of your question, every reader will judge my point of view according to his or her level of understanding. As a writer, the very first thing I have learned in writing is to be honest and truthful. I will never deviate from stating the facts directly or indirectly.

I used to work as a contractor in Afghanistan for a little over two years. After the end of my second year, I realized the US efforts in Afghanistan will ultimately have fruitless ending. In Afghanistan and the rest of the Middle East where the United States has been involved politically, the US government simultaneously failed to recognize the cultural distance, societal complexities, and change political practices. One size does not fit all.

Budom: Could this have really happened in Afghanistan if someone like Nick should request “Nanawatai,” which means “asylum” in Pashtun’s culture, and the language of the southern and eastern Afghanistan people?

Omar Farhad: The honor codes that I have mentioned in my book does exist in reality and yes, if someone like Nick who needed asylum “Nanawatai” would have been taken in by a Pashtun family. These codes of honor are many thousands year old. In a tribal uneducated society like Afghanistan, these codes of honor are still good as gold to bring order and to keep peace.

Budom: What do you want ‘Honor and Polygamy’ to accomplish as a novel? Do you find it is getting good reception with readers and critics?

Omar Farhad: Yes, the book is received warmly. Feedbacks from Amazon and goodreads.com are all positive.

I as an Afghan born had many hopes for Afghanistan. However, “seeing is believing” and what I have witnessed in Afghanistan did not give me hope for a better future.

After 14 years of US involvement in Afghanistan, after many lives lost on both sides, and after billions of dollars lost to a created corrupt system, the American public does not understand why we are involved in that war. The most typical and basic perception of the American people is, the spread of democracy. Well, that is a great idea but, did every American woke up one morning and realized they were born free? The answer is no. Democracy in the United States was achieved over a period of 300 years with many sacrifices made by those before us. The same is true about other nations and the same process and time is needed to achieve democracy.

With Honor and Polygamy, I am hoping to point out missed opportunities, cultural distance, and cultural complexities that were first missed by the British invading Afghanistan in late 1800s, the Russians in 1980s, and the US since 2001.

Budom: Will you be writing more on this subject on a future novel or do you have something else planned?

I am currently working on my own memoir, which also have a political side to it. My journey as a child begins right before the Russian invasion and I grow to a young man in war torn country and as a refugee in Pakistan.

Thank you Omar for giving us a look into another world and culture. I look forward to your next book. Honor and Polygamy can be found on Amazon.com.